While I'm working on the next part of the story (yes I know, delays, ugh), here's a bit to tide you over. It's a bit late for April Fool's, but what the hell. Wolfgang Meier is an actual person, btw, and pretty well known to anyone who was stationed or did maneuvers around Soltau-Luneberg during the Cold War.
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World War III: 1988
Addendum G: Wolfgang Meier, aka "The Bratty Man", Legend of the Cold War and WW3
To just about any British soldier of the BAOR in Northern Germany, or indeed any other NATO troops that did maneuvers in the same area, the name Wolfgang Meier was well known. However, Wolfgang Meier was not a soldier, spy, or politician of any sort. Wolfgang Meier was a humble, friendly yet successful food truck operator who started his business in the 1970's, and who went on to continue his food service when WW3 broke out, and miraculously, much to the relief and delight of many a NATO soldier, survived.
An enterprising German businessman who ran his own food truck, a blue Mercedes van dubbed "Wolfgang's Grill Shop", Wolfgang "The Bratty Man" could always be seen out in the field whenever British and NATO armies were out on maneuvers in the Soltau-Luneberg training area, selling hot fish and chips, hot sausages,
currywurst und pommes frites, and other popular street food to many a hungry soldier who tired quickly of the standard military rations. Wolfgang was well-known and well-liked by the troops, and seemed to have an uncanny way of knowing wherever the British and NATO garrisons were holding their maneuvers. Indeed, there was many a Chieftain and later Challenger tank convoy that were surprised to see the well-known blue Mercedes van putter by before honking it's horn and coming to a stop, announcing it had hot, fresh and most importantly, NOT military-issued ration food for sale. It was then usually a race among many a vehicle crewman or soldier who could line up at the food truck first, much to the irritation of many a sergeant or officer. Wolfgang himself admitted years later he often knew where the NATO troops were on maneuvers by offering a friendly bribe in the form of cold German beer to many a thirsty vehicle crew.
However, the storm of war began to gather over Europe, and Wolfgang's uncanny knack of knowing the area and the routes around Northern Germany soon gained the interest of none other than the Soviets and East Germans. Several days prior to the outbreak of war, Wolfgang, who was still resolutely out selling his wares to troops in the area, found himself tailed while traveling to another site by several "gentlemen of odd repute" in a nondescript Volkswagen automobile. He found it odd at first, then was alarmed when the Volkswagen gained speed and one of it's occupants could be seen pulling out an AKS-74U carbine along with his companions. Thankfully, a British Challenger tank that had gotten left behind it's comrades after having to stop to fix an engine leak also happened to venture upon the scene, and when seeing the gunmen in the car, Opened fire with both of it's 7.62mm machine guns and shot the occupants to pieces. It was later determined the former occupants of the car had been a Soviet
Spetsnaz team with orders to kidnap Wolfgang Meier and interrogate him for information on what he knew about the dispersion of British, American and West German troop in the area. Wolfgang for his part offered his gratitude to the crew of the British Challenger tank in the form of a free hot lunch with some cold beer.
Much to the dismay of family and friends, and even some soldiers, Wolfgang Meier continued to soldier on with his food truck when WW3 finally broke out. Wolfgang soon found himself with an increasingly diverse number of customers, in this case many of them American who had arrived when REFORGER was activated, and these soldiers also came to appreciate Wolfgang's hot wares. However, Wolfgang was still a "person of interest" to the Soviets and East Germans, and soon Wolfgang found himself keeping closer to the NATO troops, as he claimed it was for his own safety in spite of the often constant threat of Soviet and WARPA air, artillery, FROG-7 and SCUD missile attacks. Indeed, as the war was underway another attempt was made to kidnap Wolfgang, this time by an East German
Fallschirmjager "Willi Sanger" fireteam who tried to creep upon Wolfgang and his wife as they were sleeping outside their truck one night. The team in question however had the bad luck of running afoul of the thermal sights of several new M-2A2 Bradley's attached to US V Corps that were in overwatch. The Bradleys in a slight case of overkill, proceeded to open up with their autocannons AND their machine guns, along with the American mechanized infantry that had been sleeping nearby and were jolted awake by the commotion, and proceeded to blaze their weapons into the now rather dismembered former East German paratrooper team as well. Afterwards, Wolfgang himself is reputed to have said, "I am grateful for the Americans, but they sometimes scare me all the same."
Wolfgang's status would become even more of a legend as the war progressed. In spite of the rationing of foodstuffs in West Germany, Wolfgang always had a ready supply of hot food for the troops, and it was rumored he had been given a special pass and license along with a steady supply from no less than the West German government, though German officials declined to comment. He would continue to feed the troops, occasionally coming under fire from air attacks, narrowly dodging several strafing runs from both SU-25 Frogfoot aircraft as well as MI-24 Hind gunships. He would also narrowly miss several artillery barrages, with several bits of shrapnel peppering his van, one piece in particular getting wedged in the cab front which he later kept as a conversation piece. It was said that Wolfgang was, to quote one unnamed British general, "bloody invincible or just plain damn lucky". Up to the end of the war, even as NATO turned the tide and pushed East, Wolfgang would often be seen tailing along with several trucks that would keep him supplied with food, forming a sort of "gypsy convoy".
Perhaps the most famous incident involving Wolfgang was when NATO had shifted the momentum and was pushing eastward into the Warsaw Pact region. Wolfgang and his aforementioned gypsy convoy, which in this case now had its own regular "unofficial escort" by way of several M2 Bradleys and upgunned HMMWV's, was trailing behind a thrust by elements of US V Corps and British I Corps into the DDR. They all had a surprise when a gaggle of bedraggled-looking NVA soldiers came out from a nearby forest, waving their hands. As the convoy came to a stop and the military escorts trained their weapons, the NVA soldiers made an instant beeline for Wolfgang's truck. The Americans shouted at the NVA troops to halt...until Wolfgang had an idea and came out with an armload of his own famous
currywurst und pommes frites. The NVA soldiers practically kissed Wolfgang's hands and appeared to surrender to the food truck operator before they promptly devoured the food Wolfgang had offered to them, while the bemused Americans looked on. A CNN camera crew that had also been following the convoy that day caught the entire incident on video for the world to see of hungry, ragged NVA soldiers surrendering to a West German food vendor. It was later rumored that Erich Honecker upon seeing this himself nearly had a stroke.
When the war finally ended in 1989, Wolfgang, his wife and coworkers returned home, and while they continued their business, they became more involved in the reconstruction of a Germany that had been devastated by the war. However, he was given postwar citations by American, British, German and other troops thanking him for this morale contribution to the war effort. It has been said many a war-weary soldier was brought to tears and was given the strength to go another day when they were able to buy, or just as often barter for a steaming foil-wrapped serving of hot food from Wolfgang's van.
Today, the "Wolfgang's Grill Shop" Mercedes van, with several shrapnel and bullet hits, is on display at the NATO Memorial War Museum in Berlin. Wolfgang Meier himself and his wife now operate "Wolfgang's Pub and Grill" back in Soltau-Luneberg, and still get occasional visits from veterans of the Third Wold War who will chat and reminisce with him, and get a discount on beer. As for Wolfgang Meier himself, he chuckled when talking about the citations he received and replied that in retrospect "there was no need to thank me, I made a very good living from it!".