What If? ROB lets you sic a terminator on a historic figure of your choice

Buba

A total creep
I didn't know that he had a son. I do know that the Ancient Greeks did have a preference for male-male sexual relationships to the point that books have been written about it.
Men were for relationships, women were for breeding. That's the Ancient Greek way.
Factoid - Athenian democracy came about from a row over who gets to be the boyfriend of a hawt! male teenie.
 

Hlaalu Agent

Nerevar going to let you down
Founder
I didn't know that he had a son. I do know that the Ancient Greeks did have a preference for male-male sexual relationships to the point that books have been written about it.

Well, strictly speaking you weren't wrong. Alexander IV was posthumous, so in that sense Megas Alexandros died childless. It depends on how you define childless...

Anyways that gets me to the point that I'd send the Terminator to end Cassander and save the Argeads.
 

bintananth

behind a desk
Men were for relationships, women were for breeding. That's the Ancient Greek way.
Factoid - Athenian democracy came about from a row over who gets to be the boyfriend of a hawt! male teenie.
They also had a prefence for small penisis. My dick would be called "obscenely large" by an Ancient Greek even though it's about average in size and what my wife thinks is perfect.
 

bintananth

behind a desk
Now you made me imagine Ancient Greeks shopping for apparel and asking one another: "Bro, does this make my penis look big?!?"
You joke, but in Ancient Greece athletics were done naked and a big penis was a liabality during a Pankration wrestling match.
 

Buba

A total creep
You joke, but in Ancient Greece athletics were done naked and a big penis was a liabality during a Pankration wrestling match.
So, like in gymnastics or figure skating, the judges subtracted points for Artistic Impression?

Seriously - waving one's glans at another man was Bad Manners.
Gross!
It was Good Form to tie the foreskin with a piece of string to prevent the head poking out in Uncouth Manner.
 

bintananth

behind a desk
So, like in gymnastics or figure skating, the judges subtracted points for Artistic Impression?

Seriously - waving one's glans at another man was Bad Manners.
Gross!
It was Good Form to tie the foreskin with a piece of string to prevent the head poking out in Uncouth Manner.
In Pankration a big dick just gave your opponent a larger "handle" to grab during the no holes bared fight.

As for the rest of your post ... yeah, they did tie themselves down because getting too exicted in public was not appropriate.
 

Husky_Khan

The Dog Whistler... I mean Whisperer.
Founder
The thread has been derailed by talk about dicks.

I will put things back on track by supporting @Lord Sovereign in the proposal of killing one of the biggest dicks of all time.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau must die.

Nice idea.

I remember reading Intellectuals by Paul Johnson. Learning about what a cretin Jean Jacques Rousseau was in addition to how he was basically a major origin of the modern leftist thought was both sobering and eye opening. And that was from a book profiling such "wonderful" luminaries like Karl Marx and the like. He really stood out as a scoundrel both personally and professionally.
 

Skallagrim

Well-known member
Nice idea.

I remember reading Intellectuals by Paul Johnson. Learning about what a cretin Jean Jacques Rousseau was in addition to how he was basically a major origin of the modern leftist thought was both sobering and eye opening. And that was from a book profiling such "wonderful" luminaries like Karl Marx and the like. He really stood out as a scoundrel both personally and professionally.
Yeah. This is the guy who fathered an illegitimate child, didn't take responibility for it, then stole the child from the mother, and dumped the child in orphanage.

And then wrote about about child-rearing.

If I knew absolutely nothing else about the man, these facts alone would tell me enough.
 

Buba

A total creep
The thread has been derailed by talk about dicks.
White Dicks Matter

On a testosterone heavy board some degree of sausage waving is inevitable.

I will put things back on track by supporting @Lord Sovereign in the proposal of killing one of the biggest dicks of all time.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau must die.
If that kills off Marx and his nefarious genocidal cult, then I'm very much for.

I wonder how would the world look like if I sicced a terminator on Klodwig of the Franks? Or Karl der Grosse? Both were in Tywinesque level of "cunt" territory.
 
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Skallagrim

Well-known member
If that kills off Marx and his nefarious genocidal cult, then I'm very much for.
Rousseau was the main inspiration for Robespierre and his ilk. No Rousseau means no Jacobin terror. Could prevent the entire revolution, even, but if it doesn't, we see that constitutional monarchy becomes the likely result. Which means: no room for the extremists of OTL to rise to prominence and exploit the situation to propagate their ideas (which would be universally dismissed under regular circumstances). No Saint-Just. No Hébert. No Babeuf. No Buonarroti. No Saint-Simon. No Fourier. That's the main progenitors of socialism and communism wiped off the board, right there. Without Rousseau's influence shaping the events that in OTL led to (and guided) the revolution, none of these figures are in any way likely to gain a foothold.

As a consequence, we'd see no Blanc and no Blanqui and no Paris commune at all. At that point we've butterflied away Marx and Engels, but also Proudhon and Comte and Weitling and Cabet and Bakunin and Herzen and Most and Lord knows how many others of their kind

I'd even wager that Rouseau's absence would also mean no Morelly, so that would be the most prominent pre-Revolution proto-socialist gone, too. On that note, Rousseau's doctrine of the "general will" being gone also has major philosophical implications, since it's the direct basis for modern totalitarianism. When Napoleon usurps power with reference to his supposed representing of the people, that's Rousseau talking. When Hitler shrieks "Du bist nichts, dein volk is alles!" -- that's Rousseau talking. In the latter case, of course, it arrives via Hegel. But guess what? Remove Rousseau, and you get rid of Hegel, too.

So. Yes. It's safe to say that removing Rousseau kills off Marxism. But not just Marxism. All of modern socialism and communism. Pretty much all left-anarchism. The whole basis of modern totalitarianism, which includes fascism and nazism as well, for instance. And beyond that, the whole thrice-accursed doctrine of positivism is strangled in the crib.

If I had a gun with two bullets, and I could fire them through time at any target -- I'd shoot Rousseau twice, just to be sure.


I wonder how would the world look like if I sicced a terminator on Klodwig of the Franks? Or Karl der Grosse? Both were in Tywinesque level of "cunt" territory.
Well, that's the basis of Western culture as we know it gone! One the one hand, I can hear my distant Saxon ancestors applauding from the far past. One the other hand, this would render the world so unrecognisable that I really can't say if it would be better in any meaningful way.

Could go in any direction, really.
 

Lord Sovereign

The resident Britbong
I'd even wager that Rouseau's absence would also mean no Morelly, so that would be the most prominent pre-Revolution proto-socialist gone, too. On that note, Rousseau's doctrine of the "general will" being gone also has major philosophical implications, since it's the direct basis for modern totalitarianism. When Napoleon usurps power with reference to his supposed representing of the people, that's Rousseau talking. When Hitler shrieks "Du bist nichts, dein volk is alles!" -- that's Rousseau talking. In the latter case, of course, it arrives via Hegel. But guess what? Remove Rousseau, and you get rid of Hegel, too.

This is a great post, but please don't mention Napoleon in the same breath as these people.

It gives me conniptions.
 

ShieldWife

Marchioness
Here’s a controversial take: kill Oliver Cromwell and protect King Charles.

I can see protecting Lincoln but not going after Confederate leadership. Protecting Lincoln could lead to a more friendly reconciliation between the North and the South, which is the benefit of protecting him.

I think I’d like to kill Mehmed II the Conquerer. This may not have saved Constantinople in the long run, but it might, maybe at least buy them some time and give the Byzantium a chance at survival.

Maybe kill Mayer Amschel Rothschild, to reduce chance of big banks and finance coming to dominate Western nations.

Karl Marx, as many others have mentioned.
 

Aldarion

Neoreactionary Monarchist
Kill Muhammad. If you can prevent Islam and Muslim expansion... no Dark Ages in Europe. No disruption in the East-West trade - which means no need to sail westwards. No sailing westwards means no finding Americas for some time, which means that European colonialism is either prevented or at least seriously delayed. This would likely mean no Seven Years War, which then means no American Revolution and French Revolution. Result of this is that there would be no Marxism, no Red Revolution - and no Communism also means no Nazism and no Fascism as these were reactions to Communism (think of a cytokine storm in immune system). Which means that few dozen different genocides do not happen.
 

WolfBear

Well-known member
Kill Muhammad. If you can prevent Islam and Muslim expansion... no Dark Ages in Europe. No disruption in the East-West trade - which means no need to sail westwards. No sailing westwards means no finding Americas for some time, which means that European colonialism is either prevented or at least seriously delayed. This would likely mean no Seven Years War, which then means no American Revolution and French Revolution. Result of this is that there would be no Marxism, no Red Revolution - and no Communism also means no Nazism and no Fascism as these were reactions to Communism (think of a cytokine storm in immune system). Which means that few dozen different genocides do not happen.

Some Muslim extremists might literally behead you if they saw this post of yours! :(

In regards to Muhammad, his existence might have been necessary for the US to come into being, no? Though Islam is certainly a considerably more regressive force than Christianity is nowadays, especially outside of Sub-Saharan Africa. There are nutty Christian countries like Uganda but also plenty of tolerant Christian countries, but tolerance in the Muslim world is much rarer, especially on things such as LGBTQ+ rights.
 

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