Thus Buzzes the Babylon Bee

...you do realize the degradation in effectiveness of public schools charts pretty specifically with them being given over to "professional" educators, right? Professional educators are part of the problem (because they form a bureaucracy, and thus exist to perpetrate themselves rather than the job the supposedly exist for).
Professional educators have been around for thousands of years and it wasn't until sending kids to school became mandatory that those educators were available to people who weren't extremely wealthy.
 
Professional educators have been around for thousands of years and it wasn't until sending kids to school became mandatory that those educators were available to people who weren't extremely wealthy.

You are again showing your ignorance.

Communities (in America at least) built their own schoolhouses and hired their own teachers well before government got itself involved in education.
 
You are again showing your ignorance.

Communities (in America at least) built their own schoolhouses and hired their own teachers well before government got itself involved in education.
Those teachers were professionals and the money needed to pay their salaries (and build the damn schoolhouse in the first place) had to come from somewhere and that somewhere was almost always, formally or informally, some form of local taxes.
 
Those teachers were professionals and the money needed to pay their salaries (and build the damn schoolhouse in the first place) had to come from somewhere and that somewhere was almost always, formally or informally, some form of local taxes.

A private agreement among citizens to pay a teacher in a one-room schoolhouse without question bears more resemblance to a private school than a public school.

Because there's no threat of force behind the collection of such funds, and the parents can choose to withdraw their children from such and won't keep being taxed regardless. Depending on contracts involved, they might not get back the money they paid for that quarter, semester, or possibly year's tuition, but they aren't stuck paying for it indefinitely whether they use it or not, and as such, there is more direct accountability.

Trying to pretend 'a group of people got together to hire a teacher cooperatively' is the same as mandatory government schooling at the best reveals a very powerful bias in your thinking.
 
The value of professional teachers is also quite overstated, there's been a number of studies that have demonstrated that there is little connection between a teacher's performance and thier training as a teacher (this is distinct from their knowledge of the subject. If you have a college degree in math you're going to teach math better than someone without that knowledge, but if you have a degree in math and a degree in education, you're unlikely to outperform the guy with just a math degree).
 
State schools are on average more expensive, and less effective at actually teaching. Entrenchment from teacher's unions has also actively retarded attempts to improve education for decades, on top of being signifanctly responsible for it going downhill so much in the first place.

Government schools have all of the classic problems of monopolies, with the added bonus of taking your money by force even if you don't want to use their 'service.'

Don't get me wrong. There are some good teachers, and some good schools, out there. But that's in spite of the system, not because of it.
So I guess my response is to try to fix this problem by making the schools actually good instead of just getting rid of them.

The value of professional teachers is also quite overstated, there's been a number of studies that have demonstrated that there is little connection between a teacher's performance and thier training as a teacher (this is distinct from their knowledge of the subject. If you have a college degree in math you're going to teach math better than someone without that knowledge, but if you have a degree in math and a degree in education, you're unlikely to outperform the guy with just a math degree).
I'm sure my parents would disagree with you, but I honestly think it's something of a crap shoot. At the university level, essentially what you get is exactly what you just described, and a lot of those people in the STEM field especially, are only really there so they can do research they want to do. Some of them are still pretty good at instructing, but others can't teach worth a damn. I had a few instructors who were obviously brilliant, but could not convey what they knew in a way students could understand. I think at least some of that is attitude, but I honestly wonder if you either just have the ability or don't. Of course, the Marxism that's been intertwined with professional education for decades isn't helping things either.
 
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So I guess my response is to try to fix this problem by making the schools actually good instead of just getting rid of them.

I would be perfectly fine with the current schools staying open, so long as they have to compete with other schools for the per-student vouchers or similar a reformed system would have.

They'd have to get their shit in order or go broke real quick.
 
Yeah, the meme, which seems more or less true, is that the students listen to 8 hours of lectures, then go home and ask their parents to actually learn anything. The point where teachers outperform parents who care seems to be fairly high up the chain of education: the advantage of a teacher in teaching reading and writing skills vs parents probably doesn't really manifest until, what, high school texts? And even there it seems less the teacher and more just forcing students to read and write a bunch. If the high school isn't even doing that, its still pretty useless.

Now, you can have parents teach stupid shit, but teachers don't seem to be particularly good at not teaching stupid shit either: new math has been a long running, well deserved mockable thing.
 
I would be perfectly fine with the current schools staying open, so long as they have to compete with other schools for the per-student vouchers or similar a reformed system would have.

They'd have to get their shit in order or go broke real quick.

If you think there's remotely enough private schools or charter schools to even ATTEMPT to replace public schools, you are flat out disconnected to reality.

Sure, private schools are technically 25% of America's schools... but they only serve 10% of America's students.

There wouldn't be remotely enough supply for many people to switch.

Also, because of the voucher system and because of people interested in switching who do now have the option, the price of private schools would likely go up.

Its also worth noting that the percentage of American students in private schools has been declining; from 1995 to 2021 there was a 20% decline in the percentage of students in private schools.

Beyond this, 78% of private schools are religious, meaning there is a lack of secular schools, which is what quite a number of parents would prefer.

Any sort of belief that a pure per-student voucher system would result in a massive win for private education and a loss for the public school system is pure wish fulfillment fantasy.

It also ignores that both Private and Public schools have a ridiculously large range of quality, with Public Schools ranging from "Upper Middle Class Suburbs with 8 digit facilities"* to "you have gang wars in the hallways," and Private Schools ranging from "literal memetic boarding school for the super elite" to "the education is a joke and the teachers were just desperate for any job."

* The schools of the real upper middle class are very different from the schools of the proles.
 
Any sort of belief that a pure per-student voucher system would result in a massive win for private education and a loss for the public school system is pure wish fulfillment fantasy.

It's not 'pure wish fulfillment fantasy.' It's recognizing that breaking a state-enforced near-monopoly is good for almost everyone involved.

If thousands to tens of thousands of dollars per student are freed up from state schools, you can bet your ass private schools will start popping up left and right to meet that demand. The transition wouldn't happen all at once or in some single magical moment, but give it 5-10 years, and you'd see a massive move to meet market demand, just like with any other service industry.
 
advantage of a teacher in teaching reading and writing skills vs parents probably doesn't really manifest until, what, high school texts?
Based on my experience when it comes from homeschooling, the teaching gap doesn't close until being a college junior pursuing an actual bachelors degree in English Writing. There was nothing covered by my first and second years of college English that had not been covered, from a technical side, by my mother's education and in fact I, and my brothers, were both well advanced of other freshmen and sophmores when it came to reading and writing skills. The only new theories of literature interpretation I was exposed to was Critical studies versions of literary interpretation (which I actively mocked and got away with because this was the 00s and you were still allowed to oppose the bullshit), and it literally took until my Junior year of college for me to regularly encounter other students of my caliber in English and where I actually had to start putting in hard work on my essays to meet professor expectations... in my major classes, in my non-major classes essays never got that challenging.

For my younger brothers, neither of whom studied English as their major, their writing and reading skills were never challenged by anything in college, and they breezed through the lower level mandatory English comp and lit classes actively wondering just how stupid their peers were for having to be taught stuff that we'd know since middle school...
 
For my younger brothers, neither of whom studied English as their major, their writing and reading skills were never challenged by anything in college, and they breezed through the lower level mandatory English comp and lit classes actively wondering just how stupid their peers were for having to be taught stuff that we'd know since middle school...
The number of essays I wrote between 12 and 4 the morning they were due...

I got A's and B's on those, by the way. And yes, that is 12 AM there.
 
I hope to Yahweh this isn't true. Sensitive documents like this should've been destroyed lest they reveal the deep hidden vulnerabilities of our military! :oops:

 
We Have A Lot Of Words We'd Like To Call Joe Biden Right Now But We Are A Christian Website So Here Are Some G-Rated Alternatives

#10 is quite a good one

In Response To Afghanistan Disaster, Pelosi Begins Impeachment Proceedings Against President Trump (August 26th, 2021)

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has announced Congress will be taking action immediately as the situation in Afghanistan rapidly deteriorates. To hold those responsible for the evacuation debacle, Congress will consider articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump.
 

Babies have long been the mortal enemy of feminists, though feminists tend to know little about them other than that they do nothing but destroy women’s lives and keep them from meeting their full potential. Thus, when a woman becomes inflicted with one (and they’re vague on how this happens other than that it’s the patriarchy’s fault), they kill the baby as soon as possible before all of a woman's aspirations can be destroyed by this terrible monster.
 
If you leave education up to just parents and churches instead of professionals you'll get a lot people reaching adulthood with barely any formal education whatsoever past knowing how to read the religious texts their parent's place of worship uses.

That's...completely false. Home schooled childred end up with higher levels of understanding the fundamentals (reading, math, arythmatic, history) than pretty much 95% of public schooled children.
 

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