Thus Buzzes the Babylon Bee

[Husky_Khan]

A challenger emerges!!!

 

[The Whispering Monk]

Aaaaannd failed.

 

[Captain X]

I'm honestly surprised anyone can work up any anger over that pathetic excuse of a "satire" site. That shit just makes me laugh because it just shows that the saying about the left not being able to meme is entirely true.

 

[ATP]

I'm honestly surprised anyone can work up any anger over that pathetic excuse of a "satire" site. That shit just makes me laugh because it just shows that the saying about the left not being able to meme is entirely true.

They could made memes - on the same level,as soviet jokes about bad imperialists.And it work,when everybody laugh,becouse othewise go to gulag.In modern neosoviet society - lost work and home.

 

[PsihoKekec]

BBee does some Orcposting

Rohan Criticized For Crossing State Lines To Defend Minas Tirith

PELENNOR FIELDS—King Theoden and his accomplices in Rohan are facing possible murder charges, the cavalry being under intense scrutiny for crossing state lines before defending their neighbor to the south.

"They crossed state lines to get here—and do they even have a permit for those spears?" asked one stunned Orc, Garflob Magobblegon. "They're basically just coming down here hunting innocent Orcs."

Indeed, Magobblegon produced reliable witnesses who claim Rohan had been collaborating with a Dúnedain ranger who uttered the slur, "Let's hunt some Orc," though others claim this account is apocryphal and is not reflected in the earliest accounts of the ranger's exploits.

 

[Husky_Khan]

Kyle Rittenhouse is already busy...

Rioters Flee In Terror As Kyle Rittenhouse Emerges From Courthouse With AR-15

KENOSHA, WI—As the Rittenhouse trial drew to a close, Antifa rioters were preparing their violent destruction of the city. But their plans were quickly foiled as Rittenhouse emerged from the courthouse a free man, AR-15 in hand.

babylonbee.com

Rittenhouse, Sandmann Agree To Share Joint Custody Of CNN

ATLANTA, GA—With Rittenhouse found "not guilty", media outlets across the country are preparing for costly defamation lawsuits after a year of calling him a white supremacist.

babylonbee.com

 

[stephen the barbarian]

CNN Reports On 'Deadly Boat Accident' At Pearl Harbor
HONOLULU, HI—CNN and other mainstream news outlets are reporting on a "tragic, completely accidental" boating accident at Pearl Harbor. As details still come in, CNN is urging people to not rush to judgment or assign blame until the story goes away in a few days.

 

[Bacle]

 

[Cherico]

my response

 

[Scottty]

They could made memes - on the same level,as soviet jokes about bad imperialists.And it work,when everybody laugh,becouse othewise go to gulag.In modern neosoviet society - lost work and home.

A Soviet judge walks out of the courtroom chuckling. "Today I heard the funniest joke ever!" he tells a friend.
"Well, share it?"
"I can't! I've just sentenced someone to 10 years in Siberia for telling it!"

 

[stephen the barbarian]

Fed-Up Statue Of Liberty Moves To Florida

MIAMI, FL—Tourists unloading from the ferry onto Liberty Island in New York Harbor were met with disappointment this week, as the pedestal upon which the Statue of Liberty once stood was empty. Instead, a letter on stationery the size of a king bed lay on the pedestal with a message reading, “Fed up with New York, moving to Florida. - L. Liberty”

 

[Husky_Khan]

So many magical Christmas stories to be released I am sure.

Rudolph Changes Name To Rolanda, Dominates Female Reindeer Games

NORTH POLE—Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer received praise for taking a stunning and brave stance against outdated binary gender stagnation by changing his name to Rolanda and subsequently dominating every field in the North Pole’s annual Female Reindeer Games.

babylonbee.com

 

[bintananth]

So many magical Christmas stories to be released I am sure.

Rudolph Changes Name To Rolanda, Dominates Female Reindeer Games

NORTH POLE—Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer received praise for taking a stunning and brave stance against outdated binary gender stagnation by changing his name to Rolanda and subsequently dominating every field in the North Pole’s annual Female Reindeer Games.

babylonbee.com

I liked the Christmas present gift ideas video at the end.

 

[VicSage]

I don't appreciate it, but only because of the Red Ryder .50 cal. I cannot stand "A Christmas Story", I can't understand how anyone does like it.

The rest of the jokes are pretty decent. Yuge "How do you do, fellow kids?" energy.

 

[PsihoKekec]

Man Mistaken For Redhead Complains Of Being Misgingered

SEATTLE, WA—According to sources, local skateboarder and part-time anticapitalist revolutionary Astroph Zendercrack filed a complaint with local authorities after someone mistook him for a redhead.

"I am sick and tired of being misgingered," said Zendercrack to reporters. "My hair is sandy brown people, SANDY BROWN! It's not red! I'm not a ginger! I HAVE A SOUL!"

Gingers often face discrimination, but sometimes those who identify as "strawberry blonde" or "sandy brown" get mistaken for redheads. Based on statements from Zendercrack's friends, he is often misgingered by strangers who don't know any better—and it's starting to take its toll.

"It's taking a serious toll on my mental health, man," he continued. "The white capitalist patriarchy has constructed an elaborate system specifically designed to exclude and oppress people of red hair. It's not fair that I get lumped in!"

 

[Typhonis]

But gingers have souls. Every freckle they have is another soul they have eaten

 

[ATP]

But gingers have souls. Every freckle they have is another soul they have eaten

I read,that they are people with traits of Neanderthals,but they do not eat souls,only bodies.

 

[bintananth]

I read,that they are people with traits of Neanderthals,but they do not eat souls,only bodies.

Ramesses II, one the greatest Ancient Egyptian Pharoahs, was a pale skinned wavy haired redhead*. I don't know if he ate souls but the descendents of Neanderthals did play a major role in creating civilization as we know it.

* DNA analysis of his mummy proved that.

 

[Urabrask Revealed]

Ramesses II, one the greatest Ancient Egyptian Pharoahs, was a pale skinned wavy haired redhead*. I don't know if he ate souls but the descendents of Neanderthals did play a major role in creating civilization as we know it.

* DNA analysis of his mummy proved that.

Naw, maaan, he wuz a proud POC Kang like all of us african americans! Dem crackaz just cheat the resultz to make demselves look bettah! Sheeeeeiiiiiiittt!

 

[VicSage]

That would explain why he believed himself to be a god.