"Woke" Franchises

[Bassoe]

A few more classic examples of batshit insane wokeness:

I'm Not Dying with You Tonight by Gilly Segal and Kimberly Jones.
A survival thriller set during a Fiery But Mostly Peaceful Protest™. Which somehow attempts to portray the angry mob burning down the store owned by one of the two protagonist's parents, leading to their life savings and daughter's collage fund being spent on rebuilding as A Good Thing™.

Slay by Brittney Morris.
Imagine the tumblr grievance brigade wrote Ready Player One and somehow inexplicably managed to make it even worse. The villain's sinister scheme is to get an account on the blacks-only online game (prospective players have to submit a picture of themselves) despite being white. The titular in-universe Slay videogame would probably also qualify for this thread, if it actually existed.

The Power by Naomi Alderman.
Women spontaneously start developing Hunter's and Sach's organs, allowing them to electrify themselves. Stereotyped Evil MRA™ baddies claim this will lead to a dystopian matriarchy where superpowered warlords go palpatine on their enemies. Which actually turns out to be essentially how the book ends.

Witch Girl Adventures.
Basically this SMBC expanded into an entire tabletop game. It's actually a terrifying speculative commentary about the dangers of power, and the inherent barbarism of children. The moral of this game is that those with power are free to do as they please, and sadistic murder, brainwashing and I-must-scream-ification is acceptable vengeance for any slight, no matter how petty or minor. But gurl power™ which makes it alright. That said, it's great inspiration for my next Hunter: The Vigil game.

be nice or be a toad

"Afternoon, everyone. Have a seat. Get a cup of coffee and a muffin. Also, a reminder: the Seminar Rooms are a weapons-free zone. Please make sure you've surrendered your weapons at the reception desk. I know, it's bullshit, but the last thing I need is an O5 complaining because one of you was walking around the Blue Zones with your piece. Everyone good? Cool."

"Today's seminar is about a subject near and dear to my heart: Reality Benders. Type Greens. Mary Sues. Bixbies, Shapers, Wizards, Gods, Devils, Outside Observers, call them what you will, these are the guys that change reality based on perception and willpower. I've made a career out of both containing and killing these guys. You're here to get certified to do the same thing."

"Want to know my secret? We'll get to that later. First of all, I want you to take a look at the doors to the seminar room. Notice something about them? Look again. What doors?"

"Yes. The doors are gone. Take a closer look if you want. Touch them. They're not there. The doors have literally disappeared. But that's okay, right? You can still get out the windows if you want. Except there's one small problem. There aren't any windows in this room either, are there? All the windows are gone. There's nothing but four blank walls, a ceiling, and a floor. No way out. But how did you get in?"

"Starting to freak out a bit? Don't worry, just take a deep breath. You're going to be all right. Just a bit of a change to the way the room's set up. It's not like anything worse is happening. I mean, it could be worse, right? At least you're safe in here. It's not like the desks are coming alive to kill you now, is it? Oh wait, yes they are. The FUCKING DESKS ARE GOING TO KILL YOU."

"What you gonna do? HOW YOU GONNA SURVIVE? THE GODDAMN ROOM IS ALIVE AND GOING TO EAT YOU. WATCH FOR THOSE FUCKING DESKS, THEY'VE GOT TEETH. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THERE, NOW. YOU WANNA LIVE? YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT! DON'T TRY TO DENY IT, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, THIS IS REAL. THIS IS HAPPENING. THIS IS A REALITY BEND, AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE UNLESS YOU CAN FIGHT IT NOW!"

"Oh, I see, a real TOUGH guy, huh? What the fuck are you gonna do with that 9mm? That gun really going to do anything? Against a REALITY BENDER!? I can turn your goddamn bullets into sand. I can turn your eyes into jello. I can turn your GUN into a fucking BAGEL, now PUT THAT DAMN GUN DOWN AND LIE THE FUCK DOWN ON THE GROUND, YOU FUCKNUGGET. I AM A LIVING GOD, AND YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A FUCKING INSECT!"

"What do I want? WHAT DO I WANT!? What the shit do I need from a fucking turd like you? I don't want ANYTHING that you can give me except to be my plaything. And that's ALL you fuckers are gonna be! You're gonna be nothing but toys in front of this God-King for all eternity. There is NO escape, NO respite. You will LIVE when I say LIVE, you will DIE only if I allow it. There is NOTHING LEFT BUT MY IMAGINATION, and you are all FIGMENTS OF IT!!!"

"…"

"… all right, hit the lights. Everyone breathe in and out, deep. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out… you feeling better now? Let me tell you what just happened."

"Each and every one of you has just had a bad trip. All of the food on that back table was laced with a powerful hallucinogen. It's my own personal recipe. In addition to hallucinations, it renders one very susceptible to suggestion. Combined with some simple hypnosis and some special effects trickery, the end result is as close as we can get to showing you what a Reality Bender's attack feels like. The support staff are pumping an aerosolized counteragent into the air vents as we speak. It's going to feel like shit in a moment. You'll find barf bags under your chairs. Take a moment to let it all out."

"I want you to reflect back on that moment when you realized what was happening. Do you remember that feeling of helplessness? Do you remember what it felt like to realize that reality no longer existed, and you were nothing but toys for a hostile will that controlled EVERYTHING?"

"Remember that. And hold onto it the first time you're about to go up against a Reality Bender. If you ever think that, maybe, you can contain them? Or maybe they can be reasoned with? Remember what it felt like when you were tripping balls and nothing was real."

"Then kill that motherfucker before he knows you're even there."

"You're all certified now. Class Dismissed."

 

[Husky_Khan]

Ah excellent, another rebooted series no one actually asked for.

Elizabeth Banks Is Creating An Adult Sequel Series For The Flintstones, It Already Sounds Terrible

Elizabeth Banks, the director of the failed Charlie's Angels reboot who blamed men for the film's failure, is apparently working on an adult themed sequel series to the Hanna-Barbera classic, The Flintstones.

boundingintocomics.com

Good bye The Flintstones.

 

[Culsu]

Elizabeth Banks? That anyone gives her some form of creative control after Charlie's Angels is proof the entertainment industry is run by idiots...

 

[Doomsought]

That anyone gives her some form of creative control after Charlie's Angels is proof the entertainment industry is run by idiots...

That or Pedophiles and the blackmail has come back to haunt them.

 

[Terthna]

That or Pedophiles and the blackmail has come back to haunt them.

Add to that the fact that Elizabeth Banks was involved with the The Hunger Games movies, and you get a decent picture of why she's still getting work. I mean, so long as you have a previous successful project you can point to, Hollywood will keep backing you even as you make absolute trash for decades, on the hope that you'll pull something profitable out of your butt eventually; just look at M. Night Shyamalan.

 

[Husky_Khan]

SNL cast members who object to Elon Musk being the guest host on Saturday Night Live thankfully won't be forced to perform alongside him.

‘SNL’ cast members who object to Elon Musk won’t be forced to appear on show with him

“Speaking historically, if a cast member has been that unhappy, they don’t have to do it.”

thehill.com

SNL cast members Aidy Bryant (she's the portly lady on the show) and Bowen Yang have issued tweets critical of Elon Musk since the announcement was made that he would be guest hosting SNL. However no SNL cast members have pulled out of the show as of yet.

Also Miley Cyrus, the musical guest on the show, has faced online criticism for being on the show with Elon, claiming that Elon Musk hates women and is destroying the planet or some nonsense, as detailed in a Page Six story.

Miley Cyrus slammed for online banter with Elon Musk ahead of their 'SNL' appearances

Miley Cyrus is taking heat for her upcoming "Saturday Night Live" appearance with Elon Musk.

www.foxnews.com

 

[Bassoe]

Two more...

We Are Watching Eliza Bright by A.E. Osworth.

Eliza Bright was living the dream as an elite video game coder at Fancy Dog Games when her private life suddenly became public. But is Eliza Bright a brilliant, self-taught coder bravely calling out the toxic masculinity and chauvinism that pervades her workplace and industry? Or, is Eliza Bright a woman who needs to be destroyed to protect "the sanctity of gaming culture"? It depends on who you ask...

When Eliza reports an incident of workplace harassment that is quickly dismissed, she's forced to take her frustrations to a journalist who blasts her story across the Internet. She's fired and doxed, and becomes a rallying figure for women across America. But she's also enraged the beast that is male gamers on 4Chan and Reddit, whose collective, unreliable voice narrates our story. Soon Eliza is in the cross-hairs of the gaming community, threatened and stalked as they monitor her every move online and across New York City.

As the violent power of an angry male collective descends upon everyone in Eliza's life, it becomes increasingly difficult to know who to trust, even when she's eventually taken in and protected by an under-the-radar Collective known as the Sixsterhood. The violence moves from cyberspace to the real world, as a vicious male super-fan known only as The Ghost is determined to exact his revenge on behalf of men everywhere. We watch alongside the Sixsterhood and subreddit incels as this dramatic cat-and-mouse game plays out to reach its violent and inevitable conclusion.

This is an extraordinary, unputdownable novel that explores the dark recesses of the Internet and male rage, and the fragile line between the online world and real life. It's a thrilling story of female resilience and survival, packed with a powerful feminist message.

Black Canary: Breaking Silence by Alexandra Monir.
Have you ever read Handmaiden's Tale and thought 'this would be perfect if only it was a capeshit tie-in'? Me neither, but apparently someone at DC comics with the authority to greenlight novels did.

 

[Bassoe]

Charged Stars.

Kickstarter Page
Setting Google Docs
Quickstart Sourcebook

AKA, 'we saw this comic and decided to make an entire RPG playing it entirely straight.

We really need a word for people who are basically traitors but don't have an enemy to defect to.

The aliens conquered humanity for insufficient wokeness, rewrote our history and imposed a totalitarian regime led by Friend Computer The Mother Of Steel since they recognized that it'd make humans less likely to rebel and less effective if they did. You play as the regime's quisling enforcers oppressing human freedom fighters.

No, seriously.

 

[BlackDragon98]

Charged Stars.

Kickstarter Page
Setting Google Docs
Quickstart Sourcebook

AKA, 'we saw this comic and decided to make an entire RPG playing it entirely straight.


The aliens conquered humanity for insufficient wokeness, rewrote our history and imposed a totalitarian regime led by Friend Computer The Mother Of Steel since they recognized that it'd make humans less likely to rebel and less effective if they did. You play as the regime's quisling enforcers oppressing human freedom fighters.

No, seriously.

Sounds like a hella woke version of that TV show Colony.

 

[Urabrask Revealed]

Charged Stars.

Kickstarter Page
Setting Google Docs
Quickstart Sourcebook

AKA, 'we saw this comic and decided to make an entire RPG playing it entirely straight.


The aliens conquered humanity for insufficient wokeness, rewrote our history and imposed a totalitarian regime led by Friend Computer The Mother Of Steel since they recognized that it'd make humans less likely to rebel and less effective if they did. You play as the regime's quisling enforcers oppressing human freedom fighters.

No, seriously.

Jay-sus Christ, this setting deserves a thorough genocide carried out by the Imperium of Man.

 

[Navarro]

Charged Stars.

Kickstarter Page
Setting Google Docs
Quickstart Sourcebook

AKA, 'we saw this comic and decided to make an entire RPG playing it entirely straight.


The aliens conquered humanity for insufficient wokeness, rewrote our history and imposed a totalitarian regime led by Friend Computer The Mother Of Steel since they recognized that it'd make humans less likely to rebel and less effective if they did. You play as the regime's quisling enforcers oppressing human freedom fighters.

No, seriously.

Speaking of RPG settings, there's this:

Red Planet • A World of Adventure for Fate Core by evilhat

Join the Martian Union of Materialist Republics today!

evilhat.itch.io

i.e. "you play as Martian communists, only they call it 'progressive materialism', i.e. communism except it works in some inexplicable way".

 

[Typhonis]

Feel free to laugh.

 

[Darmani]

Charged Stars.

Kickstarter Page
Setting Google Docs
Quickstart Sourcebook

AKA, 'we saw this comic and decided to make an entire RPG playing it entirely straight.


The aliens conquered humanity for insufficient wokeness, rewrote our history and imposed a totalitarian regime led by Friend Computer The Mother Of Steel since they recognized that it'd make humans less likely to rebel and less effective if they did. You play as the regime's quisling enforcers oppressing human freedom fighters.

No, seriously.

Hey this is pretty much the Tom Ceuise astronaut clone movie or the matrix only the agents recruit humans...okay So the matrix

But still basic idea of aliens ssubvertingOur factionalism and love of righteous violence so there is no plucky good guy faction is fine

Like she ra if the rebellion Was more nomstate

 

[LindyAF]

Charged Stars.

Kickstarter Page
Setting Google Docs
Quickstart Sourcebook

One thing I think is notable here is how they make one of the pro-Human factions somehow based on human defectors during the war. This doesn't make any sense, really - pro-Humans wouldn't trust or work with those who defected in the war, especially ones whose defection was strategically significant to the Empire's defeat. And defectors would be likely to be rewarded for bringing about the Empire's defeat by their alien rulers, and so have their standing depend on their favor, so they would be pretty unlikely to be the first to act against them?

I always think it'd be fun to play one of these setting as the faction painted as the "bad guy" that I know is intended to map to people like us. Always thought it'd be neat to play a Humanis Shadowrun game, for instance.

 

[LindyAF]

Hmmmm, worldbuilding idea, Changed Stars + added Pro-Human Space Pirate / Terrorist Faction (Specters of the Empire) or Last Bastion holdout world (The Citadel) then...

Let's be xenophobic.

Mostly cause the existing "human supremacist" factions are kinda underwhelming really. Could be like a fun quest or something.

 

[Bassoe]

I Care A Lot
Sociopathic con artist charecter Marla (the protagonist) uses a compromised, corrupt doctor to lie about their patients mental state to convince the court that her elderly patients are mentally unstable so she can become their legal guardian, stuff them in the cheapest retirement homes possible and take all their estate profits and as much of the money for keeping them alive as she can embezzle. Unfortunately for her, she tries this trick on what turns out to be the mother of a russian mob boss. Then we get hit pieces treating her as an inspirational Gurlboss™ and complaining about the disturbing symbolism of a man wearing a red baseball cap murdering a successful businesswoman.

 

[BlackDragon98]

I Care A Lot
Sociopathic con artist charecter Marla (the protagonist) uses a compromised, corrupt doctor to lie about their patients mental state to convince the court that her elderly patients are mentally unstable so she can become their legal guardian, stuff them in the cheapest retirement homes possible and take all their estate profits and as much of the money for keeping them alive as she can embezzle. Unfortunately for her, she tries this trick on what turns out to be the mother of a russian mob boss. Then we get hit pieces treating her as an inspirational Gurlboss™ and complaining about the disturbing symbolism of a man wearing a red baseball cap murdering a successful businesswoman.

Reminds me of that godawful Darth Vader comic with the psycho stalker nurse.
Vader yeeted her with a single lightsaber stroke and the woke were complaining like hell how "oh she just loves him" and that shit
Yeah, but he's also Darth Vader. Vader loved no one but Padme and she's lost and gone forever.

 

[Doomsought]

I Care A Lot
Sociopathic con artist charecter Marla (the protagonist) uses a compromised, corrupt doctor to lie about their patients mental state to convince the court that her elderly patients are mentally unstable so she can become their legal guardian, stuff them in the cheapest retirement homes possible and take all their estate profits and as much of the money for keeping them alive as she can embezzle. Unfortunately for her, she tries this trick on what turns out to be the mother of a russian mob boss. Then we get hit pieces treating her as an inspirational Gurlboss™ and complaining about the disturbing symbolism of a man wearing a red baseball cap murdering a successful businesswoman.

If that is what a successful woman looks like, then Islam is right about women.

 

[Terthna]

I Care A Lot
Sociopathic con artist charecter Marla (the protagonist) uses a compromised, corrupt doctor to lie about their patients mental state to convince the court that her elderly patients are mentally unstable so she can become their legal guardian, stuff them in the cheapest retirement homes possible and take all their estate profits and as much of the money for keeping them alive as she can embezzle. Unfortunately for her, she tries this trick on what turns out to be the mother of a russian mob boss. Then we get hit pieces treating her as an inspirational Gurlboss™ and complaining about the disturbing symbolism of a man wearing a red baseball cap murdering a successful businesswoman.

For an activist, everything has to fit the narrative they ascribe to; no matter how much they have to distort the truth in order to get it to do so.

 

[Captain X]

Really it just comes down to the fact something bad happened to a woman, an since by their logic, one woman represents all women, this represents and attack on all women, and the context of it being a bad guy doesn't matter - the fact it was portrayed at all means that the author hates women and wishes for harm to come to them. Plus, how very dare the author not just give the woman what she wanted?