You have to socialize your child early, really hammer in both its gender identity and its moral system too, preferably before the age of four. If you want to reinforce something you should provide, if you want to discourage something you should deprive both the child and yourself.
Punishing only the child will simply create resentment, punishing yourself along with the child will create a camaraderie and will add a psychological dimension to the negative reinforcement.
Most of these people weren't born this way, they just weren't socialized properly at a young enough age. If your child shows warning signs, you should correct it with behavioural therapy and operant conditioning.
When it comes to negative reinforcement or punishment, you should always share in the punishment, i.e if you punish your child you should simultaneously punish yourself. Humans are empathic creatures and sharing in suffering is better, if only one party is suffering it'll only create bitterness and resentment.
Positive reinforcement is simpler, just reinforce the desired behaviour by rewarding it quickly.