So, since I made Shampoo Yang and Ruby's aunt, it seems logical to have their grandmother on Taiyang's side be based on another Chinese badass. So I pick the landlady from
Kung Fu Hustle:
That said, she's got a fair amount of Cologne's influence in her.
Granny Long looks over the boys of Beacon.
Cardin: "Who brought the old hag?"
Granny Long:
WHAM
Cardin: "URK!"
Jaune: "I'm the first to admit I'm not at all worldly, and I still know the rule about acting incautiously when confronting smiling older ladies."
Granny Long: "I looked like Little Yang until I was eighty, you sassy little thing!"
Cardin: "And how many centuries ago was that?"
Granny Long: (
WHAM) "Two." (
WHAM) "For flinching."
Cardin: "URK!"
Later...
Granny Long:
looking at Ren and Jaune "Orphan boy, wish I'd found you sooner. You'd have been great grandson-in-law and student!"
Ren: "Thank you?"
Granny Long:
looks at Jaune "You powerful, full of potential, and dumb! Perfect grandson-in-law material!"
Jaune: "No I'm... Isn't!"
Granny Long: "Granddaughters! You can date these two! Get on with it, Yang, make me great-grandchildren!"
Yang: "I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!"
Granny Long: "You not thinking of Kitty Brat, are you?"
Yang: "What, no! I've have to get my arm cut off to think about dating Blake!"
Jaune: "I... Is that a sex thing or... What?"
Granny Long: "Good! Got two choices for grandson-in-law!"
Yang: "I'm just not interested in that, Granny!"
Granny Long: "When you be interested? When you too old to attract anyone?"
Yang: "I'M EIGHTEEN!"
Granny Long: "Would be old maid in my day! Had ten boys fighting for me when I was your age!"
Yang: "I mean I want to see the world, have adventures-"
Granny Long: "Had adventures while married and pregnant too! Beat up warlord and his tribe while your auntie was in me!"
Yang: "Is that why she talks like that-"
WHAM "OW!"
Granny Long: "No, her husband just think she cute like that. Don't be rude!"
Yang: "I'm not getting married just because you're being pushy!"
Granny Long: "You wanna end up like Goodwitch?"
Yang: "What, a total badass?"
Granny Long: "She lives in tiny apartment. Has cat. Sometimes accidentally eats cat food when she's all alone!"
Goodwitch: "How did you-I DID NOT! THAT'S RIDICULOUS!"
Yang: "I... Seriously? Wow. Still not gonna get married when I'm barely EIGHTEEN!"
Granny Long: "Fine! Ruby! You be good granddaughter and date blond idiot!"
Ruby: "Okay!"
Yang: "GRANNY!"
Granny Long: "Fine, you date blond idiot. I'll see if I can find someone suitable for her. You might have to share."
Yang: "SERIOUSLY?!"
Granny Long: "This Jaune-boy is one of only two respectful males in this heap of rubble. You don't want him, not gonna let Ruby miss out. You can have Quiet Polite One!"
Nora: "NOBODY'S TAKING REN FROM ME!"
Manic, holding up her hammer as lightning crackles around her
Granny Long: "Oh really? You kill for him?"
Nora: "I'LL SLAUGHTER ENTIRE VILLAGES FOR HIM!"
Huffs huffs "I'LL BATHE IN THEIR BLOOD, STARTING WITH YOU! I'LL PUT IT ALL IN A BIG FUCKING TUB!"
Granny Long: "You orphan?"
Nora: "YES!"
Granny Long: "Not anymore! Welcome to family! You adopted now!"
Nora: "WOOHOO! GRANNY!"
Granny Long:
hugs her "Granddaughter!"
Yang, Ren, Jaune, and Ruby: "What."
Granny Long: "I like her spunk!"