They can do what they want and consider themselves whatever they want, I'm even willing to use their preferred pronouns and everything and treat them fully like the gender they prefer.
Things I would never compromise on though:
1) I'm never going to be attracted to a trans person, no matter how passing she is. The mere knowledge that a sexual partner has a Y chromosome is revolting to me.
2) I will never agree to stop assuming people's gender and pronouns based on their appearance. You want me to use your pronouns? Tell me so. I will never ask random people what are their pronouns without indication from them that they use something nonstandard, I will never agree that asking people's pronouns (rather than telling them) should become the new social norm.
3) I will never agree that people who believe gender dysphoria should not be treated by sex reassignment should be severely punished by harassment, death threats, beatings and losing their jobs. Even outright open transphobes can simply be shunned, there's no need to be violent or target their livelihood as long as they aren't violent or advocating for violence against trans people.
4) I will never, ever, ever, agree for children under 18 to go through any form of sex reassignment medication or surgery. Ever.
5) I will agree to putting unisex toilets in addition to existing ones, if trans people would only use them. The potential for fake trans using toilets to harass people is too great for any other solution to be viable. Mr. Molester can just put on a wig, claim he's trans and voila, free access to female toilets, where he can peep on underage girls and such all day long.
6) No MtF trans in any women's sports period.
7) No Jessica Yaniv style crap, if you have a cock and balls you don't go to a gynecologist, no matter how much of a woman you believe you are. You're also not entitled to getting your balls waxed.
If the trans community can compromise and agree on all these points, then great. If they think I a transphobe because of these points, then great, I'll be a transphobe then but I'm not budging.