I tend to think of myself as a tribal warrior, with a begrudging critical respect for empires and nation-states, because only the dishonest deny their inherently primal human tendency toward tribalism and territorialism. It's normal and healthy to love and defend your country and home.
Leftists and neoliberals are a unique brain-damage of the normal thinking human, one far-left and the other far-right, one representing community over individual and the other individual over community. Both horseshoe extremes of the same mental illness.
I see this sort of thing as needing sane balance, while bad things happen when people go to idiotic extremes.
It is natural, and normal, to personally care more about one's own close family, one's own faith community, one's own fellow-countrymen, than about complete strangers on the other side of the world.
Which is to say: it is normal to care more about people you actually see and interact with in real life than about people who are just words.
Take that basic natural care-for-one's-family instinct and turn it into an
ideology, and you get something toxic, something akin to the collective mindset of some Stone-Age tribe in a jungle that regards only members of said tribe as actual people, and all outsiders as enemies to be killed and eaten.
Go the other direction? Where you go is to "I don't value my own children any more than I value the rest of humanity! Why aren't we all sending all our wealth to feed the starving children in (insert place most people could not find on the map)? How can you be so selfish as to want a roof over your own head!"
No, such people do not really care about "all humanity". Each such person is an ingroup of one. They are simply taking their own lack of natural humanity, and pretending it's a virtue.
And of course we get the people who preach universal love of humanity at you, while themselves being totally on the side of their own group - what's theirs is theirs - and what is yours should also be theirs. Gib!
So - sanity. Everyone loves their own children more than other people's children. If you don't, there is something badly wrong with you. But everyone should accept that other people have just as much right to love their children as you have to love yours.