If divorce laws were not as horrible as they were Robbin Williams wouldn't have killed himself.
Why get married
- Thread starter Stargazer
- Start date
If divorce laws were not as horrible as they were Robbin Williams wouldn't have killed himself.
No you don't get it, just roll the dice a thousand times and pray that you never roll a 1!
Well you didn't push back on it a couple pages ago. In any case, I don't know your life so I can't speak directly to it. You could be truthful, you could be in denial. But I know what a man's purpose is and what is good for a man. That's what much of my argument (that you just ignored) is based on. I'm just giving you a warning, and telling you there's a better path for yourself.
What an idiotic thing to say. And what does that have to do with anything I've said?
You're asking what has divorce got to do with marriage???
I wasn't talking about marriage or divorce in the post @Cherico replied to. I addressed divorce at the very start of the thread, and if any of you want to engage with what I said there, that would be great! But for where the flow of the discussion is currently, that was a really incoherent (and idiotic) thing to say.
Cherico's point is that if a great comedian like Robbin Williams can get snubbed by women, the layman stands no chance. :V
That is not what he said. But to your point, I never said fame and success are factors that protect against failed relationships and divorce. It would be foolish to think that they do protect against divorce, or should. Celebrities getting divorced is a sign that they did something wrong, not that there's something wrong with marriage or that divorce is inevitable for the common person. Does not follow.
Nothing is inherently wrong with marriage.
But modern marriages+modern women makes it too risky. Certainly a lot of men have happy lives married to their wives.
But for the love of god learn what risk assessment and risk management strategies are, if something has even the tiniest chance of causing irreversible harm, KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR IT.
If the penalty to a fucked up bitchy wife or marriage was a slap on the wrist, people would be trying daily. But all it takes is that one bitchy karen of a woman to yell 'rape' because you asked her out, and there goes your life. All it takes is one bitchy hoe thinking 'huh maybe Chad's dick is bigger, bye bye hubby lets get divorced' to take half your shit and more.
You don't have to approve of that line of thinking, but at the very least you could comprehend it. I comprehend your arguments even if I disagree with them.
Yeah I get it, a lot of men are a bit cowardly and don't know where to find a good trustworthy wife. As if that's somehow their problem for daring to be born with a rod between their legs instead of being born on 'tutorial mode'. Sure not every woman is not actually a 'soulless vapid automaton', but there's a reason we use generalizations for a larger group, because otherwise you cannot say ANYTHING ABOUT THEM REASONABLY
But modern marriages+modern women makes it too risky. Certainly a lot of men have happy lives married to their wives.
But for the love of god learn what risk assessment and risk management strategies are, if something has even the tiniest chance of causing irreversible harm, KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR IT.
If the penalty to a fucked up bitchy wife or marriage was a slap on the wrist, people would be trying daily. But all it takes is that one bitchy karen of a woman to yell 'rape' because you asked her out, and there goes your life. All it takes is one bitchy hoe thinking 'huh maybe Chad's dick is bigger, bye bye hubby lets get divorced' to take half your shit and more.
You don't have to approve of that line of thinking, but at the very least you could comprehend it. I comprehend your arguments even if I disagree with them.
Yeah I get it, a lot of men are a bit cowardly and don't know where to find a good trustworthy wife. As if that's somehow their problem for daring to be born with a rod between their legs instead of being born on 'tutorial mode'. Sure not every woman is not actually a 'soulless vapid automaton', but there's a reason we use generalizations for a larger group, because otherwise you cannot say ANYTHING ABOUT THEM REASONABLY
You really can't come in here, completely ignore my OP, question the sanity of anyone who would disagree with you, then act like I'm the one not comprehending your argument.
I acknowledged there are risks to marriage. I offered a basic strategy for managing the risk of divorce. I said you should be very careful about who you marry.
I never said men are "cowardly". My point is that there are good women out there who are not going to behave in the way you described, they're not impossible to find, and there are places men can go and things they can do to find such women with a high degree of reliability. My observation is that men who complain about "modern women" often are not the kind of men who would go to those places and be attractive to good women in the first place. They could change and improve themselves, but they're more interested in bashing women and making excuses. Yes modern society is terrible, yes there are a lot of bad women out there. To use that as an excuse to refuse to look inwardly, consider how you're contributing to the problem, and change things about yourself to improve your situation - that's not cowardly. It's arrogant, if anything.
So no, I really don't think you comprehend my arguments very well at all.
LordsFire
Internet Wizard
Stargazer fairly clearly understands your line of thinking, that's not the problem here.
The problem here, is that you are not understanding his.
If you're 'rolling the dice a thousand times,' you are not looking for a good woman, you're playing games in the depraved end of the dating pool.
I didn't get married until I was thirty-six. I started dating, with the specific goal of finding a marriagable woman, when I was in High School. Over the course of 20 years, I had relationships with eight women, none of whom I slept with, until my wife after I married her.
It took me twenty years, but I did find a good woman, one who treats me with respect, and subscribes to the same higher values that I do.
Every single woman that I dated, I met through a church, or a Christian organization. While they all had issues, none of them tried to screw me over with rape accusations or other nonsense.
Depending on how you're counting, I either rolled the dice eight times, or I rolled them once. And because I was careful about which dice I rolled, through the process of exercising good judgement, the worst I had to suffer was some heartbreak in a break-up.
If you lack good judgement, you will find yourself screwed over at every turn, and not just in romance. It is very true that in the current cultural and legal environment, women have a disproportionate ability to screw men over with divorce, accusations of assault or harassment, etc. This is something to push back against culturally and politically, but waiting the years and decades it will take for significant progress is a great way to screw yourself over.
Don't go looking for good women in bad places. Don't go looking for good women in places that have a pretense of being good, but are actually void of substance. Learn to tell the difference between such places.
Giving up preemptively is a clear sign of poor judgement, especially with something as important as romance, forming a family, and having children. I don't know how old you are, but having no family as you go into your declining years is an excellent way to end up lonely and miserable.
LordsFire
Internet Wizard
When it comes to such women, it is far better for men to let them sabotage themselves, than cater to their shallow whims and abase themselves trying to reach unrealistic standards.
Don't chase after shallow women. It perpetuates the problem, by rewarding them for being shallow.
Where are you finding women with such expectations? Are you speaking on this from experience, or are you just going off on what you see on ragebait podcasts?
One interesting thing was brought up in that Lotus Eaters video, which I had also heard recently in Chris Williamson's interview with Louise Perry (and the guy on Lotus Eaters mentioned Louise Perry, so he may have seen the same interview). That is: the idea of going to bars, parties, clubs, etc to meet complete strangers in the hopes of finding a romantic partner is a very new development, historically. Before the so-called "Sexual Revolution", how did people find a partner? It was often sort of arranged. Not necessarily full on betrothal, but you were introduced through your family, or church, or other close community. Potential partners were already "vetted" by your family or your community.
Online dating gets ragged on a lot, and for good reason. But the whole bar and club scene is fundamentally flawed too. It's built on the modern lie that sex should be easy and casual, a matter of instant gratification. But it is a lie, and when men men find that out and can't get that instant gratification, they understandably feel cheated. When they can't find a good partner through that, they get mad at the women. But to a large degree it does come down to where you're looking.
The real red pill is realizing that the Sexual Revolution was a lie, and the path to long term happiness and fulfillment in a relationship is through meeting someone in a community with shared moral values and beliefs. And not following society's standards of quickly jumping in bed and moving in together before getting married.
TheRomanSlayer
Kayabangan, Dugo, at Dangal
Trying to find a good, traditional woman with high morals in a place like a church would be an ideal place to start, but the question is, are there more church attendances or are there less these days? Even trying to make friends with the opposite sex in a place like colleges and universities have their own set of pitfalls as well.
The rise and growth of certain YouTube channels like Man Guide and Manosphere Highlights Daily have also explained the sad state of today's dating, and the main reasoning for the rise of the Passport Bros.
The rise and growth of certain YouTube channels like Man Guide and Manosphere Highlights Daily have also explained the sad state of today's dating, and the main reasoning for the rise of the Passport Bros.
"Are there more church attendances"? I'm not really sure what you mean by that or what your point is. Colleges and universities are likely just as bad as the bar or club scene, possibly worse.
YouTube channels channels like that are part of the problem. It's filtered to show you the absolute worst so it gets views. And they likely never bother going places like church or religious organizations in search of women who are themselves looking for healthy, long term relationships. It's all about the casual dating and hookup scene, which no one advocating for marriage would recommend anyways.
LordsFire
Internet Wizard
I'm going to echo this.
Do these Youtube Channels even mention trying to find a woman at a Church, much less explore it in some real depth, or is it just 'The bar/secular dating scene is terrible,' which literally has been the state of things since the sexual revolution began?
The Lotus Eaters video briefly mentioned church, just to write it off as church attendance being "in the toilet". Here's the thing - if you're the kind of man a church woman would find attractive, you would go to church anyways, regardless of general attendance or if there are available women there. The real reason they wrote it off is because neither of them probably go to church or have much interest in going to church on their own. They just can't speak to that social environment.
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We have had a religious revival in awhile but I see one comming soon. Peoples lives are honestly depressing crushing and soul devouringly lonely and empty and religion will likely fill it again soon. Which will be something the current managerial elite will freak out hard about.
AnimalNoodles
Well-known member
you are in the midst of one right now, just mutated away from real religion towards social justice
"Religious revival" is meaningless. Anything can be a religion, and can be very destructive. A revival of Christianity specifically is what is needed.