NEW YORK, NY — Planned Parenthood, in an effort to remain on the cutting edge of progressive language, has announced the new proper term for an unborn baby is "womb colonizer."
"It's a perfect description for those little parasites," said Planned Parenthood spokeswoman Gertrude Mantrap in the press release. "As the authority on procreation and the termination of life, we here at Planned Parenthood will now require everyone to use the new 'womb colonizer' term whenever an unborn blob of cells is referenced. Thank you."
Though the new term is already causing some level of controversy, certain members of the scientific community are in agreement. "It really is an ingenious new title," said renowned science expert Niel deGrasse Tyson. "When you really consider all of the factors at play here, it's evident that these unborn babies really are simply unwelcome foreign invaders within a woman's womb, and should be treated as such. I am a spokesman for science, and I have spoken. For science."