At least the guy tries to please the audience by giving them what they like:
Explosions.
Sure.
Decent looking chicks like Megan Fox.
If masturbation is a priority there are plenty of women you can masturbate to in Abrams movies though.
Mostly faithful and respectful of the canon material from what I've heard.
Sure, but only if you don't include his
Transformers and
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films. And
Pearl Harbor.
Does not cram in politics.
Might be true but
Transformers: Age of Extinction had a thick injection of Sino-ChiCom propaganda in its latter scenes IIRC.
Those make him orders of magnitude better at his job than JJ, who is a low quality plagiarist hack, and Ryan, who is a self obsessed, audience haring moron.
JJ Abrams worst films and projects are nothing compared to Bayformers. Look, if you like Bayformers, that's fine. I notice that none of your criticisms were related to storytelling or characters or whatever even though you've maligned the lack of complex storytelling in science fiction stories before, but while I think the nuTrek stuff is pretty overrated, I think they tell a far more coherent story and have far more interesting characters and narrative going on then the last three Bayformer films and all TMNT films. And probably somehow managed to be more faithful to Trek then Bay was to Transformers and TMNT.
Mission Impossible III, Cloverfield, and
Super 8 were all at least decent flicks and I think
Star Wars: The Force Awakens was decent as well. Plus he did decent in television, even if some of his storytelling was pretentious with the intricate plots and mystery and world building.
With all that said I don't think JJ Abrams is great or anything, but I'd put more faith in him making something competently than Michael Bay unless all you do want is just explosions, bad jokes, terrible jokes and narratives and cooming. In which case, there's a billion dollars worth of juvenile lads who agreed with you clearly.
I'd actually put Zack Snyder above Michael Bay as well. His storytelling is pretty bad as well, especially with original concepts but he's made some serviceable adaptions. And I love his world building attempts and whatnot as well. I think he really has a lot of passion in doing his projects, successes or failures.
I think Michael Bay would be like the perfect Second Unit Director. The one who just directs the explosions and messy CGI fest scenes filled with explosions which you have someone else with a concept of storytelling to actually be the main Director.
So... as to this point... Just to clarify something I'm more confident on now...
...again, I'm honestly tempted to say putting Michael Bay in charge of the Thrawn trilogy would have come out better. Sure, it'd have been horribly panned, our glorious moral guardians ranting and raving about how he'd have saturated the films with gratuitous violence, fanservice*, and shallow action, but come on. Don't tell me I'm not the only one who'd have appreciated the Battles of Sluis Van, Coruscant, Bilbringi, and others with OMFG EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE, plus Mara Jade pulling off prequel trilogy-tier acrobatics while fighting Luuke, among other wasted potentials.
You don't want Michael Bay to direct a Thrawn trilogy movie. If you didn't like how Thrawn was portrayed in
Rebels or
Ahsoka you can just imagine how he'll be portrayed in a Michael Bay directed trilogy.
Han Solo and Lando will be making blue balls jokes every ten minutes while Thrawn impotently copes and seethes. Chewbacca will make chimpanzee sounds for no reason. Thrawn will state Ackbar will look good wrapped in some seaweed and wasabi. The Katana fleet will be actually flying swords that impale people. Pellaeon will be having a dream where he's wading through water when he suddenly wakes up and realizes he wet himself because a Clawbird snuck into his tent and settled on his lap. The Noghri Khabarakh will be humbled by Leia-Lady Vader but only be truly won over by secretly sniffing her panties. Jorus C'boath will be initially found in a bathrobe and wearing womens lingerie for no reason and rambling about Mynocs not being real and every tree having a listening device in it. Talon Karrde will be living in some jungle shack when he's visited by Thrawn who will throw a bucket of water on him upon finding him sleeping on a pile of hay cuddling a Ysalamiri and when Pelleaon says he stinks even more, Talon Karrde will be like that was my piss and spit bucket. HILARIOUS!
Anyways... like I was saying. The ONLY thing Michael Bay should direct in the Thrawn Trilogy is the Battles... not one nanosecond more.
