Babylon Bee creators give up after being outperformed by clown world and open a news site

Pocky Balboa

Pocky Balboa

Well-known member
When the world is outdoing your satire, you might as well bow to the inevitable and make a news site, no? The creators of Babylon Bee and Disrn have set up Not the Bee. In their own words:

Not the Bee is a humor-based news, opinion, and entertainment site from the creators of The Babylon Bee and Disrn. Like the name suggests, it'll feature some absurd and hilarious (but real) news that seems like it should definitely be satire.
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Hmmm, let's see what we've got on there...

Religion professor says if he could go back in time he would "assassinate Jesus," apparently forgetting some people tried that already

In bid to continue winning hearts and minds, BLM activists storm and trash restaurant while people are eating dinner

Hair salon forced to remove job ad because it said they're looking for a "happy, friendly stylist" and that's "discriminatory" against unhappy people

Yup, it's the latest events on clown world.🤡 Welcome,
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Pocky Balboa said:
For shame, Babylon Bee, you guys need to keep straight what content goes on which your sites!



Damnation, the clowns really are trying to outdo them. 😂 :ROFLMAO:
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Wait, they still care about COVID-19 when their politicians, celebrities and "protestors" get to go around being extremely near each other and shouting and letting their spit hit each other?
 
Pocky Balboa said:
Religion professor says if he could go back in time he would "assassinate Jesus," apparently forgetting some people tried that already
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Love this one. I really wonder what the religious professor thought he was going to do. Jesus was a carpenter in a time when that meant not only building but going out to fell your own trees and hew your own lumber from them. So Jesus was basically a highly skilled lumberjack (who was the breadwinner for his family, there's significant evidence Joseph was dead by the time he began his ministry). Jesus was almost certainly built like a tank compared to modern men.

Additionally Peter was so strong that at Luke 5:7 we see him pulling in a net of fish so large the net tears and then the boat begins to sink from it, and then a second boat begins to sink when they call it over to help. Think about what Peter's biceps must have been like for him to lift that kind of weight.

If the Apostles were available today Peter would not be cast as the Hulk only because modern audiences would find his muscles too over the top to be the Hulk. And there's 10 more guys like him on standby before you get to fight Jesus.
 
Bear Ribs said:
Love this one. I really wonder what the religious professor thought he was going to do. Jesus was a carpenter in a time when that meant not only building but going out to fell your own trees and hew your own lumber from them. So Jesus was basically a highly skilled lumberjack (who was the breadwinner for his family, there's significant evidence Joseph was dead by the time he began his ministry). Jesus was almost certainly built like a tank compared to modern men.

Additionally Peter was so strong that at Luke 5:7 we see him pulling in a net of fish so large the net tears and then the boat begins to sink from it, and then a second boat begins to sink when they call it over to help. Think about what Peter's biceps must have been like for him to lift that kind of weight.

If the Apostles were available today Peter would not be cast as the Hulk only because modern audiences would find his muscles too over the top to be the Hulk. And there's 10 more guys like him on standby before you get to fight Jesus.
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I remember watching a movie wherein the Apostles actually started beating off the Romans sent to arrest Jesus

They were described as wildmen or something

Not sure what “martial arts” Ancient Israel had, I doubt it was Krav Maga
 
Bear Ribs said:
Love this one. I really wonder what the religious professor thought he was going to do. Jesus was a carpenter in a time when that meant not only building but going out to fell your own trees and hew your own lumber from them. So Jesus was basically a highly skilled lumberjack (who was the breadwinner for his family, there's significant evidence Joseph was dead by the time he began his ministry). Jesus was almost certainly built like a tank compared to modern men.

Additionally Peter was so strong that at Luke 5:7 we see him pulling in a net of fish so large the net tears and then the boat begins to sink from it, and then a second boat begins to sink when they call it over to help. Think about what Peter's biceps must have been like for him to lift that kind of weight.

If the Apostles were available today Peter would not be cast as the Hulk only because modern audiences would find his muscles too over the top to be the Hulk. And there's 10 more guys like him on standby before you get to fight Jesus.
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'Jesus and the disciples were ripped' was not the take I was expecting when I opened this thread.
 
LordsFire said:
'Jesus and the disciples were ripped' was not the take I was expecting when I opened this thread.
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Le Shrug. If you look at any people who did hard physical labor for a living in a time before there were machines more complex than the shovel, those people probably had muscles on top of their muscles with muscles in between. That's just how it was when your muscles were what determined if you lived or died. On the flipside most of us probably have better handwriting and speling spelling skills.

Modern bodybuilders or wrestlers might be able to compete but most professors will not.

CarlManvers2019 said:
I remember watching a movie wherein the Apostles actually started beating off the Romans sent to arrest Jesus

They were described as wildmen or something

Not sure what “martial arts” Ancient Israel had, I doubt it was Krav Maga
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Possibly pankration? There were abundant martial arts back then, we just don't know as much about them as many of the western martial arts were lost to time.
 
Bear Ribs said:
Possibly pankration? There were abundant martial arts back then, we just don't know as much about them as many of the western martial arts were lost to time.
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Jesus and the Apostles doing pankration.....there are a bunch of homoerotic themes there

Pocky Balboa said:
Well, in the Nasuverse, at least, it's the Jacob's Limbs school of martial arts/angel wrestling,😅
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You know, I think WWE or Female Wrestler(actors)do wear the sort of stuff this St. Martha does....leotards are nice
 
Bear Ribs said:
Love this one. I really wonder what the religious professor thought he was going to do. Jesus was a carpenter in a time when that meant not only building but going out to fell your own trees and hew your own lumber from them. So Jesus was basically a highly skilled lumberjack (who was the breadwinner for his family, there's significant evidence Joseph was dead by the time he began his ministry). Jesus was almost certainly built like a tank compared to modern men.
Click to expand...

IIRC most don't think Joseph made it to when Jesus was 20. Jesus began his ministry sometime around probably 33 years old (and was crucified at either ~35 or ~38.)
 
ParadiseLost said:
IIRC most don't think Joseph made it to when Jesus was 20. Jesus began his ministry sometime around probably 33 years old (and was crucified at either ~35 or ~38.)
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That's the current best guess. Mary is seen in the bible conducting business and speaking in a way that a devout married Judean woman would not do... unless she had no husband at that point. Additionally one of Jesus' last acts was entrusting John with Mary's care, which he wouldn't have needed to do if Joseph was still alive to handle that.

The figure of 20 years old is based, IIRC, on much more extrapolation that the simpler "Joseph was dead by the time the narrative starts." We know Jospeh was alive when Jesus was 12 but dead by around 32-33, but the date of death isn't certain.
 
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