The Worst Scifi and Fantasy Governmnets

[Bear Ribs]

The Drow. Just... the Drow.

An extremely long-lived species with very low birthrates to match... and a murder rate that makes Chicago look like a hippie commune. Their society revolves around elaborate betrayal games and their entire legal code is basically there just so they can break it for the lulz. This is in the underdark, a hideously dangerous place where everything is out to murder you and the only way to survive is sticking together. On top of that the Drow are hilariously racist and believe they're superior to everybody else, which leads to endless raids and torture fests on their neighbors. This tends to piss said neighbors off enough that basically if a Dwarf, an Orc, and a Drow all meet at the same crossroads, the Dwarf and Orc will likely double-team the Drow. And if it's two Drow there's even money one will kill the other to cover their escape from the Dwarf and Orc.

This is beyond Lolth's extraordinarily stupid personal actions to distablize their society even more, like her carefully nurturing a cult who's only edict is "Find a way to kill Lolth" and giving them her full divine backing for no apparent reason, which generates even more turmoil and internal fail as her own schemes boil over and screw even the Drow who are her most fervent supporters.

Their society is so dysfunctional Lolth has to carefully micromanage every last city. Periodically she has to change up her edicts to make murder actually really illegal backed up by her personal divine retribution in order to stop the murder for a couple of centuries to get all the females pregnant and bearing kids instead of murdering each other. Otherwise, they'd have gone extinct long ago.

 

[Agent23]

The Drow. Just... the Drow.

An extremely long-lived species with very low birthrates to match... and a murder rate that makes Chicago look like a hippie commune. Their society revolves around elaborate betrayal games and their entire legal code is basically there just so they can break it for the lulz. This is in the underdark, a hideously dangerous place where everything is out to murder you and the only way to survive is sticking together. On top of that the Drow are hilariously racist and believe they're superior to everybody else, which leads to endless raids and torture fests on their neighbors. This tends to piss said neighbors off enough that basically if a Dwarf, an Orc, and a Drow all meet at the same crossroads, the Dwarf and Orc will likely double-team the Drow. And if it's two Drow there's even money one will kill the other to cover their escape from the Dwarf and Orc.

This is beyond Lolth's extraordinarily stupid personal actions to distablize their society even more, like her carefully nurturing a cult who's only edict is "Find a way to kill Lolth" and giving them her full divine backing for no apparent reason, which generates even more turmoil and internal fail as her own schemes boil over and screw even the Drow who are her most fervent supporters.

Their society is so dysfunctional Lolth has to carefully micromanage every last city. Periodically she has to change up her edicts to make murder actually really illegal backed up by her personal divine retribution in order to stop the murder for a couple of centuries to get all the females pregnant and bearing kids instead of murdering each other. Otherwise, they'd have gone extinct long ago.

TBH that is more civilization than government, like the Draka, the Klingons or the Nietzscheans from Andromeda.

Anyway, most government bodies in Heinlein's vsrious novels, ranging from whoever ran things in The logic of Empire to the fragmented, corporate controlled governments of Earth in Friday and the American theocracy in If this goes on deserve a mention on this list.

 

[Bear Ribs]

TBH that is more civilization than government, like the Draka, the Klingons or the Nietzscheans from Andromeda.

Anyway, most government bodies in Heinlein's vsrious novels, ranging from whoever ran things in The logic of Empire to the fragmented, corporate controlled governments of Earth in Friday and the American theocracy in If this goes on deserve a mention on this list.

Eh... *handwave* I kinda get where you're coming from but I don't think it's that easy to separate civilization from government. If the Drow government can't keep the murder rate below "We need a straight-up Goddess to micromanage us or we'll murder ourselves into extinction" that's probably not the most effective government in the world.

 

[Carrot of Truth]

That's easy the Interim Coalition of Governance from Xeelee Sequence they are actually worse than 1984's Oceania plus in space and with time travel. So if you commit a "crime" in the future a commisar will execute (abort?) you when you're a baby in the past.

"I have a vision of a Galaxy overrun by mankind from Core to Rim. Of four hundred billion stars each enslaved to the rhythms of Earth’s day, Earth’s year. I have a vision of a trillion planets pulsing to the beat of a human heart."

"And I have a vision of a child. Who will grow up knowing neither family nor comfort. Who will not be distracted by the illusion of a long life. Who will know nothing but honor and duty. Who will die joyously for the sake of mankind."

"That is a hero. And I will never know her name."

"Always remember: a brief life burns brightly."
— Hama Druz, The Founder of the Interim Coalition of Governance

That speech is about child soldier suicide bombers by the way.

 

[Agent23]

That's easy the Interim Coalition of Governance from Xeelee Sequence they are actually worse than 1984's Oceania plus in space and with time travel. So if you commit a "crime" in the future a commisar will execute (abort?) you when you're a baby in the past.

"I have a vision of a Galaxy overrun by mankind from Core to Rim. Of four hundred billion stars each enslaved to the rhythms of Earth’s day, Earth’s year. I have a vision of a trillion planets pulsing to the beat of a human heart."

"And I have a vision of a child. Who will grow up knowing neither family nor comfort. Who will not be distracted by the illusion of a long life. Who will know nothing but honor and duty. Who will die joyously for the sake of mankind."

"That is a hero. And I will never know her name."

"Always remember: a brief life burns brightly."
— Hama Druz, The Founder of the Interim Coalition of Governance

That speech is about child soldier suicide bombers by the way.

I am glad I dumped that series early on...
Baxter has talent, but his stuff often turns into a huge slog and his interesting ideas and grand scale get drowned out by incompetence and slog.

I think I'd throw in all of earth's governmnets from Seveneves here as well.

We have to save somebody, so let us save untrained idiot brats addicted to social media with no survival skills or knowledge.

Then again, that book is a nice critique of modern society and some particular political leaders...

 

[Bassoe]

The Drow

They kind of have an excuse insofar as they're defended in competition with any less incompetent civilizations by literal divine intervention and it might just be the ruling classes who act that way.

In other words...

 

[Zyobot]

That's easy the Interim Coalition of Governance from Xeelee Sequence they are actually worse than 1984's Oceania plus in space and with time travel. So if you commit a "crime" in the future a commisar will execute (abort?) you when you're a baby in the past.

"I have a vision of a Galaxy overrun by mankind from Core to Rim. Of four hundred billion stars each enslaved to the rhythms of Earth’s day, Earth’s year. I have a vision of a trillion planets pulsing to the beat of a human heart."

"And I have a vision of a child. Who will grow up knowing neither family nor comfort. Who will not be distracted by the illusion of a long life. Who will know nothing but honor and duty. Who will die joyously for the sake of mankind."

"That is a hero. And I will never know her name."

"Always remember: a brief life burns brightly."
— Hama Druz, The Founder of the Interim Coalition of Governance

That speech is about child soldier suicide bombers by the way.

Don’t think the original page is up anymore, but I once saw the ICG described as the “Space Khmer Rouge” to the IoM’s “Space Nazis” — and the quotes you cite here show precisely why.

 

[What's the sitch?]

I think the Drow also have higher birth rates compared to other "elves". From what I understand a lot of the self murdery stuff happens mostly in Menzoberranzan, the "big city" and as mentioned is mostly just the top houses doing that which we are deliberately shown. There is likely less killing and more just varying levels of "one up manship" for everyone else. It's still horrible of course.

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Lots of vampire "shadow governments" that exist in novels or people/hunters/mages that keep the masquerade up because they think people just wouldn't be able to handle it. They tend to not really make sense especially in the modern world with all our technology, internet and cameras everywhere.

 

[Carrot of Truth]

Don’t think the original page is up anymore, but I once saw the ICG described as the “Space Khmer Rouge” to the IoM’s “Space Nazis” — and the quotes you cite here show precisely why.

ICG is more like if the Imperium of man had all of DAOT humanities technology and a highly centralized Oceania style totalitarian government where they would execute people for """crimes""" they could theoretically commit in the future. One said "crime" was one the soldiers effectively won their "war" against the Xeelee and they didn't want that because they wanted to remain in a state of perpetual war where they were losing 15 trillion child soldiers a year with them forever. That did keep that conflict up for over ten thousand years too.

 

[Zyobot]

ICG is more like if the Imperium of man had all of DAOT humanities technology and a highly centralized Oceania style totalitarian government where they would execute people for """crimes""" they could theoretically commit in the future. One said "crime" was one the soldiers effectively won their "war" against the Xeelee and they didn't want that because they wanted to remain in a state of perpetual war where they were losing 15 trillion child soldiers a year with them forever. That did keep that conflict up for over ten thousand years too.

How does that prove me wrong, though? I’ll admit the comparison was somewhat reductionist, but considering how bloodthirsty, self-destructive, and rabidly anti-individualist the ICG is, I’d say there are disturbing parallels between the worldviews (if not ideologies) of Hama Druz and Pol Pot. Hell, if Brother No. 1 had been reincarnated on Callisto in 5408, it could’ve very well been as Druz.

 

[Val the Moofia Boss]

The Horde and the Alliance from Warcraft.

The first Horde existed for 15 years. It's first act was to turn on their neighbors, the Draenei. The First Horde then destroyed the orcish homeworld of Draenor, and then proceeded to invade another planet, Azeroth, and attempted to wipe out the Alliance. The Horde didn't stop until their generals were killed and the Orc were put into prison camps. There is then 10 years of peace. Admittedly during this time, the Alliance seems to be idle and has no plans to reeducate the Orcs to dehordify them. Eventually the Orcs rebel and flee across the ocean to another continent, Kalimdor. Okay, fine, at least they're not fighting against the Alliance anymore, so the Alliance leaves them be and tries to forget about them.

Then the Horde makes the idiotic decision to allow the Forsaken to join the Horde. The Forsaken are located on the Eastern Kingdoms (the continent the Alliance are on, the continent the Horde was trying to get off of) with the Forsaken in the Eastern Kingdoms. The Forsaken are an army of zombies led by Sylvanas Windrunner, who digs up people's graves, resurrects, them, and then tells them "serve me or go back to the grave". She begins a conquest of the surrounding regions. She also captures people and conducts horrific Unit 731 style live experimentation upon them, trying to brew a plague that will kill more people so she can raise and enslave them. For some reason, the Orcs who were just liberated a few years ago and renounced their former warlike ways decide to ally with the enslaver. For obvious reasons, the Alliance are against Sylvanas, so allying with the Forsaken means making an enemy of the Alliance who the Horde were trying to put behind them...

A low intensity conflict ensues with frequent skirmishes. Eventually the Forsaken decide to use their plague on Alliance troops during an operation in which Horde and the Alliance were supposed to be fighting together against the Scourge. The Alliance has had enough and assaults the Forsaken's capital, going inside and witnessing all of the horrific experiments and trying to free anyone they can. Right as Varian is about to eliminate the Forsaken once and for all, Jaina teleports the Alliance forces, rendering all of the sacrifices to capture the Undercity in vain and prolonging the conflict. Full blown war breaks out immediately after.

Several years of war ensue. Sylvanas continues her conquest of the Eastern Kingdoms and unleashes the plague on an Alliance kingdom, Gilneas, rendering it uninhabitable and enslaving whoever didn't make it out. The Horde in Kalimdor goes to war with the Night Elves so they can chop down elven forests for wood, despite there being perfectly good unclaimed forests to the South. The Horde nukes the Alliance city of Theramore. The Horde discover another continent, Pandaria, and promptly launch an invasion trying to conquer it and plunder its resources.

The Horde also begins unearthing dark sorcery. They give in to the whispers of an evil old god. They begin wielding the horrendous flesh shaping magic of the Mogu. They begin practicing Dark Shamanism, enslaving the elementals that they supposedly revered. The Horde use Alliance captives for target practice and torture them. The warchief proudly proclaims his desire to wipe out the Alliance in its entirety, civilians and all.

The Alliance invade the Horde capital city of Orgrimmar and capture the Horde's warchief. Rather than finish the job and begin an occupation and reeducate the populace (or just kill everybody), the Alliance instead just leaves, allowing the Horde's institutional warlike culture to remain intact.




Naturally, the Horde invades the Alliance yet again a couple years later, and kicks it off by wiping out yet another Alliance city, Teldrassil, driving the Night Elves to near extinction. The war ends in the predictable fashion with the Alliance marching up to the Horde's capital. The Horde realize how screwed they are and say "we change! Really!" and then the Alliance go home. The problem hasn't been addressed. Nothing has changed. WoW players' favorite pastime is trying to predict how many years until the Horde wipes out another Alliance city and war begins again.

The Horde has existed for 42 years. The Horde has been spilling blood for 27 years. The only time the Horde wasn't on a slaughter spree was during the 10 years of Orcish internment by the Alliance, followed by the first 5 years of Thrall's reign as Warchief, up until he allowed the Forsaken to join. I know interning an entire race within concentration camps sounds awful, but history has shown that some sort of occupation of internship is the only way to keep the Horde from going on a mass murder spree (short of just killing everyone in the Horde). And yet the Alliance just keeps taking the Horde's words at face value and leaving when they have their swords at the Horde's throats.

As for the Horde, they're idiots. They've been trying to conquer the Alliance for 34 years and have never once come close to victory. Each war ends with the Horde at the mercy of the Alliance, and yet the Horde keeps going back to war with the Alliance, apparently thinking that they can win "this time". The Horde are a warrior culture of LOSERS. They have nothing to boast about. The one and only time a Horde conquest succeeded was their first one, when they turned on their Draenei neighbors and wiped out a civilization of farmers. Such glory! Also, everyone who willingly joined the warmongering side that always loses is an idiot too.

 

[Carrot of Truth]

How does that prove me wrong, though? I’ll admit the comparison was somewhat reductionist, but considering how bloodthirsty, self-destructive, and rabidly anti-individualist the ICG is, I’d say there are disturbing parallels between the worldviews (if not ideologies) of Hama Druz and Pol Pot. Hell, if Brother No. 1 had been reincarnated on Callisto in 5408, it could’ve very well been as Druz.

They don't have the whole destroy the urban centers for some sort of agrarian utopia thing going on. Also they wanted to stay in perpetual war so their regime would survive which is something more analogous to the third Reichs grandest of ambitions. I think overall ICG is all of the worst regimes you can imagine rolled into one, They have the genocidal policies of Hitlers Reich the Orwellian state of Stalins Russia and things from regimes like Pol Pots Cambodia. That said all those child soldiers are grown in vats and are genetically engineered to be loyal to the state.

 

[Zyobot]

They don't have the whole destroy the urban centers for some sort of agrarian utopia thing going on. Also they wanted to stay in perpetual war so their regime would survive which is something more analogous to the third Reichs grandest of ambitions. I think overall ICG is all of the worst regimes you can imagine rolled into one, They have the genocidal policies of Hitlers Reich the Orwellian state of Stalins Russia and things from regimes like Pol Pots Cambodia. That said all those child soldiers are grown in vats and are genetically engineered to be loyal to the state.

So, basically, Space Sparta — and not in a good way.