Val the Moofia Boss
Well-known member
I think pornography is a symptom of a bigger problem. People are turning to porn because it's fulfilling a desire they aren't getting: intimacy. Why are they turning to porn to get intimacy, over actually hooking up with people? Probably because of the atomized state of society (ie, you live in apartment or in an urban neighborhood and there is no community: you have nothing in common with your next door neighbors, and even if you did, the nature of the economy means that they move in and out every few months or years and you never see them again). There is also the economic reality, where it's just incredibly difficult to own a house and have a family, which is sort of a pre-requisite for getting into a committed relationship with the intention of having a family in the first place. By the time you have your student debt paid off and have managed to get yourself into a position where you can buy a house and raise a family, you're a man well into his 30s or 40s.
People aren't built to be islands. No one can last that long without intimacy. They're going to try to seek out some sort of substitute to fulfill that desire. So they turn to porn, or casual sex relationships, or prostitution.
Also sucks that Evangelical Churches have been absolutely awful at addressing sex. They tell you "don't do sex until you're married", (which is a good thing!), but that statement in of itself doesn't resolve people's desire for intimacy at all. Churches separate bible study groups by gender and age, so young men don't get to hang around older married men and find role models for guidance, and if you try finding a woman at Church to be your wife, you get kicked out. "The church isn't a place for you to find a wife!". Talk about being tone deaf. And sexual sin has been stigmatized as this ultimate sin to the point that you have dozens and dozens of people going to church who are addicts, but no one is going to admit that they have a problem, so it is never addressed.
Also doesn't help that the culture likes to portray "getting into a relationship" as a life goal to check off, not as a commitment to take seriously.
People aren't built to be islands. No one can last that long without intimacy. They're going to try to seek out some sort of substitute to fulfill that desire. So they turn to porn, or casual sex relationships, or prostitution.
Also sucks that Evangelical Churches have been absolutely awful at addressing sex. They tell you "don't do sex until you're married", (which is a good thing!), but that statement in of itself doesn't resolve people's desire for intimacy at all. Churches separate bible study groups by gender and age, so young men don't get to hang around older married men and find role models for guidance, and if you try finding a woman at Church to be your wife, you get kicked out. "The church isn't a place for you to find a wife!". Talk about being tone deaf. And sexual sin has been stigmatized as this ultimate sin to the point that you have dozens and dozens of people going to church who are addicts, but no one is going to admit that they have a problem, so it is never addressed.
Also doesn't help that the culture likes to portray "getting into a relationship" as a life goal to check off, not as a commitment to take seriously.