KilroywasNOTHere
"BEEP!"
I moved back in with my parents 3 years ago thinking it would be temporary. I'm still there, and I'm glad for the time with them.
Well it looks like there is a great reset is slowly happening just not in the way the elites want,I stared at the bright-yellow walls of my childhood bedroom in all their teenage-angsty glory. In March 2020, at the age of 21, I had just moved back home from Boston to live with my parents in my suburban town of Stoneham, Massachusetts, after the college I was attending sent students home because of the pandemic.
- After my college went virtual because of the pandemic, I moved back in with my parents at 21.
- Being back home was hard — I kept comparing myself with friends with exciting jobs across the world.
- But it's strengthened my bond with my parents; their experience means they have great career advice.
I figured this wasn't long term. Once the pandemic died down, I still planned to live my big-city dreams in New York after school. I've pictured myself living there since high school. However, a short-term plan became three years. After deciding to finish school remotely and graduating in 2021, I still live with my parents.
I'm the baby of my family. My two siblings are older than me by almost a decade. My mom had me when she was 39 and my dad was 45, making them 63 and 70 now, respectively. They often call me their "miracle baby."
Since there's such a large age gap between my siblings and me, for many years before I moved out, it was just my mom, dad, and me in our big house after they left for college. I've always had a positive relationship with my parents; my childhood was a balance of guidance, freedom, and support. Still, returning home felt like a defeat.
Living with my parents presented some internal challenges
I understand there's a great amount of privilege, security, and financial relief I have in living with my parents. Unfortunately, it's so hard not to compare myself with my peers. Even during the earlier pandemic days, many of my friends were scoring big jobs and moving across the country. While Census Bureau data published in November showed almost half of young adults in the US lived at home, I still attach shame and guilt to my living situation.
It also didn't help that I could spend aching hours of the day looking at my framed high-school diploma or all the artifacts from my childhood, such as my American Girl dolls and old prom dresses. These pieces of my youth made me feel like I was still mom and dad's little girl, forever stuck in high school. I felt helpless, as though I would never be able to figure out life on my own.
My high-school self was like any hormonal teenage girl — sad, shy, lonely, embarrassed, irritable, and extremely acne-prone. I had spent all of college trying to erase those parts of me, and it was a reminder that I hadn't grown as much as I wanted to.
My parents' health became a concern
Both my mom and my dad take excellent care of themselves, between my dad's morning gym routine and my mom's yoga classes. But as my parents have aged, they've faced various health problems — especially my dad, who has heart problems. In April 2022, I remember the day I drove my dad to the hospital for his second knee-replacement surgery. My hands shook as I sat in the waiting room; I imagined the worst outcome as he was under anesthesia. Sometimes, I even walk by the living room during his occasional afternoon naps to ensure he's still breathing.
My mom has also had her fair share of health scares. In December, she caught a rough case of respiratory syncytial virus. It took over two months for her to fully heal. Even though she told me she was fine, it worried me that her recovery took that long.
We've created a stronger bond that my teenage self didn't know was possible
In high school, I butted heads with my parents, whether about being late for school or procrastinating on getting my license. I remember once when I didn't win a big singing competition and I ran a block away from home, in the rain with no shoes on, and they got so upset with me. But mostly, we've gotten along.
Living through a pandemic that has disrupted my early 20s has offered a new perspective. I want to be around my parents more than ever. With everything they have sacrificed in their life to make a good life for me and my siblings, I want to pitch in — whether it's cooking dinner, helping my mom when she doesn't understand what's going on with Google Docs, or reminding my dad that, yes, we did watch that "Ted Lasso" episode already.
I also have more interest than ever in my parents' past. They've lived such interesting lives, from my mom's days as a flight attendant followed by grad school to my dad's experience with the National Guard during the Vietnam War and then working as a director of Global Logistics in high tech. It's a reminder that life can be long, trying new things is good, and travel can be an enriching experience.
Their experience means they have the best advice to offer. While I've spent many hours crying and overthinking my future, they've given me important tools to help me go forward. They also stress that even in their old age, they're still figuring it all out.
When I speak harshly about my high-school self, they gently remind me of the real me; I'm a go-getter, I'm kind, and I'm passionate about the things I love. However, sometimes, they do like to reminisce about my younger days more than I may prefer, like when my dad spends his nights rewatching my old singing videos. I may tell him I hate it, but secretly, I love that he loves me enough to relive these moments in my life.
It's the right time for me to stay home
While I sometimes wish I had a place of my own, I wouldn't trade this quality time with my parents. I realize our time together is more precious than ever.
Someday, I'll trade the bright-yellow walls of my childhood bedroom for a shoebox apartment in New York City. For now, I'm OK with embracing my childhood a little longer.
