I like hardcover books because they make a satisfying "thump" when I smack my children upside their heads.
Book Club Thread 1: Jake's Magical Market, Spoilers Open
- Thread starter Bear Ribs
- Start date
If anyone has a good link to the EPUB/PDF can you PM it to me please?
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
Made it to chapter 8 so far. I'm doing the audiobook so I may not have the spelling of some names correct since I'm going off pronounciation.
Technically seems good. I'm not running into anything terrible in the grammar or sentence structure and the narrator is a nice choice, very much a rough rogueish kind of weasley voice that fits Jake's somewhat morally great conflicted character.
The game system/LitRPG parts are right where I like them, the system has a major impact on how the world works but there's no lengthy text block full of stats and numbers I have to fast forward through nor excessive lists. The limitation on the number of cards Jake can have active at any given time nicely means that he'll have to sometimes swap out cards and rotate what his powerset is which will both tamp down on power creep but also keep things fresh since he has to give up old powers for new and can completely rebuild how he fights if he needs to. Additionally, it means the author won't be tempted to pad word count with huge lists of cards, I was exceedingly pleased when Jake got a sizeable number of cards and the author didn't feel the need to list any of them except the ones Jake was actively going to use.
The game system/LitRPG parts are right where I like them, the system has a major impact on how the world works but there's no lengthy text block full of stats and numbers I have to fast forward through nor excessive lists. The limitation on the number of cards Jake can have active at any given time nicely means that he'll have to sometimes swap out cards and rotate what his powerset is which will both tamp down on power creep but also keep things fresh since he has to give up old powers for new and can completely rebuild how he fights if he needs to. Additionally, it means the author won't be tempted to pad word count with huge lists of cards, I was exceedingly pleased when Jake got a sizeable number of cards and the author didn't feel the need to list any of them except the ones Jake was actively going to use.
Loved the Minotaur (Not trying to spell his name though). The high-elf tourists were fun too but I kind of felt like Jake got excessively lucky with his first few shoppers all being honorable and friendly. At first, I was quite confused as to why Jake was the only surviving human when the odds were 1:10, in even a small town that should have meant hundreds, enough to band together and provide some defense.
Then Deer Bastard showed up and answered that question in the most horrible way. Really, really loved the fight with Deer Bastard too. Just great,
Deer Bastard: "I'm going to come back and murder you in your sleep. Rest well."
Jake: *Uses the scent card he got off a dire wolf to track down where Deer Bastard is nesting and murders him in his sleep.*
Deer Bastard: "Okay you're worthy, just come over here into range of my horrifically powerful melee attacks and I'll give you something good as a token of my respect."
Jake: *Uses time stop to hit Deer Bastard with 25 fireballs in one second well out of horrifically powerful melee range.*
Then Deer Bastard showed up and answered that question in the most horrible way. Really, really loved the fight with Deer Bastard too. Just great,
Deer Bastard: "I'm going to come back and murder you in your sleep. Rest well."
Jake: *Uses the scent card he got off a dire wolf to track down where Deer Bastard is nesting and murders him in his sleep.*
Deer Bastard: "Okay you're worthy, just come over here into range of my horrifically powerful melee attacks and I'll give you something good as a token of my respect."
Jake: *Uses time stop to hit Deer Bastard with 25 fireballs in one second well out of horrifically powerful melee range.*
Ixian
Well-known member
Working my way through it now.
I can't believe he couldn't find a single gun in an American town. Of course a couple chapters later it's explained that "normal" technology will no longer function (yet somehow he has a record player that still functions and he is trying to sell), but thats kind of besides the point. He should have been able to find a lot more useful stuff than is shown.
I am enjoying the supporting cast more than the main character, but I suppose thats pretty standard for the genre, as the MC is probably supposed to be more of a self insert style character, and thats fairly common for litrpg stories.
The card based magic is interesting, and I'm wondering if the rules for it will remain consistent throughout the book.
Finally, I feel the MC is taking the destruction of the Earth and civilization as we know it far to well. I get he has the spell card that helps calm his mental state, but I would be alternating between fury and despair, of course I have a family I'd be devastated to lose, while it seems the MC didn't have much in the way of family. Which I think may go a good way to explain why he has latched on to these strange inhuman individuals so quickly. All I know is that in his situation, my thoughts would be bent towards punishing these "Gods" for what they did to Earth.
I am enjoying the supporting cast more than the main character, but I suppose thats pretty standard for the genre, as the MC is probably supposed to be more of a self insert style character, and thats fairly common for litrpg stories.
The card based magic is interesting, and I'm wondering if the rules for it will remain consistent throughout the book.
Finally, I feel the MC is taking the destruction of the Earth and civilization as we know it far to well. I get he has the spell card that helps calm his mental state, but I would be alternating between fury and despair, of course I have a family I'd be devastated to lose, while it seems the MC didn't have much in the way of family. Which I think may go a good way to explain why he has latched on to these strange inhuman individuals so quickly. All I know is that in his situation, my thoughts would be bent towards punishing these "Gods" for what they did to Earth.
I've read through chapter 8 as well.
At first, I was put off by the characterization of the narrator. Just felt like a completely anti-social moron. Which makes me wonder what the hell kind of people the gods were selecting as qualified for transport and not 'goo-ification'. Thankfully, he forces himself (much thanks to environmental pressures such as survival!) to get outside his box.
I have a feeling the gods made sure NOT to transport anything sufficiently killy like guns simply for the fact that it would play havoc with the need to collect cards/spells to overcome their dungeon setting.
The minotaur's name is spelled Eargobr, and in my head I'm pronouncing it "Ear'gob'er". The dungeon fight was a great example of a focused build and an inherent weakness where Shopkeeper Jake gets to shine vs Eargobr. And yes, watching Deer Bastard get his was kinda sweet. Though I do appreciate how the narrator isn't some hard boiled combatant all of sudden.
Definitely appreciate that we're not getting some stupid lists of cards and their effects and such. Effort is being made to ensure immersion and not run off on needless exposition. I do agree that the limit on active cards is a good thing.
The idea of transported Earth to some weird fantasy game world is different, and I'm right there with some that I'd be hell bent on revenge against the gods for doing this. Kinda curious if Shopkeeper Jake is going to try anything or just survive to enrich himself and protect any friends he makes. OR is he gonna go god-slayer?
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
The Narrator in the audiobook pronounces his name "Eeyore-" (Like the donkey in Winnie the Pooh) "-gobor." I would absolutely have never gotten that spelling from the pronunciation.
I do agree, the guy has a remarkable lack of concern for, f'rex, his coworker turning into grey slime (I kinda think the story might have been stronger if she lived, his isolation from all other humans is doing weird things to it). However I also think having him completely break down, beyond his nearly having a crying fit in front of the elves, would have pretty much just wrecked the story and logically just got him killed so Imma call it a necessary weasel.
I think there's plenty of more useful stuff in town he hasn't looted (He took a single sledgehammer and some seeds from the hardware store, bound to be tons of other tools) but he's concentrating on what he thinks will sell/be immediately useful. So he's taken only either tools he plans to use himself (The aforementioned sledgehammer and seeds) and kitschy wall paintings or souvenirs because that's what the elves bought so he thinks it might sell well.
I think there's plenty of more useful stuff in town he hasn't looted (He took a single sledgehammer and some seeds from the hardware store, bound to be tons of other tools) but he's concentrating on what he thinks will sell/be immediately useful. So he's taken only either tools he plans to use himself (The aforementioned sledgehammer and seeds) and kitschy wall paintings or souvenirs because that's what the elves bought so he thinks it might sell well.
It seems cosmically unfair and weird to me that dungeon monsters fail to drop loot while monsters outside the dungeon do. Just... really? Not even crafting ingredients? At the very least I'd expect the mid-bosses to drop something. However, it's interesting to me to note that the undead dungeon had three bosses each of which is specifically designed to shut down one build (First shuts down magicians, second shuts down ranged, third shuts down physical).
That dungeons increase in power as they age, and appear to be sentient given the custom loot Jake gets, suggests that this could be a world with sentient dungeon cores and we're just not seeing it from their perspective.
That dungeons increase in power as they age, and appear to be sentient given the custom loot Jake gets, suggests that this could be a world with sentient dungeon cores and we're just not seeing it from their perspective.
Lord Sovereign
The resident Britbong
I think I'm at about the same place as you lot.
Jake has somewhat won me over as a protagonist after the "Deer asshole" incident. I couldn't help but smile when, in response to it offering its secrets, he loudly declares "fuck that" and burns the bastard. That aside he isn't invincible, and he's quite frightened of the situation, which makes him slowly figuring things out all the more interesting to read.
Terthna
Professional Lurker
Made it all the way to chapter 24, but I think I'm going to have to call it quits here; as I just realized that I don't care what happens to this guy. The story comes across as soulless; like the main character is describing to me the contents of his grocery list and complaining that the supermarket didn't have that brand of grape soda he likes, rather than the life-or-death experiences he's supposed to be having. The pacing is also lighting fast; to the point where everything is just glossed over too quickly for any of it to feel like it matters. I have no idea who the main character is or what he wants, let alone any of the side characters; who honestly come across as little more than NPCs from a 16-bit era JRPG, but without any of the visual or audio cues that fleshed them out, or the gameplay that kept you invested.
All in all? Not worth finishing; not in my book at least.
All in all? Not worth finishing; not in my book at least.
Ixian
Well-known member
I'm not as far in, but yes, I'd agree the pacing is very fast, and I feel like it would be much improved by stretching out some character building scenes, but I think that may be mutually exclusive with the idea of it needed to focus more on life or death action scenes.
True, Jake could spend less time making mundane grocery lists, but slowing down the pacing almost requires more words dedicated to non-action scenes. My suggestion would be increasing the length of dialogue interactions between the MC and the supporting cast, interspersed with challenges the characters could overcome together, thus building the character relationships and slowing the pace somewhat.
True, Jake could spend less time making mundane grocery lists, but slowing down the pacing almost requires more words dedicated to non-action scenes. My suggestion would be increasing the length of dialogue interactions between the MC and the supporting cast, interspersed with challenges the characters could overcome together, thus building the character relationships and slowing the pace somewhat.
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
Well, hopefully, next month's book will be a better choice for you, nobody can say you didn't give it a chance.
I agree it's way too fast-paced
When the Transition happened I was kinda going "Huh? In three paragraphs? No banter, nothing on his normal life and why it sucks, just a couple paragraphs about putting out melons, two sentences to describe his suddenly-goo'd co-worker, and we're off to the fantasy part?"
Terthna
Professional Lurker
The breaking point for me was when he
After reading that, I realized that the only thing that mattered to the author when writing this story was the cards; everything else is little more than window dressing.
gets and breaks up with a girlfriend in the span of a single paragraph. All we learn about her is her name, that she was a doctor, and that her hero worship of the main character made him uncomfortable enough to break up with her; that's it. She doesn't even get any dialogue.
After reading that, I realized that the only thing that mattered to the author when writing this story was the cards; everything else is little more than window dressing.
Lord Sovereign
The resident Britbong
By the sounds of it, the "Deer Asshole" shouldn't have been killed off so quickly. Keeping him around as a constant threat may have done wonders for character building and tension
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
At Chapter 24 now, took some time off for the weekend for a couple projects.
My initial satisfaction at the lack of card lists and stat blocks is starting to wane as more and more wordcount is being dedicated to listing how many cards he has and how many he just fused to upgrade an existing card. Even with only ten cards to a deck the repeated descriptions of each of his cards (plus he's now using multiple decks and swapping them as needed) is getting excessive.
In general I'm also noting a distinct RPG feel to it, which I guess is appropriate since it's LitRPG but also becoming a failing. The distinct bit here is that he encounters a problem and then solves it immediately, if there's an encounter that's hostile he kills it right away, if there's an infrastructure issue he immediately solves that right away, and problems come at him one at a time so that he doesn't have to prioritize.
The reason I call this an RPG feel is it distinctly reminds me of my days as a GM, where it was remarkably hard to set up any recurring boss, mystery, or other long-term problem because players would instantly blitz it with everything they had to prevent problems from piling up, and I had to be maniacally careful about any villain showing his face or they'd throw all caution to the wind and fireball his ass before he could get a word off. My attempts at games with a mystery were especially aggravating because rather than gather clues, players invariably defaulted to killing and/or torturing for information immediately. Jake's reminding me of that at this point with his tendency to say hi, then if the other isn't totally friendlyfireball Time Stop/Elemental Blast their ass before they get a second word off.
This is alright in games, but you don't have to do that in a story, and in fact it's increasingly hurting the pacing as he's piling up ally after ally but no long-term threats or problems so his road is looking easier and easier over time.
In general I'm also noting a distinct RPG feel to it, which I guess is appropriate since it's LitRPG but also becoming a failing. The distinct bit here is that he encounters a problem and then solves it immediately, if there's an encounter that's hostile he kills it right away, if there's an infrastructure issue he immediately solves that right away, and problems come at him one at a time so that he doesn't have to prioritize.
The reason I call this an RPG feel is it distinctly reminds me of my days as a GM, where it was remarkably hard to set up any recurring boss, mystery, or other long-term problem because players would instantly blitz it with everything they had to prevent problems from piling up, and I had to be maniacally careful about any villain showing his face or they'd throw all caution to the wind and fireball his ass before he could get a word off. My attempts at games with a mystery were especially aggravating because rather than gather clues, players invariably defaulted to killing and/or torturing for information immediately. Jake's reminding me of that at this point with his tendency to say hi, then if the other isn't totally friendly
This is alright in games, but you don't have to do that in a story, and in fact it's increasingly hurting the pacing as he's piling up ally after ally but no long-term threats or problems so his road is looking easier and easier over time.
Seriously dude? I knew the city to the south was using humans as slave labor before he ever reached the gate. Way too much foreshadowing. I'm really hoping this foray into the city yields some longer-term threats that can't be killed the same paragraph they appear.
Despite the frantic pacing the book is still decent, the characterization is quite good and even side characters likeVlad Steve, the vampire who's addicted to trashy romance novels are surprisingly well developed despite only having a few sentences and never speaking on-screen. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if Vampires are monsters or people, the fact that most vampires drop one card suggests their monsters but then why is there this one that isn't going to pull the same ambush and wants to read romance novels instead? Perhaps monsters can become people and get decks over time? Or perhaps Vlad's an entirely different species of vampire from the monster ones, the way there are both friend High Elves and a dungeon full of monster elves.
Despite the frantic pacing the book is still decent, the characterization is quite good and even side characters like
Honestly I found that specific one too enjoyable, him sneaking up and killing Deer Bastard in his sleep mere hours after Deer Bastard threatened to do the same was quite poetic. It's also typical to have the MC win the first engagement handily to set the tone (Or otherwise establish their heroic creds in similar deeds, in Show Business this is called "Save the Cat," then have the second villain be the real threat the story revolves around.
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
Alright, got quite a bit forward all the way to part 2, chapter 9.
Holy genre change Batman! Not only is he no longer in the Magical Market business, he's away from Earth, separated from the cards, and now we've learned no less than three new magic systems (Energy Manipulation, Runes, Domains) while cards are going to the wayside as he keeps getting told they're crutches he should abandon as he goes into army adventures as part of an elite dungeon-killing team. You can tell this was an RR or similar webnovel or else his background was from there, this kind of massive whiplash into an entirely different genre doesn't happen outside of those situations.
Well I was right and the City turned out to be a major and continuing threat, the first one Jake couldn't wipe out immediately after it appeared. The torture scenes were very visceral and Jake's suffering was well written. Jakes experiences definitely changed him, unfortunately for the worse as he was already semi-psychotic and now he's growing increasingly moreso. The City is looking to be his final boss.
The world development in the city of the gods was good, it's an impressive place and he did a fine job of conveying the hopeless crushing difference between the super-wealthy elites and the poor of Ambrosia. This is a well-written echo of the themes he originally started with the first examination of The City.
Annoyed note: Why did Jake become a Rune Charger? It appears to be entirely plot-related, he's told straight up that it's literally soul-crushing work that will shorten his lifespan and the pay is garbage, and he has a set of cards that give him supernatural skills at cooking, driving, cleaning, and other domestic duties but after being told those jobs are easier and pay better he trades them all for a freakin' wristwatch and randomly decided rune charging is for him.
As an aside: Rune Charging is a critically important skill that forms the foundation of all of Ambrosia's magitechnology. Few people can do, it's very draining, and it takes a lot of skill. Also, pay for it is extremely low and even the best rune chargers can barely pay for a flophouse bed and meal, most rune chargers earn so little they can't even pay for their own food and sleep in their rune-charging office because they can't afford a cardboard box in an alley to sleep in. Economics do not work that way! Critical highly-skilled jobs only a few people can do are not poorly paid!
This was a poorly-conceived piece of writing. It's fairly obvious the author wanted to get Jake into the Runic Knights for the next section of the story. The rune charging section is rushed even by this books standards and Jake has to make a series of highly irrational decisions to get into rune charging that are clearly just the author making excuses to enlist him in the Runic Knights. It's both suspension-of-disbelief breaking for Jake to go against all the advice he's given and randomly decide on what he's told is the worst job imaginable, and not really necessary from a plot perspective. If you want Jake to enlist in the army, just have a recruiter spot him beating the tobacco juice out of the three muggers, and the recruiter gives him a pitch and Jake takes it to get off the streets as a homeless starving guy. Much more believable than the rune charger section.
On the very negative side, it's looking very much like Earth is completely doomed. If a planet doesn't take proper preparations their dungeons will grow out of control and consume the world, and his current destination is dying right now even though it's equivalent of the Roman Empire was fully prepared, because no other nation was. With no humans having prepared at all it's apparent things are grim. This also partially answers my question about wandering monsters, apparently they can leave dungeons once the dungeon becomes powerful and aware enough, and when they do they drop a single card. That doesn't quite explain why they were wandering around when the dungeons on earth were still fresh and absolutely shouldn't have been spawning vampires right and left, there may still be more going on.
The Mind Card plot is really overdone and annoying. He's literally created a card out ofmind flayers Cthuloids which is visibly giving off malice and fills him with a sense of horror, his teammates utterly hate mental cards and are deeply suspicious of them, and he's decided to put it into his deck because he thinks it might be useful even though it doesn't fit with his powerset. Even for Jake this is psychotic.
The world development in the city of the gods was good, it's an impressive place and he did a fine job of conveying the hopeless crushing difference between the super-wealthy elites and the poor of Ambrosia. This is a well-written echo of the themes he originally started with the first examination of The City.
Annoyed note: Why did Jake become a Rune Charger? It appears to be entirely plot-related, he's told straight up that it's literally soul-crushing work that will shorten his lifespan and the pay is garbage, and he has a set of cards that give him supernatural skills at cooking, driving, cleaning, and other domestic duties but after being told those jobs are easier and pay better he trades them all for a freakin' wristwatch and randomly decided rune charging is for him.
As an aside: Rune Charging is a critically important skill that forms the foundation of all of Ambrosia's magitechnology. Few people can do, it's very draining, and it takes a lot of skill. Also, pay for it is extremely low and even the best rune chargers can barely pay for a flophouse bed and meal, most rune chargers earn so little they can't even pay for their own food and sleep in their rune-charging office because they can't afford a cardboard box in an alley to sleep in. Economics do not work that way! Critical highly-skilled jobs only a few people can do are not poorly paid!
This was a poorly-conceived piece of writing. It's fairly obvious the author wanted to get Jake into the Runic Knights for the next section of the story. The rune charging section is rushed even by this books standards and Jake has to make a series of highly irrational decisions to get into rune charging that are clearly just the author making excuses to enlist him in the Runic Knights. It's both suspension-of-disbelief breaking for Jake to go against all the advice he's given and randomly decide on what he's told is the worst job imaginable, and not really necessary from a plot perspective. If you want Jake to enlist in the army, just have a recruiter spot him beating the tobacco juice out of the three muggers, and the recruiter gives him a pitch and Jake takes it to get off the streets as a homeless starving guy. Much more believable than the rune charger section.
On the very negative side, it's looking very much like Earth is completely doomed. If a planet doesn't take proper preparations their dungeons will grow out of control and consume the world, and his current destination is dying right now even though it's equivalent of the Roman Empire was fully prepared, because no other nation was. With no humans having prepared at all it's apparent things are grim. This also partially answers my question about wandering monsters, apparently they can leave dungeons once the dungeon becomes powerful and aware enough, and when they do they drop a single card. That doesn't quite explain why they were wandering around when the dungeons on earth were still fresh and absolutely shouldn't have been spawning vampires right and left, there may still be more going on.
The Mind Card plot is really overdone and annoying. He's literally created a card out of
I tend to make "Bets" with myself as to whether I can predict plot twists. If I win no bets, I consider the book poorly written as the author can't do foreshadowing properly. If I win every bet, it's also poorly written as the author can't write a decent plot twist. So far this story I'm running pretty heavy on winnings but I haven't been able to post many "bets" here because the hectic pace of the story tends to have them resolved a paragraph after I think them up.
This time I can: I predict his Decadence card is going to be pivotal in the end. There's no reason he shouldn't have used such a worthless card as fodder to upgrade one of his other cards but he never burns it, and he keeps putting Decadence into his deck even though it does nothing if he's not living a luxurious lifestyle, even when he's a homeless bum or working as a soldier. There's been twenty times more word count dedicated to Decadence than his brief experience having and breaking up with a girlfriend.
This time I can: I predict his Decadence card is going to be pivotal in the end. There's no reason he shouldn't have used such a worthless card as fodder to upgrade one of his other cards but he never burns it, and he keeps putting Decadence into his deck even though it does nothing if he's not living a luxurious lifestyle, even when he's a homeless bum or working as a soldier. There's been twenty times more word count dedicated to Decadence than his brief experience having and breaking up with a girlfriend.
Terthna
Professional Lurker
I am so glad I dropped this garbage when I did, though now I'm wondering how the heck it managed to net so many positive reviews.
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
It's still better than a lot of stuff I've seen praised online. On a technical level it has decent grammar and descriptions that manage not to be too wordy nor too sparse. The initial concept was interesting and I suspect edgy 12-year-old readers are responsible for the rest.
Unfortunately LitRPG is a relatively new Genre and even the best can be hit-or-miss as there frankly aren't any seasoned writers doing it yet, all the LitRPG writers are relative newbies who are still building the genre from the ground up. It's rather like watching the earliest western movies Hollywood produced or looking back and old genre-establishing shows like Seinfeld. Yeah... they don't seem good anymore because now the genre's established but at the time they were breaking new ground and building their genre's foundation.
On a plot-level it very much looks like a product of too much listening to the comments and failing to realize loud-mouth commenters aren't all your readers nor are they likely paying for your book. Stuff like "Always immediately kill anything that could remotely be a threat, your MC is weak and foolish if they try to use diplomacy or show mercy" is something I see a lot of writers complain about the posters demanding from them. I suspect the writer had his book plan of a guy running a magical shop and doing survival/slice of life, but read one too many user comments and felt bullied into changing the story to suit them.
General signs the readers has been listening to the 12-year-old-edgelord demographic include:
MC becomes a fighter/caster hybrid who can also heal because they think not being able to do absolutely everything is weak. Sometimes a carveout for not healing if the MC has a girlfriend who's a white mage.
MC gains super mental focus and no longer has any signs of stress, mental trauma, or PTSD because they think that's weak.
MC becomes psychotically aggressive towards anything that might become a threat because they think restraint is weak.
MC begins racking up special snowflake powers like pokemon.
If there's a military service or guild membership involved, MC is fast-tracked to join Special Forces or Intelligence. They're never infantry or other ordinary enlisted.
If no military service, MC becomes the lynchpin of a badass adventurer team (Probability the rest are all female is high).
All other characters get sorted into "Love the MC and are totally benign" and "Horrifically evil." There are no neutral characters that matter, and rarely is there any rival unless the writer is Asian where that's more common.
MC gets a harem. Fortunately Mathews was able to resist this one, but I rather suspect the one-paragraph offscreen girlfriend was entirely to establish that Jake wasn't a virgin to satisfy them.
Note that all of these are things that began changing in Jake after the initial premise was started. The elves began friendly but didn't really act like they were more than kindly tourists, the whole training Jake in their secret martial arts came later. Jake began with a clear focus on being a squishy caster, had major PTSD and stressed on the transition, etc. Gradually all those things have vanished and Jake's begun racking up special snowflake powers, become a special forces badass, turned into a fighter/caster hybrid who can heal, and gained super mental focus. Granted he was always psychotically aggressive but that felt more like his PTSD at first, now it's just odd.
[/quote]
General signs the readers has been listening to the 12-year-old-edgelord demographic include:
MC becomes a fighter/caster hybrid who can also heal because they think not being able to do absolutely everything is weak. Sometimes a carveout for not healing if the MC has a girlfriend who's a white mage.
MC gains super mental focus and no longer has any signs of stress, mental trauma, or PTSD because they think that's weak.
MC becomes psychotically aggressive towards anything that might become a threat because they think restraint is weak.
MC begins racking up special snowflake powers like pokemon.
If there's a military service or guild membership involved, MC is fast-tracked to join Special Forces or Intelligence. They're never infantry or other ordinary enlisted.
If no military service, MC becomes the lynchpin of a badass adventurer team (Probability the rest are all female is high).
All other characters get sorted into "Love the MC and are totally benign" and "Horrifically evil." There are no neutral characters that matter, and rarely is there any rival unless the writer is Asian where that's more common.
MC gets a harem. Fortunately Mathews was able to resist this one, but I rather suspect the one-paragraph offscreen girlfriend was entirely to establish that Jake wasn't a virgin to satisfy them.
Note that all of these are things that began changing in Jake after the initial premise was started. The elves began friendly but didn't really act like they were more than kindly tourists, the whole training Jake in their secret martial arts came later. Jake began with a clear focus on being a squishy caster, had major PTSD and stressed on the transition, etc. Gradually all those things have vanished and Jake's begun racking up special snowflake powers, become a special forces badass, turned into a fighter/caster hybrid who can heal, and gained super mental focus. Granted he was always psychotically aggressive but that felt more like his PTSD at first, now it's just odd.
[/quote]
Agent23
Ни шагу назад!
Ok, time to try a spoiler-free review, or spoilers lite, anyways.
TL;DR Yeah, this was a decent-ish but long-ish SI Isekai fanfic for The Dungeon of Black Company, for a first attempt, at least, but this dude should have used something better than the Warframemods cards system, or playing on Easy Mode basically, am right, lol!
First off, the pacing is kinda wrong, like, literally all over the place.
In this book, both too much and not enough happens, and the story could have been condensed into maybe half its current size and work better, or it could have been split into 3 shorter books that would comprise our intrepid hero's adventures on
Earth, the Magipunk planet, and the Ruined Blue Roman world respectively.
There was something off-putting about the main character, perhaps it was, as other posters mentioned already, the fact that the writer was trying too hard to make a likable, non-Mary Sue character that is still an OP self-insert.
His moral quandaries ring hollow and his little take that heel face turns and the hypsteresque language of his internal monologues were somewhat annoying.
His excessively fast leveling up does not help his case, either.
Nor did the little tidbits about alternate Earths and the power of friendship make him less of a Mary Sue.
I have a strong feeling that Jake would have worked much better as a villain, something that I do not rule out given the ending and the start of what can only be a forth story ark.
This feels like an unedited debut novel that should have been a series of short stories, the effect and quality just being more proof that my various tirades about writing quality, the death of the short story as an art form and the lack of decent editors are right on the money.
I got some enjoyment out of it, sure, but if I have to compare it with other OP Self Insert modern fiction,like the BobVerse, I'd say that this was definitely a downgrade.
TO top this off, it felt like the book was written by a committee for a focus group at times.
Style: meh, I'd say 5/10
Character: 5/10
Overall enjoyment: 5/10
Plot development: 4/10
SJWitis/Twatter pandering score: 6/10(Higher is, of course, worse) as we had not one but two LGBTQKFC couples shoehorned in there narrative, too much in the way of crocodile tears being shed, some whining about muh sexism and even bits and pieces borderline furry shit with the elk/deer lady or wahtever
I am somewhat curious as to how the story will progress, but the writer really needs to improve almost everything about his writing.
TL;DR Yeah, this was a decent-ish but long-ish SI Isekai fanfic for The Dungeon of Black Company, for a first attempt, at least, but this dude should have used something better than the Warframe
First off, the pacing is kinda wrong, like, literally all over the place.
In this book, both too much and not enough happens, and the story could have been condensed into maybe half its current size and work better, or it could have been split into 3 shorter books that would comprise our intrepid hero's adventures on
Earth, the Magipunk planet, and the Ruined Blue Roman world respectively.
There was something off-putting about the main character, perhaps it was, as other posters mentioned already, the fact that the writer was trying too hard to make a likable, non-Mary Sue character that is still an OP self-insert.
His moral quandaries ring hollow and his little take that heel face turns and the hypsteresque language of his internal monologues were somewhat annoying.
His excessively fast leveling up does not help his case, either.
Nor did the little tidbits about alternate Earths and the power of friendship make him less of a Mary Sue.
I have a strong feeling that Jake would have worked much better as a villain, something that I do not rule out given the ending and the start of what can only be a forth story ark.
This feels like an unedited debut novel that should have been a series of short stories, the effect and quality just being more proof that my various tirades about writing quality, the death of the short story as an art form and the lack of decent editors are right on the money.
I got some enjoyment out of it, sure, but if I have to compare it with other OP Self Insert modern fiction,like the BobVerse, I'd say that this was definitely a downgrade.
TO top this off, it felt like the book was written by a committee for a focus group at times.
Style: meh, I'd say 5/10
Character: 5/10
Overall enjoyment: 5/10
Plot development: 4/10
SJWitis/Twatter pandering score: 6/10(Higher is, of course, worse) as we had not one but two LGBTQKFC couples shoehorned in there narrative, too much in the way of crocodile tears being shed, some whining about muh sexism and even bits and pieces borderline furry shit with the elk/deer lady or wahtever
I am somewhat curious as to how the story will progress, but the writer really needs to improve almost everything about his writing.