Asociality

[CarlManvers2019]

I maybe a guy who talks to you guys a lot and comment on internet forums, but that doesn’t mean I’m a guy who really likes being around people

I’m an Introvert or Asocial, I don’t exactly have malevolent hatred or desire to use people without a care, so I’m safe to be around

But I get really pissed whenever I in particulad am forced to be with people, even family

Does anyone have a similar case of asocality here?

If so, as ironic as it is. want to dump how you think and feel?

I for one am increasingly feeling frustrated, don’t want to be Dad’s teddy bear even if I do understand how nentally he’s very depressed and needs company for one, not allowed to sleep in my own room so I can accompany him and him constantly making me stay or be near him

He was already into hugs and kisses, but now even moreso after what jappened. Without my room, I feel more like in a cage or being pushed ingo something.

How about you guys?

 

[Fleiur]

I maybe a guy who talks to you guys a lot and comment on internet forums, but that doesn’t mean I’m a guy who really likes being around people

I’m an Introvert or Asocial, I don’t exactly have malevolent hatred or desire to use people without a care, so I’m safe to be around

But I get really pissed whenever I in particulad am forced to be with people, even family

Does anyone have a similar case of asocality here?

What do you want to do with your life?
If you don't want to be around people, what things do you do that doesn't involve other people?

 

[almostinsane]

I for one am increasingly feeling frustrated, don’t want to be Dad’s teddy bear even if I do understand how nentally he’s very depressed and needs company for one, not allowed to sleep in my own room so I can accompany him and him constantly making me stay or be near him

He was already into hugs and kisses, but now even moreso after what jappened. Without my room, I feel more like in a cage or being pushed ingo something.

How about you guys?

That seems a bit strange. Can you elaborate more about what's going on?

 

[CarlManvers2019]

What do you want to do with your life?
If you don't want to be around people, what things do you do that doesn't involve other people?

I really just want to go and read lots of books, read lots of comics and manga, watch cartoons and anime listen to music and play videogames. Alone.

Yeah, not really a job. Kinda have a problem that the job my family wants for me is a leadership position and their idea of teaching me is forcing me into these long meetings and reading these long texts which I keep explaining are NOT like school in presenting information

That seems a bit strange. Can you elaborate more about what's going on?

Three weeks ago my older brother shot himself in an attempted suicide, I was a bad sleeper and heard what turned out to be the gunshot and found him and alerted the rest of the family

He’s stable now and in a coma

Since then my dad has been forcing me and other siblings to sleep nearby in his room because he keeps going on that he needs family around to “heal him”

He even keeps on hurrying me up to be with him even though I’m not sleepy

Even though I only have to sleep in the same room as him

Thing is, losing me being able to sleep in my own bed and room wherein I have the most privacy and least constant interference from others’ REALLY pissing me off

I get he’s in a bad place but I AM NOT A FUCKING TEDDY BEAR AND I WAS APREADY VERY ASOCIAL BEFORE ALL THIS!!!

 

[Fleiur]

I really just want to go and read lots of books, read lots of comics and manga, watch cartoons and anime listen to music and play videogames. Alone.

Yeah, not really a job. Kinda have a problem that the job my family wants for me is a leadership position and their idea of teaching me is forcing me into these long meetings and reading these long texts which I keep explaining are NOT like school in presenting information

Chinoy ka ba?
I see. So gusto mo lang talaga mag focus in reading lots of books, reading lots of comics and manga, watch cartoons and anime listen to music and play videogames alone at this point/phase in your life?
How did you balance family, friends, school and leisure back when you were studying? Being an introvert and asocial.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

Chinoy ka ba?
I see. So gusto mo lang talaga mag focus in reading lots of books, reading lots of comics and manga, watch cartoons and anime listen to music and play videogames alone at this point/phase in your life?
How did you balance family, friends, school and leisure back when you were studying? Being an introvert and asocial.

Chinoy yes

Didn’t really have much friends in elementary or highschool, wasn’t really interested in going out even then and the fact that my mom kept forcing me into things like clubs, sports, long religious visits, long trips to the mountains with neither jnternet, TV, videogames or my reading material soured me of interactions or forced quality time even more

Before college she made it so that unless it was a saturday, I had no choice but to study, wasn’t allowed TV or videogames or much

Ironically when I went to college, she didn’t force me into any studying and it was mostly me studying on my own choice

Even then I didn’t like to have friends or much company, college was just a place for me to finish and go back home to my room

Simply put much of my interaction is forced by them who can barely understand why I am resistant or dislike being forced on long trips away from home and saying “Other people don’t have this luxury” and I keep saying we don’t have the same wants and such

They get really pissed when I don’t like being forced into the stuff they’re so overly enthusiastic about

 

[Fleiur]

Chinoy yes

Didn’t really have much friends in elementary or highschool, wasn’t really interested in going out even then and the fact that my mom kept forcing me into things like clubs, sports, long religious visits, long trips to the mountains with neither jnternet, TV, videogames or my reading material soured me of interactions or forced quality time even more

Before college she made it so that unless it was a saturday, I had no choice but to study, wasn’t allowed TV or videogames or much

Ironically when I went to college, she didn’t force me into any studying and it was mostly me studying on my own choice

Even then I didn’t like to have friends or much company, college was just a place for me to finish and go back home to my room

Simply put much of my interaction is forced by them who can barely understand why I am resistant or dislike being forced on long trips away from home and saying “Other people don’t have this luxury” and I keep saying we don’t have the same wants and such

They get really pissed when I don’t like being forced into the stuff they’re so overly enthusiastic about

I knew it.
It must be hard. However, I think you cannot have it your way only if you're not willing to stand own your own, away from your family. Or you can balance family obligation , leisure, your me time, and work.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

I knew it.
It must be hard. However, I think you cannot have it your way only if you're not willing to stand own your own, away from your family. Or you can balance family obligation , leisure, your me time, and work.

Can’t stand on my own, I’m not that good with taking care or my everything, still live with family like the rest of the family members who aren’t married but live in the same subdivision

Problem is, for me I’m only really really really comfortable in my own room

My family is also increasingly taking away my weekend time as I have to be with them

I still feel sore because my previous job/internship forced me to spend time at work on saturday mornings and previously on sundays we didn’t go to the hospital for church mass and then eat out and stau out for 2-3 hours and arrive late back home

Even if it’s not work or they’re not right beside me 24/7

It still fees suffocating

I’m not gonna “pabigyan” or whatever, don’t really care that much, but they won’t stop it

I was like this before the incident and not gonna change still, at most I just know problems intellectually and steer clear from others as much as possible. I can barely even truly enjoy myself with my entertainment because I have a constant feel that I am being forced to be around and there’s a time limit(even more now as my dad keeps coming and insisting I sleep with him already even 9pm) and since I lost my room even just for sleeping, I have lost much of my solitude

My solitude of my room is what I want, I could barely stand working with eldest brother who had near the same attitudes but with constant lecturing for me being able to read fiction, how-to books and advice-philosophy-history books but not work documents

 

[Fleiur]

Can’t stand on my own, I’m not that good with taking care or my everything, still live with family like the rest of the family members who aren’t married but live in the same subdivision

Problem is, for me I’m only really really really comfortable in my own room

My family is also increasingly taking away my weekend time as I have to be with them

I still feel sore because my previous job/internship forced me to spend time at work on saturday mornings and previously on sundays we didn’t go to the hospital for church mass and then eat out and stau out for 2-3 hours and arrive late back home

Even if it’s not work or they’re not right beside me 24/7

It still fees suffocating

I’m not gonna “pabigyan” or whatever, don’t really care that much, but they won’t stop it

I was like this before the incident and not gonna change still, at most I just know problems intellectually and steer clear from others as much as possible. I can barely even truly enjoy myself with my entertainment because I have a constant feel that I am being forced to be around and there’s a time limit(even more now as my dad keeps coming and insisting I sleep with him already even 9pm) and since I lost my room even just for sleeping, I have lost much of my solitude

My solitude of my room is what I want, I could barely stand working with eldest brother who had near the same attitudes but with constant lecturing for me being able to read fiction, how-to books and advice-philosophy-history books but not work documents

I see. So knowing you cannot stand own your own yet, do you have any plans to do so? Because you know that you cannot have it your own way only, right? Or you can change your mindset and you can balance your family, leisure, alone time, and learning your job.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

I see. So knowing you cannot stand own your own yet, do you have any plans to do so? Because you know that you cannot have it your own way only, right? Or you can change your mindset and you can balance your family, leisure, alone time, and learning your job.

Nope, too lazy and don’t have the skills and doubt many would have the patience to teach me step by step

Change my mindset? No, my family won’t change theirs, like ne they are VERY stubborn

But unlike me, they lack more self introspection or willingness to admit or know when they are wrong or know how others feel

Intellectually, I understand how others feel, but I don’t feel the same way still. Kinda like a sociopath who can understand how others’s feel if you pull them the right way.

Up to now, they act as if they can’t understand why I don’t feel the same enthusiasms and need for others’ presence or liking for dumb shit like watching PBA or concerts that are expensive

 

[Fleiur]

Nope, too lazy and don’t have the skills and doubt many would have the patience to teach me step by step

You know that you cannot be lazy, right? You choose to stay with your family because you cannot stand own your own yet. They will not leave you alone. If you're own your own their involvement in your me time/alone time and leisure will be lesser.

Change my mindset? No, my family won’t change theirs, like ne they are VERY stubborn

Yeah. And you are being very stubborn too.

But unlike me, they lack more self introspection or willingness to admit or know when they are wrong or know how others feel

Intellectually, I understand how others feel, but I don’t feel the same way still. Kinda like a sociopath who can understand how others’s feel if you pull them the right way.

But do you understand where your parents and siblings are coming from?( With what they want you to do.)

Up to now, they act as if they can’t understand why I don’t feel the same enthusiasms and need for others’ presence or liking for dumb shit like watching PBA or concerts that are expensive

Yeah. Because I think they want you to change your ways. That's family.

 

[LifeisTiresome]

@CarlManvers2019

Fleiur is right. if you want to be left alone, you need to stand alone.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

You know that you cannot be lazy, right? You choose to stay with your family because you cannot stand own your own yet. They will not leave you alone. If you're own your own their involvement in your me time/alone time and leisure will be lesser.


Yeah. And you are being very stubborn too.

But do you understand where your parents and siblings are coming from?( With what they want you to do.)


Yeah. Because I think they want you to change your ways. That's family.

Yeah, I know my own problems, but thing is it’s my own choice

I know where they’re coming from, doesn’t mean I have to like it

Plus, they ARE idiots, hell I purposely humiliated my own mother for taking away my Kindle by pointing out her idiotic logic behind not letting me look at a near-sex scene from A Star Is Born

There is a difference between being by yourself and constant interference from others

@CarlManvers2019

Fleiur is right. if you want to be left alone, you need to stand alone.

I know

Doesn’t mean I want to or will change

Currently I’m frustrating my father on near-on-purpose till he gives up at least on forcing me to sleep with him

I think it’s slowly working

Plus, to begin with he’s the one who’s really impatient even though in the end I agreed to sleep with him. I just tell him I’ll do it later.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

I’m sort of the designated target of my family’s constant thoughts and feelings because I’m the guy who stays at home, who doesn’t get drunk, doesn’t have sex, doesn’t get into fights, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t get into relationships, doesn’t stay out too long etc

They don’t do this constant directing to anybody else but me

They may say it’s for my own sake, but I know they’re doing projecting and trying to get someone to validate them and I’m most available or around

My mom or eldest brother would be pestering me, but now she’s still waiting for my brother in the hospital and I’m not working for the latter(guy is very stressful and constantly on about work)in the same “helping” manner

 

[Fleiur]

Yeah, I know my own problems, but thing is it’s my own choice

You cannot make your own choices if you're under your parents' roof. It's when you're own your own that you can make your own choices. And less involvement from them. Unfair reality, but that's the reality.

I know where they’re coming from, doesn’t mean I have to like it

Yeah. True. They are thinking the same way too.

Plus, they ARE idiots, hell I purposely humiliated my own mother for taking away my Kindle by pointing out her idiotic logic behind not letting me look at a near-sex scene from A Star Is Born

Because your mother is conservative?

There is a difference between being by yourself and constant interference from others

And what is that?

 

[CarlManvers2019]

Because your mother is conservative?

She watches lots of CNN with the rest of my family

Weirdly I’ve shown her news about Trans Athletes beating women and she says “Of course men are stronger”

 

[Fleiur]

She watches lots of CNN with the rest of my family

I meant like she does not want to expose you to those kind of scenes or acts.
Okay why she doesn't want you to watch the scene?

Weirdly I’ve shown her news about Trans Athletes beating women and she says “Of course men are stronger”

Good for your mother that she know what's in reality.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

I meant like she does not want to expose you to those kind of scenes or acts.
Okay why she doesn't want you to watch the scene?

She’s a prude and very much closer to the mindsets of past moral guardians on the whole, watching or enjoying fictional sex and violence will make you into a monster or even seeing it is disrepecting women and a sin

She shuts down or gets really angry whenever I manage to debate her and she can’t make proper answers except go “Because I said so”

I’m 23 and that happened last year when I was still 23

 

[Fleiur]

She’s a prude and very much closer to the mindsets of past moral guardians on the whole, watching or enjoying fictional sex and violence will make you into a monster or even seeing it is disrepecting women and a sin

Yeah. I can see that. That's what I mean.
You live in the capital, though she's not used to that yet?
But yeah I get where she's coming from. Did she really say monster?or other word in our language.

She shuts down or gets really angry whenever I manage to debate her and she can’t make proper answers except go “Because I said so”

Yeah. Parents being parents.

I’m 23 and that happened last year when I was still 23

Like I said previously, it is your decision if you want to adjust or not. I can imagine it's frustrating. But you can adjust yourself and at least achive compromise with what you want to do with your life and to your family.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

Okay, can we get back to thread topic

Anybody else here Asocial IRL and really finds other people to be draining or can only really handle them in limited doses or on their own times?