There's a lot of talk online lately from "redpill" type podcasts criticizing marriage. They like to list all the risks involved with marriage, insinuating that it's in the best interests of men to avoid marriage. So I decided to write a little essay about why I want to be married, and why it is good for men to be married in general.
So, why get married? Is it to have a partner to have sex with? That is a reason, and I believe it is wrong to have sex outside of the covenant of marriage, whether you're a man or a woman (and I've always been taught that, for the record). But it's not the main reason. Is it to have children and have a partner to raise those children with? That's a huge reason, but again, not THE reason. The main reason transcends those things. It also transcends objections about marriage "not being worth it". That reason is found in the Bible, and it has to do with the very nature of men and women. God saw that it was not good for man, for Adam, to be alone. So, using Adam's own rib, God created a corresponding helper for him - the woman, Eve.
God knew what he was doing. What applied to Adam applies to men now. It is not good for a man to be alone. And, as Jesus taught in Matthew 19, it is lifelong, committed union, not something that can be separated. So, that is my primary motivation in wanting to be married. I recognize that it isn't good for me to be alone, so I want to find that corresponding partner for myself. The greatest interest a person can have is in fulfilling the purpose and nature God created them with.
Divorce rates and the legal system being biased against men in custody, child support, alimony, etc are sad realities in the modern Western world. They are reasons to be careful about who you choose to marry. Don't marry someone who just likes how successful you are, or how good you look, or how good you are in bed. If you don't want to get divorced, find a woman who shares the view that marriage is a sacred covenant and divorce is not an option. They exist. Black pilled guys who are obsessed with "hypergamy" need to get their heads out of their butts and stop looking in all the wrong places. A lot of guys disparaging marriage wouldn't even be looked at twice by women who are actually looking for commitment. It's the blind leading the blind.
Is it possible to competely eliminate the risk of divorce? No. You can drastically reduce the risk by having standards for who you look for in a partner. But you're not going to completely eliminate that risk. But then, there's always risks in any relationship. There's a risk that the day after your wedding, your partner could be diagnosed with cancer, resulting in your married life being very different. That isn't a good reason to avoid marriage entirely. If as a man you use statistics about marriage to spurn commitment, to burn with lust and run around having casual sexual relationships with as many women as you can, you have no leg to stand on. You're worse than the women you disparage.
As a last note, someone might say "I'm fine with marriage, I just don't want the government involved". Well, then you're not going to actually get married. The authority of government is what gives the covenant of marriage between two people actual reality. Two people can't just hold hands and say "we're married" and expect that to be reality. You can do it in front of witnesses, but you still need an authority to recognize what the witnesses saw. That authority is the government - and that's fine. The hyper libertarian approach to relationships and marriage is also poisonous, because it's really an abandonment of any real commitment and union between partners.
So, why get married? Is it to have a partner to have sex with? That is a reason, and I believe it is wrong to have sex outside of the covenant of marriage, whether you're a man or a woman (and I've always been taught that, for the record). But it's not the main reason. Is it to have children and have a partner to raise those children with? That's a huge reason, but again, not THE reason. The main reason transcends those things. It also transcends objections about marriage "not being worth it". That reason is found in the Bible, and it has to do with the very nature of men and women. God saw that it was not good for man, for Adam, to be alone. So, using Adam's own rib, God created a corresponding helper for him - the woman, Eve.
God knew what he was doing. What applied to Adam applies to men now. It is not good for a man to be alone. And, as Jesus taught in Matthew 19, it is lifelong, committed union, not something that can be separated. So, that is my primary motivation in wanting to be married. I recognize that it isn't good for me to be alone, so I want to find that corresponding partner for myself. The greatest interest a person can have is in fulfilling the purpose and nature God created them with.
Divorce rates and the legal system being biased against men in custody, child support, alimony, etc are sad realities in the modern Western world. They are reasons to be careful about who you choose to marry. Don't marry someone who just likes how successful you are, or how good you look, or how good you are in bed. If you don't want to get divorced, find a woman who shares the view that marriage is a sacred covenant and divorce is not an option. They exist. Black pilled guys who are obsessed with "hypergamy" need to get their heads out of their butts and stop looking in all the wrong places. A lot of guys disparaging marriage wouldn't even be looked at twice by women who are actually looking for commitment. It's the blind leading the blind.
Is it possible to competely eliminate the risk of divorce? No. You can drastically reduce the risk by having standards for who you look for in a partner. But you're not going to completely eliminate that risk. But then, there's always risks in any relationship. There's a risk that the day after your wedding, your partner could be diagnosed with cancer, resulting in your married life being very different. That isn't a good reason to avoid marriage entirely. If as a man you use statistics about marriage to spurn commitment, to burn with lust and run around having casual sexual relationships with as many women as you can, you have no leg to stand on. You're worse than the women you disparage.
As a last note, someone might say "I'm fine with marriage, I just don't want the government involved". Well, then you're not going to actually get married. The authority of government is what gives the covenant of marriage between two people actual reality. Two people can't just hold hands and say "we're married" and expect that to be reality. You can do it in front of witnesses, but you still need an authority to recognize what the witnesses saw. That authority is the government - and that's fine. The hyper libertarian approach to relationships and marriage is also poisonous, because it's really an abandonment of any real commitment and union between partners.