WI: The Zimmerman Telegram Backfires Even Harder Than OTL.

[Free-Stater 101]

I saw a similar thread to this on AH.com once and thought why not ask here.

So in 1917 The President Of Mexico Carranza is having a huge amount of trouble with the ongoing Mexican Civil War and is in the midst of a meeting with his generals and staff when the decision is made to crack out the alcohol resulting in the, becoming drunk.

On the table is the Zimmerman Telagram which Caranza was planing to discuss with his generals late in the night, and 'Oh Boy Will They!" By tomorrow the response will be delivered to the Kaiser himself along with a copy the British will conveniently intercept, it reads.

Spoiler: Disclaimer Foul Language. (Credit to these words goes to AH.Com's Lethargic Lett for this masterpiece.)

O kaiser, German devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of imperialist are thou, that canst not Race to the Sea with your naked ass? Hindenberg and Ludendorff shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou disappointment of royalty, make subjects of Catholic sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, thy one-armed prick.

Thou Teutonic scullion, Bavarian wheelwright, brewer of Brunswick, goat-fucker of Saxony, swineherd of Mecklenberg-Schwerin and Mecklenberg-Strelitz, pig of Prussia, Hessian thief, catamite of the Tsar, hangman of Belgians, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, embarrassment of thine grandmother, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's ass, no man land's cur, Hunnic brow, screw thine own brothers, most of whom are deceased.

So the Mexicans declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Mexicans. Now we'll conclude, for we are enjoying democracy, and not dying liketh a buffoon in the mud what with the creatures of the farm; for this kiss our ass!

Sincerely,
President Venustiano Carranza, with the whole Mexican government

Or something of a similar note...

What Happens? 😋

 

[PsihoKekec]

Zaporozhian Cossacks sue Caranza for plagiarism?

 

[Free-Stater 101]

Zaporozhian Cossacks sue Caranza for plagiarism?

Sorry the Russians be they Soviet or White wouldn't allow this to happen and the cossacks would probably be laughing out their rears.

In any case imagine the reactions when the Kaiser see's and the British release the letter.

 

[Airedale260]

Probably not much. Maybe the Germans decide to commit some attacks via sabotage as payback for a perceived insult, but that’s about it. Mexico is wrapped up in its own issues, and they aren’t going to have any desire to get caught up in World War I.

And even if they did, there isn’t much in the way of transport to get them there...the U.S. is busy moving our own troops, and the RN is busy trying to keep the British Isles supplied and the German fleet pinned down.

 

[ATP]

Maybe one-two mexican dyvisions during WW1,nothing change.Unless thanks to that mexican cyvil war end earlier,goverment would not provoke Cristiada,and stronger Mexico during WW2 could...send 5 dyvisions with USA to Europe.Again,nothing change for world - but...
Mexico after WW2 could be much stronger.No refugees to USA now,at least not from Mexico.That would certainly change USA politics.

 

[Sixgun McGurk]

It didn't matter by then. There is no emotional content involved in international calculations and the US population was overwhelmingly against intervention in the war to a ridiculous majority. Lucrative private loans had been underwritten though, with wild profit to be had and a previously dead-set against Wilson had already been arm twisted into raising the troops to protect those loans and was allowing violations of the neutrality proclamation on the Entente's behalf. Excuses are just that. Huerta getting guns delivered through German ships didn't help matters and the US response and blockade of Mexico showed how little Washington actually cared about the letter of so-called 'international law.' Look at the newspaper campaigns of the day. There was a 100G U turn in war propaganda, from against to for in rags like the NYT almost overnight and official censorship of anti-war reporting in the more honest newspapers.