The Logistics of Good Living (ASOIAF, Brandon Stark SI)

Chapter 6: All Dwarves Are Not Created Equal (V)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    Originally planned to see them reach at least Castle Cerwyn, but character and world-building proved quite verbose. Hopefully just one more Luwin POV section after this and then a South's reaction interlude.

    “-. 274 AC .-“

    “Maester!” Luwin staggered to a halt in front of the snow hut. “Maester Qyburn? Maester Qyburn!” Lacking anything to knock on, Luwin awkwardly clapped his hands at the tunnel mouth. The noise was swallowed by the winter wind as easily as his shouts. He immediately felt foolish. Then he belatedly spotted the guards standing watch just close enough that the snowdrift didn’t entirely hide them from sight and Luwin felt like twice the fool. It threw him from fretful distress so far into the abyss of panic that he got on all fours and crawled into the hut as fast as he could. “Maester Qyburn!”

    Qyburn turned from the hearth in surprise, quill frozen mid-stroke over his journal or whatever it was.

    Luwin froze like a startled hare right there on his hands and knees at the entrance. What was he going to do, spill all of his master’s secrets in the bosom of a total stranger? A total stranger who likes to cut people while they’re still alive? He’d not exchanged more than scattered greetings with the man, this was a terrible idea! Gods, he really was an idiot, he’d not planned any further than this!

    Qyburn put his stationery away. “Come on, then. Come in.”

    Before Luwin knew it, he was sitting by the fire with tea mug in hand eating roast chestnuts. He looked around in a daze. Qyburn had at some point moved to the other side of the hut and was putting together a bag of knickknacks. A wax plate for notes, a writing needle, a stack of papers held with iron rings, charcoal sticks, a measuring tape and various other instruments. Feeling like an intruder, Luwin looked away, though he’d have had to shut his eyes completely to avoid taking in the rest of the hut.

    It was quite the place. For all that the maester was housed alone, the hut was actually quite spacious. There were two stools, two folding tables, two sets of bedding, two of everything really, along with half a dozen plank mats laid out for other bedrolls or bodies to lay down. But then, there would have to be, wouldn’t there? Qyburn had fallen into the role of camp physician. How many of the guards had passed under this same roof? How many more would? Had Lord Stark himself sat where he now sat? No, Qyburn would have gone to him, not the other way around. Unless Lord Stark wanted to make some point or other? How much of this was a test, really? And if it wasn’t, did that mean the man somehow trusted Qyburn more than he did his master? But how could anyone think Marwyn was any less relia-

    “I’m guessing the Archmaester is off pre-empting potential future problems in his usual manner.”

    Luwin choked and spat out the tea, coughing violently.

    “Oh dear!” Qyburn balked, rushing back to steady him. “Oh dear, oh dear, I am so sorry young one.” He knelt down and began wiping him clean with his sleeve. “Perhaps things are not unfolding quite in their usual manner, has the Archmaester…? No,” the old man shook his head before Luwin could protest. “No, he’d never do anything that would send you screaming for help, especially not to a maester after what happened to you. And if it were our hosts who took some manner of offence, I’d have much richer company by now. Lord Stark is much more straightforward than most. In spirit at least.”

    Luwin took a few halting gasps and went to put the mug down. He was shocked he hadn’t dropped it. “I should go,” he rasped.

    Qyburn sighed, but smiled kindly regardless and pushed the cup back. “At least take the tea with you. Would be a shame to waste it.”

    Luwin blinked in surprise and looked at the Maester. Was he not going to insist he stay? He suddenly had to smother a sharp pang of disappointment.

    “Just bring back the mug after.”

    Qyburn sounded outright fatherly but it only made Luwin regret his flighty decision all the more. He cursed his manners for backfiring on him too. Then he loathed himself for needing the succour in the first place. Bad enough he was a gullible fool, now it turned out he was also a craven. He nodded jerkily and rose to leave.

    He was very surprised when Qyburn followed him out.

    “I’ve one last matter to see to as well, nothing to worry about.”

    Luwin watched the man disappear into the evening before going his own way, feeling foolish, embarrassed and twice as raw as when he’d gone in. The urge to flee to the safety of his bedroll was almost overpowering, but Luwin had just seen what happened when he succumbed to panic. Poor judgment was what. Poor enough to go running to the one person in their whole party that was still tied to the ones who’d consigned him to die in the darkness. It was an unfair comparison, but Qyburn had made it himself.

    He decided to walk a full circuit of their latest camp, figuring he’d at least finish the tea before turning in. Even with the wind, the night was relatively mild compared to those before it. By Northern standards at least. He ignored the little voice telling him he was just stalling in the hopes that Marwyn would re-emerge from Lord Stark’s hut safe and sound.

    Luwin held the wooden mug close to his chest, trying to preserve the warmth. It was a thick and solid thing, but delicately carved into the seeming of an eastern serpentine dragon wrapped around it like a sothoryi constrictor. The tip of its tail was the only part unwound from the whole, forming the handle. The whiskered creature gazed at him almost paternally through knowing, snake-like eyes.

    He wasn’t even half-way into his walk when he saw Qyburn again. The maester was with the dogs when he found him, calling them over by name and feeding them treats while checking their paws, their teeth, the girth of their limbs, their weight and other features. Already he’d filled half the wax plate with annotations. Luwin thought back to what he’d glimpsed of the man’s chain. There had certainly been more than one link of brass in them. With each corresponding to one animal, it was far from unlikely that he knew the care and breeding of dogs among whatever other skills he’d gained over his long decades of life.

    Too out of sorts to bother with discretion, Luwin creeped as close as he dared without disrupting the man’s work. The fog had cleared a fair bit and the moonlight was bright enough that even the light reflected off the snow was enough to distinguish some colors, at least when combined with the torchlight. Qyburn seemed to have a tic as well, tugging at his chain every time he finished inspecting or writing down something. Luwin let his eyes linger on it, counting each link as the man spun the chain. That he could do it so naturally was saying a lot, considering it was wrapped around his neck three times. The maester had forged the links in sets, making them easy to count, and even easier for Luwin’s jaw to slacken with each new metal sheen he spotted.

    Two grey steel for blacksmithing. Two black steel for architecture and engineering. Four black iron for ravenry, which meant he could breed and train not just black but white ravens also. Four brass for animal husbandry, four antimony links for survival in the wilds, four mathematics and economics links of yellow gold, even four links of platinum for natural science. There were two red gold for jewelcraft too, perhaps he could finally award Hother the one he deserved? But there were the rarer links there too, which made Luwin feel rather inadequate the more of them he saw. Four white gold links in alchemy. Four zinc in languages. Two links in Valyrian steel for magic and mysteries that Luwin couldn’t even begin to guess at. Five links of lead in diplomacy and politics. Five. How genuine was his manner, really? Could Luwin even tell the difference if he knew? And the crowning work to beggar all that came before, the silver. Numbering six.

    Six silver links. Six. Luwin didn’t even know you could go that high without being Archmaester of healing. It spoke to pushing certain boundaries that weren’t to be crossed. Not without consequences that only that lofty position could shield you from. Three silvers meant you knew and could administer every established cure and treatment. Four meant you knew the experimental ones. Five meant you’d proven at least one of said experimental procedures effective. And six meant that you’d found or created an all-new treatment of your own. Or otherwise advanced the knowledge of healing and the body. There was, in theory, a seventh link for those who discovered something so momentous that the entire field had to be redesigned. But that was just theoretical. Silver wasn’t like zinc, which you earned one of for every language you knew. Or brass, which you got for every type of animal you learned to breed better strains of. Seven silver links was a symbol of the unachievable mastery over life and death that only the gods could claim.

    Ebrose had once tried to make the seven, Luwin recalled from his own learning. Through a treatise on humours based on records of the great spring sickness of 209-210 AC. It coincided with the man earning the Archmaester post, but the findings never held up. The treatments derived from it proved ineffective and even harmful on what ills and pockets of plague they were later attempted on.

    That barely found purchase on Luwin’s mind though. Forty-seven links. Luwin doubted even Marwyn had so many, especially as he was just forty years of age instead of Qyburn’s fifty seven. Forty-seven links. Forty-seven! For all that Luwin himself had learned three links every year, he knew better than to think that was sustainable. At some point you started having to review your existing knowledge lest you fall behind and forget what earned you your links to begin with. How much had Qyburn forgotten? To have collected so many links in so many fields? And if he’d reached his fifties without forgetting most of what he’d learned, then…

    “Well, that’s us done,” Qyburn told the last hound with a pat on the head. The dog licked his fingers. They certainly seemed to like the man. “Same time tomorrow? Good boy, now let me just-eh? Is anyone out there?” Qyburn hunched on himself cautiously, as if expecting a threat despite the army of killer hounds around him and the guards on watch everywhere. “Tom, if you or the boys are out to cause mischief again I’ll ask that-wait, Luwin? Luwin, is that you over there?”

    “How are you not Archmaester?” Luwin blurted, his voice sounding unnaturally loud to his own ears. Looking around furtively as if he’d broken some law by speaking, he scurried over to the improvised pen which surrounded the various dog houses, made of snow blocks like everything else. “How are you not Archmaester? You could earn the links for every other field from skill crossover alone.”

    Qyburn gathered his things and set out for his hut, Luwin in tow. “I’m not certain it’s my place to explain that to you. Has Marwyn not touched on this yet?”

    “Why does everyone treat me like an extension of him? I barely studied under the man before this whole mess!”

    Qyburn thinned his lips at his outburst, not saying anything.

    “I’m sorry, maester, it’s just… I’m so frustrated.”

    “I can see that.” The lack of pardon was a lot more obvious than it once might have been. “To answer your question, it’s politics. As you said. I should have earned links in every subject just from the skill crossover. Assuming I didn’t decide against that recognition, which I assure you I did not, why would I be denied so many worthy extensions to my chain? The Archmaester post is as much a reflection of your knowledge as it is of your influence.”

    It took a moment for the pieces to come together, then Luwin dropped his head and palmed his face with a groan. Because he clearly wasn’t sufficiently disgusted with himself already. Gods, how blind was he that even the politicking right under his own nose escaped him? To be declared Archmaester meant you had the most links in one subject and at least one link in every other subject. Of course other maesters and Archmaesters would hem and haw whenever someone vied for such a post. Why wouldn’t they squeeze every aspirant for personal favors? And what if they felt threatened? Marwyn had all but spelled it out to him and the others too.

    “Try not to worry about it too much?” Qyburn awkwardly tried to console him. “It’s not exactly you it reflects poorly on, you know, that the Conclave doesn’t live up to its good name.”

    “I appreciate the thought maester,” Luwin said, all but clinging to the tea mug. “But that doesn’t change that fact I apparently lack all shreds of discernment.”

    “Now don’t say that…”

    “I’m starting to think I should’ve just stayed home.” The words felt bitter on his tongue. “Become a tradesman like my father and be done with it.”

    “That would have been a waste.”

    “Would it?” Luwin found himself unable to withhold the tide of frustration anymore. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s best I went far away from the family business. I can’t imagine what I’d have done to match this selective blindness I seem to possess now. Maybe I’d have become the first trader to think coin somehow isn’t the lifeblood of commerce, that would’ve been a riot. Because I can’t imagine what else would be preposterous enough to match this.”

    “Ah, but it isn’t.”

    “What?”

    “Coin. It is not the lifeblood of commerce.”

    The three gold links in the pouch at his belt seemed to weigh more than all the rest combined all of a sudden. “I’m sorry, maester, but I don’t follow.”

    “Time, Luwin. It all boils down to time. Coin is important, but not the most important or there wouldn’t have been trade at all before the first coin was cast. It’s time that’s important. It doesn’t matter if you get twice the gold for a deal if it takes thrice as long to strike it. Harbor fees have to be paid, guards hired, watchmen bribed, ships maintained…”

    “Oh…” It turned out he’d not quite struck the bottom of the well of idiocy.

    “And it goes even further than that,” Qyburn said, almost enthusiastic now. “The time you spend selling cargo for the perfect price is time you could have spent bringing forth another batch, or doing anything else to your benefit… this applies to everything, not just caravans and ships, but the grain trade, smallfolk labor, even war… Time is the true coin, Luwin. The universal currency that all things follow.”

    “… I’ve done you a disservice, maester,” Luwin said glumly.

    “I don’t see how. We’ve never spoken before this.”

    “That’s part of it. I thought…” He trailed off as they came to a halt at Qyburn’s snow hut. “Well, I thought a lot of stupid things.”

    “But?”

    “You’ve the heart of a teacher.” Luwin immediately felt embarrassed at the admission and hid his face in the mug. Just one last mouthful of tea left. He wished it were more, if only to delay their parting. He seemed to have grown distressingly dependent on authority figures. At least Lord Stark would be happy, Luwin thought gloomily. “Thank you for the lesson.”

    Qyburn seemed surprised, but then his nervousness and awkwardness seemed to evaporate. “You are most welcome.” He looked so pleased at that simple acknowledgment. Luwin wondered how long he’d been denied that simple thing. Come to think of it, he’d never seen his name on any lectures. If he really deserved to be Archmaester but they didn’t- “Then perhaps you’ll accept another lesson. One I actually mean to give this time.”

    “Oh,” Luwin was so surprised he nearly forgot to give the man his cup back. “Of course!”

    Qyburn accepted his mug, stood there looking at him uncertainly – wondering if he should invite him back inside perhaps? – then he nodded sharply and steadied himself as if to- “Then my lesson is this: don’t bother with prophecies.”

    Luwin blinked, taken aback.

    “I’ve no way of knowing what all occurred to leave you in this state, but I’m assuming at least some of it has to do with that dwarf woman at High Heart.”

    “… I suppose?” He’d not seen this change of topic coming at all. “Marwyn says that a prophecy is like a treacherous woman who takes your member in her mouth and makes you moan from the pleasure only to then… well, bite your prick off.” Luwin looked away, feeling the heat of a blush fill his face. “Or that’s the gist of the quote he gave at least. Gorghan of Old Ghis, or so he says.”

    “Indeed,” Qyburn said, pretending not to notice his embarrassment. “Did he explain why?”

    “No.” Not that he had much time with the raven and Lord Stark and-

    “I respect the Archmaester greatly, and his way of guiding one to truth and self-discovery is to be revered. But I disagree with him on this. Of those things he considers a pinnacle of insight one should strive towards, I believe some work better as foundation. Especially for people like you who are still building it. This, then, is the lesson: don’t bother with prophecies. The only ones fit to interpret them are those who make them. Or they would be, if they weren’t all driven insane by their own gift.”

    Luwin blinked at the other man. “Alright, I think.”

    Qyburn shook his head and looked stern for once. “Don’t just agree. There is good reason for what I’m telling you. Can you tell what it is?”

    He really did have this in common with Marwyn. “My surety in my own reasoning has taken a rather harsh beating recently.”

    “Then know this. Wherever prophecy comes from, it ultimately comes through in whatever portents and symbols the prophet understands. So, the dwarf woman. Unless you think in precisely the same way and understand the world through precisely the same terms and symbols and metaphors and half-remembered visions from your dreams, you’re not likely to get anything but poison by trying to use her foretelling for anything.”

    “Oh, that’s what you meant,” Luwin finally understood what he was getting at.

    “Quite so. Whatever information comes, wherever it comes from, it still has to translate in concepts the seer understands and works with. That’s not counting that we can’t even be sure she didn’t deliberately use oblique symbolism just to mess with us, being so old and starved for fresh entertainment. Take this passage for example. ‘I saw the Blind Seer walk beneath warm stars in lockstep with the son of the burned woman and the corpse cutter.’” Luwin forced himself not to react at Qyburn apparently not knowing the Blind Seer in question was right in front of him. “The son of the burned woman and the corpse cutter. Who is the burned woman? Is it any burned woman? If so, why single her out? Is it Jenny of Oldstones who was supposedly her friend and died at Summerhall? But then who is the corpse cutter whose son the Blind Seer will walk in lockstep with, whatever that means? Or perhaps the passage doesn’t even mean that? Maybe it means that the burned woman’s son will walk with the Blind Seer and a completely unrelated corpse cutter that never met any of them even once in their life. In which case it may as well be any necromancer or silent sister or maester or cannibal, or just some random brigand who finds pleasure in cutting up dead bodies.” Or maybe it’s you, Luwin thought but didn’t say. “Do you see my point?”

    “I do,” Luwin answered, already thinking about the rest and how little time he’d spent not thinking about it all since High Heart. The god of whales? What did that even mean? A banner? A house crest? An Ibbenese whaling ship? And the king that was promised, promised by who? For what? It really was all just a downward spiral of madness, wasn’t it? “Thank you, Maester. I think I might actually be able to rest tonight.” It wasn’t even a lie. He felt lighter than he did before their conversation now that he no longer felt the need to dwell on the whole thing. Not that it was all or even most of what was currently stressing him, but it was a load off his soul.

    “I hope I helped at least a little,” Qyburn said, clearly knowing the direction Luwin’s thoughts had gone. “Goodnight, Luwin. Be well.”

    “Goodnight, Maester. Thank you again.”

    Luwin thought to what he’d seen in the Glass Candle. If what Qyburn said applied to everything that came through another person’s mind, did that vision come through in portents and symbols Luwin understood, or those of the other party works by? The one that remotely ignited the candle through… soul sacrifice? What were those weirwood tears even supposed to be?

    He slept poorly that night, but at least it made it easy to keep the fire going. Not that they needed it with so many warm bodies packed so close together. His dreams were brief and fleeting. The only one he could recall was a glimpse of Rickard Stark using that unusual hand drill to dig holes into the weirwood trunks at High Heart all the way into the ground. Luwin wasn’t sure that wasn’t just his tired mind conjuring memories though. Lord Rickard and his men had spent the better part of their first day there doing that. Drilling holes through the middle of the bone-white stumps and then digging through them into the ground below with those strange scissor-shovels they called postholers. And every time they were done, they’d drop new weirwood seeds inside and cover them with the same soil and wood chips they’d dug up.

    Luwin wondered how many times others must have tried to replant those trees only for nothing to come of it. He wondered if those tools had been made just for that reason. By that child of the forest or whatever it was.

    The call-up was startling when it finally came. Luwin didn’t waste time on the morning meditation or exercises or even helping with the cooking. He rose, left the hut before anyone else more than rubbed at their eyes and rushed straight for Marwyn’s, crawling inside without even bothering to call a warning. “Master Marwyn!”

    Marwyn was mid-way through tying the straps on his jerkin and gave startled “Oof!” when Luwin all but plowed into him.

    “You’re alive!” Luwin didn’t even try to stand up and hugged him around the middle. “I’m so glad.”

    “For Others’ sake,” Marwyn grunted, hugging him back to steady him. “You left home far too young, I swear. Soon as you’re back I expect you to squeeze your parents for every hug and headpat you’re owed, you hear me boy?”

    “Yes, master,” Luwin mumbled into the man’s belly, eyes moist from sheer relief. “Anything you want.”

    “Want! Want! Want!”

    Luwin flinched and looked wildly for the source of the call. He found it in the form of a familiar white raven. It was looking at him from a new perch right behind where the maester stood.

    “Ignore it.”

    Luwin allowed himself to be guided to a nearby stool but found that he couldn’t, in fact, ignore anything. “Master, what happened?”

    “Lord Stark’s turned exactingly thorough in questioning the dreams and visions we’ve been having.” The archmaester peeled a sourleaf off a bale, shoved it in his mouth, and began to chew it as he always did. “He’d been calling on me for various things already, but now he’s right persnickety. Not entirely uninformed on portents and symbols either. Unwilling to trust me to mind my own business as of today too, can you imagine? This here bird’s gonna be spending most of its time with me from now on, to keep an eye on me.”

    “You said you’d murder Lord Stark’s servant and you got a pet,” Luwin said flatly. “That’s it?”

    “What, being watched at all times isn’t enough? I literally went and said I was ready and willing to murder on behalf of him and his, all out of the goodness of my heart. Any other highborn would’ve been won over right there. Instead, Lord Stark’s turned all suspicious and wary of my noble intentions! Had the nerve to say I’ve no business questioning who he trusts or not. Bah! Withholding information on whoever or whatever’s been working magic on his supposed behalf does not stand him in good stead. I’d not’ve let it go if I were on my own. He’d be mad to think I’d even consider it when I have you all to look after too. Oh, he feels protective towards this unknown asset? Well so am I towards mine, don’t you know. I’m not sworn to him, most of you still aren’t either by his own decision, and I’d bet on my judgement being better than his any day of the year!”

    And he just goes and says so? Luwin looked uncomfortably between Marwyn and the bird watching them.

    “Don’t get your bunghole in a pucker. Lord Stark doesn’t skinchange as much as you’d think. If I were a lesser man I’d maybe fret over the suspicion that he might be watching. As is, though, this here bunch of feathers is just a mildly useful drain on my supply of corn.”

    “Corn! Corn! Corn!”

    “Gotta say, though,” Marwyn reached into a pouch and held out a handful of kernels for the bird to eat. “It’s quite the thing to have the Warden of the North himself eating from the palm of my hand.”

    The raven ate and ate the corn and did not reply.

    “So…” Luwin tried not to show how light-headed he was becoming from the strange… non-resolution to everything. “Where does it leave us exactly?”

    “Since Stark won’t tell me anything about his pet sorcerer or whatever it is, I’ve decided to follow your judgment and defer judgment until we actually know something.”

    Luwin hoped he didn’t fail too badly at hiding how honoured he was that-

    “Don’t push it down, boy. When you deserve to feel proud, feel proud.”

    Oh…

    “Work on that more.”

    “Right.” The well-meaning rebuke only made Luwin feel embarrassed all over again though. “I can do that.”

    “And I’m the God-King of Ib. You’re eons away from that sort of occult comprehension. We’ll work on it together.”

    The occult was about pride? How had he not come across this in all his studies? “Right,” Luwin mumbled, not knowing what else to do but repeat himself. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “So what now?”

    “Now we get ready for the road, what else?”

    “Wait, so we just go on as normal?”

    “Unfortunately,” Marwyn grunted, finishing kitting up and starting to pack the rest of his things. “Blasted highborn even had the nerve to change the terms of our private deal. Said he doesn’t trust me not to pull a runner once I get my end fulfilled. The nerve! I may not go out of my way looking for devils, but I’d never step out of my path to let one go by! Feh.” Marwyn spat a gob of red phlegm aside. It looked like a blood splatter on the white snow.

    “… I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

    “Bribery,” Marwyn said dryly. “Worry over you greenhorns aside, Stark didn’t get me to come along just on the merit of his frosty personality. He somehow knew or guessed enough about me to make the deal personal.”

    Luwin still had no idea what Marwyn was talking about but he was done admitting ignorance for one day.

    “Half the roof of my mouth is one huge, pus-filled carbuncle,” Marwyn said, easily reading him as usual, to Luwin’s dismay. “Can barely move my tongue without smacking into it. You think I chew sourleaf because I like looking like a sothoryi blood drinker? It’s fucking painful is what it is. Sometimes I tap it, but that only works when it’s really swollen up and it needs to be a fairly thick pin to do anything, which hurts like the Stranger’s own buggering. I believe you can see the problem?”

    Somehow, the notion that Marwyn suffered from such a common ailment was the hardest thing to believe out of everything.

    “Not that this dentistry Stark talked about is likely to be any gentler. Those tools look like something out of a Bolton’s randy fantasies, I swear.”

    Wait, what? “… What’s this about House Bolton? What do you know about them?”

    “Lad, I was out traveling for eight years and change. You think I didn’t walk about my backyard before I went off east? I’d never have gotten such a bug up my arse about firewater if I hadn’t visited the North. The Boltons realized long ago that coating their blades in booze makes their victims last longer before they caught the pus. A lot of things go into properly flaying a person, especially if you want to keep them alive more than their screams last. Not that I got to see or try for myself of course.”

    “… That you can talk so blithely about this is absolutely horrifying.”

    “And the world is better off for their passing, yes, yes. Don’t give me that look, boy! People paid in soul-crushing agony so we’d learn that dipping your knife in strong drink works something like Myrish fire, just not as well. Not until I perfected my firewater, which is actually better and I’ll have a grand old time throwing it in Myr’s face once I market it, seeing as that’s an option now. Ghoulish as some customs may be, you shouldn’t dismiss a potential avenue of progress just because the ones who stumbled upon it were sick fucks deserving to die in a fire. You may as well not extract arrowheads or amputate limbs or sew wounds shut because the ones who first figured out the make of the body got hanged as necromancers. Did you ever ask Qyburn how he earned his first link of Valyrian?”

    Luwin desperately tried to keep up with every change in topic. “Should I have? All it takes is studying the known records and theory about magical practices, no?”

    “That’s what I do with young and idealistic children whose sense of wonder wouldn’t survive the real world. Qyburn was almost fifty when he got the bug. Ask him why, and then ask him how he started on the path. It’s nothing like you believe.”

    Was anything like he believed in this mad world? “I’ll remember to ask him.”

    “Good. Well, that’s me ready,” Marwyn said, having finished packing his things. “I’m going to take apart this hut now. Unless there’s anything else that can’t wait, you should go break your fast and pack up as well.” Marwyn then began punching holes in the walls. It was its own form of training, supposedly.

    “Well… there is one thing.”

    “Go on then.”

    “The answer is yes.”

    Marwyn blinked and stopped with his arm elbow-deep in snow.

    “You asked me if I still want to learn of the higher mysteries. The answer is yes. I want to learn everything you can teach me.”

    “Denied.”

    Understandable, he’ll just wish him a nice day and-wait, no it wasn’t! “What? But why?”

    “The paths occult are walked with will, boy, not emotion. If you think I’ll mistake this emotional decision for conviction you’ve got another thing coming.”

    Luwin sputtered and spluttered and whined and argued until the hut was in ruins around them.

    “Enough,” Marwyn bit, spitting another gob of red.

    Luwin shut up. Marwyn had never lost patience with him before. Ever.

    “Were this Asshai, your attitude would get you enslaved and turned into cattle for the Houses of the Shadowbinders. You’re lucky I’m not actually an evil man and I believe enthusiasm like yours is to be cherished. But I will not accept that answer until I know you choice wasn’t made under duress.”

    Luwin felt his frustration fill his insides all over again. “Master, look,” Luwin said, pushing down his bubbling anger before it made him say things he’ll regret. “I know I’ve not lived up to your standards. Or anyone’s really. I fell in with the wrong crowd. I needed you to rescue me from them. I haven’t done shit on this journey. I didn’t set out to learn anything about our party. I didn’t offer to be camp healer. It didn’t occur to me that I should look after the others, Hother and Mullin had to sort everyone else out instead. I’m one of the older acolytes in this mess and one of the most educated besides, but it didn’t occur to me that I should assume any responsibility. I’m ready to stop being that person. Please,” Luwin pled. “Believe me.”

    “I do, lad,” Marwyn sighed, trying to shoo the white raven off with little success. “But as nice as that is, self-awareness is just half of what you need.

    “I’ve found my center.”

    Marwyn stopped in surprise.

    Luwin was surprised at blurting that out too. But he was even more proud at finally scoring a victory, no matter how small. “I’ve found it. It only took Lord Stark’s exercises to do it. I feel a warmth in my chest, a vibration up and down my spine and a glimmer of something behind my eyes when I breathe to a stop like he showed us. When I just stand still and focus inward.”

    “Do you really?” Marwyn murmured, though his eyes were hooded with something far different than whatever Luwin had hoped to see. “If that’s true, then I’m only more convinced of my decision.”

    “What? Why?” Luwin demanded. “What do you want from me?”

    “Clarity and Will, Luwin.” Marwyn said as if the conversation was over, turning to kick around the blocky piles of snow his hut had once been. “Not emotion. Not even conviction. Will. If you ever reach the point where I need more than four words to destroy your entire system of beliefs, then I’ll consider it.”

    “What is that supposed to mean?”

    “I cannot work spells.”

    The world scattered into its components pieces suddenly, then it abruptly snapped back into place and none of the pieces seemed to fit anymore despite being unchanged.

    Marwyn turned to him with the gravest, darkest stare Luwin had ever seen. “Self-awareness is just one puzzle piece of several before you can make any claim of clarity. Awareness of the world. Awareness of others. Awareness of other’s lack of awareness of themselves. You’re still so very dependent on the spoken word too, for all of this. As prone to losing your composure and questioning your own beliefs as you’ve always been. Would you like me to throw out some more mind-twisters? Parenting is emotionally manipulating your children so they don't grow up to be savages, convicts or corpses. Diplomacy is the art of telling someone to go fuck himself so elegantly that he packs for the trip. Artists use lies to tell the truth while Septons use the truth to tell lies. The Iron Throne can’t find its arse without mistaking one for the other, but it still stands today because the difference between brilliance and insanity is success. I could go on and on and on, but what’s the point? Any one of these statements is enough to get you bogged down in a downward spiral of arguments and counter-arguments, none of which you’d need to make without that sudden onset of self-doubt. Perfect for a Shadowbinder’s Vessel or a sorcerer’s slave. Not so much for someone who wants to be themselves for themselves.”

    Luwin heard the words and the sense in the words and knew they held a message that should make sense to someone who heard the words in that order. But whatever the purpose in that speech… it went completely over his head. His ability to care about it had completely left him, along with his ability to care about everything else after those four words that preceded it. “You’re a fraud?”

    Marwyn’s wan smile was that of someone holding back the brittle mien of disappointment in a student they’d put their hopes in.

    Luwin immediately wished he could take his words back. “Master, I…”

    “Ask me an honest question and I'll give you an honest answer,” Marwyn said, walking to his satchel and digging through it. “If you don't want an honest answer, let me know and tell me what kind of answer you want.”

    Luwin tried to find words for… something. But he couldn’t. He found himself unable to even form a thought, let alone articulate something as complicated as a question.

    Their meeting ended unceremoniously, with Marwyn walking over and shoving something in Luwin’s arms that almost made him fall off his feet. It was a dark bag of… something deceptively heavy.

    “People seldom care what others think. They only want to know what happens to them,” Marwyn said, sending him on his way with a gaze that was as heavy as it was unreadable. “You are not exceptional enough to be different.”

    Luwin left in a daze.

    It was only when his feet took him to the firepit without any conscious direction that he learned what he was given. Not through any curiosity of his own, but because of everyone else’s. All the acolytes and guards and everyone partaking of the morning meal save Marwyn and Qyburn and Lord Stark himself, wherever they were. Guard Captain Rus was standing to the side with a plate in hand and barking orders. Guardsman Tom played his lute as badly as usual. Ryben was making ribald jokes. Hother corralled Luwin in his usual manner, only to stop in surprise after divesting him of his burden. The moment the tall Northman looked inside marked the end of fireside chatter and saw everyone staring in disbelief at the long, long, long length of chain that grew to take up the entire surface of the hastily cleared serving table.

    Three links in mining and the same in ravenry. Four each in warcraft, jewelcraft and architecture and engineering. Five silver for healing. Five platinum in natural sciences. Five again in smithing. Six bronze in astronomy. Six copper in history. Six antimony links for wild lore and survival. Another six in mathematics and economics. Then there were seven in alchemy made of white gold and a full ten of zinc for languages. That was one link more than Luwin thought you could go. High Valyrian, Old Ghiscari, Dothraki, Lhazareen, Summer Tongue, Ibbenese, Rhoynar, Old Tongue, the man must know them all and maybe the Spell Langauge of Asshai, but even then it was just nine. And it couldn’t be explained through regional variation because you didn’t earn a link until you could at least get by in all sub-dialects.

    “Lads,” Harmune said, sounding ill. “My humours are about to go into extreme imbalance.” The boy rushed out of their huddle and puked everything he’d just had for breakfast.

    “Watch it!” snarled guardsman Rys, barely avoiding his boots getting soiled, but he didn’t do more than that. He was astounded too.

    “Spank me rosy,” Ryben mumbled, for once ignoring the drama around him. “Old bastard must have gone and learned every language known to man until the world ran out of tongues. What, did he give himself a link in Trade Talk just to round up the number? How old is our oh so venerable Archmaester again?”

    “Forty,” Luwin said flatly.

    “We’re fucking chumps!” Hother said, squatting down on a stump disgustedly.

    They really were. How many links a year did Marwyn earn? Because he’d obviously never stopped! And he’d even been out traveling for the past eight years, how much did his practical experience account for out of them? And how did he keep all that knowledge in order? Hells, did he retain even half of it? Seventy-four links! And that didn’t even count the individual links in every other topic taught at the citadel, which were all there as expected of his post. Luwin wondered if even those accurately reflected the man’s aptitudes and skills. He refused to believe that lone link of lead in diplomatic acumen was anything but deceptive.

    When the last of their party finally assembled for their departure, there was not one eye that didn’t stare at Marwyn when the man came to retrieve his chain.

    “I trust you’ve all had enough of an eyeful?” the squat man grunted as he stuffed the bag into his satchel. The valyrian steel rod on his back and the mask hanging from his belt glinted tauntingly in the morning sun. How many Valyrian steel links did Marwyn once have before he replaced them with those symbols of office? And how did he get them? Were they already there? Did he make them himself? “Don’t break your brains thinking too much about it. You’re better off asking yourselves why the hells we Archmaesters lock ourselves in our towers instead of going out and using all we know for something that’s actually useful. Pinnacles of the exceptional, hah! The pinnacle wastes of space in the entire world if you ask me.”

    Luwin watched the shine of the smoky metal, then looked from rod and mask to the ring on Marwyn’s finger. The Archmaester liked to twist it when his hands weren’t otherwise busy, Luwin thought suddenly. He wondered if there was more than an idle tic to read into it. Wondered if he was mad to dwell on something so minor now.

    He wondered why Marwyn suddenly decided to reveal the make of his chain, assuming it wasn’t just as a slap in Luwin’s face for so abruptly assuming the worst of him.

    “Now you all listen to me,” the Archmaester said to the acolytes as if Lord Stark and his guards weren’t all within hearing distance. The white raven on his shoulder mirrored the way his gaze roamed over them. “No matter how this turns out, I’ll take care of you boys.” The man let his gaze linger half a moment longer on Tybald and Rhodry. Which would have been fine and likely passed without anyone else noticing if the two in question had been half as discrete as they were observant. “Alright?”

    “I don’t want your pity,” Rhodry said.

    “Then you’re a fool,” Marwyn flatly replied as if Rhodry hadn’t just screamed out that he was in a more vulnerable position than anyone else. “Pity is good and right. It shows there’s something wrong in the world that should be mended. It shows that you’ve earned the compassion of another thinking being. Pity rules the lives of millions. It’s why you’re still alive. It’s why I’m still alive.”

    Rhodry looked like he wanted to say something else but Mullin’s hand on his head stopped him. For his part, Luwin wondered if Marwyn was referring to the prior night or something older.

    “I’m glad that’s settled,” Marwyn said as if he hadn’t just set them up for a potential future conflict of loyalty between Lord Stark and himself. It was so easy to assume the worst of the man now, Luwin thought bitterly. “We’ll be in our new home soon. I wanted to make sure you knew to call on me when you need to. You’ve been relying on Luwin to act as spokesperson a tad much.” Translation: Luwin is not fit to be your spokesperson anymore. He hoped he was wrong to take it that way, but… “And Mama Umber will be there for you when I’m busy.”

    Marwyn, it seemed, was so very much not upset over their disastrous conversation that he freely japed with the others.

    “Fuck you, Maester,” Hother muttered.

    “Now that’s no way to be rising in my esteem.”

    “Rising? Esteem!?” Hother thundered like a man who’d just had all his expectations upturned. “You wanna see how well I can raise my case, esteemed Archmaester?”

    “Umber, dear, I do get off on power but you don’t have near enough to be getting on with.”

    Luwin boggled. So shameless! Not that it was completely outside his usual behaviour, but if Marwyn was like this now, what kind of creature would he be once he got rid of those bad teeth and gum sores that pained him so badly?

    Their departure was one of flustered faces, outraged squawks and embarrassed sputtering that only Luwin was too out of sorts to indulge in.
     
    Last edited:
    Chapter 6: All Dwarves Are Not Created Equal (VI)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    “-. 274 AC .-“

    They put away their skis once they reached the Neck. Instead, they were met by a group of crannogmen who escorted them through the region on foot. Well, on snow shoes at least, though their escorts didn’t seem to need them, being so small and slight that the snow supported their weight even without that help. They looked like soundless shadows in their oilskin cloaks as they moved amidst the dense thickets. Seeing them at work, Luwin could understand why some people thought they were kin to the Children of the Forest. Especially the youngest among them, the son of their head guide who was just ten years old. Not that it was true of course. Even if Men and Children could interbreed, which all credible sources agreed they couldn’t, the blood wold have thinned so much since the Age of Heroes as to make the point moot.

    At first it was less a marshland and more a boggy forest, with trees that looked half-drowned in frozen water and covered in pale fungus that glittered in the frost. The more they moved north, though, the more the foliage changed to shrubbery and slurry marsh. Luwin had passed through the region many years before, when he first travelled to the Citadel, but age and learning made it easy now to understand why the Neck could just as easily be called the Strangler. The black bog of the Neck divided the North from the rest of the Seven Kingdoms. To the west was the large forest and a peninsula containing Flint's Finger, the Flint Cliffs, and Cape Kraken, while to the east was the Bite, the long bay of eastern Westeros dividing the North from the Vale of Arryn. North of the Neck were the Barrowlands, where ancient kings up to the very First King of the First Men were said to be entombed. And to the south were the Twins, Seagard, and the Cape of Eagles in the Riverlands. The Green Fork of the Trident originated in the Neck as well.

    They didn’t have to worry overmuch about some of the natural hazards, unlike any other seasons that got really troublesome for various reasons. They didn’t get harassed by midges and bloodflies or any other stinging flies, for one. They didn’t need to fear the bog waters that much either, since they’d have to break through the ice before they could drown or sink into the quicksands. But slipping on the ice was its own killer, and the place still held lizard-lions, snakes and dozens of varieties of huge plant life. They ranged from mild irritants like poison kisses, to not so mild predators that could melt the flesh off your bones. Not all of the beasts and plants hibernated or withered in cold times either, they were told. Not the whole way through. It all was quite important because they did not always stick to the Kingsroad. Or, really, the increasingly narrow causeway, as it was called there. The swamp had invaded it with every springmelt and summer floods since the Kingsroad was first built. The Reeds of Greywater Watch did what they could to maintain it, but nature did as nature willed.

    Luwin imagined it was a mirror of the same process that saw a coniferous forest be steadily overrun by marshlands after the Children’s failed bid to recreate the hammer of the waters, thousands of years before. On being asked, their guide confirmed it, and the small man’s even smaller son regaled them with an in-depth lecture on the hows and whys. Quite confidently too. Despite his young age, Howland Reed already seemed to know everything about the deathtrap they unfortunately had no choice but to wade through. It explained why Lord Stark didn’t mind him playing pathfinder, despite the strange face he’d made upon the boy’s introduction.

    Their progress slowed dramatically compared to their journey up to that point, but no one grumbled, especially after guardsman Bors told them what he went through after he wandered after a wisp during watch one night, on the way south. Which, the tiny crannog boy explained, was just the flash of swamp gas escaping through the bog and momentarily igniting.

    “It’s all the flint stones scattered about,” little Howland told them. “They get knocked together by the burst. Long as you’re not in the middle of it when they go off, you’ll be fine.”

    “Yes,” Lord Stark said with the air of one indulging an inside joke. “Mind you don’t get gaslighted.”

    That was a strange word. Fitting as any other though, Luwin supposed.

    They spent a whole day at Moat Cailin, which Luwin mostly slept away. Then they resumed their trek, slow and steady until they finally left the marshes and their guides behind, only then resuming their previous speed. Luwin tried to keep himself busy. Things with Marwyn were still awkward since he refused to teach him more of the Mysteries, even though the man never said Luwin couldn’t go to him for anything else. He’d normally have sought out new books to read or maesters to study under. But Oldtown’s libraries and lecture halls were far behind him now, and he’d grown as familiar as he was likely to get with his fellow acolytes. He approached Qyburn once, briefly, about him sharing some of his knowledge on health and healing. Instead, he found out how Qyburn earned his first Valyrian steel link.

    “Once, at the Citadel, I came into an empty room and saw an empty chair,” Qyburn told him with a strange look. “Yet I knew a woman had been there, only a moment before. The cushion was dented where she'd sat, the cloth was still warm, and her scent lingered in the air. If we leave our smells behind us when we leave a room, surely something of our souls must remain when we leave this life?” Qyburn spread his hands. “The archmaesters did not like my thinking, but Marwyn did, and he invited me to partake of a certain brew he’d developed. Well, two really. One made from some sort of leaf, the other made of some ground crystal mixed into a brew as thick as oil but colorless as water. I’ve no words for the journey my soul undertook, and I didn’t quite get my answer as to what we leave behind when we die. Not the first time at least. What I did, however, was see into the world of things that are too small to see.”

    Qyburn had come out of a magical vision as an adherent of Maester German’s much derided theory that disease was caused by tiny creatures invisible to the naked eye.

    “I’ll keep my heretical views for when I can prove them, I think,” Qyburn told him wryly. “Wouldn’t want to sabotage my already flimsy odds of making the seven, you understand.”

    Luwin ended up seeking out the members of their escort instead. And so he learned that Guardsman Tom was a terrible musician plucking at a lute that wasn’t his at all. It actually belonged to guardsman Rys, who’d lost some bet or other to lend him his instrument and teach him how to play it. It had not gone well at all. He found out that Guard Captain Rus was Rys’ older sibling and was possessed of a work ethic exceeded only by his sense of irony, which was responsible for Rys agreeing to that bet in the first place.

    Luwin also got around to watching a training session from start to finish. It was during one of their rare, longer stops in the Barrowlands. It ended up turning into a chain of sparring matches where Mullin beat all but the most seasoned baker’s dozen in Stark’s retinue. In a row. One after another. At their own weapons. Without any rest in between.

    “Others’ tits,” Bors muttered when Mullin’s exhaustion finally got him to falter against one of the veterans of the War of the Ninepenny Kings. A big guard with dark hair and salty beard called Lyndon, armed with a mace. “Is he having us on, trying to be a maester? How’d he make it so long down south without getting knighted?”

    “I honestly don’t know.” Mullin had never said where he came from. Hother had once mentioned that he used to have a Stormlander accent when he first arrived in Oldtown, but Mullin never offered information or answers when asked. Luwin didn’t get the impression that there was any grand tale or tragedy behind it though.

    Lord Stark had started giving Mullin some very peculiar looks too, but he was a fair bit off from actually interpreting the man’s expressions reliably. The Lord began calling on Mullin more and more often too. Called him to ski at his side just behind the biggest, burliest four men-at-arms that always had the head of the column. Luwin wondered if the lord meant to poach him for his guard force, but he doubted it. The odds of anyone establishing an institution capable of successfully competing with the Citadel were ultimately very slim. Having just a dozen or so people to start with, only two of whom were fully qualified, only cut those odds even further. None of them could be spared from the effort, no matter how talented they were at their hobby.

    Well, unless Mullin suddenly decided to switch to a martial path in life, but he’d made no sounds of such a thing.

    It was shaping up to be a fairly dull end to their journey, which only deprived Luwin of distractions from his anxieties. He incited horror stories around the campfire to get some form of release. Alas, that started working rather too well by the end of their long dash across the Barrowlands. Particularly when they began trading dark rumours about cults and religions and Wendamyr shared with them the darker things he’d heard about the Church of Starry Wisdom. ‘Docksite temple sacrifices’ took an all new, sinister cant then.

    Lord Stark happened to be supping with the rest of them at the time, which he’d been doing a lot more of since Moat Cailin for some reason, always with someone new sat to his right. The man inquired into the history of the cult, and answering somehow ended up being Luwin’s job after Marwyn mentioned the information was probably freshest in his mind. Technically true, he’d gained his Valyriain steel link quite recently, to say nothing of his copper ones. Luwin was already regretting his grand distraction plan, but it wasn’t like he could refuse Lord Stark’s order, even if it wasn’t phrased as one.

    “In the beginning, the priestly scribes of Yin declare, all the land between the Bones and the freezing desert called the Grey Waste, from the Shivering Sea to the Jade Sea, including even the great and holy isle of Leng, formed a single realm ruled by the God-on-Earth, the only begotten son of the Lion of Night and Maiden-Made-of-Light, who travelled about his domains in a palanquin carved from a single pearl and carried by a hundred queens, his wives. For ten thousand years the Great Empire of the Dawn flourished in peace and plenty under the God-on-Earth, until at last he ascended to the stars to join his forebears.

    “Dominion over mankind then passed to his eldest son, who was known as the Pearl Emperor and ruled for a thousand years. The Jade Emperor, the Tourmaline Emperor, the Onyx Emperor, the Topaz Emperor, and the Opal Emperor followed in turn, each reigning for centuries... yet every reign was shorter and more troubled than the one preceding it, for wild men and baleful beasts pressed at the borders of the Great Empire, lesser kings grew prideful and rebellious, and the common people gave themselves over to avarice, envy, lust, murder, incest, gluttony, and sloth.

    “When the daughter of the Opal Emperor succeeded him as the Amethyst Empress, her envious younger brother cast her down and slew her, proclaiming himself the Bloodstone Emperor and beginning a reign of terror. He practiced dark arts, torture, and necromancy, enslaved his people, took a tiger-woman for his bride, feasted on human flesh, and cast down the true gods to worship a black stone that had fallen from the sky. Many scholars count the Bloodstone Emperor as the first High Priest of the sinister Church of Starry Wisdom, which persists to this day in many port cities throughout the known world.

    “In the annals of the Further East, it was the Blood Betrayal, as his usurpation is named, that ushered in the age of darkness called the Long Night. Despairing of the evil that had been unleashed on earth, the Maiden-Made-of-Light turned her back upon the world, and the Lion of Night came forth in all his wroth to punish the wickedness of men.

    “How long the darkness endured no man can say, but all agree that it was only when a great warrior—known variously as Hyrkoon the Hero, Azor Ahai, Yin Tar, Neferion, and Eldric Shadowchaser—arose to give courage to the race of men and lead the virtuous into battle with his blazing sword Lightbringer that the darkness was put to rout, and light and love returned once more to the world.”

    When he was done speaking, Luwin dearly hoped no one would mock him for regurgitating a book’s contents like Marwyn had openly derided everyone up to his peers for doing. Fortunately, he got his wish. Not so fortunately, their party spiralled into a discussion about history and myth and forgotten stories that probably shouldn’t have been forgotten at all, even if they were dark and sinister. The mass human sacrifice by the Children of the Forest to the weirwood trees in olden days, before the Pact and even the Hammer of the Waters that sunk the Arm of Dorne into the Narrow Sea. Garth Greenhand and the darker tales where he demanded blood sacrifice in exchange for good harvest. Nagga the sea dragon and the demon tree Ygg of Ironborn myth that gorged on human flesh before being slain by the Grey King. The mysterious race of men known as the mazemakers, who inhabited the isle of Lorath in ancient days but vanished long before the dawn of true history, leaving no trace of themselves save for their bones and the mazes they built. The Deep Ones and the sinister Old Ones they worshipped, whose oily, discordant echoes even now lingered in the great underground cities of Leng, whispered by statues of a faceless emperor with one eye shaped like a shining trapezohedron. The cult’s most holy relic, Wendamyr claimed. If it was true, it had been lost long ago.

    They were but archaeological mysteries twisted by myths of savage times into stories to scare children, but even so they filled Luwin with an inexplicable sense of foreboding that persisted all the way to Castle Cerwyn. The manner of their arrival neither dispelled it nor did it provide closure. It did, however, give him something extra to worry about.

    They reached Cerwyn near midnight. They were fighting exhaustion well before then, all of them from the biggest guardsman to the smallest dog pulling the sleds. Lord Stark decided to push on rather than make a final stop so close to the keep. There was no pageantry when they arrived. There was no Lord waiting in the middle of the yard to welcome them. The castle spotters only saw them when they were almost at the gates due to the blizzard that kicked off. But their party was still ushered into the great hall as soon as the grooms took charge of the dogs. The great doors had long been barred, but a side entrance was open – they’d caught the last of the day shift just as the servants were leaving for bed, and Lord Stark decided that would serve well enough. Luwin was among the last to enter, having lagged behind everyone except the rear guard on the last stretch. Skiing uphill never got easy, even when you went zig and zag, especially when your legs already felt about to come off. Still, he made it, and he welcomed the warmth, with its light, its lingering smells of food and wine, and the reed pipes playing near the far end, next to the lord’ platform. Squeezing around for a better look, Luwin was just in time to see Lord Stark gesture for them not to interrupt or disturb. Luwin was too dumbstruck to attempt such things regardless. Not by the sight of the Lord and his wife sitting with their back at the entrance. Not by the sight of their son playing a most curious set of reed pipes across the firepit from them. Or the unknown woman sitting nearby and watching the man with hooded bedroom eyes. Luwin wasn’t even taken aback by the small boy next to the singer, even though he was covered in a grey cloak with white fur lining made for a man full grown. To have such a tiny anklebiter making notes on paper whenever the lordling hit a false note should have at least surprised him, but it didn’t. No, it was the girl.

    Ambinata in siraxta
    Cailon areuedons in nemesi
    Satiion branon tosagiíet uo moudas


    The young girl singing in Old Tongue to the reedy tunes. Of flying spears, great fires, destiny and dark wings that beckoned in forlornness, leading sign in the sky, flock of ravens looming under the clouds.

    Exete 'os brane exete 'os
    Etic laxsci 'os aidu laxsci 'os
    Etic toage gariíon toage
    Etic uregepe tunceton


    Luwin heard the words and knew the words and could even make a good guess at what they were supposed to convey in translation, but he didn’t care because all his wits had been shaken by the sight of her.

    He knew that girl.

    Luwin stood there staring until the girl’s latest skipping twirl left her facing them and she stumbled to a halt with a squeal. “Papa!”

    The boy shot out of his chair like a spinning meteor, swung his father’s great cloak above him like the Lion of Night’s own shroud, then swept it wide to catch his sister’s feet on its hem just so.

    Lyanna Stark faceplanted in the middle of Castle Cerwyn’s Great Hall.

    “Ha!” Benjen Stark crowed. “I told you so! I told you he’d be here tonight, but noooo, big sister always knows best! Well I was right!”

    “I’ll murder you!”

    “Gasp!” Benjen Stark ‘gasped’ and threw the Stark cloak in her face like a funeral shroud, then jumped over her when she went under. “Dad, save me!”

    “Get back here you little insect!”

    The little wolf pup with his little grey eyes laughed at his shrieking his sister from where he bounced around his father’s feet in his shadow.

    Lord Rickard Stark lost his composure for the first time in Luwin’s memory, bursting into laughter and kneeling down to embrace his two children. Luwin had eyes for none of it. The scene stabbed at him with the worst pang of homesickness he’d ever felt in in his life. He wanted to go home, back to the Citadel with its winding roads and sphinxes and towering bookshelves and observatories. But even that was ultimately secondary. His mind’s eye turned backwards, to memory and fancy that had just proven to have been less fanciful than he ever thought.

    He recognized the boy’s laughter. He recognized the girls’ face.

    He’d not even set foot in Winterfell and he was already dreaming Starks.



    “-. 274 AC .-“

    That night he dreamed of stone buildings, cobbled streets and a butcher’s cart rumbling past him down a familiar river road, five piglets in the back squealing in distress. Dodging from its path, Luwin just avoided being spattered as a townswoman emptied a pail of night soil from a window overhead, only to trip on a stone out of the dream’s green glow into red sunlight. Streaks of red burned away the grey and green like a forest fire gorging on moss and fir pines. That was when the world suddenly fell from under him, or perhaps he was the one falling. Falling up into the sky as Oldtown took form around him, emerging ghostlike from the predawn gloom as winter melted into summer and sunbeams pierced the morning mists. Luwin had never seen King’s Landing, but he knew it was a daub-and-wattle city, a sprawl of mud streets, thatched roofs, and wooden hovels. Oldtown was built in stone, though, and all its streets were cobbled, down to the meanest alley. The city was never more beautiful than at break of day. Luwin used to watch it from their cell’s small window in the early hours, thinking it the grandest view he’d ever seen. It had nothing on the vista below him now, rapidly expanding to all corners of the world the higher he fell away from it. West of the Honeywine, the Guildhalls lined the bank like a row of palaces. Upriver, the domes and towers of the Citadel rose on both sides of the river, connected by stone bridges crowded with halls and houses. Downstream, below the black marble walls and arched windows of the Starry Sept, the manses of the pious clustered like children gathered round the feet of an old dowager.

    And beyond, where the Honeywine widened into Whispering Sound, rose the Hightower, its beacon fires bright as wildfire against the dawn. From where it stood atop the bluffs of Battle Island, its shadow cut the city like a sword. Those born and raised in Oldtown could tell the time of day by where that shadow fell. Some claimed a man could see all the way to the Wall from the top. Perhaps that was why the Hightowers had built it so high up from the original fortress, that wide, squat labyrinth built of fused black stone. Or perhaps they just liked to rule their city from the clouds. If that was true, Luwin could well see why. The higher he got, the smaller things became until he was seeing just the sharp tops of white mountains and the grey pinpoints of castles. The land itself seemed to climb up the edges of the sky until they covered the heavens themselves, like the inside of a hollow world surrounding the sun that pulled him forward. And where there wasn’t land, there were the seas, stretching out into the distance until even they tapered out into oily black horizons, sometimes smoothly, sometimes broken through by towering black fortresses and grey wastes filled with blight. He could even see the Wall now, and then around it to the forests beyond the closer he got to the red sun high up in the center of the sky, scorching the world below with flames that grew thicker and hotter as he plummeted upward and eastward, eastward, east-

    Lightning struck him suddenly. The sky was clear but the bolt still split the heavens apart like the Storm God’s own whipcord. A strong gale took him. The red haze around him was suddenly gone and he started falling back towards the ground. A distant roar sounded from the other side of the world as if screamed by an angry dragon. Then there was an eagle’s cry, clawed forelimbs snatched him out of the air in a blur of feathers, and he felt himself pulled westward and northward with impossible speed until he was suddenly launched down, plummeting towards a massive keep with square crenellations and sharp towers that stuck out like spears into the sky and which he recognized on sight.

    The last thing he saw before he fell below the horizon was the Hightower. The Hightower as it was before the Targaryens, he somehow knew with the certainty of the dream. Before the Targaryens, before the Andals, before even the First Men when it wasn’t even called Hightower because it wasn’t a tower at all. Oldtown was but scattered shipyards, the Raven’s Isle was a pirate den, and the cries of newborn hatchlings reached him from the fortress labyrinth upon which roosted dragons, mighty and full grown.

    Luwin came awake to the soul-deep certainty that none of what he’d dreamt had been allegory. Death was waiting for him, sitting across the pool of black water on the bone-white root of a great Heart Tree ancient beyond imagining. But even that vision was washed away under a billow of sea water taller than a hill. Luwin found himself sputtering wetly, face-down against a floor made of planks. They were laid fore and aft over beams and along carlins, their seams caulked and paid with tar. The shadows of three masts covered him, though there was no red sun looking to carry him away anywhere amidst the starry darkness of the sky. Looking up, he saw Death land cautiously on the ship’s figurehead. It was a carving shaped like three small, shy, gentle-faced creatures with their hands and feet nailed to the hull, so white he didn’t know if it was wood or bone. Then, footsteps came from behind him, stomp by stomp by stomp and Luwin realized the edges of the world were etched in the shape of a familiar trapezohedron.

    “Let me be clear.” Marwyn stepped in front of him, a sentry with the mane of a lion, his rod alight with pale fire and his whole bulk armored for war. “You will not spy on those I’ve claimed. You will not enter their dreams uninvited. You will use no workings on them without their consent and my consent. You will suffer these demands or you will suffer me.”

    Death unravelled until it blended imperceptibly with the night sky and was no longer there.

    Luwin awoke in the quarters he shared with his old cellmates. Waited and watched for signs this was still a dream. When he tried to roll out of his body and only rolled out of his bed, he figured this was the waking world proper, finally. He slipped on his robe, put on the slippers the servants had provided, exited with the same amount of noise everyone else made when going to the privy, then headed to Marwyn’s guest chambers as fast as he could walk.

    He didn’t expect Qyburn to be the one opening the door. What was inside he expected even less. There was no glass candle out and burning, no books of ancient lore scattered about, not even a gravelly voice cussing out everyone and their forebears over whatever had offended his sensibilities this time.

    Marwyn sat with his back to the far wall, cross-legged on a red velvet cushion lined with gold embroidery. His ring was on his finger, his mask covered his face, and his rod rested perfectly level across his legs. Before him was a long, wooden tray bearing a steaming kettle surrounded by delicate tableware made of white YiTish porcelain painted with fractal patterns. On one side of the kettle was a steel jar filled with white crystals, while on the left was an incense burner. Three long sticks released meandering, wiry wafts of smoke that turned the air fragrant enough as to be pungent. A few breaths were enough to make Luwin feel lightheaded. Not that he noticed. His sight was entirely claimed by the wall itself. Or, rather, what was on it. A large, looming dreamcatcher resembling the web of some great, monstrous spider. Many charms, feathers and other things hung off its myriad treads, every strand so black they seemed to eat the light.

    A throat cleared behind him, wrenching Luwin out of his stupor. Turning around, he blanched. “Lord Stark!”

    “Acolyte Luwin.”

    “Yes, Luwin,” Marwyn said, voice almost devoid of its usual rasp. “Stop blocking the man’s way and come sit.”

    Luwin quietly went where indicated, at the foot of the tray to Marwyn’s right. There was no cushion for him, but he recognized the setting from his studies of diplomacy and history so he decided to kneel rather than sit, directly on the ornate rug. It put him face to face with Qyburn who was kneeling on the Mage’s left, keeping his head down and… brewing something?

    “The custom would have all of us assume seiza,” Marwyn waved at the cushion across from him, purple to his red and just as ornate. “But I know better than to ask a highborn to kneel.”

    With the ghost of sleep thoroughly banished, Luwin wondered at the set-up. On the surface it seemed like the YiTyish tea ceremony, but whatever Qyburn was making was not eastern green tea, and the arrangement was only vaguely similar regardless. The thought that one could ever be well served trying to import another culture in Westeros, especially the North, was also a fool’s notion. So…

    It’s neutral ground, Luwin concluded. Marwyn wasn’t acting like the petitioner here, but the one being petitioned to. Trying to assert dominance over a highborn of Westeros was a thoroughly fatal taboo, so Marwyn had designed a setting that maintained the degree of ceremony while making it as non-Westerosi as possible. Marwyn wasn’t demanding authority, he was offering Lord Stark an invitation to recognize the fullness of his existing authority in his area of expertise.

    The question was, would Lord Stark take it?

    Rickard Stark waved his guard captain to stay outside and close the door. He glanced briefly at the white raven that had hounded Maryn’s every step and was now flat on its back under the perch in the corner, twitching insensately. Then the man stepped forward to take his proffered seat.

    “Long ago in Braavos I met a man called Benjen,” Marwyn said, a hand over his staff and his eyes closed. “Dark hair, grey eyes, long face, twin sons not half as observant as he was of his surroundings and dealings. But when I came back from the Far East seven years later, it was he that had vanished, not his reckless, proudful get. He and his ever so farsighted nephew, never to be heard from again. In Essos at least.”

    If Lord Stark felt anything, he didn’t show it. “Think you to have puzzled out my sorcerer’s identity then?”

    “Oh, I’ve known since Moat Cailin.” He did? “The increasing frequency in the attempted visits and the easing of your own skinchanging made more than a few things clear. The rest had already come through in words and seemings. That all could speak more of my wit than anything else, though, so we can ask someone else their opinion if you wish.”

    Luwin carefully didn’t react openly to being called upon to share the conclusion to this latest puzzle. Marwyn had only just given him the key. Was this his punishment for showing up uninvited? Or was his coming predicted after whatever that last dream had been?

    “That won’t be necessary,” Stark said with a sigh.

    Luwin was torn between relief and irritation at losing this chance to prove his competence, however unbidden.

    “As agreed at High Heart, I’ve indulged the visitations as long as it was just me.” The Mage opened his eyes. They were like bottomless pits of black behind the gleaming mask, pupils so wide there may as well be no iris around them at all. “You very carefully didn’t vow to forbid or command him anything. Nonetheless, his trespass leaves us at somewhat of an impasse, if you follow me. One he is wise not to test me on. I may not be able to work spells, but in dreams I am mighty. And it’s been years since I found a working I could not unravel.”

    “I will not apologise for putting you to test.”

    “You may wish to apologise to him then. Anyone else would have drained him dry with that wound of his.”

    Lord Stark did not reply.

    “I’m honestly shocked he can skinchange at all, let alone cast his Thought so far from his Shape.” Marwyn mused, not at all idly. “For a time I’d assumed the laughing pup was his fylgja, but it turns out it’s not part of him at all.” Fylgja. Old Tongue for follower, but in this case used to denote the attendant spirit of a person. Their totem. Marwyn had just implied Stark’s sorcerer had somehow been deprived of his. Rather violently too, if the wound was as severe as he implied. Whatever it was. “You should be very grateful to whatever forebear bequeathed his hamingja unto you. Whatever it’s been doing, that One-Eyed Raven is the only thing explaining why you’re not drowning in miscreants.” Hamingja. Fortune. The personal entity that could be split off and bequeathed on another person. In some traditions at least. “Well, that and whatever it was that asserted your will upon these lands. The difference is stark compared to when I was here previously. For that you have my sincerest congratulations. There is power in claim, and danger in infringing upon it as well. Rather like border disputes. That, at least, he and you both seem to afford the caution it deserves. There’s certainly been no news from King’s Landing about horses suddenly going crazy and trampling anyone important.”

    Lord Stark’s hands clenched into fists atop his knees.

    “Did you know Starks with any inkling of magic tend to disappear off the face of the earth? Across the sea at least.” Marwyn lifted his rod from his lap and propped it against the web of dreams at his back. “It’s good I got here first.”

    Lord Rickard Stark beheld the man before him, eyes like chips of ice. “What do you want?”

    “I want to know you are the ruler, not the ruled.”

    “Is that so?” Lord Rickard seemed nonplussed. Seemed. “Is that it?”

    “Well, I’d also like a patch in that glass garden of yours to grow some raspberry jam trees. I’d prefer acuminata or mimosa, maybe some koa eventually, but I’m willing to settle for what’s more expedient for now.” Marwyn lifted the lid from the kettle. Inside wasn’t any tea Luwin had ever seen, but a hot, thick, leafy brew of smell so strong that it made Luwin shiver. “There is a hard limit on what words can convey,” Marwyn poured one cup and then another. “Those with weak selves can be made to believe anything by them, but I am not so suggestible and neither are you.”

    Across the room, Qyburn set down the second cup of clear oil he’d made from that crushed crystal and quietly stood to leave.

    “You words say much,” Lord Stark said eventually. “Those you don’t voice say even more.”

    “I suppose you could also behead me,” Marwyn mused. The idle tone made a sinister combination with the black void beyond the proverbial door to his soul. “Banish me perhaps, if you don’t feel quite murderous enough for that. At the least you may have to leave me behind. Actively shielding is one thing, creating lasting defences around the selves of those with no occult power of their own is quite thoroughly impossible as things currently stand. I won’t move from this spot willingly. Not without your guarantee that he won’t infringe on my charges again.”

    Lord Stark beheld Marwyn, for a time. “I begin to understand why you vex him so.”

    “No,” Marwyn said, utterly certain. “You do not.”

    The nobleman blinked in surprise, but did not grow wroth. “Perhaps not.”

    “Quite so,” Marwyn agreed, satisfied. “I take it he’s rather confused.”

    “… Increasingly so the more he tries to dream with you,” the other man admitted. “He only lost time this way once before. I don’t suppose you will provide an explanation?”

    “I could.” Marwyn picked up the two cups and held one out. “Or you could see for yourself.”

    Qyburn quietly nudged Luwin from behind and ushered him out. The last thing he saw before the door closed was Lord Stark reaching out to accept the offering.

    Luwin wasn’t told what Marwyn and Lord Stark saw or discussed, but their party spent one whole day and extra night in Cerwyn instead of leaving that same morning as had been the plan. It left him and the rest rather at loose ends, but he didn’t mind. Even if it was rather bemusing when little Lady Lyanna came over and declared him to be her chaperone for the rest of their stay.

    “Old Man Rob says I need one but his picks are all boring.”

    The real reason was that Benjen Stark had ‘called dibs’ on Luwin so Lyanna resolved to snatch him first as revenge. On finding out during noon meal, the boy sulked most adorably. Then came the evening feast and Benjan Stark proceeded to mock his sister loudly and openly for not being able to win at anything without cheating. It started a sibling’s row that somehow ended with Lyanna Stark vowing to ‘prove’ her worth by ‘winning at horror stories forever.’

    What strange turns of phrase these highborn children used.

    “Some say the Green Emperor still lives, forever lost to time and memory in the Morning Mountains,” Lyanna Stark finished her tale, making a brave bid at leaning in such a way that her face was cast in shadow. “They say he lingers between life and death, beset on all sides in the city of corpses that lies where the river of ash runs howling through a narrow cleft in the mountains, between towering cliffs so steep and close that the dark waters never see the sun. Some say he’s still there, alive out of spite for those he taught and raised, who turned their backs on him and flew across seas and mountains to build their own empire out of his legacy, one which they wouldn’t have to share. Perhaps he still wallows there, skulking between the caves that pockmark the cliffs where demons and dragons and worse make their lairs, more hideous and twisted the deeper in you go into the never ending darkness at the shadow’s heart.”

    The gathered menagerie of children ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ appreciatively, even Rhodry who’d been swept into the little lady’s groove somehow. For a girl of seven years, Lyanna Stark knew many big words. Luwin wished Lord Stark the best of luck when she tried to abscond with the mummers in a year or three.

    He looked to the side where Qyburn was rapidly recording everything on the latest sheet of the surprisingly high-quality paper the North seemed to have in abundance. “Having fun, maester?”

    “Most definitely,” Qyburn said happily, murmuring under his breath about myths and mountains and Asshai-by-the-Shadow. “The mouth of babes has ever been a most precious treasure trove of information. I hope to meet this Old Nan soon.”

    Luwin didn’t begrudge Qyburn’s feeling of vindication. He’d been the only one who didn’t take offence when Lyanna Stark walked over and declared him their chronicler on account of being the only grownup ‘creepy enough.’

    “Old Nan, Old Shmam!” Lyanna Stark tsked. “This story’s got nothing to do with her, it’s all me!”

    “Your pony, more like,” Benjen muttered, leading to yet another chase up and down the main hall.

    It was just the first of several ‘sinister’ tales, but Luwin’s sleep that night was undisturbed and Death did not haunt him again.

    “-. 274 AC .-“


    Winterfell was an absolutely massive mountain of a castle. That much Luwin recalled despite the age he’d been when he was sent to become a maester. Any memory blanks had long since been filled via reading and hearsay as well. The ancient seat of House Stark was by all accounts a city unto itself, with an outer wall eighty feet high, an inner wall one hundred feet high, and a wide moat between them. The complex was a rugged, solid thing with square crenellations all along its rims, great octagonal towers with hanging turrets, and high-angled roofs covered in ironwood shingles that stabbed the sky like black icicles. Inside, beyond the two walls and the first of six wards, was the Great Keep, a monolithic castle complex all on its own, with off-shoots and walls and gatehouses. It was connected by a covered bridge to the armory, a keep in its own right, while on the other side was the Great Hall, which was said to hold eight long rows of trestle tables with room for five hundred people on the ground floor alone. The inner castle also played host to the Library Tower, where Luwin may end up making his home if Marwyn’s predictions proved true. He wondered what it would be like. He only knew it had an outer staircase and a hanging bridge connecting it to the Great Keep like only the armory boasted.

    That all wasn’t even touching on the many other walls, towers, turrets and bridges hanging in the air, to say nothing of the Godswood, or the ancient shell keep where the Kings of Winter once resided, with its shapeless, rain-worn gargoyles and inner ward and the Broken Tower looming tall and forbidding.

    Calling Wintertown a ‘town’ was a misnomer also, being instead a full city bigger than all others in the North save White Harbor, which it more than matched in winter and fall. Winterfell and Wintertown didn’t come close to the scale of Oldtown even together, in size or population, but Luwin recalled enough of to know it beat King’s Landing in most everything else. Far from being a den of filth and mud with slums and shanty towns every other alley, Wintertown instead had rows of small and neat houses built of log and undressed stone. Its streets could be muddy when there was no cold to freeze the ground as solid as the bone in your body, but they were fairly level and done in packed gravel here and there, where there would otherwise be particular risk of getting bogged or slipping. Finally, near Winterfell's main gatehouse was the main market square, full of wooden stalls for produce and goods and a well at its center, near the local inn and alehouse. From what Luwin remembered, it was called The Smoking Log.

    All told, Luwin thought he knew what to expect of the place. He was even ready for Lord Stark to take the circuitous route that would see them avoid Wintertown entirely, to enter Winterfell from the Hunter's Gate instead of the main one.

    That assumption didn’t survive past the kingsroad.

    The first thing they saw was the smoke. It rose in great pillars all along the southern edge of Wintertown, which seemed to have grown a whole extra circle of roads, stalls and workshops. It looked like construction on a whole new city ward had been started, one that surrounded half the town and curled eastward around the great hill. Its purpose was obvious from the edifices and craftworks already there. A fresh wall made of some strange, fused grey stone was being raised in place of the wooden one already there, to separate it from the rest of the surprisingly active city. Great furnaces as tall as houses ate coal by the shovel load and billowed smoke into the sky. Large shingled barns sheltered great boiling vats of something or other. Long arched canopies ate wood one whole trunk at a time, only to disgorge perfectly square beams or planks finer than anything he’d ever seen. As they got closer, Luwin could see mules tied in groups to spinning pillars. Whatever they did wasn’t turning grindstones though. He could hear a long, sharp keen coming from within. The making of charcoal seemed to have at some point become its own industry also.

    There was a lot of extra land marked for further expansion as well, by a wooden palisade that bordered an area big enough to be called a ward on its own. Even that space wasn’t empty, having amassed a truly staggering supply of fresh timber that was even now added to by long-suffering aurochs and their loudly bellowing lumberjacks. And surrounding even that, all around the outskirts, were piles and piles of limestone and granite and many other types of stone, gravel and sand carted in from far-off places.

    They stopped and took off their skis the moment they were within the outer perimeter. The roads had been cleared of snow almost completely just by foot traffic, and any ice had long since been sprinkled with sand. The sled houses were also emptied and sent on ahead, after which they proceeded on foot, watched and saluted respectfully by people wearing thick gloves and strange, hard hats of iron or ironwood. They were all eager to pay their respects and even more eager to get back to work the moment Lord Stark acknowledged them.

    The new ward proved to be a fair bit farther away from Wintertown proper than it seemed at first glance. Luwin approved of the precaution but decided it was probably unnecessary, noise aside. The pattern of the winds was almost ideal for dispersing the smog away from the rest of the settlement, and Winterfell itself was higher up than the cloud of smoke and ash could actually lift. Eight thousand years later and Bran the Builder’s choice of construction site was still proving lucrative in new ways.

    Once they were in the town proper, Luwin decided to go and ask his sudden bevy of questions since no one else seemed inclined to. Fortunately, his escorts proved quite willing to answer. Guardsmen Tom and Bors in particular were very eager to boast about their home.

    Luwin tried not to feel too staggered at their answers.

    House Stark now made paper. And glass. And had established something called mass production, where they made iron at such absurd rates that there weren’t enough blacksmitsh to keep up with. Arms, armor, iron tools at prices so low that commonners might be able to afford them without having to pool their coin, all were being made at increasing rates even as the standing orders grew and grew in number. Winterfell had even let word get out about all-new farming ways and machines that would be available come spring. And because that all wasn’t enough, some no-name lumberjack was no longer a non-name at all because he’d stumbled over whatever Bran the Builder had used to make the Wall. Winterstone. But that apparently wasn’t enough for one year, because someone, somehow managed to come up with summerstone to go with it. A fused grey stone made from sand, gravel and baked lime mixed in a slurry and poured into all sorts of shapes and sizes. Walls, foundations, sewers, aqueducts and even the road Luwin found himself traveling up right now. One of two, the other being in the Kyln itself, as the ward was called.

    “They’ll be ruined when spring comes and the ground softens, or so it’s said,” Bors told him. “But the Steward figured summerstone needed testing, and meanwhile the other work would go quicker. When the ground’s not frozen enough to break your back digging it, they’ll redo it properly, we’re told. New sewers too. Underground ones.”

    “Nobody’s been able to quicken steel making yet though, least not like the blast furnace,” Tom said, winking at him. “That’s a job for you lot, I figure.”

    “How is all of this funded?” Luwin couldn’t help but wonder. “Domestic savings are one thing, but some hefty starting funds would have been needed for all of this.”

    “I figured it was all the coin saved off stuff we used to buy from the southrons?” Bors said uncertainly. Luwin had forgotten for a moment who he was talking to. The man wasn’t even literate.

    “Might be the ice trade too,” Tom shrugged.

    “Ice trade?” Hother pounced before he could.

    “Methinks, at least. Turns out it’s already damn warm down in Dorne and Lys, and they’ll pay through the nose for a cool drink. Keeps food from spoiling too.”

    “Not to mention what ice cubes can get up to between the sheets,” Bors muttered.

    “Selling ice,” Hother muttered. “What a crazy idea. Pa oughta love it.”

    “And not one whiff of magic in sight,” Marwyn murmured low enough that only Luwin heard.

    Traversing Wintertown was its own experience, with its sturdy homes, the street bereft of the mud of its past, and full houses everywhere Luwin looked. He counted many more buildings with business signs over their windows compared to what he remembered too. They each had notice boards next to the doors, instead of there just being one large one in the town square. Paper sheets with various drawings and writings were nailed to them most everywhere he looked. It gave a sense of permanency to Wintertown that wasn’t there before. One sign in particular made him stare, above the door to a building twice as long as it used to be. It had been partly rebuilt to merge with the neighbor’s house. Luwys & Hus. His father had built up their business? Even had a partner? One that wasn’t even a smith! Thank the gods this wasn’t the south or the guilds would have killed them both.

    How many people were planning to stay when spring came? How much work was there to be had in winter that they could afford it? Weren’t four fifths of the winter population farmers? Something must have already changed in the North for such a major shift in smallfolk prospects. Many of them were out and about even as they passed, especially the children. They were out in droves, loitering, running, gawking and playing some kind of game with paper cards. All of which might have been borne if not for the flying kites and paper ‘airplanes’ that brought half of them acolytes to a stop and threatened to send the other half into the sort of inventor’s fugue mentioned only in myth.

    “Don’t you all stop and stare,” Marwyn nudged Luwin forward. “There’ll be time for that later.”

    It didn’t help.

    They reached the market soon after, right at the mouth of Winterfell’s main gate. It was full of people peddling arms, armor, tools, trinkets, toys, jewels, backscratchers, hair combs, hair brushes, soaps, scented soaps (not to be confused with hair soaps, the woman insisted) and something called toothpaste which Marwyn broke ranks to go and buy three different jars of on the spot (along with a toothbrush the carver didn’t even have to insist he get with it). Tools and parts for all sorts of work were on sale as well. Accessories that both looked pretty and had a practical purpose. There were clasps and buckles Luwin had never seen, treaded nails that made him think of Marwyn’s glass candle, those safety pins were mighty clever too. And the paper. Paper was everywhere. Sheets, stacks books and journals, figurines and toys folded in many shapes and patterns, and garlands painted in bright colors for children to run with and tie to their kites to flutter in the wind.

    The throng of people parted before them, but the sights didn’t. Neither did the smells. Not of sweat or smoke or metal, but of food. So much of it that it made Luwin wonder how packed the Smoking Log had to be for there to still be so much business out in the cold. There were stalls and hawkers and wheeled carts stocking up on meals to go. For the workers, they said. Some of the dishes, Luwin had never seen before. Triangular slices of flatbread called wedge pies, baked with cheese and sauce and topped with steamed greens and meat cuts. Apples and raisins candied in maple syrup, an all-new type of sugar made from sap. And then there were the ‘little brans’ or “brannies.” Meat, cheese or some other filling stuffed between two slices of bread. They apparently got their name from their inventor, who happened to be Lord Stark’s son of all people. Maybe not a lackwit after all.

    “All that’s missing is some good new drink,” Marwyn pondered, looking mighty thoughtful. “I’m going to be rich!”

    Finally, far off on the highest point of the hill still outside Winterfell, half-way between Wintertown and the Hunter’s Gate, was the Water Titan.

    This time, guardsman Rys gave the story. About a year past, the wintering youth of Wintertown had banded together in an attempt to make the biggest snowman in history. The effort grew increasingly ambitious and convoluted until it was more wood than snow and hollow on the inside. It ended up collapsing in a storm at some point into the second month of the year. But it only galvanized the youth to make a new one but better. So much so that they ended up asking their parents for guidance and advice. Combine that with winter-induced idleness, plus news from the keep that Lady Lyarra had fallen ill and House Stark could use a mood lift, and the effort snowballed rapidly into a serious building project. Then it somehow mixed with incipient plans for a water tower meant to deliver water directly to businesses and homes. Now, the skeleton of what would one day be a grand construction stood almost as tall as the outer wall itself. Craft masters had started using it as Wintertown’s own journeyman challenge for everyone who studied any sort of trade under them.

    Water piping. Yet another one of Bran the Builder’s crafts at play. Luwin wouldn’t be surprised if the water tower plans included hot pipes as a buffer around the main tank, to prevent it from freezing in winter. He voiced the idea to Marwyn, who seemed to approve of his line of thought, if not the thought itself.

    “We’ll strap some black steel to you yet. Not around the tank itself, that would be structurally unsound and redundant. Around the riser though, yes, perhaps pipes of hot springs water in a spiral, though digging under the moat and the walls to tap it might be impractical. Still, a boiler can serve in a pinch, and I know how to make some decent heat insulators,” the Mage mused. “If they build the titan to look lifelike, that’ll make for plenty of room to hide the workings. Won’t work as is though. I can spot four weak joints in the framework even from here. Next big blizzard will crash it. Which they seem to expect, seeing as there’s nothing but scaffolding within falling distance. We’ll have to redesign it from the ground up. Still, not a bad way to kill time for a bunch of tradesmen and their brood. I bet Lord Stark indulged it for the lessons learnt. He’ll be commissioning one inside Winterfell proper if he hasn’t already, mark my words. That’ll be our job too, I reckon.”

    Rather dangerous, Luwin thought, but who was he to judge anyone when it came to that? He’d risk danger too, if it led to something even half as inspiring as all this.

    The Gatehouse of Winterfell was quite possibly the most defensible man-made fortification in the Seven Kingdoms, with many layers of battlements, especially ramparts and arrow loops overlooking the main entrance. Since Winterfell had two walls with a moat in between, that meant a secondary gatehouse behind the first, connected by two draw bridges, each able to be raised. Looking up, Luwin saw no secondary line of battlements facing the inside anywhere on the walls. He approved. It would ensure invaders would not find their position defensible even if they did make it to the top. The people on the inner towers would be able to shoot them dead with impunity, and the collapsible bridges would enable defenders to fall back and regroup. Each section of wall was protected by towers too, making it all but impossible to conquer the castle without capturing every consecutive wall section. Bloody business, to say the least.

    It was near noon when they entered the inner castle. Luwin looked ahead, searching with his eyes for their mysterious sorcerer. The way Marwyn spoke of Benjen the Elder, he’d be a man full grown bearing Stark looks, possibly with a son or two in tow. He supposed it wasn’t impossible that they were going to find someone else. A hedge witch, a Warlock of Qarth, a Red Priest even, considering the red sun Luwin kept dreaming about. Maybe it was Child of the Forest straight from the Age of Heroes like he initially thought too, but what were the odds of that?

    Not good, it turned out. None of his assumptions proved accurate.

    “Welcome home, father. Winterfell is yours. I’ve prepared bread and salt for our guests to bide under, until the issue of policy and charters is settled. Also, mother is with child, so there’s that.”

    Brandon Stark was Rickard Stark in miniature, out to do his duty in the cold even though he was tired, grumpy and looking for all the world like he had better places to be.

    “Thank you, son,” Lord Stark said, putting a hand on his son’s shoulder briefly but showing no more affection that that. “We’ll talk inside.”

    How cold. The man had been so gladsome with his other two children.

    They ate the bread and salt and then were shown by the castle steward – one Annard Poole – to the upper floors of the Great Hall, where they’d be hosted until their permanent lodgings were ready. Very good quarters fit for nobles. Lord Stark really was treating them as investments.

    To Luwin’s surprise, he beat Qyburn and Marwyn both in asking after the Lady’s health and how soon they could get to work. To their vast reassurance, their suspicions were proven correct that Lyarra Stark’s condition had been overstated. Unfortunately, that was as far as it went. While the Lady wasn’t dying right that moment, she was quite far along to being wholly bedridden due to her increasing pains and bouts of weakness.

    The steward left them and returned after they’d chosen their respective chambers – they each got one of their own! – then led them back out onto the grounds and to the northernmost, oldest past of the keep.

    “This will be your headquarters. Our builders have already gone over it, and ratters have been sent to clear it and the tower of most of the vermin. Nonetheless, Lord Stark expects you will prefer to do your own assessment and redesign. He will provide a considerable largesse for the renovations, but his ultimate wish is for you and whatever organisation you establish to become self-sufficient. He expects a preliminary plan by moon’s end. Naturally, this will double as a test to prove your competence. My son Vayon will attend to you from here on, but I must return to my duties. Good luck.”

    Luwin was not the only one who boggled at that news. A long time ago, decades years before Lord Rikard Stark had been born, a lightning strike had set afire the Broken Tower afire. The top third of the structure had collapsed inward, and the tower had never been rebuilt. Now they were being asked to rebuild it. And they were getting the First Keep all to themselves.

    By the Gods, Lord Stark was really serious about this.

    Luwin didn’t know if he should be more excited or terrified.

    Marwyn called on Hother to assist and quickly had the rest of them organised. From there, they set off to survey the grounds while the Mage and Mother Hen supervised and recorded their findings. They worked all through noon and past, snacking on little brans sent for by Vayon when they got hungry. They didn’t even have to mention it, the young man seemed used to anticipating things like that. They were barely finished with the preliminary inspection of the grounds and the keep’s ground floor when a runner came with the call for dinner. Before that, though, they were shown to the hot baths to clean and refresh themselves, unless there was anything else they needed?

    “Actually, yes,” Marwyn decided, using some contraption on the side of the stationery tray to drill holes into the papers they’d written. He then used one of the rings in the bottom drawer to clip them together and held them for Luwin to take. “Take these to Lord Stark, unless he only receives his own appointments?”

    The question was directed at Vayon, who shrugged. “He can come with me and I can ask. Either he gets in or I get him back to you lot.”

    “That will work fine.”

    That was how Luwin ended up being the first Northern maester (to be) to see Lord Stark’s solar from the inside. A large room that took up almost the entire top floor of the First Keep’s summit. It was well lit from large windows on all four walls and furnished with solid furniture, cherry for the tables, oak for the bookshelves, ironwood for the desk and door. Luwin might have paid more interest to the interior if not for the effort he suddenly had to expend not to gawk like an imbecile.

    “I understand you have something for me?” Lord Stark asked as if there was nothing out of the ordinary.

    “… Yes, my Lord,” Luwin approached and held out the papers, doing his best to ignore the curled up figure of Brandon Stark sleeping soundly in his father’s lap. The great sword Ice was on the man’s back, its strap keeping the lad securely in place. “Preliminary assessment of the grounds. The Archmaester would like to know if you have any particular preferences on record keeping.”

    “I see. You may sit while I go over this.”

    Luwin accepted the seat – not designed to make someone feel small or unimportant, he noted – and made his best bid at discretion. It was hard though. The child lord looked so different from earlier, the frown and tension gone even if the bags under his eyes hadn’t quite started fading. He looked like a proper child rather than a short adult. Luwin decided to request the chance to check his health as soon as possible. For a lad of eleven, he seemed far too short. Hopefully he was just a late bloomer, but better not to risk it in case his diet needed changing.

    The boy stirred half-way through his father’s reading, yawned, slipped off his father and went to the privy, acting like he didn’t even notice Luwin was there. When he came back, though, he wandered over and stared at him.

    Luwin quickly felt awkwardness set in. “… Hello.”

    “You’re not here to murder me too, are you?”

    Luwin gaped. “What? No!” He didn’t know if he should be more worried or affronted.

    Brandon Stark looked at him for a while longer. “… I thought you’d be older.” Then he walked back behind the desk, climbed up his father, nestled his head next to the man’s heart and promptly went back to sleep.

    Lord Rickard only paid his son as much mind as it took to secure Ice’s strap under the boy’s elbow so that he had a comfortable grip on his beard. To Luwin he didn’t spare any glance at all, instead using a pen to make annotations.

    Finally, Rickard Stark put the pen down and slid the stack of papers for Luwin to take. “It all seems in order, save for the accounting. I will have Annard instruct you in the use of double-entry bookkeeping. Otherwise, I expect to be consulted before you settle on any policy or vows. Especially celibacy, I want none of that.”

    That was a strange thing to go out of your way to mention. “May I ask why?”

    “Because the vows clearly didn’t work to curtail the Citadel’s ambition and I believe that genius seed of yours should spread as far as possible.”

    Lord Stark had designs on his sex life. Luwin had no idea what to feel about that.

    “Vayon will lead you to back to your fellows. If you hurry, there should still be enough time to bathe and refresh yourself before the feast.”

    There was indeed, and the water was pleasantly hot and abundant after so much time on the road. But the feast could barely be called a feast, being so quiet. The Lord and his wife were absent, the arrival of so many different healers seemed to cast a heretofore unseen light upon the seriousness of the Lady’s sickness, and there were no young Starks to cause laughter and mischief.

    When morning came, they gathered in the common room to wait. Soon, a servant came to fetch them for the morning meal, which they shared in the Great Hall with the steward and the rest of Winterfell’s upper staff, though the Starks were noticeably absent once again. Finally, though, they were led to meet the man they’d work with on medicine at long last.

    The room was large, with individual desks, work tables covered in various devices and sketches along three of the walls, and a large ironwood blackboard on the fourth, on which an entire process was written, half distillation, half alchemy from what Luwin could tell at a glance.

    Then a small flock of ravens flew through the open windows, each one bringing forth a gift for each of them, name tags of polished weirwood scribed with their names. The spectacle made Luwin miss the entrance of their ‘sorcerer’ completely.

    “Let me get all the important stuff out of the way so we can get to work. Humours are complete dogshit. Maester German was right about everything. Until one of you designs a farseer that can see small instead of far, you’ll have to take my word for it that the process on this blackboard works for what I have in mind. I saw it in my visions. In case it wasn’t clear, magic is real.” The white mist cleared from the boy’s eyes as the ravens left. “Will that be a problem?

    Brandon Stark looked like he was defined by everything he didn’t want to be. He looked old but didn’t want to be. He looked tired but didn’t want to be. He looked stressed when he wanted to be running and climbing up and down the castle. He looked like a child who didn’t want to have needed his father to break the spine of the wold’s oldest continuous institution just so he could finally grasp the chance to heal his mother and… and Luwin really shouldn’t be getting so much information just from looking at him.

    “No,” Marwyn finally replied, fascinated and sage-like and his voice banished the strange mood that Luwin had fallen under with just a word. “That won’t be a problem at all.”

    Brandon Stark. Brandon Stark was the healer. The failed alchemist. Brandon Stark was the sorcerer.

    … Marwyn had given him the wrong puzzle key!

    It was a good thing he ended up being so superfluous because he wasn’t useful for much of anything that day, that’s how furious he was. At Marwyn. At the situation. At his penchant for puzzle-making that betrayed him. At himself.

    Qyburn cracked the process in two days, made the first batch of medicine in two weeks, figured out how to distill it in just one day with Marwyn’s help, then came one extra month of work by all of them to set up a relatively reliable manufacturing process for deployment. It could have been much longer, but Lord Brandon had been working on the mold cultures for years and had several different cellars full to the brim with the right strain months before their lone predecessor showed himself a turncoat. Qyburn was sure the Lady could be prescribed the new treatment immediately, but Lord Brandon insisted they first test effectiveness and doses on a few well-paid volunteers. It worked out fine and led to the first witnessed case of Brandon Stark laughing when the whores of Wintertown found a new god in Qyburn for creating a way to heal the clap.

    Luwin wasn’t overmuch involved in most of it, being too busy going to meet the Lady and taking charge of her healthcare. He didn’t begrudge it though, since he’d only have ended up feeling as useless as everyone else there. Qyburn really was a whole world beyond all of them.

    Somehow, though, Luwin still ended up Maester of Winterfell.

    Considering what all had happened in the lead-up to it, though, it was probably for the best.
     
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    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (Kevan)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand


    “-. 274 AC .-“

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    By the King.​


    Aerys Targaryen, the Second of His Name, by the grace of the Old Gods and New Gods, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.

    Having been heretofore informed of despicable assassination, subornation, line theft, and line extinction conspiracies perpetrated by the Order of Maesters against Most Noble personages of the Realm, and following the Crown’s own verification of these allegations with all due tenacity and diligence, the Iron Throne hereby issues the following proclamation.

    Firstly. Grand Maester Pycelle, having confessed to the murder by poison of King Jaehaerys II Targaryen, as well as the murders, similarly by poison or negligence, of Princess Shaena Targaryen, Prince Daeron Targaryen, Prince Daenor Targaryen, Prince Aegon Targaryen, and Prince Jaehaerys Targaryen, has been found guilty of high treason against the Iron Throne. He is hereby sentenced to death by fire, to be carried out in the Great Square of King’s Landing within a moonturn’s time.

    Secondly. Pending verification of allegations of conspiracy levelled against the Citadel Conclave by a Warden of the Realm and a High Lord Declarant, the post of Grand Maester is hereby suspended.

    Thirdly. Rickard of the House Stark, Lord Paramount and Warden of the North, who single-handedly uncovered and informed the Crown of these most heinous plots at great personal cost, is to be rewarded as follows:
    • A permanent exemption for the city of White Harbour from all Crown tariffs on imports.
    • Suspension of all taxes paid by the North for the remainder of the current winter, as well as a number of years thereafter equalling the full length of this same season.
    • A public commendation by Himself the King, to be given at Lord Stark’s pleasure if and when he may choose to visit the capital in future.
    Finally. Leyton of the House Hightower, in his role as Lord Defender of the Citadel and Head of House Hightower, is hereby summoned to King’s Landing, that he may give account of House Hightower’s independent investigation into these matters, or any other actions perpetrated by the Order of Maesters, or other parties, that may or may not have proven injurious towards the Seven Kingdoms, House Targaryen, or its vassal lords.

    Thus ends this Royal Proclamation, given in the Great Hall of the Red Keep on the First Day of the Second Week of the First Moon of 274 AC, the twelfth year of His Grace’s Reign.

    Long Live the King.​

    Written in the hand of Lord Symon Staunton, Master of Laws.

    Witnessed by Lord Qarlton Chelstead, Master of Coin, and Ser Harlan Grandison, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    KEVAN

    Kevan Lannister dropped the transcript next to the signed confession of the late Maester Creylen and carefully thought over what he was going to say. “It seems our dear cousin wasn’t exaggerating after all.”

    Genna scoffed from where she’d been stress-knitting since well before Kevan had entered the solar. “I told he was understating things, if anything. Honestly, why send the man to the Citadel if you’re just going to assume he’s too much of a lackwit to act as our ear there?”

    “Don’t pretend you believed it any more than we, dear sister,” Tygett growled from where he stood near the door. His brother stood as stiffly as he did when he first came in, hand on the hilt of his sword. “You didn’t think Hightower would butcher his precious Citadel any more than we did.”

    “I’m surprised any of his ravens reached our eyes at all,” Gerion scoffed from where he lounged in the chair beneath the bookcase. “Anyone else and it could make one wonder if maybe our late maester wasn’t a no good traitor.”

    Kevan had to force himself to stop wringing his hands. “I’m more interested in what the royal decree says.” He hoped someone would accept the change in topic. Questioning the confession even obliquely was not a field of caltrops he wanted to wade in.

    “You mean what it doesn’t say,” Gerion’s customary smirk seemed to have curdled on his face over the past few days. “No actual summons for Stark. No condemnation for Hightower. Missive witnessed by Lord Commander Harlan Grandison.”

    “Stark has a dying wife to tend,” Genna‘s needles went click click click. “Even a dragon will know better than to keep the wolf away from his den right now.”

    “Will he really? Or maybe he doesn’t want to risk Stark breaking something important in King’s Landing,” Gerion teetered on the back legs of his chair precariously. “If I had to live there I’d be worried too. He broke the Citadel. No, he got the high and mighty Hightower to do it. Gods, I still can’t believe it.”

    “Hightower must have managed to get a raven of his own to King’s Landing before Pycelle gave his confession,” Kevan surmised.

    “Not like anything else makes sense,” Gerion muttered. “Whatever happened to the White Bull is what I want to know.”

    “What else?” Tygett grunted. “If the king is smart he’s holding him hostage.”

    “He just tortured the poor Grand Maester,” Gerion drawled. “Mighty fine scapegoating work there. Who’s to say he’s not putting Hightower through the same?”

    Kevan didn’t disagree but someone had to be the voice of sanity. “Gerold Hightower is his most loyal Kingsguard.”

    “Who knows what madness seized him in his grief?” Genna murmured. “If the King wants someone to blame, he’ll get it.”

    “Especially if he really means to have the good Grand Maester live to see his burning day. If his blood is up, he might need a distraction.”

    That was almost seditious, so Kevan had to intervene again. “That’s enough out of you, brother. Speculating will do us no good. If you’re going to badmouth the king, do it on your own time, in your own company.”

    “I’m only saying what we’re all thinking.”

    Left unsaid was that a man will admit to anything under torture.

    “Brothers. Sister.” Tywin finally spoke. He’d been standing near the window all that time. With the way the afternoon light cascaded over him, he looked like statue made of gold and marble. “I am emotionally compromised. Advise me.”

    Kevan drew a blank. Another thing left unsaid was that late maester Creylen had also admitted to everything under torture. Everything and more and nothing and anything until he could no longer croak any sound at all. Kevan had read and re-read his signed confession and his only conclusion was that there was no conclusion. It was enough to make him feel as unbalanced as he was angry at that possibility that… that he’d… Joanna and Tywin. Joanna and the King. Joanna’s children. Her dismissal from court by the queen. The admissions and claims were so inconsistent and plentiful and conflicting and spiteful by the end… Kevan couldn’t find even one that didn’t have another casting it into doubt. The torturer had gone well beyond what the old man could take. And Kevan couldn’t even come out and say it. Tywin had been there for all of it. To question the torture and its result was to question him. If Kevan lost even his paltry ability to mediate between his siblings-

    “Give me Tyrion.”

    Kevan suddenly felt like the living embodiment of their sigil was breathing down his neck.

    Tywin slowly turned from the window, face casting into shadow as he did. Like gangue. “You dare.” Ground the Lord of the West at their youngest sibling. “You would insinuate I’d do any harm to Joanna’s blood.”

    “A Lannister always pays his debts,” Gerion said, ignoring how Tywin didn’t acknowledge Tyrion as his blodd with all the fearlessness of someone who’d long given up on any notion of good acknowledgement. “But what if that debt is to the King? And what happens when you don’t even know what debt there is to pay?”

    “… Explain yourself.”

    Kevan was shocked. He’d have thought Tywin would order him to silence, if not banished him from his sight.

    “A stunted dwarf. Maybe poison to the womb could have done it. But mismatched everything? Hair so blond it almost looks white. Mismatched eyes from birth. One blue going on green. One blue going on purple. What if it doesn’t turn all the way to black? What if it stays like that? Where would the purple come from? How far do we have to look for black eyes in the family even? It’d have to be the Marbrant branch because he sure as hells didn’t get it from aunt Rohanne. Cersei was torturing him in the crib the other day, did you know?”

    Tywin had been glaring balefully at their youngest sibling, but that last revelation cracked his composure. “… She did what?”

    Kevan almost failed to mask his shock a second time. To latch onto that obvious deflection over everything else… Was he… was he actually doubting Joanna’s fidelity? How many of Creylen’s tortured lies did Tywin believe? Were they lies? If Tywin believed them…

    “Genna’s the one who found her,” Gerion revealed when the silence stretched too long.

    “It’s true,” their sister admitted. Her knitting needles paused. “She threatened the wetnurse into leaving. Then she undid his swaddling clothes and hurt him until I stopped her. She didn’t even notice I’d come in, that’s how lost she was in it. When I took her to task, you know what she told me? ‘The little monster killed mother, he deserves it.’”

    Tywin said nothing. Kevan couldn’t meet his eyes, Or Genna’s. They were all far too near to broaching topics that were forbidden.

    “Give me Tyrion,” Gerion repeated, face bereft of the usual mockery he aimed at the rest of the world, as he dared those matters that were utterly unthinkable before Creylen’s ill-fated testimony. “You’ll have your hands full with Jaime and Cersei.”

    “Enough.” Tywin didn’t shout, but he didn’t need to. “Your part in this talk is over. This subject is closed.”

    Gerion nodded, conveying mockery without seeming to, but did not rise to leave. In that, at least, he knew better. He’d not been dismissed.

    “What else could the maesters have been up to?” Kevan desperately hoped the others would accept the blatant attempt to change the topic. ‘Confessions’ under torture about Tyrion’s parentage were one thing. Claims about Jaime and Cersei’s parentage were another disaster entirely. “If there really was a conspiracy of them that tried to kill the Starks…”

    “Whatever the truth is, Hightower had a grievance of his own to go so bloody,” Genna ventured. Click click click. “Somehow or other, the maesters overstepped…”

    “And he put them in their place,” Tyg guesed, sounding vaguely approving.

    “No,” Tywin said, shaking his head. “If that were the case, he’d have done so from the beginning. Instead, he waited and then seemingly panicked when Stark’s swift arrival blindsided him. There must have been something else going on in Oldtown, or perhaps the Citadel itself. A single house’s reputation wouldn’t have been enough for Hightower’s response on its own, even Stark’s.”

    “You think the Hightowers were part of it, whatever it was,” Kevan surmised, though he’d already reached that conclusion. “That he killed the maesters for deniability, not justice.”

    “You do not?” Tywin asked, sounding forbidding and diapproving.

    Kevan thought seizing Creylen for torture was the same mistake, instead of trying something more subtle. Now they didn’t know any better than anyone else whether or not they were among the ‘few’ great houses undermined by their maesters. “I think we’re past the point of knowing,” he instead told his brother. “Hightower’s purge is already looking so complete that there likely isn’t any way left to get straight answers.”

    “I think you’re all missing the point,” Tyg cut in. “Rickard Stark just marched his troops across all the southern kingdoms during winter, faster than a rider in summer, when nobody else could match his pace.”

    “I did not, in fact, miss it,” Tywin rebuked him. “But it’s a distant concern to the real prize.”

    Kevan, for a moment, couldn’t process what he’d heard. He thought Tywin was sharing in their grief and anger left without a viable target. Wasn’t he? Or had he already moved on to… what exactly?

    Tywin looked down at them from where he stood near the window, then walked to sit at his desk. “The Citadel has been blooded, broken and disgraced. Ser Baelor Hightower seems to have gone on his own purge after Stark left as well. What do you think this means for the maesters and acolytes there? Many eyes are turned towards Oldtown. There will be dozens if not hundreds of maesters, or acolytes as good as maesters, doing the opposite right as we speak. Avowed or not, think you there aren’t those looking to flee into the night after what Hightower did? A lord could easily have his pick of just those poor sods. And, if what all we heard is correct, Stark already has. He got first pick of them and their precious books. I will not have House Lannister miss the opportunity now open to us. I expect full support from all of you.”

    “… You want to make our own Citadel,” Kevan couldn’t muster any emotion. He could barely muster the comprehension as to what Tywin was trying to tell them. Creating a Citadel of their own… he couldn’t imagine it.

    Neither, it seemed, could the others, so deep their quiet had grown.

    “No longer will House Lannister kowtow to the wisdom of self-deluded old men from across the continent. Nor will we open ourselves up to treachery from Hightower’s grey rats. This is not the first time the maesters forgot their place. Nor the first time they were killed for dubious loyalty. Yet always has House Hightower managed to retain its stranglehold on all knowledge everywhere. I doubt Stark knew what he would set in motion when he left his empty lands, but house Lannister will not waste an opportunity so uniquely suited for us and only us.”

    Kevan could see it. The Citadel’s history. Their great library without equal. The constant stream of gold from all lords who needed a maester in their keep. Right there, right then, it had been rendered moot, if only temporarily. If they could act within the window of opportunity…

    It took many instructed scholars to start an institute of learning. The maesters had no obligation to create a competitor to the Citadel, especially since they made their vows to the lord, the realm and the citadel itself. Even if a lord forced the maester to teach others, one maester alone would never be enough to start anything. The less time consuming choice was to just send more men to the citadel. Writing books was never easy either. It took a lot of money, parchment and time. Not even House Lannister ever bothered with such a waste of time, even if they could ignore the issue of expenses. Why do that when you could just buy the book? Sure, it can cost a fortune, but it would cost a fortune to have it made too. As for a treacherous maester… all you had to do is kill him and hire another. The citadel was always happy to provide more.

    Of course, that was suspicious on its own too, in hindsight.

    Kevan blinked. “You think Stark will fail,” he realized.

    Tywin nodded. “Even if the Citadel does lose its monopoly on scribes, it won’t be enough. Hightower and the Conclave doubtlessly know this, or they wouldn’t have so easily acceded to Stark’s demands. A fistful of acolytes that have not completed their chains and some books will never be enough to start a new Citadel. Others have tried the same, many times over these thousand years of history. Even if Stark did get one or two maesters to join him, they will have to spend years just to complete the education of the acolytes and there is still the problem of the scribes and the production of books. I am certain that the triad of Oldtown has already divined the conclusion to this sordid drama.”

    “They’ll renounce the effort by next winter,” Kevan supposed that was what Tywin was getting at. “The North struggles with winter and is not the most wealthy. Certainly not enough to fund anything that could compete with Oldtown.”

    “Southern lords won’t risk the stewardship of their lands or their children’s education either,” Tyg agreed, much as he hated to agree with Tywin on anything. “Not on an upstart organisation from the northmost backwards reaches of the world.”

    “Quite so. Kevan.”

    “Yes, brother.”

    “You will take the Sea Lion and attendant vessels to Oldtown. Recruit as many maesters as you can. As many learned acolytes as you can. You have my leave to tap the treasury for however much gold you need to acquire the right books as well. Perform well, brother. Our House cannot afford half measures here.”

    Kevan stood and bowed. “I will do all I can, brother, but they’ll obstruct me every step of the way. If they say no, or Hightower says no, there won’t be much I can do.” Stark wasn’t the only one facing the issue of too few learned men and too few books.

    “Of course. Which is why I will join you for the trip and then go on to King’s Landing. I am the Hand of the King and his Grace has summoned me back to his side to put the realm in order. Given recent developments, I’ve no doubt he will see the wisdom in signing the appropriate royal permits and decrees to solve this small matter.”

    “I understand. Good luck then, brother.”

    “Indeed. Take Gerion with you. Perhaps some time at sea will remind him what the proper noble airs smell like.”

    Mercifully, their youngest brother didn’t make a sound. “As you say.”

    “Dismissed.”

    Kevan, Tygett, Genna and Gerion left the solar of Casterly Rock in silence.

    By unspoken agreement, the four walked down the corridor towards their family’s private living room. They didn’t all keep their peace for so long though. That it was Gerion who broke it wasn’t a surprise. What he said, however, was.

    “The King won’t agree.” None of his typical smirk showed on his face. “Lannisport could easily become another Oldtown. His Grace currently believes the order of maesters murdered all his children. And his father. Who knows what else he’ll believe next. Gods save us if he decides they were behind Summerhall. The Dance. The death of the dragons even. He won’t admit it, but he’ll know he’s at the lowest House Targaryen has ever been since Maegor’s rule.”

    “You think he’ll deny his own Hand?” Tyg asked.

    “I think he’ll want to do everything but empower a second such threat if he’s in such a weak position.”

    Or maybe he’ll order the Citadel dismantled. Maybe he’ll fund a rival institution himself. Maybe he’ll try to have the Hightowers attained, which means Tywin will have all his time taken by trying to stop a war. “There’s no point in speculating,” Kevan told him.

    “Yes,” Gerion said with a derisive sneer. “After all, what better way for a new, loyal order of knights of the mind than Lannisport? A harbor, protection from a powerful house, and if Tywin proposes building it somewhere in King’s Landing, Aerys would refuse just to spite him. After all, was his Hand suggesting he bring more of those treacherous rats within reaching distance of House Targaryen? He’d have to build it in Lannisport at that point. After all, what other place was there? Gulltown? Starfall? White Harbor? Maybe Tywin should suggest Dragonstone, just to see what happens.”

    Kevan bleakly wondered if there was anyone else in the world with the same skill in providing perfectly persuasive arguments in such a way that you doubted every single one of them.

    “You don’t think our brother will succeed?” Genna asked when they all stopped at the last fork in the corridors.

    “Town charter,” was all Gerion said as goodbye.

    They watched their youngest brother leave, feeling discomfited.

    Kevan hesitated before leaving for his own preparations, but… he was never as confident as Tywin. He could never be so sure of his course of action as to bet all on his chosen path. “Keep a close eye on the children.”

    “Not just Tyrion?” Tyg asked, surprised.

    Kevan looked at Genna.

    “Best to be thorough,” their sister agreed, offering their bemused brother knight her arm to be led onwards. “Wouldn’t want to miss any notable leanings, you understand. ‘We’re halves of the same soul’ indeed. That girl will be the death of us, I swear.”

    It was two weeks later while still in Oldtown that the next royal decree reached them. It sent Kevan reeling, left all their plans upended, and sent Gerion Lannister into the most uproarious, breath-stealing laughing fit of his entire life to date.

    “Hahahahahah! I told you! I told you! Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah!”

    Kevan heard his brother’s words and read the king’s words feeling the same dismay.

    Tywin, what did you do?
     
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    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (Baelor)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member


    BAELOR

    “-. 274 AC .-“​


    Climbing to the summit of the Hightower on foot instead of taking the lift wasn’t his favorite pastime, but he chose it nevertheless. Gave him time to think. About little sisters feeling caged, a young brother that understood too much, and the simmering rage at his increasing failure to dig up the holes of child-buggering shitstains. He stewed in it, that anger. Stewed more and more with every murdered scribe and dead acolyte and maester’s carcass that showed up in a ditch. What had started out as an investigation against old men too big for their britches had turned into a bloodbath, then into a frayed web of thinly veiled grudge killings that even the full mobilization of House Hightower’s garrison hadn’t managed to suppress.

    Ser Baelor Brightsmile they called him. Baelor Breakwind too, by the Dornish. He’d have a different name entirely soon enough, he was sure of it.

    Baelor had started out helping oversee the investigation, outright refused to play a part in the travesty his father unleashed when Stark showed up out of nowhere, then nearly refused the peace offering to be spokesman for their house, after his Lord Father’s first and only face-to-face meeting with the Lord Warden. Baelor never imagined he’d turn around and outright demand to be brought back into things when Stark left. But he did. And his father, to more surprise than he should have had cause to feel, agreed. Gave him full command of the guard when Stark’s private tip-off about child-buggering shitstains began turning up its own trails of skittish scribes, catamites and corpses.

    That had to be why he was being summoned to his father’s high seat that morning. He’d been called back from the guard barracks he’d been switching between for sleep, down in the city. Just a day after he’d begun tracing certain skeletons to the closets of certain worthies not associated with the Citadel or its books and maesters. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

    How swiftly times change, Baelor Hightower thought bitterly. Just a moonturn ago he’d not have thought twice about his father’s respect for the rule of law. Now he was assuming the worst of the one who’d raised him on the values of justice and chivalry. Oh, how the Seven Hells liked to mock the righteous!

    The last stretch of stairs to the Summit lacked railings. His father had once told him that it was meant to remind them of the dangers of looking too far down upon others. Baelor wondered when Lord Leyton Hightower had stopped taking his own advice.

    The Summit of the Hightower was not so much a Solar as it was a great hall unto itself. It was wide, tall and supported by many load-bearing columns done in Ghozaian style. They tapered up into strong archways from whose vaults hung great chandeliers. Most of them were just for show though. During the day, the Summit was lit by the myriad of arched windows lining the single, circular wall. And at night, light cascaded from the great Beacon above them through the many panels of stained glass incrusted into the ceiling.

    There were no walls inside the Summit, but there were plenty of spaces and daises set apart. Some high, some low, some large, some small, many even afforded a certain measure of privacy by YiTish dividers. Dining tables, game tables, playpens, reading areas, living rooms and more. Highest of all, though, was the Lord’s Office. The largest and highest platform, from where the Lord of the Tower could rule all he surveyed. It was accessible by four staircases and sat in the very center, atop the summit’s private amenities – privy, bathhouse and kitchen. There were four bridges too, aligned with the cardinal points. They connected to the mezzanine running along the walls, from which one could exit into the open-air terraces beyond.

    In older days, House Hightower was of such numbers that the Summit fully deserved its role as private common room just for their family. Leyton Hightower’s admittedly prolific seed seemed to be making a good bid of restoring that state of affairs. Or, at least, setting down the foundation for it. Baelor wondered how many women he’d be calling ‘step mother’ by the time his father was finished. He was at three at the moment. Probably going on four, seeing as it had been almost two years since the passing of Lady Druella. Alerie had once joked that Lynesse had to have sucked her mother dry before she even burst out of her belly. How else would such a lively, plump, big-boned Manderly not live past her birthing bed? Which wasn’t entirely unfair, seeing how high-maintenance Lynesse was turning out to be. Not that it stopped any of them from spoiling her rotten.

    Baelor had, briefly, wondered if maybe something more sinister had been at work. If maybe their House had been undermined by their maesters like who knew how many others. Fortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case. Archmaester Ebrose was an old friend of the family, a genuinely kind old man, and the sole reason Baelor had a full five siblings instead of half. The Healer had been horrified by the purge, but that only made him seem less suspicious in Baelor’s eyes. More tellingly, Ebrose had strongly advised their father to lock down the Citadel and kick over the whole hornet’s nest the moment Stark’s raven arrived. Use a stick and carrot approach to encourage internal dissent instead of attempting any sort of secrecy. Compel someone to come forward. If it truly existed, no conspiracy so large could be entirely free of dissent or detractors, and trying to out-subtle the maesters was a fool’s errand. So Ebrose had argued.

    Rightly, as it turned out. Baelor didn’t even know who was killing who at this point. It wasn’t because people didn’t come forward – they came in great number just on the worth of his chivalrous reputation. It wasn’t because they didn’t have evidence either, there was too much evidence for everyone and everything. There was seldom a way to know if it was true or planted too. It was galling. Hundreds of guards deployed through the whole Citadel, hundreds more all over Oldtown, yet still no rhyme, reason or end to the murders happening right under their noses. The initial purge had been entirely on his father’s orders and at the hands of Hightower soldiery, but it wasn’t long before that stopped being the case. Over two thirds of the maesters and archmaesters whose heads were now on spikes had already been dead when the guards went to seize them, conveniently surrounded with confessions or proof of their wrongdoings. And Stranger take whoever expected him to buy into the various ‘suicides’ that beset the Citadel the day after Stark left. There had been one fool who tried to blame it on the Lord of the North. He turned out to be one of the handful of people in the know about certain child-buggering shitstains.

    Baelor had never dreamed Citadel politics could be so bloody. Hells, he’d not heard of there even being dissent in the Citadel before. The Conclave was supposed to run things with a very firm hand. Then again, that assumed it really was all maesters killing maesters, instead of certain worthies having a hand in it.

    The number of bodies in drains and ditches seemed to have tapered off the past few days at least, but Baelor wasn’t ready to feel optimistic just yet.

    He was glad Ebrose hadn’t complained when father ordered him to remain under the protection of their house until further notice. Losing him to the madness would have been a tragedy. At least the Holy Mother still had some mercy to dole out, even if that wasn’t what Baelor really needed.

    Father grant me justice and Chrone your insight in the coming days, Baelor prayed as he approached the High Office. I am preciously starved for both.

    The Lord’s Office was a perfect circle with four fannable dividers made of alternating oak and weirwood, framed in brass enamelled in Hightower smoke grey. The panels were each as wide as a man’s arm was long, and the hinge rods were fitted with wheels on the top and bottom, enabling them to slide and roll on the rails built into the ceiling and floor. Usually they were folded away behind the lord’s chair, both for practicality and protection. Today, though, they enclosed the high rise completely.

    Baelor climbed the stairs with a feeling of trepidation but didn’t hesitate to push open the way.

    Ebrose was seated on a couch to the right, anxiously wringing his hands. Leyton Hightower was at his desk, writing a scroll. And to the left, sitting at the small carrel where usually worked one of his father’s many scribes, was Malora. Baelor’s elder sister. She sat still in her seat, her long white hair hanging limply over her back and shoulders as she kept intent, blood-red eyes on the only object in that place that Baelor had never seen before.

    A glass candle. Tall, twisting, sharp at the edges and colored gleaming jade, all except for the flame. It was an unpleasant brightness that gave off no color of its own. Instead, it seemed to be a patchwork of all the colors around and behind it, only stranger. The yellow of the desk’s wood shone like gold, shadows looked like holes in the world, Malora’s white hair looked like fresh snow, and her red eyes looked less like blood and more like glowing embers.

    “Did you know the only difference between black and green glass candles is that black ones are broken?” his father asked idly. “I didn’t, until a no-name scribe delivered that one today. Along with an unsigned letter telling us that the Citadel has finished settling its internal matters.”

    Baelor blinked and mentally readjusted himself.

    “It was unsigned but written in fifteen different hands, four of which Ebrose recognised. I’m still not sure if it was a misstep or peace offering.”

    Baelor stood half-way to the candle.

    “They included a warning that other people and things may be watching through the flames when used, also as peace offering.”

    Baelor stood half-way to the candle he didn’t remember approaching.

    “Please don’t interrupt your sister though, as I’ve also been told that the flame will not last overlong.”

    The knight shook his head and took a wary step back. There was a long list of something next to the candle, he now saw. Malora briefly looked away from the flame to underline something on it. Names, Baelor though through wooly thoughts.

    “Take a seat, son.”

    Disturbed, he did as told and quietly took the chair opposite the desk from his father.

    The other man didn’t look up but slid a thick scroll in his direction, already open. It looked to be no more than one generation old, if that. “Read that aloud to me. Just the first paragraph for now.”

    Baelor suppressed the impulse to shake himself out of whatever that had been. He took up the scroll and did as bid. Boons of the Andals, the title said, by Septon Cozbi. “When the Andals came, the Hightowers were amongst the first lords of Westeros to welcome them. ‘Wars are bad for trade,’ said Lord Dorian Hightower, when he set aside his wife of twenty years, the mother of his children, to take an Andal princess as his bride. His grandson Lord Damon (the Devout) was the first to accept the Faith. To honor the new gods, he built the first sept in Oldtown and six more elsewhere in his realm. When he died prematurely of a bad belly, Septon Robeson became regent for his newborn son, ruling Oldtown in all but name for the next twenty years and ultimately becoming the first High Septon. The boy he raised and trained, Lord Triston Hightower, raised the Starry Sept in his honor after his passing.”

    His father hummed, but still didn’t look up from the scroll he was writing. Whatever it was, it had to be important. It was the best quality parchment they had, framed in gold ink. “Does any of it strike you as strange?”

    Baelor thought over the words a few times before it came to him. “His wife of twenty years,” The knight frowned. “The mother of his children. As in more than one.”

    “Go on.”

    “What in the hells? Were did they go? Where did all the other grandchildren go for that matter? All our other relatives?”

    “Where do you think?” Layton Hightower still wouldn’t look up from the increasingly wordy document he was writing.

    “…. Father,” Baelor said slowly, his mind going over and over the same three words. Raised and trained. Raised and trained. Raised and trained. “Why the hells did we let some Septon take up regency of our lands and our family?”

    “I don’t really need to answer that, do I?”

    There were none of us left to gainsay them, Baelor thought. A great maw opened up in his belly, black and simmering.

    “Read the next section,” Leyton said.

    Baelor did, not trusting his own thoughts at the moment. “In the centuries that followed, Oldtown became the unquestioned center of the Faith for all of Westeros. From the dark marble halls of the Starry Sept, a succession of High Septons donned the crystal crown (the first of which was given to the Faith by the Lord Triston’s son Lord Barris) to become the voice of the Seven on earth, commanding the swords of the Faith Militant and the hearts of all the faithful from Dorne to the Neck. Oldtown became their holy city, and many devout men and women traveled there to pray at its septs and shrines and other holy places. Doubtless it was in part due to these ties to the Seven that the Hightowers were so often able to keep themselves separate from House Gardener’s countless wars.”

    “Skip the next one. Read me the other two.”

    “By the time of Aegon’s Conquest, Oldtown was beyond question the greatest city in all of Westeros—the largest, richest, and most populous, and a center of both learning and faith. Even so, it might well have suffered the same fate as Harrenhal if not for the close ties between the Hightower and the Starry Sept, for it was the High Septon who persuaded Lord Manfred Hightower to offer no resistance to Aegon Targaryen and his dragons but instead to open his gates at the conqueror’s approach and do him homage.

    “The conflict thus averted flared up again a generation later, however, during the bloody struggle between the Faith and the Conqueror’s second son, the aptly named King Maegor the Cruel. The High Septon during the first years of Maegor’s reign was kin by marriage to the Hightowers. His sudden death in 44 AC—shortly after King Maegor had threatened to incinerate the Starry Sept with dragonfire in his fury over His High Holiness’s condemnation of his later marriages—is considered quite fortuitous, as it allowed Lord Martyn Hightower to open his gates before Balerion and Vhagar unleashed their flames.”

    “Did you know there were six high septons during the Conqueror’s reign?” Leyton Hightower asked blandly. The man then slid forth an open tome. “Read me the addendum at the bottom.”

    The black pit broiled. “The unexpected nature of the High Septon’s death in 44 AC aroused much suspicion, and whispers of murder persist to this day. Some believe His High Holiness was removed by his own brother, Ser Morgan Hightower, commander of the Warrior’s Sons in Oldtown (and it is undeniably true that Ser Morgan was the sole Warrior’s Son pardoned by King Maegor). Others suspect Lord Martyn’s maiden aunt, the Lady Patrice Hightower, though their argument seems to rest upon the belief that poison is a woman’s weapon. It has even been suggested that the Citadel might have played a role in the removal of the High Septon, though this seems far-fetched at best.”

    “I don’t need to spell it out for you, do I son?”

    Baelor stared down at the words, speechless. Times before he’d read the same histories, but after the past week they seemed to have a completely different meaning.

    “Now read this,” his father pushed forth a raven message. “Quietly if you please.”

    Baelor took the small scroll, read the tiny script of the royal proclamation and blanched.

    Lord Leyton Hightower put down his quill, sealed the gold-framed scroll in wax with his signet ring, pushed it across the desk and rose to start packing various effects from the rear counters and bookshelves.

    Ser Baelor Hightower took it with a deep feeling of dread. He read it. Then he read it again, desperately wishing the words said something other than what he’d craved for since New Year. The words stuck out to him. Some stabbed at him outright. I hereby do declare. Witnessed and signed by. In full possession of my faculties.

    A House Head’s High Warrant.

    The closest thing to abdication you could get.

    Baelor looked up at his father, horrified. “Father, what…”

    “I am summoned to account to the King,” the older man said as he loaded a satchel with records, writs and confessions. “I need also ascertain the fate of my uncle. You have full authority to do whatever you please with me gone. Depending on who gets to whisper in our good King’s ear before I get there, it may be some time before I return. If I return.”

    “Father!” Baelor shot out of his seat. It nearly toppled, and in the aftermath the knight found himself not knowing what else to say.

    “I’ve no time to discuss or argue with you if I’m to catch the high tide.” Leyton donned his satchel and walked around the desk to lay his hands on his son’s shoulders “But I don’t need to. Do I?”

    “Father…” Baelor’s heart seemed to be bursting at the seams and salt stung at the edges of his eyes suddenly. “You can’t be serious. One would have to be mad to think…”

    Leyton smiled grimly at the way he trailed off. “Yes. One would have to be mad, wouldn’t he?” The man embraced his son then. Briefly but tightly for all that.

    Baelor returned it fiercely. This was nothing like what he expected this meeting to be. How he wished it was.

    “Sharks are attracted to blood, my son.” Lord Hightower pulled away, cupping his son’s face what might well be the last time. “Remind them of our house words.”

    “We Light the Way,” Baelor said bleakly.

    “Yes,” Layton said darkly, pushing a small coin into his hand. “We Light the Way. The reach of the Faith is wide, but their foresight is poor. It took us generations to avenge ourselves on the fanatics that took us, but we had our victory in the end. We changed the faith itself to suit our purpose. Eventually, ever so naturally, it was once again the name Hightower that went to light the way. You understand, now, why I did upon the Citadel what I did. Don’t you, son? You, who now want to do the same unto others.”

    Baelor didn’t agree. Didn’t approve either. But his father was right on one thing. He did understand him now, if just a little.

    The other man nodded, not needing or expecting more than that. “Strike hard, son. Strike fast. Strike first.”

    Lord Leyton of House Hightower ordered Archmaester Ebrose to sign as witness to the High Warrant and then left.

    Baelor watched him until he disappeared down the lift, then looked around at the vast and opulent emptiness he was now Lord of in all but name.

    He left. He couldn’t stand to be there right then. He strode away, across the southern gangway towards the mezzanine and then beyond even that. The doors creaked as they gave way to the howling winds of winter. The cold bit at him despite the waves of heat that came down from the great beacon above and behind him. He ignored it. Went and leaned over the railing to watch the city. The roads. The bridges. The harbour beyond. He waited there for his father to emerge from the grand entrance below. Watched his procession all the way to the docks. Watched him get on the ship. Watched the ship pull away. Followed it until it disappeared beyond the horizon.

    His father didn’t look behind even once.

    Baelor stood there for hours, thinking of trade, war, murder and the small coin that kept turning between his fingers, cast in the shape of a green hand. A thought came to him then, of what he’d thought was an unrelated piece of history. Of an ancient House that shared their features and interests. A house that used to be sworn to the same line of kings before being cast out. For growing too powerful, the histories taught. Their exile from the Reach had been around the same time that bad bellies started to determine succession, wasn’t it?

    What a coincidence.

    When he went back inside, Ebrose was fussing over Malora while said sister was ignoring him in favour of reading the list of names. The glass candle was no longer lit.

    Baelor hesitated, then sat down at his father’s desk. It didn’t feel like anything.

    Malora quietly gave him the scroll. That list of names. It was written in fifteen different hands and detailed the helpers, abetters, identities, occupations and addresses of the child-buggering shitstains. All but two of the worthies he’d been suspecting were on it.

    “Archmaester,” Baelor asked, not looking up. “How much should we trust this?”

    “I will never presume to make such decisions for you, My Lord.”

    Such decisions. Not ‘any’ or ‘all’ decisions. “How much do you trust this then?”

    “More than I trusted the prior Conclave, that’s for certain.”

    He looked up in surprise. “That was beyond blunt.”

    The Healer wrung his hands somberly. “Do you know how I was able to rise to my rank?”

    “By being the best?” But he already knew it wouldn’t be so simple.

    “I told the archmaesters how wise and good they are. I told them that my liege and my parents commanded me to put myself into their hands. I told them that I had always dreamed that one day I might be allowed to wear the chain and serve the greater good, that service is the highest honor, and obedience the highest virtue. And when one of my fellow scribes died of a bad belly a day after he openly vowed to crack the higher mysteries, I made sure to say nothing of magic or prophecies or dragons. I never planned to delve such matters regardless, but I made doubly sure not to say anything indiscreet.”

    Baelor felt the broiling chasm in his belly burn with a poison flame. “That sounds like slavery.”

    “It does.”

    Baelor decided not to ask how much of that his father had been aware of. “How much should I trust this ‘peace offering’?”

    “That only you can decide,” Ebrose told him. “I am not thinking clearly. I am still processing the possibility that I might be able to teach my students to speak freely without expecting poison in their porridge.”

    Baelor clenched his fist. “They call themselves the ‘Twisted.’”

    “Yes,” Ebrose smiled. “A fine homage, don’t you think? The origins of the Citadel are almost as mysterious as those of the Hightower itself, but most credit its founding to the same person: the second son of Uthor of the High Tower, Prince Peremore the Twisted. A sickly boy, born with a withered arm and twisted back, Peremore was bedridden for much of his short life but had an insatiable curiosity about the world beyond his window. So he turned to wise men, teachers, priests, healers, and singers, along with a certain number of wizards, alchemists, and sorcerers. It is said the prince had no greater pleasure in life than listening to these scholars argue with one another. When Peremore died, his brother King Urrigon bequeathed a large tract of land beside the Honeywine to ‘Peremore’s pets,’ that they might establish themselves and continue teaching, learning, and questing after truth. And so they did.”

    Wise men. Priests. Teachers. Maegi. Argument and debate. It sounded so different from what the Citadel was like today. Or maybe had been. “Leave me.”

    Ebrose bowed and took the lift down to his chambers, though not before seeing Malora to the sleeping area she’d set aside for herself. It had been years since the Mad Maid had descended from the Summit. She wasn’t changing her routine today, it seemed.

    Baelor spent the day thinking. Of conspiracies, mysteries, crimes and options. He thought about the people of Oldtown who were living in fear. He thought about his reputation as a chivalrous knight and the damage it had been taking. Damage he could not suffer now that he couldn’t just spend it like coin to get his way. Like he’d been planning, even if it got him banished or exiled to soothe fears and tempers. He thought of his father, who surely must hate to be indebted to the Citadel, especially after he’d tried to clamp down on it only to weaken his hold even further. And he thought that his father probably still preferred it over being indebted to Rickard Stark.

    He had a plan by noon, sent a runner out before supper, and town criers were spreading word by mid-afternoon, of his plan to hold a great speech in front of the Citadel. He spent the rest of his day with his brother and sisters.

    And the next morning, upon confirmation that the guards had followed his orders to concentrate around the Mansions of the Pious instead of the Citadel, Baelor Hightower climbed the pulpit and gave a speech. A brief apology, a read of the King’s royal decree, full disclosure about the events at the Citadel, and his personal reassurance that things will go back to normal. As soon as he’s finished excising the canker represented by child-buggering shitstains like Septon Utt, matron Cozbi, Septon Dolion, Septon Donahue, merchant Enyo, Septa Deianira, Septon Aridam, Septon Bronach, Septon Ubel, and every other worthy on the far too long list he had with him.

    The thing about purges was that they scared the mob. The thing about mobs was that they were led easily by the right people. And the thing about people was that there was always someone smart enough to notice when a group outnumbered all others combined thrice over.

    He was not discreet. He didn’t need to feign his outrage at their supposed spiritual leaders. He didn’t need to mix rabble-rousers in the crowd. He didn’t even need to bring forth any witnesses. So many days of people living in fear combined with his impeccable reputation did all the work by themselves.

    When the Sea Lion docked at Oldtown, he only spared whatever time was needed on the basic courtesies. When people told him the Lannisters were poaching their learned men, he told them the Citadel could mind its own business. And when the second decree came to Oldtown and unceremoniously requisitioned all the present Lannisters and their resources for the establishment of a new Citadel on the opposite coast of Westeros, Baelor Hightower only scanned it to make sure there wasn’t a mention of his father getting burned at the stake. Then he went back to his own business.

    Keeping up with all the lynching going on was hard work.

    It turned out that people could feel rather betrayed and angry on learning the things their spiritual guides got up to with their young. More than even public executions could appease. Those all too few he had proof enough to justify.

    He could almost see the ripples as they burst from Oldtown and stretched to the very ends of the lands where the Faith held sway. The end wouldn’t be cut and dry, he knew. No matter. Whatever happened next, he and his would be right there to light the way.

    Strike hard. Strike fast. Strike first.

    Ser Baelor the Bloody smiled grimly as the streets ran red with the blood of priests.
     
    Last edited:
    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (Denys)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    Tomasz_Jedruszek_Kings_Landing.jpg

    DENYS

    “-. 274 AC .-“​

    “All hear!” thundered the voice of Harlan Grandison, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. “All hear Aerys Targaryen, the Second of His Name, by the grace of the Old Gods and New Gods, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.”

    All eyes were on the king as he rose from his seat of fanged steel. The red and black royal robes caught and tore in three different places as he descended from the top of the asymmetric monstrosity of spikes and jagged edges that was the Iron Throne. It was quite the feat for Denys to not let his face betray what he thought of it, let alone the king’s bedraggled appearance. The man had already looked a sight on his arrival to the City of Shit, but now he looked even worse. One wondered when the man had last combed his hair. Or trimmed his beard. Cut his fingernails even. Weeks, at least. They were looking rather long and uneven even from a distance. Made it easy to believe all the gossip, about how Aerys had never been particularly adept at outshining his own Hand. Maybe that was why he’d started to publically undermine, mock and humiliate the High Butcher. And the less said about how the king compared to his pale shadows, the better.

    The grace of the gods is looking mighty unkempt, he thought with disdain. Stinks like a putrid cunt too, now that the late Grand Maester’s smell of pork has properly mixed with the capital’s native ‘fragrances.’

    Still, he withheld his sneer. He’d stay in step with the pageantry. Pretend the truest loyalty, convey all the right affectations and don every false smile. The suspicion, the contempt, the moodswings that almost saw him arrested, the condescension of this failed son of an upstart dynasty of sister-fucking abominations, soon he could put them all behind him along with the rest of the filth.

    “The King’s Justice has been dispensed, with Fire and Blood!” said Aerys Targaryen over the awkward silence of the court. “But that was merely the first step in redressing the wrongs inflicted upon the Realm by the order of traitors. Lord Darklyn! Step forward.”

    Lord Denys of the House Darklyn emerged from amidst the other courtiers, strode upon the smooth marble of the great hall and bent the knee at the foot of the Iron Throne.

    “Having verified the veracity of the ghastly assassination, subornation, line theft, and line extinction conspiracies perpetrated by the Order of Maesters, as confirmed beyond doubt by two Wardens of the Realm, the Iron Throne hereby issues the following proclamation.” Which Aerys should have done before calling Denys forward, but an upstart wouldn’t be an upstart if he didn’t like to see you kneel. “From this moment forth, allowing any one institution to control all knowledge and communication in the Seven Kingdoms will no more be borne!”

    A stir went through the court.

    “The matter of House Hightower’s potential sedition remains to be settled.” Denys couldn’t find anything ‘potential’ about his tone, nor about the conspicuous absence of Ser Gerold Hightower who used to lead the Whitecloaks until a moon ago. “But the Iron Throne is of firm and immutable view on this point. Therefore, the Crown hereby calls for the establishment of a new order of learned men, one removed from the reach and influence of whichsoever forces may or may not still be entrenched in House Hightower’s pets.”

    It spoke to how deeply entrenched the Citadel was in the day to day reality of Westeros that over half the court was still surprised at the decree.

    “Nevertheless, the Crown is neither blind nor lacking informed counsel with regards to the enormous endeavour that is establishing a new order of learned men.” Counsel which Denys had been prompt to sail down from Duskendale to volunteer. Immediately. The same day the first proclamation reached him. “Backing. Coin. The traffic of men and goods that only a harbour can supply. The patronage of a prestigious House. Closeness to the Crown, yet not so much that a similar conspiracy would be even better positioned to strike against the Realm, should this folly prove intrinsic to those who fancy themselves wise. Lord Darklyn. Please rise.”

    It took you bloody long enough. He stood and faced the king, making sure not to look at the fake lion lest he truly go blind from vainglory. Denys had never shied from drinking full from the cup of envy. After all, the envy of your enemies always tasted so very sweet. This was neither the time nor place to revel in it though.

    “Lord Darklyn. The Crown is of the mind that your House Seat more than fulfils all the conditions for establishing a new Citadel. Do you accept this honor?”

    “If that is the will of Your Grace, I will humbly accept.”

    “Receive, then, the Crown’s decree.” Aerys Targaryen motioned to his Hand, who handed a gilded scroll over to Ser Jonnothor Darry to deliver. “A new title, Keeper of the Wise, to be held by you and your heirs after you. A new Royal Charter for the City of Duskendale, lifting all boundaries of expansion and affirming the right to set and change all aspects of governance as House Darklyn sees fit. Furthermore, the burden of taxation is hereby lifted from the city and its dependencies. These boons shall last until such a time as the new Citadel, in whatever name is decided on by its founders, has achieved parity with the Citadel of Oldtown in representation among the landed nobility of the realm.”

    Still amazed he’d managed to cajole such open-ended terms from himself, Denys took the scroll from Darry and opened it for a quick perusal. This, too, was part of the pageantry, as no one could be expected to read this grand a document for the first time in such a setting. Denys gave it a quick skim anyway. Speed-reading was among his more useful skills, and reading a given contract was just good sense, even if terms had been agreed beforehand down... to the… wording…

    His eyes flew over the writing and abruptly stopped at the terms of taxation.

    “Ahem.”

    Denys slowly lifted his eyes to meet those of Tywin ‘Lannister,’ in whose stone-cold mien he could nonetheless see the spark of petty vindication as clearly as he’d come to recognise the spark of madness in the king.

    “Lord Darklyn,” Aerys impatiently called. “Do you or do you not accept this honor?”

    “… I accept with my most humble thanks, Your Grace,” Denys replied, acutely aware of the time, the place, the wholly red and gold livery of the troops ensuring his ‘safety’ since the Hand’s return to King’s Landing, and the vivid memory of the king’s reaction to Pycelle’s tortured screams. “Though I would like to extend my appreciation to the Lord Hand as well.”

    Aerys seemed to be taken by a sudden fury, but Denys couldn’t help but appreciate even more the way Tywin ‘Lannister’s’ well hidden satisfaction faltered.

    “Is that so?” Aerys Targaryen mused with thinly veiled outrage. “Do go on, then. Express your appreciation for my dear and old friend.”

    “Indeed, Your Grace.” He was more determined than ever to not associate the word ‘Targaryen’ with ‘my’ and ‘king’ even in his head. “I am confident that all rumors and gossip about a rift between you and your Hand will die a final death within the week. Why, the moment I learned of Lord Tywin’s delegation in Oldtown, I was convinced that they are, and always have been, but empty words spread by despicable malcontents.”

    Utter silence filled the Great Hall.

    “I confess to once having some small measure of pride in my quickness of action and forthrightness,” Denys added humbly. “But now I see how paltry such feelings were. I admit I wanted to disbelieve when I first heard it, this morning while checking on my ship down in the harbour. But now I see truly that even my most well informed counsel is nothing next to Your Grace’s foresight. Truly, Your Grace is blessed to have found a Hand capable of so thoroughly predicting and acting out your will. If not by your command, why else would your Hand’s own brothers have been collecting Maesters and books in Oldtown all this time?”

    Lord Tywin’s face turned so dark that for half a heartbeat Denys wondered if someone had beaten him to poisoning his wine.

    “Why else indeed,” murmured Aerys Targaryen, the spark of madness now turned towards away from Denys entirely.

    Does your envy taste sweet now, Lydden? This is why you’re not supposed to drink from your own cup. “By your leave, your Grace, I will set out to do your will.”

    “… Granted.” The King allowed at length, still staring at his Hand. “Fair winds, Lord Keeper.”

    Denys bowed low one last time, but his last glance as he turned away was for Tywin alone.

    It must kill you that I got here first.

    He made it to the docks without getting attacked, assassinated or mobbed. Only the last wasn’t surprising after the ‘show’ of the day. How many other people wondered about the way the King had looked and breathed by the time the late Grand Maester’s screams finally ended? Because if he didn’t know better, Denys could swear Aerys Targaryen had almost looked aroused.

    He missed the tide, but he’d expected it. It was why he’d come in the morning, before the burning, to order the captain to lift anchor if he should be delayed. He requisitioned a boat, making sure to pick an oarsman he remembered working the docks since before Tywin’s return from the Westerlands. He made it to his ship without issue and sent the man back with a silver moon for his troubles.

    Once aboard, they cast off immediately, just as a small flotilla arrived from the south led by a galley larger than anything Denys had ever been on, bearing the Hightower beacon on its sails. For a moment, he regretted missing whatever drama would ensue next, but ultimately decided leaving was best. He was already losing his grip on the real emotions he was feeling.

    Absolutely murderous.

    He spent some time on the top deck. Watched his captain and the crew as they moved around him. Listened to their voices. Traced the banners on the sails of the ships coming and going. Waved back at the large, jolly man that hollered greetings at them from the top mast of the Baratheon flagship as it went the opposite way. He stared after it for a time, watching the ship and the steadily shrinking image of King’s Landing in the distance. Tried to imagine that the fading smell of shit took his murderous rage down with it.

    It didn’t work.

    He turned away from the aft, went to exchange some quick words with the captain, then headed for the sailor tying rigging near the front on the starboard side and stabbed him through the kidney.

    “URGK!”

    His sword wrenched through flesh, came out the other side with a wet squelch and sunk dully into the taffrail.

    “Do you know what else I remember besides faces?” Denys asked idly, pulling the gurgling man by the hair. “Voices. And your Westerlander accent is not as buried in trade tongue as you think, my friend.” He viciously twisted his sword.

    The man screamed in agony.

    “I also tend to mind timing.” Denys pulled his sword out and stabbed the man through the arse, cutting his cock in half on the way out.

    The shriek this time was of considerably higher pitch.

    “Truly, Lydden is a fool if he thinks I’d not wonder at my man’s death to ‘mugging’ just days after his arrival to the city, leaving a spot conveniently free for an interloper to insinuate himself into my crew.”

    Denys yanked his sword out, pushed the screaming man overboard, reassured his crew that he didn’t hold this one slip against them, and spent the next hour cleaning, sharpening and oiling his sword. Then he took over the would be spy’s job.

    His captain wouldn’t have hired someone unless it was strictly necessary and the ship wasn’t going to man itself.

    They didn’t find anything blatantly incriminating among the new hire’s things, save for a tad too many silvers. Not that he expected anything else. He didn’t actually think Tywin expected such a transparent ploy to work, because it didn’t need to work if all you wanted to send was a warning. Such a shame he played that piece so early.

    Denys Darklyn spent the trip home plying his well-honed mariner skills by day, and too often failing to rest at night. He was too angry. And too angry to stop being angry, lest the rage give way to something else.

    He didn’t take his time appreciating the view of his home the evening when it finally came into view. Didn’t emerge from his cabin until they were docked. Didn’t linger to smile, wave and talk to his people, who always appreciated their lord remembering their names and faces and asking after their families, and treated him like a thoughtful patriarch in return.

    Instead, he secured a horse, rode swiftly out of the harbour and up the cobbled streets, sped through and past the market, and did the same for the rest of the way to the Dun Fort, the squat, square stone castle with round drum towers where his line had lived since time immemorial, unbroken and never usurped.

    Unlike some other lines he could name.

    It was in the privacy of the quarters he shared with his lovely wife that Denys, Lord of the House Darklyn of Duskendale, finally loosed the grip on his emotions.

    “The Seven Hells take every man, woman and child spawned by the name Lydden!” He roared, throwing the charter scroll onto the bed in disgust. “And may the Stranger devour the fake lion alive for a thousand years!”

    “Well now!” Serala exclaimed in surprise. “You’re mighty angry for someone whose last raven said everything went as well as we’d hoped. Better even. Care to share what ails you, husband?”

    “The mad lion that calls himself Lannister is no better than a child throwing a tantrum over losing his toy! He took Aerys’ decree and changed the wording. Instead of sparing House Darklyn from paying taxes, it also spares the city and everyone in it form paying taxes to us!

    “He did what?”

    “He’s beggared us!”

    The last rays of daylight passed in a whirlwind of curses, rage and recriminations hurled against the walls along with papers, tables and bottles of firewine. The night passed too, in a fervor of lowly voiced rage, talks and planning. Serala tried no end of ways to calm and soothe him, and incite him to passionate hatemaking when that didn’t work. He rebuffed her. He couldn’t stomach the thought of thinking of that man while bedding his own wife. Not any man and especially not that usurper bastard.

    He’d always known that line theft never led to anything but miscreants that never knew their place, but that bastard line… it truly was the worst. May the gods curse the soul of Joffrey Lydden, no matter how much poetic justice there was in the line of Lann the Usurper being in turn usurped by lesser blood.

    It was well past the Hour of the Wolf when his rage finally began to exhaust itself. His thoughts were starting to clear again, though their paths were no less dark than they’d been since the throne room. He found that he didn’t regret playing his own piece when he did.

    You should have used some of those guards to kill rumors coming from the docks instead of minding me, usurper dog.

    Not that it would have worked. The report about Tywin’s little poaching operation had actually come via a Merchant’s Guild raven, conveyed to him by a man from a business he had stake in. Actual rumors wouldn’t make it for another week most likely, if not longer. Especially if the Hightower ship had left before Lannister’s brothers arrived at Oldtown, which it must have, to reach King’s Landing when it did. Notwithstanding all the ravens and their maesters that every Guild employed.

    The Faith too. Denys wondered what chaos would occur back in the capital when the High Septon inevitably came in screaming about that other nasty business that seemed to have taken place back west. Assuming it wasn’t just a poor jape, or the ramblings of a man too far into his cups.

    “What are you thinking, husband?”

    “Stupidity.” The Citadel’s. The king’s. Tywin Lydden’s. His own. “And the chaos it brings.”

    “My family back in Myr would tell you that chaos is a ladder.”

    “Aye, a mighty fine ladder it is when the chaos strikes at its own foundation and your ladder falls down faster than you can climb it.” Denys scoffed. “When a ship springs a leak, the lions roar. If no-one heeds them, they jump to swim ashore with powerful strokes of big paws. When the holds fill with water, the rats that have been squeaking silently about it abandon ship in droves to seek the closest tower to gnaw at its foundation until it topples. Only the monkey continues to climb the mast of the sinking ship, proclaiming to be the highest of all."

    His words settled eerily in the near total darkness of the winter night.

    The quiet sat poorly on his mind. “What do you think, dear wife?”

    “I think, dear husband…” Serala said from where she sat on the bed, thoughtfully biting on her lower lip while running light fingers over the charter. Seen in the reflected light from the moon and distant snow outside, the silks of the Lace Serpent were undone in just the right way to entice his imagination. He cursed Tywin Lydden all over again. “I think Tywin Lannister might not be as clever as he thinks he is.”

    “Clever or not, he’s gone too far.” Denys turned away from the window. “And I promise you now, that man will die screaming.”

    The walls of Duskendale shimmered palely in the predawn as the Keeper of the Wise plotted murder.
     
    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (The Storm)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member


    fagRmu5.jpg


    THE STORM

    “-. 274 AC .-“​


    Gods below, King’s Landing smelled like shit! Even after his prior visits, the stench was so overpowering that he nearly fell over as soon as they entered the harbour. Which would have been an embarrassing end to the glorious epic of his life, seeing as he was standing atop the Windproud’s highest spar at the time! Fortunately, he was able to climb down the rigging without suffering anything more serious than rope burn. Not that Cressen fussed over him any less, but that was par for the course with the good maester. Honestly, that man! And he didn’t have the decency to even pretend at having the same problem. Goes to show what sort of iron stomach tasting piss every morning gets you.

    They arrived half-way through low tide while the bigger quays were already occupied, so the Windproud couldn’t dock outright, having to instead lay anchor out in the shallows. That was all to the good though! It let him send a few men ahead of their own boat to ready horses and scout out the situation, as it were. Which they did most gallantly!

    If only he could say the same about the news, but he couldn’t! It wasn’t gallant! It wasn’t gallant at all!

    One frantic dash to their new mounts and a positively unheroic charge to the Red Keep later, Steffon Baratheon barged into the Great Hall just in time to hear the tail-ends of the verdict.

    “-the gall to present yourself now, after all is said and done, and claim no part! You, whose forebears all but dispossessed House Targaryen during the Dance of Dragons! You sit there professing innocence as if we should be unaware that Hightower has always played both sides whenever others sought to usurp the Seven Kingdoms and its way of life! The streets of Oldtown are red with the blood of those you silenced, and still you’d have me believe you and yours were wholly nonbelligerent! Even though your actions are the singular reason why none may make any account of the truth! And now you dare mock the Gods as well, throwing my offer of Trial by Battle in my face! But then you would, wouldn’t you? You Hightowers never fight a battle you don’t stack, why would you start here? I wonder, is there even anyone left that would speak for you now?”

    “Forsooth!” Steffon bellowed, pushing past the last gawkers into the open. “Who cares about speaking for him, I’ve a mind to speak at him a spell! You!”

    Lord Leyton Hightower stared at him from where he was kneeling at the foot of the throne, two Kingsguard swords crossed at his neck.

    “Yes, you! What’s wrong with you? Stop gawking, man! So what if everyone’s a pussy and won’t fight for you? Who cares if it’s a Kingsguard pulling the other sword? So what if you don’t think you’ll win, you should still try! Oh, it’s hopeless so there’s no point in trying, is that it? You want to preserve some last shred of glory instead of dying ignobly, is that it? Who cares if it steals your last shred of glory!? Glory is for the soldier! For the levy, the warrior, for the writer of songs! A paltry comfort for those who need it, barely any reward at all! The shiny liquor to numb the pain of atrocity! We’re high lords, we don’t get to indulge this fantasy! There’s just two things we get to rely on: duty and sense! Your duty to your people and your duty to the cause, whatever it is! Will you just sit there quietly, not doing your part? Your people did their duty, didn’t they? They sacrificed for the cause, and then were sacrificed when they strayed from it, isn’t that right? It’s your turn now! If your duty is to know when that sacrifice must come, then you’ve already failed once, haven’t you? Are you going to fail again? So much for sense! Sense isn’t just about seeing all paths to victory, it’s about sacrifice with clarity! Don’t fall so hard for one path that you ignore the others! Or will you reject the way forward because the things that drove you to this point happen to suck balls? Only a fool is ruled by pain or emotion! Only the weak try to cut themselves off these feelings instead of controlling them! Don’t numb yourself to survival or death, whether yours or anyone else’s, or you’re as good as dead! The dead do no good for anyone!”

    The Great Hall of the Red Keep fairly shook as if beset by gale winds, as well it should! Then everyone everywhere looked at the Lord of Storm’s End and Paramount of the Stormlands as if they couldn’t even begin to comprehend his great wisdom, as usual. Even Tywin from up next to the throne. He even had the nerve to close his eyes as if in pain, the goldilocked shite! Never mind that he was only speaking common sense!

    “…Lord Baratheon.”

    “My king!” Steffon beamed. “Thank the gods these pressures are not imposing on you unduly, you almost look self-possessed! I wouldn’t look half as kept if I were beset by so many rats, let alone if I’d suffered so many ‘losses’ in my family.” He took a pause after air quoting to inspect Aerys’ appearance properly. When he was done, he let his public smile be replaced by his other, warmer one. “I’m glad.”

    Aerys seemed taken aback. By his warmth? Or maybe his honesty? Maybe he was just shocked to see him at all. He could never tell with him, Targaryens were always so dramatic!

    “Steffon,” Aerys sighed, slumping back on the Iron Throne only to jerk in place with a hiss as he cut himself on some blade or other. Something ugly overtook his face. “Lord Baratheon. You were not called to speak.”

    “I wasn’t summoned to Court either, Your Grace, yet here I am.”

    “Yes, as my own eyes inform me.” The king’s tone sounded beset by some dark something Steffon didn’t bother dwelling on. “And as my ears just informed me that you interrupted the King’s Justice to indulge a rant in the middle of my hall. Of all the gall you’ve ever shown, this one overshadows them all. You’d better have a very good explanation!”

    “I beg forgiveness, your grace, even if I can’t promise not to do it again, this cannot be borne! Seeing a man strive for the lowest of the low is like watching people try for the middle ground, it’s just silly! Nobody ever knows how to be entirely good or entirely bad, how the hell are you supposed to know what balance even is? The only thing you should ever strive towards is your best! This is nobody’s best!”

    For a moment the court seemed to be acting as a single being, unified in its disbelief at the balls it took to come out and say that with a straight face. Tywin in particular was looking down at him as if he doubted his sanity. Shows what they know! Long as you believe what you’re saying, there’s nothing easier than keeping a straight face! Now to see if Aerys took that as an attack on him, in which case he might need to-

    “Treachery!” Came hollering from behind. “Treachery! Despoiler! Heresy!”

    The High Septon barged into the throne room via the main entrance instead of a side door like Steffon had. His High Holiness looked windswept, dishevelled and frothing at the mouth, almost.

    “Heresy! Blasphemy! Murder!”

    “Oh ford Gods’ sake!” Aerys slammed a fist against his armrest. Steffon was relieved when he didn’t cut himself on anything. “What now?

    Right then and there, in the midst of a lord’s trial in the Great Hall of the Red Keep in King’s Landing, the High Septon went on a long, shrieking rant about Oldtown, House Hightower, septons being killed in the streets, and how Lord Leyton being a breath away from being burned alive could only be part of some master plan to distract from this atrocity being inflicted on the Faith of the Seven. Obviously.

    Wait a second… “Septons are being killed in the streets!?”

    The King’s Court almost erupted in a riot if not for Ser Guayne Gaunt of the Kingsguard grabbing the spear from one of the sentries and slamming it against the marble floor. Several times.

    Loudly.

    “You must answer this vile butchery immediately!” The High Septon screamed at the King, proving that his ability to read the room was as skewed as the crystal crown wobbling on his head. “When King Jaehaerys the Conciliator refused to repeal Maegor the Cruel’s decree that the Faith Militant be disbanded, he did so with the promise that House Targaryen take up defense of the Faith in its stead! Never has the Iron Throne failed in this charge so utterly! I demand that-!”

    “YOU DO NOT MAKE DEMANDS OF YOUR KING!”

    Aerys Targaryen’s screech was like the scratchy bellow of a dragon having its wings torn out.

    His High Holiness reared back as if struck and the crystal crown clattered to the floor. When it came to a halt at Steffon’s feet, it was cracked straight through.

    When the chamber was once more settled, insofar as it could after such ‘excitement,’ King Aerys Targaryen the Second sat back down on the monstrosity of swords, rubbed his temple and glared down at the kneeling man.

    “Well? What have you to say on all this, Lord Hightower?”

    “My son moves even faster than I expected,” the man replied with all the fatalism of one secure in the knowledge that his end had arrived one way or another. “But I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, given the strong emotion that youth and idealism tends to engender against child-buggering shitstains.”

    … What.

    A black cloud gathered in Steffon’s stomach as the court erupted into uproar anew. He batted it away. Later. He’d deal with this new revelation later, when his current task was done.

    The High Septon went to speak again, but Ser Gaunt had approached by then, sword hilt held in warning.

    Lord Hightower continued with that same parody of composure. “Perhaps I was wrong to keep the knowledge from my heir for so long, but I still hoped my investigation of the Citadel’s rot might turn out sufficient information to deal with this other matter more delicately. The Starry Sept couldn’t be in on such things, I told myself. The Mansions of the Pious could not be entrenched with child buggering shitstains, I told myself.” Four ladies of the more delicate persuasion fainted in the background. “Unfortunately, in my disbelief I disregarded the truth until it was too late. Perhaps I chose not to believe, lest other, darker suspicions prove true as well. After all, if the maesters and septons could work in lockstep to prey on the young in the Scribe’s Hearth, what else might they be collaborating on?”

    The High Septon’s apoplectic state suddenly shifted into something closer to horror.

    “Whether or not my inaction emboldened the grey rats into committing to their insane agenda, I know not. But that it allowed them the time to overstep so soundly is undeniable. And so here I am come to account for my inaction. Only for my inaction.” Leyton Hightower looked up at the king with all the self-assurance of a man who’d just made it sound like his inaction was the only reason the grey rats had been exposed at all, and therefore he had done them all a favour. “If I am to get a last request, it is merely that my heir’s actions receive fair judgment. In the words spoken just now by the High Septon himself, the King is the Shield of the Faith. As my son is but striving to cut out the canker eating at the foundation of our people’s spiritual pillar, he is only carrying out Your Grace’s will and the will of the Seven.”

    “You will not claim to be doing the Seven’s will!” The High Septon screamed. “You-you… you butcher! Do not make claims of virtue, when your own spawn does nothing but sit back and watch the sheep set themselves upon their own shepherds!”

    “Wait, what?” Steffon asked when everyone else proved too much of a pussy to speak up. “I thought you said he was the one doing the purging?”

    “There is nothing to purge!” The High Septon roared before Steffon had a chance to realise how his choice of words could be taken. His High Holiness then went on a second, even longer rant about heresy, butchery, septons being lynched in the streets not by knights or guards but by smallfolk, and how House Hightower had no right to claim any moral high standing in the whole mess. “You have no right to claim to be doing the Seven’s will!” The High Septon’s spittle flew everywhere as he proved once and for all his determination to go down in history as House Hightower’s greatest asset. “Your son does nothing but play at trying to contain the madness! All the ravens are clear!”

    There was a brief moment of stillness, then the revelation sunk and the Court went in an uproar again, because of course it did. This time, though, Steffon couldn’t fault them for it. It was one thing for a member of the nobility to seek retribution in blood against the Faith for whatever reason. Even for House Hightower and their ancestral ties with the Starry Sept, the common word for that was ‘folly.’ But for the smallfolk to be the ones lynching their spiritual shepherds in the streets… well, that spoke of vastly different things.

    Steffon Baratheon watched Leyton Hightower for signs that his surprise at the sudden news was feigned. He couldn’t find any. Then he watched the High Septon, wondering how such an imprudent man even got the post. Maybe he should look into the septs and septries in his own demesne too, he thought with dismay, and how their holy priests got appointed. If something so disgusting was happening in the heart of the Faith itself, how much worse would it be outside the sight of the great beacon?

    When Steffon looked up at the throne, it was to see Aerys one word away from calling for everybody’s heads and letting the Seven sort the mess out themselves.

    “My king,” Steffon called before sense lost its grip on the eye of the storm entirely. He stepped forward and put a friendly hand on the High Septon’s shoulder. “Before we were interrupted, you asked me for an explanation.”

    “You-“ His High Holiness choked off as Steffon’s grip on his shoulder turned tighter. Just a tad.

    “…I did indeed,” Aerys ground out at length, his voice turned raspy and his fists tight on the sides of the Iron Throne. “Go ahead then. Tell me. Why are you here?”

    “Because a dear friend is here and he needs me. Word reached me by wind and wave of plots most foul and grim done upon him and his by the most despicable, dastardly miscreants! I waited for word from him. I wrote him. Sent runners even. All to no avail! I know not if it was treachery or if he’s decided he only deserves my friendship when things are bright and well. Either way, I could not bear it! So here I am! I’ve brought stout men to stand guard against further insult and injury. I’ve brought my healer, a man loyal and true. And I’ve brought myself, because with all respect to Your Grace, fair-weather friendship can go fuck itself! If my King permits, I would attend to my friend as soon as can be.”

    What followed was a very long something like the quiet in Storm’s End’s Hall of Legacy, except without the pleasant chill of the underearth. The looks had nothing on the dignified seemings of the Durrandon statues and carvings there either. The court, the High Septon, Lord Hightower, even Tywin looked upon him with nothing but incredulity. To say the absolute least. The Others bugger them all very much.

    “I…” And above them all, King Aerys of House Targaryen looked like he didn’t know if he should feel disbelieving or stricken. “… I-I’ll allow it.”

    Steffon Baratheon made no mystery of his joy. If only Aerys could bear it!

    He couldn’t. Instead, the king stood from his throne and looked anywhere but at him. “Lord Hightower’s trial will be deferred until these newest… developments can be taken into proper consideration. Court is adjourned.”

    “All rise!” Thundered the voice of Lord Commander Harlan Grandison. “All rise for Aerys Targaryen, the Second of His Name, by the grace of the Old Gods and New Gods, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.”

    “-. .-“​

    Court that day ended to the fatalistic bemusement of the condemned, the sputtering apoplexy of the holy, and a general state of bewilderment from all other ends.

    A fine day’s work!

    Now, first thing’s first: annoy Tywin!

    “Tywin!” Steffon crowed on entering the solar of the Hand of the King. “Old friend! You old mouser!”

    “Steffon. What are you doing.”

    “I am hugging my friend!” Steffon bellowed in Tywin’s ear because the uptight arse always cringed so beautifully. “Don’t think I missed those looks, you cantankerous shite!” He rubbed his cheek into the man’s goldilocks a few times just to tangle them in his beard. Then he snuck a kiss to the man’s crown before pulling away, because Tywin’s mama didn’t live long enough to do that job and, by all the Gods, he’d either fill that void or the look on goldilocks’ face will kill him. One way or the other, he always had his way!

    Ah, friendship! The duty that never ends!

    Tywin beat a most dignified retreat behind his massive mahogany desk.

    What a sad day! You should never retreat in the face of true love!

    “You are far too jolly after what all transpired.”

    “And you’re still a fucking dandy.” Steffon needed only glance around the office to prove his point. Gods, his green livery clashed with Tywin’s décor something fierce. Even the gold stag embroidered on his tunic didn’t fit the rest of the gold and red. With how fancy everything was in the Red Keep, you could almost forget the city just outside was an utter cesspool of disease where more people died than were born because they only ate bread and cheese.

    “I’d almost believe that was a deflection if I hadn’t just seen you exhibit the same lack of subtlety as ever. Your skill in double speak is even more atrocious than before.”

    “I’m deferring judgment!” Steffon ignored the barb. Maesters being cunts? Hightower being Hightower? Child buggering septons that he’d murder with his bare hands wherever he found them? Bah! “I didn’t come here for any of that.”

    “You should be ashamed of that display in the hall.”

    “Never.”

    There was silence between them, and not entirely of the comfortable kind. Not that silences involving Tywin Lannister could ever be comfortable, the man was as prickly as an eldmother’s tongue on a good day. This was pricklier than usual though. But wait, that was a good sign! If the man hadn’t grown new barbs after finding out his maester was a traitorous cunt that might or might not have done despicable things to his wife and children, now that would be a problem!

    Steffon inspected the other man. “You’ve been working yourself to distraction, haven’t you? That’s not right! You should let yourself grieve first! Otherwise you’ll just make shit decisions!”

    “Do I look grief-stricken to you?”

    “No, that’s my point!”

    “My ability to make decisions is unimpaired, I assure you.”

    “I’d take you at your word if you hadn’t told me yourself to never do that. Constantly. For the entirety of the Ninepenny war.”

    Tywin said nothing, pulling a parchment to read instead.

    “You’re determined to make this awkward, aren’t you?” Steffon did not hide his amusement. “You really think you can do me one better? Really?”

    Tywin sighed in his chair and pinched his nosebridge. “Must you be so exhausting?”

    “That you tire of me so quickly only shows how exhausting everything is in the rest of your life! That’s my point!”

    “That’s not a point, it’s an opinion.” The other man affected his well-honed impression of a stone. “Are you done?”

    “Of course not!”

    “I thought as much. As per usual, you will not be satisfied until you’ve driven me to wonder why I even suffer you.”

    “Oh please. If you didn’t have me, you’d have no joy in your life at all!”

    Tywin’s return look could easily be described in words, but Steffon decided to be gracious and spare him the humbling. This once. “Don’t give me that look,” Steffon said instead. “You know you love me.”

    “What I am is approaching the point where I wonder why I still haven’t had you assassinated.”

    “Because you love me.”

    “Steffon…” Tywin Lannister sighed in that condescending way of Tywin Lannister when he was being condescending without wanting to admit to himself he was being condescending because he didn’t want to acknowledge he wasn’t allowed to be condescending to his peers lest he face the reality that there were such things as peers instead of everyone else in the world being mere sheep to be lorded over. The cunt.

    Unfortunately for the prickly lion, he didn’t get to vent his misaimed condescension because that was when Ser Jonothor Darry of the Kingsguard arrived. Came with orders to lead Steffon to a private audience with the king at his pleasure.

    That was always double speak for ‘right now’ so of course Steffon disregarded it entirely and bid Darry to wait while he sent his former castellan to fetch Maester Cressen. The proud Ser Harbert looked like he wanted to protest being made a dogsbody but held his tongue. As well he should! Ser Arsehole was still in the kennels for being such a shit to his boy. Honestly, that poor bird had barely healed! Of course a few weeks wouldn’t be enough to train it!

    Gods, with uncles like this, who needs in-laws?

    “So, my Lord Hand! Any advice?”

    “… King Aerys is his father’s son,” Tywin reluctantly deigned to enlighten him. “And his father was his father’s son before him.”

    “Why thank you, Lord Lannister, that tells me a whole lot of dog shit. Now pull the other one.”

    “Don’t try to force his Grace to love you.”

    “What!?” Steffon roared. “Don’t be ridiculous, I’d never do that!”

    “You’ve been trying just that this whole time,” Tywin said, reaching for his wine goblet.

    “Don’t be ridiculous. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably just crap anyway!”

    Bugger didn’t spittake, the uptight arse. All these years and still not one success. Oh well, one day.

    One day!

    The walk to the King’s chambers was long and solemn. Very long and solemn. They had to leave the Tower of the Hand, cross over to the far end of Maegor’s Holdfast, and navigate around and up several staircases and corridors before they reached their destination. Once there, the other Kingsguard on watch denied Cressen entry. Oh well, nothing to it then!

    He put his hands on the maester’s small, bony shoulders and smiled. “Wait here. It’ll be alright.”

    Cressen didn’t look reassured.

    As usual, no one believed him when it counted. It was like people up to his most trusted were incapable of understanding the simple truth that that he’d never said a lie in his life.

    Lord Steffon of the House Baratheon was ushered into the sight of Aerys Targaryen standing near a desk and staring at a candle flame in what he knew weren’t his normal apartments. Both because he’d been in them before, and because the present ones had no windows.

    There, finally, was the king. Tall, haggard, platinum-haired, and wearing the fakest look of scorn as if it could hide that he was more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

    When the door closed with the solid thunk of freshly oiled hinges, Steffon struck.

    He stormed towards the man, pulled his dagger –

    “Wha-GUARDS!”

    - went to his knees, laid the blade at the king’s feet and raised his folded hands just as the door slammed open.

    Steffon kept his head bowed and waited.

    “… Guard,” Aerys finally rasped, sounding shook. “… A chair for my guest.”

    There was a brief pause, then the sound of armored feet and the closing of the door. Steffon stayed as he was until the man returned with the seat and left again.

    Aerys took Steffon’s hands in his own. Slowly. Hesitatingly. “… Rise, my lord.”

    Steffon stood and loomed over the king in the dimness. It seemed as though it was closer to midnight than midday, such was the sparseness of the light in that well-appointed, awful place. Neither of them remarked on the room being already furnished with a lounge and four different chairs.

    Aerys had his eyes averted and made to back away, so Steffon took his hands in his own instead, stopping him in his tracks. “Stark’s raven and then nothing. Hours going up and down Storm’s End asking questions of my son and my household. Days spent verifying my maester’s loyalty. Weeks of ravens flying between Storm’s End and every childless lord and widower that could serve as interim castellan, and who had a maester that could be spared in Cressen’s stead. And yet I’d have dropped it all instantly if you’d just called for me. Instead, I had to learn of things from hearsay. From rumors. Sailors at the docks, Aerys, why didn’t you call for me?”

    “I needn’t explain myself to you!” The king hissed, pulling away. “You have no claim to the thoughts of your king. You are but the Crown’s servant. Remember that!”

    “As you say,” Steffon nodded. “I’ll spare you my mind and see to my friend’s wellbeing instead, if my king’s leave still stands?”

    Aerys bit back several things he wanted to say, looked away with something that could have been either spite or shame, and backed away until he fell in the nearest, biggest chair.

    Steffon stood in the near-darkness and waited.

    “… It stands.”

    “I’m glad.” Steffon walked forward and forewent any seating, going instead to one knee before the other man. He watched him for a while. Waited for the man to grow comfortable with him so close. Even with how tall Aerys was, Steffon still stood as tall as his chin and twice as broad. When Aerys didn’t look like he was about to bolt anymore, he reached into a belt pouch and began pulling out grooming tools one after another, setting them on the ground over his handkerchief. He was no fucking dandy, thank you very much, but that didn’t change the fact that looking as good as he did was hard work!

    Steffon picked up the comb and began working on the end of Aerys’ long beard. “My friend seems to have suffered some small injuries to his person due to the nature of his work. I would bring in my healer to tend to him. Will my king allow it?”

    The beard felt almost like silk. Figured that even the longest and thickest Targaryen beard would feel smoother than a woman’s hair.

    “…Do you vouch for him?”

    “With my life.”

    “… Why?”

    Steffon snorted. “Because dear old dad was too optimistic, that’s why!” Silky or not, that there beard was right tangled. “Turns out old Cressen was suspicious of certain Citadel rats since before he even made it out of there. Going to my father with his concerns was the first thing he did. Unfortunately, he didn’t really have any real evidence and my father dismissed his worries. Can’t even blame the old man, ancestors hold him, who would have ever believed the maesters were up to no good?”

    “Who indeed?” Aerys asked bitterly.

    Steffon continued grooming the king, knowing that forgetfulness was the last thing he should worry about when it came to Aerys Targaryen.

    “If your maester proves treacherous, your head will roll right along his.”

    “As you say.”

    Cressen was ushered in. The old maester looked rather harassed and a tad less well kept than earlier, but he mastered himself quickly and went to inspect the king as fastidiously as always.

    Steffon worked with Cressen to help the king bare himself down to the waist. Then he resumed combing the royal beard while Cressen poked, prodded and wiped at the royal arms and back with his cloths and tinctures.

    “The old cuts have scabbed and I’ve cleaned the latest wounds, your Grace,” Cressen said when Steffon was just about done smoothing out the royal whiskers. “But I can see some signs of potential infection. I can apply boiled wine or Myrish Fire, but it works best on skin freshly washed.”

    “We’ll have a bath drawn up,” Steffon said blithely. “That is, if my king approves?”

    “… I’ll allow it.”

    Steffon smiled gladly and squeezed the king’s hands in thanks, then stood, went to retrieve his knife, came back and began to inspect the royal nails. A murder weapon wasn’t what he’d usually use for this, but this time it might be warranted. Them dragons grew some right gnarly claws when they let themselves go.

    He spent the time it took the servants to draw a bath cutting back the nails, cutting them even further with his small field shears, then polishing them with his nail file. Aerys was looking at him fairly strangely by the end. Steffon beamed. “Never leave home without it!”

    “… You are ridiculous.”

    “And handsome! I would like to get my friend cleaned up now, if my king allows?”

    The look Aerys gave him… Steffon couldn’t see it well in the darkness, but his raw voice made it unnecessary regardless. “… I’ll allow it.”

    He helped the king undress and get into the bath, then sat on a chair next to him to wash his hair while Cressen bathed him and fussed over the man’s arms and back, keeping a running tally of every nick and scrape and what he was doing to each. Steffon let the maester’s words wash over him as he cleaned the royal scalp, making sure to go slow and steady to give the good maester all the time he needed to carefully clean and treat all the cuts, new and old.

    When he was done, Steffon helped the king out of the tub, led him to the lounge and held his hands while Cressen applied his treatments and bandages. Aerys closed his eyes and grit his teeth when the Myrish Fire had its turn, but said nothing. Only gripped Steffon’s hands tight while waiting for the pain to go away.

    “I believe we are done,” Cressen said finally, wiping his hands with a cloth and beginning to pack his supplies back in the kit. Normally he’d have them spread in pockets all over his person, but Steffon had made him dress like a regular servant until things died down. Fortunately, winter meant the man was able to wear a scarf on the ride over, so that no one need see the chain around his neck. “I will need to check on the gauze and bandages every morning and evening for the next two or three days, but the chance of infection is as remote as it can be now.”

    “I’ll decide that. Leave us.”

    “Of course, Your Grace.” Cressen nodded to the king, then to Steffon and left.

    Steffon helped Aerys dress in fresh clothing and went to work on combing the royal hair. He made a show of doing one last inspection of the royal beard and hands as well. He manfully refrained from criticising the king’s dainty fingers. No proper warrior’s hands, these. He bent the knee and took the king’s hands in his own again instead, watching his face in the deepening darkness. “When did you last rest? Truly rest?”

    What could be seen of the king’s face in that gloom was like a sneer of disgust twisted upon itself. The light cast by the lone candle played sinisterly over it. His shadow on the wall looked like a beasts biting its own neck.

    When the silence broke again, it was Aerys that did it, though he spoke so lowly that Steffon didn’t understand a word.

    “I have no idea what you just said.”

    “…I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

    “Oh.” Oh. “Alright then.”

    “Nothing is alright!” Aerys barked before gritting his teeth against whatever else was about to come out. “You asked me earlier why I didn’t call for you.” Even that whispered admission seemed to pain the man. “That’s why.”

    “Begging Your Grace’s pardon, that’s a shit reason.”

    The noise that churned its way out of Aerys’ throat was so bizarre that Steffon only belatedly recognized it as laughter.

    “How easily you judge!” The king pushed his hands away, stood and retreated from him. “How easily you judge your king. But then why wouldn’t you? Why wouldn’t it come easily to you? You, who never failed when it counted?”

    “Well, you got me there.” Steffon stood as well.

    Aerys seemed taken aback by his easy answer.

    “What?” The Storm Lord felt a tad peeved himself now. “Self-deprecation isn’t a virtue and self-awareness isn’t a sin.”

    “Why are you here, Steffon?”

    “Because you’re my friend and I love you.”

    The twisted noise that scratched its way from the king’s throat was no laughter at all.

    Not for the first time, Steffon Baratheon wondered at the backwards thinking of most of mankind. If you know you’re good, morally consistent and at least moderately intelligent, didn’t it naturally follow that you’re probably better suited to speak sense than most everyone else? Who the hell decided that the right answer couldn’t also be the easy one?

    “What do you know of love?” Aerys rasped, biting at his fist. “What can you know of love? You, who never had to work for it. You, who finds it so easy to love everyone before you even meet.” Aerys covered his eyes with a hand. “You, who are so terribly easy to love.”

    “Ah!” Steffon realized. “You’re jealous of me!”

    The words rung lugubriously in the ensuing stillness of the air.

    “… Am I?”

    “I guess so,” Steffon shrugged, ambling closer. “I forgive you.”

    Aerys’ breath hitched.

    “I forgive you for disregarding my feelings too. Leaving me to wait and worry for so long, honestly!”

    “AND WHO ARE YOU TO FORGIVE ME!?” Aerys suddenly roared, turning and lashing out only to hit his hand on Steffon’s shoulder. The king grunted in pain and stumbled away but for Steffon’s firm hands catching him, but the gates to whatever inner hell this was were already open wide. “Who are you to forgive me? Do you even know what you’re saying? You think what I want is forgiveness!? You speak to me like I’m the one with sin!? How dare you!? What of the wrongs done upon me!? My father is dead! My daughter, dead! My sons, dead! Murdered, every one of them! Murdered for no reason than envy! And you have the gall to come here, professing forgiveness for some imagined slights of mine! Think yourself exempt from punishment!? My own Grand Maester poisoned my children and I burned him! That bitch that last presumed to share my bed, I had her tortured! Tortured and killed like she deserved, her and all her wretched blood! I burned them! I burned them all! Don’t you dare claim to be beyond reproach! You think you’re the first so deluded? You think Tywin didn’t claim the same? He came professing loyalty when he was already off trying his best to take advantage of all these crimes against me! I’ll-“

    “Do you really fuck your kingsguard?”

    The noise trying to squirm its way out of the king was like a hare being eaten alive.

    “Because there’s this rumor that I just made up, see, that the real reason you keep them around is ‘cuz you like them bent over with their round, muscular arses up in the air so you can have your way with their strong, firm buttocks in all their hairy glory when your member goes and-“

    King Aerys Targaryen burst into the harshest, loudest, most hysterical laughter to ever come out of the throat of a king. Then he lost all strength and collapsed where he stood, falling to his knees in Steffon’s arms who let himself fall too, gathering the king close as the laughter gave way to fat, ugly sobs that rose and fell and burst like pus from a wound, spilling out into the dark like poison without end.

    The last candle burned low, then lower and then didn’t burn anymore at all.

    The poison flowed and flowed for long after, spilling out into the world until the only madness left was of grief, tattered and hollow.

    “-. .-“​

    Noon passed in darkness.

    But when it was done, Steffon Baratheon led the king out of the dark into the day, where finally Aerys Targaryen, second of his name, laid down to truly rest for the first time since the white raven came, falling asleep with the light of the sun shining down upon him.

    Steffon emerged from the royal apartments with a relieved heart, a sheet of paper in his hand, his head stuffed full with royal confessions sad and terrible, and a storm in his soul made of wind and fury. He looked at the two whitecloaks watching him with almost wholly hidden amazement and held out the paper for them to read.

    It is by my order and for the good of the Realm that the bearer of this has done what he has done. – Aerys, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms.

    He inquired as to their schedules and rotations, then worked with them to assign men from his retinue in place of the Goldcloaks normally watching the royal quarters. It was an unfair slight to the watchmen, but Aerys had seemed to draw strength from the offer no matter how off-handed.

    “If this is supposed to be a test,” Steffon had said when Aerys gave him the Great Warrant. “I won’t treat it as one. I’ll do whatever I think is right, not waste my time trying to guess what you want me to do.”

    Returning to the Tower of the Hand, he caught Tywin just as he was leaving his solar to retire. Steffon contained himself for only as long as it took to get some privacy before he gave him the what for he clearly needed. “Listen to me, Tywin, and listen well! From this point on you get no more excuses! The king listened to me and heeded me, so you will listen and heed me as well.” Steffon took a long, deep breath through his nose but did not relent his grip on Tywin’s shoulders. He leaned forward, looming over the scowling man with all his bulk behind him. “If you need to talk, talk to me. If you need a shoulder to cry on, cry on me. And if you can’t find it in you to suffer the presence of Joanna’s children, any of Joanna’s children for any reason, foster them with me. Do you understand?”

    Tywin actually glared at him for that, but didn’t reply. Whether because he was too outraged at his presumption, or shocked that Aerys had actually come out and admitted that ‘Tywin looks at me like I fucked his wife and sired his children’ (never mind all the timing issues involved), Steffon didn’t have the patience to care.

    “Incidentally, Aerys was always going to reimburse you for that Citadel business.”

    Steffon let go, turned around and left.

    “I’m not mad, Steffon, but that’s no mercy! You speak of sense? Sense tells me I can’t even be sure my kin and children fell to poison instead of the gods’ cruelty. Sense would have me feel guilt over my grief! What should I believe, Steffon? Do you have any idea what madness Pycelle spouted in his ravings? There was no difference between his lies and his truths by the end!

    His next stop was the dungeons.

    “Do you know who he tried to bring down with him? Do you know how long this conspiracy has to have existed? Father, grandfather, Summerhall, the dragons, the Dance Itself! You think I’m the only one now wondering what really happened to them? And now this news of the Faith! There’s your madness! If I were mad, I’d burn Oldtown to the ground, Tywin’s head would be on a spike outside my window and this place would already be ash.” Aerys had barely been able to raise his voice by the end, when Steffon tucked him into bed. “I’m not mad, Steffon.” His voice had been so weak. So frail. “I’m not mad. Not yet.”

    The Black Cells were precisely as black as the name implied. But the special prisoners were being fed well, Leyton Hightower had only been there for a few hours, and Gerold Hightower had long since accustomed himself to his new environment and was doing handstand push-ups when Steffon let them out. Leyton gladly accepted relocation to Maegor’s holdfast, if still afflicted with that odd bemusement that only the condemned mustered when they were resigned to whatever came next. Gerold Hightower didn’t accept reinstatement though, not from anyone less than the king. He refused to go back to the White Sword Tower and only complied with ‘sentry’ duty for his nephew when Steffon told him flat out he’d have him escorted out of the dungeon at sword point if he didn’t show sense. A good man, that Ser Gerold, stout and true!

    Way too uptight though.

    Not as self-possessed as he liked to act either, once the light hit his eyes again.

    The Storm Lord dithered somewhat when that was done, torn between several directions. In the end, the decision was taken out of his hands when the Master of Laws Symond Staunton descended upon him with many anxious questions. That particular meeting ended with an acknowledgment of his changes to the guard roster, and Cressen’s all but assured instatement as Grand Maester at the next meeting of the Small Council. Which would be early the next day. To which he was invited.

    The sun had set almost entirely by the time he was alone again. Deciding that Tywin had had his fill of him for one day, and that it was too late in the evening to take care of a certain last bit of business, he went to tell Cressen the ‘grand’ news, had a late dinner and bedded down for the night.

    Alas, the new dawn came not with a Small Council meeting! It brought instead a sudden call by the King for Court to congregate post-haste!

    It was quick business. One brief announcement by the king, then the court dispersed again in a furor of gossip that left Steffon in sore need of personal time with friends and family that weren’t Ser Arsehole. Unfortunately, both his friends were the most obstinate shites imaginable and his only family nearby was his cousin the King.

    The King who’d just made him Hand of the King.

    “Well.” Steffon said. “Shit.”

    “Yes,” Tywin said. “Quite.”

    Oh well! Such was life!

    “How would you like to be Master of Coin?”

    Tywin scoffed derisively.

    Considering how little emotion the man mustered on his worst day, that more or less confirmed everything about the relationship between Aerys and him that Steffon had been deferring judgment on.

    “Well, I had to make the offer.”

    As he stood in the Hand’s Solar on the other side of the desk compared to the prior day, Steffon Baratheon watched Tywin Lannister gather his personal effects. He thought to the last words his father ever told him. Endure nothing, Ormund Baratheon had said as he lay dying. Endure nothing from anyone, save the Lord Hand and the King.

    Ormund Baratheon had been Hand of the King too, in his day. Steffon wondered what he endured from his King, fresh out of the tragedy at Summerhall. Possibly nothing near what Tywin had to have endured from theirs. What he no doubt thought Steffon was about to. Shows what he knows!

    “So.” Steffon sat down on Tywin’s obscenely comfortable gilded chair. “Do you have any advice now?”

    “Do your job, expect no honors save having your competence trusted so highly that the king won’t shy away from being every bit as rude to you in public as you are to everyone, and leave your wife at home.”

    “If I go without a good fuck for much longer, I’ll go nuttier than the both of you combined. Pull the other one.”

    And for the love of Gods, Aerys, you don’t insult a woman’s breasts! Especially when she’s the wife of your childhood friend. Especially not in public! And Steffon still hadn’t gotten to the bottom of whether Aerys had cuckolded Tywin or not, honestly, that man! And what role did Joanna play in all this? There’s not speaking ill of the dead and then there’s thinking the dead were perfect saints. Both were complete dog shit!

    Right! Moving on! “Well?”

    Tywin paused and pinched his nosebridge, then gave him a long, considering look, walked over to the desk, leaned over to dig through the bottom right drawer and pulled out two tubes made of elder wood, from which he took out great scrolls, fancy as all get with golden ink decorating the edges. The man put them both before him with a sharp gaze of consideration, then went back to his business.

    Steffon read them one after another. Then he read them both side by side. Then again. Then again. Then he bowed forward and rested his brow on his clasped hands.

    Tywin was speaking now, about intrigue and politics and knowing when to set, when to curb, and never bend. Teaching him. Advising him just like he’d requested. He even sounded like he meant what he was saying. Of the rule of law to crush the braying of mob and ambition. Of how there was never an end to the paltry feuds and lowly ambitions of upstarts that needed putting in their place.

    “This Citadel Town Charter is the greatest snarl I’ve seen since the so-called reforms of King Aegon,” said the proud lion. “But it’s only the first of many snarls you’ll be expected to unknot. By now you will have noticed the different wording. There’s a reason I’ve yet to deposit either scroll in the Archives. The wording may be blatant to coin-counters, but to an up-jumped trader like Darklyn?”

    Steffon Baratheon listened grimly as Tywin Lannister explained his great trap.

    If Darklyn somehow managed to get through Tywin’s iron grip on the Red Keep, the wording was by design ambiguous enough that he could dismiss it as a small misunderstanding if brought up to the King. After all, they all worked together on the document, the Hand, the Master of Laws and Lord Denys Darklyn himself, with final reading and sealing by himself the King. It would be madness to think the Hand would ever sabotage the effort in the eleventh hour. But the Hand gets the 'honor' of doing the drudge work, so who’s to say what could have happened during the final write-up? Mistakes could easily slip by the scribe’s hand while putting down the final charter on the fancy scroll. Who would dare accuse the Hand of sabotaging the Crown itself? More like it was a moment of inattention, a brief spell of exhaustion, the scribe failed to control his penchant for flowery courtly language and he, Tywin Lannister, will certainly hasten to write up an amended paper at once!

    What grand a scheme. A spark of brilliance. A masterstroke, isn’t it just so?

    “You never meant for him to stay quiet about it. You meant it as a warning.”

    “Quite so.”

    “This could beggar them.”

    “Don’t be a fool, Steffon. Even without leave to install whatever system of governance he can dream up, which can render moot this whole issue in a hundred different ways, that was never the point.”

    The point was to make him grovel and beg. “And if he doesn’t bring it up, it gives you, or whoever next becomes Hand or King, grounds to go after their entire House in the future regardless of how Darklyn interprets it.”

    “If he is enough of a fool to do that, he deserves every consequence.”

    Or maybe he just believes in Tywin Lannister’s reputation, down to the most dark and gruesome parts he bought for himself in the blood of drowned children.

    “I admit I didn't expect the man to catch the issue from a single skim in the throne room,” Tywin admitted. “But he is no threat. One minor lord will make no difference to the number of lesser houses that will disdain you for your high office as a matter of course, so you needn’t worry there is any greater risk of poison in your wine beyond what the position of Hand brings along. As for armed recourse, that you can safely discount. What are you doing?”

    I’m thinking I shouldn’t feel so inconvenienced for wanting to enjoy the King’s Peace.

    Steffon finished writing his raven message – it always surprised people to learn his big hands could write such small letters instead of relying on a maester for it – then he put the pen away, rose and headed for the door. More precisely, the men standing guard right outside. “Harbert. Take this.” He gave Ser Arsehole the charter. The real one. Because for all his cuntish ways, he was loyal and brave. “To be delivered directly into the hands of Lord Denys Darklyn at the Dun Fort in Duskendale. You leave at noon. Now get me the Grand Maester.”

    Steffon closed the door. There was a storm gathering at his breast, large and clamorous.

    “… I should have known.”

    Steffon went to the nearby sconce and held the fake charter over the candlelight.

    “I should have known,” Tywin ground from behind as the gilded scroll caught fire. “As always when faced with a knot of any kind, your first and only instinct is to cut it and damn the consequences.”

    And what of the consequences of tying the knot to begin with? “Are you sure you want to discuss knots with me, Tywin?” The storm frothed wildly. “I’m more of a sailor than you are.”

    “Hardly.”

    The storm tossed and foamed in the depths of his lungs, but now he knew what this other friend of his needed. “Then maybe you’ll indulge in a story. Why, I just remembered one! There’s this friend of mine, see. He’s a hard man. Been a hard man doing the hard decisions for a long time now. It’s given him quite the fearsome reputation at home! Unfortunately, he’s still just a man, this good friend of mine. Alas! He’s been digging his own family's hole diplomacy-wise, what with nobody daring to talk about him. Makes it awkward when wholesale slaughter’s his only go-to when touting his own horn, if you follow me. Terrible business! Between that and all the nepotism in the capital and whatnot, methinks he’s locked himself into this pattern where all this being the hard man making the hard decisions makes him miss it when the hard decision isn’t the right one. Robs you of other options, that, especially in the long run. The real irony, though? He was this close to having all the snags in his foreign affairs done and solved. I mean sure, the Dornish are oathbreaking, guest-right-defiling cunts probably involved in the slave trade, but they were this close.”

    “I am not laughing, Steffon.”

    The storm whined. “Of course you’re not. If it were up to you, I’d never laugh again either and then you’d have no joy in your life at all.”

    He wasn’t joking, and by how quiet it got behind him, Tywin damn well knew it. But then, Steffon wasn’t joking before either.

    “…Get to the point or we’re done.”

    “Your wife just died.” Steffon deliberately looked everywhere but Tywin because he knew the man wouldn’t allow himself to feel anything if there was someone watching. “But instead of doing the human thing and grieving, you pushed all your spite over her death onto your baby boy, and then your hate at your baby onto a different party entirely. The same way you pushed your hatred of your father onto the Reynes and Tarbecks, except this time it was people who had nothing to do with it. You shat all over the efforts and legacy of the beloved wife who'd arranged the windfall in the first place. Says a lot that you acted the exact same way in both cases, doesn't it? Except while Tytos Lannister was someone you looked down on and hated, Joanna was the one you most loved and respected.”

    “You dare.”

    “You are wracked with a perverted sentimentality. You’re as free with your contempt as your father was with his charity. Tytos Lannister spent his love and affection freely while you don’t give out any. You spend your spite and hate freely, while your father didn’t give out any. You’re the opposite sides of the same coin because you’re both insecure maids that overcompensate.”

    “Enough!”

    Steffon flicked the ash off his fingertips and turned around. “You are your father’s son.”

    Tywin Lannister snarled, literally snarled for the first time in Steffon Baratheon’s recollection. A gruesome darkness passed over his whole face in that moment. It could have been betrayal. It could have been hate.

    Steffon Baratheon watched Tywin Lannister all but throw the last of his effects into a bag, sidled just barely to the side of the door as if to get out of the way, waited until Tywin made to get past him, then he struck.

    The storm bubbled over and burst out into the world like a hot summer rain.

    “Steffon!” Tywin ground his teeth. Literally ground his teeth. “What. Are. You. Doing.”

    “I’m hugging my friend!” Steffon burst into tears all over the prickly arse who just couldn’t bear living if he didn’t make everyone and everything fall to pieces around him, the fucking arsehole! “You told me a lord isn’t a true lord unless he can be an arse when he needs to! But this isn’t you being an arse when you need to! This is you being an arse when you don’t need to! I can’t follow you down this slope! I won’t! But you don’t have to do it! Don’t go!”

    “Oh for Gods’ sakes-“

    “No!”

    “You-.”

    “NAY!”

    “Let me go.”

    “I SHAN’T!”

    “Let me go, Baratheon.”

    “You said my name! My other name! You’re upset! That’s good! You don’t let yourself go enough! So what if you’re not perfect? Everyone makes mistakes! Even if you don’t, you’re not the first person to make no mistakes and still lose! That’s not weakness! That’s life! Why the hell won’t you live it instead of-of-of this horseshit you dumb fuck!?”

    “You’ve gone mad.”

    “You’re the mad one, you skittering fuckweasel! Mad with grief, you and-”

    “-don’t-“

    “-Aerys too!” Steffon sobbed.

    “I swear by all the Gods, if you don’t-!”

    “You don’t believe in gods! Dramatic shitstains the both of you, a pox on shit parents everywhere, it’s like you’re both determined to treat common sense and all of its arcane offshoots like, oh, love and kindness as if they’re something unfathomable and impossible to understand, you MORONS!” Steffon was yelling and shaking Tywin by the shoulders by the end. “What the hell is so hard to understand about being friends!?”

    “Gods,” Tywin wheezed. “Why have you forsaken me?”

    “Because you told them to take a hike, you decrepit omelette!”

    “…Unhand me or I won’t be responsible for-“

    “NO!” Steffon bawled, wrapping himself around the man even tighter. “You’ll have to kill me! Stab me with that knife why don’t you! Do me a favour, why don’t you!? Go on, do it! I dare you! What about me huh!? What about my feelings, huh? You can’t expect me to just stop loving someone! Go ahead, do it! Do it already! Why won’t you do it? You won’t do it! I knew you wouldn’t do it, you don’t just stop loving someone once you’ve started you-you… you emaciated cave goblin!”

    “Of for Gods’ sakes…”

    Tywin Lannister sighed gustily and settled to wait for Steffon Baratheon to finish blubbering out his hugs, tears and snot all over the man’s hair.

    Once the steel pole up his arse finished giving way back to his normal one made of prickly rosewood, Steffon reluctantly disentangled himself from the smaller man, took out his handkerchief and blew his nose. Loudly.

    Then he checked the door to see if Cressen had arrived at any point, which he had. “Here,” he held out the crumpled paper. “For the Dun Fort. Might need to transcribe it first.”

    Cressen all but fled from the sight of them.

    Which was fair.

    Steffon blew his nose again, folded the handkerchief with the clean side out and gave Tywin a once over. The look on Tywin’s face as he rubbed him clean of all the tears and snot was like a dead-eyed zombie promising murder.

    Oh well. “I’ll ride with you.”

    The Lord of Casterly Rock stared at him like he was some foul beast from the Seven Hells. “… Fine.”

    Steffon beamed, hugged Tywin one last time, led him out past the suspiciously straight-faced guards, dragged him deep into Maegor’s Holdfast to have the former Hand take his proper leave of the king – they were both so civil! – and then rode with Tywin and his retinue out of Red Keep all the way to the docks.

    “I meant what I said before.” Steffon clasped arms with the other man at the foot of the gangplank. “Talk to me. Write to me. Send your-“

    “I know,” Tywin said harshly, though his heart wasn’t in it. “I know you meant it.”

    “You damn well better! I never say anything I don’t mean!”

    “It will be the death of you one day.”

    “And I’ll die laughing!”

    Tywin glared at him, as if it was somehow impossible that someone could both laugh and take things seriously at the same time. Then again, that was Tywin’s main probl- “… I’m leaving part of my men here.”

    Steffon blinked, astonished.

    “At least until you bring more of yours, though you’ll have to dismiss them yourself if you want them gone.”

    “You do love me!”

    “Goodbye, Steffon.”

    “I love you too, Tywin. Be well!”

    Steffon Baratheon stood on the berth and waved until the Sea Lion disappeared from view.

    Then he returned to the Red Keep and went to the Maidenvault.

    It had not escaped him that none of the King’s family were at court that day, or the day prior.

    The music didn’t escape him either.

    The night you return, we're having a feast
    The candles will burn, you've conquered the East
    Get home safe, as you can't be replaced,
    The honors you've earned, you fought like a beast,


    The harp strings and verses reached him before he got there. They were both graceful, beautiful and a right buggering to the soul. Didn’t use any oil to ease the kick either. Damn. Guess them sister wives don’t make for much better bedding than being a right royal arse did.

    So let's toast in your name, raise your glass to the moon,
    Shall we dine with the gods, here's a toast, here's a toast to you!

    Painting the map with the blood on your hand,
    Expanding the realm, and winning new lands,
    Get home safe, cause you can't be replaced,
    The night you return, we're having a feast.

    The night you return, we're having a feast
    The candles will burn the night you return…


    He waited with Darry outside the door until the last words faded, but wasted no time upon going in.

    “Your Grace!” Steffon bellowed, arms opened wide. “My Queen! Cousin! Your beautifulness! Give me a hug! And a kiss or two while you’re at it! You must!”

    Queen Rhaella Targaryen blinked rapidly at the sudden storm that overtook her confinement, but stood gracefully in an ethereal whorl of platinum hair and red satin. She welcomed him into her arms, kissing him daintily on both cheeks. Well, once he lifted her high enough anyway. She laughed almost gaily. Good. That pretty face was made for smiling.

    Then he turned to behold the fifteen year old harper who’d stopped strumming to watch them. The tall and beautiful Silver Prince with deep purple eyes and long elegant fingers. A memory emerged unbidden at the sight of him. Him and he sheer ridiculousness of the lofty burden of sublime tragedy Steffon could read far too easily in the boy’s face. Of the earliest words that Steffon could remember from his mother, Rhaelle Targaryen of House Baratheon.

    Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

    Such a shame he never obeyed her. He never said no to a good spot of wrestling.

    “Prince Rhaegar Targaryen,” Steffon ground out, walking to loom over the young man. “Your father tells me you’re a dandy with your nose in old books and head in the clouds. Seeing as he confessed in the same breath to being a right cunt, I’ll defer judgment.” The aghast look on that far too pretty mug was delightful. “All the same though, we’ll be living together from now on. Better brace yourself, my prince, because when it comes to my boys and their potential friends, I have very exacting standards.” Steffon smiled wolfishly. “Whether or not you end up calling me father by the time we’re done, you’ll damn well be treating me like one.”

    Fuck the Maesters and their snobbish horsecrap. Screw the Seven and their child-buggering death cult. The Others take every last shit parent in the world. He’d do right by these dimwits and teach them how to live even if no one else will, if only to spite them all!

     
    Last edited:
    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (Brandon)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    tGTx5w4.jpg


    BRANDON

    “-. 274 AC .-“​

    “The Pentoshi did what?”

    As he listened to his assistant’s report a second time, Brandon Stark wondered what in all the hells kind of bugworm had squirmed its way up the cheesemonger’s arse and whatever passed for a cunt on his perfumed cockless paramour. Even without his hard-won ability to read the patterns, the signs he could see in this sudden eruption of tensions ostensibly between Braavos and Pentos – the deliberate warning signs – were plain to see for anyone familiar with either of those swindlers. Which was increasingly many people these days, now that the pair were secure enough in their wealth, contacts and blackmail to openly peddle their ‘repossessed’ wares and otherwise cultivate their reputation as people of wealth and taste. Wealth especially. Still, even knowing how blatant the two had grown in casting their net throughout the Free Cities, this was beyond the pale. A sudden string of thefts, mutinies or pirate attacks on ships known to sail under any business openly affiliated with the Company. Inexplicable reticence or outright mistrust by their latest prospective trade partners. Rental depos and granaries burned, looted or littered with dead little mice. Swaths of their underworld contacts dead in canals or alleys, all ‘found’ with precious gems on them. Some so precious that even the most desperate street urchin knew better than to expect anything besides a knife to the kidney over.

    He grimly accepted and opened the bag of collected ‘recompense.’ Amethyst, tourmaline, emerald, green pearl, jade, jet, onyx, opal, ruby, sapphire and slit yellow tiger's eye, they were all there. Even a black diamond. It sat there on top of the rest, taunting him with its promise of ill will and unfinished business.

    “Thank you, Byam.” Brandon was glad for the age and experience that let him keep the ice inside him from cracking where others could see. All seventy-four years of it. “Take the rest of the day off. Go to your lady.”

    “She’s no lady, my dame,” the young man grinned. “She’s a goddess, she is.”

    “I appreciate the attempt at levity, my boy.” The young man ducked his head bashfully at his failure to lift his spirits. Seeing him act so contrite, one could almost forget he was a knight, sellsail and Captain-adventurer that regularly braved all the five seas. “Tell your goddess what you just told me and let her know I’ll be by later to talk.”

    Byam Flint, formerly of Widow’s Watch, nodded and left, ordering the gates locked and barred behind him.

    Brandon Stark waited for the knight to leave, then left his office for his private chambers on the second floor of the manse. Blue Petal Manor was a lofty edifice that his enterprising predecessors had bought piecemeal, and then built up into the closest thing to a bridge castle that could be found in Braavos. It was rooted in fully-appointed, walled houses on both banks of the Green Canal and had two stories. Its size served to give his private balcony a broad, sweeping view of the Secret City. One could see half-way to the lagoon to the west on a clear day, insofar as Braavos even had clear days. As far as the Palace of Truth as well, to the east, where voting took place. He had no interest in any of that today, however. He closed the doors to his balcony, pulled down all the blinds and went to lie back on his bed. He needed peace, quiet and time away from his aching joints. Time enough for the ice cap containing his black, roiling rage to firm back up, never mind everything else on his mind that he didn’t have it in him to worry about lest his heart give away right there. He was not a young man anymore, to roar and rage, let alone go out digging worms out of their pits and splitting guts open from dust to dawn and dusk again on the battlefield. He had duties. Responsibilities. New orders from his King that had only just reached him a scant month prior. Orders that had sent him sending orders of his own as well, practically emptying Blue Petal Manor of the many farmers, traders, sailors, sellswords and everyone else who could be spared to help realign their various interests. He’d been so shocked at the time. So thrilled. So hopeful. He’d felt so alive after so very long not stepping foot on the earth of his homeland. Now he wondered if the orders had come too late, or if his own actions since then were what caused… whatever this was.

    For a moment, he let himself succumb to the weight of the thankless task he’d borne for so many decades. Then he took a deep breath and collected himself.

    He was Brandon of House Stark, son of Artos the Implacable, nephew of Rodrik the Wandering Wolf, Prince in Exile of the Kingdom of Winter. And he would see this handled. He would see this handled. He would see this handled carefully. Calmly. So calmly that he’d not keel over from a sudden fit of apoplexy the next time someone came charging in, screaming that his last remaining goodson or nephews or grandson or all of them had decided to follow his brother and daughters and sons into d-

    “Uncle?” Came the strong voice of Osrick on the heels of the front doors smashing open. “Uncle! Are you home? Byam said you were!”

    For the umpteenth time, Brandon Stark thanked his ancestors for the thick stone blocks and high walls. He was not as thankful for the promptness of the servants that oh so efficiently directed his nephew to find him.

    “Uncle, Byam said you were-ah, there you are! I bring news!” He’s not dead, he’s not dead, he’s not dead- “That news being, of course, that your grandson continues to be a complete moron.”

    “He’s still not dead then?”

    “Apparently not. Though not for lack of trying. Do we have any secret magic stores that could turn back time to before my girl popped out her little Dabron? Because I’m seriously reconsidering this whole grandchildren business!”

    “Where is he? Which courtesan’s honor was he protecting this time? And how ready is he for my latest, all too futile lecture on the merits of not being a brash imbecile ready to cross blades with every bravo this side of Lys?”

    “Madam Rosmerta of the Three Broomsticks, Lady Flint is tending to him now, and not hardly.”

    “Wonderful.” He wasn’t dead. Not dead. Not dead like the others, thank whatever god had seen to it, even if they never seemed to be doing anything else!

    “I heard you were headed to the Flints anyway?”

    “Where and how did you hear?”

    “Never fear, uncle, you needn’t ‘reconsider Byam’s usefulness’ or any such rot, we were both behind his wife’s closed doors.”

    Times like this made him want to share the true mission with more people. But then he reminded himself that the secrecy of home and kin was the only thing that had consistently served them well, all of them, as opposed to the morass of treachery, hardship and worthless ‘compromise’ that came with every other risk they’d ever taken. It meant they had to establish their own, internal channels of management and leadership once their families and enterprises expanded enough beyond a mere sellsword company. But it also protected them from the attentions of the fleeting powers of this land, and the factionalism so prevalent in the Free Cities and elsewhere. Especially when combined with constant flow of new blood from home in the form of third sons and daughters and other scions noble and small alike, come down from the North to seek their fortune. There were other reasons why they’d never openly declared their goals and nature as well, reasons that the Blackfyres had proven justified repeatedly. Ultimately, Essos was rich in many kinds of coin, but honor wasn’t among them.

    Neither was good sense, he despaired internally when he walked in on his grandson later. In fact, Essos was so lacking in sense that it had become its own leech! “You stupid boy! Look at you! Split open from hip to neck! I told you this would happen one day! What do you have to say for yourself?”

    “Next time he’ll be drinking from the Moon Pool, mark my words.”

    Brandon Stark felt a sharp throb in his neck. “There won’t be a next time, you stupid boy!”

    Rodrik Stark looked up from his bandages, aghast. “Grandfather! You can’t lose your wits now! Don’t you realise what such a snub would do to the cause?” On second thought, maybe he’d shared the true mission with too many people. “You’re telling me to turn down a challenge by the First Sword of Braavos!”

    “Oh, that was not the First Sword of Braavos!”

    “He damn well will be.”

    “I’m sure,” sneered Brandon Stark at what had to be the dumbest spawn’s spawn that House Stark had ever been cursed with since the cravenly brood of Torrhen the Kneeler, on both sides of the sea! “Just like the one before. And the one before him. And the ten before that!”

    “Ah, but they didn’t beat me!”

    Brandon smacked him. And when the impudent rascal only grinned wider, he threw his hands in the air and left him in Osrick’s hands while he went to speak with Dame Flint for his own peace of mind. He never imagined he would be discussing the greatest threat to the Cause while considering it a boon to his peace of mind, but there it was.

    The Dame Bessara Flint nee Reyaan took one look at him and immediately started fussing over him, seating him in her husband’s chair at the head of the table, bringing a basin of hot water to soak his aching feet, and insisting he have a warm meal when he admitted to not having broken his fast even once that day. Brandon ruefully accepted her care and gratefully partook of the shrimp and persimonn soup. He gladly accepted the sardines also, fried crisp in pepper oil and served so hot they burned his fingers. He mopped up the leftover oil with a chunk of bread torn off the end of Bessara’s evening loaf of olive bread and washed it all down with a cup of watered wine, savoring the tastes and the smells, the rough feel of the crust beneath his fingers, the slickness of the oil as he pinched it out of his beard, the sting of the hot pepper when it got into his cracked wisdom teeth. Hear, smell, taste, feel, pain he reminded himself. There were many ways to know you still lived, even for those like him who had outlived so very many he shouldn’t have.

    When pleasure was done, they got down to business. For all his skill in patterns, it didn’t compare to skill and talent, and Lady Bessara had him beat in both. Though a third daughter of a fourth son, she was a testament to the worth of the bloodline and education of Keyholder families. She was also the one with consistent access to news from all their enterprises, having coordinated multiple different businesses and ships since even before she effectively took over as chief overseer of trading interests from Alyssa Karstark, Brandon’s own daughter four years dead. Aside from Bessara’s own husband Byam, who brought the news to begin with (or often became the news on his voyages, which sadly cut him off from current events for weeks and even months at a time), the Dame herself was the one likely to provide the best perspective on things.

    Bessara sat next to him and worked with him to lay out the maps of the Narrow Sea, Braavos, Pentos and the Disputed Lands on the round table. Not for the first time, Brandon Stark wished someone came up with a better map instead of these hand-drawn sketches. “I’ve heard back well enough from the folk back west,” she told him. “We’re still waiting on Karhold, but Widow’s Watch and Ramsgate have already responded. They’re not enthused to be passed over for the bigger fish, but they understand public spectacle as well as the next man. Envoys have been sent to White Harbor. Lord Weyrman Manderly will hopefully read the signs and not obstruct our efforts to secure the needed storage space and berthing.”

    Hopefully, she says. Well, since the scope of the Rose had deliberately been kept from most people on both sides of the sea outside the heads and heirs of the great houses, that couldn’t be helped. Torrhen’s unfaithful children be damned, but they sure had taught them all a lesson in keeping secrets. He supposed it was time to see if the lesson had been a good one or just another kind of failure from overreacting in the other direction.

    Unfortunately, much like he’d feared, the best perspective was also the grimmest. Replies had yet to come from half their holdings in Andalos (hah!), and none yet from further south. They didn’t know if the new orders had reached the Company of the Rose before they deployed under their latest contract either. Which was of particular worry because said contract was against roving Dothraki in the Flatlands near Pentos, not the Disputed Lands further south. Brandon could see why his goodson and nephew had signed on it. It was not only sponsored by three Keyholders of Braavos, but also deployed them ahead of the Rose’s own (not openly affiliated) holdings near the Braavos-Pentoshi border. Braavos had secured its demesne close to home, but its need for sellsword contracts hadn’t actually dropped since the Braavos-Pentos war. If Braavos had only forced Pentos to abolish slavery and withdraw from the slave trade after their victory in in 209 AC, things either would have been different or another war would have occurred after the recovery period. But Braavos had also limited the Pentoshi military forces and prevented the city from hiring sellswords. Unfortunately, this crippled Pentos’ ability to secure its territory and act as an effective buffer state. Which made it an open sieve for any Dothraki Khal who got the idea to detour through their lands and raid Braavos from the south, instead of roving across both Norvos and Braavos’ own border to the South-Southeast. This meant that any armed incursion into Pentoshi lands were unofficially Braavos’ problem too. A problem made worse every time they deployed their latest sellsword hires. The Pentoshi magisters always started braying about Braavos aiming to finally attempt the full armed occupation they surely must have been planning all this time.

    It was an open secret that Pentos used its connections in other Free Cities as proxies to hire sellswords on their behalf. But the lack of mutual loyalty between any of the Free Cities made this a risky gamble, and not owning the contract of professional soldiers whose loyalty was already in doubt was never going to be a good idea.

    And now it all seemed to have become the Rose’s problem too, Brandon thought testily. Perhaps Pentos was airing its grievance with Braavos. Perhaps the semi-cockless duo had inflamed tensions or otherwise taken advantage of things to strike at them somehow. For whatever reason Brandon couldn’t imagine. Perhaps it was all just bad luck. Or perhaps nothing out of the ordinary had happened and it was just freak weather or a fallen horseshoe that had stalled the word back. For everyone. At the same time. Yes.

    As the day wore down, it became clear that unknown elements were moving against even the holdings they had painstakingly rented, leased and even bought outright in some cases all the way up north, at great expense and deniability through some of their naturalised kinsmen. Even those in the Braavosi Marshes and the coast facing Lorath along the Shivering Sea. They were widely considered the most dubious long-term investments Braavos had ever seen, but were in reality their most precious agricultural projects. Sugar beets from Lhazar, black pepper from Sothoryos, red and green hot peppers from the Orange Shore, bell peppers from the Summer Islands, even sugarcane from Mantarys. Crops they had painstakingly cultivated and bred for years, even decades, in and out of glass gardens, in the hopes they would eventually turn out strains capable of surviving and even thriving in the North. A day that the farmers swore waited only for his word based on the turnout of last autumn’s final harvests. And yet, now, probing raids ostensibly by Norvosi pirates and ‘Skagosi’ seemed to have started all over the coast as well. How convenient that Braavos was caught looking southward and there were no direct interests by native Braavosi worthies in those small, out of the way regions.

    And then there was the rice. The rice they had laboured to breed some semblance of winter endurance into for literal hundreds of years. The rice they had been partnered on with one of the dynastic YiTish merchant guilds since the very beginning. They would give half of all new harvests and new strains in exchange for funding half the enterprise, training in their cultivation, coordinating records of their parallel progress, and replenishing seed supplies from their share of the crops at cost in case of disaster. Which had proven a boon on several occasions when frostbite or plague swept their paddies wholesale. The YiTish had dreams of expanding northward into the lands of the Jogos Nhai, and this would give them a ready strain of their most fundamental crop to sustain any new adminsitration zones. Or that was the reason they agreed to share the techniques of YiTish rice farming in the beginning. Who knew why they still kept their part of the deal after everyone originally involved was dead and gone?

    Unfortunately, there was a double catch to the enterprise. One, the duty to defend the crops fell entirely on them. That was already one clause in jeopardy, if the scoundrels currently moving against them within the city decided to expand into the swamps on the mainland. And two, the enterprise was too big to downplay and had to be run through the Iron Bank from the very beginning. Which meant collateral.

    Significant collateral.

    Never mind all the threshing, husking and polishing!

    Brandon Stark looked upon the increasingly dotted map with dismay. At this rate, the only enterprise that wasn’t suddenly in some danger were those earth apples that some scoundrels swore had come from Sothoryos. Alas, Brandon wasn’t far enough gone to buy into stories of randomly-occurring wonder crops, no matter how well the first harvests had gone. He’d spare his hopes for the soybeans instead. And even then only because the fields were on lease from House Reyaan and the masters of these oh so mysterious ‘raiders’ would be mad to tangle with the Iron Bank over a farm of all things, even just by proxy through one of the Keyholder Houses.

    He was well and truly ready to collapse by the time the lamp oil ran low. He gratefully accepted Dame Bessara’s invitation to stay the night and collapsed on the bed in their guestroom, his grandson next to him and his nephew on the floor between them and the door, sitting against the bedside with sheathed sword in hand.

    As he faded, he thought of his lost son. He’d long ago decided he had most likely disappeared because someone had found out and taken exception to him flitting up and down the Arsenal of Braavos through that seagull of his. Never mind he’d never gotten around to putting anything on paper. Sometimes, though, he wondered if it might have been something more sinister that took him. Him and… and the others.

    Mercifully, nothing disturbed him that night.

    Then they took a serpent boat back to Blue Petal Manor only to find it locked down tighter than a chastity belt with smoke coming out of his bedroom.

    His guards turned out to be as overzealous in denying entry as they were ashamed over the lack of alertness during the night. Which was Brandon’s own fault for stretching their numbers so thin that even his own sentries had to pull double shifts. Little wonder someone sufficiently determined would sneak in. Except that wasn’t what happened. Best as anyone could figure, this wasn’t an assassination attempt or whatever else. It was some no-name out to try and steal the cheesemonger’s weregild.

    I was to die in a mugging, Brandon Stark thought in abject disbelief. Not some Faceless or Sorrowful Man or some sworn foe. Just some robber.

    He felt stunned. Then numb. Then he just felt furious.

    “Osrick. Byam. Gather everyone. Go. Now.”

    They went.

    And when all the trusted gathered in the deepest recesses of Blue Petal Manor, the Prince of Winter in Exile stood before his people. Knights, sailors, bravos, merchants, sellswords, farmers, artists, pit fighters, whores and killers. He stood before them and laid things bare and gave his order.

    “We are at war. Be they the most devious of enemies or the deepest depths of stupidity, we are at war. We are at war and it vexes me. Collect our kin. Call in our favors. Purge the spies. Send out the assassins. By the time the Grey Ships come to bear us hence, I want this finished.”

    Grim nods and swift action was his answer.

    “Osrick. You and Rodrik stay.”

    “Yes, uncle.”

    “Yes, grandfather.”

    When next day dawned on the Bastard Daughter, the streets and canals flowed with red blood of decided more mixed ancestry than ever.

    For a whole month he locked down Blue Petal Manor to all those not explicitly summoned and devoted himself to the task of nursing his grandson back to health. He was no maester, but he had skill enough for this, as did his servants with how many times his fool blood had gotten into a scrape. Or worse. All the while, the picture gained contours, shades and clarity with every new bit of news and person that answered his call and messages.

    My sudden change in routine must have spooked them. He still had no idea what had set the cheesemonger and his bald arse boy against them. Failing all the shady elements from Myr to Lorath suddenly deciding to go after them and their disparate interests by pure coincidence, this reeked of a long-term plan turned arseways. If it were him, he’d have waited until spring when they usually re-invested most of the seeds back into the fields. Between that and the sudden elimination of everyone informed of the Rose’s true scope and purpose, the Kingdom in Exile could have been decapitated with none the wiser. Would have left their centuries of work up for easy takeover too. Who knew how long it would take for new leadership to emerge and gather the branches back together? How many branches would even be left at that point?

    Instead, what was happening was the winter equivalent of going on a raiding spree to light up the fields wholesale. Wasteful, but worth it if you’ve already invested so many resources in the preparations. For whatever reason.

    Essosi lunatics!

    And this was just Pentos. The less said about Norvos, Tyrosh, Qohor and Volantis, the better.

    Brandon wondered, briefly, if he was perhaps running the leakiest information net in the world, before dismissing the notion. He didn’t run such a loose house that he’d have missed all the signs of poor spycraft. More likely the half-cocked duo – or their clients or patrons, if any – had uncovered whatever they uncovered about the Kingdom in Exile before his time. Why they’d have sat on the information so long was beyond him, but it was the only thing that made sense.

    When he next emerged from Blue Petal Manor, he used the rarely used undercroft access to bypass the Iron Bank and Sealord’s men that had been all but camped on his doorstep for days. Then he walked into the Iron Bank itself blithe as you please, because certain statements had to be made. After all, didn’t the Keyholders and their many clients know better than to openly show ingratitude to being warned of major threats to their livelihoods? But of course they did! Like, say, the fact that Pentos had gone from appeasing the barbarian horsemen to allying with them, going so far as to strike deals with marauding Khals to problem-solve certain ‘Braavosi mercenaries.’ Could he and his be blamed for retaliating against the Pentoshi scum that tried to help them with blades drawn in the dark? Of course not! Why, he wasn’t even obliged to consult with them, but it paid to be courteous. It paid to be courteous, isn’t that part and parcel of the Iron Bank’s reputation?

    It was, they agreed, all the way up to the account manager overseeing their rice venture and the representative from Yi-Ti that she’d taken the liberty of summoning in his absence. Brandon, of course, graciously assured the ambitious woman that he was willing to forgive this breach of protocol. After all, it couldn’t be that the Iron Bank meant to take advantage of the chaos to renegotiate standing contracts with only half of the parties present. “Besides, surely you couldn’t have known this could leave our YiTish partner here in the lurch,” he told the ambitious woman and her frozen smile while representative Cheng fumed in the chair next to him. “Not when our rice breeding project has finally borne fruit! Surely not for the sake of some paltry collateral from days gone by!”

    The visit to the Sealord’s Palace didn’t quite come at sword point, but ended more or less the way he expected. Brandon was banished along with all those similarly involved in the recent ‘unrest’ after being denied every last, ‘desperate’ appeal. He was to leave within a moonturn and never return on pain of death. That the Sealord’s office still had no idea of the Rose’s true scope even though the Iron Bank did (and surely the Faceless Men as well) said a lot about the power of the current title holder to enforce his banishment. Such a shame that didn’t cover the nine tenths of his people he was in charge of. Such a shame he was taking at least six tenths of those people and leaving anyway with all their wealth. Such a shame that would upend Braavos’ economy for the next year or ten once they started to really liquidate their assets. He wondered how many outstanding contracts and debts the Iron Bank would pounce on in the ensuing chaos. On that note, he went and sold the deed to Blue Petal Manor to a certain naturalised ‘friend’ of the family with no outstanding debts, all for the positively ruinous price of one iron mark.

    And if it so happened that he failed to mention the impending, sudden removal of thirty-some vessels from the sea trade? True, doing such a thing without letting anyone know in advance could really spook people, but what could he do? Age makes people forget the oddest things.

    Vindication, when it came, was saccharine sweet and thrice as bitter. It turned out that his change in routine probably hadn’t been the reason for the sudden escalation. That could probably be laid at the feet of his wonderful nephew the King, who’d gone and done a visit down south that quite thoroughly broke the kingdom of those Andal lunatics, and their disgusting seven-fold pretense at godliness that had no problem making exemptions from their holy word for sister-fucking abominations.

    Imagine a people so disgusting, they need to make laws to make it illegal to hate them.

    But now…

    Bloodied maesters scattered to the five winds, humbled Andals, child-buggering shitstain septons being killed in the streets by their own useless sheep. Each piece of news threatened to split his face.

    Or would have, if not for the news on their own side of the Narrow Sea. Khals marauding all over their southernmost holdings, pillaging two thirds of their summer crops. A last ditch attempt by the ‘Skagosi’ that set a scattering of their seed granaries on fire. The Windblown fighting the Company of the Cat – again – in an area that just so happened to spill over into their stores of earth apples. Fortunately, his orders seemed to have been acted on quick enough that they’d managed to spirit away sufficient supply of all their crops to start over elsewhere.

    And then there was the Company of the Rose. Their very own sellsword company, with twenty-five hundred foot and one thousand horse, altogether thirty-five hundred strong. He hoped his orders reached them before any disaster struck. And that the people on the ground interpreted his orders as ‘save what you can if you’re in the area’. Even if he technically hadn’t originally intended for the crops to be moved before winter’s end. He supposed they’d find out their ability to thrive in the North by how many of them succumbed to humidity and frostbite on the way to the mainland.

    His mercurial mood lifted only when he saw the triumphant sight of their armada when passing under the Titan’s shadow.

    He didn’t expect the Wolf Pack. Which, it turned out, was a common thing. The Dothraki never seemed to expect them either, or any infantry that didn’t break at the first bellowing charge of those half-naked barbarians that never saw a lance. Which, it turned out, had been the biggest blessing of them all, even if it didn’t really carry the day in the end.

    Brandon Stark welcomed the disembarking Wolf Pack as heroes, but on the inside he felt as if he could drop dead and damn whatever else.

    The Company of the Rose. It had been caught in a double ambush by the Bright Banners and Second Sons, who’d lured them in by ‘supplying’ themselves from the Rose’s variously owned stores across Andalos. Even now that accursed place taunted the men of the North. His orders had reached them just in time to turn them back in the nick of time. But though able to retreat in good order, losing just a handful of men, it wasn’t without wandering into a surprise raid by some now dead Khal. The chaotic, orderless, four-way disaster that followed cost them twice again those numbers and eliminated almost all of the Company’s senior leadership, and might have seen tem defeated in detail if not for the unexpected rear guard action by the Wolf Pack themselves. Tarl Ryswell. Wallace and Waller Dustin. Alan Liddle. Norton Norrey. Jon, Rod and Brandon Wull, named after him.

    He was Brandon Stark, son of Artos Stark and Lysara Karstark. Father of three sons, two of whom had long since died as sellswords in the disputed lands, the third having failed to disembark after a voyage to Lys that same summer. Twin of Benjen, who’d gone looking for his vanished boy and vanished as well, his half dozen compatriots lost or found addled or not at all. And now, the list grew still. His nephew Odrick, Osrick’s twin brother. His goodson Karl Karstark, may he find again the embrace of his wife, Brandon’s own daughter. Dolman Glover, whom he’d been in talks with for a betrothal for his grandson. Gone, now, all of them like the rest. Along with everyone else in the company who knew their real purpose.

    He looked inside and he felt dead.

    And then he felt livid.

    To whatever hell existed with the entirety of Essos and all the vermin crawling around this dead carcass of a bygone age! At this rate those two blackguards were going to cripple the cause by sheer accident!

    The rage exhausted itself like most of himself did these days.

    Brandon Stark beheld the leader of the Wolf Pack sellsword company. Malyn Hornwood. Descended from Hallis Hornwood, the man who’d originally established the Wolf Pack in the aftermath of the Dance of the Dragons alongside Timothy Snow. The man was of middling height, stout strength and positively ludicrous endurance on account of the way he trained his men, as he was all too boisterously regaling him without being asked.

    “It never does to be too free with your approval!” The man laughingly boasted once his men had disembarked. Surprisingly quickly too. Efficiently. The full thousand of them, men of Northern blood one and all. “No man is a true member of the Pack if he can’t handle two battles, three full days and nights of forced marches, crossing a stream once by wading and once by building a brigade, building and taking down a small fort and pitching and breaking camp no less than a dozen times, all while carrying and caring for their equipment and making sure no man is left behind.” The man smiled, slapping the chest of what was probably his second in command, man clad in lamellar armor armed with a shield and halberd. “Once your lot is back on its proper feet, might be I can get them worthy of being called proper soldiers. Provided we can still keep abreast of each other of course.” The man turned serious and leaned close. Close enough to whisper. Close enough to kill. “Tell the King we’d like to come home too.”

    Brandon Stark reared back and stared at him in open-mouthed astonishment.

    The man pulled back as well and gestured to the strange, one-wheeled contraption being repaired nearby. “You can keep the wheelbarrows. Should be some two hundred or thereabouts. Good YiTish engineering, did you know? A baggage train with these lovelies can almost match our pace. Probably leave you and yours in the dust though. Oh well, more motivation!”

    Malyn Hornwood winked and led his men away.

    “I don’t think I like that man,” Rodrik muttered.

    “’Course you don’t,” Osrick grunted. “He’s a man’s man. You’re a dandy with shit endurance.”

    “Fuck you, nuncle.”

    “Not for all the clap in the world.”

    Well.

    Well!

    Brandon Stark turned towards the gangplank.

    “Won’t my Lord Stark be needing a cabin boy on the way?” asked the biggest, fattest dockhand he’d ever seen. “The sea won’t be leading where you thought it might.”

    Brandon stopped and turned to inspect the speaker with a sudden feeling of trepidation, only for his heart to skip a beat as the man turned a silver coin over his fingers, cast in the shape of a green hand.

    “… Mayhaps I might.”

    Thirty-one grey ships sailed into the west. Four merchanters, six carracks, five cogs and fifteen galleys, led forth by the newly restyled Snowdrift, a double-decked dromond with three masts, two hundred oarsmen, and seventy men ready for war.

    “Wonders be afoot, my lord,” said his new guest, throwing off his hood to reveal blond hair so pale it ate the snowflakes falling on it. His beard was just bushy enough to hide his second chin. “Waiting for the next one is like being teased by an unpaid whore, but damned if they don’t make you look forward to more.” There was a small, round box in the man’s hand, made of bone. He played almost obsessively with the lid, clack-clack-clack showing glimpses of a two-ended needle. “But I can see sailing’s not your passion.”

    So much for hiding the sad state of his sea legs. “Sorry to disappoint.”

    “No matter.” The man’s other hand came from beneath his cloak, briefly revealing green stitching shaped like a lamprey’s maw. It held a booklet of some kind. “Perhaps a spot of good reading? I hear it’s all the rage up in Winterfell these days. This here in particular seems to have caught right quick with you Braavosi.”

    “’Them’ Braavosi, not ‘you.’” Brandon took it and traced its surface. It was made out of exquisitely high-quality paper covered in the neatest letters he’d ever seen, if somewhat faded. There was a drawing of a strange blob with hairs on the front. Above it were words. Science is a clear understanding of truth, the enlightenment of reason. Below, more words. The title. It read:

    On the Killing of Plagues
    A Treatise on Unseen Morphons and the Use of Mold Extract as Infection Treatment: A Double-Blind, Randomised, Sugar Pill-Controlled Trial
    By Lord Brandon Stark of Winterfell, Maester Qyburn, Maester Luwin and Archmaester Marwyn, with assistance by Acolytes Colemon, Rhodry and Tybald Snow.​
    Journal of Scientific Inquiry, Volume 1, Issue 1, published on 05.02.274 by the Crown of Winter Institute of Learning.​

    Brandon Stark felt a strange feeling that he decided not to look at too closely lest it be smothered along with everything else. He wouldn’t last much longer, he knew. He’d be lucky if he saw Winterfell. But as he stood atop the deck of the Northern Fleet’s flagship, bearing forth the bounty of work done over centuries and years, he decided that he didn’t really care what the half-cocked wonder duo was thinking after all. A lesser son of a lesser house under a lesser Cause might have lost all sense and dropped everything in order to swear vengeance against those two, but he had more important things to do. He’d left behind competent men and women to oversee the transition. He no longer needed constant watch by his blood to defend from murders. And he was looking forward to no longer having to fight on behalf of slavers, no matter how clean and shiny their coin.

    The Essosi cunts could have their shit continent. He was going home.
     
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    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (Jon-I)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    A/N; This is ballooning massively. For the sake of symmetry (and my sanity), I'll eventually merge all the parts of this particular POV into this single post later. But I've decided to post it piecemeal like normal chapters in the meanwhile.

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    jodBUhb.jpg


    JON

    “-. 274 AC .-“​

    He was glad to be leaving the Bolton lands, even if he didn’t get to see the Dreadfort demolished and burnt down like it deserved. He wasn’t so glad about them not going round to bash in the heads of all the cunts getting ready to make trouble, now that the flayers weren’t there to stare them down with their sharp knives. But Lord Stark said he’d much rather wait and see who was too dumb for their breeches. Planned to use them in ‘war games’ come spring, whatever that meant. As if he needed to explain anything. Jon thought Lord Stark should’ve just done the lordly thing and told them to shut their bitch arse mouths and follow his travel plan, seeing as it was so fancy and urgent-like. But far be it from him to lecture his elders about how to rule the North. Last time he did that, the Old Cunt punched him in the head and bemoaned the gods for cursing him with two lackwits instead of just the one.

    Aye, the cheek on Jon Umber to want his Pa brought on the trip with them. Never mind that Uncle Mors barely pulled his head out of his arse enough to mind him most days. Never mind that it was the man’s own girl that Pa was trying to get back when he got his head bashed in so hard he was left simple. Jon didn’t care how many ‘reassuring’ smacks he got from either old arsehole, nothing was gonna convince him that keeping Pa out of sight was for the best. Pa was still a man, wasn’t he? He could still swing an axe, couldn’t he? He still had strength enough to bend old Hoarfrost into a knot, didn’t he?

    Nothing was gonna convince Jon that Old Crowfood wasn’t bitter over his Pa either, being a ‘mere’ castellan and all. He never missed the looks on Uncle Mors’ one-eyed mug whenever they got Uncle Hother’s books and letters. Pa was always so happy, just like a young boy excited at mail from an adventuring older brother… but then his face would fall when he was reminded that he couldn’t read no more. Or even remember anything for any span worth a damn. And those moments when Ben Umber had a flash of his old wits, when he realised what he lost and broke down weeping, those were the worst.

    Maybe it’s for the best Pa didn’t come, Jon thought glumly. What kind of son was grateful to see his father so done in? But those were the only times when he was left to hold his Pa instead of being slapped over the head and sent off to do shit duties for ‘coddling’ him.

    The one time the Old Cunt tried to pull Jon away was the only time Jon recalled that his Pa went mad mad. Almost killed old Lord Hoarfrost. His own father. One-handed. Then Pa broke down and wept in his arms and-

    “Are you deaf, boy?” Hoarfrost Umber slapped the back of his head. Jon felt it even though his layers of fur and helmet. Fuck. “I said go and watch them snow huts being made. Or would you rather help Muff build ours?”

    “Piss off, old man, I already know how.” But he went and obeyed anyway because it let him throw his sticks and skis right in the Old Cunt’s face as he left.

    Also because Big Muff made his butt clench. Jon still didn’t understand why the Old Cunt had taken him on, instead of letting him rot with the rest of the Dreadfort lowlives. Jon damn near took him for kin early on, that’s how big and broad he was, but then the lump turned around and he didn’t have no hair on him, not even on his eyebrows. Freak slathered himself in pig grease and shaved himself baby-smooth every damned week, and not just above the neck either. And then there was the really nutty stuff Jon wished he didn’t have to stumble on.

    Never trust no man that pisses like a woman, that’s all he had to say.

    The days that followed, they picked up the pace. Lord Stark seemed to have decided they could be trusted not to break their fool necks so he drove them as fast as they could manage on those skis of his. Well, theirs. Making and learning their use for themselves had been the first thing Lord Rickard ordered when he came up from the west. Jon came around to them right proper. Them boards let you travel right quick in winter time, as fast as riding a palfrey in summer. At least. And that was just the basics.

    Which was good because they weren’t going straight home. And they wouldn’t be staying home neither. Lord Stark’s travel plan really was all fancy and urgent-like.

    They made good time to Karhold, where Rickard Karstark welcomed them on behalf of his father, who was out checking on some problem or other with the ice harvesters on the coast along the Grey Cliffs. Probably more dumb cunts that couldn’t tell blue ice from the salt. They had their own share of them in the Bay of Seals. Lord Stark taught the Karhold men how to make and travel on skis while they waited for the man, including the bunch of craftsmen and apprentices and letter-knowing boys he’d sent raven ahead to order ready for travel. Well, more like he had his learned man – a Maester Mullin and his adorable little helper – do the teaching while he was holed up in the Godswood with orders that no one come near the place. He’d done the same at the Dreadfort too, and would be doing the same at every other stop thereafter. Jon didn’t know Starks to be so pious, but then if his family lackwit miraculously recovered, he’d turn pious too. He’d turn pious right quick and then some.

    When Lord Willam Karstark finally got back, Lord Stark lingered only so long as it took to make sure he hadn’t missed anyone before having the Old Cunt lead them off to Last Hearth. Lord Karstark didn’t even have time to try holding a straight line on them boards, and he didn’t enjoy being lumped on the sleighs with the baggage neither. He learned right quick once they made their first stop though, so Jon figured he wasn’t as big a cunt as he could’ve been. Mercifully, their stops otherwise passed with just a pittance of grumbling at most, and that was just the few whiners who were still worried their cocks will fall off because of the new cold training Lord Stark commanded of them. As if anyone would notice the difference! Wasn’t it bad enough they were already being shown up by a Maester? A Maester! And his girly boy apprentice too! It was insulting!

    They made it to Last Hearth with just one of the Karhold men dying, a farmer who done misjudged a slope and broke his neck. They made a cairn for him before moving on.

    During their short stay at home, Jon stole as much time with his old man as he could. It meant they couldn’t keep him quite as out of sight as the Old Cunt wanted, but fuck his shame with a gnarled dogberry. Jon even told him so to his face. Fucker should maybe think about what it means that he had to glare up at his own grandson. Then maybe Jon wouldn’t have so many chances to think about how he was stronger than the Old Cunt too.

    “I almost wish Lord Stark had asked the Karstarks to secure the Dreadfort instead,” Jon complained to the Heart Tree that afternoon. “That way I wouldn’t have had to leave Pa with just Old Crowfood.”

    The Heart Tree was white and ancient and had nothing to say back, as usual. Looked a lot better without the bloody tears though. And the red that used to trail down its open maw, like blood from a fresh kill. A lot less crazy. If Jon knew what difference it made to spend a few hours scrubbing off all that petrified sap, he’d’ve done a cleaning a long time ago.

    Jon did worry he might’ve made a mistake though, the second time in the same hour that his father went and introduced himself to Lord Stark and started asking childish questions about the shorter man and his family as if it were the first time they met. Never mind how long they’d known each other before Pa was made a lackwit. But Lord Stark answered him seriously and patiently and gifted him one of the silver rings in his beard when Pa looked longingly at it a tad too long. The Lord smoothed out Pa’s beard and put the clasp in himself too, all solemn-like.

    “This way, mayhap you won’t forget about me.”

    “Never!”

    Jon was glad he was a man. Otherwise he might’ve cried that night when Pa Ben showed off his new favorite thing and chided him for thinking he wouldn’t know who slipped it on him. “I know I’m a lackwit, but not that much of one!” Ben Umber laughed boisterously. “Who else could’ve done it without me noticing? The Old Man forgets I exist and One-Eye’s too busy navel-gazing! ’Course it were you, my boy! Who else?”

    Jon couldn’t leave home fast enough.

    They left westward towards the mountains, where the Wull himself met them at the pass, with his son Theo and a small group on bear paws. He took them to his longhouse and feasted their small party, accepting their gifts of flour, wine and smoked meat and gifting them in turn with wolf furs, bear furs, shadowcat hides, and the most delicious ground pork greaves that Jon had ever tasted. Lord Stark lingered for a couple of days while the Wulls learned how to make and use the skis and sticks and the new snow shoes the rest of them were using. Then they were off with the Wull and his party in tow, to met and greet and feast and exchange gifts and collect the rest of the Heads of the Clans in the Mountains. Knot, Liddle, Burley, Harclay, Norrey, they all joined up with their best fighters and craftsmen and learned men and wise women.

    “Umber!” blustered Brandon Son of Brandon upon settling them in the hall of his father. “When I heard you were still a maid, I was shocked! I was sure you’d be on your third wife by now!”

    “Norrey!” Jon bellowed, hauling arse to clasp arms and headbutt the smaller man because he was no maid, thank you very much! Tough skull on him, though, not gonna lie. “When I heard you still hadn’t started mining all that gold, I was shocked! Was sure you’d have your own Casterly Rock by now!”

    It was an open secret that Umbers weren’t the first choice for betrothals because their seed made for big sprogs that often killed the women coming out. Not so open was the secret that Umber men often partook of the right of first night around the same time their women’s moonblood stopped, so they could pass their bastards as trueborn children. The only reason Jon’s siblings weren’t around was because the difference in mother was too obvious. Pa Ben had them shipped off to find their fortunes in Essos, back before he got the blow to the head.

    Also an open secret was that clan Norrey styled their banner as six poisoned thistles on gold because they had the dubious honor of being the only people in the North to have discovered gold. Dubious because the miners didn’t work themselves into an early grave by age forty. Instead, they died within a year, usually after gut pains, weakness, fits of madness, and falling into a sleep they never woke up from again. The few goblets and coins cast from the gold killed people the same way too, including the Norrey himself at the time. That had been during the first century of Stark rule.

    Fortunately, no one got poisoned at the feast or after.

    Or cursed.

    That they could tell.

    … They’d see in a month or five.

    Their much increased party came out the other side of the mountains to be received by the First Flints. The Flint turned out to be just twenty-three, barely older than Jon’s own eighteen. Torghen Flint, a stout man with red-knuckled hands as big as hams. Quite respectable by Jon’s standards. The Old Flint had died not long before on a ‘hunt.’ They’d found him gutted near a bear with its neck snapped old madman had actually been the one walking away from that fight! Flint went and actually feasted them on some of the meat saved from that very beast before they finally moved on and left the Mountains altogether.

    Jon was glad, even if he wouldn’t admit it. It was fucking cold up there! How Lord Stark and his ‘Maester’ endured it in barely any layers, Jon hadn’t the foggiest. Even with all the training they were all still going through. And did he mention that ‘Maester’ Mullin spent his mornings spanking their arses one after another? Three out of three? At their own weapons? ‘Maester’ Mullin, what a croc of shit!

    The look on the Old Cunt’s face, though, when the good ‘Maester’ made him kiss in his own arse print? Delicious.

    They didn’t enter the Wolfswood, instead taking the coastal path so they could still ski on and not lose their progress. They made it to Deepwood Motte without incident, save Norrey spraining his ankle and having to be lugged around on one of the dog sleighs. The look on his face wasn’t bad either.

    Lord Jeor Mormont and his group from Bear Island were waiting with the Glovers in Deepwood Motte when they arrived. After the usual two day stay, they went on. Again they took the long way around, circling the Wolfswood along the foot of Sea Dragon’s Point, then going round the edge all the way to Torrhen’s Square, the home of House Tallhart where the Ryswells of the Rills, Dustins of Barrowton, Reeds of Greywater Watch, and the Flints of Flint’s Finger were already gathered. And that was the last stop before they all set off for Winterfell, where the Manderlys, Hornwoods and Flints of Widow’s Watch were already waiting for them.

    Once past Castle Cerwyn, they came upon the most peculiar baggage train just a day out of Winterfell, driven on some of the strangest wheelbarrows he’d ever seen, with one big wheel in the middle. He dismissed them at first, seeing as one was broke and got whoever was in charge to call the whole thing to a halt. He ate his own thoughts later though, when he saw it catching up to them barely hours after they caught sight of Winterfell themselves, despite cutting across the hills on skis. Come to think of it, those wheelbarrows were carrying much more baggage than any one man should be able to push or pull alone. How much faster could armies move with those things? How fast coud they resupply?

    Jon spent the final stretch in something of a tired haze. Then an altogether different daze from how much his head kept turning. Lord Stark hadn’t shared why he’d come out collecting his principal bannermen on such short notice. The Old Cunt thought it was probably to dismantle the Bolton lands into smaller chunks between them. Either that or because of the whole Citadel cock-up – the Old Cunt was right pissed that Uncle Hother hadn’t come home to take over for old Danner, even though the Maester hadn’t been no traitor far as any of them could tell. Seeing how much was happening at Winterfell, though, and Cerwyn before that…

    Unfortunately, Jon couldn’t even think about it proper because of all the venerable greybeards around him. Jon really wanted the trip to be over so he could go on a bender and pass out for a while. He liked himself some good company, but these wiser-than-thou old men, Gods! The Mountain men were fine, but the others were damn too curious and envious of House Umber’s great ‘honor’ in being the ones entrusted with the stewardship of the old Red Kings’ castle.

    He’d like to see them spend just a handspan’s worth of time down in that secret dungeon, with its darkness, its stench, its walls lined pink with human skin, the framed cunts, the pickled cocks, the stuffed skins and carcasses of people who were splitting images of almost every one of them jealous high lords. Karstark, Hornwood, Glover, Dustin, Tallhart, Ryswell, even the Old Cunt himself, they all had doubles in that oh so rosy gallery. Fuck, Jon couldn’t be sure there weren’t any stuffed men in there that weren’t just doubles, considering the many Bolton wives in there, not to mention how far back the gallery went once you got past the newest collection. Every High Lord of the North Jon could think of was in there, save Lord Stark himself.

    “He was building up and waiting for the right specimen to immortalise,” Lord Rickard had said, not even a crick in his jaw as Jon was struggling to keep his guts from spilling out through his nose. “Living vicariously comes with rather exacting standards, I’ve found.”

    Fucking Starks and their fucking ice for blood.

    Then again, Jon spoke too soon. Thought, anyway. He hadn’t met the little Stark yet. Then he did and there was nobody in the whole world that could stop him from having his bender after that.

    Jon Umber woke up under the unfamiliar ceiling of the unfamiliar bedroom in some unfamiliar townhouse of some unfamiliar townsman whose son was not entirely unfamiliar after all the meet and greet of the previous day and night. Which he still remembered. Vaguely. Part way.

    “Lord Jon.” Maester Luwin looked even younger up close as he briskly took a seat at his bedside. “Any pain? Breathing problems? How many fingers am I holding up?”

    “… My jaw hurts and my head’s pounding, I’ve got the mother of all hangovers, the air smells like arse and I need to piss like a horse, how’s that?”

    “Drink this water, the bad air is from the pig sty you inhabited after the last drunken brawl – your fourth, I believe – and the outhouse is at the back if you’re good enough to walk.”

    Jon groaned sitting up and drank the water and – wait, a pig sty? This late in winter? They had enough of them in use that he could just stumble into one? Wait a second. “… What about my jaw?”

    “That would be my father, on whose behalf I already asked and received clemency so you may not seek retribution.” Luwin prodded Jon’s jawbone through his beard. Jon winced. “Nothing broken. You’ve strong bones, my lord.”

    “Damn’ right.”

    “Drink.”

    He drank the second mug of fresh snowmelt, then a third before he felt like his bladder was about to burst. He hurried downstairs as fast as his pounding skull let him, was in the outhouse long enough that the pounding faded completely, then staggered back inside in search of warmth and his boots. He found the former but not the latter, and the Maester wasn’t anywhere either. Looking around, he got as far as wondering if it was really a smallfolk that owned a trunk so fancy before it finally occurred to him to wonder how he’d even gotten there. He’d gone on a bender, that was right enough, but he didn’t actually remember any of it. Or what all happened leading up to it. Which meant it worked right good, but fuck if the Old Cunt wasn’t gonna tan his hide like he was ten years younger.

    Following the noise, he found a second exit. This one didn’t lead to the road either, instead opening into a large yard shared with the house next door, with a smithy smack in the middle. A large, open smithy that was also half a workshop for… pretty much everything he’d seen worked on at home and then some. The Maester’s pa was one of them jumped up blacksmiths, it looked like. Wait, didn’t them grey rats swear off all family ties?

    Grudgingly glad for Lord Stark’s training that let him ignore the cold nipping at him, Jon breathed deep and long like he was taught, just ten times to get the tingling started, then went out and approached the two, no, three people working there. He’d’ve thought it was some apprentice or partner in trade before he saw the getup. The smith in his leather apron and headscarf looked same-ish in the face as the Maester, so he could see the family connection. Jon’s jaw trobbed at the sight of the man’s arms. And fists. Damn, very respectable by his standards.

    The third man was right weird though. Short, squat, extremely respectable fists and arms, and and a face that looked about to bite your head off. The stranger had the same robe as Luwin, which belatedly made Jon take it in properly. It wasn’t so much a robe as a coat, made of thick grey wool and long enough to reach the ankles, slit at the back for riding and open at the front, tied with black cotton lace above the waist. The Maester’s upper sleeve was lined in metal links of chain set in the fabric, each half-way on top of the next like many-colored scales.

    If Luwin had scales on one arm, though, the other Maester was wearing a whole mail. His grey coat shimmered even in the shade of the winter dawn, glinting in many colors from wrist to shoulder and from waist to neck every time the smith stepped on his bellows, causing the forge to spew flame and sparks into the air.

    Jon came to a stop just as the shorter man finished working a link of grey steel into Luwin’s sleeve. It had special pleats sewn in, Jon realised.

    “There you go,” the short one grunted with satisfaction and maybe a smidgen of pride. “May it be the first of many.”

    “I’ll drink to that!” the smith called from his workbench as Luwin murmured his thanks.

    “And who do we have here?” The short man turned to behold Jon. “Well now, you’re a big one. Actually, that’s right auspicious! I’m Marwyn, Seneschal of the Crown of Winter Institute of Learning up in yonder keep. How’s your arm? Any strength worth a damn?”

    “I can show you if you like,” Jon growled, offended. “Where do you want the punch?”

    “Well, if you’d caught me yesterday I’d have said the underside of my right cheekbone, but you missed your chance.” Eh? “As is, I’m not so much interested in how deep you can stick it as I am in how smoothly you can pull out.”

    Fuck japes. Base ones too. Maybe he should give the man pointers.

    That’s how Jon wound up sitting on the shortest stump he’d ever sat in, poking around the squat man’s mouth with something straight out of a Bolton’s randy fancies and now he couldn’t even handle holding a measly pair of tongs because of those dead fucks, fuck the Boltons.

    Framed cunts and pickled cocks flashed through his mind.

    Actually no, that’s wrong. No one fuck the Boltons. Ever. Let’em die.

    The thought stirred something at the back of his head, but not remembering whatever memory he’d bendered his way out of remembering was the whole point of going on a bender. He focused on Marwyn’s instructions and set about yanking stuff out of the madman’s mouth with these new ‘forceps’ things.

    And so Jon Umber yanked. And tugged. And jerked. And wrenched as hard as he could, and then again. And again and again and again and – “Alright, really?” Jon gasped the twentieth time he yanked on the baddest tooth buried in the ugliest swelling he’d ever seen without loosening it even a bit. “Are your gums made of rock or something? What the bloody fuck is your jaw made of?”

    “Better stuff than yours, clearly,” Marwyn grumbled after taking the forceps away and looking at them. “Well, at least they’re not bent this time.”

    “Or broken,” Luwin sighed. “Any pain, Master?”

    Master? Not maester? What’s this?

    “Plenty, but I’ve had worse. Ever told you of my time as a shadowbinder’s thrall? The fucking was so-so, but having your blood sucked out through your pores, now that’s pain.”

    What had he just heard?

    But Marwyn wasn’t even looking at him, instead digging through some pouch at his belt for something which he broke a piece of and held out. “Here. Eat this. Maybe then you can put your back into it.”

    “I ain’t having no funny mushrooms.”

    Marwyn tsked. “Right where the Maester of Winterfell can bear witness. You should replace the giant on your banner with a chicken.”

    “Fuck you, Maester.”

    “Come come, Umber. I do get off on power, but you barely rate higher than your uncle.”

    Jon gaped. What!? That fucker! He didn’t dare! Uncle Hother was no pillow biter! Any rumors about that whore he gutted were terrible, vicious lies!

    Somehow, though, he got talked around to eating whatever it was. And because food didn’t digest all that quick, he got roped into hauling charcoal and coal as well. Oh, if only the Old Cunt could see him now, playing the lowborn apprentice. Hoarfrost Umber would not be happy, if just because he wasn’t the one who ordered it. The Others take all three of these cunts, Jon wasn’t happy, but what was he supposed to do? He wasn’t gonna be made out to be a coward in front of Lord Stark’s eyes and ears. He wasn’t no moron, nobody that young snagged a post like that without being the most devious fucker this side of the Neck.

    Then Jon was back on his little stump clamping the forceps on that there wisdom tooth and he pulled. He tugged. He jerked. He yanked. He wrenched. He saw red, hauling arse out of his seat, pushing the squashed cunt’s head back, gripping the tongs in his other hand so hard the tooth creaked and then he wrenched it right- “Get the fuck OUTTA THAT BOIL YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

    The big, square tooth burst out of gum and mouth with a spray of rank pus.

    He did it! HE DID IT! HE TORE THAT CUNT TOOTH OUT OF THAT BITCH ARSE MOUTH LIKE THE BITCH IT WAS! WHO’S NEXT!? YOU? YOU! YOU FUCKING CUNT YOU’RE THE ONE WHO PUNCHED ME IN THE JAW COME GET SOME!
     
    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (Jon-II)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    A/N: Still planning to merge this into Jon-I eventually.
    ===============
    “-. 274 AC .-“

    “I’ll pay you back.”

    “Yes you will. For my torn robe. And the half my links that I lost. And all the soft foods I’ll have to eat until my guts stop trying to dribble out my nose.”

    “I’ll pay your pa back too.”

    “Yes you will. For his black eye. And broken jaw. And dislocated arm. And my medicine. And the time lost on work and business while he recovers. And the soft foods he’ll have to eat until he doesn’t see stars every time he tries to chew something. And the fence. And the wall. And the outer wall. And the fire. And mother’s glory box that you threw at him and is now kindling for the smelter along with every last of her special sheets and pillows and the wedding dress I’d only just finished de-mothing. And my mother’s spinning wheel, which was our final proof of concept and therefore a priceless heirloom before you ruined it. And everything else on the exhaustive list I’ll provide this very evening, while witnessed by as many maesters and lords as I can find besides himself Lord Stark.”

    Jon Umber wilted.

    “Now that’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?” Marwyn said brightly, sounding far too cheerful for someone who’d had his nose broken. Again. The Archmaester hadn’t stopped gleefully fondling his shit tooth, nor did it seem like he would any time soon despite having to spit out gobs of the foulest pus imaginable every other turn in the road. “It were me that fed him that mushroom. Poor lad had no idea! He’s just a victim of an evil, devious old man that done preyed on the poor little boy!” Excuse him!? “I’ll send the first payment tomorrow. That’s the honourable thing, yes? You northmen are big on that up here.”

    “I’m not talking to you,” Luwin groused.

    “Oh woe is me! To be cursed with such a cruel apprenti-is that the Young Lord?”

    Eh?

    Brandon Stark was rappelling down Winterfell’s wall.

    Jon Umber stopped, mouth agape.

    He blinked, astounded. Reality, being the utter cunt she so loved to be, didn’t stop being reality just because it didn’t make no godsdamned sense.

    Was there no one watching that child? Wait, no, there was. And they were helping him! The biggest lunk Jon had ever seen outside his own blood was the one giving him the rope to burn his arse on! And there was a right fancy guardsman right next to him, just holding his face in his hands and not doing anything! What the fuck?

    Jon didn’t notice all the other people that went and stopped to gawk around them until Luwin nudged him in the side. He hurried along before the crowd squashed them. They were all cheering, the dumb fucks. Didn’t they realise their child lord could fall and break his fool neck?

    He did fall. Leapt off the wall right onto the naked back of a black stallion that came out of nowhere and swept him forth to cut the path of a second, far less impressive horse, sending its rider nearly falling out of his saddle with a yelp as the animal reared to a stop in the middle of the market.

    Luwin facepalmed.

    “Well!” Marwyn said blithely as they resumed their walk nearer to the side of the road. “That’ll solve the muttering about the Young Lord’s bravery or I’m the God-King of Ib.” What’s this now? “You missed old Hus so you wouldn’t have heard. Turns out there are some people – quite a few actually – that’re right worried over the Young Lord not beheading anybody yet. They’re glad he ain’t no lackwit, sure enough, but a craven isn’t all that better, looks like.”

    “You don’t say.”

    “There was a rape while Lord Stark was off south,” Luwin explained. “The Young Lord tried him, heard the case against him, even offered to hear any case for him – which the raper’s mother went and provided with much passion, if not all that much sense – then instead of sentencing him he tossed him in the dungeon. Some people think he didn’t technically pronounce a sentence so he needn’t swing the sword so young. On the other hand, everyone knows that’s why he didn’t pass the sentence, so is he craven? That’s what some are asking. Including my father’s business partner, who never lets me hear the end of it when our visits happen to overlap.”

    “Doesn’t help he hadn’t been to no executions before either.” Marwyn gargled and swished mouthfuls from his wineskin. When he spat out, it looked like the splatter of rotted whale blood. “Already eleven years and not one rolling head to his name. Young Lord went and watched the man get shortened when his father came back, right enough, but boys start a lot younger ‘round these parts, or so I’ve heard.”

    Jon had seen his first execution when he was seven. Jon also recalled something about a Stark that became Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch at age ten.

    “Right,” Jon cast about for a change in topic. “This whole jumping off walls business-”

    “Oh don’t get me started,” groaned Winterfell’s Maester, briefly cradling his forehead before the bumping commoners cured him of it right and proper. “Did you know Winterfell is a maze? Because it is. It’s a grey stone labyrinth of walls and towers and courtyards and tunnels spreading out in all directions. In the older parts of the castle, the halls slant up and down so that you can’t even be sure what floor you’re on. The place has grown over the centuries like some monstrous stone tree, one whose branches are gnarled and thick and twisted, its roots sunk deep into the earth. You’d think that would get a boy excited about skittering through tunnels in the deep to dig for treasure, but no. Brandon Stark, as always, has a better idea than everyone else in the world, that being to get out from under it all and scramble up near the sky. Says he likes the way it looks, spread out beneath him, only birds wheeling over his head while all the life of the castle goes on below. When he fancies to write or draw something, he perches for hours among the shapeless, rain-worn gargoyles that brood over the First Keep. Our First Keep, where we’re supposed to set up our new Citadel. Have you ever woken up to the sight of a stripling climbing over your window? I don’t recommend it. I swear he does it on purpose. Windowsills are one thing, but the best handholds aren’t anywhere near there otherwise!”

    Jon carefully didn’t say anything as Maester Luwin went and got more than started. Instead, he tried to imagine it. And when he realized he hadn’t seen enough of Winterfell for it, he instead imagined himself standing on top of the highest tower at Last Hearth watching it all: the men drilling with wood and steel in the yard, the cooks tending their cauldrons and the gardens, restless dogs running back and forth in the kennels, the silence of the godswood, the girls gossiping beside the washing well. Just the picture of it made him feel like the lord of the castle, in a way he doubted even the Old Cunt would ever know.

    “It wouldn’t be such a task to keep my poor heart from giving out before its time if not for all the secrets it teaches him. None of the builders up to the Builder himself ever leveled the earth – there are hills and valleys behind the walls of Winterfell, you must have seen it. But it’s not enough that he knows that, no, whatever he’s learned of the keep is beyond anything I’ve been able to puzzle together. Possibly beyond anything I’ll ever piece together, knowing my luck. Since we arrived and helped him finish his last pressing business, he’s taken to popping out from literally everywhere. I don’t even want to know how he gets on top of the Broken Tower.”

    “There’s two ways, so far,” Brandon Stark said as they finally reached him.

    How had he even heard them? Jon could barely hear him.

    “You can climb straight up the side of the tower itself.” Brandon Stark spoke with the air of someone indulging in some secret jape. “The stones are loose, though, and the mortar that held them together has long gone to ash. They don’t take my full weight well anymore.”

    “They shouldn’t have to take your weight at all!” Luwin said in exasperation. “Has my predecessor soured you so totally, My Lord? Does my peace of mind mean so little to you?”

    “An excellent if transparent emotional argument,” Brandon Stark replied as his garishly dressed kinsman disappeared back through the gates, corralled back into Winterfell by another kinsman much older than all of them. Dark hair, long face, respectable height if you didn’t have giant blood, how many Starks actually were there? “The one where you offered to make a pottery version of me to throw off the tower was better.”

    “And useless,” Luwin groaned.

    “Only because I saw it coming,” Lord Brandon ‘reassured’ him. “If the narrative convention hadn’t materialised, I might not have followed through on my off-handed ‘let’s see if I can climb as well as my namsake’ plan.”

    “Oh, you are not blaming this on me!” The Maester told his lord with shocking rudeness. “You’ve no namesake as mad as all that in all of House Stark’s history, and the world is no song or story! Has your Lord Father still not impressed that enough?”

    “Ah, but testing how much life wants to be like certain songs and stories is the whole point.”

    Jon looked over at the half-ruined monstrosity that was tall enough to somehow be seen over the wall from even that close.

    “The best way is to start from the godswood,” Brandon Stark continued as if there had been no break in the topic at all. “You shinny up the tall sentinel tree there, cross over the armory and the guards’ hall, and leap roof to roof – barefoot so the guards don’t hear you overhead. That brings you up to the blind side of the First Keep. The renovations haven’t even started proper, it’s still just rats and spiders living there, and the old stones still make for good climbing. You can go straight up to where the gargoyles lean out blindly over empty space, and swing from gargoyle to gargoyle, hand over hand, around to the north side. From there, if you really stretch, you can reach out and pull yourself over to the broken tower where it leans close. The last part is the scramble up the blackened stones to the eyrie, but that’s really just a measly ten feet. Hardly a problem. Especially now that there’s no crows left to come and mob you to see if you’ve brought any corn. Or at least that’s what they want you to think.”

    As he beheld the young boy ahorse next to him, Jon Umber was struck by his shameless manner almost as much as he was by his appearance. Not so much his looks – Starks all looked the same when you got down to it – but his clothing. It was nothing like he’d ever seen. The boy wore a black vest of some new cut, all black but with golden lace decorating the front top to bottom with braided cord trim in gold, with silver buttons and bright white at the cuffs and the upright band collar. His hands were covered in black moleskin gloves, and his legs in long black trousers and shined leather boots, also black. Over it all, he bore a coat vaguely like the one the Maesters had, but made of fine suede that flapped in the winter breeze. It was also black, save for the direworlf stitched on the back in silver thread, the golden fringed straps on the shoulders, and the buttons – silver again, cast with direwolf heads, undone to the last as if the cold didn’t bother him none. And there were small folds on his right shoulder where a number of chain links like those of the Maesters sat, neatly stacked like scales of black, grey, gold, brass-green, copper-red and silver.

    “Don't you all expect me to start throwing coins!” Brandon Stark suddenly told the commoners who’d gathered in a right thicket around them.

    Jon eyed the smallfolk cautiously. He only had a knife on him but his fists should still do fine.

    “Please let us pass, unless there's anyone here with a positively unhealthy obsession with having more booze every day than the last? You, the man with the raised hand. You should talk to friends and family about that, wanting booze more than water is a sickness of the mind you know! In the mean time, though, the Archmaester here will be needing a taster for his stills, do you have a job? What about trouble, are you a trouble maker? Angry drunk? Of course you’ll answer no. Anyone can vouch for you? Well now, those are quite a few hands, you must be a killer at parties, you a bard or a fool? Never mind, here.” The boy took a notebook out of some pocket or other, wrote down something with a fancy pen, ripped out the page and passed it to the suddenly awkward-looking man. “Take this to the jobs overseer, directions are on the note – can you read? No. Alright, is there anyone here who knows the place? Right, take him there and get him started on that, you’re a kind woman you are, here’s a moon for your trouble. That will be all, thank you everyone!”

    The people got out of their way with heartfelt well wishes and many backslaps to the lucky man who was either hungover or still drunk from last night, now that Jon had the chance to look at him.

    “Jon Umber.”

    “Berk, Berk, Berk!” Jon flinched and glared at the cackling raven as it flew off the roof nearby. Dumb bird, that was not how you pronounced his name!

    “From the look on your face, I’m assuming you don’t remember our meeting yesterday, and likely nothing after that either.” Brandon Stark pat his horse. The stallion obediently set off at a slow amble, no spurs, no saddle, no reins, no nothing.

    “… Aye.”

    “Well, nothing to it then. You’ll find out at the funeral.”

    Funeral? There was going to be a funeral?

    “By the way, this is Ser Neigh.”

    “What?” Jon felt staggered by yet another shift in topic. “Ser What?”

    “Nay.

    “Ser Nay?”

    “Not Nay. Neigh. You behold Himself, His Chtonic Magnificence, the Grim Darkness, the Shadow Never Once Cast by Sun and Stars, Lord of the Empty Night, Ser Neighs-A-Lot.”

    Oh, just take his head off now and be done with it.

    “He says hello.”

    “… Hello.”

    The horse snuffled him.

    Right.

    The Others take all of today.

    Jon Umber submitted to the cruel hand of fate and wound up attending a funeral. A solemn funeral. A funeral attended by everyone who was anyone in Winterfell. Which seemed to be a lot more people than he expected, but then again there was a lot more of everything than he expected. The number of armed men about the place was some eight times bigger than what he thought was the number of Winterfell guards in peacetime. Some looked patchy though, in both get and appearance. Garish even. So did the representatives from the other noble houses, great and small, of which there were far more than had come with their group. More than he knew existed. There was a fairly big crowd indeed gathered for the funeral. A funeral in the Winterfell lichyard.

    A funeral for Big Muff.

    “What the fuck?” Jon muttered as he entered on the heels of his small future liege lord. “No really, what the fuck?”

    “By your leave, My Lord, we’ll go take our places.”

    “You have it, Archmaester. Luwin, you’ll stand with the household.”

    “Understood.”

    The maesters went ahead of them while Jon was still reeling from what he was seeing.

    Everyone was there. Bunch of Winterfell menials. Them High Lords that Lord Stark came and collected, all of them on one side of the freshly dug grave, wearing their best getup. Even Lady Lyarra was there on a palanquin, flanked on either side by her youngest son and daughter. Across from them were the maesters of the new Citadel, all of them wearing those same woolen coats with metal chain links set into their sleeves. All of them including his uncle Hother, whose flinty eyes lingered on him briefly but otherwise stood like a tall sentry with his long dark beard and face as hard as winter frost. All of them to a man lined up on the other side of the pit and the open coffin above it. All save one.

    The last was hanging back near the entrance that Jon had just been led through, looking just about ready to fall to pieces while Lord Stark loomed over him, dressed like a forbidding god in attire similar to his son’s, except twice as fancy and with the coat changed for a large black cloak lined with fur as white as snow. Only that wasn’t what he was doing, was it? Looming. Not like that.

    “Are you sure you don’t want to speak any words?”

    “I can’t, Lord Stark, I can’t. I just can’t.” Tybald Snow looked like he was half a step away from crying himself to death. “I can’t-just looking at him is-he just smiled when he saw me and then he-he-he looked happy, how can anyone-I know why but-I can’t be anywhere near him, I just can’t!”

    “Hush now, shh, you don’t need to do anything.” The Lord Stark went and pulled the young man into a hug, his cloak almost completely hiding him from sight like a direwolf of silver and gold stars imposed on the night sky. “Can you stand here, then? With me?”

    “I’ll try,” the young lad gasped thickly. “I’ll try.”

    Jon Umber watched as Tybald Snow fell to a thousand pieces, unable to look away. Slivers of memory pricked at the insides of his skull, skewering his brain every time they bumped against his thoughts like washed up flotsam in the Bay of Seals.

    “The late Lord Bolton, it turns out, had a type,” Brandon Stark said as Hoarfrost Umber stepped forward to give the most awkward, bewildered eulogy Jon had ever heard in his entire life. “The type that makes it hard for the third leg to get up without taking certain liberties, let’s say. Taking them away, I mean. From other people. Very specific people of very specific bodily attributes. A hunt here. A rape there. A spot of torture for flavor. All three of them back to back for the entirety of so and so’s wedding night. Sometimes he even remembered the supposed point of availing himself of new couples, instead of losing himself in planning how to debase and stuff the remains of the people he thought were his rightful subjects. Occasionally, he even overcame his resentment over having to settle for body doubles enough to stick it in the bride before he went all soft. Skip nine months and change and, well, here we are.”

    “Muff was the father,” Jon breathed. “The stepfather.” But that didn’t feel right-

    “Oh no, the groom killed himself the day after. Didn’t cope well with being raped, you see, never mind everything else. As I said, Lord Bolton had a type.” The eleven year-old boy didn’t seem to care that the biggest, strongest man in the North was staring down at him in jaw-dropping horror. “He did manage to switch from groom to bride at least once though, thus…” The boy gestured briefly where his father was holding and consoling the poor bastard. “The mother didn’t last long herself, but she did power through until her son’s weaning before she threw herself into the Weeping Water during the springmelt. The man over there was her father. The kind, self-assured grandfather that took in her girl’s boy and raised him as his own with all the love and care and firm guidance that neither of his parents would have had it in them to show even if they had lived.”

    Jon was starting to remember, now. What happened the prior day. The long and merry meet and greet with ten times as many people as he’d expected, including his own half-brothers from Essos, before it all came to a crashing halt when some lad came screaming bloody murder about House Umber’s newest dogsbody. There was shock, yelling, stomping half-way across the keep, more yelling. And then there was a wretchedly clear image shoving its way into the spot behind Jon’s eyes. Big Muff laid out on the ground, smile on his bald head while the frenzied half-maester was wrist-deep in the blood pooling from the knife stabbed in Muff’s heart.

    “His name was Andric, did you know? A farmer, sometimes lumberjack, sometimes fisherman, and veteran of the Ninepenny war. Big man. Had some Umber blood from one of your forebears that went and knocked up some lass during a name day feast or whatnot. A good, stout, fierce man and loving father. Up until the Lord Bolton made his second visit. The late Lord took exception to the example the man was setting for his bastard son, or so it’s figured. Might be he just hit all the right spots. Either way, turns out flaying a man’s cock off one strip of flesh at a time can break even the biggest, strongest, fiercest man until you can remake him into whatever you want. And making an eight-year-old boy watch, watch some more, and then participate, will let you make him into whatever you want too.”

    And then Bolton died out of nowhere, the boy got brought back North by what might not have been coincidence, Jon’s grandfather decided to take the man in out of pity – or more, Jon thought as he recalled what he first thought on sight of the man – only for the two to end up laying eyes on each other in Winterfell.

    At which point the old man killed himself right in front of his boy.

    But Jon hadn’t seen it that way. He’d assumed the worst and pulled his sword on the lad. Which, as he belatedly recalled, was why he didn’t have it during his drinking binge. Or now.

    He remembered something else too, now. Brandon Stark on the roof of the firewood shed. Glaring quellingly down at him while stroking the feathers of some raven or other that had gone and pecked at Jon’s face just as he was about to-

    “Lord Bolton was fair scholar of language too, but I think I’ll let you find out for yourself why he got fixated on the man’s name. It’s quite enlightening.” Brandon Stark looked at him. His grey eyes seemed made of quicksilver that burned like cold stars as they reflected the snowglare like it didn’t bother him at all. “You didn’t really think I’d let it go with you absconding into the sweet embrace of forgetfulness, did you? You pulled a sword yesterday, no by your leave, no nothing. Terrible idea up here in Winterfell where my father is king, I can attest personally. Have you found the right words for that now, my lord? Or will you be missing the meeting of the Lords as well?”

    Jon Umber almost couldn’t hold the gaze of his future liege lord who looked back as if it wasn’t fucking terrifying what all kinds of horror had come spewing out of the mouth of a boy of barely eleven years. “…I may have made a mistake.”

    “Quite.” Brandon Stark smiled mildly. And commanded. “Don’t break guest right. Ever.”

    Jon Umber stared after the eleven year-old boy as he strode forward to stand next to his siblings.

    Fucking Starks and their fucking ice for blood!

    But then, that’s why they paid homage unto them, didn’t they? They were their icy gods that took the winter for their own so that the rest of them could make some life in the other three seasons, wasn’t that what Pa said? Bard’s truth was still truth, wasn’t it? Some shape of it.

    When Jon’s grandfather was finished, Lord Stark carefully led Tybald Snow to the front and kept him under his protection as the boy stooped to grab and throw the first handful of dirt into the grave, sobbing fat, ugly tears all the while.

    “I’m proud of you, lad.”

    Tybald Snow just made a wretched noise, clung to the man under his cloak and refused to come out.

    Jon’s chest grew tight. Lord Stark was a good man.

    He quietly went to stand next to the Old Cunt-

    Muff didn’t just mean bungle, Jon realized suddenly. Muff also meant cunt.

    Bolton had flayed a man’s cock off until he turned lamebrained, remade him into the closest thing to a woman anyone could be without a cunt, took him as his personal dogsbody, and named him Big Cunt.

    He almost didn’t manage to swallow back the vomit before it spewed out all over the Lady Stark and the little ones.
     
    Last edited:
    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (Jon-III)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    A/N: Will hopefully not run into word count limits when I try to merge this with Jon-I later.

    ===========================
    51vf414.jpg


    “-. 274 AC .-“


    The meeting of the high men and learned men that followed the unexpected funeral, and which everyone jumped to have as soon as possible if only to distract themselves from the sick fuckery they’d just seen buried, wasn’t a meeting about the Bolton lands. That was already decided without them. All they had to do was stand there and nod and say aye in all the right places as Lord Stark went and attainted House Bolton right there over the fresh grave, its best possible claimant clinging to him and tearfully disavowing his blood all the while.

    They stood and witnessed and said aye in all the right places and otherwise shut their bitch arse mouths.

    The lands would be broken apart in many smaller domains, some of which would go to branch houses founded by the ones returning from Essos. They would even get to replace what troublemakers got culled during the spring war games, which would be more thoroughly planned in the coming days (and might become a regular thing?). Whether or not a new overlord would be assigned again at some point, the Lord Stark said neither aye nor nay to. Jon would’ve thought Lord Stark was holding the place for when Tybald was ready, but seemed not. His granduncle then? Or his cousin Osrick that was at least able enough to attend the meet? Not that other lad that went and made a fool of himself in the market earlier, surely?

    Maybe little Ned? That’s what Jon would’ve thought in a sane world.

    But then, in a sane world, the meeting of the high men and learned men that followed the unexpected funeral would’ve been the turning point in Jon Umber’s life. Especially since it had proof and witnesses and vouchsafers in the shape of that new Master of Silverpine Tower. Not to mention the Cerwyns and some three thousand northmen returned from Essos. And everything happening outside the walls of Winterfell, that too. Hells, just one of them Winterfell Wonders should’ve been the turning point in his life, and the life of the whole North for that matter. Jon didn’t need to have seen the faces of everyone half an hour into it, to know they all had the same thoughts as him.

    Winterstone, summerstone, paper, glass (better than the Myrish!), postholers, drills, screws, hard hats, running water, wheel saws, band saws, chain saws, mechanical looms, spinning wheels, spinning jennies, spinning frame and flying shuttle for thread mills, wheel-powered everything, blast furnaces that could make iron by the cartload and the start of an idea to make something like it for steel. Two or three of them could have changed their way of life. Hells, the trip hammer upended blacksmithing all by itself. All of them together? They’d needed a whole new word for it. And they got it. Industry. Industry that was all just materials and tools for the real stuff.

    Ice fishing that didn’t kill you overnight, maple sugar, beet sugar, soybeans, stone harvesters and buriers that could turn poor land into farmland, the latter doubled as a harvester for one of the two new crops that could each make the North self-sufficient all on their own again, new farming techniques and tools that could improve existing crop yields tenfold (tenfold!). Hedge plows, planters, crop lifters, threshers, seed drills, and Gods knew what else would come out of the woodwork in the future (tenfold! At least!). And did he mention that the fucking crannogmen were probably going to feed the whole North by themselves by this time next summer? Rice! Where the fuck had that crop been all this time? What dog shit! Also, fuck the Reach! And fuck the Riverlands too!

    Cast iron stoves, portable camp stoves made of steel sheets that weighed practically nothing (not plates, sheets), a portable melting foundry (Squatmaester Nutter had made it up so he could work on them dentistry horrors on the go), handle-turned choppers, mashers and grinders, canning that outlasted potting six times over (at least!). Them tin cans sealed with cork and wax weren’t heavy as sin either, they didn’t shatter like wine bottles, they could stack into crates, they didn’t shit or need to eat like goats or chickens, they didn’t slow down an army on the march, they’ll let ships stay on patrol for months without resupply, and nobody would die of the runs. One be ever so sorry, Maester Danner, but all them logistics you taught just turned to shit! And if they have to import cork by the shipload from the Reach? Fuck the Reach anyway! They had screw-on lids now!

    Piped water, piped water in your kitchen, piped water in your privy, new soaps, soap for your mouth, brushes for teeth, cleanliness rules explained clear enough to make some fucking sense, public baths, public steam baths, in-house privies that didn’t smell somehow, birthing forceps, cure for the fucking plague, Jon couldn’t even fathom how many people weren’t gonna die when these things started spreading. Sprogs. Sprogs everywhere! They wouldn’t die and they wouldn’t have to worry about starving! Didn’t look like any of those extra hands would be idle either. Haha!

    The new foods weren’t as many, but they were tasty as a hug from your sane and sound Pa after a winter of jerky, cheese and porridge. Wedge pies, brans (Jon bravely didn’t check them for barbs), fruit candied in maple syrup, boiled rice, fried rice, boiled earth apples, soup of earth apples, baked earth apples, salted fried earth apples seasoned in rosemary and everything else under the sun (delicious!). Then Lord Stark blandly informed them that’s all they were getting because they were saving the rest for planting. Oh, and they weren’t going to trade them out either so they’d just have to grow their own when seeds and sprouts became available, unless they were willing to invest in so and so enterprise? It lit a fire in their bellies and then some, sure enough, because there was playing dirty and then there was House Stark.

    How the fuck were they supposed to handle all this? Where had it all come from? Because most of it wasn’t the half-maesters they stole, they all said so! It weren’t all the Braavosi either. It was madness!

    When Squatmaester Nutter mentioned he had plans for some two dozen new kinds of booze, Jon latched onto the news like one would drown their sorrows, and he wasn’t the only one. Maple mead, three kinds of berry wine, just as many strongwines, the same for firewine, fire ale, ten different kinds of firewater (one for every fruit!). They called horseshit of course – even a handful was too good to be true! – but the lunatic shrugged. Said that while he didn’t expect all of them to become available immediately – they needed fermenting for months, years even, it was horrible! – earth apples were the only thing he hadn’t developed a method for yet because he’s a master alchemist, don’t you know. As if they’d just believe him without proof! But then he had the gall to say it’d all be shit anyway because none of them could make real firewater worth the name without him having to distill it for days. He’d tried, don’t you know, and they could have these little ‘tumblers’ and taste for themselves what even his ‘best efforts’ amounted to. They sneered and tasted for themselves right good and the rat bastard! Who did he think he was, insulting the Gods’ own drink like that!?

    They might have gotten a little worked up there.

    When the war stuff came, the lords looked ready to just bend over backwards and pull their knees behind their ears so Lord Stark could have his wicked way with them and begin the next stage of their lives. Though that might just be the drink making him remember things weird-like. Unlike before, though, there were as many nutty ideas as there were good. The trebuchet would mess up forts right proper and there were ideas for an arrow ‘multi-loader’ that could make bowmen right terrifying (just what the legs of lasses had to do with archery, Jon hadn’t the foggiest). But unless Lord Stark was keeping anything else to his chest until the ‘war games,’ that was it. And maybe the signalling towers. Other than the canning and everything else that would splash over of course. Those YiTish wheelbarrows would solve a lot of their travel problems too, outside snow days. Jon supposed it made sense to see the Essosi sellswords in action before they decided anything else, but he didn’t see things changing much. Pike, crossbow and shovel, that’s all he had to say. Well, maybe one of them ‘entrenchment tools’ instead, specially if they really had to dig their latrines away from camp from now on.

    Maybe there was something to be said about wooden armor, least if it was made of ironwood, but linen armor just sounded insane. Though maybe it was only meant for ski scouts in winter? Lamellar was a better idea in Jon’s opinion, didn’t them Wolf Pack fellows use it? Them that Osrick Stark done and mentioned that one time? There might even have been something about flying fires in there somewhere, but the drink haze had been at its worst around that point. Gods, that firewater packed a punch. Or was it firewine? Fireale? Fuck, who even knew, maybe it was all three banded together to dance a jig inside his skull just for kicks. Maybe he shouldn’t have drunk so much? No, that was just silly, he’d barely chugged enough for eight people!

    When sailing finally got its turn at the end, the only surprise was Lord Stark’s command that most of the new ideas not be implemented yet. Or, at least, implemented but not deployed. Outside the North anyhow. He wanted them to be all strategic-like.

    “We haven’t had much trouble in terms of southron spies, but that will change, and the seas are a different beast. I’ve commissioned the Maesters to perform a full assessment of the factions likely to involve themselves in the North’s business,” Lord Stark gestured at the maesters and acolytes seated across from them that had taken turns presenting the miracles on the mounds of paper before them. As if he even needed to justify himself. “Call it a teething job. Out of everything, the naval advancements may become our greatest tactical and strategic asset, provided we maintain the element of surprise. Since all the new goods and products will need trading, I want to get together over the coming days to discuss internal logistics instead. Chiefly, developing our rivers. Roads also, and there have been certain ideas involving rails that might mesh as well. Some focus on charting and map making would not go amiss either.”

    Their new fleet (and hadn’t that been a surprise) and everyone on it had been snuck into the North via Widow’s Watch and Ramsgate. Ser Wyman Manderly had gone and made it happen, using planning, knowledge of the routes, and some new contraption called a compass that looked like magic when he showed it off. Far as anyone knew, the thirty-one ships that left Braavos had been swallowed up by a freak winter storm on the way to White Harbor. The ships with new figureheads and paint on their sails would ‘discreetly’ rejoin the sea trade one at a time over the next couple of years.

    “Hopefully that will be enough ‘low cunning’ for the southrons and Essosi not to expect many other surprises,” were Lord Stark’s words.

    Other surprises like new shipyards. And new ships. And construction yards in the many cave river mouths dotting the coasts. Insofar as they made coin enough for it from everything else anyhow. And sheathing ships in copper, which would definitely be held back until the next war that nobody wanted to guess about because they didn’t want to ruin the good mood none.

    In the meanwhile, the maesters would be trying to develop a way to get location and distance based on numbers and the stars. Somehow. Sounded mad to Jon, and even the single half-maester with any knowledge of watercraft admitted they barely knew where to start there, which Lord Weyrman Manderly wryly commiserated on. But a lot of the rest had sounded mad too. There were mutterings about ways to sail against the wind, but nobody had figured out if those were actually good either. Or even possible. The only sure thing besides the compass and copper sheathing was that stacked planks bound in iron rings could be used to build masts, but that was it. Seemed that all that time in Braavos didn’t gain the Rose all that much knowledge about seamanship at all, compared to everything else. Just hazy ideas with no starting point. How strange.

    The reason Jon recalled that bit so vividly despite the drink haze wasn’t because of what it meant but what happened right after. Namely, Squatmaester Nutter and uncle Hother hauling and dumping on the table the biggest, heaviest, most skull-cracking book Jon had ever seen, except the pages weren’t bound. Instead, they were held together by brass bolts through some mighty big holes in the side. They looked made to add new pages easily. He didn’t need to squint to read the words on the leather-bound whalebone cover.

    The Inventory – Volume I.

    “This,” said Osrick Stark on behalf of himself and his unavailable uncle, sounding positively vicious. “Is going to be our ultimate defense against every last guild and their dastardly anti-competitive practices.”

    It was a record of everything they’d talked about, as well as a boatload of other little bits and bobs that people had come up with. The Marwyn ‘bent flow’ and ‘septic tank,’ the Luwys & Hus ‘ablution array,’ the Qyburn ‘antiplague,’ the Brandon Stark ‘duck tape’ (were Starks flaying things too now? Say it ain’t so!). All of it was written in impossibly orderly script and drawn up in right arse-whipping detail. It turned out that someone or other had invented something called a printing press – also outlined in the Inventory somewhere – that could make books as fast as the blast furnace made iron. They were just waiting on a good enough ink, which the maesters were well on the way to perfecting out of hemp oil, of all things, or linseed oil if that didn’t work. Every last one of them lords of the Great Houses would be taking copies of The Inventory with them when they left. And would be expected to coordinate with everyone else whenever someone in their land came up with something new that was good enough to put in. It would preserve and spread knowledge well into the future and then some.

    And all of it would be freely accessible to every northerner who wanted to do any sort of business. Apparently, plan was that whoever got something recorded in that book was entitled to a share of the profits from whatever job or product used the same invention. Well, for the first four to ten years, and not if the other man came up with it on his own without ever consulting the Inventory to begin with. You could use the stuff in there to make whatever you wanted for yourself, but if you made it for a business or to trade, it was like as if the original creator invested into your business. You could negotiate your own deal if you got a hold of the original inventor, but it needed to be put down in writing three times, with a copy submitted to the nearest official archive.

    “Plan is to restrict it to family lines that have lived in the North for at least three generations, and for access to the book to be logged by name and date,” Osrick Stark continued. “So we’ll know when some enterprising person owes anyone else for any sudden, lucrative ideas. Hopefully we’ll have something more comprehensive in place by the time foreigners start snooping, or people start sending their friends and paid nobodies in their stead in an attempt to cheat the system. We may eventually need to provide official supervision to negotiations, but it should be some time before people start strong-arming. That said, we might want to keep some of the big strategic assets out of public knowledge for now, like the blast furnace and naval advancements, especially the compass. Maybe the antiplague as well, considering how badly a wrong cure can go. We’ll need to talk it out further over the coming days to figure out exactly what can be risked and how. Finally, we’re still unsure about the time until the ownership of the idea ought to expire. We’re only trying to give clever folk time to make something from their ideas, not stifle everyone else who could make us money. ‘One generation’ seemed vague and excessive, and ‘one seasonal cycle’ was too inconsistent.”

    Jon didn’t know enough to say one way or another if this was better than courting the trade guilds. They didn’t seem to have harmed White Harbor none, and he thought House Stark was completely nutters for actually wanting them to compete against each other. And everyone else. And their grandmother. He’d have split everything between them if it were him, so that everyone had something to work on that nobody else did. That way it was all neat and tidy and nobody had to scramble to constantly change what they were doing and how they were doing it. Wasn’t up to him though, so he didn’t say anything.

    Plenty others did though, and it even seemed like the high lords of a mind with Jon might carry the day. But Lord Stark put his foot down and told them flat out that everyone was getting all or nothing. If they persisted, he’d put them up to explain why so and so House was less deserving of such and such compared to them. They could talk among themselves to coordinate if they wanted, but woe betide them if he finds out about any price-fixing done at everyone else’s expense.

    “Or do you expect House Stark to force terms and shoulder all the resentment thereof?”

    Jon seriously wondered why Lord Stark didn’t just say that from the start. It made a lot more sense than the whole ‘competition is good for the creation of wealth’ nonsense. Honestly, ‘plague killed my coin counters so I became a coin counter’ was only going to carry him so far. Jon still didn’t say anything though.

    Nobody else did either, because it was around that point that people put their heads together going through The Inventory and started to realise just how many of them entries belonged or half-belonged to Brandon Stark.

    And not the one from Essos neither.

    Slowly, the eyes of all the High Men of the North turned to behold the child that had been sleeping in the chair at his father’s side since damn well near the start of that get-together.

    Rickard Stark laid his hand on the boy’s head and gently nudged him. “Son? Take a break. There are some people here who want to talk to you.”

    Brandon Stark stirred, opened his eyes-

    Jon Umber sat straight suddenly, blinking rapidly to- but all the booze haze in the world didn’t change that those eyes glowed like snow as if they weren’t no eyes at all. All around him, Jon’s grandfather and all them other high men stiffened and brought their hands on the table with curses of surprise.

    Or fright.

    “… What-“ “Fucking hells-“ “Wargs, I knew it-“ “Is that- “My Lord-“

    Brandon Stark raised a hand.

    The High Lords all shut up.

    And it wasn’t even to shut them up none. The boy instead reached hazily for the far window. A white raven that had also been napping all that time flew down from the rafters, unlatched the bolt and flew back to leave room for the window to open and let a pair of them black ravens in. They fluttered over to land on the lad’s arm, rolled notes held in their beaks and claws.

    “Four snoopers so far. Martyn’s getting the last one in lockup now.” The white fog cleared from Brandon Stark’s eyes as he passed the first note on to his father. “Don’t look like they know each other, and Cousin Rodrik vaguely recognised three of them. Probably just regular Essosi plants that got swept up in things, though we’ll need to confirm with the others in the Rose. The fourth might be from the South somewhere, likely by way of White Harbor. No offense intended, Lord Weyrman.”

    “… None taken, My Lord.”

    Lord Brandon passed his father the second note. “There’s one bard in the Smoking Log that doesn’t know the new songs that Benjen’s been stealing from under me. But he’s pretty openly enthusiastic about the sheet music ours are showing him, so he’s probably genuine. Which doesn’t exclude him being a spy, so I’ll need to look into his dreams tonight to confirm.”

    “I hope you’ll wait for supervision this time?” Marwyn harrumphed from two seats over next to Luwin. “Please don’t make me beg. I get a tad enthusiastic, or so I’m told. Honestly, they’ll let just anyone dreamwalk these days.”

    “Your dreams terrify me more than any others I’ve seen in his world, Archmaester.”

    “Only because you don’t remember them. You’re lucky I’m here. Letting that sort of entrenched preoccupation fester would be trouble down the line, mark my words. Never mind everything else you’ve been doing before your first shorthairs. You don’t want to grow up a deviant, do you My Lord? What am I saying, that’s already set in steel!”

    Brandon Stark ignored him. “Mother would like to know if she should have dinner brought up or if we’re still leaving that for after.”

    Lord Stark pinched his nose. “Maester Luwin. Please articulate my opinion on this.”

    “Tell Lady Lyarra to get back to not doing anything strenuous. Tell her that Lord Stark’s standing orders are sufficiently comprehensive to handle that particular matter, and every other she might, entirely mistakenly, assume would not survive without her input. And tell her that our supply of pickled horseradish remains superabundant.”

    “So. Later then.” Brandon Stark jotted a quick note, gave it to one of the ravens and his eyes flared white again. Both ravens flew back out the window. “I’m shaking my head no right now and… there we go, message received. She’s annoyed but doing as you said. I’m leading Benjen to her too, and Walder to fetch my guitar. Ben’s already better at it than I am so he’ll keep her entertained until we go attend grandnuncle – and there’s Lyanna too. Oh well, Mother can have her.”

    … What the everloving flying axeshaft up the Night’s King’s blue pucker was even happening anymore!?

    Was it the drink? It was the drink wasn’t it? He’d chugged it on top of quite a bit of ale and strongwine too. Aye, that made sense.

    “Not strictly relevant, Luwys and Hus were designing a glass lamp for my nameday before the whole drama this morning. It’s going to have a curved mirror to focus all the light into something strong enough to read by. They’ve been talking to the blowers to mold the glass sides all fancy. Maybe pair it with glass baubles shaped like a mother direwolf with a full litter. With your permission, I’d have Vayon or one of Annard’s men happen onto their plans and grease the wheels. Maybe make sure nobody robs them now that their walls are damaged, or take advantage of Luwys’ lowered wits from the painkillers.”

    … No.

    Jon Umber paled.

    He was dead. He was right fucking dead.

    Brandon Stark shook his head, clearing the fog from his eyes again. “Right. That’s about all of it. What was the matter?”

    Rickard Stark stroked his son’s head fondly before withdrawing. “These men have questions for you.”

    “Oh! Alright then, I’m here for you now, my Lords. Sorry for being out of it, it’s not easy being in two places at once, and I seem to be going a lot more places than that lately. We’ve not fully integrated our Essosi cousins’ intelligence apparatus yet so there’s a lot of slack to pick up. Whoever said spycraft was easy was full of shit, and if any of you lot happen to suffer from the same delusion, then you’d better have a cypher or two and a new language to sell me. Now what was the question?”

    You could hear a pin drop but Jon didn’t care because he was right fucking dead.

    “… It was pretty rude, wasn’t it? I can teach others how to be in two places at once. As penance!”

    Jon was right fucking dead, Lord Brandon was gonna impale him on his own axe shaft, split him in half on his own sword and spread him over his floor to use as a rug in place of his right fucking fucked name day presents.

    He’d fucked with his Liege Lord’s name day presents!

    “Ah,” Brandon Stark said on laying eyes on The Inventory, voice thick with distaste. “That thing. Go on, everyone. Go ahead and convey your misconclusions so I can dispel them.”

    “You’re Bran the Builder.”

    “Nope.”

    For a moment, Jon almost thought he’d spoken himself, but then he realised the words had come from his grandfather.

    “No.” Flatly repeated Lord Hoarfrost Umber. Because no one else seemed to have anything to say. “Just no. Just like that.”

    “Yes.”

    Grandfather looked between the Inventory and Lord Brandon in disbelief. “… What do you call this then?”

    “The grandest collection of stolen ideas that has ever existed because I’m a no good, filthy thief.”

    Lord Rickard facepalmed.

    Grandfather stared between father and son for long seconds, then looked at every other high lord and their get. When they looked just as stunned as he was, the man turned to the only people who seemed more exasperated than dumbfounded. “How full of shit is he?”

    “Completely,” said Robard Cerwyn, resting his chin in his hand. “And then some.”

    “You lying liars!

    “He was all offended on my behalf for not being given my proper due by my sweetheart,” Medger said blithely as if their Liege Lord hadn’t even spoken just now. “So he made metal sing and wrote a new language. For music. In one night.”

    “Which I also stole from men long dead that were ten times my better because I’m a no good, filthy thief!

    “For which we’re all very grateful, my lord,” Medger replied fondly. “Now if you went and gave me and my Lady a few dreams together, then I’d really be ready to name my children after you.”

    SLAM!

    Jon jumped as his Grandfather slammed a fist on the table. The ironwood dented.

    “Do not. Make light of this.”

    The closed meeting room in Winterfell’s Great Keep became absolutely chatter-free.

    “Do you. Do any of you. Not realise. How much we are being asked to take on faith?” Jon didn’t remember his grandfather ever sounding so livid. “Should I just have faith that all of… of this somehow eluded us until now? Am I to think all of our forebears, my forebears, for the past 8,000 years, were lackwits that couldn’t come up with any of this? Am I to believe the same of yours? Will you believe the same of yours? Am I expected to just have faith that this isn’t all tall tales?” Grandfather looked up and glared at Brandon Stark and Jon was right, he looked livid. And crazed. “Do you expect me to just believe this, boy!?”

    Brandon Stark met Hoarfrost Umber’s crazed eyes with his grey ones.

    There was a frenzied pounding in Jon’s ears.

    “Father,” said Brandon Stark. “May I borrow your sword?”

    “… Granted.”

    Brandon Stark stood on his chair, took Ice, hopped on the table, walked over to the pot of what had once been earth apple soup, took out the huge cast-iron ladle, dropped it on the table, pulled Ice out of its sheath, which took a while, then he – SHING – cut off the ladle’s handle. Re-sheathing the massive sword that was almost twice his length – which took another fair while – the boy set it down on the tabletop, pulled his small notebook from a pocket in his vest, ripped out a small square from a page and set it next to the blade. Then he put it back, stood and walked further down to where Lord Halys Hornwood was seated, except he didn’t stop in front of him but his wife. “Lady Donella.” The boy took a knee before the woman and smiled pleasantly. “May I borrow one of your hair pins? I assure you, I’ll be most careful not to disturb the whole, though I dare say letting your hair down would leave you just as beautiful.”

    The poor woman didn’t seem to know if she should be flattered or aghast, but she nodded when her husband numbly took her hand. Really, what else was she to do?

    Lord Brandon reached out past her ear, took one of the hairpins – one of them small ones – then he turned and walked back over to Grandfather and him, rubbing the pin with his silk handkerchief all the while. Then he took Grandfather’s mead mug, upended it all in his used soup bowl, dropped the torn paper on top, and then dropped the pin flat on top of that.

    Right under their very eyes, Lady Donella’s hairpin slowly turned under its own power until it pointed north.

    CLANG

    Jon jumped. And this time, his Grandfather wasn’t much better.

    CLANG went the pommel of Ice against the ladle handle.

    CLANG

    CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG -

    A nearby spoon suddenly slid over the table and latched onto the iron handle like glue.

    Brandon Stark puffed from the effort he’d just undergone, slowly pulled Ice again, lowered the blade on top of the handle’s end and - SHING – sliced a sliver right off.

    It shot away from the rest as if blown by storm winds and fell off the table right in Grandfather’s lap.

    Brandon Stark re-sheathed his father’s sword, walked forward and crouched before the Lord of Last Hearth. “Lord Umber.” The Young Lord gently picked up the lady’s pin. “Pick that up and drop it here like I showed you.”

    Jon’s breath came in short bursts as he licked his lips nervously. He knew a command when he heard one. Would his Grandfather-?

    Hoarfrost Umber stared Brandon Stark in the eyes, blinking slowly and breathing even more slowly, as if he were faced with the harshest cold in his life and was trying to calm himself down and show it how it could piss off like Lord Stark had taught them. Then, Grandfather slowly, slowly, picked up the sliver of iron, lifted it above the table, brought it above the paper floating in his bowl of mead, and dropped it.

    The sliver of iron from a ladle’s handle slowly turned under its own power until it pointed north.

    Jon stared. Hoarfrost Umber stared. Everyone stared between the Young Lord Stark and… the compass?

    Brandon Stark stood, went to Lady Donella again, put the hairpin right back where it was – the woman blushing all the while, did her man not do his duty enough for her to act like an old maid? – and came back to them.

    Then the Young Lord picked up the lodestone he’d just made, gently took his father’s hovering hand, turned it flat-side up, dropped the sliver in his palm and pushed his fist closed. “To answer your question, Lord Umber, I don’t care.” Brandon Stark waited for his Grandfather to lift his eyes from the wonder in front of him, then he smirked at him. “And by the time I’ve made you filthy, stinking rich, you won’t care either.”

    The quiet that followed… Jon didn’t even know.

    Hoarfrost Umber pulled back and then pushed up and away from the table so hard that his chair fell on its back with a crash.

    What?

    “Get up, Jon.”

    Wha-?

    “I said get your arse up, boy!”

    Jon yelped as his Grandfather yanked his chair away from the table and hauled him out of his seat. What-were they leaving? But-

    Hoarfrost Umber hauled Jon Umber away from the judging eyes of Lord Brandon, dragged him to the head of the table, pushed him to his knees in front of Lord Stark and then knelt next to him right after, bowing his head and raising his folded hands in entreaty.

    … Oh. Oh.

    Jon bowed and folded his hands and offered them to their lord ruler, just like his Grandpa. He’d always known the day would come when he’d have to do this. To say he’d looked forward to it would be a lie. Somehow, though, as Lord Rickard rose from his chair to stand over them, and as Lord Brandon walked over to stand over them on the table next to the man, it didn’t make him feel less of a man.

    Then his grandfather spoke, and Jon suddenly had something new to wonder at when his mind stumbled over his Grandpa’s words half a breath in.

    The oath was not what he’d been taught.

    “To the House Stark of Winterfell we pledge the faith of Last Hearth, the faith of House Umber, the faith of all its sons and daughters, all its children true. Hearth and heart and harvest we yield up to you, my lord. Our swords and spears and arrows are yours to command. Grant mercy to our weak, help to our helpless, and justice to all, and we shall never fail you. Call on us at need and we shall heed. In war. In peace. In life. In death. To the House Stark of Winterfell we pledge our faith, now and always. Above all else in this world. Above all others.” When Lord Hoarforst Umber lifted his eyes, tears were streaming out. “I swear it by earth and water. I swear it by bronze and iron.

    “We swear it by ice and fire.”

    Jon’s breath caught. The last words didn’t come just from his grandpa at him. They came from everyone. Looking around, it was to see Lord Rickard Stark and his Son as the only men in that room not on their knees.

    Lord Stark smiled. It was the slightest thing, barely there. But it seemed to transform his whole face. He took Grandfather’s hands in his. “And I vow that you shall always have a place by my hearth and meat and mead at my table, and pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you into dishonor. This is the oath of myself, Lord Rickard of House Stark, Lord of the North, King of Winter, Lord of the First Men and Green Men and the Children true, Steward of Vows New and Ancient. Now stand, my lords, stand tall and proud as all Men of the North should, and let us make our future.”

    The Lords of the North each knelt and pledged and stood again, tall and proud, ready to make their future.
     
    Last edited:
    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (Jon-IV)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    A/N: Will merge this with the rest of Jon's POVs when I post the next and last part of this volume.

    ===============================


    “-. 274 AC .-“



    That evening, as the Lords and Ladies and Heirs of the North went and attended what did turn out to be the turning point in his life, Jon Umber thought about how you could fit all the music in the world within the space of a day and get tired of all the songs in a few months. At most. If you were half-deaf. And didn’t remember stark shit between a day and the next.

    The night you return, we're having a feast

    The songs he knew were lays and ballads. Stories put to rhyme. Those that weren’t plainsongs spawned by them septons and choir boys down south anyway. They got their fair share of southron bards every once in a while that somehow thought they’d get coin for them. Not all them learned to keep their worship lays to themselves either.

    The candles will burn, you've conquered the East

    He wouldn’t be surprised if them septons paid them to peddle their chants up North where they weren’t wanted.

    So get home safe, as you can't be replaced,

    Other than that? Love songs, some mockrhymes about the southrons (most of them shit at not coming across as the fakery they were), some mockrhymes about the North when them bards were drunk enough to go honest (those made for great bar brawls), and big history matters put to verse (dull as dishwater).

    The honors you've earned, you fought like a beast,

    That left just the big ones that you heard everywhere. The Bear and the Maiden Fair in every alehouse. Brave Danny Flint around every fire. My Lady Wife at every wedding. The Rat Cook, The Dornishman’s Wife, On a Misty Morn. He’d even heard the Rains of Castamere a few times. It was shit.

    So let's toast in your name, raise your glass to the moon,

    Touting your own horn like that was like a king saying “I am the King.” If people need reminding you’re the king, you’re a shit king. Or a shit butcher as happens.

    Shall we dine with the gods, here's a toast, here's a toast to you!

    What kind of nutter expects praise for slaughtering the broody hen and her chicks along with the cock? That’s just wasteful! You’d never see a Stark do something like that!

    Painting the map with the blood on your hand,

    This song was like nothing he’d ever heard though. It wasn’t some lay or story, it was… the singer talking to her man? Except not really because the man was dead so she was actually talking to his memory?

    Expanding the realm, and winning new lands,

    It repeated a bunch, but it was short and simple to sing along with and made you picture what’s happening instead of having to think about it. Would be a killer at repasts, especially late at night with people deep in their cups and all sad-like.

    Get home safe, cause you can't be replaced,

    Sing one of these, get the buggers all sobbing their lungs out their nose, then everyone can go and be all merry-like again once they got it all out.

    The night you return, we're having a feast.

    Still too dainty for his taste, but that might just be the singer. Not that he’d ever impugn Lady Lyarra’s singing voice – he’d never impugn anything of Lady Stark’s! – but he was more of a low and rumbling kind of man. Maybe he should give it a try later?

    The night you return, we're having a feast
    The candles will burn the night you return


    “Another thing of the Young Lord’s?” Jon asked Maester Luwin as the song ended. “He makes new songs too?”

    “Not quite,” Luwin answered as he led his grandfather and him through the Godswood. “The only one I know him to have put to rhyme is ‘Winterfell Fair.’ I’ve no doubt he dreams of many others like he does so much else, but he hasn’t put any to verse, as I understand it. Not beyond what few hymns he sang his siblings when they were small.”

    But they’re not small now? “He sings hymns to sprogs? What hymns are those?”

    “He calls them stoneballads, at least according to Lady Lyanna. He doesn’t sing them except in private with his siblings. Not even the Lord and Lady have heard them.”

    “Oh.” Something Skagosi? Them island wildlings called themselves the Stoneborn, didn’t they?

    “They’re quite the source of drama, it turns out. Did you know the Young Lord took to sequestering himself with young Ned in this very godswood the evenings in the week before Ned was sent to foster? All to teach him a stoneballad all his own, as I understand it. Lady Lyanna still hasn’t forgiven him for it.”

    So the littlest Starks went from worry to jealousy in as much time as it took a proper lad to run away from the sight of the Maester carrying books. Not that Jon had experience in things like that or anything.

    “So unless he has those written down somewhere, he’s not put down anything to rhyme. I’ve lost count of the many tunes he hums when the mood strikes him, but words are rare and unintelligible. He says they’re all in languages we’ve never heard of and he hasn’t the time to translate them. He did work with some of the carvers to create the guitar – the only instrument he’s ever handled in his visions, whatever that means – but he’s shown no remarkable talent for it, despite his perfect pitch. No, if you hear a tune that sounds like nothing you’ve ever encountered, especially on an instrument, it’s most likely the work of Little Benjen.”

    Wait, really? So it wasn’t just…

    They heard footsteps from behind and turned to see that fancy guard of Lord Brandon’s – Martyn – and his big squire – Walder? – who’d stayed behind to close the gates. Seemed they were the last ones in. Jon wished they’d caught up earlier. He’d not realised quite what it meant that the forest inside Winterfell spanned three whole acres. He’d thought they were lost at a couple of points before the music reached them – even Maester Luwin had seemed a tad nervous. They could have used the two to lead the way.

    Now, there was something else on his mind. “… The other Starks are magic too?’ Jon asked in a hushed voice when his Grandfather didn’t react to his glances. Lord Hoarfrost Umber hadn’t said a word since the pledge.

    “That remains unclear. Archmaester Marwyn thinks Little Benjen might be tapping into whatever Lord Brandon taps through him, and the Young Lord agrees. Uses him like a muse, he calls it, whatever muse means.”

    Jon tried not to show his discomfort. This wasn’t the south where albinos and people who could talk with animals were smothered in the cradle, but this talk of magic still disturbed him. What did Luwin even mean? Did little Benjen get into Lord Brandon’s head somehow? Did the Young Lord go into his? Wasn’t getting into the minds of other men the reason for all them skinchanger wars where the Starks gone and killed King Warg of Sea Dragon Point? And all his greenseers and Children of the Forest? What about King Marsh? Jon didn’t know anything specific about that part, but there had to be some reason why the crannogmen bore Stark rule so easily. Was it safe for such a small boy to trawl through whatever Lord Brandon saw that had him lacking wits for years? Did the lad even mean it? Did Lord Brandon even mean it? Or was he just pressing on their heads just by being there? Was Jon being enchanted right now?

    He asked Luwin all that just to see if he could.

    He could.

    The relief was like a spray of snow on his back. Thank Gods that was out of the way!

    “You’ve stumbled onto our biggest conundrum thus far.” Luwin was thankfully oblivious to Jon’s inner thoughts. “Untangling this mystery is the main reason Archmaester Marwyn came north with the rest of us.”

    Well, good to know the Starks already had the experts looking into it. He never should’ve doubted them!

    The darkness of the forest started lifting. Jon assumed they were close to their destination. The Winterfell godswood was proving to have a very dense canopy. He counted ash, chestnut, elm, hawthorn, ironwood, oak, sentinel, and soldier pine as they pressed on. Their thickly tangled crowns were made even thicker by the blanket of snow that had piled on top. It blocked the light almost entirely, unlike the forest floor where Jon still spotted patches of old, packed earth and humus and moss.

    Finally, they emerged into the center of the grove. An ancient weirwood stood there, with smooth bark as white as bone, and five-pointed leaves that looked like bloody hands grasping at them through the snow weighing down the boughs. The face carved into the heart tree was old and peaceful and so clean of red sap or blemish of any other kind that Jon couldn’t make out where the bark ended and the frost began. It made the cluster of people at its base stand out almost as strikingly as the pool of black water.

    Them other worthies from the meeting were lined up on the outer side of the pool. Jon led his eerily silent grandfather to stand at the end of the line furthest in and frowned at the water. It wasn’t frozen but it wasn’t steaming either. Crouching, he stuck his fingers into it. It was ice cold. Wasn’t Winterfell supposed to be built on a hot spring? This was so cold Jon wondered why it hadn’t turned to ice like every other pool and pond he’d seen on their journey.

    Inevitably, though, Jon’s attention was pulled to the people across the water. Lady Lyarra was on the farthest side of the clearing, sat on her palanquin between two of the edge-most roots. Lyanna Stark was on one side of her, knitting blue roses into a crown. Benjen Stark was on the other, slowly plucking at the chords of that strange pear-shaped instrument. Across from the Lady and children, nearest to the rest of them, was Archmaester Marwyn and another, older maester kneeling around a bubbling pot of pewter – no, two of them. Jon almost missed the second one because it was small and didn’t give off any smells or smoke. The big one – Marwyn’s – had a long, serpentine lisle of smoky steam spiralling up and out in their direction.

    Jon almost sneezed when it tickled his nostrils. It smelled strongly of earthy roots and spices and leaves and threatened to make his eyes water.

    Even the whole magic brew didn’t keep his attention for long though. That honor went to the men right under the Heart Tree’s face. Osrick and Rodrick Stark on one side. Lords Rickard Stark and Brandon Stark on one other. And in the middle of it all, laid back on a bed of moss and branches, was Brandon the Elder, looking like a carved statue with frost grown from his brows and beard as he rested under a blanket of freshly fallen snow.

    Jon thought he might be starting to understand why they’d been gathered here.

    When Benjen Stark finally ceased plucking chords at a gesture from his father, Brandon the Elder stirred. Watching him move his head was like seeing an old tree try to uproot itself and shake off snow and age. When he spoke, even that sounded like the cracking of dry wood. “Is it time?”

    Time for what?

    “Just a bit more, granduncle,” Lord Stark murmured, meeting the old man’s grasping hand half-way. “We still need to get the witnesses ready. I hope that’s alright?”

    “Parade me as you wish.” The oldest Stark crinkled his eyes. “My king.”

    “Only to honor you,” Lord Rickard said, not denying the title. He then gestured to Brandon Stark who’d finally approached from where he’d been… writing something or other in the snow and earth all over the place.

    Stark Elder turned his head to look at the boy. “Hello Brandon. I’m Brandon.”

    “So is half the North,” the Young Lord said drily. “Hello grandnuncle.”

    “… I’ve been dreaming of you, great-grandnephew. Sometimes so vividly… Did we meet in truth before?”

    “This is the fifth time.”

    “Ah… You still don’t live up to the vision.”

    The banter continued but Jon couldn’t keep up with it because that was when Marwyn and the other greycoat came and started handing them steaming mugs of that pungent whatever it was.

    “What’s this?” Jon asked when he was the first one served.

    “If you refuse, you won’t get an answer. If you accept, you won’t need one. Lord Stark’s orders.”

    “Is that so?” Jon glanced at Lord Stark, who actually met his gaze and that of the others expectantly.

    Jon drank. Nobody else refused either.

    It had a very strong flavour he’d never tasted and it made him lose track of whatever else the Starks talked about out few minutes in because he got too busy gagging and then puking his guts out. And that was his personal hell for the next half an hour. It was like the perfect set-up for one of them big poisoning cockups the Dornish fancied, except nobody stood to avenge it because everyone else was off spilling their guts too. Them two maesters had the gall to lug them around like dodderers all the while. Couldn’t risk them retching in the pool, don’t you know. Fucking cunts, he’d break them over his knee, he would! He would! As soon as… as soon as he could stand back up and… and figure out why he felt so good all of a sudden, wow.

    “That would be you expelling the last of the impurities and negative energy. What can come out the top end at least,” said the old maester he didn’t know. Because Jon had apparently rambled that last bit aloud. “The brain is now releasing certain substances that cause pleasure. I am told it is normal after bowel cleansings such as this.”

    Jon groaned pitifully, swaying where he’d fallen on all fours. “That why we were told to piss and shit or we wouldn’t be let in?”

    “Quite.”

    “Great. Go away.”

    He went away.

    Jon groaned and patted himself all over. Mercifully, he still had all his limbs and was still in his thickest garb, including that new kind of hat with ear flaps made of beaver pelt. He then looked around blearily, finding his grandfather and everyone else doing just as bad as he was. Wow, them mermen puked enough for ten people, didn’t they? Jon climbed to his feet – which took a while – waited to see if he’d fall over – which took another while – then figured he wasn’t drunk so he helped his grandpa up too. Was he always so light? Then they hung off each other on the way back to the pool’s edge, where they thumped their arses down on the tallest, thickest root they could find and waited. Watched the Starks talk about… something or other. Essos, sounded like. How them Company of the Rose sellswords and who knew how many of everyone involved with them had to skedaddle because the whole place was full of cunts.

    Also, because one or both of the two main cunts involved were probably Blackfyres. Maybe. Wait, what?

    “Wait,” Rodrik Stark squinted from where he knelt at the side of his grandfather. “The One and a Half Cunts are Blackfyres? But why didn’t they help us then?”

    Brandon the Elder closed his eyes as if in pain, then looked at Lord Rickard pitiably. “Please forgive my grandson. He’s not a bad lad, he’s just a moron.”

    “What!? Piss off, Pop, as if you even considered them!”

    “He has a point,” said Osrick Stark from where he stood over the both of them. “What would Blackfyres have to do with this? I thought it was some sort of alliance between the merchants of Pentos and Bravos to eliminate any merchants of northern origin. With the Iron Throne’s decree not to tax northern trade with Essos, a new market has just opened where northmen living in Essos are the favorites. I thought the attack took place to eliminate the monopoly we would have on the new trade route that just opened. If Mopatis or Varys are Blackfyres, they gained nothing from destroying the Kingdom in Exile, even if they did know about us. It’s certainly not their hands that our assets are being divvied up between. They’d have been better served helping us so they’d have the Company of the Rose as a ready army for further weakening the Targaryens.”

    “The coordination speaks of much longer-term planning,” Lord Rickard explained. “Such a level of preparation couldn't have happened so quickly or spontaneously. If anything, it reads more like a hasty counter-plan set off by unexpected developments.”

    “Your trip South,” Brandon the Elder said lowly from his bed of tree and snow. His air was that of one who’d long since reached this conclusion on his own.

    “Some of the broader backing and cooperation required for this escalation would certainly have come from Aerys' boon to the North and White Harbor,” allowed Lord Stark. “It certainly has the Essosi scrambling to take advantage as we speak. How they justified the hostile takeover probably varies as much as the people involved, though, and the coordination could not have been achieved spontaneously. Nor so quickly.”

    “Pentos wasn’t gonna let the Braavosi have the prize all to themselves,” Rodrik Stark muttered, stroking his grandfather’s limp hand. “Braavosi trade houses ganged up to prevent the inevitable monopoly of Blue Petal Manor. All the other Free Cities would have gotten in on it just for the chaos.”

    “So, what?” Osrick asked skeptically. “Mopatis and Varys felt backed into a corner and just up and decided to throw the dice? I don’t see it. This is already turning out to be as disruptive for Pentos as it is for Braavos and Essos as a whole. What grand plan could they have had that was worth this cockup? I can’t see how this didn’t turn into a ruinous loss for themselves with little to no chance to recoup whatever they invested. And it has to be a lot. Connections, blackmail, information, coin, whatever else. It makes no sense.”

    “Unless their grand plan was specifically designed to destroy the Kingdom in Exile,” Rickard Stark said. “Assume you’re a Blackfyre. Now picture yourself in their position: you are the rightful royal line of Westeros but have been spurned at one time or others by one or all of the Seven Kingdoms, save one. That one kingdom happens to be running an operation no different from what you’ve been driven to do across the sea. An operation that you probably know about since your predecessors uncovered it through whatever means in the past. This Kingdom has never participated in a Blackfyre rebellion. Even better, the southrons let their septons besmirch their good name while assuming they’re perfectly happy with treatment under the Iron Throne. None of that is something easily swallowed by people who've been suffering the same as your dispossessed royal lineage. So what do you do?”

    Osrick Stark frowned. “You… wait and see?”

    “Notwithstanding the cutthroat mercantile infiltration and espionage methods used by rote,” Rickard Stark nodded. “With every time the North refused to get involved in Targaryen kinstrife, the Blackfyres would have been more comfortable considering the Kingdom in Exile – and through it the North – a powerful potential asset.”

    “And then we fought in the Ninepenny War,” said Brandon the younger.

    Well, Jon thought. Shit.

    “… Oh,” Orsrik Stark scowled. “And we turned from potential asset to enemy asset in need of subsumation or dismantling.”

    Jon felt a chill go through him. If it really were Blackfyres and not just cunts coming together to do cuntish things… How long must the decapitation strike have been in the making? It would’ve worked too, if not for the grey rats doing their own cuntish things back home.

    Brandon the Elder, it turned out, felt the same. “… All the rage I have ever felt has risen from my flesh like a steam of disbelief.”

    “It’s all conjecture, admittedly,” Lord Stark admitted ruefully. “But you did say they’d made it clear it was personal. Even though your interests had never clashed more than the norm. Nor had you even met.”

    “You know…” Jon had to strain to hear Lord Brandon, though thankfully everyone around him was doing their best to be quiet too. “I’m feeling more and more pleased with every passing moment that I live here in the North instead of these free cities.”

    “Free cities that are based on horrible chattel slavery and only have a cursory aquaintance with the concept of honor?” Osrick Stark asked dryly as Jon and everyone tried not to preen too obviously. It was their brain being all woozy, that’s all it was. “Remember that any place that has to call itself ‘free’ more than once is not.”

    “Free Cities that can’t even band together to cow the Dothraki and other problems to trade out of a fear of someone else possibly gaining a slight advantage?” Rodrik asked flatly, looking at his increasingly quiet grandfather worriedly. “Also, they want the instability in the near middle space to bring about more slaves being sold. Even though the disruption of civilization and depopulation of the interior is slowly but surely destroying Essos and will bring about an economic collapse the likes of which none of the Free Cities or Dothraki will survive.”

    Jon blinked slowly. He hadn’t even thought that far. Maybe the peacock wasn’t such a simpleton after all.

    “Free Cities that would rather have pirates cripple large scale trade through the Broken Arm in fear of their rivals being able to set a tax?” Rickard Stark told his son. “Remind me to go over Daemon Targaryen’s conquest of the Stepstones at some point.”

    “For all the good it did,” muttered Brandon the Elder, words coming more slowly now. “Not that I’m one to talk.”

    “Don’t be ridiculous, grandnuncle,” scoffed the Young Lord. “What you brought us will change everything.”

    “Hah!” The bark of laughter seemed to drain the man. It took him a time to muster new words. “Tell me honestly boy – how many crops are actually any good.”

    “Four.”

    This was what real disbelief felt like, Jon thought on seeing the look on the old man.

    “… That’s three more than I hoped,” the man whispered, though it carried all the same to Jon’s ears, somehow. “Four more than I thought...”

    “Most crops won’t live outside our glass gardens,” Lord Stark said gently. “And we already have those that will.”

    “The sugar beets, soybeans, potatoes and rice, though, they’ll change everything,” the Young Lord smiled triumphantly. “You are magnificent, grandnuncle. Thank you.”

    The elder Brandon watched his namesake in wonder and laughed softly, then settled on a tired smile. “You’re such a nice boy. I only recognize three of those though.”

    The Young Lord frowned. “Right. Potatoes. I meant earth apples.”

    That didn’t go down well with the old Prince at all. “…What.” The old man blinked, affronted. “What. That swindler’s nonsense wasn’t just cheap swill?”

    “… No?” The Young Lord tilted his head uncertainly. “It’s the best crop in the world. I mean, rice is great and all, it keeps forever and we’re lucky we have a bog the size of a country to grow it in. But potatoes still multiply at least fivefold at their worst and they can grow practically anywhere. Do you have the names of who got them? They might be worth a bonus. Best to cultivate such daring people.”

    The Elder Brandon looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

    “It’s alright, grandnuncle,” the Young Lord said magnanimously, stroking the old man on the forehead. “Everyone makes mistakes. I forgive you.”

    The Godswood of Winterfell rang with tired, free laughter.

    Jon watched and listened, feeling something close to awestruck as the Starks casually talked about completely changing their entire way of life as if their self-imposed duty of doing right by them didn’t weigh on them none. As they stood there amidst red leaves and fallen snow that gleamed under the strewed rays of winter’s evening, the men of House Stark looked like Kings of Winter holding court as if their rule had never broken, strong and firm and perfectly reflected in the pool of black water. The shadows of leaves played on the Lords Stark’s faces. The Godswood shimmered languidly in the shade of the evening. And as a breeze wafted midst red leaves and white branches, the Gods of Earth, Stone and Tree seemed to hold their breath.

    The fey mood seemed to reach them too, then. “It’s time, isn’t it?” the Elder murmured.

    Lord Rickard took the hand that was already held by his son and looked in their direction. “Mage? Are they ready?”

    “Aye, Lord,” Marwyn was pouring wooden cups of some clear liquid. “By your leave?”

    “Granduncle? Are you ready?”

    “Just about…” The old man turned his head to Osrick Stark. “I love you, nephew. And I’m proud of you.”

    Osrick Stark looked stricken. “I love you too, uncle. I’m proud to be your blood.”

    The Elder turned to Rodrik Stark then, who looked fit to run away like he’d tried earlier that day. “I love you, grandson.”

    Rodrik Stark looked about to cry. “I… I love you too, grandfather-“

    “But since I won’t get to live long enough to be proud of you too, I’ll have to settle for some last advice.”

    Any hint of tears vanished as the lad gaped, shocked. “Grandfather!”

    “Now I know you can’t control yourself, so I forgive you in advance for getting yourself disowned and thrown out on your arse.”

    “Pop, you complete-“

    Fortunately our King here is a fair and generous man and likely won’t send you off empty-handed, so I still expect you to marry a good Lady. Better not be some whore though. I don’t have a hope you’ll steer clear of brothels, but at least buy and refurbish one to offer proper quality merchandise. Should give you a fair revenue stream if naught else. But if your wife isn’t highborn, there’ll be hell to pay. You should look for one from a noble but poor house. Offer a good bride price instead of taking a dowry. Buy land, use coin to incite smallfolk to move to your estates, have them clear marginal land, build villages and so on. Loan your liege lords money and ask for prestigious titles as a reward. Employ a mercenary captain as your master-at-arms and have him train a fine force beyond what the garrison and bannermen would provide. After a few generations, all the high-born will forget brothels and cheese-mongering were behind your family's military power, fine titles and honours and great wealth and will be eager to have their sons marry your dowry-laden daughters.”

    “Oh fuck you so much, Pop!”

    “Alas, I’ve not a drop of Targaryen in me, so you’ll have to live without.”

    “So very much.”

    Lord Rickard shook his head and looked down at his son. “Brandon?”

    That halted the mummery quite soundly.

    The young lord nodded, taking the hand of the old man in both of his. “I’m ready.”

    “WAIT FOR ME!”

    Jon winced at the shrill scream. Looking aside, he watched Lady Lyanna hop down and run to the Elder Stark’s resting place.

    “A prince should have a crown you know! Even if he’s old!” The Small Lady loftily tucked her crown of blue roses around the man’s resting head. None too gently either. But since Jon could see bloody nicks on her fingers from all the way over there, he was going to forgive her. So long as she actually broke off all of them thorns.

    By the bye, wasn’t there any Stark that felt the cold?

    Well, main liners at least. Osrick and Rodrik both wore scarves and gloves.

    “Right then.” Lord Stark waited for Lyanna to return to her place under his gimlet eye. Finally, he looked back at the rest of them. “Then if you are done, Mage?”

    Marwyn nodded to the old maester to start handing out the mugs. Then he went to stand just behind the Young Lord.

    Jon accepted the cup apprehensively. “… This won’t make me puke again, will it?”

    “No,” the old maester assured him, smiling kindly. It made Jon’s skin crawl. “This is to help you see.”

    “See what?”

    “Magic!” called the Young Lord, making Jon flinch and then gape as the boy then produced the sodding Crown of Winter from a small box that had been buried in the snow all that time. “I could waste my time and effort to make pretty sparkles, but that would just be pandering to skeptics.”

    “You’re inventing new words again, son.” Lord Rickard was suspiciously straightfaced as he accepted the Crown, put it on his head, and then pulled a circlet from under his cloak to put on his son’s head in turn. Something the Young Lord didn’t seem to have expected, though that surprise didn’t last long either in the face of his Lord Father’s next words. “The only ‘pander’ that exists is the name for people who arrange sexual liaisons.”

    Jon gaped.

    “What?” The Young Lord balked, aghast. “Well shit. Forget I said anything.”

    Gladly, Jon thought, appalled at the sheer nerve of treating their moment of fucking crowning so flippantly. He quickly gobbled up the brew just to make sure he didn’t break out babbling.

    It tasted like old boot.

    Didn’t set him off barfing again though, and none of them other worthies looked greener than usual either by the time the maester got around to them. He guessed that was something?

    Now what was it that – oh, Benjen Stark was playing that odd lute again. Pretty nice tune too. Another new one. Bit slow and sad though. And where did the pipe sounds come from? And were those trumpets? But where the hells were the drums-

    Looking ahead, Jon saw the Kings of Winter come again, save one. The Young Lord was gone. In his place was an unlined outline cut into the shape of a hooded cloak made of one and one thousand eyes of blue and white fire. Except not really because all Jon saw when his sight lingered was crows being burned inside out. It made him wonder if he could eat some of them crow souls too and grow some new eyes of his own. But then he just felt like a heel when he noticed them eyes were all droopy and sad-like.

    The Elder. He barely had any light inside him at all. Everybody else had a whole bunch of them lights all over them from bum to head. Some were stuck really deep in too. But the old man barely had any. Even the blue roses around his head had more light than whatever used to be in him.

    The Young Lord’s garb weaved itself open and overlayed the old man, somehow. The two thought together then. For a lifetime between one moment and the next. Of sense and reason and knowledge dreamed into the world from beyond the stars and everything the man did throughout his life that meant something. It was enough to enlighten even the littles sprog with wide eyes full of wonder, but none of it found a point of purchase. The Elder Stark was an old and tired greybeard that just wanted to rest and didn’t care how it would end.

    It didn’t sit well with their Starry Prince. At all.

    Jon felt rooted under the sudden feeling of refusal as that outline of a hand rose. Feathers of light and darkness parted to expose a baldric made of shining orbs. Each their own light of worldliness. Each showed a lifetime at a glance. When that outline of a hand touched the orb that glowed brightest, Jon suddenly knew from experience how it felt to kill a bear with your bare hands with your guts spilling out. From somewhere near and behind, there was a gasp-

    Then a large hand came down upon the first and stopped everything. Marwyn. Marwyn the Mage. He looked like a boar on two legs, armored in dark steel and a salt-speckled beard so long and red and bright it may well be on fire. He was behind the Young Lord now. His other hand slowly rose as well, pointing away. Pointing at the Heart Tree.

    Jon looked at it. It was white as bone with leaves as dark as midnight that still had shadows, somehow. All black and white as if no color was allowed to touch it, even from all the bright lights of all shades and sizes that came out of everyone now. There was something gleaming in one of its eyes. Like a gemstone. Or a tear.

    The drop fell into a funnel of feathers and eyes, rolling all the way across the clearing into Lord Brandon’s hand.

    Marwyn retreated.

    “…Oh.” The Elder stared at the light in the Younger’s hand, awestruck. “…so this is what you meant…”

    Brandon Stark dropped the light.

    It sunk into the old man and bloomed into a flower, then a river web, then its own star field that filled him and lit up like dawn with a sigh of elation.

    The Younger took the Elder’s hand and unravelled around him. The great cloak of feathers unwove itself. The eyes unbraided from runes to flares and then floating fires scattering like stars at midnight. The black sky melted down through the mists above them, then lower until it seeped all the way through the branches. The speckled void overlayed the boughs. The eyes and stars interposed where the leaves once were. And as the night sky swallowed them all, the ground seemed to fall away and they passed up through the firmament on the wings of some grand, mighty music played by voices and instruments that were out of this world. The sky… The firmament was so far-flung. Full of so many things Jon had never cared to think about. No more than the Stark Elder had. He could see the man even now, drinking rapturously from whatever was that revelation, growing more than he was with each star that passed until he shed himself of himself entirely.

    “… For this…” An old voice. But not tired. Not anymore. “I think… I might have the strength after all.”

    Jon watched, dumbstruck, as the Prince of Winter left his body behind. Shot upwards into some new life, past stars and moons and planets like a star unto himself. Suns adrift, suns made of tree fruit, yellow moons made of old cheese. And everywhere… worlds. Big and small, dead and living, with big men and bigger men and dumb men and dumber men and a young prince with golden hair that bestrode a world all his own while chopping and uprooting baobabs under guidance by a man taller than the world was wide. Grey-haired, long-bearded and jolly-eyed, the First Flint leaned on his axe and brightened when he saw them, pointing them out to the small child and waving happily at his son who stared dumbly at him from two steps behind where Jon watched everything, completely thunderstruck.

    Jon’s heart stalled. He heard the chords of peace. He heard the drums of war. He heard pipes and trumpets. The Godswood teetered suddenly as if weighed down by the weight of the world. The sun sunk behind the edge of the sky. Its scattered beams moved and winked out as shadows took their place the more each disappeared from amidst the branches. A distant roar sounded from the far east as if screamed by an angry dragon. The warning howl of a wolf rose to meet it from beyond the edge of the world in the far North. A one-eyed raven soared watchfully high above in the pool of black water. Then, suddenly, the calls of snow shrikes snapped Jon Umber out of his stupor to find that hours had passed and the moon was out in the night sky.

    What… but… ugh… Forsooth…

    What in yon fuck just happened?

    “He didn’t leave anything behind.” Brandon Stark. Glum. Jon barely heard him despite being just a few feet away.

    “He’d already given everything out.” Marwyn the Mage. Thoughtful. Then blithe. “Chin up, Young Master. That just means he can’t be reanimated!”

    “Does it really?”

    Later, when Jon was sitting down on some big root or other that didn’t belong to the weirwood, grandfather came to him just as he was beginning to realise he should probably be worried about not remembering how he’d gotten there.

    “I’ve been informed that we will no longer practice First Night.”

    “Right.” Belatedly, Jon wondered about that raven back in Wintertown that called him a berk. “… We’re… not all that small after all, are we?”

    Grandfather didn’t reply immediately.

    Even his silence sounded old, Jon thought.

    “… We are expected to come together again at some point in the next few years, to talk about further plans. We will bring our maesters so we might streamline the land claims, legal codes, and whatnot for efficient development. This should give us time to assess their loyalty in the meanwhile.”

    “Right.” That was just good sense, Jon figured.

    “… You will remain in Winterfell when I leave.” Jon blinked, finally looking up at the old man. “You will serve the Lord Heir as his retainer. Attend to him as it pleases him. Learn anything he and the maesters deign to teach you.”

    “Oh…” Jon blinked several times, but he was fair sure he wasn’t gonna know if he was alright with that or not until tomorrow.

    “The other heirs are staying as well,” said old Lord Umber. He seemed… somehow smaller than he used to. “The Flint as well.”

    Jon looked back at Torghen and thought back to the sight of the dead Chieftain waving at him while smiling from ear to ear. “Right.”

    “... I’ve been instructed to send your father here as well.”

    Jon’s neck almost cracked from how fast he snapped his head to look back at his grandfather.

    Lord Hoarfrost Umber looked... Jon didn’t even know what to call it. No words he could think of felt remotely right. His chest tightened at the sight.

    “… I don’t have it in me to hope, lad.”

    “Oh grandpa.” Jon stood and embraced the old man.

    His grandfather hugged him back, arms going almost painfully tight around his midriff as he sunk his face in his shoulder. It was the first time ever that the man let himself lean on someone else, let alone Jon himself. “You’re a fine lad, Jon.” His voice was tight too.

    Jon huffed. “A fine lad that done and almost broke guest right,”

    “And what do you think I was about to do?”

    Jon hugged him tighter.

    “You are a good man, grandson. I know I never say it, but you are.”

    “It’s alright, grandpa. I have hope enough for both of us.”

    Jon pretended not to hear the sound that came from his grandfather at hearing him say that.

    He looked around at the various people still scattered about. The Starks had retired. The Lady Lyarra and the two littlest Starks off to bed. The lords overseeing the entombment of the Elder’s remains in the Crypts. Everyone else was still around though. They were all sitting or loitering in a general state of stunned bewilderment with the occasional haunted or teary eye. All save Torghen Flint, who’d not moved from his spot. He stood as firm as a mountain, rooted in place still staring up through the branches as if he could will the winter gloom to part and lay bare once again the starry sky.

    Jon looked up too. There was a white raven flying high above, eerily clear in the grey winter night. Then a second came up from the south and swept it in a mating dance, cheery as a bell.

    Spring dawned upon the North to the merry sight of ravens white as snow courting in the sky above Winterfell.

     
    Intermission: A Short Reach Is No State for a Hand (Marra)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
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    MARRA

    “-. 274 AC .-“​

    The clans were many. All with their own peculiarities and customs. Some recognized chieftains. Others were led by clan mothers or magnars. Some lived in peace. Others existed in a perpetual state of conflict, warring against each other and themselves. Some clans lived in small villages. Others built halls and sometimes even managed to hold them for a generation. Some still were loners that went where whim took them, held down only by their own needs. She’d met many of them these past four years. Some were fought with. Some were treated with. Some were stolen from, in food and tools and women. Some stole from them too before being driven off, or more often beaten down and absorbed by killing the men and impregnating the women. The clan had swelled in size, in men and women and children that didn’t understand each other half the time because of all the different tongues. Even so, she’d heard mutterings about old gods and cold gods and tribes that lived in a hidden valley somewhere far to the North. The men were always scornful and wary about those last ones. Almost as much as for the dwellers of the ice rivers, the dark gods of the cave dwellers, and the frozen shores at both ends of the Wall. But all of the tribes shared three deep-set beliefs: they hated the Night’s Watch, they did not kneel, and they placed immense importance on a man keeping his word once given.

    It was all one big pile of shit. A fat, stinking turd dumped by a lying sack of shit in the steaming snow.

    They claimed honor but raided in the dead of night. They kept their word but promised only ill unless beaten down first. They called themselves free folk but made wives out of kidnapped women. They claimed not to pledge allegiance to any one bloodline or kneel or suffer kings, but every other song was about lineage. Their boasts always went back to their mother, and their mother’s mother, and whichever King they were ever so surely descended from. Joramun, the Horned Lord, Raymun Redbeard, Bael the Bard.

    And then there was their law and custom…

    She remembered it as if it was happening right in front of her. Two lads with not a fight to their name arguing about some lay or song. The Game of Thrones and Kneelers, she thought it might be called. One of them talked about the heroes. The second tried to lecture the first about the heroes. A nearby man idly mused how the heroes weren’t heroes at all since they didn’t actually decide anything that happened. The first lad disagreed with the man. The second told the man to take his miserable self elsewhere if he hated the song so much. The man jokingly told the lad that people might start to worry about his wits if he misjudged other people so badly. Then proceeded to blithely explain why the boys were wrong about everything. The second lad challenged the man to a contest of wits and lost. Badly. The man waited to see if he’d be challenged to a contest of arms, but neither lad proved brave enough. The group dispersed.

    Then the first lad and a friend that hadn’t even been involved went and complained on behalf of the second lad to the Callow Bear himself. Not that they were brave enough to call Gerrick Kingsblood that to his face anymore, now that he was chieftain despite the paltry difference in age between them. They were plenty brave to twist words and speak poison into his ear though. Both of them had challenged the wise man in the past and lost. Repeatedly. And oh, how they smarted over it even now.

    So what did the great chief then do? He listened to the two and banished the man from their tribe for his ‘insult.’ Didn’t ask for his version of the story. Or even the rude boy, even though he was the only one in the mess that actually had done insult. And when the man went and asked why he was getting punished for the boys’ foolishness, and why the lad wasn’t getting the same treatment for his own insult, the great chief had his late father’s shieldmen beat him up. Told him it was too late to come ‘whining’ now, and how dare he abuse his trust? But since he whined so well, he’d give the lads a talking to and the man could come back to the tribe in a sennight. If he was still alive by then, he’d earned his place among them. Such magnanimity, so just was he the Kingsblood, isn’t it just so? Never mind that it was the middle of winter!

    She plunged into the memory. Sunk her teeth deep into it. Just like her father had told her after mother died and she spent days just a breath away from wanting to fall to pieces and join her. Get angry he’d told her. Get angry at something else. Something that made your blood boil. Not too old that you forgot how it felt. Not too new that there’s anything you can do about it. Find it. Sink your teeth into it until there’s no room in your head for anything else. It’s exhausting, but it’ll get you through the day even when you feel like jumping from a tower. And when night comes, you’ll be so tired that you’ll sleep it all away too, terrors or not.

    The law and custom of the free folk. Reward whiny fools for their lies, punish the wise for the restraint of only giving as good as they got, and then wonder why your tribe is all fools and cheats and schemers. When the only lesson you teach is that one should never hold you to your own standards because they’re a steaming pile of shit, no wonder wildlings didn’t have thrones or laws or even a strip of land between them, creatures like them weren’t fit to rule a dungheap, let alone a kingdom and if she had to smell his rancid breath and taste his tongue one more time she’d-

    A snarl. A choked gasp. A gust of cold wind put out the fire.

    Marra gasped as a great weight bowled the man and wrenched him off and out of her.

    She curled upon herself, groping blindly. For sheets, and furs, and more. The grunting snarls of beast mixed with the snarling grunts of man in the darkness. Growls and grunts and Old Tongue spat in reply and challenge all at once. The fray seemed to rampage in and out of the tent, but she hadn’t the ears for any of it. Shadows whirled viciously over the curtain walls. Man and wolf and axe and fang. She even thought she saw wings, for a moment, before they were gone like the haze of every dream she ever had except the ones that always warned her down and made her endure her captivity and humiliation for just that little bit longer. Tooth and claw and axe bit back and forth in the darkness, threatening to throw her to the ground yet again.

    The bone knife she’d secreted away bore into her raper’s neck from behind, straight through the spine.

    Gerrick Kingsblood toppled forward, dead before he hit the ground.

    The yurt grew still.

    There were screams and shouts and the clamour of weapons everywhere outside.

    Marra couldn’t care about it. She just stood there, a crude coat of fur her only shield against the cold as she stared down at the remains of the one who fancied himself the heir to Raymun Redbeard. She barely saw him in the pitch darkness, or anything else. But she could imagine him well enough after all that time. The wildling who’d ever so bravely run off with his men – and her – while his father died to her uncle and the clan champion to her father. So many times she’d wanted to knife him. Yearned for it. Planned it. Every time she’d get a dream that warned her not to. Made her feel just a little bit forbearing. Reminded her she’d be killed for murder and kinslaying and gave her the strength to take it just a little bit longer.

    Warm fur brushed against her, then cold fur speckled with grains of ice. Cold and crisp upon her skin. Hoarfrost. She thought of home, where her father was eternally exasperated at her, her uncles spoiled her, and her grandfather called her silly maid.

    She wondered why she’d ever let her dreams turn her meek at all. She’d always claimed she’d die before being taken. And she’d never lied.

    The great beast was at the mouth of the tent now. Looking at her. A sudden gust of wind blew open the tent flaps, illuminating its outline stark clear for a brief spell. It was a wolf. A wolf as big as a horse. The flaps settled back, casting it and her back into darkness.

    The wolf settled back on its haunches and stayed there, barring her only way out as the sounds of battle outside grew louder. The faint glare of moonlight on snow just barely illuminated the great beast’s outline. The top was a black shadow. The bottom glimmered white like icedust. She weighed the benefits of trying to cut and crawl under the curtain walls and flee. But having just the outline to see made it that much easier to know when a killer monster twitches in disapproval at what you’re thinking.

    The beast sat there until the chaos outside died down. Just sat there. Quietly. Even when she went and stoked the firepit for lack of anything else to do in the cold. As she piled wood, it sat there. As her shivering hands struck knife on flint, it sat there. When the sparks crackled new flame to life, still it sat there. Stared at her. Its grey eyes seemed made of quicksilver that burned like cold stars as they reflected the sparks as if the glare didn’t bother it none.

    Its pelt was strange, Marra thought as the flames took fully and gave her light to see by. Pitch black from head to spine. Snow white from tail to trunk. Split perfectly in half shoulder to haunch. The frost speckled amidst the white glimmered in the dancing light like a carpet of gemstones. The black had not a speck upon it at all.

    The yurt fell apart around her just as she was finally gathering her clothes, torn down by men she’d never seen before. They looked victorious and lustful, then startled and respectful, bowing to the great beast before backing away and leaving them be.

    It was snowing, Marra noticed distantly as she clothed and armed herself and wrapped her feet. Not for the first time she missed her boots, but they’d long since been bartered away for salt and honey. So had her dress and hair clasps and silver locket. There was nothing left to remind her of home. She watched as a large snowflake descended from the clouded sky of winter’s dusk. Landed on the wolf’s black snout. It vanished in a puff of steam between one moment and the next.

    The wolf looked away from her suddenly, baring its fags up at the treeline. Turning to follow its gaze, Marra thought she spotted something up in the balsam’s branches. She thought she saw a pair of glowing eyes on a branch up high, as big as harvest moons.

    The direwolf howled. The eyes vanished. Crows scattered and fled at the sound.

    Eventually, the fight died down. Not because the attackers fled, but because the defenders fell or knelt where they stood, throwing down their crude weapons of wood and stone and bone.

    Victorious cheers went up all around her.

    The direwolf stood and turned, pausing to gaze at her meaningfully.

    What else could she do but follow?

    She was led to the far side of camp, past tribesmen she knew and many she didn’t. Men wearing furs and wielding long spears. Some wore bone and stone and scavenged ringmail. Some walked barefoot in the freezing winter, their soles turned hard and black. A least two different tribes by their looks, and the way they clustered and carried themselves.

    Her count went up to three when she saw the rest. The ones all the others deferred to. Tall and mighty and clad in bronze. Bronze helms, bronze axes, short stabbing spears with leaf-shaped heads, bronze swords, leather shirts sewn with bronze discs and scales, and shields of black boiled leather with bronze rims and bosses.

    The wolf led her past them too, straight through a circle of men that parted ahead of them. Marra found herself in front of what used to be her late raper’s throne at the center of their winter settlement, carved from a beech stump as wide as a bear, with sconces on both sides, both filled with burning fires.

    There was a wholly different man sitting on it now.

    “So this is it, then?” His accent was thick, but he spoke in the common tongue.

    His voice was not unpleasant, Marra decided.

    The man stood from his conquered throne. He was tall and lean, garbed in bronze scale armor, bronze greaves, a bronze helm, and a weirwood spear with an ornate bronze head. There was a bronze-banded warhorn hanging off his belt. His eyes were grey, perhaps. She couldn’t tell in that light. His hair and beard, though, those she could see well. Long, rugged and almost passably groomed, colored like clearest honey.

    “I’ve come to lead a most puzzling life this past year, I’ll grant that.” The man said as he approached. “But a clan war for this is passing strange, even for me.” His words changed to Old Tongue then. “Any insight for me this time, Haggon?”

    “No more than every other time, magnar,” a tall, grim man replied. His voice was almost as rough as his hard hands. They were bunched in the fur of a much smaller wolf, grey and quiet. “Godbeasts keep their own counsel, now as they ever did.”

    “Of course they do,” the Magnar of Thenn snorted, throwing the direwolf a look of wry vexation. He turned, though, to address someone else. The banished man, Marra realized on noticing him. “Do you have any insight, exile? Speak plainly, now. I will be very displeased if it turns out to be something I should have known before.”

    “She’s the Umber’s granddaughter.”

    Marra waited to see if her heart would stop and skip. It didn’t. She’d not had a dream to warn her to be meek and long-suffering about this.

    The Magnar of Thenn turned much more interested eyes on her. “Is she really?” The man approached and grabbed her by the chin.

    She stabbed him in the hand.

    Tried, at least. He moved faster than her, grabbed her by the wrist and turned her around, clutching her to his chest from behind. One armed. Leaned down to speak right in her ear. “A middling try. Sloppy, but middling.”

    Marra bristled. “Try to steal me and I’ll rip your cock off.”

    “I take no man’s leavings.” The utter arse, how dare he!? “But you’ll be my guest all the same. We have much to talk about, my lady. You, the Godswolf and I. Much to talk about indeed.”

    It wasn’t the time or place to be reminded of that lesson, but Marra was reminded of it all the same.

    If fear didn’t work, other things could go and make her heart go stop and skip just fine.

    “-. END BOOK I .-“​
     
    Chapter II.1 - Sorry, Drama, Your Dragon’s not in this Castle Either
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member

    ============================================

    Chapter II.1: Sorry, Drama, Your Dragon’s not in this Castle Either

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    THE ONE-EYED RAVEN

    “-. Winter’s Repast .-“


    Hearken, young man! Every act is of magic. On Wish is borne Will, and by Will is born Power!

    Hearken, too, the wants of the powerless! By guile and treachery do the strong bow to the weak and cowardly!

    Hearken the wind through leaves, the rain on water, the sound of stones in a brook, the songs as pure as winter air. Know the cant that has survived the ages since the elder days, past extinction unsought and undeserved of all the races of land and mer that came before mankind. Do you know the words? Hear the sorrow? Of course not! They do not mourn for you, why should they?

    Heed instead the songs of your people! Men do not sing the songs of nature. Nature is brutal, savage, merciless, a chaos whose only balance is of killer and prey. The only peace and harmony is that of dust and corpses, and even they are moved and ripped apart sooner or later. By Wish and Will and Power did man surpass this crucible. By man’s own grace do you walk the earth while farms and villages and orchards sprout up behind you. By their blood and sweat and hopes for you did your forebears master creation and bring light and love to the world. Will you look them now askance? Why should you? Men make their own songs, and they are no slouches with rhythm!

    “Lord Stark, may I cut in?” Maester Mullin says. Heady. Frustrated. Personally offended as you continue to fall short in the arts of war. “There are a few words, I think, the Young Lord needs to heed.”

    “Heed, heed, heed!” The rascals of the deep boast about ravens talking their language, but man’s words work just fine.

    “Well that’s not a sign at all,” says you.

    Do not eye me so sorely, Brandon Stark. You, who fail to recognize my nature even now, confounded as you are by your own glory. I am not the only one half-blind. But since it wasn’t so long ago you were bisected, all for blasting the feathers off the liar that got the better of those who got the better of me, I forgive you. That oversoul you crafted for yourself out of the corpses of your enemies is a fine garment at least. A shame about what happened after, when you victoriously bestrode the sky and rashly tried to reach for the moon. Cassel burns for it even now, you know. A poor reward for heeding our visions and making his own end to stand guard from this side. What will you say of that when you face me at last, I wonder? Will you ever?

    “Very well,” says the lord to the man. “Have at him.”

    Mullin kneels down before you, takes your hands in his and speaks only the truth. “You’re being stupid.”

    “…Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Don’t you eye me so sorely either, lord. It’s your own mind I’m plying.

    “You invent crafts, create sciences, you dream whole worlds in your mind. And somehow you’ve decided this means you must be at best mediocre in the martial arts. You believe no man can be exceptional in everything, and since you are exceptional in everything but this, then it must be this you can’t possibly excel in. Isn’t that right?”

    … Caw?

    “My Lord Brandon,” Mullin tells you. “Repeat after me: I can excel in anything.”

    “… I can excel in anything.”

    “I can excel in everything.”

    “I can excel in everything.”

    “I will excel in everything.”

    “I will excel in everything.”

    … So it is not vainglory? Do your dreams and visions span so widely? Do they teach you falsehoods and untruths after all, as they do for others? Do not wallow in self-deception when the world already tries to shove so many down your throat!

    “… I can excel in everything,” you say as if it this is some wondrous revelation, you ridiculous boy!

    Sparring goes no better than before of course, but it’s not a complete disaster for your fist mock fight with someone other than your lord father. The ancients only know what you meant with that last display though.

    “There was something there,” Mullin says as you try not to collapse from pain. “A glimpse of something that might have been a maneuver. Trying to hook my blade in the guard?”

    “Go on,” you groan, holding your side. “Tell me how you really feel.”

    “So you do have visions of this as well.”

    “There’s no end to my visions,” you grouse. “Unfortunately, these visions aren’t visions where I live the visions.”

    Good grief, young man, are you trying not to make sense? At times I wish I knew what goes on in your mind, but then I remember why your forebears barred you from the Greendream and am glad to instead have my thoughts borne by your father. Alas for the headaches you’ll give him and me both when your shorthairs start sprouting.

    Mullin regards you thoughtfully. “I think, Young Lord, that it’s time I start dreaming these dreams of yours.”

    So he dreams. And learns. Masters everything you ever dreamed of armed and unarmed combat within days of each vision and creates entirely new forms of battle to wield and prove and teach to you in turn. You and everyone else. Lord Rickard of House Stark begins to lose in the yard. Then he loses more than he wins. Then he never wins against Mullin again. Neither does anyone else. Even all of them one after the other. Jon Umber is the only one with any inkling of hope, but he’s not there yet. No yet. Teams against one become a regular display once again.

    Behold, young man, this peerless warrior you’ve gathered under you. Look, as well, to all these other men and women. These maidens and mothers, these sons and fathers, these knights of the arms and of the mind. Behold your fellow heirs, even, as they all choose to follow suit awake and asleep. How many of your dreams would lie fallow without them?

    Behold, young man, the true nature of Power. Something mightier than each man alone, a combination of your efforts, a great chain of art and craft that unites you all. But it is only when you struggle for your own aspirations that the chain pulls you in the right direction. The chain is too powerful and too mysterious for anyone to guide alone. Any one ruler, any one temple, any god who tells you different either has his hand in your pocket or a dagger at your throat.

    Behold, that you don’t slip down the same slope! Do you understand the faith they place in you? The boundless breadth of their admiration? What will you do with it? Do you know what it means that even the immortal in your midst bows his head and requests your help? Of course you don’t. You’re not the only one who can deceive you, especially when the one fooling you has fooled himself so totally. Even so, he pays forward before requesting recompense.

    “His mind is as calm and open as I can make it,” Marwyn tells you while checking to make sure that his potions have well and truly taken hold. “Are you sure you wish to proceed, Young Master?”

    Ben Umber. Such a large and mighty and helpless giant of a man. What do you feel having him so utterly in your power, I wonder? What passes through your mind, to have the father and brother praying on the other side of the land, to have the other brother and the son watch while you hold in your hands their hopes and yearning and desperation?

    “Can’t be anywhere near as confusing as doing it to someone who’s dying.” Your vestment of stars and eyes unfurls around you. “Besides, putting my mind back together is the first trick I learned.”

    A trick on yourself is far different than a trick on someone else. You skirt mysteries that you still cannot grasp. Not yet. You would waste the greatest riches of your hoard and still take months to puzzle, off and on, if you succeed at all. You overstep and complicate when the solution is right in your face. You’ve bestowed the green tears upon dozens of ravens. Weaved them. Cultivated them to your purposes. Already they span the land, each a guide to dying souls to lead them on and gather their last embers in your name. By the tenth of them I didn’t even have to blend with their minds to imprint the proper concurrence and instincts. Think you that is a small achievement? Or do you worry you won’t tell the right balance, beast to man, man to beast?

    Rejoice, young man. In this, I will help you.

    Claws work the window as well as ever. A nesting raven soars after me right after. In her claws comes her oldest, strongest chick. Its mind is young. Unformed. Malleable. I plop him on the chest of the giant and wait, a small tuft of black feathers. Your face shifts in epiphany. You understand, don’t you? You stare through the chick’s eyes right at me. Do you see me? Will you confront me now? Will you balk at sacrificing one nestling when your cloak is made of the stuff of a thousand crows? Your bloodline has sacrificed that and more. Endures sacrifices worse than what even your father ever contemplated. The proof lies in your family’s greatest symbol of office. An infant’s soul vests the sword of your forebears, murdered right out the womb. I know you know. It was one of the first things you traced for imprints of history, after you stitched your mind back together right onto your spirit with threads made of hindsight.

    You don’t balk.

    Ben Umber awakens to an armful of crying son, a bursting bladder, and a ravenous hunger for corn.

    “Corn! Corn! Corn!” caws his raven half.

    Oh dear. Might have left a bit more of myself than I planned in there.

    Ah well, with how much power I’ve gained from being the bridge for so much of your sorcery, it’s only fair. Besides, it can only be to the good, I’m sure. I am, reasonably speaking, quite brilliant if I do say so myself. Besides, this way there is no room to poke around for oathbreakers.

    “You made me a birdbrain,” the big man tells you, hugging his sobbing son that’s just as big as him while his brother weeps over the both of them at his bedside. “Ben Birdbrain, that’s what they’ll call me.”

    “Pa,” Jon Umber blubbers in his father’s big, hulky bosom. “Pa. Pa!”

    “A raven’s brain is easily worth half a man’s, and they live about as long as we do.” You unravel yourself from him, holding the croaking buttress of the man’s mind in the palm of your hand. Did you leave any part of yourself as well? Did you claim any part of him? “Keep your other half safe and fed, hmm?”

    Ben Umber tears up. “My lord…”

    Rejoice, young man. You’ve prevailed over Substance by dint of Consciousness alone. Take care that you do not dismiss either of them or their sister, the Motion which begets all things of form.

    Substance, Motion and Consciousness are the principles of all, eternal and immutable and untiring all at once. Do not think you can use them against each other. Do not believe that ending one frees up the others. Think neither that vanishing one undoes the rest. Where there is no substance, there is no motion. Where there is no motion, there is no consciousness. Where there is no consciousness, there is no drive for anything to happen at all. And when two vanish, the third becomes all three unto itself.

    Remember the nature of the Three-Fold Law. Remember and understand the ripples even the slightest breath sends out, young man. Do you see them? You, who bring with you the end of the world as we know it? You are a wonder, Brandon Stark, and you have been marked for death because of it. Perhaps there are worlds and places out there, where the kind and good and right prevail in all things, but those worlds are not this one.

    You are not the hero, Brandon Stark. You are the sacrifice.

    “So I’m the sacrifice?” Luwin asks dryly.

    What’s this? Someone chanting to the tune of my thoughts without even brushing against them? A fundamental expansion of consciousness lies in the near future! Now this is a lad that may actually manage not to get himself burned to death, provided he keeps his eyes on whatever goal is actually in reach.

    “If by ‘sacrifice’ you mean chaperone for my meeting with the Young Master who still isn’t comfortable being alone in the room with me, then yes.” Tak, tak, tak goes Marwyn’s dragonsteel staff against the floor of the last stretch of corridor to your private workshop. “Look lively, now! We might have you working magic all by yourself real soon. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

    “Are you resuming my lessons then?”

    “Now that you’ve stopped badgering Qyburn about it as if you’ve no respect for my wisdom, ask me tomorrow.”

    “… I wasn’t badgering.”

    “Technicalities? Is that what you’re going for? Come now, Luwin, don’t put that much effort into trying make me think less of you.”

    Perhaps I spoke to soon.

    They reach your door. Marwyn nods to Martyn Cassel standing guard and knocks.

    “Enter!”

    They enter and you turn on your swivel chair to face them, face and voice both wry. “Time to enter the belly of the beast, is it?”

    You sound as if you expect the Cannibal to swoop down upon you, but this, at least, I will not mock. The arcane working that suffuses the man before you is a frightful thing.

    Luwin scowls. “I’m calling the guards and Lord Stark on you both unless I get an explanation.”

    “My father is right there,” you gesture at me, and I hope you know what a stretch that claim is. He barely looks in on you these days, beyond checking that you haven’t killed your mad self. Not that I mind him preferring the Motion side of things. His skinchanging predilections leave much to be desired, though I’ll readily admit I have worse things poking through the depths of my skull than rats.

    “I can’t work spells, but it’s not because I’m some sort of cripple.” Marwyn turns forthright out of nowhere all of a sudden. Why? “It’s because of a spell that’s been on me for as long as I can remember. Every scrap of power I have goes into it whenever I try to do something. Every spell other people try on me does the same sooner or later. Supposing it’s not just there to be the biggest nuisance in occult history, I have no idea what it’s supposed to do. I’ve asked, worked with and even served every last kind of priest, mummer, scholar and maegi you can name. And a fair few you can’t. Not all of them took no for an answer. And none of them found out. Most of them died or turned braindead trying. And now you know everything I know about it.”

    “And you didn’t think it was important enough to mention?” Luwin balks.

    You warily behold the man. “All those dreams I tried… Have you been eating them? How does a spell like that even happen?”

    “The best anyone got was that it was either some powerful enemy or my parents that did it. The former means there’s someone out there that can literally play got with human lives. For the latter? Only my parents would’ve had the blood claim to cast a death curse without backlash or failure. Never mind for my benefit, as far as that goes. Doubt it really works that way. It’s probably something stupid.”

    Your back and forth would make a most distinguished play, but I’m going to spare you my attention for the duration because that’s just absurd! I’ve seen no spell of protection a tenth as powerful as this, let alone so versatile, and that’s nowhere near its purpose at all. At best it looks like a craft cast with a shortfall of fuel that’s been gobbling up whatever it can find as substitute in an attempt to complete itself ever since. Who would have the knowledge and lifetime of experience to devise such a spell? What kind of act could empower someone, anyone, to cast… whatever this is? Make it last a lifetime and more even? On another. It is the most pervasive, gluttonous, powerful working I’ve seen since I last saw my corpse!

    “I suppose I’ll go first then,” Luwin offers.

    The wisps of my consciousness hasten to realign. I wavered, somehow. I… lost time. What distracted me? Does a break in consciousness also lie in the near future? Whose?

    “Don’t pretend you’re not eager,” Marwyn huffs. His pupils are blown wide by work of draughts. The only way to glimpse the ether for those whose third eye fails them. Have you any idea what happened to him, Brandon Stark? Do you know who he is, to be so old in a body so young? Do you know how he lives so spiritedly despite all that? I don’t. And for that matter, what will it take for Luwin to stop being such a grumpy little whippersnapper? The Lady Lyarra told him to his face he didn’t deserve the mistrust she feels towards him, but she already apologised!

    Treat him gently now, young man. To eyes as old as mine, even the freshest things seem dull. Not this, though. Whatever you mean to do from here, I will not interfere. This path you’re treading is still new to me.

    Luwin waits impatiently. “Is anything supposed to happ-“ his words stall. He didn’t see you walk out of your body and stick your hands inside his skull, but he sees you now. What are you doing with that ghost of a dead man between your palms – oh! The pinecone! So that’s what you’re after! Coax and nourish his mind’s eye! Don’t blame me for being surprised, hardly anyone thinks to do it despite all common sense. There is no part of man that can affect the world without being consciously and constantly exerted, why would the brain be different? Why wouldn't there be a mechanism there that needs deliberate and conscious use before it can grow and span the other four parts of your mind? Is that what you did to heal yourself? Coax your third eye to quicken and sprout and open your mind to the sights beyond the veils of substance? Did you coax it all the way to growing out its roots and branches? Is that what you mean to do here too?

    Oh. You don’t. You’re just… letting Luwin do what he wants.

    What will you think on the day your magnanimity leaves you dispossessed? Or kills you?

    You have no idea what I’m even talking about, do you?

    “Oh,” Luwin breathes, staring wide-eyed at you without seeing you. “So this is what Qyburn meant.” You pull away and the glimmer of soul settles. Melds into Luwin as if it was always a part of him, then comes free and sets to roaming here and there, guided by the lad’s will. “I… I never… I’m a fool, doubting him for having had visions when I…” His new eye comes to a stop inside his hand. Luwin stares down, past skin and sinew to the spaces between the threads and motes making up flesh. Sees the world of the small and smaller, glimpsing even the smallest specks of substance for a heartbeat. He sinks to the ground, losing all notion of his surroundings, completely entranced by the play of little creatures that are too small to see.

    Good instincts! Familiars have always been the quickest path to occult power.

    Marwyn shakes his head in bemusement. “All that and he just goes back to what he was already doing, only with a new tool. I‘m not even surprised.”

    Luwin clenches and unclenches his hand without registering his surroundings, bringing his familiar in and out of his body. Already testing to see how far he can send it beyond his ghost. Good instincts indeed!

    “Now if only I could trust he won’t start leaping without thinking for the big things.” Marwyn sighs. “Then again, I’m about to make a leap myself. If it pleases you, Young Master, I’m ready. Don’t worry about me or my feelings. Be as rough as you need.”

    He speaks so mildly despite being so hopeful. Even as opaque as he is to the ethereal, his longing is plain as day to the normal senses of man and raven alike. What torture it must be, to live a lifetime with your greatest goal always taunting you just out of reach.

    The spell eats the first green tear. Then the next one. Then eight more all at once almost the moment you muster them. No attempt to cut through the spellcraft avails you. Ten treasures given by your forebears in the Greendream for ten souls of faithful men. Ten whole souls scoured by time and torpor into clean and biddable chunks of power fully under your will. They barely make contact with the thaumaturgy before they break and melt into its cloudiness. You did well this whole time to shy away from the man. Were you to overlay him as you did all the others, he would have drained you dry even without that wound of yours. Won’t you back away now? Won’t you reconsider your path? Or will you go higher? Think you to overwhelm the spell with sheer quantity? Perhaps you mean to feed it enough that it finally runs its course, whatever its task? You-

    The colors of the world sharpen, and sounds shy away as the ultimate force manifests in your grasp. The quintessence of an ascended spirit that left behind his mighty soul, fully perfected and outgrown.

    “I still can’t believe it,” Marwyn whispers, awestruck. “What you’re holding. Do you have any idea what wonders that could make?”

    The First Flint. He left his everything to you. Everything he’d been and could have been. I still don’t know how you did it. What is there in your mind that lets people achieve the apex of their being and pass beyond the heavens? What secrets do you hold that aren’t enough for you to do the same? What all don’t you know, boy? That you don’t seem to know what can be done with such a thing? You could make wonders! You could vest heroes! You could have used it to make your namesake young again! You could become-are you using it as a battering ram DON’T-!

    ▃▃▄▄▅▅▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅


    “-ah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!” Marwyn the Mage laughs hysterically, laid out on his side on the floor. “B-born amid sm-hoke and salt under a-a bleeding stahahahahaha!” His guffaws shake the world that aches in a haze of crow feathers scattered everywhere with their eyes ripped out. “My red moon beats your bleeding star! The smoke and salt have come and gone! Where are my stone dragons!?”

    Agh… what… I… I lost time, what-?

    “Portents and prophecy! Portents and prophecy!” The Ibbenese mariner laughs all over again, why does the world feel like it got torn apart and scattered? “If no dragons of stone, what of my sword? In ancient books of Asshai it is written that there will come a day when the stars bleed and the cold breath of darkness falls heavy on the world. In this dread hour a warrior shall draw from the fire a burning sword. And that sword shall be Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes, and he who clasps it shall be Azor Ahai come again, and the darkness shall flee before him!”

    I… I was… I was wrong! Ware! Ware, Winter King! Your son is in peril! It’s not a good man cursed by evil! It’s evil sealed for the sake of the good, set loose! Ware! Your son is in peril and I’m impotent! A threadbare wisp floundering in naked air above where a raven lies dead in the corner. Wake up Luwin! Where is Martyn!? Wasn’t he right outside? Was he knocked senseless as well? Stand up, Brandon Stark! Stand up, stand up! Damn you, boy, what will it take before you can hear me!? When you grew all those extra eyes, you couldn’t have grown a few ears too!?

    The immortal mage pushes off the floor. Rises in terrible majesty. He is bare for everyone with even the barest of second sight to see. The spell on him is gone. The spell that kept his knowledge of self and all his dark crafts locked away. The spell that had suppressed him. The spell that had kept his third eye shut. It shines glittering red at the core of his brow, now, like a blood moon reflected on the deep ocean. Bright. Bloody. Fed by myriad channels spread through his whole body. They pull and gather every scrap of vigor that would otherwise be wasted in his idleness, like the roots of a tree grown deep as weirwood over the course of his life. And everywhere… wisps and quills and eyes. Yours. Eyes of blue and white fire. They hang haphazardly off his nimbus, like tired sea birds trapped in the rigging of a ship. They melt and sink and add to his power even as I watch.

    You were right to fear, boy! He’s done it! It’s happened! He absorbs the strength of others like only one with lifetimes of experience glutting on blood sacrifice can! Run! You’re going to be eaten! Run! Run before he finishes the job!

    The man holds out a hand. His staff of dragonsteel flies into his hand, though he doesn’t lean on it at all. He stands. Short and broad and firm as an island in a sea of storms. His head hangs back. His eyes are closed. His face is wrought with a tight, frightful grimness.

    Then it just… melts away.

    Marwyn turns, stomps towards you –

    “Wha-GUARDS!”

    - goes to his knees, lays the rod at your feet and raises his folded hands just as the door slams open.

    It is not Cassel. It is three others, led by himself Lord Stark.

    “What in all the gods’ forgotten names is going on here!?”

    Marwyn keeps his head bowed and waits.

    … I have no idea what is happening.

    You struggle to your feet. Barely manage even with the help of your father, who wears that mien of ice he only musters when he’s absolutely terrified for you. You’ve been stripped bare as well. Your feathered cloak hangs in tatters. Barely a dozen eyes still hang limply around you. No tears of green or souls of self-fulfilment are left to shine their light upon the world. The strap of souls around your chest is completely gone.

    “You have no idea what you just did.” Marwyn says, and lifts his head. Looks up at you with earnest eyes of deep, soulful purpose. “For as long as you live, use me whatever way you wish.”

    Lord Stark stares. The guards stare. You stare, terrified and traumatised and completely dumbfounded.

    Then you laugh in his face.

    “The day I believe a pledge like that is the day you come up to me in the middle of court and ask me to take you as my pet!”


    “-. The Vernal Snowmelt .-“

    4xLGSPa.jpg

    Fie, young man, your insults land even better than your praise! Almost as well as the people who dropped insensate all over Winterfell, when you went and used the penultimate manifestation of occult Power as a club to Marwyn’s head.

    If that’s even his name.

    “Master Marwyn!” Luwyn rushes into the Archmaester’s Quarters, just barely refurbished in the Drum Keep. “Master! You’re really leaving? You can’t!”

    Because the open door and the guards keeping a gimlet eye on the man were not enough clue, for all the good they can do.

    The wizard finishes wiping the blood off the glass candle, now turned from black to green. “Shouldn’t you be still abed?” He takes a large dollop of summerstone mix from a bucket and starts turning it over in his palms, heating it molten hot. It doesn’t even singe his hands. “You were rather close when it happened.”

    “You can’t go! You did nothing wrong!”

    “Oh lad, that’s not why I’m leaving.” The man sets the life-like carrack of marble-smooth, fused grey stone on the table and sinks his hands in a wash basin. It comes out trailing a large blob of boiling pulp, winterstone-to-be that flows like water. “I’ve prepared in advance a reading list and exercises to work your new magical appendage. And got Hother to oversee the building of my distilleries. I also prepared cross-training plans for all of you boys before I arranged the meeting, just in case.”

    Luwin almost can’t tear his eyes away from the magic in front of him. Almost. “I don’t care about that! First the Conclave and now this! There’s no justice in this! What happened? I don’t understand…”

    “Do you know what nine in ten maegi do on achieving power?” The winterstone swims around and through his fingers in the shape of a merling. “They become hermits. Out of fear. Seekers of the Mysteries are ever so wary of sharing anything with others. Teaching others or granting them power. What if they turn on them? Never mind that they almost all end up destroying themselves without any help.”

    “So what? You’re going traveling so you can’t be accused of the same? How is living here being a hermit? Aren’t the ones who go off wandering called the hermits?”

    “Now you’re just being silly. You think I didn’t stand out like a sore thumb everywhere I travelled that had anyone with a scrap of the sight? What if I said it was a training journey? Do you know what happened to all the mighty who got their hands on me? They tried to plunder me for secrets only to get sucked dry while I plundered them. I may not have been able to cast spells, but in dreams I am mighty. I’ve always been mighty. And now I know why.”

    “Well I don’t know!”

    “Up until this morning, my earliest memory was of growing up among salt miners down in the Reach Upplands.”

    “… and now?”

    The door shuts in the guards’ faces. A gesture renders the air just outside completely still, locking all sound within. Your father’s mind overlays mine just in time.

    “I am Asmundur Magnus Olafur, By Grace of My Forebears, of the Dominion of Ibben and all its Territories Sovereign, Master of Ports, Mariner Admiral of the Shivering Sea, God-King of Ib, Lord of Oceans.”

    … what.

    “The spell on me wasn’t so much a spell as a botch job of three.” The merling shifts to the shape of your lady mother sat on a chair of pure crystal and freezes solid. A spark of arcane jumps from the Mage’s fingertips into the figurine, locking its substance firm as steel. He puts the colored ice sculpture on the main deck of the ship. “Individually, they were each a masterwork. I’d performed each of them at least half a dozen times before. Sacrifice the soul of my newborn son to sew the babe’s substance and ether into a strong foundation for power transference. Sacrifice myself to jump my soul into the son now that there’s no mind left to make the fit awkward. Sacrifice the mother on her bed of blood to power a glamour strong enough to make everyone forget I exist. Especially the minions of the Shadow Council, who wouldn’t let me live in peace to plot my wrathful return to power. All done atop a big, fat pyre in the middle of a salt quarry, while a gap in the hill above casts forth the light of the red moon on high. Born amid smoke and salt under a bleeding star. There’s never a shortage of people looking to make a saviour. I just took it further and tried to become the saviour too, never mind comets. Alas, the glamour had already taken by the time I jumped bodies, so it made me forget I exist too. Add a few unintended consequences from the long-term interaction of those magics, and here we are.”

    …Alright.

    I did not see this coming at all.

    Marwyn eyes Luwin shrewdly. “Don’t you start worrying that I’m losing myself to memories, no matter how despicable or long a time they span. Consciousness arises from the physical mind, not the other way around.”

    “Maester… Master Marwyn, you… what does that mean?”

    “I am my father. And my father’s father. And my father’s father’s father. And their fathers before them. All the way back to the time when God-Kings still ruled Ibben, back in the Valyrian Freehold’s waning years.” Marwyn picks up his archmaester’s mask and beholds it intently. The dragonsteel shimmers with heat, for a moment. He smirks. “Not quite there yet, but soon.”

    … This is starting to look far too much like some contingency of certain almighty idiots that can’t help themselves from adding too many moving parts. Just what exactly did whoever’s so-called fate mean to do with him? Before you kicked it in the shin with the force of the end of the world as we know it?

    Luwin stares with something between fascination and horror. Then his face clears. “Oh! I get it. You’re just fucking with me, aren’t you?”

    “If it pleases you to think so. Feel free to call me Marwyn regardless. In fact, I insist upon it.”

    Luwin gapes in disbelief, then readjusts course with the alacrity of all young men terrified of abandonment. “I’m coming with you.”

    “No.” Marwyn smiles fondly at him. “You’re needed here. You swore an oath. Besides, you think I won’t come back? Of course I will! I’ll need to be here to help the young master once he starts the dreams.”

    “Say what now? What dreams?”

    What he said.

    “A boy like that with not one shorthair to his name, living the lives of hundreds of people of all size, age and persuasion in their last moments? You’re mad if you think that won’t have consequences. It’ll be my job and yours to catch him early and see him through becoming only a little deviant instead of a lot. Or maybe a lot deviant so he always has palatable options amidst the dross. There’s a certain time window involved. I won’t miss it, and you won’t either.”

    Ohhh, those dreams.

    ...I am not alone! Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! You hear that, boy? Even mad hermits from the arse-end of the Shivering Sea can see it coming a hundred leagues away! Vindication!

    “But...” Luwin is not feeling any vindication, poor boy. “But then why leave at all?”

    “I had the gall to assume I’d get by without proof of commitment! Making big claims like that, honestly, what was I thinking? That he’d just believe me? After what all led to it too. I’m honestly shocked he bothered taking offense on my own behalf as much as he did. ‘Relationships based on extreme circumstances don’t work out.’ Bah! What does he think I am, a callow youth unsure of my convictions? Ah, but I should have seen it coming. I came north expecting a devil. Instead I found a lad who wants to save his mother and make his father proud. A creature of great power come down from the stars, and what does he do with it? Loves his parents. Loves his siblings. Upends everything known about medicine to save his mother’s life. Finds out his father once planned to murder him and demands hugs in tribute. Gets attacked by the forces of treachery and wears their eyes as cloaks in revenge. Then takes steps to prevent further injury, among which happens to be making blood magic worthless. And did I mention that his way of remaking the world in his image boils down to making rich men out of everyone he meets? Yes, the nerve of him to demand proof and guarantees that I’m not merely blowing smoke!”

    If only you were here now, young man. Do you know how totally he saw you in that moment? Do you understand what danger you’d have been in if it were anyone else? Do you see how little it takes for even the mightiest of men to go down on their knees? Do you see how broken this world is?

    Luwin can’t. He clenches his fists. “I still don’t understand.”

    “If my meaning still isn’t clear, think back to your studies. It’s not been long enough for you to have forgotten equivalent exchange, at least.”

    “… He gave you everything,” Luwin murmured. “And so you offered everything.”

    You did. He did. But no. That’s not all of it.

    “But…” Luwin bites his lip. “But he refused.”

    “And you think that settles it? The world doesn’t work like that and neither do I. Not anymore.”

    Would you see his true meaning if you were here, Brandon Stark? Would you have the eyes to see? The ears to hear?

    It’s only when Marwyn is done packing for the road and he is carefully spellcrafting the last figurine of a leaping whale with a doting smile that Luwin finally realises it. “…You love him.”

    “I do.”

    He loves you, boy. He really does.

    Marwyn plops the pint-sized Benjen on the white whale’s back. “Is that so surprising? Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I could feel something so pure? I get off on power, Luwin, not on little boys. And not on weakness either. Not mine. Certainly not his. Ah, but it will hardly last. The ability to quickly stockpile massive amounts of power, let alone do so cleanly… It’s a prize as precious as seeds from Garth Greenhand’s sack of plenty or Rowan Gold-Tree’s apples of gold. It is very good I got here first. The envy it could generate is dangerous. The predators it can lure are even more dangerous. Do not share what you've seen, Luwin. Do not share what you learn. We've found the limits of his ability to protect himself. As they currently are, they’re not enough. Not even close.”

    His father and I are doing our best, but they really aren’t.

    “I love you too Luwin.” Marwyn takes the lad by the shoulders, ignoring his reaction to the words. “Not that I’m worried you’ll act the jealous son, seeing as you’ve got your real father just over there in yonder townhouse, but it beats resentment, eh?”

    The God-King of Ib departs Winterfell to much wary suspicion and not a shred of pomp. At least the Lady likes the baubles tough, and promises to gift them to you when your twelfth name day comes. Not that you’ll hold ownership for long once the littler ones spot the things, but at least these won’t shatter at the shortest drop like all the other ones.

    That they’re infinitely superior to every other gift you’ll receive on your name day is the sort of way to make a point I can approve of as well.

    “They’re not cursed, I hope you know,” says the Immortal when I try to trail him without a living thing to bear me hence. Barely a wisp of an echo on the wind, that’s all I am, and still he looks right at me. “You’ll keep on keeping on while I’m gone, won’t you One Eye? I’ll help carry your burden once I come back.”

    It will only divert malcontents to softer targets.

    “True. But then, there is such a thing as glamors.” Marwyn fiddles with the tooth around his neck, and suddenly there’s just some random thug lumbering his way down the road. “Hey ho, Hey ho, prepare tribute I go! Maybe start off with some nice man-made wonders. Keep an eye out while I’m gone, old boy!”

    As if I ever do anything else. I try at times to break off from your father and take a break around the others. Osrick and Rodrik serve for the occasional respite, but I can’t connect to them like direct line kin, and they’re as ethereally inert as people come. I yearn for the respite of oblivion, but It’s dangerous to lie mindless too long like I do when I let my mind be borne by theirs. Your mother would be helpful, if she didn’t constantly fret over you or Little Benjen, who’s always trailing after you both awake and asleep. And the less said about what made the other side scramble to give Lyanna minders all of her own, the better.

    Oh woe is me, who can save me now? I need a hero, but the Age of Heroes is long gone! See here, young man, how low you’ve brought me! Oh, if only Ned suddenly emerged climbing up yonder slope! Help me, Eddard son of Rickard, you’re my only hope!

    He can’t, of course. He’s too busy breaking the way of life of an entirely different kingdom, far away. Also, he doesn’t know I exist.

    And so I’m borne forth by your father, whose thoughts are never far from you. So I keep an eye out. While you go flying to replenish your power, for all that you barely know what to do with it. While things are good. While things turn tragic and you’re far away from home. Away on a trip with your father to the Last Hearth, so the Umbers can attend to their father and grandfather in his last days. It is a harsh thing, humanity, to make your heart unable to bear joy in your twilight years. Still, he is a strong and content man, the Hoarfrost. Lasts long enough to see his firstborn son whole and healthy in mind before the end takes him. And when he passes and you take his hand, he goes up instead of down and leaves you with a treasure to match the greatest one you lost so gracelessly.

    Almost as gracelessly as Ben Umber’s stumbling failure to swear fealty afterwards.

    “I’m sorry, Lord Stark, I can’t. I mean I could, but I can’t-I don’t…” The giant of a man looks shamefully down at the floor of his solar, stuck between bending the knee and folding his hands. “I can’t do it. If it’s you, I’d be lying.”

    Rickard looks down at the man in disbelief. “What do you mean you can’t?”

    “It-It’s just…” Ben Umber sneaks a look from him to you and drops his head in embarrassment.

    Rickard Stark closes his eyes in realisation. “You can swear to my House but not me.”

    “I’m sorry, My Lord.”

    Rickard facepalms and looks at you with exasperation you entirely deserve and then some. “You just can’t help yourself can you, son? You’re determined to find increasingly ridiculous ways to steal my people’s loyalty from under me.” I despair of you boy, and so does your poor father. “Oh, just get it over with you two.”

    I had given up hope of ever seeing that look on your face, lad, but no. You didn’t magic away poor Ben’s good sense. He dumped it down a well like an unwanted bastard a long time ago.

    You take the man’s huge hands in yours. Ben Umber goes from one knee to both. He swears to you with his father’s same words, smiling sheepishly all the while.

    “Then for your first order: always serve my father as if he were me.”

    “Aye, my lord.”

    “Promise me, Ben.”

    “I promise.”

    “And for your second: come here and let me give you a hug, ridiculous man.”

    You have the nerve to call others ridiculous!?

    But Ben Umber just laughs and obeys gladly.

    You and your hugs, boy. If only they weren't so ridiculously effective. If only I’d known they could achieve so much when I was still alive. Do you know what it means that he's so big he can’t bend low enough to put his head below yours without failing your order? Can you tell what it means that he still stoops to wrap his arms around your waist instead of your shoulders? What it means that it's not him engulfing you in those arms so thick that you could disappear inside them? Can you tell what it means that he lets himself be enfolded instead of the opposite? Will he keep to that devotion when you lose childhood’s unthreatening innocence? Will he still be so biddable then?

    Oh well. If nothing else, you return to Winterfell in good spirits, your powers replenished and armed with a vassal house all of your own, even if only the three of you know it.

    If only I could claim similar success on my end, but I can’t. All my hopes that Luwin might miraculously turn out to be a natural mage capable of maybe slowing down the God-King if he ever turns on us are in vain. He’s too busy studying germs to be bothered by any but the most unexpected news.

    Mullin, freshly returned from your journey up north, plops down next to him on the bench. “I’m getting married.”

    Luwin stops scribbling and blinks up at him owlishly. “Say what now?”

    “Clara Poole, you know her? The steward’s sister? Seems I’ll be courting her and marrying into the family in a month if it goes well.”

    “What? Why?” Sometimes Luwin is a bit too much like you, lad. “I mean, I didn’t know you were looking?”

    “I wasn’t.”

    Luwin blinks at the man, taken aback by his strange befuddlement. “Then why?”

    “I’m going to be Master-At-Arms,” Mullin says, as if that should be a surprise to anyone. “So I have to become part of the household. Lord Stark’s orders.”

    “Oh. Well… that’s good news?”

    A piece of news to go with the other news which you, Brandon Stark, do not welcome with anything approaching grace.

    “What!” You squawk for everyone to witness. Including all of the heirs training around you in the yard. Which is all of them, from Torghen Flint trouncing Ryswell and Tallhart at once, to Wyman Manderly panting uselessly and sweating like a pig on the bench in the corner. “Dad, you promised!”

    “And I’ve kept my promise,” says your lord father, as if he should be explaining himself to you. In public! “I’ve reached the limit of what I can bring myself to do in your training.”

    “What’s that supposed to mean?”

    “You’re starting full-contact sparring. I’ve thought long and hard and decided I can’t do that with you.”

    “Why?”

    “The thought I might hurt you even by accident makes me sick to my stomach.”

    “… Oh dad.”

    You and your hugs, boy. You and your hugs! Don’t think your father hasn’t built up any resistance to them by now! He always considers how best to handle you. No matter how much he likes you, he loves you so much more it doesn’t measure up. Too much to indulge you on anything that doesn’t suit his judgment. He, at least, chants the proper tune to my thoughts and always prepares ahead of time. The best he can, at least, for when you next try to upend the world only to be smacked in the face with the force of reality.

    Yes, I am indeed talking about the dreams. There’s a reason your growth spurt strikes so hard when it comes. There’s a reason aware dreaming and flying becomes so much harder right after. There’s a reason you’ve already gone through your entire smallclothes supply when you barge in on your parents in the early hours of the morning.

    “Mom! Dad! We have a problem!”

    “You’re a pillow biter.”

    “What!? NO!” So much for being prepared thanks to the washerwomen reporting on your auspicious touchstone, but I can hardly blame the man when he barely managed to cover your mother and- “Are you crazy? I’m barely a week into my awkward stage! There’s literally no way that this can’t go crazy! Put weird ideas in my head and they may just happen. Except they won’t! I have very exacting standards of relationship dynamics! Don’t give me any notions unless you want them flipped on their head! Do you want the Umbers bent in half in a line over the dinner table? Can you imagine the looks on their faces? Because all else being equal, that’s what would happen! Speaking of which.” What did just-Was that just-? Did you just-? What did you-ARE YOU UNDRESSING YOUR MOTHER WITH YOUR EYES!? “Oh thank heavens!” The heavens have nothing to do with whatever goes on in that preposterous mind, you outrageous child! Oh, you’re falling down on your arse now? “I’m not lusting after my own mother! Freud and Yung and all the other degenerates continue to be completely full of shit even entire worlds away. Thank every god and whatever grifters spawned them! But we still have a problem! A big problem! I’m getting dreams! Wet dreams! Wet dreams all about matronly married women.”

    … I give up. It is hopeless. There is nothing that can be done for you.

    Rickard Stark bursts out laughing.

    “Brandon.” Lyarra Stark says coldly, all joy and woe fully forgotten, never mind everything that happened in the past three years. “Get out.”

    “Right, go ahead and punish me for coming to you first like dad told me.”

    Brandon.”

    “I’m still getting my morning hugs, right?”

    “OUT!”

    You couldn’t just let that pillow hit you, could you? You couldn’t concede even that small defeat before you bravely ran away.

    I wish I could share in the mirth, but heavy matters have been on my mind since well before the last night fell.

    Someone has come and infiltrated Winterfell.

    “Someone was in the castle smithy at some point,” Rickard says grimly after reading the reports of everyone set out to check on all your scouting. And his. And mine. “There is a mule in the stables that wasn’t there this morning. The dogs were fed even though the kitchen wench supposed to feed them never stopped by. And then there’s Nolla.” One of the first comers from down in the Riverlands that came up with her family to answer Rickard’s call. Ever so eager to learn under the maesters. Even earned a spot on the keep staff to pay her way. One of your launderers, boy. You remember her, I see. “She was found behind the blast furnace where her brother had taken to working.”

    Yes. Found. By me. Missing her head.

    “Happy birthday to me.” You grumble, boy, but in this you are right to.

    Strange how long ago the last dark times now feel. This tense atmosphere promises nothing good for the foreseeable future. The dark mood doesn’t get any better throughout the long hours, especially for the last day before your thirteenth name day celebrations. I’m still amazed, though, that you like it so much when you father has you attend him during court up next to his high throne. Don’t you want to be out playing with your siblings and the other children? You’re almost out of time you know, now that you’re growing so quickly. Do you know how many share my thoughts on this? Do you know how many among the petitioners? That all the heirs of the great houses, attending you off and on, worry you don’t take enough time to yourself?

    Speaking of all these people, why are they all-?

    The mass of people parts as a mighty glamor drops right outside the doors.

    … By Garth Greenhand’s corpse that lies beneath the Shadow undying, what was that!?

    Marwyn the Mage marches through the gates of the Great Hall of Winterfell, his massive bulk clad in a set of armor made of that dark, smoky metal that’s unmistakeable. Other than his hands which he’s left free, there’s not a spot below the man’s chin that isn’t covered in at least an inch of the heavy material. Pauldrons, brassarts, vambraces, cuirass, even a long, segmented kilt in place of faulds that reach all the way to just below the knee guards of the greaves. Overlaying it is a vast black coat, made from the skin of what had to have been the largest seal the north has ever seen, its collar mottled with crow feathers. Crow feathers like the ones you made your father’s men collect when you made your first statement of claim. And… And his hair. Forget the bristly white sprouting from his ears and nostrils. They are just props for a veritably opulent mane. Wiry bristles frame his face all the way to the ears. Tufted eyebrows sail up into the air above his sea-green eyes, like white ash from a pyre. Bushy whiskers capped with steel stick up like boar tusks. They all mix down into a coat of white, like salt crushed and dusted over a full beard and head of hair that almost reaches his belt, coarse and thick and kissed by fire like a beacon in full spate.

    A bucket of summerstone mix is in his right hand. One of winterstone in his left hand. The kitchen wench hangs under his right arm, senseless. A dead man hangs under his left, his feet dragging across the floor in his wake. And across his right shoulder hangs a long, thin case of fused black stone, with two more buckets hanging by both ends perfectly balanced, both covered with lids perfectly fitted.

    Marwyn stops short of the foot of the high rise, puts down the first two buckets and dumps the living body. “The kitchen wench. Took this other one’s coin to steal the keys to the keep tonight.” He dumps the dead body front-side up. It’s of a man, but it has Nolla’s face. “A Faceless Man of Braavos, come to look into things at no one’s behest. Caught him as he was skinning the girl down at the furnaces. Killed himself right proper too. Not before I got what little was worth out of his brain though.” He hauls the buckets further a few steps and gets to unloading everything as if there isn’t anything that has to be digested or done about what just happened. Boy, what have you done? I know you did something. It’s spreading! This madness has your name written all over it!

    You are right to stare, though. Those buckets each have more of his power and will in them than is left anywhere in himself.

    Marwyn kneels between his four vats. He lays the black case on the floor before him, not looking up at you or your father. “Oaths and the like are done with a weapon offered up, I understand. Hope you don’t mind if I take a moment to rustle up mine right quick.” The summerstone mixture comes together in a blob at his touch. Rises up after it like a roll of dough, thick and viscous. With just a few deft movements he stretches it into a long rod that suddenly catches fire. He sticks a long, thin strip of steel down one end, then lays it sideways over the lid of the bucket and lets it burn. He reaches into the other vat. The winterstone-to-be rises just like its summer sister, water and weirwood essence rippling milky white. He pinches it and pulls at it, slowly extending it into a blade as long as he is wide. Then further. When he stops, it looks alive in the sunlight coming through the windows. Translucent. A shard of crystal so thin that it seems almost to vanish when seen edge-on. He lays it flat over the lip of the vat. The crystal on steel makes a tinkling whistle that doesn’t go away.

    I know that glow. That faint blue shimmer. That ghost-light that plays around its edges, sharper than any razor. I saw it in my ancient dreams, back when I still lived. He couldn’t have…

    Marwyn reaches under his cloak, into the satchel at his side, next to the gauntlets strapped to his belt. From it he pulls tools one after another and sets them on the case in front of him. He leaves a wide space in the middle though, where he picks and drops the third bucket. He lifts the lid - such heat! What is – his melting foundry! So he didn’t enchant the bucket just to leave me blinder than I already am. It’s hotter than the blast furnaces down in the Kyln!

    The Mage pulls off his ring of valyrian steel and drops it inside. He waits a few heartbeats. His heartbeats. I can see them – do you see them thumping lad? In his chest and in the foundry, perfectly matched. Do you see how much of him burns? How dimmer he becomes as...

    The fire to his right goes out, leaving a long rod of smooth black stone that he picks up and out of the grooves melted into the rim of the bucket. He upends it. Molten steel pours out of the end until nothing of the strip he put in there is left. Then he sinks the same end into the foundry and stirs, then pulls it out. The wad of dragonsteel follows, stuck to it like glue glowing white hot. He blows on it, uses his tools to hollow and mould it like clay it into a fastener, then reaches for the crystal blade just as the shrieking of freezing metal becomes too loud to ignore.

    The bucket crumbles to pieces. The sound of frostbitten, brittle metal is like the cracking of ice on a winter lake. I was not mad to think back to those dreams. He’s the madman.

    Marwyn inserts the blade into the channel and carefully sews a filament of the molten magesteel through the black rod and middle of the crystal blade. From there, it’s just a few more tugs and taps of his instruments and the work is complete.

    The Mage sets the sword staff on the floor with an air of historic finality not lost on anyone in the chamber.

    “Fused blackstone.” Marwyn the Mage finally speaks while he knocks on the pole, still not looking up. “We don’t have dragons to make roads or walls out of it, but the mix is good enough to last thousands of years even without burning it up. Gets stronger over time too, if you do it right. It’s the same as summerstone really, just with some swapped ingredients. My compliments for coming up with it. Never would’ve pieced the rest together without it.” He taps the blade with his fingertips. Briefly. “Hope you’ll forgive me if I went with vanity over practicality for the rest.”

    Vanity? Vanity!? Does he expect us to believe he doesn’t know full well what-

    Marwn sticks a hand into the last bucket. It comes out holding a large ball of ash bigger than his head.

    Then he brings it between both hands and somehow crushes it until it disappears between his palms, not a stray speck in sight.

    For the next, five long minutes, the Great Hall of Winterfell is witness to the crackle, grind and screeching of molten, crushed rock.

    I can feel your disbelief, Brandon Stark, even over your father’s increasingly awestruck bewilderment. I can feel it, and I tell you, you don’t feel about this nearly strongly enough. Look at them, all these people. They are impressed. Awestruck. Amazed. They don’t even notice the dead bodies laid out in front of them anymore. All that and they still do not understand. They don’t see. They don’t know how far he goes. How much power he spends. How much it leaves him lessened with every grip and scratch and burst of spellfire. They don’t see the apology. They don’t see the taunt. They don’t hear his message. His message as plain as his sheer gall.

    It’s all for you, or not at all.

    He really loves you, boy. Do you see it?

    I don’t suppose you know just what he’s doing though? What is that murky grey lump? A geode? Mighty lot effort for such an ugly-

    The crystal edge cuts into the stone. Then again. And again and again and twenty more times and no, that can’t be.

    Marwyn the Mage holds up the gem to study in the light. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it. But it’s there right in front of me. In front of everyone. A clear, round diamond, perfectly cut. It glitters and sparkles in the afternoon light.

    Marwyn hauls the foundry aside and sweeps the black case clean. There’s not a scratch on it. “I hope you’ll forgive me for not making a show of the whole thing.” The case is finally unclasped. “But it would’ve taken far too long, and it doesn’t do to deliver half-finished gifts. I hope you like the last touch though.”

    The colors of the world sharpen, and sounds shy away as the ultimate force manifests in his grasp. The quintessence of an ascended spirit that left behind his mighty soul, fully perfected and outgrown.

    The Flint… The Flint! He didn’t eat it! He kept it… And now it settles so cosily in the gemstone. And the diamond settles so neatly in the guard. The sword. It’s so bright. So beautiful… Not a drop of blood spilled in murder to make them, not even from the corpse over there on the floor. So… so… And like the working that the Mage himself had lived so long under, it’s not even finished. Like a seedling just starting to lay roots and sprout into a wonder of… of…

    The pommel is a gleaming orb as pure as starlight. The cross guard is rippling steel as clear a still pond. The diamond’s fitting grows out of the unbroken whole. It fastens the gemstone like the morning star’s pinions. The handle is pure dragonbone, smooth and black as midnight. The ironwood scabbard looks beggarly next to it, but perhaps it’s fitting of a veil whose role is ever only transitory. It slides off the blade as you descend the steps, like night passing to dawn. The blade is white as snow, finished to a shine so fine that even the inscription on the groove looks like a mirror.

    ᛁ ᚨᛗ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛚᛟᛞᛖᛋᛏᚨᚱ, ᛒᚤ ᚹᚺᛟᛗ ᛗᚨᚾ ᚲᛟᚾᛩᚢᛖᚱᛋ ᛞᚨᚱᚴᚾᛖᛋᛋ ᚨᛒᛁᛞᛁᚾᚷ

    I am the Lodestar, by whom man conquers darkness abiding​

    “Young Master.” The God-King of Ib lifts eyes wrought with the most insolent earnestness that has ever existed. “Please accept me as your pet wizard.”


    “-. The Springtime of Youth .-“

    9pCiPqV.jpg

    “Son. What on earth have you been doing with this man?”

    The loud slam of the antechamber door perversely fails to banish the memory of the Lord Stark’s question and no, don’t-!

    “Unh!” Marwyn lurches forward and down, wide-eyed.

    “You think that’s funny!?”

    Y-you….You b-bearded him! You’re bearding him? B-bearding a man isn’t the same as pushing boundaries! You’re bearding a wizard! A mighty sorcerer! A king! Don’t just stand there, you fools! Martyn, Luwin, Rickard, do something, don’t just gawp like an ox! Oh why do I even bother? He’ll just keep on carrying on. Mercy, great God-King! Mercy, please! The boy’s not a bad lad, he’s just a moron!

    Marwyn blinks and blinks. Then goes down on his knees and raises folded hands in entreaty.

    … Mad. He’s mad. You’re mad. Everyone is mad.

    Your grip on his beard only tightens as you pull his face up to yours. “I’ve half a mind to say no.” What did you just say? “What if I just refuse?”

    “If you won’t have me serve at your pleasure, I will serve you as best I can at mine. Sounds like it would make a fine mess of unintended consequences though.”

    “Are you blackmailing me?”

    “Never.”

    Mad, mad, mad I say. And so am I for not realising that you’ve neither the strength nor weight to move him. Even while you’re bearding him he bends over backwards and forwards for you. At least smooth out the mess you made of his mane you unconscionable-! Thank you. His white-dusted, fiery mane rustles softly as you rake order back into it. Now why do you grab it again?

    “That sword…”

    Marwyn says nothing.

    Do you appreciate what it means that a man like him stays quiet unless you give him leave?

    “It’s made from your staff. Isn’t it?”

    “It is.”

    “How long have you known how to work Valyrian steel?”

    “Oh, the Citadel’s known all along. Where do you think all those Valyrian links come from? Even if we had a store of them, how do you think they get pried open and closed when put or moved from chain to chain?”

    The tusk-like whiskers wiggle between your fingers. How does the man not sneeze? They grow half-way right out of his nose. Doesn’t it itch?

    Marwyn just watches you, eyes wrought with the most soulful earnestness that has ever existed. “I know how to make it too, now, incidentally.”

    You roughly let go of the man’s beard, visibly biting back what you were about to say. “Are you telling me – the armor. You made that from scratch?”

    “Oh no, I just retrieved it from my stash down south. Just knowing how to make Valyrian steel doesn’t mean I can. I’ve not a renewable supply of dead people, you see.”

    Says the immortal who created his own way to cheat death and old age through bloodkin human sacrifice.

    “Are you trying to buy your way into my service?”

    “Never.”

    Never indeed. Don’t mind the magic sword. It’s barely passable as a name day gift. A mere trifle, not even finished. And certainly the baubles for your other name day had nothing to do with making Luwin's father wallow in dismay at being so thoroughly bested at his own game.

    “Marwyn… Or is it Asmundur? Magnus? Olaf? What should I even call you?”

    “Call me whatever name you wish.”

    “Don’t tempt me.” Your hands rise and reach forward, then stop. “Marwyn…”

    “Yes, lord?”

    “Why?”

    “Because everyone and their grandmother is out to kill you because you’ve started the end of the world as we know it.” The bloody darkness inside him engulfs the God-King’s face. “I won’t let them.”

    He won’t let them. The bloodmoon shimmers behind his brow, promising death. He loves you, boy. He really does.

    “… I believe you.”

    The darkness passes and Marwyn smiles. His eyes crinkle. Still he waits with his hands offered up.

    What are you waiting for, Brandon Stark? Why do you sigh so put upon? “And the fact that swearing to me lets you put off that whole Ibben business for another hundred years has nothing to do with it, I’m sure.”

    “Am I to be punished?” Marwyn asks guilelessly and oh he did not just- “If so, I recommend deferring until three or four years from now when everyone involved can properly appreciate it. You’ll need time to learn what all I got put through everywhere else, before you can figure out something that that actually works for what you need.” Marwyn frowns thoughtfully. “Might need to keep a written record of past offences, mind, but I’ll be sure to recall any such instances regardless and volunteer the information as it becomes relevant.”

    Oh now he’s just fucking with me. Not you, young man, just me. Where is my birdbrained mouthpiece when I need it? Back in the throne room eating corn, that’s where. Lord Stark, Rickard, Winter King, say something! Or am I reading too much into it? How pure a love are we actually talking about here?

    “Right,” you say flatly. Still the man kneels with hands folded before you, calm and steady despite that you withdraw again. Pinch your nose like only your father does, you pretentious manling. “Anything else I should know? Just so I know what to do with you.”

    “Well, magic is the obvious one of course. I’ve also come up with a way to mine the Norrey gold – we’ll need to sacrifice a valley or two, but the quicksilver will actually make things easier otherwise. Also, I was one of three leading the counter-conspiracy down in Oldtown before I was kicked out. My cohorts have since secured their hold on the Citadel and are ready to open a dialogue at your pleasure.”

    … I have no idea what to even say.

    “The dragonbone in the hilt came from them,” Marwyn supplies helpfully. “A token of their sincerity, I’m told.”

    How your father can still just stand aside and watch without saying anything, I have no idea. And I practically nest inside those poor brain meats of his.

    “Is that all?” Are you still not convinced of his commitment, Brandon Stark? How much more do you want?

    “Well, I suppose there’s the blackstone, but you don’t need me for that. You just use sea water instead of fresh one and switch the baked lime for volcanic ash. There’s fair patches of it along the Bay of Ice. Quite a few dead volcanoes in them mountains, if the gold didn’t make it obvious. House Mormont will appreciate the prospects, I imagine. Glovers too. Flints and Wulls and Liddles and all the rest. Some parts of the Neck might also have it, what with all the basalt. I think that’s all of it, though I’m sure there are other things I could come up with, given ideas and time.”

    … Take him, boy. Take him. Take him now. Don't set him loose where you can't see him, he can get past me.

    “You do not think me genuine,” Marwyn murmurs some time later, still so painfully earnest. “What about equivalent exchange? Can you at least trust that?”

    “Oh Marwyn…” How I wish I could read and feel you like I do others, lad. Then I’d at least have some idea of how much insecurity you keep buried under this needling, lofty front of yours. “I do think you’re genuine.”

    “I’m glad.”

    “I won’t make it easy, you know.”

    “I know.”

    “I won’t take half measures.”

    “I know. It’s alright.”

    “If you pledge as a teacher, I expect you to teach me everything you know. If you vow to protect me, you’ll put everything else behind. If you pledge to attend to me, you damn well better attend to me. And if you swear to me, you swear to me. Not Winterfell, not the North, not my Father, not whoever your friends are back in Oldtown, not even your vassals in Ibben or whatever else.”

    “As it should be. As I said I would. Didn’t I?”

    You still seem troubled, Brandon Stark. Why?

    “The people in this world kneel far too readily.”

    As opposed to what? The worlds that exist only in your fancies? Sometimes I wish I knew what goes on in your mind, Brandon Stark. But then I catch a glimpse of this deviant morality and am glad to have my thoughts instead borne by your father. At least then I know one of us will bear the future without going mad. Heed, young man! Stop living in dreams and pay reality the proper mind!

    “Alright then.” You take his hands. They look bigger than even Umber’s under yours. But they settle even more comfortably inside them, somehow. “Swear what you will.”

    “For as long as you live, use me whatever way you wish.”

    Like before, he pledges everything. You are wise to in turn swear nothing. There is no wish or will or power than can confine everything that can be in the world. Why would man be any different in that?

    “Alright. That’s that then. Rise.”

    Marwyn does, though he does not withdraw his hands from yours. Already you've grown so much that you and him both stand at the same height. How content will he be, I wonder, once the time comes when he is always looking up?

    “First thing’s first – some proper smithcraft for this mane.”

    Marwyn smiles as you tug on his tusk-like whiskers, utterly delighted. “You do like it.”

    “You saw it, didn’t you? Back when you chewed me up and spat me out like a slavering swine.”

    “Barely a handful of sounds and images, master. I apologise for my trespass and offer all due recompense.”

    “And I’ll extract it thoroughly. It’s just as well. Artifice like the one back there is as good a thing to start with as any. The tusk tips are fine – swordfish bone, is it? – but you can do better. Nice, thick rings. Say as wide as your toes, if it’s the size I’m thinking. I’ll have to inspect them later to make sure. I’m thinking some bronze to start with. Should hold spells well enough. I will, after all, need some way to assert my claim, isn’t that right?”

    “Of course.”

    “You’ll grow it to proper length of course.” Grow his beard? Is that where’re you’re at now? What a childish request, I like it! “I expect to see it tucked inside your belt at the very least.”

    Marwyn tugs on the wiry bristles blanketing his beer belly, looking ridiculously pleased with himself. “As you command, master.”

    “And you’ll move your quarters next to mine. Tonight.”

    Marwyn stares, astonished. I would too, if I were shown such trust had I done what he did to you. If only you trusted your own decisions the way others trust them.

    Hearken, young man! If you want to know the true nature of man, give him power. Think back to that moment when he broke you utterly. Remember how helpless he had you in his grasp back then. Was that not proof enough of his true nature? All of your life you showed others earnest love and devotion. Now these others are showing you their earnest love and devotion. Who are you to gainsay them? Can you not see what it means that all those who knelt to you up to his point bent not one knee but both? Or is it your own nature you have doubts on now? Do you think you’ll fail the same test, is that right? How low do you think of yourself? Why? And why do you worry about your worth at all? You’re barely three and ten name days old, don’t waste what’s left of your young years on fretting over dark futures imagined. Don’t act as if you owe this world to go reign yourself in. Self-deprecation is not a virtue, and self-awareness is not a sin!

    “Such a kind and forgiving master I have.” Marwyn stares at you, smiling wonderingly. “I am at your service.”

    “Yes. Yes, I dare say you are. Now if there’s nothing else?”

    Marwyn looks just about to say no, but then... “Well, perhaps one thing.”

    “Yes?”

    “Might I be graced with one of your lordship’s famous hugs?”

    No… He didn’t…

    “Oh? They’re famous now, are they?”

    “Absolutely to die for.”

    He did!

    And of course it’s this that settles your mood, I should have known. “I don’t waste such things on people who can’t return them properly. But if you take that armor off, I’ll allow it.”

    “Oh! Forgive my foolishness, I’ll do so at once!”

    Behold, young man, you’ve prevailed over Substance by dint of Consciousness alone. The Motion of the life before you now bends entirely to yours. Behold the man in front of you, and know that the Principles have come together in you both. As they were in the beginning. As they will be at the end of all things.

    “Mmm…” Marwyn hums pleasantly as he embraces you. Lets himself be enfolded by you. “Begging you lordship’s, pardon, there’s nothing magical about this at all.”

    “Disappointed?”

    He hugs you tighter. “Absolutely ecstatic.”

    Heed, young man, your humble servant's words and rest easy and true. You aren't unwittingly mind controlling people to make them love you. Really, show some sense if humility is too much to abide. Power rarely means a despicable arcane contrivance. You think it’s so easy to bend people’s minds? You think it just happens without trying besides? Power resides where men believe it resides.

    Do not wallow in self-deception when the world already tries to shove so many falsehoods down your throat. There is no just killing, there is no unjust mercy, all peace is good, all war is evil, there is no good, there is no evil, there is no 'other' that deserves to be fought to the bitter end. Foolishness, all of it. All wrong like so many sayings, who lied of them to you? False idols do not all come in stone or wood shapes. False beliefs work just as insidiously. When a man hates another for being hated, is he evil? When a woman kills the one who raped her, is she evil? When a man lets a beggar starve to death so he won’t suffer the same, is he evil for having the greater will to live? When the wicked stepmother drives her husband’s first daughter to kill herself, is he the one at fault for marrying again? When the Andals came slaughtering men, women and children and enslaved what was left, was the Valemen’s doomed war against them evil?

    There is just death. There is just war. Sometimes there is no justice but retributive justice! Do not apologise for being in the right. Seek not vain peace with those who would have enmity. Seize not on enmity uncalled for either. Do not compromise! That is but the slow march towards degeneracy favoured only by the cowardly and weak that envy your accomplishments!

    Heed, young man, the counsel of the dispossessed! Heed their wisdom and don’t fear. Fear not when the snows fall a hundred feet deep, when the ice wind comes howling out of the north and the sun hides its face for years at a time. Fear not when little children are born and live and die all in darkness, while the direwolves grow gaunt and hungry and the white walkers move through the woods. Fear is the death of reason, the chains of slavery, the seed of all self-destructive beliefs that turn hero to slave and man to sheep. Do not let the light of Consciousness be extinguished. Shine forth, shine on, now as in the beginning.

    The universe was born in a blinding burst of creation! In the beginning there was everything and the everything held not a thing at all. There was no motion and therefore no consciousness. The all was free to fathom everything, even as it had nothing with which to fathom, let alone relate its fathoming with anything other than itself. Infinite thought of nothing met infinite everything and fathomed an infinite focus. What else could happen but chaos? The universe was born when everything fathomed everything it could be without any limits to the motions of substance.

    At the time.

    But the Principles march ever onwards, begetting more of themselves in ever richer span and intricacy and variety. Everything that could be then cannot compare with everything that is now, let alone everything there will be in the future that we none of us can begin to fathom. Not all or even most of it is kind, but it doesn’t have to be, does it? Motion begets Motion, snarks and grumpkins may lay claim to the Substance of things, but it is Man who brings change to the Consciousness of the world. It is Man that decides what is good and right in the world. It is Man who decides if he slays or saves monsters.

    Look upon the marvel before you and see. Look upon the sword he proffers on bended knee. Read the words that tell you how you appear, in the eyes of monsters soaked in blood betrayal and lives burnt to nothing. You are his Lodestar, by whom man conquers darkness abiding.

    You and your hugs, boy. You and your hugs! You and this bizarre thing you do where you grab and drag men of great power under you!

    You are in for chaos, lad. There are those who want to overthrow the wingless dragons to establish a true Westerosi state ruled by its own people. There are those who want to conquer every kingdom not their own to plunder their riches and make their people slaves. There are those across the water who want to carve up all of your lands between themselves. There are those who want to topple your entire way of life as revenge for the long shadow cast by that throne of bloody swords they’ve always hated. Serfs and slaves and killers scream up from under it all. Killers, kinslayers and almighty idiots sneer down from above you. Egoists and pretenders plot and scheme all around you. You’ve no idea how many of them would set aside their differences to see one like you gone.

    Why do you think so many rats and vipers spend their lives lying? Faking foretelling and telling lies to men low and high? Stabbing themselves on three branches and staring into fire? Wasting their lives to worms and glamour to put to thoughts and desires and dreams of ruin in the minds of men? When a god sees the future, it’s set it stone. When a mortal sees it, it is destroyed!

    You are not the hero, Brandon Stark. You are the sacrifice. You have always been the sacrifice.

    But you are no sheep either. You’ve already survived once. The Greendream is broken but not quite broken enough that you don’t have some time. When the moment comes that the world tries to burn you to nothing, will you overcome and emerge triumphant once more? Chaos is not a ladder, it rips the foundation and footing from under everyone and all. It’s always the biggest that fall hardest when that time comes rolling like a storm. Every act is of magic, even now and here on the corpse of this world!

    The future comes for you, Brandon Stark, chasing down the heels of your other half and the brave men beyond the hinge of the world that somehow still survive.

    When you rise or fall or face the empty mouthpiece of the blood betrayers, I’ll brave the fire one last time to peck the crow’s face off and take back my eye.
     
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    Chapter II.2: Grinding Teeth Do Not a Gay Storm Make (I)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    ____________________________________________________________

    Chapter II.2: Grinding Teeth Do Not a Gay Storm Make

    8wxtXjE.jpg


    “-. 273 AC .-“



    Robert Baratheon hated Jon Arryn.

    He hated his nose that stuck out like a hook, his eyes that may as well be rocks for all the blue supposed to be in them, his hair that couldn’t even stick to one colour, and the man’s breath, gods, it stunk like rotten cheese! Even his teeth were falling out! Dad had made him sound so great too! A great towheaded man with broad shoulders, blue eyes, and a bold nose of eaglelike majesticness to go with his shrewd mind, so wise and calming and kindly and it was all just one big bunch of crapbaskets!

    Jon was old, stiff, dull, boring, a terrible nag to out-nag every other nag in the world, and he didn’t even have a home good enough to winter in! Not that Robert cared for the Eyrie none. With what the Gates of the Moon were like, the Eyrie would probably be boring anyway. Who cared how great it looked from a distance? Jon’s breath didn’t stink from a distance either, but Robert would have to endure both up close and personal, it was horrible!

    And to dump the rest of the bastard down the well, Jon didn’t even have a mom to offer! Who was Robert supposed to go denounce the unfairness of fate when everything in his life betrayed him? Old man couldn’t even tell when Robert was cussing him out inside his head, this was the man claiming he’ll raise and love and cherish him like a second father?

    Well he wasn’t interested! He already had a father and he was the strongest and handsomest and the best and the greatest, and even if Robert had to bear with that sourpuss of a brother forever, he wanted to go home!

    … He wanted to go home.

    But they wouldn’t let him! Even after he made their life complete hell, they still wouldn’t let him. They barely even gave him a second glance when he did something outrageous anymore. They thought ignoring him would grind him down, until he ground his teeth down from all the honor this and duty that and they could go suck air through a reed and choke on it! They even had the balls to pretend not to notice him glaring at them anymore.

    But wait, that was a bad sign! They surely couldn’t expect him to just stop looking at them sideways. What if they just decided to switch targets? They did decide just to switch targets! Well a pox on that! He’ll be damned before he let them do the same to some other poor boy! He wouldn’t stand for it! He’d… He’d save him! Yes, that’s it. That’s what he’ll do. Even if he couldn’t save himself, he’d save that poor barbarian child or eat grass trying! Except it was winter so he’d probably kiss ice instead. And it wasn’t one or the other because he’d already saved himself, thank you very much, but now he was just repeating himself.

    To himself.

    In his head.

    Wow, he really didn’t do well sitting and waiting. That was another thing that got him in trouble, especially with Maester Cudius. He regretted ever calling Cressen boring! The Septon was alright though. Urizen would never stop being a stupid name, but as long as his robeliness kept coming in just in time to distract Jon from his latest lecture about Robert’s childish antics, he was going to forgive him (antics! childish! him!).

    These weren’t no antics! This was planning. Strategy. The most actionable of all plans of action! Bold, clear and free of moving parts outside his reach. Just him, the rope and the tree.

    Speaking of which…

    Robert slapped his cheeks a couple of times, almost falling off the branch he was perched on. Not because he can’t balance none – his balance was as perfect as the rest of him, thank you as rudely as you deserve and then some – but because of the desperate lunge he had to make for the rope. He shouldn’t have dropped it, but all’s well that ends well! And what ended well was him rousing himself up, seeing as there was no one else around to do it. It was all him on this one. Just him. Alone.

    Just in time too. The convoy was right below him now, with Jon juuust about in front of him with the little Stark at his front. Look at that runt, he was so small! Barely a year younger but still so tiny. So vulnerable, unsafe, defenceless, he had to protect him! As the eldest, he simply had to, it was his… his d… his du… it was his dewgh… his-



    “…How’s this for duty you fucking cuuuuuuuuuUNTS!?”

    Jon and Teeny-Stark barely had time to turn and gape before he crashed into them.

    “UNH!”

    “WHA-!”

    “ROBERT!?”

    The feeling of sheer triumph upon flying off with the little Stark in his arms could not be described, even if it was completely stupid because did people still not look up? All the way up here? In the Vale! The Eyrie was literally above them all the time, they should be old hats at craning their necks by now!

    Then the flight turned to a fall and he barely had time to wrap himself around the runt before they crashed and proceeded to roll down the slope.

    “AH!”

    The snowy slope.

    “AH!” “UGH!”

    The very thickly snow-covered slope he’d prepared the day prior while he was shoveling the path leading up to the Gates of the Moon as punishment, never you mind what for!

    “UGH!” “HN!” “URK!”

    They rolled down and down and beyond the treeline out of sight.

    “AH!” “UGH!” “HN!” “URK!” “OGH!” “Ooooohhhh…”

    They came to a stop in a snow-blasted pile of limbs, tangled cloaks, and the sounds of soul-crushing agony as Robert grabbed Teeny-Stark by the collar and yanked him up to his face to- “Help me, Eddard son of Rickard, you’re my only hope!”

    Wait! That wasn’t what he wanted to say!

    His only reply was a pained whimper.

    Oops. Might have kneed the half-pint in the crotch there. Once or twice. A few times. He let go.

    Stark fell and curled up in a ball, moaning what might have been words. Robert eagerly bent down to listen closer to what would surely be his rightful-

    “Y-you’re,” Stark moaned, “The ugliest damsel I've ever seen distressed.”

    “Oh, I’m sorry, would you rather I lay back and swoon for you instead? I can do that!”

    Wait, that didn’t come out right!

    “P-piss off,” Stark groaned, rolling away from him. “Southron lunatics, I should’ve stayed home and died from the plague.”

    Excuse him! See if he ever tries to save him again! Is this the thanks he gets? Where were the words of praise? The blood oaths? Where was his legendary adventuring partner of legend!?

    The sounds of shouts and footstomps came from uphill.

    “Right, time to go!” Robert threw Teeny-Stark over his shoulder.

    “Wh-put me down!”

    “You shut up and let this here knight save you, princess.”

    Honestly, did he want to get them caught? Not that a bit of noise would be enough. They’ll never catch him, he had exemplary skills!

    He turned away and hightailed it through the bushes right into a pair of legs.

    “AOGH!”

    Robert fell on his arse. Stark crashed and resumed being a moaning mess of useless northman.

    “What the hell do you think you’re doing!?”

    Robert rubbed his forehead and gaped up at the man, shocked. Where? When? How!?

    “Lord Eddard, are you hurt?”

    Stark stumbled to his feet and scrambled to hide behind the man’s legs. “He almost killed me!”

    “You rat bastard!”

    “Robert,” growled Denys Arryn, the Darling of the Vale, Keeper of the Gates of the Moon. “Shut up.”

    Robert shut up.

    Denys busied himself checking the runt over, then doing it again before he picked him up to carry and that little jackass! Where were his complaints about being lugged around like a sack now?

    Denys glared down at him. “Inside.”

    “But-“

    “Now.”

    Foiled!

    “-. 273 AC .-“


    “-uld have been injured! You could have died! Either of you, both of you, what would I have told your fathers? What is even going on in that head of yours, Robert?” The words and more words washed over him like rain. Except not really, because if it were rain, he’d enjoy it. What were you thinking, what weren’t you thinking, how could you this, why couldn’t you that, when won’t you yes, when will you not, do you want me to pretend outrage enough so that maybe you’ll actually believe me about writing your parents this time? As if Robert didn’t know Jon knew full well that was the whole point. The man never actually followed through on those threats for that exact reason. Gods forbid Robert be allowed to tell his real dad what he thought about this whole- “Well? What have you to say for yourself?”

    Fuck literally every word you just said, old man.

    Jon waited, and when that didn’t do anything he cradled his forehead with a sigh, then addressed Stark. “Forgive him, Ned. Robert’s not a bad lad, he’s just…”

    “A moron,” Stark said.

    Behind them, Denys snorted.

    “Excuse you!” Robert blurted and wait just a darned minute! “Wait a second, Ned? How do you go from Eddard to Ned? That makes no sense. But wait! Are you on pet names already? You no good runt!” He cried, pointing a finger. “You’re fraternising with the enemy!”

    Eddard Stark looked back in disbelief.

    “Don’t you look at me like that, you little brat! Don’t you have any idea what these people are planning? They’ll take you and browbeat you and change you until all you do is nod and drone and scowl and they have you grinding your teeth like Stannis if it were up to them! Well I won’t lose my teeth before I’m thirty! I won’t!”

    There was an awkward silence.

    “Robert…” Jon asked, blinking in utter bafflement. “What are you talking about?”

    “Don’t act like you don’t know!” Robert snapped at the man, trying to pretend his chest wasn’t twisting in knots. He tried to glare at him, but he could feel tears gathering at the corners of his eyes so he looked away. “Why did you even ask for me to be sent here when you hate everything about me? You don’t want me, it’s Stannis you want.”

    “Oh Robert…”

    He wasn’t gonna cry. He wasn’t. Not with Jon there and Denys there and the runt that didn’t have anyone else on his side that could be the big boy and he wasn’t gonna cry!

    “Denys,” Jon said lowly. “Why don’t you get Ned settled in?”

    “Of course, cousin. Come on, Lord Eddard. I’ll show you your rooms.”

    There was silence as the Lord’s solar emptied of all but the two of them.

    Jon watched him for a while. A long while. Not long enough. “Robert…“

    “I want to go home!” Robert burst. “I want my dad, I want my mom, I want my uncle, I want Donal, I want Storm’s End where I at least have the big tower and walls, and the rain and thunder to lull me asleep, not all you holier-than-Barth Valemen all over the place trying to make me into everything I’m not!”

    “Robert-“

    “I’m not shallow!” And you fuck you too, Lady Megaera, you and Denys deserve each other and then some. “I’m not shallow! I’m not! You don’t want me either, or you wouldn’t be on my arse about being wise and responsible and mindful and dutiful and honor this and duty that and you can stomp on your duty and eat it! I get it! I’m not good enough. I got it by the first week! But you know what, I don’t care! I ain’t no Stannis! I won’t turn into no Stannis either, so there! I won’t become like that grump, I won’t! No matter how angry and alone you make me feel even when you don’t leave me alone, I won’t! And look at that, I didn’t! I won! I stuck it out until you all gave up! I didn’t think you’d just switch targets on me, but I should’ve. There’s no low you won’t sink to, is there? Well good luck trying it with Stark, I won’t let you do it to him either! You hear me, Jon? Oh what’s that, Jon? You’re disappointed, Jon? You want to know why, Jon? Because, Jon

    “I’m Robert Fucking Baratheon!”

    What should have been the storm’s howling triumph had long since turned into a trembling shriek by the end. Robert would have cursed if his throat hadn’t clogged up and-

    “Oh Robert.”

    - and no, no! He didn’t give him permission to hug him none, he didn’t! “Don’t touch me, don’t you dare, stay away from me-gerrof!”

    “No.” Jon knelt and embraced him. “I’m here.”

    “I don’t want you!” Robert burst into tears. “I hate you!”

    “I know. It’s alright.”

    “Id’s not a’right, y’ dumbass! I dun wadda hade people, id feels like crap!”

    “That’s alright too.”

    “Id’z not!” Robert sagged in Jon’s hold and lost it entirely, crying his lungs out. “I hade dis blace, I hade you, an’ fosterin’s a pile o’ shit!”

    Jon held him closer and didn’t say anything.

    This was it! This was the end! He’d reached the end of his rope! There was no hope anymore, no hope! This was Robert’s life now. He was doomed to stay in the Vale, where everyone from the lowest to the highest of men even now didn’t get it, after Robert had done everything he could think of to make them feel sorry for having him sent here and then some. Gods, they were all broken in the head here, weren’t they? Maester Cudius and his stutter, Septon Urizen and his endless rambling, Denys and Elbert and everyone else that didn’t get the message he was hollering, and now Jon too. What, did losing all his children and wives and other relatives leave him so starved for anything resembling fatherhood that he’d just up and take it?

    Jon tightened his hold and held Robert like that until his sobs finally stopped. It took an embarrassingly long time.

    Sniff.

    Well fine then! Not like he could just run away anyway. He knew his strategy, thank you very much, he’d already tried everything and failed to escape from such determined foes. Well, everything he was willing to try anyway. Hitting them with sticks and stones and what have you was the only thing he hadn’t tried, and he’d never do that! You should never hit a child, a dodderer or the lamebrained unless it’s live or die, because they’re too stupid to know better. Dad said so! Jon was basically two of those, wasn’t he? But then… that could only mean he needed Robert the most!

    The realisation brought Robert relief like he’d never felt before. Then he just felt stupid for questioning this mess at all. Of course Jon and the rest wanted him here, he was Robert Fucking Baratheon! Who wouldn’t want him?

    Robert hugged Jon around the middle.

    Jon held him closer. He was trying to say something, but his voice was all wobbly now too.

    Fine! He’d do it. He’d grace them with his majestic presence if that’s what it took. If that’s what it took to let him go back home, he’d do it.

    He’d save Jon first.

    He’d save them all.



    “…Jon?”

    “I’m here Robert.”

    “Why doesn’t your breath stink like bad cheese anymore?”



    “-. 273 AC .-“


    It was only when Jon walked him to his bedchambers that the other big change to his life dawned on him – he was going to share rooms from now on. With the runtling! Finally, someone to sleep with! It'd been so lonely since Stannis refused to share the same bed after that thing with the bird. He looked at Stark, who was somehow responsible for the incredible miracle of destroying Jon’s ability to kill an ox just by blowing in its general direction.

    “Ned.” Jon stood behind him and pushed Robert forward by the shoulders. “Robert has gotten over what was plaguing him previously.” That’s not what happened at all! Oh right. Lamebrained. Gotta be patient with the lamebrained. “He has something to say.”

    “I’m Robert Baratheon and I’m here to rescue you!”

    “Robert!”

    “What?” He glared back over his shoulder. “What was I supposed to say?”

    Jon rubbed his forehead. “I brought you here to apologise.”

    “Well how should I know? This is my bedchamber! And why should I apologise, I’m the one in the right here!”

    “Oh, Father help me.”

    Robert leaned forward. “He always says that. Especially when he hears you saying things you shouldn’t know. Did you know cats can kill you and make your death look like a suicide? Just one scratch at your wrist and whoosh, you’re off to meet the Stranger.”

    Jon slapped the back of his head.

    Robert rubbed the sore spot and grinned. “He doesn’t always do that, but drive him to it and you can be sure he won’t call you in for a nagging for at least two days.”

    “Uncle, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think I want to share rooms after all.”

    Oh, right, Elbert was there too. And he talked! Without being spoken too first, even. What an odd thing to do for somehow who was just a side character to the glorious epic of his life.

    Robert looked at Stark suspiciously. “Did you do something to him? Because if you think you can just poach my flunkies, you have another thing coming.”

    Elbert gaped. “Did you just call me a flunky?”

    Robert ignored him.

    Eddard looked at Robert. He had a really long face now that Robert got a proper look at it. Brown hair and dark grey eyes. Back outside the keep Robert could have sworn they looked like fog, but now they looked kind of like blocks of stone as Stark watched him and said- “You’re not like Brandon at all.”

    “Of course not!” Robert scoffed, affronted. “There’s no one else like me!”

    Stark just watched him some more. It felt weird. Like looking for shelter in the middle of winter not knowing if the next moment was going to land you in the middle of a blizzard. Robert didn’t like the feeling, especially when the other boy was so small. But still the runt watched him, quietly and intently like… like Stannis would’ve, oh gods, please, no! Don’t make him be like Stannis, ye gods, don’t be so cruel!

    Finally, Eddard Stark dropped his head with a sigh, raised it back, stepped forward and put one hand on his shoulder. “Baratheon. Robert. May I call you Robert?”

    Oh thank you, gods, thank you! “I’ll allow it.” Robert said loftily, because it was best if everyone knew from the start where they stood. “And I will call you Ned of course.”

    Stark smiled up at him and said: “No.” Then he grabbed Robert by the balls and squeezed.

    Hard.

    “GYAAARGH!”

    He went down shrieking.

    Pain. Pain! Life was pain!

    “Warrior’s Rule number 1: when engaging in hand-to-hand combat, your life is always at stake. Warrior’s Rule number 2: when engaged in hand-to-hand combat, finish it.”

    Life was pain. The worst pain. Hard, bursting, throbbing pain. Oh gods, for what sins was he being punished so?

    “Eyes. Nose. Throat. Temple. Nape. Ears. Spine. Kidneys. Floating ribs. Armpit. Groin.” Eddard Stark’s voice came from around him, reciting each word like a poet of death and suffering. “Each one a spot where a good hit can kill a man. I do hope you appreciate my restraint in only avenging myself upon the last.”

    Robert whimpered.

    “What’s that, Baratheon? Turnabout is fair play, you say? Why, yes it is. I’m glad we agree, Robert. Otherwise I might have to resort to more segmented approaches to revelation. Stomach, upper lip, collar bone, instep, knee, shoulder, elbow, wrist, fingers. Each so weak and fragile that just one hit can cause unconsciousness and debilitating pain. Would be such a shame if you lost use of one or all of them over so paltry a matter as almost killing me just half an hour ago.”

    “M-my balls,” Robert moaned. “You c-crushed my b-balls!”

    “Justice and vengeance, Baratheon. Justice and vengeance,” Ned said from beyond the white haze of pain all around him. “Though I suppose I did show unseemly mercy by so unwisely forgoing my body’s natural weapons just now. I can reprise the lesson if it pleases you, once for every one of them. Would you like me to provide a list? Or will you submit that my judgment is righteous?”

    “I submit, I submit!” Robert groaned, rolling away from the voice. “Gods, do I ever…”

    “Well. I’m glad that’s settled then.” Ned’s voice turned away from him then. “I do, of course, owe you an apology as well Jon. Not only did I fail to think quickly enough to do a measly duck, it was this same failure that prevented him from eluding our capture in the aftermath. I can only beg forgiveness and promise to do better henceforth.”

    Robert squirmed and squinted, confused.

    Jon’s voice came then, and it sounded like Robert felt. “… Could you repeat that? I’m not sure I’m quite clear on what you’re promising, exactly.”

    There was no answer from Stark. Only a solemn silence.

    Robert squinted up, searching Ned’s face. All he could see was Stannis.

    Stannis, but with a sense of humor.

    He was perfect.
     
    Last edited:
    Chapter II.2: Grinding Teeth Do Not a Gay Storm Make (II)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member

    ____________________________________________________________

    tiIs3sG.jpg



    “-. 274 AC .-“


    “NED!” The wind swallowed his shout. “OH NEEED!” The wind threatened to swallow his shout again, but he would beat it! No matter how far the other towers of the Gates of the Moon were. Especially when it wasn’t the far end he was screaming at, though he’d surely conquer that distance in due time and win! He’d always win! He was Robert Fucking B-

    “BART.” What did he just call him!? “DO YOU EVER STOP GUSHING?”

    “DON’T CALL ME BART!” Robert screamed, horrified. “IT SOUNDS LIKE FART!” The help was going to laugh behind their back for weeks.

    But wait, that was a good sign! If they’re laughing that’s practically the same as gushing like everyone was gushing over Robert when he first arrived, so Ned”ll know how full of crap he was just now! Then maybe he’ll eat his own words for once, and get it into his long-faced skull than Robert was entitled to gush as much as he wanted over whoever he wanted and whoa, that train of thought sure went strange places fast.

    This task from Jon to ‘train their command voice’ was a disaster already.

    “WHAT’S THAT?” Oh Ned was not allowed to pretend Robert was losing his voice yet. They’d barely been at this a few minutes! “SHOULD I CALL YOU FART?”

    “DO IT AND I’ll KILL YOU!” The wind swallowed everything from the third word and no, no!

    “… WELL IF YOU’RE SURE?”

    “I AM! I MEAN I’M NOT! DON’T CALL ME THAT, NED, OR I’LL-I’LL PUT A LIZARD IN YOUR BED!”

    “WE SLEEP IN THE SAME BED.”

    “THAT’S RIGHT! THERE’S NOWHERE YOU CAN HIDE!”

    “LIZARDS ARE HARMLESS.”

    “THEY’RE DISGUSTING!”

    “THEY’RE DRY AND SPRY AND THE SIGHT OF THEM MEANS SUMMER IS GOING STRONG.”

    “THEY’RE SNAKES, BUT WITH LEGS! THERE’S NOWHERE TO HIDE FROM THEM! THE TALLER THE WALLS, THE HIGHER THEY CLIMB TO FIND THE SUN AND YOU’RE NEVER FREE OF THEM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! UNLESS YOU GO TO A DIFFERENT KINGDOM! I SHOULD KNOW! WORSE THAN SPIDERS THEY ARE! AND THEN YOU TRY TO THROW THEM AWAY AND THEY DUMP THEIR TAIL RIGHT IN YOUR HAND AND UGH! THEY’RE THE WORST!”

    For a moment, no reply came from the other tower. Then…

    “…SOUTHRON WINTERS SURE BLOW LOTS OF HOT AIR.”

    Why that little-! “YOU-YOUR FACE IS FULL OF HOT AIR!” Robert shrieked-bellowed! He definitely bellowed!

    “THAT’S WHAT I SAID.”

    “CRAP, YOU’RE RIGHT!” Oh gods, he didn’t mean to say that out loud! Robert hoped the biting wind hid his blush – wait, no he didn’t! There was nobody there to see it!

    Again there was no reply from the other tower, but this time it went on for so long that Robert had to check to make sure Ned hadn’t ditched him. With relief, he saw he hadn’t-

    “BARTFARTEON!”

    Robert froze, then turned livid eyes upon the third tower of the Gates of the Moon. He barely got to see the tail-ends of the slamming door.

    “ELBEEEEERT!” Robert screamed against the gale. “I”LL KILL YOUUUUU!”

    Ned’s voice, when it came again, was nothing if not exasperated. “HE’S ALREADY GONE.”

    “I SWEAR, WHEN I CATCH HIM…!”

    “GIVE IT A REST ROBERT. YOU KNOW YOU’LL NEVER GO THROUGH WITH ANYTHING ON PAIN OF JON’S LECTURES.”

    “DON’T YOU START WITH ME! WHY DOESN’T HE EVER LECTURE YOU ANYWAY? OH THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE HIS FAVORITE!” Wait, he didn’t mean to say that out loud either!

    “… WHY DO YOU THINK THAT?”

    Gods be good, he actually sounded like he didn’t know. “ARE YOU SERIOUS? HE PRAISES AND LISTENS TO YOU AND DOTES ON YOU ALL THE TIME!”

    “HE’S NOT LIKE THAT WITH YOU?”

    Forget the help, they were going to be laughed at by the whole keep, and was Ned kidding? With all the trouble Robert gave the Septon and the Maester or Jon himself when they tried to teach him something? Of course Jon wasn’t like that with Robert anymore! Not since Robert made it clear he didn’t want it. Not… Not since Robert decided to be as much of a shit as possible. To him and his household and his kin. He really did get everything he asked for, Robert thought glumly. “HE CALLS YOU BY YOUR NICKNAME!” He yelled lamely when he didn’t find anything better.

    “BECAUSE I HAVE ONE.” Ned’s words this time came with the unmistakable slant of ‘duh.’ “I’M SURE HE’D DO THE SAME FOR YOU IF YOU HAD ONE.”

    “I DO SO HAVE ONE!”

    There was an awkward silence, as if Ned and the world both decided to give Robert all the time he needed to realize what he’d just admitted to. Crapbaskets!

    “OH REALLY?” Ned sounded outright interested now. “THIS I HAVE TO KNOW.”

    Robert panicked.

    Fortunately, fate was on his side for once and the help came out onto both their rooftops with news about arriving guests.

    Safe!

    “-. 274 AC .-“​

    He was not safe.

    “So…” Ned said after waylaying him half-way to their destination. “Jon calling me by my nickname hurts your feelings.”

    It does not! But when he went to say that aloud, Robert couldn’t.

    Ned looked up at him in surprise. “You’re jealous of me.”

    Robert mulishly kept walking and refused to answer.

    “It’s not a term of endearment, Robert.”

    “What else could it be?” Robert burst, because his will was weak. Weak!

    “An easier and shorter way to say Eddard.”

    “That makes no sense at all! How do you go from Eddard to Ned?”

    “I don’t know, how do you go from Robert to whatever your nickname is?”

    By having a father that never misses even the most embarrassing of your attempts at baby talk.

    “What is your nickname anyway?”

    My Most Cherished Treasure. My Precious Son. Robert. Robb. Dear One. Baby Boy. B-

    “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want-“

    “It’s Bobby, alright?” Robert snapped and started walking faster. “I was trying to learn proper words but instead of Robert, I said Bobber – allegedly – and then refused to say it anyway else – allegedly – then Dad tried Robb and I skipped a few steps and was all Bobby this, Bobby that. Naturally, Dad thought it was a riot and it stuck.” Up until Stannis used it in mockery for the first time. Then came the spar in the yard where Robert’s fists drew blood for the first time and a lot of other things started sticking where the pet name had been.

    The silence stretched. Robert glared at a raven that croaked at him from the other side of an arrow slit. The sun had descended into late afternoon at some point during their walk. He hadn’t realised so much time had passed. Then he looked aside, surprised to see he was standing alone. He didn’t remember having stopped. Turning, he saw Ned farther back in the hallway. “Ned?” Walking back, Robert belatedly realised Ned was watching him strangely. “Ned? You alright?”

    “Your nickname is Bobby. Bobby Baratheon.” Eddard Stark’s voice was odd, like… like his whole world was realigning. “Bobby B.”

    Robert suddenly felt like he may have made a huge mistake. “You can’t use it!” He blurted. “Only my Dad can. No one else. Nobody. Not even you, Ned. Got it?”

    Ned blinked, snapping out of whatever that had been. “Right. If you say so.”

    Robert chewed on his lower lip, wondering why he felt so disappointed all of a sudden. “What was that? Why did you stop?”

    Ned blinked a second time, then shook his head and started walking again. “Just realised something. It’s nothing to do with you.”

    As if!

    Robert asked and nagged and wheedled Ned about it all the way to the yard. Alas, it was to no avail. As always, Eddard Stark was the only person in the life of Robert Baratheon who didn’t back down to him.

    Mom and Dad didn’t count.

    A stout lad, that Ned Stark, good and true! Infuriatingly stubborn though. Especially considering he still hadn’t hit his growth spurt yet.

    Emerging into the yard was something Robert welcomed, even if he did have to live through Denys’ gruff scolding at being so late. They must have really been walking slow if everyone else was already there, even knowing the convoy would arrive today. At least Ned got a few words too this time, even if it was only about herding Robert better – as if! Ain’t nobody herding this auroch! He scowled at the sight of Elbert hiding behind Denys. What, did he think Robert would go and do something? He wasn’t that scary, was he? He never put his fist to him, but Elbert still acted like he was one step removed from punching him or something.

    “It’s because you’re big and loud, Robert,” Ned told him. “Also, you bully him.”

    “I do not!” Robert hissed. “I never hurt him.”

    “Not with your fists, no.”

    “Don’t you go soft on me.”

    “You have no idea what the word means, though it may be my own fault. Our first meeting might have pried certain things of yours loose.”

    Robert flushed in embarrassment, tried to find a witty retort, failed, and looked for a distraction. “Shaggy!” Robert roared, ignoring Denys’ bark to get back in line in favour of going off to meet the new arrivals half-way. More precisely, one of the freshly dismounted men that was bigger than any other man Robert had ever seen save his father, except just as wide and twice as hairy to boot. “Shaggy! I told you it would all work out!”

    “Little Lord.”

    “Little? I’m almost as tall as you already!”

    “As you say, Little Lord.”

    “Just you wait! I’ll be bigger than even you before you know it.”

    “Robert!” Denys came over to corral him. “Get back in line.”

    “Fine, fine.” He waved jauntily as he got dragged off. “I want a full account later!”

    Shaggy just watched him get dragged off with his usual halfheartedness.

    Robert had first met Shagga Dolfsson about two months after Ned’s arrival. Robert, Ned and Elbert were accompanying Jon down to one of the nearby villages for a dispute mediation, then lingered while Jon discussed the commissioning of a Sept at the behest of Septon Urizen. Being far too burdened with glorious common sense to stick around for that, Robert wandered off. Then he was smacked over the nose with the worst smell he’d ever smelled in his life. Naturally, he went investigating, despite the protests of the guard assigned to him for the day. His quest eventually led him to a big, rough and hairy pile of tattered furs that did nothing to hide that the man underneath stunk as if he’d never seen a bar of soap in his life.

    Which was fair. Water’s cold you know!

    What wasn’t fair was how the man went from village to hamlet and slept in hedges with nothing but his animal skins to protect him. And that was just when he wasn’t camping alone in the wilderness. In winter! It wasn’t even so much how he was living but the halfhearted way he talked about it when asked. Robert had talked and prompted and wondered and wheedled and then insulted the man outright, from sheer offense at the waste he was making of that amazing deep voice of his. That at least served to reveal the man’s fierce frown and loud laugh, but neither lasted before the hairy lunk sunk back into his strange disregard of everything, including himself. That turned out to include the old farmer, young maiden and even younger boy whose charity had seen him survive and move on from the last three settlements he passed before then. All of which the man shared dully when prodded, then with a bizarre mix of resignation and relief when surrounded and questioned by Jon and his men.

    Jon had thought he was a brigand. Then a poacher because of the skins he wore in place of clothes. Except the man didn’t have a bow or anything else resembling a weapon, save for a pair of branches thick as logs that looked to have been broken by hand and could barely be termed clubs. In a bad light. If you squint.

    When Jon went off the beaten path and decided the man was a mountain clansman, though, Robert put his foot down and adopted him. Shaggy looked the part and then some, but if he was from the clans, he was the worst mountain clansman ever. He didn’t raid, he didn’t rape, he didn’t steal, he didn’t hide, he didn’t run when confronted, he didn’t sneer down at them for being lowlanders. Hells, he didn’t even have a knife! It was ridiculous!

    Even after ordering Robert to have four guards around until further notice (which soon came and went because Robert was, of course, proven right about everything as usual), Jon had only reluctantly indulged him. After talking with the man without Robert there for almost an hour. Even then, Jon’s permission was on the assumption that Robert wouldn’t be able to control the man, let alone command him anything.

    The look on Jon’s face when he presented the big lunk freshly bathed and groomed the next evening still made Robert cackle at random times. It was Jon’s own fault for underestimating him.

    And his own niece! Alyssa Waynwood was with their party at the time and had thought it a great trick to play on her old and solemn uncle, so she enthusiastically contributed herself and her handmaidens to the effort of ‘making the hairy beast presentable’ in her own words. “Besides,” she’d said. “It’s about time us maidens fair got one over the bear for a change.” Good thing too, or Robert might not have realized how young Shaggy actually was. Barely a year into adulthood! Hearing that deep voice of his squirm itself into yelps was great fun too. Almost as much as the mortification of being made to do the bidding of the women, only to realise too late what that bidding implied. But he was properly reluctant to go against what Robert asked him at that point, so it was all great fun and turned out just fine.

    Which was good, because the man’s reasoning was just silly when Robert finally got it out of him in trade for ‘getting him away from all them handsy womenfolk.’ “I’d like to see the inside of a real castle at least once before I die,” he says. What kind of reason to live was that? A sad one, that’s what! It was unconscionable! Inconceivable! Tragic! Robert wasn’t going to stand for it!

    And he didn’t! He won! Again!

    The victory didn’t feel like crap this time either.

    Robert even got to see Ned’s jealous face at finding out what adventure he missed on. Served him right for ditching him in favour of ‘seeing the southron faith at work with his own eyes.’ Oh look, it’s all boring talk, boring chants, boring walkarounds, and the occasional sneeze when the censer passes in front of you. Robert could have told him all that!

    The only disappointment Robert had to deal with was how short a time Shaggy actually got to stay at the Gates of the Moon. Guess the way he trounced almost all the men-at-arms in training irked people more than Robert thought. Soon enough, Jon got Shaggy a job as a mule trainer and guide for caravans, so Robert started seeing less and less of him.

    Oh well! Such was life!

    Robert was satisfied knowing he’d got his way and the man would be alright. Shaggy still came over regularly, and sometimes he even remembered to bathe so he didn’t knock out every nearby ox worse than Jon used to. And sometimes, like today, he happened to be with other people Robert was looking forward to seeing. It was like two gifts in one!

    Speaking of gifts…

    “Do you have it?” Robert eagerly asked Aly as soon as he was free to visit her in her rooms. Discreetly.

    Shut up, he could so be discreet!

    “Maybe,” Alyssa told him with a smile. “But I’m not sure I want to just give it to you. You’ll have to earn it. Two out of three.”

    “I’m not falling for that again. First one to twelve!”

    “What do you take me for, an old widow with no other claims on her time? Three out of four.”

    “I’m not doing this without at least three tries to figure you out first. First to nine! Who knows how many new ones you have since last time?”

    “Fewer than I’d like after how much work I’ve had to put into yours. Besides, I won’t believe for a second you don’t have new ones of your own. I know I’m not your only source. Four out of five.”

    “That’s already cheating! You have half a dozen minions slaving away at your whims! There’s no way I have more new ones than you!” He ignored whatever reactions Alyssa’s seven handmaidens had at his words from where they loitered around Aly’s room like two-legged lizards. “First to six.”

    “First to five and I’ll throw a second card, how’s that?”

    “… What card are we talking about here?”

    “The perfect pair to the one you ordered.”

    Robert was torn. On the one hand, he’d get twice the treasure. On the other hand, the treasure was supposed to be a unique gift for the most important person in the Vale. On the other other hand, he was being bribed, which insulted his pride – he should be able to get his way without people resorting to such unmanly things! Then again, Aly was a girl. That settled it then! “Alright. First one to five.”

    The Gwent decks came out and thus the war began.

    The first match, Robert got one win and one draw for the first two rounds. Then he played the King of Winter, The Wild Wolf and the Knight of the Laughing Tree together, only for Aly to use the Bard Prince’s special ability – subverting troops of lower war strength – to take his Knight for herself, and the Wildfire card to remove the King of Winter from the field, leaving the Wild Wolf at the mercy of her Dragonlord.

    The second match, they won one round each, then Robert played the Arryn King, the Knight of the Moon, and two Noble Wards which received boosts to strength the more of them were in the field. He then played a Rally Horn card which doubled all of their field strength.

    Aly conceded. “I don’t have any weather cards or enough troops to match what you have there.”

    “That’s a first,” Robert muttered. Aly seemed to have done a major change to the basic deck, swapping lots of her old troop cards for tricks and sabotage. The opposite of what Robert had done to his own.

    The third match, Aly won and pulled a draw in the first and second rounds with copious use of muster and scorch cards. Unfortunately, she was able to eke out a win afterwards, beating his Arryn King, both Wards, and the Knight Muster card that let him pull all the Knight cards from his deck (he had six). Aly used a Rebel Lord, three Scorpions and the Port Fortress card that doubled the strength of her siege cards, beating him by one point difference.

    “I was getting worried I’d lost my groove for a while there,” Aly teased him as Robert forfeited the tie breaker round. “But it was just a fluke after all.”

    A fluke. A fluke! The only fluke was how his last card was a Clear Weather. Weather cards didn’t do anything without any troops in the field. He wasn’t about to tell her that though. Then she’d just accuse him of whining, even though it wasn’t true. And her minions were all there watching and would spread the lies to all corners of the keep by next morning. They always did that, girls were just the worst!

    In the fourth match, Robert surprisingly won the first round despite being stingy with his special cards, then managed to beat Aly with overwhelming force in the second round. Aly did use a spy to draw two extra cards, and then used the Rebel Lord, three Scorpions and the Port Fortress card in a reprise of her previous strategy. She even deployed Biting Frost weather to make close combat cards impotent. But Robert deployed his Arryn King and the full Knight Muster again, then a Clear Weather that removed her Blizzard from play. With their strength matched, he then put down the Storm King, winning the round and the match, evening the score once again.

    “Your deck only got more aggressive and straightforward since last time.” Aly tsked. “How like a man.”

    “And yours is tricksy and dishonourable as if you can’t handle commanding proper forces.” Robert ignored the snide mutterings of the extras in the mummer’s play his life had become. “How like a girl.”

    The affronted gasps of Alyssa’s hangers-on were delightful.

    Unfortunately, Aly won the fifth match. Barely, but Robert’s hand really didn’t do him any favors. He got all of his weather cards in his deck on the draw, which left him just two troops to work with. One Storm Lord and the Storm King. He hung onto the latter until the very end, but Aly still managed to beat him with her two Footmen, the Striding Huntsman, and the boost from the Rally Horn.

    The sixth match, Robert drew and played the best hand he’d ever drawn. But then Aly gave him a Spy that let her draw two extra cards, used a decoy to remove his Ancient Dragon from the field, deployed The Shadow weather card to sap the strength of Robert’s First Man Chieftain, then played the Stygai Horror to match his own Legendary card, Garth Greenhand. To add insult to injury, she then overcame his war strength advantage from her own crippled Shadowbinder with the two cards that same spy had earned her: two lowly shepherds.

    Robert was getting worried. One more loss and he was out. Would Aly really follow through on her threat? Maybe he could talk her down to at least get the one card he originally came for – no! That’s quitter talk! He wasn’t gonna give up. War wasn’t over yet!

    On the seventh match, he threw round one, forced a draw on round two, and then won round three by suppressing the close combat boosts of her Rally Horn with his Tolling Bells, which acted as a morale equaliser for all troops that followed the Seven. With no weather cards in play, that left it down to direct matchup. Their siege and ranged forces were perfectly equal, so it came down to the close combat troops. And while her Hand of the King was better than his King of the Rivers and Ascending Spare individually, it just wasn’t as good as them together, let alone with the Storm King added on top of everything else.

    Eighth match was a wash. He got one win by beating her Bard Prince with his Storm King. A draw followed when he used Port Fortress to put his Storm Lord and Ballista on even footing with Aly’s Reach Lord and her two ballistas. The tie-breaker round, though… wasn’t. Robert had four cards left but Aly used her last card – a spy – to give him a small boost to strength in exchange for letting her draw two more cards. They happened to be Wildfire and the Dragonlord. She promptly disposed of his Kingsguard with the former, which put the latter on perfectly even footing with his Ascending Spare and Western Lord. They were both out of cards by the end with no winner. It was the first full match Robert had ever finished in a draw. It felt oddly disconcerting.

    Match nine he won by pure luck. They both waffled back and forth in the first two rounds, but on the third he was able to use the full Port Fortress, Storm Lord, two Ballistas and Knight Muster setup. Aly, unfortunately, had somehow suffered his prior misfortune and drawn a bunch of weather cards, leaving her only one troop, the Foppish Lord – a joke card if ever there was one. Robert, being a gallant knight-in-training, refrained from commenting on the number of days the man and his assuredly grand army would have had to sit in front of the keep he was supposedly besieging without doing anything. That was the only way he could see that bizarre matchup transcribe in real life.

    “Well,” Aly said upon reaching the final round. The sun had gone lower in the sky outside. The welcome feast would be called any minute. “Here it is.”

    “Here it is,” Robert muttered.

    They stared at each other and shuffled their decks with twice the fervour for three times as long as ever before. It was the only explanation for the strange hands they each drew.

    Round one, Robert’s assumptions about Alyssa changing her deck proved truer than he thought. After deploying his Storm King in close combat and a Galley in siege mode, Aly pulled three Red Priest cards out of nowhere – ranged troop it turned out – and then had the gall to use the Windstorm weather card, reducing the strength of all cards to one and winning by one point. To add insult to injury, the Red Priests had a special ability that they would return to her hand at the end of the turn. Just once, but that was already too much. It figured that she’d come up with such unfair cards. Fuming, Robert started round two by deploying a recent addition of his own – the Lore Thief – and using his special ability to return the Storm King from his graveyard. Coupled with a Clear Weather and his Noble Ward cards, it was enough to beat the three red priests she’d re-deployed. They’d be having words about cards with abilities like that and whether they should even exist (they didn’t!). The third round, though, was where the last and strangest matchup happened: Robert deployed the Legendary Bran the Builder and the Northern Blizzard weather card, which should have crippled any troops Aly could have pulled out. But then she pulled out the Last Greenseer, which was also a Legendary card – thus immune to weather effects – and while fairly weaker than his own, it also had the same ability as the Bard Prince to subvert enemy troops, except it could also reduce a troop of higher strength to 1 instead. Including Legendary ones.

    Robert stared at the card. He couldn’t help but feel as if the style it was drawn in was different from the other ones Alyssa had been pulling out of her backside. In fact, it looked a lot like the new ones that Robert had gotten through Ned from whoever was his supplier up in the North, back on Robert’s own name day.

    “Why so quiet?” Aly asked, not quite hiding that she was on the edge of her seat every bit as much as him. “Ready to give up?”

    Robert shook himself and revealed that the last card in his hand was not, in fact, a weather card. A sunbeam fell oddly appropriately upon the card as he revealed it, making it look as if it shone with its own light. Lightbringer. It enhanced a troop’s strength by half and allowed you to either equip it on an existing card or revive one from the graveyard. Robert chose the Storm King.

    “… I guess this means I win.”

    There was a pause.

    Then the suspense finally shattered and Robert was hard-pressed not to shake from his jitters. That had been intense.

    Well. Well then!

    “Good game,” Robert said weakly. “You cheated though. The Red Priests are unfair.”

    “On the contrary, I did nothing that violated the letter of the rules.”

    “Just its spirit,” Robert muttered, looking at the exquisitely hand-drawn and painted cards that he’d come here for, and which Alyssa had finally placed into his hands.

    He beamed at the first, gaped at the second, and glared at Aly with all his hate, “You damn woman! You tricked me!”

    “Did I? I beg to differ. The cards form the most perfect pair, and that’s a fact!”

    “… You fancy fat men, don’t you?”

    “… Get out.”

    Robert scoffed, scowled and left her room fuming, hurried to his room, and hid The Fat King in the deepest, darkest depths of his Grooming Kit. Nobody should find it there.

    That done, Robert made to leave, only to turn back to the kit and decide to brush his teeth since he was already there. He’d already done it twice that day, and was going to do it again before bed, but one more couldn’t hurt. He wasn’t no Stannis, but he wasn’t gonna be no Jon Arryn either. Not the Jon Arryn from before Ned anyway.

    The Jon Arryn from after Ned was alright.

    When he was done, Robert looked at his toothbrush thoughtfully, got some wrapping paper and packed the brush and a small chunk of toothpaste to carry with him just in case. Probably not what Ned had in mind for the things, but Robert was hard-pressed to think of better uses for the present Ned had given him on his name day.

    Then Robert took The Quiet Wolf and went to give Ned the present for his name day.
     
    Last edited:
    Chapter II.2: Grinding Teeth Do Not a Gay Storm Make (III)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    “-. 274 AC .-“


    Robert Baratheon barely had time to wonder at the strange face Ned made on seeing him approach when he spotted it. Right there over the open page of the small notebook Ned often read or scribbled in. The Fat King. A second Fat King. Robert gaped at it, aghast. Then he turned on Aly in fury. “You witch! You tricked me!”

    “Hardly. I never said I’d not make more than one.”

    “Cheat! Deceiver! Two-timing double-dealer!”

    “That implies effort. I assure you, it took none.”

    Robert gaped, then clamped his mouth shut and almost forgot not to grind his teeth. “You’re despicable.”

    “I beg to differ.”

    “You’ll get no alms from me!”

    “Pretending not to know figures of speech now? I assure you, you needn’t put effort into seeming foolish either.”

    “… Did you just call me stupid?”

    “Will you give alms if I beg to differ now?”

    Robert glowered. “You’re not poor enough for alms, so stop asking.”

    “My, so judgmental today.”

    “Go on, laugh. I’ll be the one laughing when all this fate tempting catches up with you.”

    Aly mock-gasped and hid her face behind that insufferably dainty fan that Ned had gifted her sometime or other. “Chrone guide me, I speak to a prophet!”

    Robert clenched his fists as Aly’s handmaidens began laughing at him. He didn’t resist when Ned began to steer him away by the shoulders. He’ll be damned if he went without getting at least one hit in though! “Don’t blame me when you’re dragged off by the mountain clans and made a broodmare with nothing to your name!”

    “That’ll be the day,” Aly giggled.

    Robert abruptly switched from being pushed to dragging Ned by the arm all the way to the other side of the Great Hall. “Girls are the worst.”

    “Are they really?” Asked Kyle Royce from where he leaned against the wall between Elbert and him. “What did they do?”

    “Sabotage of the worst kind!” Robert decried. “Deception most grim! Treachery most foul! The worst of-“

    “Aly gave me this,” Ned interrupted, holding up the-

    “No!” He snatched the card away. Safe!

    “Oh, she gave you one too?” Elbert asked, feeling brave thanks to having Royce to hide behind. He started rifling through his pockets because he never remembered what he put where and-

    Wait a minute! “What do you mean, one too?”

    Elbert finally pulled his hand out and held up the Fat K-

    “NO!” Robert snatched that too.

    “Hey, that’s mine!”

    “And now it’s not!”

    “Give it back!”

    Whoa, that’s some mighty backbone all of a sudden. Gods, don’t tell him this is all it took all along, the runt looked like he about to cry. You’d think it was the only card he had – oh wait, it was. Softbeak didn’t have his own deck yet, doh! Still though… “You can have it back after you swear to never show it to anyone again!”

    “Robert.” Ned’s tone could not be misunderstood.

    “… Fine,” Robert grumbled and reluctantly handed the cards back. How many of those horrors had that witch cursed him with? Leader cards were supposed to be unique, Ned said so! Not that Robert would ever accept that as his leader card. “Take your abominations! That’s nothing like I’ll be when I grow up anyway.”

    Ned took his idly.

    Elbert snatched his away as if he expected Robert to tear or burn it. “… The Fat King is you?”

    Robert growled. “That’ll never be me. The Storm King is what I’ll be, not… that! I swear, Aly didn’t used to be like this.”

    Kyle smirked. “What’s this? The Great Storm King agonising over his first crush?”

    “Maybe if it were the Aly of last year,” Robert harrumphed. “This one’s just mean.” He belatedly noticed Royce looking mighty surprised. “What’s with that face?”

    “… Nothing.”

    Robert eyed him suspiciously. “You fancy her don’t you?”

    Kyle looked as though he’d expected Robert to say something else, made to deny, stopped, and narrowed his eyes. “Jealous?”

    “You wish! You’re not her type.”

    “What the heck is that supposed to mean, brat?”

    “You’re not fat enough for her.”

    The open-mouthed shock on the older boy’s face was delightful. “What? You slanderous little-”

    “She fancies fat men,” Robert gloated. “Fat grownup me most of all!”

    Kyle gaped at him in disbelief, then his face grew dark. For a moment, Robert thought he’d jump him right then and there, before the older boy controlled himself and decided to leave it for the yard as usual. “… I’ll get to the bottom of this. Then you’ll get yours.”

    Watching Royce head off to find the damn witch, Robert made no attempt to smother his cackling. Being already fourteen and having finished his growth spurt besides, Kyle Royce hadn’t missed a chance to talk down to the rest of them since he first showed up with his uncle Yohn’s party. Ned was right: turnabout really was fair play. Even when it wasn’t at the end of his hammer.

    The red faces of the girls as Royce went and stumbled his way through ‘getting to the bottom of this’ were almost too good for words. Almost.

    “So Ned,” Robert asked. “Is this meaningful enough to record in your mysterious notebook of mystery?”

    “No.”

    Mom, Dad, Ned’s being mean to me!

    Not for the first time, Robert tried and failed to catch a glimpse of something, anything, but Ned snapped shut the notebook and put it back in the inner pocket of that fancy Northern jacket of his.

    Foiled!

    Foiled by silver buttons and lace! Like a woman!

    Snatching a drumstick from a passing trencher, Robert took a nice, solid bite and let the taste of chicken remind him of the less embarrassing things in life. Like how well his present to Ned landed. Well, the decoy gift anyway. It turned out that Ned absolutely loved the idea of having a Leader card based off him. He wasn’t at all tickled by the “Quiet Wolf” name Robert had chosen for it, made a mighty strange face at it even, but that was the whole point – somebody had to make it clear how much easier Robert’s life would be if Ned backed off every once in a while, instead of being up Robert’s arse all the time. Whatever that meant that made Jon glare at Denys that once last week. Not that Ned was likely to change just because Robert whined about it – nor should he! He was perfect just the way he was! – but he took the jape in good spirits, which was the other whole point. A sense of humor like that had to be kept in practice you know! Who better for the job than someone that lived the end result of its stillbirth all his life? No one, that’s who!

    Robert looked around the hall. Jon had decided to throw a joust for Ned’s twelfth name day celebration but treated it like part and parcel of the Spring Festival he threw at the same time. It was Jon’s way to introduce Ned (and Robert) to the realm early, but without actually putting them on the spot. Not that much anyway. And Softbeak too, Robert supposed. So there would be a joust, a melee, and every day a feast like this one with meat and mead and dancing and cake. The fact that everything revolved around Ned and the gifts he’d be getting from everyone and their grandmother was just a coincidence. Really.

    It was just as well, Robert supposed. Robert was well past twelve and Ned had just turned eleven. They were too old to be pages, too important to squire off, too young to be knights, and well short of their fifteenth year when official debut celebrations otherwise happened. They did happen that way, right? Or was that just for the girls? Oh well, there was probably something, and that something was too far off. Especially for Softbeak. Half-pint was only turning eight later in the year.

    Robert wasn’t particularly happy to be playing side-dish to Ned, but he wasn’t going to complain after what all he spent his prior year on that killed any plans to have something like this for him. If there’d even been any in the middle of winter. Besides, if everything went poorly enough, Ned would soon be a side dish to his own celebration too, or his name wasn’t Robert Baratheon!

    There were still three courses to go, but Jon had long since given the signal that people could stop being glued to their seats, so everyone mingled, caroused and danced all over the place. And everywhere, barely one in five hands went without a cup of wine or liquor of some kind. Robert couldn’t wait until he was old enough to drink, it looked like so much fun! The way they japed and sniped and slurred and challenged each other to duels all over the place, only to postpone it for later because none of them could hold a straight line! And the random brawls that got the guards involved with all their spite at not being made party to the party, it was great!

    Unlike his friends, Robert even had an idea of what it would feel like to drink like a real man. That medicine old Cressen put him on that one time had given him the funniest couple of days ever. Warm honeyed milk just wasn’t a good replacement. None of the apple ciders measured up either, and don’t even get him started on sweet vinegar.

    Oh well! More time to study his future competition with a clear head. Competition who were finally bringing out the gifts! Not that any of them would be more than a passing fart compared to his real present to Ned, but Robert decided to be magnanimous and allow these Valemen their delusions. This once.

    He also decided to keep an ear on what Kyle told Elbert about everyone who came up, even if he pretended otherwise. Robert and books weren’t on good terms, but that didn’t mean he lacked other options anymore. Not since Ned joined him in his lessons and decided to start reading aloud one day. Robert had no idea why that made such a big difference, it wasn’t like dull books stopped being dull when read by someone else. Granted, that just led to different problems where Robert kept getting distracted by random things that didn’t make sense in the latest book or scroll. Usually because of what all Ned had read in the previous ones. It led to some mighty heated rounds of twenty thousand questions with an increasingly flustered Maester that got longer and louder with each day that went by. To Robert’s shame, Ned had to come to the rescue again, though at least it was the Maester’s rescue he came to this time. Which is to say, a day after saying he’ll ‘sleep on it,’ Ned got Jon to move their lessons to a bigger, more airy room that later began to accumulate various ‘fitness and exercise equipment’ shipped down from Winterfell. For Robert to work a sweat in. During lessons.

    Apparently, keeping Robert’s brain constantly ‘distracted’ with exercise made it so the rest of it didn’t get distracted from the learning bits. Somehow. Turns out Robert had too much going on inside his head, instead of too little. Who knew?

    What do you mean, who knew? Ned knew, that’s who!

    The only bad side was that all the extra workout meant Robert was rapidly leaving Ned in the dust in the yard. It was terrible! He eventually swallowed his pride and went to Denys, then Ser Vardis – Jon’s Captain of the Guards – and even Jon himself for help, but all he got was some reassurance about developing at different rates and how they’d have time to make up the difference as they grew up. How was that supposed to help? Jon was basically saying Robert had years ahead where he would be a cheater. A no good burden. A sodding leech! A tarnish on literal perfection! He didn’t want to wait for years before Ned could be perfect again, he wanted Ned to be perfect again now. Jon was the worst!

    And now Robert was getting distracted again! During Ned’s day! Next thing he knows he’ll ruin this for him too. Not that Kyle’s running ramblings didn’t give him a whole other slew of reasons to be distracted, considering who’d just come up to give Ned his first present.

    Lord Yohn Royce approached, the Lord of Runestone and the head of the senior branch of House Royce, who used to be the Bronze Kings of the First Men before the Andals came tromping into the Vale. He was a proud, formidable man taller than everyone else in the hall, with dark hair, slate-grey eyes and bushy eyebrows. He also spoke with a deep, booming voice which Robert looked forward to hearing holler in the joust and the melee. Almost as much as he looked forward to seeing that ancient, rune-covered bronze armor he was supposed to have. Not that the man was ever going to measure up to real heroes – like Robert’s father – but then again, who would? Lord Yohn was helped by his son, Andar, to bring and open the gift chest, which turned out to hold a set of practice weapons, an arming sword for when Ned grew older, and a whole bunch of toys and games (checkers, marbles, toy knights, a bunch of paper windmills and whatever else filled that chest that couldn’t be seen because of the top layer). Then Lord Yohn revealed that the satchel at his side held the handwritten journals of Lady Lorra Royce, who was apparently Ned’s great-great-grandmother. Robert hadn’t known that.

    “These were sent back to our family in the wake of her passing. Copies should exist in Winterfell, have you had the chance to examine them?”

    “Only in passing, the once,” Ned admitted. “But they were done in a very small script, and my reading is only now achieving true fluency.”

    That was a terrible, vicious lie! Ned’s reading was perfect or his name wasn’t Ro-

    “I believe you will appreciate the originals then. Lady Lorra had a particularly elegant hand.” Lord Yohn smiled faintly and leaned forward to speak to Ned quietly. Except he was Yohn Royce, so he didn’t manage quiet well at all. Robert heard everything despite not being all that close by. “It would be a shame to pass over the chance to read the account of Dunk and Egg’s northern adventures first-hand.”

    Robert thought he was dreaming. Dunk and Egg. Duncan the Tall and Aegon Targaryen, Fifth of His Name. Robert’s mother Casanna had only ever read him the first three accounts, chronicling Duncan’s life from his hedge knight days to his time as a mystery knight during the Blackfyre Rebellion. She told him that anything from later in his life either hadn’t been written or was being kept secret. By the Crown, the Citadel, the Faith, maybe Bloodraven had done or ordered something before he was disgraced, even she didn’t know for sure. But now the fourth had just been handed to Ned as a name day gift. Robert immediately began coming up with plans to get Ned to read it as soon as they were back in-

    Yohn Royce stepped back and gestured for one of his vassals to deliver the second part of his gift. Uthor Tollett, head of House Tollett and the Lord of Grey Glen. The man and Andar brought over an even bigger chest than Yohn’s first, which proved to be full of hunting equipment. Shortbow, quiver, arrows, hunting knife and every kind of trap out there. Bear traps, body grip traps, coon traps, coil traps, spring traps, gopher traps, even the components for a large live cage trap were in there, big enough to catch a doe inside. All in all, very nice. Robert certainly looked forward to going hunting with Ned now. Soon as Jon decides to teach them how at least.

    Alas that Kyle’s remarks hit on the bizarre at just the wrong time. Or the right one, if you asked Denys. Something that made Robert really wonder how the Tollets ended up sworn to the Royces at all, seeing as that were as Andal as they came. Torgold "the Grim" Tollett was even one of the casualties of the Battle of the Seven Stars on the Andal side. The same battle that supposedly eradicated fourteen First Men houses and forced everyone left who didn’t run to become mountain clans – including Belmores, Hunters, Coldwaters, Redforts, and, yes, the Royces – to bow to the Andals. Before the actual crowning of Artys Arryn as the first King of Mountain and Vale, though maybe Robert was nitpicking there depending on how soon after the fight that happened. It still made a mockery of all written history though, that the Andal house who won and suffered (one of?) the biggest grievance during that battle still ended up somehow sworn to the defeated Royces. Maybe it happened later, but that only sounded like an even more convoluted story. Speaking of Royces...

    Nestor Royce came next, Yohn’s cousin and senior member of the foremost Royce cadet family. He was a big – though not Steffon Baratheon big of course – and barrel-chested man, with hair and beard even darker than his cousin’s. While he was presenting Ned with a leathern tunic done in Stark grey, as well as a set of rune-inscribed charms, scaredy Elbert somehow found the balls to ask Kyle if it was true Lord Nestor had a mole. Kyle didn’t answer, which was probably for the best. If the man did, it was either hidden by his beard, or was in more nethersome regions of his bulk that little Softbeak was better off not thinking about.

    The people who followed were fairly boring compared to the ones before them. Horton Redfort was a short, ageing man with mild eyes, a well-kept beard and a polite manner that made him less interesting than the pock-faced squire lugging along his gift – a wooden model of the Redfort and a small army of miniature wooden knights and men-at-arms. After him came Elbert’s uncle, the fat Lord of Strongsong, Benedar Belmore, who lumbered over while dragging along a wheeled chest full of clay building blocks. Ned seemed really impressed with their fit, saying something about how hard it was to build many different shapes like that and still have them fit without something called ‘standardization.’ What army standards had to do with anything, Robert hadn’t the foggiest, but this was Ned, so it was probably something brilliant. After Lord Belmore gave Elbert a few headpats and went to chat with Lord Yohn, Marq Grafton of Gulltown came next, a wide man with thick arms and shoulders – still nothing compared to Dad – dirty blond hair and a voice that seemed to be trying to compete with Lord Yohn’s. He and his son Gerold, who took after him in everything except height, were fairly cool towards Ned, but that didn’t stop them from boasting about the cartful of rare sweets, foreign foods and spices they had brought but was too large and ungainly to bring inside beyond these here samples, but please, do all you boys try them, even these sprinkles are more than enough for everyone. Lord Marq also offered to let Gerold stay behind when he left, as a companion to them. There was a noticeable spell of tension upon Lord Grafton’s offer.

    “The Graftons aren’t exactly fond of House Aryyn,” Kyle murmured as the man and his son withdrew. “The higher you go on the ladder of nobility, the worse traders are looked down on, and then there’s the whole matter of the branch Arryns in Gulltown that the Graftons have a love-hate relationship with. Besides, making such a public offer without discussing it with the other party beforehand is a big no-no, especially when the other party is your liege lord.”

    A shame. Robert wouldn’t have minded Gerold staying, he’d seemed nice in the brief time they’d spent together during the feast, asking Robert all sorts of stories about home and promising in return to tell stories about Ser Gerold Grafton, the great Andal knight that founded their house by imitating Lann the Clever and tricking King Osgood Shett of Gulltown out of everything he had.

    Lyndon Corbray came next, Lord of House Corbray of Heart’s Home. He was accompanied by his sons, Lyonel and Lyn. They gave Ned a dark cloak with a brooch shaped like a wolf’s head – boring! – and a pair of thumbless gloves meant to stand for the Fingers, the sharp peninsulas that the Corbrays ruled as Kings for a while there, after turning on the Shells and Brightstones, First Men kings that brought them over from Andalos to begin with. Robert would have left the index finger bare instead of the thumb, so Ned would at least have something free to scratch himself with, but he’d long since given up on expecting common sense from Valemen. Robert half hoped Ned would ask to see Lady Forlorn, but he didn’t, so Robert had to settle for waiting for the tourney to see the Valyrian steel blade.

    After the Corbrays came Lord Osmond Elesham, Lord of the Paps, though it was his two nephews that lugged forth the gift – a splendid sled big enough for three people, or five children. Lord Elesham was married to one of Aly’s older sisters, but Robert didn’t remember them spending any time together, which was strange. Maybe Kyle was right that the man resented being stuck with a wife that turned out to be barren, but Robert didn’t care about that. What he did care about was being this close to making a snide remark or five.

    There was a storm gathering at his breast, thick and churning.

    The gathering storm cloud was briefly blown away by Lady Hersy of Newkeep, who approached with a gift befitting her family’s banner of a white winged chalice on a pink field. She gifted one large brass chalice full of Qartheen delight. On the one hand, Robert was out to prove he was a big boy now. On the other hand, that gift was practically made for Robert instead of Ned and his mouth instantly watered, which Ned noticed as easily as he did everything else. He held out the chalice for Robert to help himself, which he promptly did instead of manfully deferring because his flesh was weak. Weak!

    Unfortunately, Jon was quick to signal one of the help to take the rest away before Robert embarrassed himself further and wait a minute, not embarrassing himself was a good thing!

    After Robert’s… lapse… came Lord Eon Hunter, the Lord of Longbow Hall. Strangely, he wasn’t accompanied by either of his three sons despite being older than Jon and suffering the beginning stages of gout. Why weren’t – oh, they were drunk off their arses. All over each other way in the corner. Huh. Shame for the big one’s cloak, ermine fur and wine did not mix well. Vomit either. Robert was surprised Lord Hunter was able to keep a straight face while giving Ned his gift, which turned out to be a very pretty lute, complete with two sets of spare strings.

    “Heard about all the new music turning up in the North,” the main grunted as he stepped on the wrong sore. “If you ever decide to bring any of it down here, I’d like to hear it.”

    The North had new music? This was the first time Robert heard about it.

    “I’ve not any particular talent for instruments,” Ned admitted ruefully. “Though I’ve been told my ability to voice a tune is at least decent, and I did just receive orders from my brother Brandon to stop having shouting matches until after my voice breaks, lest I lose my ability to sing entirely.” He did? You could lose your singing voice forever? No, that couldn’t happen, not to Ned! “I’ll try to be better prepared for you next time you visit.”

    “Good lad.”

    He was just looking to benefit off his own gift, the fiend!

    The storm had just about built up to twice its previous clamour when Lady Sara Melcolm of Old Anchor took her turn after, a girl brown of hair, tan-skinned, and surprisingly young. Young enough to still need her uncle to act as regent actually. Probably no older than Robert, now that he saw her properly. She still approached in person, though, and gave Ned a wooden model of a war galley with three masts and one hundred oars. Finally! Someone who got the point of all this! That deserved rewarding and then some, didn’t it? But how? With what? Cake? A play date? A serenade under the light of the moon? Damn, how was he going to choose out of so many good ideas?

    “Do I offend, Lord Robert?”

    Oh boy, he’d been staring at her! Evade, parry, deflect! “How would you like Lady Aly to visit you for a while?” Wait, that was actually a great idea! It would give Lady Sara a bunch of new friends to distract her from whatever left her an orphan and put Aly and the Gruesome Gigglesomes out of his misery for a month or five. “She’s been so out of sorts that I actually heard her praying to the Chrone for guidance. A pretty maiden like her, praying to the Chrone. I can’t stand a moment more of such dolour!” Robert clasped her hand in both of his and gazed at her soulfully – don’t you judge him, this is his life they were talking about! “Might my lady suffer this desperate fool’s plea and talk to her? For my sake, if not hers!”

    Lady Sara blinked several times and then turned to hide her face behind her other hand, her tan growing a couple of shades darker. “… A-after such a soulful display, I suppose I must at least consider it.”

    Robert beamed and most gallantly kissed the back of her hand.

    Lady Sara retreated with the most terrible decorum, got a hold of herself, and then all but marched to where Aly and her evil coterie were gossiping.

    Success!

    Alas, the storm clouds were soon simmering inside him once again, because the gift giving just couldn’t finish without people going back to completely missing the point. Granted, Robert didn’t exactly have any hopes for the Templetons. Alright, that was a lie, the Templetons were related to Ned – through a daughter of Benedict Royce and Jocelyn Stark, thank you Kyle – but Robert didn’t have a good opinion of the current head of House Templeton. Ser Symond had a beaked nose even bigger and uglier than Jon’s, and his blue eyes were so cold that it was a wonder the man brought any gifts at all. But he did – the Knight of Ninestars couldn’t fail to rise to the occasion, Robert thought sullenly, it was a matter of honor after all. Bringing out nine different sets of nine toy soldiers to play War – each in the colors of the seven kingdoms plus the Crownlands and Iron Islands – was surely just his way to cover all his bases. It certainly wasn’t just another way to shove it in everyone else’s face that a house of mere knights was as powerful or more than most other Vale lords. It certainly wasn’t just a way to kiss the arse of everyone on the other side of the big box of toy soldiers that wasn’t Eddard Stark. Robert couldn’t understand how Ned still kept up his airs of oh so solemn appreciation. That his face didn’t even flicker at the last present was something Robert understood even less.

    Three sets of hawking equipment. From Elys Waynwood and Alys Arryn of all people, the Lord and Lady of Ironoaks, Alyssa’s parents. Jon’s own sister and goodson. Hoods, leg bells, jesses, scales, gauntlets, creances, all of them in threes. Threes. Ned thanked the both of them for such a thoughtful gift. For the bonding opportunities it would give him and Jon and the rest of them. As the storm began to bubble over, Robert thought dimly about how that was just the latest of a whole bunch of gifts that were a better fit for him than Ned.

    Jon was giving a speech now. Kyle was saying something too, about two major Houses that hadn’t come forward with any gifts or whatever. But at that point Robert wasn’t listening anymore because he’d had enough.

    He took Lord Yohn’s book satchel and put it on the floor, did the same to Ned’s new lute and clothes, gave the ship model to a confused Kyle to hold, then he grabbed the edge of the table and heaved.

    The table flipped and smashed on top of the scattering gifts with a rattling crash.

    The Great Hall of the Gates of the Moon saw a deluge of gasps, shrieks and spittakes before all gave way to a silence so deep that even the bleakest funerals and wakes back in Storm’s End didn’t compare. And as the eyes of everyone turned on him with everything from confused mortification to apoplectic rage, Robert Baratheon wondered, midst inner gales and thunderclaps, when and how these mighty high men had built such taste for arse.

    “ROBERT!” Ware, ware! Hailstorm inbound! Alert, alert, sound the bells! “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?”

    “Why Jon, I’m only following your vassals’ example!” Robert moved to stand between Ned and the rest of the hall. “I know great minds think alike, but I’m not all that chuffed at having my grand plan pre-empted so many times in the same day. Oh well, at least I can figure out the proper arse to kiss! Or should I just stand by doing nothing while everyone’s throwing insults in Ned’s face?”

    Jon Arryn had to visibly force down what Robert realized was the real first loss of temper he had seen from him in his entire life. “Explain. Now.”

    “Explain? Explain this shit!” Robert kicked the pile of Lord Belmore’s building blocks. They knocked around some of the toy knights as they scattered before him. “Look at this shit. Look at all these perfect gifts! Perfect for me. My favourite toys, my favourite sweets, everything at least three times over so it’s clear who’s really getting honors here. Because why the hells not? What does a snub or ten to the Northern spare matter? Why should making an afterthought of House Arryn’s heir matter even? I’m Robert Fucking Baratheon, firstborn of Steffon Baratehon, Lord Paramount of the Stormlands and Hand of the Fucking King! Now come over here and kiss my arse some more, you shits!” Robert glared at the Waynwoods – Jon’s own sister and goodson, how could they? “As High as Honor, those are House Arryn’s words, aren’t they? Well if that’s true, the honor of the Vale must sure hang low. My father warned me this might happen. I’ll never doubt him again.”

    It was outrageous how his last words made the whole hall blanch. How it blasted away what had till then looked fit to become the biggest rumpus of the past hundred years.

    “Now you’re worried!” Robert spat.

    “Robert,” Ned sighed behind him. Robert didn’t need to turn around to know he was pinching his nose. “I was going to bring this up later. In private.”

    “Of course you were,” Robert bit out, baring his teeth at the crowd. “Your honor’s real, and all you ever want is peace and quiet!”

    There was no reply from behind him. Those greasy, lying shitbags, they really had hurt Ned’s feelings if he wasn’t browbeating Robert by now. Robert didn’t know what was worse: that Ned didn’t want to stop him, or that he was so off-balance that he couldn’t come up with the right words. He always had the right words.

    For the longest time, no one said anything. Scattered murmurs sounded once or twice, but otherwise people just seemed stuck looking like they were getting the shits.

    “By the seven hells, you Valemen are all hopeless,” Robert groaned. “Well fine then! Seeing as nobody here knows how to kiss proper arse, I’ll show you how it’s done! Lord Eddard!” Robert turned on his heel. “You once told me you only want from life two things: peace and quiet. I’ll die before I give you the second – I know my limits! - but I’ll damn well make sure you get the first! I beg you, then, forgive this one’s deception! I’ve done you false all along! My earlier present wasn’t my real present! This is my true gift for your day of twelve years!” Robert stepped forward and grandly pulled a small box of cherry wood from his secret pocket. “Truth…” Then he stepped past Ned, took a knee before Elbert Arryn and held up his gift in entreaty. “… and Reconciliation!”

    If the quiet of earlier was supposed to be like a tomb, Robert didn’t know where to even start describing this one.

    “Young Falcon!” Robert cried dramatically to the sound of Jon Arryn slapping his forehead in the background. “Forgive this boor’s oafishness! I have been remiss! Rude, scathing, derisive, scurrilous, obloquious, contumelious!” That’s how you use big words you dumb shits! “But I have seen the light! I submit myself for whatever games you’d like to play in retribution! All of them, in whichever part it pleases you best! Come-into-my-castle, monsters-and-maidens, hide-the-treasure, hopfrog, spin-the-sword, rats and cats, whatever you want! Though of course, you could always join Lord Eddard and I in our games. Like this one! This one right here in my hand… That you’re still not reaching out to take. Oh come on, it’s not like it’s poisoned or anything!”

    Elbert Arryn looked like he wanted to be swallowed by the ground and die.

    “… Then again, I suppose this is all a bit sudden, so I guess I can still hold onto this until-“

    “NO!” Elbert snatched it away.

    Well now! Robert grinned and bounced back to his feet. “You see, Ned? You see that? Softbeak does have a backbone! He was just born wrong so he can’t use it proper unless it’s for the sake of someone else!” There was the sound of a second palm slapping Jon’s face in the background, joined by Ned a moment later. “Oh go suck a carrot or something, both of you! You can’t even take compliments now? What’ll it take with you people!? You don’t see Elbert whining about me doing this for you more than him, do you? I mean, it’s true, but it’s not like he earned it – which is fine! Elbert, you’re eight! No one expects you to earn anything!”

    Elbert was looking at Robert as if he had an arse for a head and a gut ending in ten octopus arms with suckers full of lemons. It made him feel weird, especially when wobbly words started coming out of that weepy face and- “… Y-you’re a h-horrible person.”

    “Oh, will you just – I’m teaching a lesson in shame here! The least you could do is help me! It’s not like I’m asking you to ‘train our command voice’ at dawn so we’d wake up the whole keep because Jon doesn’t have a cock worth a damn!” Robert hadn’t known that silence could feel like anything, but now he could swear it felt mortified. Robert glared everywhere he could turn his head. “A rooster! I meant a rooster, obviously, get you minds out of the gutter!”

    Ned slapped him on the shoulder. “Now who’s hopeless?”

    Robert barely felt it but rubbed the spot anyway, Ned had an image to maintain you know! He still scowled at Softbeak though. And when that didn’t do anything but make the runt look like he would burst into tears despite getting his own Gwent deck, which should’ve had him shedding tears of joy by now instead, he huffed. “Still waiting for a yes or no.”

    “W-what?”

    “Is that a no to joining Ned and me in our games?”

    “Yes! I mean no! I… I mean…”

    Robert waited. He crossed his arms in front of him. He crossed his hands behind his back. His foot started tapping on the floor. He-

    “Elbert,” Ned sighed as he put himself between Robert and him, even though Kyle hadn’t moved an inch from where he was still- “Please forgive Robert. He’s not a bad lad, he’s just a moron.”

    “AM NOT!”

    “And he forgets things sometimes,” Ned ground out so much like Stannis that no, NO- “Like how he himself wasn’t comfortable working numbers in his head until he was almost ten.” Ned’s glare could have curdled milk, but there wasn’t any on hand so it only curdled Robert’s stomach. Crapbaskets! Elbert was literally hopeless without the two of them, how the hells had Robert overestimated him? It made no sense! It- “That said, in this he happens to have a point, even if his choice of game could have been better. Fortunately, us men of the North are always prepared.” Thus saying, Ned reached into a second secret pocket and produced a different deck of cards that Robert had never seen in his life. “Like Gwent, this game has never seen the outside of House Stark before now.” Wait, what? “Unlike Gwent, Pazaak doesn’t teach strategy. It teaches numbers and tactics. It would be the best gift you could ever give me, Elbert, if you were to indulge my wish for a game or three. I’d meant to make it a tournament. My brother Brandon went to so much trouble to make ten different decks in his own hand – this and Gwent both. He even procured special cards to give out as prizes.” Ned smiled. It looked positively vicious. “Alas, I’m not as hopeful anymore that there are people enough in this hall of the same mind as myself.”

    …Ned was perfect!

    Feeling like his grin might split his face if he didn’t do something quick, Robert turned back to the rest of the hall and smirked. “That’s how you do it!”

    There seemed to have been a major reshuffling of people while Robert wasn’t looking. Now those people stared at each other. Shocked. Angry. Accusing. Robert spent a few blissful minutes sneering at all of them while daydreaming about how he’d tell this story to his mother and father later. Alas, he decided he’d never be able to do it justice. You simply had to be there.

    Then Lord Waynwood stepped forward, bowed deeply before Ned and apologised.

    Robert was shocked. He didn’t expect anyone to actually do it!

    He’d have said no too. They didn’t really mean it.

    But Ned graciously accepted and then invited Elys to play a game.

    And as the first apology gave way to a second and third and then every last one of the others like that game of dominoes Ned had mentioned that time, Kyle Royce looked at Robert wide-eyed and finally remembered he could speak. “Holy shit, Baratheon. You just won the Vale.”

    He did? What was he saying, of course he did! He was Robert Fucking Baratheon!

    But this was Ned’s day, so Robert decided not to tout his own horn. This once.

    He sauntered over to where Jon was barking orders to the help cleaning his mess instead. “Hey Jon!”

    “…Robert.”

    “I’m going outside to find Shaggy.”

    “…Go.”

    He went.
     
    Last edited:
    Chapter II.2: Grinding Teeth Do Not a Gay Storm Make (IV)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    A/N: Well, took me a while, but this part's finally done. Two more of Robert (I think) and then it's back in the North for a bit. Next up we're jumping all the way to 278 AC.

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    WK1yzDR.jpg


    “-. 274 AC .-“


    He found Shaggy. Shaggy gave him a toy griffin carved by his own hand. It was even painted. Pretty well too, in white, grey, and gold for the eyes. One could spot Aly’s handiwork a league away.

    Robert was pissed to the seventh hell. That Shaggy had also brought a lifelike toy raven for Robert to give Ned only made Robert madder. And no, the fact that the raven’s head, legs and wings moved didn’t make up for it none, because Robert’s griffin was the same and it even had four legs that moved, so it was actually better than Ned’s present! Again!

    Robert stared at the man, then turned around without accepting either gift and went back inside. He could understand all them holier-than-barths in there, but even Shaggy didn’t get it? What even was this? Forget basic decency, where was all the low cunning? Where was the common sense? Gods!

    Unfortunately, things had gotten away from him in his absence. Ned ended up getting his two card game tournaments after all – which was good! – but it also left all the smartarses free to spew nonsense about how Robert’s whole ‘spectacle’ had surely been a mummery from the start to finish – which was a lying lie!

    Spectacle! Mummery! Him! The nerve of them!

    Robert seethed quietly. At the nobles. At their brownnosing. And himself for expecting better from Shaggy. At Shaggy too! But it was exhausting and he was never one to seethe quietly when there was a perfectly acceptable target for his righteous anger, so he went back outside to give Shaggy his proper what for.

    “Not to upset you none, little lord,” Shaggy said on Robert giving him his proper what for. “But I don’t care about the Stark. I don’t care about anyone here really. You saved me. I only care about you.”

    Well shucks, what was he supposed to say to that?

    Robert sullenly accepted the gifts, went to his room and hid the griffin under the bed before he returned to the great hall to give Ned his raven. He never got around to it though. The Pazaak tournament had long since ended – Lord Marq Grafton won that one, to Robert’s annoyance – but the Gwent tournament seemed to just be entering the semifinals. Robert put the raven with Ned’s other gifts (what few of them were still out in the open after Robert’s righteous retribution of rectitude) and went to find his friends while the matches finished. He found Softbeak eventually, but Kyle was nowhere to be seen and Ned was busy refereeing. Robert grumbled a bit about people being so useless that they needed to put the nameday boy to work, but Ned seemed to be in good spirits so he didn’t make a fuss this time.

    In the end, it came down to Lord Royce against Jon. Both had Vale decks, though Lord Royce seemed to have swapped all the base cards he could for First Men auxiliaries. Jon won, but only because he had a spy that let him draw Artys Arryn out of nowhere and deploy him alongside his three Knight Lords, while his opponent didn’t get any of his legendary cards. Lord Yohn still almost won with a combo of the Bronze King and three First Man Chieftains, but even with a scorpion in siege he fell one point short in the end, and that was that.

    Robert didn’t know who started the chant, but that’s when people started to call for a game between the winner and Ned. The bastards, they still wanted Ned humiliated! Robert was this close to bursting into another rant about them wanting to get back at Robert through Ned, but Ned shrugged and agreed before he could. Joke ended up being on them, though, because all the age and trickery in the world didn’t prove enough to topple experience.

    The smugness Robert felt on Jon losing seven games in a row was too good for words.

    It was only afterwards that Robert found out that was an almost perfect mirror of what happened right after he left the first time. Jon had played against Ned and lost seven times in a row. Even with Ned strengthening Jon’s deck after every loss with one of the special cards, he still only eked out a win on the eight set, and even then just barely. Jon, to his credit, vowed to get his own back, and without the extra help. To hear Softbeak say it – he wasn’t tongue-tied around him no more! – that was Jon’s way to get Ned his contests after all. Robert was surprised to not feel surprised that Jon would do something like that. Then again, he supposed Jon was living up to his House words unlike all his lords. As long as he didn’t begrudge his failure to get his own back. Wasn’t he the one that always crowed about the worth of experience?

    Oh well! At least Ned got his Pazaak tournament. And then the Gwent tournament since Ned’s brother had sent him ten of those sets too, one faction corresponding to each of the seven kingdoms, plus three decks of neutral cards for people to customise their sets if they wanted, like Lord Yohn had. Ned had been pretty vicious about it too, to hear Elbert repeat it. Which he did word for word.

    “I’ve submitted to your notion of honor long enough,” Ebert said with a terrible attempt at imitating Ned’s voice. “Now, you’ll submit to mine.”

    Robert was almost sorry it wasn’t his day so he could get in a good gloat. He settled for watching everyone else for tricks instead. Someone had to watch out for Ned when he was distracted you know! Not that there was much happening with everyone watching the show.

    Though there was that thing Robert spotted from the corner of his eye. Lord Elys, that is, who’d been talking to a certain Lady Melcolm and her regent uncle. Robert watched as the man went to talk to Alyssa about something that Robert didn’t need to guess when she gaped, turned and glared at Robert with all her hate. Ha! Now that was a look worthy of going down in Ned’s mysterious notebook of mystery!

    Robert waited for her to meet his eyes and then smirked at her. Wasn’t it just grand when everything worked itself out?

    Unfortunately, busy as he was gloating at Aly across the entirety of the Great Hall, Robert missed a different commotion happening opposite from it. And Ned was right in the middle of it.

    Robert shot Elbert a look before quickly making his way over. Well, soon as he wrapped an arm around Softbeak to make sure he didn’t get misplaced. He wasn’t going to leave him on his own in this den of false sheep. Ned would be disappointed if Robert went back to being a knight in not-so-shiny armor, especially after his big show of ultimate chivalry. Not that Robert needed the incentive. Elbert was their baby.

    As it happened, Kyle turned out to be there already, near his uncle Yohn. And he was not happy.

    “What’s happening?” Robert murmured quietly – he could so talk quietly, shut up!

    “Bad news,” Kyle muttered, his voice as dark as his uncle’s face next to him. When he opened his mouth to continue, though, Lord Yohn sent him a glare that struck him silent.

    Robert looked ahead to the odd standoff that had swept aside what should have been the cheers after Ned and Jon’s great game of war.

    Jon and Ned on one side. On the other, a big, greying-haired, balding, fleshy man with big shoulders, black eyes, thick lips and – Robert squinted – webbing between the middle three fingers of his right hand. He’d thought the Sistermen’s mark was just a story! And he had to be from the Three Sisters, the white crab on grey was from one of them isles, wasn’t it?

    “Lord Godric Borrell,” Kyle murmured. “Lord of Sweetsister, Shield of Sisterton, Master of Breakwater Castle, Keeper of the Night Lamp.”

    One of the two Houses that didn’t present Ned with anything, Robert recalled, the other being his sworn lord Triston Sunderland.

    Lord Yohn ushered them to the side of the hall while Jon exchanged terse words with the ugly man. Didn’t stop Kyle from regaling Robert and Elbert about all the things known and unknown about the sisterman, who apparently liked storms and his sister’s stew, but hated Northmen and was more of a robber and wrecker that used false lights during storms to lure approaching ships to their doom, instead of letting them guide their way by the light of the Night Lamp as he should and Lord Yohn shut Kyle up with a glare again because Kyle gossiped worse than Aly on toffees, honestly. Not that Robert was going to say so.

    Never interrupt your enemy while he’s making a mistake, Ned and Dad said so! Not that Kyle was an enemy, maybe, but he hadn’t proven himself an ally either. He’d ditched Softbeak!

    Robert turned his ear to the other people around them. They weren’t as keen on keeping quiet as Lord Royce. It still didn’t get him a proper explanation, but Robert heard enough to understand that Webhands had accidentally mentioned some bad news Jon meant to keep from Ned until the festivities ended. Except it might not have been actually accidental (maybe?) and was possibly done at the behest of Lord Sunderland (unknowingly?) who’d already retired and was therefore suspicious (allegedly).

    Robert looked at Lord Godric. He wasn’t impressed. The man was properly big – not Baratheon big of course – but his face was blunt and rough with far too big a brow, and he had a lumpy nose full of red veins. His teeth didn’t look proper either, all yellow and even one that was black in the front.

    “Triston Sunderland would sell his own mother for a pot of Lannister gold,” Kyle finished with a wary eye on his uncle, who seemed to have given up on his one man war for discretion. “Or so it goes.”

    “Is anyone in the Vale worth knowing?” Robert demanded. “Except you, Lord Royce. You’re alright.”

    “Perhaps one of Lord Sunderland’s seven sons,” the man grunted, though it was Robert he gave the hairy eyeball this time instead of his crummy compatriots, the nerve of him! “Lord Sunderland means to make knights out of all of them, or so I’ve heard.”

    What Robert had heard was that it took a lot of fish to buy a decent suit of plate and mail, never mind a destrier, but what did Triston Sunderland’s hopeless ambitions have to do with Ned?

    The answer, when they finally got it in their bedroom after Jon made them retire early – and held Ned back to explain while Robert and Elbert went on ahead – came from Ned himself.

    “My mother has miscarried.”

    …Well crap, maybe Jon wasn’t out to do Ned dirty after all. Robert wouldn’t want to give him news like that either, especially on his special day!

    “The wasting sickness has damaged her womb,” Ned added with a calm that made Robert’s hackles rise.

    But wait, how long ago did it happen that the news could reach the Sisters? Before Sunderland and Borrel set off? How long had Jon been sitting on this news?

    “It’s not entirely clear that the sickness was responsible for the miscarriage itself. What is clear is that she is not likely to survive another pregnancy because of it. The cure was given too late.”

    “There’s a cure for the Wasting?” Elbert asked, astonished.

    Robert blinked and looked at Elbert. “That’s what you find strange?”

    “… You really don’t listen to Maester Cudius at all, do you?”

    Hey, he tried, it wasn’t like he wanted the man’s droning voice to put him to sleep and that wasn’t important right now! Robert turned back to Ned. “I say pelt him with rotten eggs.”

    Ned looked at him blankly.

    “Come on! The man’s an arse and deserves it! Besides, who’d even know the difference with that face?”

    “… Happiness is predicated on deferral of gratification.”

    “… That wasn’t a no.” Robert frowned. “Is that one of those things you get from that mysterious notebook of mystery? What all even is in that thing anyway? I thought it was stuff you wrote in.”

    Ned shook his head and didn’t say anything else until morning.

    It was the first time Robert remembered Ned waking up more upset instead of less after ‘sleeping on it.’ Even after Robert went out of his way to make faces at Elbert until the baby figured out to snuggle Ned from the other side. Then again, Robert only noticed Ned waking up in a bad mood because Ned hadn’t seemed all that bummed the other night despite the dark news and wow, that was a terrible thing to think about your best friend, wasn’t it? Distraction! “Come on, Ned! The joust starts today! You’ll forget about everything in no time, you’ll see!”

    Ned gave him a wry look that said he knew what he was doing, but followed after him and Elbert to the tourney grounds anyway.

    So of course Robert led him to the Godswood instead. That Ned only realised it when Elbert went off alone two thirds of the way there told Robert just how out of it Ned was, but honestly, what did Ned expect? Robert could have fun without Ned just fine, but not while Ned was there. And he would be there, he wasn’t one to snub everyone else over feeling down. Hopefully the Godswood would settle him like it usually did. Robert wouldn’t have thought it in the beginning, but the Heart Tree looked much better since Ned did whatever he claimed to have nothing to do with that turned it clean and sane overnight. Probably something involving soap and a barbed brush, though it was odd that Ned didn’t just say so, instead of letting the servants gossip and whisper about Old Gods and demons and divine favour (and curses from hell for a while there, before Robert started using their supply of eggs to enforce proper discipline). ‘I did nothing’ my arse, the tree face used to look like a blood-gobbling maniac!

    Robert went to sit in his usual out of the way spot and was bored in the space of three minutes. Fortunately, the Storm King was always prepared! He took out a block of cherry wood to whittle at with the hunting knife from Jon that Robert definitely didn’t treasure above everything else he owned that didn’t come from Ned or his real dad.

    He wasn’t lying! He treasured the knitted socks from mom over them too, so there!

    Ned still seemed rather standoffish. Usually he brightened the moment one of his raven buddies swooped down to his shoulder to groom his hair. This time it must have been half an hour before Ned stopped sulking and started to teach it words like he always did when he came down there. Well, at least he still did it eventually! What a relief! Robert wouldn’t have to play the villain and remind Ned that he soon wouldn’t have a Godswood to go to anymore!

    Ned was almost fully back to himself by the time Elbert appeared with bread and bacon. Softbeak offering to play cards seemed to do it for the rest.

    From then on, Ned proved willing to let them distract him for the remaining days of the festival. They bet half their desserts on who would win the melee (Yohn Royce won). They tried to predict the winners of the archery competition (bastard Whatshisname Stone or other won that Robert couldn’t be arsed to remember). They bet ten silvers against one of Ned’s Legendary Gwent cards on the winner of the joust (Denys Arryn beat Yohn Royce in the finals, earning Robert Durran Godsgrief himself!). And they pretended the Borrel and Sunderland delegations didn’t exist despite Triston Sunderland swearing in a private meet with them and Jon that he’d had nothing to do with Borrel’s breach of courtesy.

    “The nerve of him,” Robert seethed after they left. “Who else could it have been?”

    “The Maester,” Ned said, but he was just biased because his Maester had- “The Septon, Denys, whoever else Jon told, whoever happened to overhear any of them talking about it, whoever else found out in any one of the keeps and holdfasts and harbors that the Sunderlands passed to get here that had enough pull or coin-“

    “Alright alright, I get it, sheesh!” Gods, Ned would be the worst spymaster!

    When they weren’t gaming or feasting, they played with Ned’s presents (Robert heroically refrained from trashing them), played with Ned’s other stuff (Ned could turn paper into crafts that could fly, what the hells?), commiserated about Jon keeping them in the dark ‘for their own good’ (Jon was the worst!), or asked Ned questions about the North (after they forgot they weren’t supposed to bring it up on account of his mama’s health). Robert was amazed to learn the North had found a way to cure lackwits, was disappointed when told it wasn’t anything that would work on Jon (Robert was not cracked in the skull for asking!), was confused at Ned’s confession that the whole secrecy thing had left him most upset with his brother Brandon instead of anyone else (how was he worse than Jon?), and then Robert promptly exploded at Elbert for his comment that Robert should be familiar with the feeling, how dare he? Ned was nothing like Stannis! And there was no way Brandon Stark was anything like Robert either! He wouldn’t have somehow upset Ned from half-way across the world, for one! What kind of grump could even do something like that? Robert was nothing like that! He was great, he was funny, he was nice, he was an arse when the other arse earned it, he was perfect! Perfect just like his father! But Stannis was surly and unfunny and duty this, decorum that and he always acted like he was owed more than he got and even dad didn’t like it but he still treated him like it was fine and gave him as much time as he gave Robert except he never had to work for it and no he wasn’t jealous, take that back!

    Ahem.

    He might’ve gotten a little worked up there.

    Somehow, though, his outburst made Ned laugh, which was great! It also got Ned up his arse about the ins and outs of his life at home and being a brother, which wasn’t so great. But because it was Ned asking, and because Ned was still being hard on himself for not really mourning a sibling he never had the chance to form a bond with to begin with, Robert heroically chose to endure it so long as it worked to distract him proper. And it worked!

    In fact, it worked so well that Ned chose to join them in the Sept for the final liturgy of the Spring Festival without needing to be cajoled into it by Jon or whoever else. Which probably shouldn’t have surprised Robert after how many times Ned had already attended services of in this or that Sept ‘for science,’ but somehow it still did.

    “I still don’t understand how you can be interested in these things,” Robert told him as the three of them were getting dressed that morning. “Service bores me to tears.”

    “Me too.”

    “Wait, what? But then why do you keep going to them?”

    “Septon Urizen’s sermons can be very informative. Also, all the important people in the Vale will be in attendance today. I want to see what the Septon thinks the high lords need to be told.”

    “Oooh, it’s like strategy! You’re treating it like war! Why didn’t you just say so?”

    “… Sure, let’s go with that.”

    “Wait, have you been going to war without me all this time? How could you!? Ned! Ned, don’t you walk away from me!”

    The Sept of the Moon was a seven-walled building with statues and altars for each of the Seven made of polished white stone. The altars were inlaid richly with mother-of-pearl, onyx, lapis lazuli and at least four other stones to make the seven. The building had seven windows made from leaded glass, depicting scenes and pictures of the Andal Conquest ending with the crowning of Artys Arryn under the light of the Warrior shining down from the God’s throne atop the Giant’s Lance. And high above everyone and everything at the center of the ceiling, a great crystal caught light, spreading it in a rainbow of colors.

    Robert would’ve been impressed if he hadn’t already been in there over a hundred times. As it was, it was all he could do not to fall asleep as Septon Urizen and holy brothers from almost every noble House in attendance went and walked up and down all seven aisles, praying and singing to each statue of the Seven Who Are One. Robert was sure that the service forced them all to rise and turn and hold hands each time just so they wouldn’t all fall asleep, though he begrudgingly admitted the singing was better than usual. The songs themselves weren’t to his taste, but all them newcomers must have practiced a lot to sing along so well.

    There were ten times as many candles at the feet of the statues too, even the Stranger. Hopefully they wouldn’t cause a fire to make all them go down in flames. Being on the front-most pew between the Father and Stranger – with just Ned, Elbert, Jon, Denys and his wife alongside – they were about as far from a possible fire as anyone other than the priests. That only meant they’d be the last to escape in case of disaster though. He wondered if it would be the smoke, the flames, or the collapsing roof that would do them in. Being crushed under that big ol’ crystal would probably make for some mighty colourful smears when the rainbow lights were added in.

    Robert was broken out of his daydream of a horrifying death when he felt Ned nudge him in the ribs like he’d asked him before coming in. Was the sermon finally going to start? Blinking out of his doze, Robert found Septon Urizen and six holy brothers arranged in a line at the center of the sept where all the pews faced, forming the seven colors of the rainbow. Very important thing for the Faith, the rainbow. For some reason. Robert thought it was silly, seeing as Septons were already dressed fancier than anyone else he’d ever seen, even the Hand of the King when dad had taken Stannis and him to see the capital that one time. Then again, Robert understood even less why everyone said the rainbow had only seven colors. It always had more whenever he saw one. Oh well.

    In the name of the true God who is Seven and One. My dear brothers and sisters, it is with the greatest joy that I gather with all of you this day in this beautiful Sept dedicated to the Seven in their aspect of the Warrior, he who delivers the Father’s justice to the wronged, protection to the needy, and glory to the valorous. Also, too, do we celebrate today this Holy Service in honour of the Gods in their aspect of the Smith under his title of The Gardener, as we joyfully welcome Spring back into our lives. They are never far away, the Fulsome Seven, no matter which Face of the Holy God we honor in our hearts. We are all sinners, yet we are granted refuge at the hearth of the Father, consolation in the Mother’s arms, cleansing in the eyes of the Maiden, and wisdom to light our way by the Chrone’s lamp. And of course, just as the Stranger wanders from far places, less and more than human, unknown and unknowable, we men of the cloth are still here to lead our brothers and sisters forth in wisdom, that they may earn the Grace of the Seven in this life and the next. Just as the Stranger himself is always there to lead us to the next world, so he stands by us today, in this very Sept as we sacramentally re-present the ‘once for all’ covenant of the Seven Stars, sealed by the Father himself when he Crowned Hugor of the Hill with seven stars pulled down from the sky.

    “We also gather to celebrate the great gift his beloved High Holiness, the High Septon, delivered unto the Faith in his Divine Rescript, the Folly of Intellect Absent of Acumen. Wise Crone, I know I speak on behalf of all gathered here when I say ‘thank you’ for your wisdom, foresight, and abiding generosity in allowing the Holy Sacraments of the Seven Who Are One to find the path through the treacherous ground that so recently emerged in the ever advancing path of the True Faith.

    “As we gather here today in this magnificent Sept, one cannot help but notice the very large presence of people who have come from far and wide to participate in this Holy Service. I have met a good number of you personally. You are a sign – a great sign – of encouragement and hope for the Faith tossed about these days on the troubled waters of human misjudgement. You understand your place in the world and in the Faith to help renew the True Way in the world, and preserve the holy virtues within the Faith herself.

    “Over the months since the release of Folly of Intellect, I have heard many in the Faith, from wandering septons to even some among the Most Devout, express dismay over why so many of our brothers and sisters are going against their own better judgment and believing the horrendous Oldtown Calumny. They say things like, ‘I just don’t understand. How could my flock be so attracted to the idea that such rot may exist in the Mansions of the Pious, when they have neither experienced nor witnessed such for themselves?’

    “Whenever such doubts were expressed to me, I have often responded ‘That is exactly the question you should be asking. Why are so many, commoner and noble alike, so inclined to believe the worst of the Cloth? Or perhaps more pointedly: what do these claims of rot among our Most Holy touch in them that their own experience growing up in the light of the Seven did not provide?’ Now I do not want to be misunderstood. I am not at all calling into question the moral uprightness of my wiser brothers and sisters of the Cloth. Nor am I calling into question the legitimacy, the validity or even the goodness of the Divine Indulgence promulgated by his High Holiness in the wake of the Oldtown riots. But perhaps in the actual implementation of the Most Devout’s directives, not everything that occurred since has borne good fruit.

    “His High Holiness referenced this in his letter to the realm’s septons, which accompanied the release of Folly of Intellect. In speaking of his predecessor’s own efforts to provide for the souls of a people at risk of being led astray by the actions of certain maesters (as there always are in such institutions that so worship their own false wisdom that they shun the only true wisdom that is the Crone), his High Holiness wrote thusly in his own Divine Rescript of 4:20, 269 AC: ‘Immediately after the publication of Archmaester Harmune’s book Etched in Stone, the Starry Sept was faced with many a crisis of faith. Many were those who now questioned our most holy written scripture, which categorically attests the time and place of the Manifest Destiny in Tyrion: 1:44, clearly one generation in advance of the first Andal crossing to Westeros. Indeed, it has since been proven, by a more rightly guided man from that same institution of scholars, that what Harmune called axes were in fact hammers, the sign of the Smith, explaining the irregularity of the depictions of these hammers as the results of the Andals being warriors, not artisans.’

    “Clearly, his High Holiness is encouraging us to be calm and patient, for though the light of the Seven may at times be obscured by the machinations of demons and mortals, the truth always shines forth in the end. Now, I don’t want to claim that this much needed lesson in patience should mean dismissing the present concerns of the faithful. You in the here and now are important as well. However, I believe that one of the most important phrases in the letter of his High Holiness is this: ‘There is no separation between the past, present and future. In the history of the Sacrament, there is growth and progress, but no rupture. What earlier generations held as sacred remains sacred and great for us too, and it cannot be all of a sudden entirely disbelieved or even considered harmful. It behooves all of us to preserve the riches which have developed in the Sept’s faith and prayer, and to give them their proper place.’

    “As we conclude our celebration of the Coming of Spring, I wish to touch upon one special point. This has to do with the positive motivation of His High Holiness in issuing the Divine Rescript. He said that it is a matter of coming to ‘an interior reconciliation in the heart of the Faith.’ During my pilgrimage to King’s Landing this year, I had the opportunity to visit with His High Holiness and thank him for the gift of Folly of Intellect. He responded at length to my intervention – beginning by saying that he had issued the Divine Rescript in order to reconcile the Faith with her most noble past. This reconciliation the High Septon spoke of involves learning from the experience of the Sacrament according to the Canonical Rite, in order to better inform and shape our understanding and practice of worship. I am not here to speak ill of our brothers and sisters, and certainly I challenge anyone to claim that I hold ill to any of my fellows of the Cloth. But it would be an insult to the Crone’s truth and the Father’s justice if I were to pretend that the Oldtown Calumny has not tested the resilience of our most Holy Institution, bereft as it is of the firm guidance and protection it enjoyed in the days of yore when the Warrior could be worshipped as much in deed as it is now in ritual.

    “I am, of course, referring to the increasing number of septons and septas that have chosen to diverge from the Pure Form of the Sacrament in the wake of the Oldtown Calumny. They have shown much zeal to interpret the holy scripture in a way as far removed as possible from the teachings of that a handful of bad seedlings. Seedlings that have since been given the Warrior’s judgment and been thoroughly excised from our Father’s house. Certainly, through extraclerical abuses, other aberrations, or simply poor mortal folly, the Faith has been disfigured in the eyes of our flock. But this does not at all compare to the disfigurement inflicted with every brother and sister of the cloth that has experienced a rupture with our solemn past. I am blessed to live in a land much enduring against such blandishments, but I grieve for my brothers and sisters elsewhere who must now toil for not only their flock but also themselves. Nowhere have I found this to be the case more than in the Riverlands, that place where the Faith even now struggles to win the souls of a people led astray under the tyranny of the Hoare Kings, who so oppressed those of the Cloth before the Targaryen Liberation that the people stumbled in the dark right into the grasp of empty idols and bloodthirsty demons.

    “And this is why, on this most auspicious of days, I want to continue with what I preached about last sennight, which was the subject of soul-winning. As you will surely have learned from your brothers and sisters that call the Gates of the Moon their home, last time we talked about the philosophy of why soul-winning is so important, why we go soul-winning, and what we mean when we go out soul-winning, knocking on people's doors and opening our Seven Pointed Star and showing them how to be saved. Or this could just be done walking up to somebody out and about; it doesn't even have to be at their door but just walking up to a stranger, opening up the Holy Book and showing them how to be saved. The thing that I focused on last sennight was starting the conversation. We went into all the philosophy of why we need to go out and preach the Holy Word to every creature and why the Seven want everyone to be involved in this. But then we got into just how to start the conversation, and how to assess where the person is at spiritually – finding out whether they have been saved or not. We talked about how to do it at the door and then also how to do it in everyday life – just easy ways to bring up the conversation. Tonight I want to pick up right where I left off and get into the part where one actually presents the Seven Pointed Star to this person, and the most critical truth that has been under threat since the noble and common people alike have succumbed to the temptation of rendering their own judgment instead of abiding by the Gods’. And that critical truth is this: everyone is a sinner.

    “A couple of scriptures on that are in Bronze Kings 3: of course we have the famous verses in Bronze 3:10, ‘As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one.’ And then of course verse 23: ‘For all have sinned, and come short in the sight of the Father above.’ Here is the essence of this first point about everyone being a sinner. I don't spend a lot of time on this point and for a simple reason: 99 out of 100 people already understand this. How often do any of you really come to somebody that tells you, 'no, I don't sin, I've never sinned.' It is very rare. It happens every once in a while but it's extremely rare. So on the whole I have found easy to convey this point like so: ‘First of all, the Seven Pointed Star says that we are all sinners. Right here in Bronze Kings 3:23 it says, ‘For all have sinned, and come short in the sight of the Father above.’ I've sinned, you've sinned. Truth be told, we probably sin every day because, as the Crone herself clearly says, the thought of foolishness is itself sin. Even just thinking something stupid is sin. We've all sinned.’ So that is a really quick point.

    “Then you'd obviously go to other verses like 'if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us'. If we say that we haven't sinned we challenge the Father’s capacity for justice and the Mother’s Mercy will not be bestowed upon us. Nor will the Maiden look kindly on us, or the Crone grant us her guidance. Then, too, will the Warrior turn his gaze away when we need him most. You needn’t look too far to see this in the flesh. Think of the strife in Dorne of just this moon past, that sparse kingdom of rocks and sand where the Faith struggles to win the souls of men to this very day. I shan’t dwell on matters of divine blessings and lost opportunities that are spurned with their decadent ways. The increasing wealth, fertility and valor enjoyed by West, Reach and, of course, the Vale are evidence enough all by themselves of the truth of the Seven’s blessings.

    “But still, think of the strife that beset that land of princes, which nearly saw that bereaved realm descend into a full blown civil war: the Lord of Yronwood found Prince Oberyn Martell in bed with his paramour. But instead of taking this as the Mother’s lesson it clearly was on being faithful to your wife and not committing adultery, he chose to interpret it as a trial of the Warrior. Can any of you claim that his failure to win a clear victory in the ensuing duel was not the Warrior’s judgment passed from high above? The Bloodroyal’s wound quickly festered in the aftermath, what else could that be than the Mother holding back her mercy from one who had spurned her? And what of the Stranger? The Bloodroyal could have accepted his embrace and been delivered on. Perhaps he might even have found some dignity in the Warrior’s final judgment, had he accepted the truth of his sin and repented before moving on. Instead, he and his kin cried far and wide for any help, no matter how blasphemous. And what did they get? Poison passed as cures. Godless sorcery that sapped all the vigor the proud Bloodroyal might otherwise have enjoyed until the twilight years of his life. Even now he is dependent on the dark arts and droughts of mummers and mages, as he will doubtless be for the rest of his life. I ask you, is that half-life not the Stranger’s own judgment?

    “Perhaps you are tempted, like so many nowadays, to question the power of the Seven if they allow evil like this to exist and flourish. To this I say that it is an even greater statement of their power that the Seven Who Are One can turn even evil as base as this to the service of good. I see it every day. Indeed, I see it in this very story I just shared with you: the continued good health of the young Prince Martell despite receiving a wound in turn, is that not testament to the Maiden’s favour? I dare say the young Prince may just be that 1 out of 100 people that don’t care they are a sinner, but who may nonetheless be saved through the act of soul-wining. After all, is the call to soul-winning not obvious in the Grace he received from the Seven Themselves?

    “This brings me to my second point, that many find their faith challenged in the wake of the Oldtown Calumny. This second point is that there is a punishment for our sins. If you were to ask me how I would have conveyed this point in the past, I would say go to Bronze Kings 6:23, where the Seven Pointed Star reads, ‘For the wages of sin is death’. This is a point that I always have had to spend a fair bit of time on just because a lot of people don't believe in the Seven Hells, don't understand the Seven hells, or they just don't realize that we deserve to go to the Seven Hells. Yes, all of us. A lot of people don't realize this. They think that the Hells are a place where only the truly foul among us go, like the Vulture Kings, the savages among the Hill Clans of this very kingdom, or perhaps the Wyl of Wyl of the First Dornish war, which I’m sure needs no elaboration. If you were to ask the average person 'what would you have to do to go to the Seven Hells?' Many of them would think they would have to do something major, become a murderer or kinslayer or something equally heinous. You'd have to truly commit some serious sins to go to even the softest of hells.

    “What I need to get across to people with this second point is that the wages of sin is death, no exception. And no matter what sins we've committed, we are not worthy of even glimpsing the Seven Heavens, let alone entering them. We cannot enter any heaven on our own good either, because we've all sinned and we all come short of the Glory of the Seven Who Are One. Here are some verses I like to use to show that. Go to Unveiling 21. I like to flip over to Bronze Kings 6:23 because it is so close to Bronze Kings 3:23 so if you are already showing them we've all sinned, it is really easy to flip the page to say there is a penalty for sin, that there is a punishment involved: the Seven Pointed Star says ‘For the wages of sin is death.’ But after we die physically, that is not the end. The Seven Pointed Star talks about a second death. So you can show them Unveiling 20:14,15: ‘And all who have sinned will be cast from the Father’s sight. This will the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the Mother’s Book of Delivery will be cast into the lake of fire.’

    “Then I ask the person what we commonly refer to that place as, the lake of fire? Of course, 99 out of 100 people say that's the Seven Hells. Here is what the Seven Pointed Star says about those that are bound for the hells: look at Unveiling 21:8, ‘But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. And all kinslayers also, who will suffer seven-fold the punishment of all others, thus the Father rules.’ So, you may not be a sorcerer or a murderer or a whoremonger, but have you ever told a lie? 99 out of 100 people will admit they've lied. I know I've lied, have you ever told a lie? Of course we've all lied. I always say this, we have done other worse things in life too. We have probably done some of the things on that list, but either way we know we have all lied, we have done all kinds of sins in our lives and because of our sins the Seven Pointed Star says where are all liars going? To the Seven Hells. The Gods did not jest when They said that. We do deserve the hells.

    “But the Father, Warrior and Smith love all worthy men, and the Maiden loves all unsullied women, and the Mother has mercy enough for us all regardless of who we are. So if the Seven Who Are One love us, do they want us to go to the Hells? No.

    “And so that’s the point I am trying to make when I preach the Scripture: first of all, we've all sinned. Secondly, the punishment for our sins is that we deserve the hells. But thirdly, the Seven love us. They don't want us to go the hells. It is what we deserve, but that's why they Revealed themselves to us – that we should know to whom we may plea that we might still be saved. And obviously, the last thing I would have to get across to people is that in order to be saved, they have to believe in the Seven as their Saviours. That's how it gets applied unto them. And this is the last and biggest point: faithful or not, whether they hold to the true Gods or they worship trees or idols or whatever else, the average man and woman think they can work for their salvation. And then on the tail-end of that, I always teach people that you cannot lose your salvation, and the reason why is simply that the average unsaved folk thinks that you earn your spot in the heavens by being good and you go to the Hells by being bad. They're right, you do go to the hells by being bad. The problem is, there's none good but one, and that's the Seven Who Are One. Which means that without them, hell is where we’d all be going.

    “And this is what I want you all to take from me today: we go to the heavens not by being good, but by Grace. By Grace through faith. It's by faith, Grace, it's not deeds, it's nothing you can earn in the end. Salvation, in the end, is a free gift from the Seven. Why would the Seven have had to reveal themselves to Hugor on that Hill if we could get to the heavens just by being good?

    “So, point one: we've all sinned. Point two: we deserve hell because of our sins. Point three: The Seven love us, they don’t want us to go to the hells. So here's what they did: ‘But the Mother commendeth her love toward us," Bronze Kings 5:8, ‘in that, while we were yet sinners, the Seven took charge of us and showed us how to win our place in this world and the next one.’

    “At this point you might be wondering where I am going with this since I’m still talking after saying I’d made my final point. It is because of the ultimate question that I wish to clarify, the question that we want asked by the one from whose soul we’re trying to win the Grace of the Seven Who Are One. And that question is: what must I do to be saved? And the Seven pointed Star has the answer. I like to take them to Acts 16:30, 31, where the Book asks the question straight out. We're trying to make Scripture simple, and what could be simpler than Acts 16:31? ‘What must I do to be saved?’ Thank the Seven that man asked that question. And thus the answer: ‘And they said, hold to the Seven Who Are One, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.’

    “I am joyful to say that we, all of us today, are blessed with a momentous opportunity: the opportunity to help bring salvation for one such soul and his house. Earlier I spoke about how the power of the Seven Who Are One is expressed not in the banishment of evil, but through the turning of evil in the service of good, as we recently saw with the bloody retribution exacted on that grand and ancient institution that had grown so proud. But evil does not mean just the evil of men, but also what would pass as mere chance in the eyes of laymen: accidents, killer snows, pestilence, losing one’s unborn infant. So please join me today, as we pray for the salvation of the newest and youngest among us, that in winning his soul’s place in Heaven we might call down the Seven’s Grace on his far-off kin so recently struck by tragedy and loss.”

    This time it was the silence that snapped Robert out of his doze. As he blinked hard to push sleep away for who knew which time, he found everyone staring at them. No, not at them. At N-

    “Lord Eddard,” Septon Urizen called, one arm held out entreatingly. “Come and join us in prayer for your mother’s recovery.”

    Robert looked at Ned and felt… he didn’t know what was going on but that look wasn’t-

    Ned stood up, turned around and walked out of the sept.

    “-. .-“​

    Robert caught up to him in the main yard. “Ned, wait!”

    Ned stopped.

    But he didn’t turn around or say anything. Not even to ask Robert what he was thinking walking out on everyone too. Which was good because Robert wasn’t too sure himself, he just knew the Septon had upset Ned somehow. Upset him a lot if Ned wasn’t taking such a perfect opportunity to rag on Robert for being a moron and snubbing the Faith and everyone attending the service when he didn’t have the excuse of being a northern savage. That’s what he gets for not paying attention, he’ll never doze away in a Sept again!

    They were still standing there awkwardly when Jon caught up with them. Fortunately, he didn’t seem too upset. Not so fortunately, the Septon was with him. Robert glared at the priest, even if he wasn’t sure why he deserved it. The Septon ignored him though, which made him definitely deserve it. Robert glared harder.

    The three of them stood there watching Ned’s back until the rest of everyone began trickling out of the Sept as well.

    When the steadily-less-and-less quiet finally broke, it was Jon that did it. “Ned.”

    “Jon.” Ned’s voice was cool and hard as winter ice as he turned. He refused to look either man in the face. “Is Septon Urizen going to join the rest of us when we move to the Eyrie?”

    The Septon spoke before Jon could answer. “Lord Eddard, surely this-“

    “MY MOTHER IS NOT SOME WHORE FOR YOU TO PEDDLE TO EVERYONE PASSING UNDER YOUR ROOF!” Ned roared.

    Robert recoiled.

    “Neither am I,” Ned growled while damn well glaring Robes in the eye now. “No matter what your ‘brothers and sisters’ in the Mansions of the Pious would have said about it before my father went down there and turned evil to the service of good.”

    Who? When? What? What was he talking about!?

    Now the Septon was angry. “I won’t stand here and-“

    “Jon!” Ned interrupted, turning his face away in dismissal. “Is Septon Urizen going to join the rest of us in the Eyrie?”

    Jon looked at Ned. “Yes.”

    “Then I demand the right of bread and salt.”

    What!? Why? What the hells had Robert missed in there!?

    Jon’s eyes widened, then softened. “Oh Ned, you don’t need to go so far. You’re not a mere guest.”

    “There is nothing mere about guests. Either I take your bread and salt or he does.”

    “This is outrageous!” Robes burst. “Never in all my years -“

    “Septon,” Jon said flatly. “Silence yourself.”

    Septon Urizen shut up with a look of naked shock. Belatedly, Robert noticed the growing crowd of worthies and realized that Ned had been using his best attempt at command voice to have his words heard as far as possible.

    “Ned,” Jon said softly. “Explain.”

    “Justice and vengeance, Jon,” Ned snarled. “Either guest right or a challenge to the death.” WHAT!? “Then when his champion kills me because the Warrior says murder forgives all sin as long as it’s done out in the open, you’ll have to explain to my father how his poor son got himself killed under your roof.”

    Right then and there, Robert vowed he was going to stab himself before he dozed off in a Sept again.

    “My Lord!” Robes hissed. “You cannot truly be entertaining this… this-“

    “Alright.”

    Robert had no idea who between Ned and Robes was more surprised.

    “My lord-“

    “Ned,” this time it was Jon who ignored the Septon. “You’re my foster son, not any mere guest. I hope the day comes when you can believe that enough not to feel like you need to blackmail me. Septon Urizen will take the bread and salt.”

    Robert was stunned. He didn’t think Jon would actually do it. But he did.

    And when they travelled to the Eyrie a week later, after the festival ended and everyone left for their own homes, Jon even followed through! Damn that man! He didn’t want to like Jon, he was supposed to be the worst!

    Well fiddlesticks.

    Robert gave himself a few days to explore and roam and gawk alongside Ned from the tallest towers of the seat of House Arryn. Eventually, though, he freed enough of his wits to pester Denys until the man washed his hands of him and agreed to lend him his biggest, brawniest men-at-arms for a day.

    Then he tied himself with rope and made them drag and drop him up and down the cliff sides of the Giant’s Lance until he found the only proper gift that would express to Jon his appreciation for his honor and bravery. Robert would have asked Shaggy, but Jon hadn’t let him come live in the Eyrie with them because of limited living space, don’t you know. As if!

    Jon damn near wept when Robert gave him the baby falcon. Then the man said the only thing he appreciated more was the chance to raise and train it together. To his own surprise, Robert believed him.

    Jon’s reaction on finding out just how Robert had procured the passager was even better though. Being too big to be given the switch was the best! Well, not so much for his nose, what with how long he was on manure duty afterwards, but great in every other way! It all even made it into Ned’s mysterious notebook of mystery! After so long fighting that war, Robert finally got his well-earned victory!

    Then the first week up in the Eyrie finally ended, so Robert Baratheon set about gathering intelligence on the two sides of the other war being waged around him that needed the right side to gain victory.

    “-. .-“
    Robert,
    I’m proud of you.
    Love,
    Dad.
    ,,- -,,
     
    Last edited:
    Chapter II.2: Grinding Teeth Do Not a Gay Storm Make (V)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    The_Eyrie-TN.jpg

    “-. 278 AC .-“

    Today was the day.

    Not the whole day though. Ned had finally finished the latest chapter in ‘A Game of Thrones’ and there was no victory to be had there for anybody. It made him guiltily relieved, not that he’d tell anyone that. Robert’s favorite character had gotten himself murdered by a pig half-way through the book, so it was a nice change to see everyone else getting kicked in the teeth, if not quite in the same way. He still cursed himself, though, for getting invested in a story he couldn’t skim all the way to the end first to see how it ended (who ever heard of publishing a book chapter by chapter? Madness!). He should’ve known not to expect anything good out of someone with such a stupid name too. What kind of name even was Bastian Cornpile anyway? And he had the balls to claim he was just ‘editing’ what all was written by some lout named Raymond something. Why would whatshisname try to distance himself from his own handiwork? Even he knew the story was shit, that’s why!

    Curse Ned for getting him invested, he was the worst friend ever!

    Though considering his own favorite character got crippled, imprisoned and then unlawfully executed by an incest-born bastard pretender, and because it only happened because his wife browbeat him into taking a post he didn’t want, and because said wife then went behind his back to confide in their worst enemy – thus forcing him into the worst and dumbest collaboration ever – AND because she then went against all his orders and started a five-way war to the knife that got her husband killed for the high crime of trying to keep the peace, Robert was going to forgive him.

    Still, he sometimes wished he’d never heard of this ‘newspaper’ thing, at least on those days when it didn’t make the Septon or Maester burst a blood vessel. It was a pipedream of course, now that the North was selling it all over the place.

    The Winds of Winter.

    Ha! It sure went and broke some mighty stinking winds, he’d give it that.

    “Well this is a fine mess to end a dynasty on, isn’t it?” Jon said blandly as he leaned back in his chair at the game table. “What have we learned from this?”

    Denys scoffed as he knocked over his cyvasse pieces. “Don’t listen to your crazy wife when she tells you to hand the treasury over to her even crazier childhood sweetheart?”

    “Quite.” Jon said dryly, looking around the table. “Anyone else?”

    As if you won’t put all of us through the wringer anyway, Robert thought with a grunt as he finished his last squat and put the barbell back onto its rack.

    “What’s the point?” Elbert groused. He was still grumpy over the second of the king’s brothers bravely running away like the first. “The good guys lost.”

    “I suppose you could look at it that way.”

    “We need a timeline,” Elys said.

    “Here you go.” Ned produced and unfolded a large sheet of paper, because of course he did.

    Robert finished wiping himself of sweat, let his towel hang over his neck and took a seat opposite Alyssa. She wrinkled her nose at him despite being the farthest away from him out of everyone. She always did pretend to hate the smell of man when he was there. She’d never forgiven him for getting her spirited away to Old Anchor, even though she came out of it with some of her best life experiences, a whole bunch of connections, and a lifelong friend. Robert waited for her to meet his eyes, smirked at her, and then dismissed her as insolently as he could in favour of the ‘timeline.’ Her glare soothed the dark pit of spite gnawing at his soul that he was still an hour or two from finally filling with vindication.

    And then some.

    A Game of Thrones, by Raymond Richard

    edited by Bastien Cornpile

    "-. Timeline of Major Events .-"

    (compiled by Eddard Stark)​

    • John Griffin is murdered by his wife Eloise Mudd at the bidding of Peter Shell, Lord of the Fingers, and he also directs her to send a raven to her sister, Cathryn Stark, suggesting that the Casterlys did it;
    • Brandon Stark (Bran the Younger) is pushed out a window (by Semaj Casterly);
    • A catspaw attempts to kill Bran after his fall leads to a severe head injury and long sleep;
    • Cathryn Mudd Stark travels to Highgarden with the dagger the catspaw used in the attack on Bran, to find out who was behind the attempt on her son’s life;
    • Peter Shell convinces her that the dagger belongs to Lann Casterly;
    • Cathryn seizes Lann with the help of Riverlands men praying at High Heart on her way back north, and takes him to the Griffin King’s palace in the Vale of the Moon, where her widowed sister now sat the Crescent Chair on behalf of her young son;
    • In response to a Casterly being seized, Corlos Casterly sends Reigo Giantskin and his army of Skinchngers to raid the Trident, to draw Brandon Stark out of the Reach. At the same time, Semaj Casterly has a fight with Brandon Stark in Highgarden, which results in Brandon’s leg breaking due to mysterious outside interference – he can’t go out to war where he can be killed in battle or assassinated out of sight of the Oakenseat. Brandon sends Brice Dondarrion and his men out to battle Reigo Giantskin instead;
    • Word comes from across the sea that Garth Greenhand has died in the Corpse City of Stygai beneath the Shadow. Prince Garth II ascends to the Throne of the First Men, but dies days later in a hunt against the legendary golden boar whose tusks he wanted to carve into bands for his wife’s crown. Lann the Younger takes the Oakenseat. Brandon is arrested and imprisoned on orders of the new Queen Regent, Serice Casterly.
    • Durran Godsgrief, Garth Greenhand’s goodson, rebels and declares himself Storm King, denouncing Lann the Younger and his siblings as illegitimate bastards. John the Oak, Garth Greenhand’s son, also declares himself King, believing he is the only one that can restore honor and chivalry to the realm after such a disgrace;
    • Lann the Elder denies the accusations Cathryn makes about sending a catspaw after Bran. He challenges anyone to make him eat his words, but there is no one brave enough to do so. The sisters sentence him to death anyway, by banishment into the Mountains of the Moon to die as prey to the direbears, griffins and other beasts that nest there. He survives, impresses a skinchanger by leveraging his giant size and strength to wrestle his bear skin into submission, recruits all the clans who reject the right of a foreigner to sit the Griffin Throne, and leaves the Vale.
    • Cregan Stark, Brandon’s eldest son, calls his armies and comes south to fight the Casterlys as a result of Brandon’s arrest.
    • Urras Greyiron returns to the Iron Islands as an envoy of Cregan, just in time to witness his father, the Grey King, walk back into the sea to return to the right hand of his Father. Urras is elected High King of the Iron Islands and begins making plans to reclaim supremacy of the Five Seas, starting with the entire west coast of Westeros;
    • The Splintering of the First Men begins.
    “-. .-“​

    “So…” Jon said after everyone had time to digest the utter butchery that whatshisname dared make of the Age of Heroes. Ned’s inexplicable indulgence towards the book and its mysterious author notwithstanding. “At which point did the war actually start?”

    Robert scowled when Jon’s eyes lingered more on him than everyone else. Jon always made a big lesson every time a new chapter was added to this travesty. It was like he didn’t think Robert was well enough read on any other stories or something. Did he miss all the reading aloud Ned had done over the years? The Maester must have been speaking calumny against him again. Vengeance would be his! With eggs soaked in vinegar!

    Thank you Elbert for that particular trick.

    Or Jon was just hounding Robert because Ned had long since gone in the other extreme of debating things.

    “I can’t even decide at this point,” said Alyssa with a huff that she really didn’t need to put so much effort into seeming dainty. It’s not like people could look past those plump breasts to appreciate it any. “Eloise is a complete nutter, but nobody actually found out what she did. Cathryn, though, somehow decided that arresting Lann the Clever in the middle of a crowded inn was a good idea.”

    On the one hand, that sounded like it made sense, especially if her theory about that particular Lann being the Lann ended up being true. Eventually. Years from now. Maybe. Would be a good twist to the obvious giant heritage that couldn’t have come from either of his Casterly parents. On the other hand, it went to show that even the most earnest interest in ‘the talk of you menfolk’ wasn’t substitute for ability. And Alyssa’s interest had never actually been earnest, so much as a spiteful demand from her father to ‘make it up to her’ for going along with Robert’s ‘evil’ plan.

    “Robert?” Shit, Jon noticed! “Any thoughts on that?”

    “Plenty,” Robert grunted, stretching his arms over his head until his bones popped. Alyssa pretended not to stare, that randy lassie. “But I’d not want to rob anyone else of the chance to shine.”

    “Your glibness does you no credit.”

    No, but it did maintain his image as scatter-brained oaf until the proper time, which would be soon so Jon would just have to keep his breeches on.

    Jon sighed. “Ned?”

    Ned started. He was always distracted these days. Not for much longer though, Robert vowed all over again. “… The high lords have the rights of pit and gallows and are responsible for enforcing the law. Cathryn was acting as Lady of the Barrows and the daughter and envoy of the Lord of the Trident. Seizing Lann on suspicion of having arranged the assassination of Bran was within her authority and not an act of war.”

    No, it was just foolish and treasonous to her husband and his holdings because it went in direct opposition to the orders he gave her to go back to Barrow Hall, man Moat Cailin, and tell their son to call the banners from the very start. She also didn’t tell their son to keep Greyiron close until after her many bad decisions destroyed his trust in her and he refused on principle.

    “Brandon sending Brice Dondarrion and his men to police the violence along the Trident wasn’t an act of war either.” Elbert said. Unprompted. Jumping to defend Ned’s chosen favorite so he wouldn’t look biased while doing it himself, the loyal lad. Good boy! “He expressly charged Brice and the other men with the mission to protect the smallfolk, stop the violence and bring the Rivers and Hills to order. This is simply policing the King’s Peace once it has been broken.”

    Jon smiled and nodded. Elbert tried and failed not to preen. Silly boy, if he deserved to feel proud, he should feel proud!

    “It has to do with the offense of Breach of the Peace,” Jon lectured. “Or more precisely, its origin. Breach of the Peace is one of the oldest offences in Westerosi law. As Maester Frederick has detailed in his book 'The King’s Peace’, it can be traced back to the regard in First Man law for the sanctity of the homestead. Every man was entitled to peace in his own house. If his peace was disturbed – by brawling, fighting, or even name-calling and other incivilities – the offender would owe him special amends. If the peace of the King’s home was breached, this was of course more serious than for the common man, and the offender risked being slain. The King’s peace was eventually extended from his home and roads to the whole kingdom. Whosoever breached the peace breached the King’s peace and risked doom. So, considering this, at which point did the war actually start?”

    “So we blame it all on Casterly after all?” Alyssa frowned. “And here I thought that was too easy.”

    Aly tended to overthink things until she got tired and decided with her heart instead of her head. It was why she’d taken it as a personal insult that Robert ‘beat’ her in ‘her’ area of expertise and decided she wanted to return the favour in his. So far, she hadn’t come close. Not that Robert was going to say so, the faces she made every time he ‘got his own back’ were too funny.

    A tumble would probably solve the whole thing right and proper, but Jon would be upset even if Elys wasn’t, and Aly still hadn't earned that honor. Besides, she was betrothed.

    “So it was Casterly then,” Alyssa muttered. “He deliberately breached the king’s peace to draw out Brandon Stark and pressure him through military force into releasing Lann. Corlos assumed that Cathryn acted on Brandon’s orders, because of course she couldn’t have an idea of her own.”

    “And Brandon gave the same lie to Semaj in their confrontation to protect Cathryn – and her father, in whose name she also acted – from further repercussions if Casterly’s words got to either Garth’s ears,” Elbert mused, emboldened. “But the method Corlos used was far over and above the reasonable options open to him. He could have sued for Lann’s return in front the Prince during court, embarrassing Brandon and undermining his authority as Hand, while forcing Garth to choose between his brother and the law.”

    “But he didn’t,” Elbert continued after a glance to Ned showed him what Robert had already seen – Ned was distracted. Or, rather, he was thinking deeply about other things to come now that he’d made his contribution to the discussion. “He went straight to war. He decided, again, that Corlos Casterly was above the law and could do as he pleased. So he did. News trickled into Highgarden as representatives of attacked areas came to tell the Prince – or his Hand, as the Prince was off hunting and drinking – what is happening.”

    And then Stark was stuck trying to figure out how to retaliate against Corlos Casterly without looking like it was a Stark/Mudd versus Casterly fight. Then there was the First Men’s way where the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword, which Brandon couldn’t do because of his shattered leg. So he sent out Brice and his men. And that was the start of the Shattering of the First Men into different kingdoms.

    “There is one critical factor I want you all to take from this,” Jon continued. “For all the atrocities committed by and against such ones as the Vulture Kings or the Wyl of Wyl, we men of Westeros are not the Dothraki savages, or whatever slaving scum rules Essos this year or what have you. We hold ourselves apart by dint of honour, if nothing else. We have rules for war. How else could you make peace with enemies, if not at least some barebone rules of engagement? That is what guest right grew to be. That is how chivalry came to be.” And wasn’t that a wildfire keg just waiting to blow up and drive Ned to another late night of muttering terrible curses and condemnations from that mysterious notebook of mystery. “And the idea of the Rules of War is to try and make war less awful than it is, while recognising that it is still a barbarity. That means limitations: there must be distinction between military and non-military personnel and infrastructure. There must be proportionality in attacks. Attacks should only be made for military necessity. And the attacks must not cause unnecessary suffering.”

    Tell that to the Dornish and Tywin Lannister. And a lot of people in certain people’s history that Robert would have a grand old time throwing in certain faces before long.

    “That’s not even all he did to break the rules of armed conflict really,” Denys said. “The Bloody Mummers led by Reigo Giantskin were not raiding under Casterly banners. They passed themselves as rogue brigands bringing misery. This was a tactic of Corlos – a dirty one. Soldiers don’t wear identifiable uniforms just so they can tell their allies from the enemy, they’re also there so that their enemies know who to target – this is the principle of distinction. If you commit acts of war without an identifiable uniform or emblem that marks you as a member of an armed force in the armed conflict, you are not entitled to protected status as a member of an armed force. Only soldiers get to go home after stealing cattle, raiding villages and sacking a city after a siege and claim asset denial. If you’re not a soldier, you’re just a brigand and deserve to be treated with the entire weight of the law.”

    “But…” Elbert frowned. “That sounds like…”

    Denys looked at Elbert sympathetically and gave voice to what he couldn’t. “It means the Rules of War aren’t just a way to make war less monstrous. They’re also a scaffolding that permits actions that would otherwise be unlawful.”

    “… That sounds backwards.”

    “That is the nature of war,” Jon said.

    Denys nodded. “On the flip side, though, if you don’t play by the rules, you don’t get to ask the rules to apply to you later.”

    That made Robert wonder about spies. The rules of War didn’t sound like they forbid them. Which made sense because they were used in peace time all the time too. On the other hand, spies broke the principle of distinction, so did that mean they weren’t protected like civilians or prisoners? Priests? Camp followers?

    The thought didn’t linger long because the steward knocked to let Jon know they’d reached the end of their family time.

    Talk about spies would probably have started a tangent lasting hours, Robert decided, but fortunately there was still a while until Ned and the Septon’s great debate. The last one, because Jon had reached the end of his patience after how badly the last dozen had gone. Robert was only surprised Jon was still up for playing arbiter after the first and last time he tried, but he supposed the man was serious when he said this would be the last one or else.

    Robert honestly couldn’t blame him, seeing as even the Maester had finally given up and refused to arbitrate anymore last month. When even the most learned man in the castle – and possibly the kingdom – can’t find references for even a third of your arguments without a day’s research, it’s probably a sign you’ve gone too far and are never going to agree anyway. Robert lost count of how many times he daydreamed about punching faces and knocking heads together. He didn’t know how Jon handled it, but the man barely had to slam his hand on the tabletop to make sure they waited for the other to have his turn speaking.

    And Robert once thought he and the Maester were at odds. Ha! Now the man was all smiles with him because Robert saw to his own books and reading without bothering him. It never occurred to the man that Robert had an ulterior motive. Which hey, rude, but that was what Robert wanted all along. He wasn’t about to bemoan his own success!

    Not that Ned or the Septon even cared about that anymore, it seemed like. It was why Robert was going behind both their backs – he’d reached the end of his patience too. He was tired of Ned never doing anything besides read and take notes and mutter darkly next to the candle every night. He wanted Ned to stop having to stop himself from punching Robert in the face for ragging on him for being obsessed, like he did when Robert went through his things that one time. He wanted Ned to stop begging off and forgetting about their plans together and having to apologise later. And he wanted Ned to stop always looking so angry and so freaking resigned!

    He wanted his friend back. He’d get him back if it’s the last thing he did!

    And nothing and nobody was gonna stop him. Not maesters, not priests, not Jon, not the entirety of written history, not even you bunch, you hear that gods?

    Alright then.

    But first, some time to himself! His foe may be worn down by years of skirmishes with his only declared foe in the Vale, but he was still determined, and his ability to ramble on and on until you forgot the original point you were making remained undiminished. Robert couldn’t go in there half-cocked, he had to rally the little hammer men that lived in his head and kept his brain in tip-top shape. Fortunately, the Eyrie made that easy. Nothing like climbing to the top of the Moon Tower to make you feel like you were on top of the world. So that’s what he did – climbed up from Jon’s solar instead of down like the rest. He had to pass through Jon’s chambers to reach the highest balcony, but Jon didn’t mind so the guards on his door didn’t either.

    Robert emerged on top of the world just as the sun slipped behind the sharp roof behind him, allowing him to enjoy the wind and the view without problems. They were closer to the solstice than the equinox now, so the days were getting shorter. The falcons were still flying high near the castle though. His fingers itched for his bow, but they weren’t why he was there today no matter how tasty they looked.

    The Eyrie was the smallest of the great castles in Westeros, made of a cluster of seven slim, white towers bunched tightly together. That was about how much space the builders could eke out of the top of the Giant’s Lance where it was built. For all that, though, the Eyrie also had barracks and stables carved directly into the mountain, a massively oversized granary – comparable to the one in Winterfell according to Ned, if you didn’t count the People’s Store – and stood several thousand feet above the valley below, making it capable of comfortably surviving extended sieges and remain practically impregnable. If you didn’t have dragons anyway. Or those giant falcons that Artys Arryn (the first one) supposedly used that didn’t seem to exist anywhere else in history or myth. Neither before nor after the story about him overthrowing the Griffin King way back when.

    It was a very pretty place too, even if Robert thought Roland Arryn could have survived without whatever vanity crisis made him import stone all the way from Tarth. From the lowest slab of the sept’s floor to the top of the tallest tower, the castle was made of white marble with blue veins in the stone walls, the same hue as the sky-blue cloaks of the household guard. The Maester said people still debated which came first to this day (the stone, obviously).

    Robert leaned over the railing and breathed slowly in and out like Ned taught him, just watching everything below. Listening too. The cries of the hawks. The whistling of the winds. When his belly was full and his breath stalled, he could even hear the echoes of Alyssa’s Tears, the waterfall on the western side of the Giant's Lance, whose water never reached the floor of the valley below. Legend said it got its name from an ancient She-Arryn who saw her family butchered before her and never shed a tear. Which Alyssa and which House Arryn, Robert didn’t know. The place had made for some nice japes at Aly’s expense though, when they finally met again after she ‘suffered’ the ‘torment’ of Robert’s ‘evil’ plan. Complete nonsense of course, almost as big as the legend itself. There was no way that water was made of tears.

    Not enough salt.

    Not even after Aly tried to get into his pants after he pretended obliviousness one too many times. The tearful sobs she wailed at him for refusing were only outmatched by the tearful admonitions she spat in his face when he caught her wrist instead of letting her slap him like some ninny. Honestly, just because he wouldn’t tumble with her didn’t automatically mean he thought she was lower than the whores!

    Elys had pretended relief after, Jon had been proud of his restraint, and Ned was to this day atrociously mistaken that Robert had at any point thought about so and so’s outrageous impeachment that Robert couldn’t keep it in his pants, but fuck Brandon Stark anyway.

    Robert decided it was time to distract himself before he misaimed his, er, enthusiasm in the upcoming war.

    Looking down, he spied the doors to the Crescent Chamber, the Eyrie's reception hall where guests were given refreshments and warmed by the fire after making the climb up the Giant's Lance. The memory of Septon Urizen eating bread and salt while Ned counted his bites still made Robert smile, even if it had taken Robert days to understand why Ned had been so upset.

    Going back inside, he descended back to Jon’s solar, smiled winningly at the maids that paused in cleaning the Myrish carpet to swoon back, helped them move the trestle table on the way out – those oak-and-leather chairs were heavy – and exited onto the ramparts instead of continuing on down. Took the flight of steep marble stairs down to the Crescent Chamber, past the Eyrie's undercrofts and dungeons, so-called. He’d have to leave word with the head maid that the murder holes were collecting mold again. The portcullis atop the stairs could do with some oiling too. It creaked as he passed into the arcade.

    The arcade itself was freshly dusted though, and the tapestries as vibrant as ever. Robert scowled at them. Almost half of them were gifts from the Faith that Urizen had presented to Jon. Or to his nearby knights so they could then gift them to Jon. They were fancy things that depicted glorious scenes from House Arryn’s past. There had been one of the Seven too, in the style of the stained glass that all but the poorest septs had along the top. But Jon had ‘graciously’ gifted it back to the Septon to hang inside the parsonage instead, because ‘he’d never dare to make first claim on the Seven when that right is exclusive to their earthly representatives.’ Robert remembered it being fancier than all the others, but what he really wanted to know was why the Father had a weirwood in the background. Robert still hadn’t gotten an answer. Even Ned didn’t have one despite sleeping on it for a week, though he believed it had something to do with how Ronald Arryn and all the others who worked on the Eyrie spent decades trying to grow a weirwood up there. Despite the Faith of the Seven preaching an even more genocidal persuasion towards the Children of the Forest and the Old Gods than the First Men ever did.

    The weirwood never took. Even after all the soil brought up again and again from the valley below. They ended up turning the planned godswood into a garden instead. Robert passed through it on the way to the High Hall, glancing up to Jon’s apartments when he heard noises – maids shaking out the carpets. There were some nice shrubs though. He grabbed some currants as he passed by, though what he was really looking forward was the gooseberries, since they at least had some meat on them. Soon, my pretties, soon.

    He ignored the statue of the weeping woman at the center. Whoever figured it made for a good time out in the sun was an idiot. Robert couldn’t think of many things that were more un-arousing. He’d tried.

    He bypassed the Lower Hall too. That would come later, when he and Elbert would corral Ned there for food and wine. Had Ned even broken his fast that day? Robert didn’t see him go in or out of the Morning Hall, and Elbert had another one of his early cravings and he swore up and down Ned hadn’t been to the kitchens either.

    He stopped briefly before entering the High Hall, doing the northern breathing again. The sentries had been amused at first, but now they took it as a cue to do it too. Nothing like becoming impervious to the high chill to turn people around. That it helped pass the time and soothed aching feet helped too. Robert grinned knowingly at them both before going in. His good mood soured as quickly as always though. Not because of the room itself, that was fine. The High Hall was long and sober, made of the same blue-veined white marble, with the weirwood throne of the Arryns at the far end, flanked on both sides by arched narrow windows and torches held in sconces made of silver and iron. The issue was the other thing.

    The Moon Door. A narrow weirwood door that stood between two slender pillars in the High Hall. A crescent moon was carved into the door, which opened inward, and was barred by heavy bronze. The door opened into the sky. Robert had witnessed many an execution done through that door. They always screamed as they fell the six hundred foot drop to the stones of the valley below. A lot.

    The Eyrie was conceived as a pleasure palace, and nowhere was that more obvious than in the issues an acting Lord presided over during court. Or rather, the issues he didn’t. One thing Robert hadn’t considered properly until it smacked him in the face was that the Eyrie was built on top of a mountain. The very hazardous, steep and tallest peak of the mountain. Where only the foolish, crazy or desperate climbed even on their best day. Even without accounting for the raids by the mountain clans, which were always a matter of when. Even the people with valid grievances didn’t make the journey. Too difficult, too dangerous, too much time to go up and down, the reasons were as many as they were good.

    It made for exceedingly few petitioners even on crowded days, especially compared to court days at the Gates of the Moon. Besides forcing Jon to travel down to the Gates of the Moon every two weeks (at least, and he was an exception), it meant that the majority of issues presided over in the High Hall were by people who were forced to be there. Or dragged there. In chains.

    Robert had very few memories of the place where he didn’t have to watch an execution. Not for the first time, he wondered what Ned thought about it. Probably nothing good. The most he could ever get out of him was, well, the one big point that ever stressed the relationship between Ned and Jon.

    “The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man's life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die.”

    The High Hall was Robert’s least favorite place.

    The only thing that came close was the Sky Cells. Imprisoning people in shelves on the side of the mountain's sheer cliffs, left open to the cold sky, with slightly sloping floors really said something about Jon’s ancestors. How many prisoners were driven mad by the cold and howling wind and commited suicide rather than remain imprisoned? Ned said it was a very convenient way to get rid of troublesome innocents. Troublesome nobles perhaps? If you have a naysayer or ten that just happened to be accused of this or that, the lord would naturally have them detained. If they just happened to jump out, then surely it must have been their guilt catching up to them?

    Ned was a real sourpuss sometimes. Obviously that happened in the past, but Jon wasn’t like that! Wasn’t that enough? If there was one thing that Robert found troublesome about Ned was how hung up northmen got about the past. Usually without getting hung up on preposterous stuff in their own past, like how Ned somehow decided that a good way to end his first week in the Eyrie was sleepwalking right into one of those cells one night. Without anyone stopping or seeing him. Somehow.

    Robert’s skin crawled at the memory even now, years later. If Robert hadn’t been woken up by that blasted raven and gone looking for him, who knows what would have happened? Certainly worse than Jon bringing the Gods’ own wrath down on the watchmen. And everyone else who might have been in a place to beguile or enchant or poison him or what have you.

    Robert left the High Hall the way he came, went down to the kitchens to order food sent up to Jon’s solar just in case, then went up there himself.

    Today was the day.

    The day he won Ned’s war.

    Then maybe the moron would finally sit down and listen to him that no, Ned, ‘ravens are watching over me and my brother sent me this ‘magic’ pendant’ still isn’t reason good enough to let that go!
     
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    Chapter II.2: Grinding Teeth Do Not a Gay Storm Make (VI)
  • Karmic Acumen

    Well-known member
    Author Note: I have never hated the task of writing a new chapter for any of my stories. This isn't where that changed, but I did dislike the experience of writing this chapter a fair bit. The conversation it's based on is one I still recall with very mixed feelings, and not just because it ended because of unwarranted outside interference. Still, I hope you find it as informative as I found it cathartic. It is plot-relevant - in fact, it's a big part of the set-up for the third volume - but it's still mostly an exploration of existing world-building. I dare say it works to set up Jon's characterisation though, as it will emerge in the next update, finally.

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    1200px-Battle_of_the_Seven_Stars.jpg


    “-. 278 AC .-“


    “An old legend told in Pentos claims that the Andals slew the swan maidens who lured travellers to their deaths in the Velvet Hills that lie to the east of the city. A man whom the Pentoshi singers call Hukko led the Andals at that time, and it is said that he slew the seven maids not for their crimes but instead as sacrifice to his gods. There are some maesters who have noted that Hukko may well be a rendering of the name of Hugor. Let’s defer disagreement for disagreement’s sake in favour of allowing that the Faith strives to make seven of everything. Chances are there weren’t really seven swan maidens. Knowing this, what are the odds that Hukko is in fact a variation of Hugor as the maesters suggest, and he slew just one very special ‘swan maiden’? The Seven-Pointed Star, Unveiling 3:6-7. ‘The Maid brought him forth a girl as supple as a willow with eyes like deep blue pools, and Hugor declared that he would have her for his bride. So the Mother made her fertile, and the Crone foretold that she would bear the king four-and-forty mighty sons. The Warrior gave strength to their arms, whilst the Smith wrought for each a suit of iron plates.’ Hugor Hill is ultimately another adaption of the Azor Ahai monomyth. And he’s not even the only one. Ser Galladon of Morne is one of many others – it’s said he was a champion of such valor that the Maiden herself lost her heart to him. She gave him an enchanted sword as a token of her love. The Just Maid, it was called. ‘No common sword could check her, nor any shield withstand her kiss.’ So this time, instead of the Maid bringing her forth, the merling wife is instead the Maiden herself. Ignoring for now the drowning symbolism that this Andal legend gives the Azor Ahai figure – very Ironborn of them – answer me why there are no traces of these stories in any of these places if they were really history? Answer me why I should believe these stories weren’t stolen and passed as their own from the people they butchered everywhere there is a carving of an axe in stone.”

    As he carefully lifted his dumbbells left and right so he wouldn’t miss his step on the treadmill, Robert Baratheon mused that Eddard Stark should be called the Quiet Wolf for all the stuff he kept quiet on. Praise, chastisement, good news, bad news, insults, he could swallow almost anything without losing his composure, even if he internally seethed and swore vows of eternal vengeance in private later. But then he went and did things like this. Got into a spat that lasted hours and only didn’t devolve into split bellies because every sword and mace and what have you was several walls away.

    “For someone who so decries my use of the Holy Book in these quaint arguments of ours, you certainly have no issues calling on it when it suits you, Lord Eddard.”

    “I wanted it to be banned from these talks but you refused. If you wanted to have sole claim to its content, you shouldn’t have gone around spreading its worship at swordpoint. Now don’t dodge the subject. Either meet my challenge or concede the point.”

    “There is no point to concede on. You try to argue the credibility of legends based on other legends. For someone who started this debate ostensibly on history, I expected better.”

    “Resorting to personal attacks already, Septon?”

    Robert switched arms. Urizen lost his temper a lot in the beginning, which allowed Ned to comment on how that obviously meant he didn’t have good enough counter-arguments. Repeatedly. Which was fair. People tended to resort to emotional attacks when logic and facts failed them.

    “Is that what I am doing? Are you sure you are not casting stones? You just implied the Prophet himself was a liar, murderer and butcher. If anyone is being personally attacked, it is I and every last one of my brothers and sisters in the Faith. I’d call it unchivalrous, but I already know you don’t hold to such ideals.”

    “As unchivalrous as forcing the Seven-Pointed-Star to be accepted at sword-point while calling it the one truth, instead of a bunch of legends as you just admitted to me right now.”

    “I did no such thing.”

    “’You try to argue the credibility of legends based on other legends’ is what you just told me. When I cited straight out of the Seven Pointed Star. I’ll grant you that you might have been referring to Galladon alone, but it’s telling you didn’t try to dispute the real point, isn’t it?”

    “You’re trying to circle back to our old argument. You believe faith is as downstream from culture while I hold to the opposite. We’ve debated this point before to no avail, despite the fact that the culture of a full six of the seven kingdoms were shaped by the Seven into what they are today. If this is a line you still wish to pursue, I’m afraid I cannot help you.”

    “You don’t say,” Ned said with an odd shade to his voice. “I’m sure it has nothing to do with your so-called culture having anything objectionable to it.”

    “You mock me, as if my stance on this point was ever in question. In respect of your young age, I’ll allow that the Stranger needn’t be on your mind. But to dismiss the crucial values of the other Seven is, quite frankly, ludicrous. The Father’s Justice, the Mother’s mercy, the Maiden’s innocence, the Smith’s craftsmanship, the Crone’s wisdom and, of course, the Warrior’s valor by which all others are preserved and carried forth, making reality out of the chivalric ideal. Tell me, are those not the most noble of virtues?”

    “You see, this is the part that outright infuriates me.” Robert carefully didn’t falter in his barbell side bends on seeing Ned glare at the Septon. He did not expect Ned’s angry incredulity so soon. “You say men are born sinners and bound to hell, and that we’re expected to take ownership of that sin even when we’re small and mindless and helpless as a fish out of water. But when we do something good, suddenly our actions don’t belong to us. You teach people to think themselves soiled from birth, and to believe they have no capacity for wisdom or justice or vim of their own. You teach that service is the highest honor, and obedience the highest virtue. But if I lead a righteous life, it doesn’t matter because the only innocence is of the Maiden. If I work hard to secure a place in the world for me and mine, it was only at the whim of the Smith who’s the only one capable of creating anything. If I show mercy, it’s because the Mother decided the one in front of me deserves it regardless of my opinion on it, so she’s mind-controlling me, is that it? If I do the right thing, it’s because I was possessed by the miasma of some splinter of a god I’ve never seen or felt or heard or known. Never mind my actual parents for teaching me how to live, they’re as filthy and worthless as I am. Never mind my teachers for passing down their knowledge and skills, they have no claim to them either, isn’t that right? Don’t honour my forebears for carving a place for me in this world, it’s only because the Warrior was in a good enough mood that they managed it. Does that mean the Warrior favored Theon the Hungry Wolf when he slaughtered Argos Sevenstars and everyone else in Andalos that struck his fancy? And chivalry, don’t make me laugh. You expect me to think the Andals came slaughtering their way into the Vale while preaching to protect women and children? They wouldn’t have made it past the Fingers before their men revolted! Chivalry does not and has never belonged to you. John the Oak established it thousands of years before the Andals even came into existence. But it’s just like you and yours to come and lay claim to things that you had no hand in. Chivalry, pah!”

    “I had hoped it would not come to this, Lord Eddard, but since you seem so determined to make murderers, cheats and liars of my ancestors against all common sense, as well as Lord Arryn’s own forebears and all of this country’s founders, I can only hope abundance of evidence will prevail where brevity failed.”

    “By all means, enlighten me.”

    Unfortunately, Ned didn’t seem to have adapted so well to the Septon’s topic-shifting stratagems. He still let himself be swept up in a completely different point when Urizen made himself out to be sufficiently hung up about it. Ned really needed to learn how to hold a proper grudge. Unfortunately, it looked like it would be the work of years to train him up. Why, most of the time it was still a miracle to make him acknowledge that there was a reason to hold a grudge in the first place! The man was so oblivious that Robert still had to literally point them out to him. Dirty fighting, kill stealing, prey stealing, skirt stealing, the utter waste of good fruit inflicted upon the world by the bloodline of man from the Summer Sea to the Wall and beyond. Beneath the lid of every jar of jam was the tragedy of plums that could have become booze, there wasn’t a bite that didn’t make Robert want to cry!

    True story.

    “First off, there is nothing to suggest that history was written or rewritten with a pro-Andal slant, for three simple and good reasons. To begin, the Andals had hostile rivals who would have every reason to keep this memory alive and well, your own House chief among them, who could use it as a means to rile up the population for war against the Vale of Arryn. This would put history outside of Andal control, but we have nothing to say that they did. The Starks would have been able to keep such a knowledge alive well up to the present – as it would have lived long enough for the Citadel – and certainly at the very least up to Aegon's Conquest, where even then, it could have been kept alive by the Citadel, who would have reason to write everything down. Just look at Sisterton for example – the Sistermen still remember the attack of the Northmen thousands of years later.”

    Now this was a clever way to start. Make broad, sweeping claims about Ned’s homeland that are guaranteed to piss him off, but which he can’t discount under his own rules of debating, because he was either too young or two much of a security risk to be given that information when he was just nine. It lets Urizen pretend he didn’t share the Faith’s general habit of preaching that the North is a land of uneducated barbarians, but it also guarantees to shake Ned’s balance no matter his view on the matter. Enough that Ned could even be too slow to make obvious retorts, like how the Faith Militant has been destroying keeps, killing dissenters, burning books, and allowing only new ones written in their tongue to leave the walls of the Citadel since they outright overthrew house Hightower way back when. But never you mind that, it means nothing that they needed Rickard Stark to come down there and cut the muzzle off everyone who didn’t agree with the Conclave. To say nothing of being able to run a child-buggering side-business straight out of the Scribe’s Hearth. Robert dropped the barbell rather more abruptly than usual and ignored the starts of everyone else in favor of adding more weights.

    The Septon composed himself quickly. “Secondly, nations outside of Westeros would have knowledge of such a thing, including the Free Cities as a number of them were assuredly founded by the time that the Andals actually made their way to Westeros – they were generally displaced by later Valyrian expansion after the destruction of the Rhoynar principalities, which would actually have a written account of the era. Even if the Starks somehow abandoned them and the Citadel forgot, Essos would still have records of the time, much as we Septons and, indeed, the maesters themselves in the time since the Andal coming have documented events happening in distant lands, providing a physical reserve to allow the idea to be revisited as desired.”

    I’ve clearly been there and checked their libraries to know this for certain, and let’s dismiss the talk about Hukko and Hugor that we just had, it’s so old and fanciful that it must be legends, and we all know that there’s not a grain of truth in myth and legends. Let’s also dismiss all the records on both sides of the Sea about all the other tribes that existed in the supposed Andal homeland until the Andals made it their homeland, but Robert was getting ahead of himself.

    “Secondly, the Citadel was most likely born of the First Men – according to what we know, the Citadel was built by Peremore Hightower, which would do very little to date the place were it not that we know that his father was supposed to have commissioned Brandon the Builder to create the Hightower in stone. That puts the two figures in the same era, and that means that the Citadel was founded before the Andals arrived in Westeros - that means that the maesters were an organization of the First Men, which in turn means that they would have had every reason to record Andal atrocities of the kind that you go back to again and again, and yet we have no such content.”

    That was a big, fat lie ten times over and then some, even disregarding the dark tidings coming out of the Citadel now, about how people used to find poison in their porridge if they disagreed with the Conclave, especially if they mentioned prophecy and dragons. Robert hurried to resume his lifts before the big ole’ dark cloud broke into thunder ahead of time.

    “You mock me,” Ned rumbled. His voice had deepened more than Robert’s own and no he wasn’t jealous at all, you piss off! “Or you think I came so unprepared to my own battle that I wouldn’t be able to call out lies when I hear them. Next you’ll try to claim the Vale of Arryn didn’t start out as a country of slavers and warmongers. You should be glad that culture trumps religion. Otherwise your forebears that you like to paint in bright colours would have been counter-struck out of existence once the Andals overreached. If the Andals had still been genocidal slavers by the time the Lannisters and Durrandons humbled them, I supremely doubt peace would have followed.”

    “Genocide? Slavery?” For the life of him, Robert couldn’t find any sign that the Septon’s outrage was fake. “Those are very strong claims that you're making there, ones that go against a massive amount of written material and indeed the very nature of Westeros as it is today. I trust you have a concrete source for them?”

    Ned reached for the top-most sheet of paper on the stack next to him and began to read. “’Such is the tale of the Battle of the Seven Stars as it is told by the singers and the septons. A stirring story to be sure, but the scholar must ask, how much of it is true? We shall never know. All that is certain is that King Robar II of House Royce met Ser Artys Arryn in a great battle at the foot of the Giant’s Lance, where the king died and the Falcon Knight dealt the First Men a blow from which they never recovered. The Arryns would rule the Vale as kings until the coming of Aegon the Conqueror and his sisters, and thereafter served as the Lords of the Eyrie, Protectors of the Vale, and Wardens of the East. And from that day forth, the Vale itself has been known as the Vale of Arryn.’” Ned’s voice turned cold then. “The fate of the defeated was far crueler. As word of the victory spread across the narrow sea, more and more longships set sail from Andalos, and more and more Andals poured into the Vale and the surrounding mountains. All of them required land – land the Andal lords were pleased to give them. Wherever the First Men sought to resist, they were ground underfoot, reduced to thralls, or driven out.’” Ned lifted his eyes with a glare and pushed the paper across the table for the Septon to take. “In short, genocide first, enslave if you're tired, or let them run into the Mountain of the Moon to starve.”

    Septon Urizen read it – or at least seemed to – then put it down and made to reply, but Ned had more to say.

    “’Regardless, the few children remaining fled or died, and the First Men found themselves losing war after war, and kingdom after kingdom, to the Andal invaders. The battles and wars were endless, but eventually all the southron kingdoms fell. As with the Valemen, some submitted to the Andals, even taking up the faith of the Seven. In many cases, the Andals took the wives and daughters of the defeated kings to wife, as a means of solidifying their right to rule. For, despite everything, the First Men were far more numerous than the Andals and could not simply be forced aside. The fact that many southron castles still have godswoods with carved weirwoods at their hearts is said to be thanks to the early Andal kings, who shifted from conquest to consolidation, thus avoiding any conflict based on differing faiths.’ For all the control the Faith has held on Oldtown since Septon Robeson mysteriously ended up regent of a newborn Hightower lordling – and stayed regent for years after Triston reached the age of majority – maesters still managed to slip these nuggets of truth past their good and wise masters.” Ned spoke as plainly as ever, as if he’d not just called the Septons and the Citadel Conclave by the same titles as the Good and Wise Masters of Slaver’s Bay. “I’ve underlined the bit that is most important – from the beginning and until they conquered a bunch of places, the Andals had been trying – with varying degrees of success and then failure, per the bit I quoted above – to ‘sweep us entirely aside.’ Do also keep in mind that the Andals had no war cause other than manifest destiny in all this. Is this enough records and attestation, Septon? Or would you like to talk about where exactly it says when and how the Andals betrayed their Rhoynar patrons when they accepted the secret of steel, only to immediately abandon them to the Valyrians they were supposed to be at odds with?” Ned pushed that paper forward too. “What I find most poignant is that the failed state of the First Men of the Vale might have become the first nation in Westeros ruled by a council of equals, if not for the invasion. I'm not sure what it says about the rest of us that the Mountain Clans of the Vale have more freedom of word and equal representation in the halls of power that the rest of us.”

    The Septon busied himself with reading the quotations Ned had provided and referenced (a least three times over knowing him). The man’s brow furrowed the more he read. Robert began to work on his legs as he waited, though inside he was already wondering about something completely different.

    “Alright,” Septon Urizen finally huffed. “There is a lot to unpack here. I’ll apologise for my verbosity in advance, but I’m afraid it can’t be helped.” The man took a bunch of that fancy vellum from his own stack. “Fortunately, I expected you to take this line of argument so I’ve prepared my own rebuttals ahead of time. Many of the passages you quoted even overlap with mine. I’ve placed my own emphasis on certain sections that need to be remembered. The important ones I’ve done in red.”

    Somehow, Ned didn’t roll his eyes or huff or otherwise emote as he accepted the vellum.

    “There's three major things that need to be remembered here,” the septon began (again). “First, brutal repression of conquered peoples does not mean genocide even if it does result in a bloodbath. Two, thralldom is not necessarily slavery, or we’d have to denounce all the houses that practice serfdom, down to people captured in war being able to be forced into it. There are clear distinctions from it. And last but not least, three: the passages you cited aren’t actually the entirety of the quote block, which removes it of much needed context. I've added the full transcripts, but for the sake of expediency I will only read out the parts that are relevant.

    “’No fewer than fourteen of the oldest and noblest houses of the Vale ended that day. Those whose lines endured—the Redforts, the Hunters, the Coldwaters, the Belmores, and the Royces themselves amongst them—did so only by the dint of yielding up gold and land and hostages to their conquerors and bending their knees to swear fealty to Artys Arryn, the First of His Name, new-crowned King of Mountain and Vale.’ And additionally… ‘In time some of these fallen houses would regain much of the pride and wealth and power lost on the battlefield that day, but that would require the passage of centuries. Some of the First Men surely survived by joining their own blood with that of the Andals, but many more fled westward to the high valleys and stony passes of the Mountains of the Moon.’ The descendants of this once-proud people you know well – they dwell there to this very day, leading short, savage, brutal lives amongst the peaks as bandits and outlaws, preying upon any man fool enough to enter their mountains without a strong escort. Little better than the free folk beyond the Wall, these mountain clans, too, are called wildlings by the civilized.

    “As you can see, this tells a far more complete story of what actually happened, and what happened was that the houses of the First Men got crushed by the Andals – those that weren't destroyed outright in battle bent the knee and were accepted as vassals by the Arryn king, and would eventually return to their normal power as vassals of the Andals. What happened then was not so much a massacre by the ruling Andal classes, but the result of a massive influx of what would have been the Andalosi version of the commonfolk, who poured into Westeros and started settling, displacing the locals in some places, who would then flee into the mountains to continue the fight after their lords surrendered, fighting to reclaim their farms and villages and whatnot. Essentially, the victors seized the property of the native people and then set up their own homes and livelihoods in their place, whilst those that existed there already end up as the new lower class and were gradually assimilated over time until both groups were one and the same. The idea that the Andals could have shipped enough people across the Narrow Sea to outright replace the entire population of the Vale is, quite frankly, ridiculous.

    “I admit it was not all rainbows and sunshine, but there is a clear distinction between the typical thing that happens to conquered people, and outright genocide. In fact, it is on a whole different level entirely, so much so that I would say that the only power in history we could actually call genocidal would have been the Valyrian Freehold, whose actions against the Rhoynar are outright genocide of a scale that beggars belief, either slaughtering a quarter of a million men or working them to death in the mines, and that was just in the first conflict. There is a vast gulf of difference between people being turned into peasants because their lords got killed, and what happened to the Rhoynar or, say, the Children of the Forest at the hands of your own forebears.

    “In reality, the Andal invasion of the Vale reached resulted in, one, the regular nobility being smashed into submission and forced to swear fealty, with some houses destroyed but eventually able to regain most of their power. Or two, the property of many peasants was seized to make way for Andal peasants, and some peasants were made into serfs but eventually married into the Andal families enough that they all become a mix of Andal and First Men. To this you add the First Men that did not want to become serfs and fled into the mountains to fight on. All in all, none of that is really outside the scope of warfare.”

    Septon Urizen then went on a long, involved spiel about the various definitions of genocide, how the only acceptable definition involved both intent and action; how that action had to involve at least four atrocities (killing, torture, destruction of livelihood, preventing procreation and/or taking their children away), and how Ned was totally wrong to accuse the Andals of pursuing genocide because he can’t prove they meant it.

    “No one but the Valyrian Freehold meets those requirements in their actions,” the Septon finally concluded that part of his spiel. “The conquest of the Vale was bloody, let none say otherwise. But it was no greater crime than every other war in the world, even those from living memory. To constitute genocide, there must be a proven intent on the part of perpetrators to physically destroy another people. Destroying their culture does not suffice, nor does an intention to simply disperse a people. It is this special intent that makes the crime of genocide so unique. This is the requirement for the intention to utterly destroy a given people. Not subdue them, not conquer them with fire and sword, destroy them, root and stem, babe and mother. That was not the Andal's intention - if it was, the Royces and the other houses of the First Men would never have survived the Battle of Seven Stars. They would have been put to the sword, their castles breached and their kin massacred to the last, and it wouldn't just be the lords that are slaughtered, but the peasantry, too. That is the point where you cross from war to genocide. It is the question of intent, and without the specific intent to actually destroy the First Men as a people, it just does not qualify, and I will defend this judgment against anyone who tried to say it was false with a week’s worth of sermons that will make this small talk look like a playward argument.”

    So the Andals tried and tried for decades and centuries to ‘grind underfoot’ all the ones in their path, but because the First Men were too many and powerful that the Andals failed their holy genocide, this somehow means they never wanted genocide despite all their own claims and efforts to the contrary. Disregard the fact they succeeded in killing, torturing, destroying the livelihood, and preventing the procreation of entire clans and kingdoms by killing the men and enslaving the women and children there. After all, they were all First Men, and any distinction at a level lower than continent-wide doesn’t matter. Also ignore the ruinous cost in life and strength that Robar inflicted on the Andals, because that certainly had no effect on their ability to continue their war of extermination. Also ignore the fact that the Andals were nomads, so they travelled whole clans at a time and didn’t have a commoner or serf class to import from abroad. Now here’s a veiled warning that he’ll subject you to his oh so thoroughly mastered talent of rambling so much that he makes you think he has a point just because he had a lot to say, even if all the had to say was complete dogshit. Robert put the weights back in their rack and began a round of pushups, just so he was properly occupied while he pondered how much it helped you look smart if you could talk so much that people couldn’t remember half of what you just said, let alone retain anything long-term.

    “In any case, the Andals could not have simply suppressed all the people with violence, force them to their knees and then convert them at the tip of the sword.” Never mind all those clans and kingdoms I just mentioned, or how that’s all they did in Essos for hundreds or thousands of years prior, depending on who you asked. “Instead, they had to do what I underlined there: they consolidated their realms to keep themselves at the top of the power structure. The examples we have from the Coming only serve to support this line of thinking all the more and the histories show it plain as day.”

    Septon Urizen then followed this with another, even longer spiel about how Ned’s citations were all just ‘questionable wording’ (but his own weren’t despite being sourced from the same places), that the worst the Andals did was smash the nobility and take their place, marrying into their dynasties if possible, and then letting things basically continue as business as usual without interfering with local practices (bullshit), and that, clearly, it was all because of the good and righteous and merciful nature of the Andals that the Reach and Westerlands and the Stormlands and Dorne didn’t go the way of the Vale or Riverlands. It couldn’t possibly have had anything to do with all those places and people having something to say on the matter. Like Tristifer Mudd bringing their holy conquest to a stop single-handedly for a whole generation. Or Casterly Rock finally forcing the Andals to abide by First Man guest right and honor by taking Andal heirs hostage. Or the Andals losing and being forced to bend the knee by the Durrandon kings. Why, House Durrandon converted to the Seven despite winning, everything else that happened there has absolutely zero importance at all! And please, don’t bring up Theon Stark and the War across the Water, that thousand years of sea war was only about three tiny islands and his raids of Andalos were completely unrelated, as was landing his troops in the Fingers. Archmaester Perestan himself said so just before his head became an Oldtown spike ornament!

    Ahem.

    Timing, Robert told himself. It’s all in the timing.

    “You need only look at the Seven kingdoms themselves to see that the vast majority of the First Men dynastic structure has survived the Andal Invasion,” the septon was still talking. “This is so indisputable that I won’t even bother looking for attestations. A mere glance shows houses all over Westeros that are of the First Men in every region of the South, even those that the Andals did conquer their way through - the Royces are an obvious and easy example.” No they weren’t, Runestone was way way out of the way! “And I really don't think I need to go on because there are so, so many. But this is something that is immensely important, because it actually shows the real nature of how the invasion unfolded - the Andals didn't rip up every lord they defeated, else the Royces and the like would never have made it to the present day, but subjugated them. They conquered and installed themselves either atop of the hierarchy, such as House Arryn, or replaced those that had been destroyed, like the Corbrays. But more often than not integrated into the structure of the First Men directly and even swore to serve them, as happened with the Reach and other regions. This gives a massive insight into the nature of the Coming of the Andals, because it shows that it wasn't nearly as bloody an affair as you might imagine.”

    “On the contrary, it shows that the Andals, in those places where they did fight directly and win, were more interested in subjugation than destruction. They wanted to take over Westeros and the Westerosi realms, not slaughter them all and use the few who survived as slaves. Indeed, if the Andals really were running from the threat of being the next on the Freehold's dinner plate – and they most likely were – then the reality of the situation would be that they don't really hate the First Men enough to want them dead in the first place, they're trying to find a place to live where they won't get slaughtered and enslaved by the Valyrians, a place where their loved ones can live in safety. If that means they have to swear fealty to kings of the First Men and fight their battles for them, then that's a fair bargain, and it would explain very well why they came to places like the Reach and were so quick to bend the knee rather than actually try and conquer the place despite the warm reception.”

    Listen to me contradict myself on everything I pretended not to admit to just five minutes ago, in the hopes you won’t notice so that you can’t use these facts to destroy my argument as would otherwise be demanded by common sense.

    “Hells, I'd even say it is easier to make that as an argument than do the inverse. Think Nymeria's invasion, but on a much larger scale and not bereft of the cornerstone of the Faith that proved so mighty. That said, I don’t hold it against you that you were so easily seduced by these slanted words and allusions. It is certainly easier to say that the Andals came to Westeros to get away from the Valyrians whether through war or peace, than to say that they came because they desired lands and castles when they already had them in the east.”

    Never mind that the most impressive thing the Andals ever built was a wooden keep in Lorath. Never mind that Braavos and Pentos and everywhere else the Andals roamed have square towers at best. Never mind that the first and only attestation of Andal-Valyrian conflict has the Andals as the aggressors, when Qarlon the Would-be-Great King of all Andals attacked Norvos, and the Valyrians intervened to protect their colony, burning his army and all Andal lands up to the wooden keep in Lorath aforementioned. And certainly don’t you mind that the only reason the Eyrie exists is because the big, round castles and towers of the First Men made Roland Arryn’s cock feel small.

    “For your notion, Lord Eddard, that the First men of the Vale might have created some odd realm of equals, this I absolutely do not buy in the slightest. Just because the clans themselves have that kind of equality does not mean that the First Men did. The Mountain Clans are as much a product of the Andal invasion as the Arryns themselves are, the peasantry of the realms of the First Men stripped of their nobles after Andal migrants seized their lands and properties, not some separate world of the original culture of the Vale.” But he’d just finished talking about all those noble houses and clans that did survive and flee there. “When your people are living on the fringes and fighting for their lives in the countryside, it isn't surprising that they'd start to veer away from any kind of governmental structure. If the mountain clans were to fight against the Vale, they had to develop such a thing, else the Arryns would have a list of targets that they could pick off to cripple their resistance and cut the clans off at the head.” They did have the list though. They’re called chieftains. “Considering that the realms of the First Men are always shown as kingdoms and the like by historians, it is safe to say that this is how it was before as ell. As such, I completely dismiss the idea that the First Men in the Vale had a council of equals at all. That is at most just a development to keep their resistance when the Valemen hold practically every other advantage.”

    Never mind that little thing called a moot, those never happened, right Ned? Right?

    “Finally, to your preposterous notions that the Andals took slaves, let me remind you that the Andals fled Essos to escape slavery.” Because it’s not like Valyria and Ghis were both slavers while they were bashing faces. “And ultimately, by your own choice of attestation, the worst the Andals ever did was not slavery but thraldom, and thraldom is actually a practice with a history that far precedes the arrival of the Andals to Westeros. It has been in Westeros for as long as men have been there to call it Westeros. This is not just where it comes from for the Ironborn, who are a distinct culture unto themselves, but also belonged to the First Men.
    Further, thralldom should not be conflated with chattel slavery as it exists in certain of the Free Cities and lands farther east. Unlike slaves, thralls retain certain important rights. A thrall belongs to his captor, and owes him service and obedience, but he is still a man, not property. Thralls cannot be bought or sold. They may own property, marry as they wish, have children. The children of slaves are born into bondage, but the children of thralls are born free; any babe born on one of the islands is considered ironborn, even when both his parents are thralls. Nor may such children be taken from their parents until the age of seven, when most begin an apprenticeship or join a ship's crew.”

    So let’s not mention the Ironborn because they’re not real First Men, but let me describe thraldom as it’s practiced by the Ironborn anyway.

    Here, Ned finally broke silence. “If you’re planning to paint the First Men as slavers, we’re going to have a big problem, you and I.”

    “Not at all. What worshippers of the Old Gods I have talked to all say that the Old Gods hold slavery to be an abomination. What I am trying to show you, Lord Eddard, is the simple reality of it. Neither the Andals nor the First Men practiced slavery.”

    Now this surprised Robert so much it almost messed up his groove. He himself had found two different mentions of First Men kings making thralls of their rivals and their people. Could the man really not be aware of them? Then again, the other First Men kings around them destroyed the offenders pretty much immediately for it. But Urizen had pretended arguments weren’t arguments for far more solid arguments than that, so why?

    That aside, was the man arguing ancient history based on how things are like now? What?

    “So while they may have both practiced the concept of thralldom at one time or another, but thralldom is not the same thing as slavery.” Oh, that’s why. “In fact, it is just a different way of referring to the serfdom practiced in the Stormlands and the Reach, which is the concept with which it shares the most. At most, it is indentured servitude, and even that has effectively died out in both the North and the South by the present era, with all the commonborn peoples of the land being just called smallfolk or peasants or what have you.” But the present era isn’t what you’re talking about, so how is that an argument? “That's the only way to square the circle – either the First Men and the Andals both engaged in it, in which case both of them are guilty of slavery, or thraldom is not slavery and thus neither of them did it, but practiced serfdom for a time together that ended before canon. But to say that the Andals practiced Essosi-style slavery is, in my honest opinion, beyond preposterous.”

    Here are the two choices I’m giving you, because there can’t be others and you’re not allowed to have an opinion I didn’t feed you myself. Robert made a show of jumping to his feet, twisting and stretching so that nobody paid attention to him biting his own fist. Jon saw, but since the man had chosen not to interfere even once so far, Robert was fine ignoring him with the same ease he ignored his role as arbitrator.

    “So, to sum everything up. The Andals weren’t monsters. The Andals weren’t slavers. And the Andals certainly perpetrated no genocide. And if all I’ve told you is somehow still not enough proof, there is one simple fact that proves it: people remember. You saw this for yourself soon after your initial arrival here. I trust I needn’t remind you of Lord Borrell of Sisterton, and what occurred when asked for a meeting with him after the events of the Spring Festivities?”

    ‘I have no love for northmen,’ Robert remembered with all the clarity of an undying grudge.

    “The maesters say the Rape of the Three Sisters was two thousand years ago, but Sisterton has clearly not forgotten. They were a free people before that, with their kings ruling over them. Afterward, we had to bend our knees to the Eyrie to get the Northmen out. The wolf and the falcon fought over us for a thousand years, till between the two of them they had gnawed all the fat and flesh off the bones of those poor islands.” Yes, the poor pirates that raided your shores and killed your men and carried off the women and children along with all the food and wealth, feel bad for them Ned! “Crimes and atrocities of this kind are not forgotten. They become all but immortal, passed down from father to son and mother to daughter, perpetuated for eternity in song and recorded in writing. You cannot erase genocide.”

    Yes you can. Also, you’re not talking about genocide if there are fathers and mothers and sons left for the story to be passed on. They’d all be dead instead, and the infamous Mark wouldn’t exist anymore either. Which means that what happened in the Sisters wasn’t genocide, unlike those dozens of First Men clans and houses and their hundreds of thousands or who knew how many people that don’t matter because only the fact they were all First Men matters.

    “You can keep genocide out of conversation of course, but you cannot get rid of it. If the coming of the Andals was as bloody as you might think it to be, if they slaughtered their way through Westeros and forced the rest to their knees at the threat of death, people would remember this. You can't just snuff out the tale, try as you might. It will live on and be passed on. You don't just massacre tens of thousands of people and have everyone forget in a few generations. The same holds true here. If the Andal invasion was so bloody, why are there no accounts of it? Why do we see nothing written in books or the writings of maesters? Why do we hear nothing of singers and their ageless lament for those that have died? Why do we hear nothing of it in Winterfell, which might've recoiled in horror? Why is there no collective memory of such an act, when such acts should produce one? We know that the Andals did not massacre everyone in the South, so if they did do it, there would be people across the land who would remember, and the tale would have lived well to the present, recorded in song and scripture and statue and all the arts, in the North and in the South, so if a great slaughter that killed a vast number of the First Men had unfolded in the south, where is the memory of it?”

    That written memory of it is precisely what he cited that start of this entire mess of a sermnon, Robert seethed but didn’t say. Not yet time to intervene. Not yet. You had to wait for a man to exhaust himself and deliver the coup de grace at the end, otherwise you’re liable to have your opponent huff and puff and pretend that strike you gave him in the beginning of the spar was a mild graze instead of a fatal strike to the neck. If there was anything Ned needed to learn more than holding a proper grudge, it was how to take things in proper order. Bringing up the genocidal slavery of the Andals at the start of the argument instead of the end was Ned’s biggest mistake.

    Bigger only than Ned’s way of keeping quiet instead of arguing back when he thought the other person was hopeless. It made it easy for Septon to believe – or pretend to believe – Ned didn’t have a counter-argument when Ned really just thought the man was wasting his time with tangents that didn’t have their place. This was why the man only grew more shameless. This was why Ned was going to lose the argument even though he was right about everything.

    “Finally,” the Septon said at length. “Because I know you will latch onto it if I don’t address all of your points, chivalry is most assuredly an Andal concept, because all of the key tenants of chivalry are found in Andal society. This one sums itself up in the statement, and I could begin by talking about the blood sacrifices that the First Men committed historically, and the mention of entrails hanging in weirwood trees, but I have a far better thing to kill this particular thought dead once and for all. That thing is none other than the tradition of First Night.”

    And here, as if to put paid to the notion that ‘finally’ should herald any sort of conclusion, the Septon went on his longest spiel yet. First he read out, word for word, the entire talk between Good Queen Alyssanne and Jaehaerys the Conciliator and Septon Barth about the tradition of First Night, straight out of the first and only published volume of Archmaester Gyldayn’s Fire & Blood, Being a History of the Targaryen Kings of Westeros. Though it was all the ‘points’ Urizen made after that almost made Robert’s brain dribble out of his ears.

    “Much as I’m sure you’ll take offense to hearing, Lord Eddard, Queen Alysanne only saw this practice whilst she was in the North; she met a multitude of girls and women who had all been raped by their lords under the ‘right” to the first night. And let’s not mince words, despite the ban the good King and Queen imposed, the practice continues in the North even now despite being extinct in the south. And it is this very concept of the right of the first night that is completely opposed to the concept of knighthood and chivalry in a way that simply cannot be reconciled - the very vows of a knight say to protect all women and defend the weak and the innocent, as is mentioned in the oath itself. ‘In the name of the Warrior I charge you to be brave. In the name of the Father I charge you to be just. In the name of the Mother I charge you to defend the young and innocent. In the name of the Maid I charge you to protect all women.’ I trust I don’t need to recite the rest? A society that keeps the right of the First Night cannot be considered a society that seriously considers the chivalric ideal, yet alone is capable of being declared its homeland.”

    But that was bullshit! Even if you ignored the fact that knights break their oath not to rape and pillage even when there isn’t a convenient war to act out, the only ones who make that oath are knights. Many lords don’t become knights, and even those who do still get to do whatever they want! Hells, even sworn knights break their vows all the time. Or was this Robes’ way to finally meander around in the vague direction of the whole John the Oak thing?

    “You can't have both a practice that preys upon women and then turn and say to defend all women,” Robes continued – again – as if he didn’t have counter-proof in the shape of nine out of every ten knights everywhere. Duncan the Tall and Aemon the Dragonknight were one in a million, considered exceptional because they lived up to the oaths, and even so, the latter was said to have cucked the king himself! “Even though many people might only pay lip-service to such values rather than uphold them in truth, even that lip service is enough to strike it dead and strip off the legal protections that enshrined it in law and protected a lord from being declared a rapist...and yet, despite that, despite the practice practically dying off in the south to the point that the only instance we know of it being used there was Gargon Qoherys, it is still practiced in the North, and it is still a part of the culture of the First Men, even if we were to take the high road and say we’d have to go all the way to Skagos to find it. It took Targaryen power to kill it, and even then it still lingers like a ghost in the North, where it persists all the way to this day. If the First Night was a practice born of the First Men and persisted for thousands of years until the coming of the Andals, what does that say of their chances of being the originating point of chivalry as it exists in Westeros? The form of chivalry which puts the protection of women as one of its highest virtues? I think it says it all, actually, and that all is a simple ‘low.’”

    Ned had long since let his head cradle in his hand, and the motion of straightening in his seat was near as painstaking as his tone. “So… your arguments can be summed up as… your interpretation of the same sources is the only correct one; the Andals were not just not worse than the people whose land they invaded without cause, but morally superior; and this is indisputably proven by how things are now, thousands years later, on the basis of a discussion not on chivalry but a completely different tradition, between two people that not only aren’t Andals themselves, but belong to the only family in the world that practiced first night more shamelessly than all the First men houses you can name.”

    “Careful, Lord Eddard,” the Septon chided. “That’s getting rather near to treason.”

    “Look, Septon. You have the gift of speaking, but you're prone to treating your own beliefs as truth instead of paying existing textual evidence its proper due. Since you decided to ever so laboriously stop on this note, let me reiterate the truth on the matter of chivalry. Chivalry is explicitly attributed to John the Oak, Garth Greenhand's son. By an unbroken civilisation with at least two different lines of written records dating back before the long night, even if you discount my homeland as me being biased: House Oakheart, and the Citadel. You yourself acknowledge the importance of record keeping and whatnot in the Citadel's existence. But you still argue that somehow, because today’s so-called Andal society currently happens to be chivalrous – never mind what knights really are like in practice – you argue that this must mean the Andals invented chivalry. Never mind all this I have here,” Ned took several papers from his stack, though it was Jon he gave them to this time. “These are myriad attestation where the Andals only got the better of the Valemen because the latter were the honorable ones and assumed the Andals would abide by their word about alliances and whatnot. All the while, you seem to completely miss the much more likely explanation of the invaders being assimilated by the natives instead. And yes, this does include your religion.”

    “Now those truly are are bold claims. I-“

    “I’m not finished.” Ned growled. “I let you speak for nigh onto an hour. You will let me speak until I’m done.”

    The septon pursed his lips but didn’t leave it without looking at Jon first.

    Jon – Robert still couldn’t tell what he felt about this – shook his head and gestured to Ned to continue.

    The Septon sat back and crossed his arms. “Fine, very well, go ahead Lord Eddard. The outcome will be the same either way.”

    Promises, promises. Robert thought as he did his wind-down stretches. If he read the situation right, he should be cool and dry again by the time the storm breaks.

    “By your own admission, you tell the smallfolk there are seven gods instead of one because they are too stupid to understand seven aspects.” That had been several ‘debates’ ago, Robert recalled. “If you can lie about something that fundamental, you expect me to believe you can’t be wrong about anything else, deliberately or otherwise? Religion is just a way to control the masses, and therefore subject to revision as needed. Which seems to have happened in every way that matters. ‘How did the Andals transform’ you ask, are you kidding? By your own claim – which you are infinitely proud of – the Andals switched from whatever they had before to the Faith of the Seven within a single generation!”

    Whoa, Ned! What’s with the raised voice? Ned was getting pissed, since when did Ned lose his temper before Robert did? Danger, danger!

    “You speak as if the survival of the First men societal structure is entirely due to Andal magnanimity,” Ned seethed, finally touching on some of Robert’s own thoughts. “As if the resistance, rivalry and ultimate triumph of the other kingdoms against you had no stake in the matter at all. Can you even stomach admitting why the Andals went for the Vale first? They weren't a proper unified kingdom, just a bunch petty kings and chieftains meeting occasionally for a moot – which I noticed you entirely left out while you made your dismissal of the Clans as they were at the time. Meanwhile, the North had already finished consolidating its half of the continent, and the Stormlands had become a unified kingdom even before then. If the Andals had invaded any of those places, they’d have been slapped down and turned into beach ornaments. In fact, they were! And those similarities between the Andals and First Men that you only bring up when it suits you, and so much else you argued, so-called – do you not realise that looking at present circumstances and arguing on that alone, that this must have been the nature of things and events thousands of years past, is disingenuous to the point of insanity? You think I can’t see the implications in the apparent moral similarities between North and South despite the former being the only one that did not change from the Old Way? Should I even bother destroying this entire notion of Andal ancestral values you profess to have, or will you just go on a tangent and pretend to have counter-argued when you never did such a thing at all?”

    “No indeed,” Robes said blandly. “Though if you wish me to reiterate my points with yet more arguments, then why don’t you answer some of my questions in turn? Much of the Andal invasion proceeded via diplomatic integration of the two factions, as was the case of the Reach and other major kingdoms that the Andals could not conquer. How could this have possibly occurred if the Andals had the reputation of genocidal monsters, come from the east to slaughter and enslave?” Because you lost a few hundred wars in the meantime, and underwent several hundred years’ worth of culture shift as a result, duh. “It is even written that the founder of the Arryns married one of the Children of the Forest, who died giving birth to his child. If the Andals were brutal conquerors, why would he marry one of them, and more still, why would the conquering Andals have any interest in recording potential descent from one of them?”

    “Gods below, that was an entirely different Artys Arryn dating back to the Age of Heroes, or are you going to claim the Arryns themselves can’t tell them apart? Jon, what do you say to this?”

    “… I believe I will defer for now,” Jon said at length. “Ask me again after this is over.”

    Robert was stunned. How could he? How could he just do that?

    Urizen nodded as if he won the point. “Why would houses of the First Men in the Reach, Westerlands and Stormlands marry into Andals ones if they knew that they had just slaughtered thousands of people just like them? Why would they have accepted such people into their homes, when their hands were still wet with the blood of so many others like them?” Because the First Men made you pay in blood for all of them and then some, duh! And there was never such an alliance that didn’t happen without an Andal hostage or five as insurance! “Another question, and this one is for you yourself, Lord Eddard: why would the Northmen have ever accepted the Andalic Manderlys into the North? Indeed, how did Andal culture propagate through Westeros if it carried the stain of a genocide?”

    “The Manderlys aren’t Andals,” Ned interrupted, voice as cold as all the snows of the last winter combined. “If you expect to persuade me you aren’t a liar or at least completely misinformed, you are failing badly.”

    “Oh please. Hardly anyone in Westeros is left that is pure Andal or First Man.”

    Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit, did he not realise who he was talking to? Did he not realize how many of his own arguments he was contradicting? Again? Did he not realise what a perfect opening this was for the counter-argument that this must mean the Andals were counter-assimilated – and then some – or this would never have happened? Would Ned see the opening? Would he take it?

    He didn’t.

    “Finally, tell me this: if the Andals really were a genocidal, slaving people on the march, how did they ever transform into the form we see now? If they had done that and achieved domination over Westeros, so much so that the Faith even assimilated its peoples, why would there be any need for what would effectively be a fundamental reconstruction of their society above and beyond any point of recognition? Clearly, it was because-”

    “Stop passing off my arguments as yours, you lying serpent!” Ned howled, standing up so fast that his chair toppled back with a crash.

    Robert gaped.

    There was a strained silence.

    Ned took a deep breath and dragged the nearby chair over to sit back down on. “The only reason there wasn’t a genocide of the First Men is because the Andals tried but failed. The only reason your Faith still exists is because your holy war to shove it down the throats of everyone in whatever form it had starting out failed. The only reason you can sit there and make such insolent claims that you brought the light of the Seven to Westeros is because your own religion was turned inside out and changed to suit the people of these lands. Or will you somehow claim all the records about the North rejecting Andal influence are also all wrong? How are the greatest tenets of the New and Old way so similar? Why are the highest standards the same North and South of the Neck? Oathkeeping, guest right, kinslaying, protect those under you, all of them are First men traditions dating back to the Dawn of Days. Are you going to claim the Andals were the origin of all of that too?”

    “Such is the nature of myth,” Robes shrugged, and no, he couldn’t have just…? “And so we come again to the issue of chivalry.” He did, unbelievable, what did he think he still had left to- “You keep mentioning John the Oak, who is regarded as the father of chivalry within the Reach, but there is a caveat to that which needs to be said – he did not invent it, he brought it there. And yes, I do have written proof of this as well.” Vellum rustled under Robert’s disbelieving eyes, wasn’t it Robes that just went on a rant about how wording shouldn’t be trusted, what was he- “’John the Oak, the First Knight, who brought chivalry to Westeros. A huge man, all agree, eight feet tall in some tales, ten or twelve feet tall in others, sired by Garth Greenhand on a giantess. His own descendants became the Oakhearts of Old Oak.” Robes put the vellum down. “Now, there are actually two words that slide directly into this point, and which neutralizes this as a line of thought outright. The first is that he is referred to as a knight, which is an Andal title.” In the common tongue, that didn’t mean- “The second is that he brought it to the Reach, which implies that it does not originate in that place.” Because nothing originates in the Reach, he may well have been already alive when Garth showed up the second time and brought the First Men along, how was this complicated? “There are now multiple ways to proceed from that realization and understanding, because we can't exactly take one half of the account and accept it and then dismiss the other as nonsense, as that's just picking and choosing what you want to accept as true or not.” Oh, he finally realised it!? “Possibility one: the text is true, and thus John the Oak was a knight, which means that he was either an Andal or visited a culture with a similar concept of knighthood and got the concept from them - as such, chivalry comes from the Andals, who are stated multiple times to be the source of knighthood; compare and contrast them to the Northmen, who don't go around calling each other knights.” But the North has had Masters for thousands of years and their own word for it in Old Tongue and- “And the second possibility: the text is false and thus John the Oak was not a knight, which means that he did not bring chivalry to the Reach. This would make him a mythological figure, someone who isn't actually real, but made up to give the Oakhearts a stronger lineal claim. That's fine, and entirely reasonable, but it means that the concept of chivalry came from elsewhere, which leads back to the only faction that actually has knights – the Andals, so once again, the Reach gets it from them.”

    Ned sat back in his chair, gaping stupidly. “You’re delusional.”

    “Not at all. There is simply no evidence to say that chivalry originated in Westeros other than that statement, and it is has two serious flaws in it.” But absence of evidence wasn’t evidence of absence, that’s one of the first thing the Maester said when he began teaching them rhetoric! And who was he to claim what evidence did or didn’t exist outside whatever stuff he read or didn’t? Sweeping claims, Jon, sweeping claims everywhere, Jon say something! “It, like the idea of Brandon the Builder being born in the Reach, cannot truly be considered to be serious statements of absolute logic. Or will you next try to claim Garth Greenhand’s myth is true as written? Keep in mind there were many of them, often conflicting in nature.”

    Ned closed his mouth but still he continued to stare. “You just seriously claimed John the Oak was an Andal.” Never mind that he was Garth Greenhand’s son who dated to the beginning of the Age of Heroes, well before the Andals even existed and the Long Night itself. “You’re insane.”

    “Hardly.” The Septon smiled mildly. “In fairness to you, many of the more primitive peoples of the earth worship a fertility god or goddess, and Garth Greenhand has much and more in common with these deities. It was Garth who first taught men to farm, it is said. Before him, all men were hunters and gatherers, rootless wanderers forever in search of sustenance, until Garth gave them the gift of seed and showed them how to plant and sow, how to raise crops and reap the harvest. In some tales, he tried to teach the elder races as well, but the giants roared at him and pelted him with boulders, whilst the children laughed and told him that the gods of the wood provided for all their needs. Where he walked, farms and villages and orchards sprouted up behind him. About his shoulders was slung a canvas bag, heavy with seed, which he scattered as he went along. His bag was inexhaustible; within were seeds for all the world's trees and grains and fruits and flowers. All quite befitting of a god, not a man. I'm sure that the idea that the Reach was led by a literal god king in ancient days is popular there, but I wouldn't exactly take it and the ideas revolving around it with anything less than a fistful of salt.”

    Gods preserve him, if any of them were real at all, what next? Was he going to claim Bran the Builder never existed despite his being the first tomb in Winterfell’s crypt? Was Robes going to claim the Andals invented reading? Writing? Fostering? Westeros’ whole mythology? The Order of the Green Hand!? Ned, the Smith just blessed the Faithful with a ship so fine it sails against the wind, quick! Let’s find and run away on it before another one of them Greyjoys beats us to it and disappears into the sunrise! I don’t care whatshisname already has half the Iron Fleet, you think he’ll say no to one more? Don’t you judge me, look at all them old cunts that got a mermaid bride, I want one too! … Although a wolf bride wouldn’t be too bad either since we’re on the subject –

    “Jon,” Ned said, his voice suddenly weary, disappointed and resigned – again with being so freakin’ resigned! “That’s it. I’m done.”

    Well fine.

    Robert was done with waiting too.
     
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