Warhammer 40K Scooby Doo, Dog-Emperor of Mankind Has Replaced the Primarchs, Improving Setting Immeasurably

Husky_Khan

The Dog Whistler... I mean Whisperer.
Founder
All of the Primarchs had Scooby Doo's DNA personally dry humped into their vitae wombs or gestation capsules or whatever was used to make the first Primarchs. So all of the Primarchs were still bred to be perfect generals, warriors and statesdoggos; larger, stronger, faster, and smarter than any normal Canine could ever hope to be. They possessed a potent charisma and martial prowess that made them like the mythical gods of old, untouchable by disease, old age or supposedly the petty failings of lesser mutts.

Ultramarines:
Archangel (Destiny): He will lead the Ultramarines because he is an ArchAngel and blue and the Ultramarines are uhhh- Also because Destiny is the Wal-Mart of cooperative shooters just like the Ultramarines are the Wal-Mart of Space Marines. And since Scooby likes wanking to Destiny the most, the Ultracanines will get the most bestest boys.

Dark Angels:
Jon Talbain: Very noble. Very heroic. Very Werewolf.

Blood Angels:
Great Grey Wolf Sif: The whole Dark Souls theme of having to kill of your best friend and all... and the fact that Sif is the best boy of the Dog-Emperor of Mankind.

Salamanders:
Dogmeat (Fallout): Primarch of the Salamanders. The perepetual Primarch is now replaced by the perpetual Canid.

Space Wolves:
Leman Russ (WH40K): Seems fine as is.

Imperial Fists:
Sahasa Kubrow (Warframe): Much like the Sahasa Kubrow, the Imperial Fists like digging in and siege warfare and being companions and laying eggs to spawn.

World Eaters:
Gabe (Fallout): Such a good loving boy whose been fed a loving diet of Psycho and radical gene therapy and surgery by his Dog Dad.

Raven Guard:
Diamond Dog (Metal Gear Solid): An elite special forces canine, complete with eyepatch and combat (power)knife.

Luna Wolves
Snowy (TinTin): Perhaps the greatest of the Canid Primarchs. Snowy loves his Dog Emperor so much and would accompany him anywhere and everywhere. The constant clash of the "good" and "bad" sides of his conscience will never lead to the downfall and betrayal of the Dog Emperor.

Iron Warriors
K-9 (Fallout): Cybernetic. Intelligence. Will be your loyal sarcastic companion and serve the Imperium of Mans Best Friend even if the Sietcher in question has an intelligence of four or less which is impressive.

Night Lords
Barkspawn (Dragon Age): Fearless. Loyal. Honorable. Incorruptible by malcontents and lawlessness.

Iron Hands
Dog (Half Life): Extremely loyal. Extremely affronted by traitors. Falls into ambushes easy. Also has literal Iron Hands. You only get this level of in depth analysis here on The Sietch.

Death Guard
Shukaku (Naruto): Giant oversized trash panda canine. Anime is a plague.

Thousand Sons
Mira (Silent Hill): Manipulative and Cunning. This shiba inu is a literal mastermind who can orchestrate plans within plans that drive all of the Dog-Emperors foes as mad as a cat! Also gives sympathetic licks and likes music and computers.

White Scars
Lockjaw (Marvel Comics): Good boy won't get lost in the Webway will you?

Word Bearers
Saint Angelo di Roma (Final Fantasy VIII): Loyal and easily trained to do new tricks. Which is perfect for the Word Bearers since they're basically Ultramarines. Also very religious defender of the oppressed.

Alpha Legion
Cerberus (World of Warcraft): Now with three heads for triple the scheming! Which head is which? THERE IS NO WAY OF KNOWING... except I guess discerning left from right.

(Dog) Emperors Children
I left this one open only because the idea of Scooby Doo fathering anything directly terrifies me.

Two Lost Legions
(Open Applications to all Canines Primarch Prospects!)

How much more immeasurably improved is the Warhammer 40K Setting, Lore and the position of the Imperium of Man (and Best Friends) now?
 
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All of the Primarchs had Scooby Doo's DNA personally dry humped into their vitae wombs or gestation capsules or whatever was used to make the first Primarchs. So all of the Primarchs were still bred to be perfect generals, warriors and statesdoggos; larger, stronger, faster, and smarter than any normal Canine could ever hope to be. They possessed a potent charisma and martial prowess that made them like the mythical gods of old, untouchable by disease, old age or supposedly the petty failings of lesser mutts.

Ultramarines:
Archangel (Destiny): He will lead the Ultramarines because he is an ArchAngel and blue and the Ultramarines are uhhh- Also because Destiny is the Wal-Mart of cooperative shooters just like the Ultramarines are the Wal-Mart of Space Marines. And since Scooby likes wanking to Destiny the most, the Ultracanines will get the most bestest boys.

Dark Angels:
Jon Talbain: Very noble. Very heroic. Very Werewolf.

Blood Angels:
Great Grey Wolf Sif: The whole Dark Souls theme of having to kill of your best friend and all... and the fact that Sif is the best boy of the Dog-Emperor of Mankind.

Salamanders:
Dogmeat (Fallout): Primarch of the Salamanders. The perepetual Primarch is now replaced by the perpetual Canid.

Space Wolves:
Leman Russ (WH40K): Seems fine as is.

Imperial Fists:
Sahasa Kubrow (Warframe): Much like the Sahasa Kubrow, the Imperial Fists like digging in and siege warfare and being companions and laying eggs to spawn.

World Eaters:
Gabe (Fallout): Such a good loving boy whose been fed a loving diet of Psycho and radical gene therapy and surgery by his Dog Dad.

Raven Guard:
Diamond Dog (Metal Gear Solid): An elite special forces canine, complete with eyepatch and combat (power)knife.

Luna Wolves
Snowy (TinTin): Perhaps the greatest of the Canid Primarchs. Snowy loves his Dog Emperor so much and would accompany him anywhere and everywhere. The constant clash of the "good" and "bad" sides of his conscience will never lead to the downfall and betrayal of the Dog Emperor.

Iron Warriors
K-9 (Fallout): Cybernetic. Intelligence. Will be your loyal sarcastic companion and serve the Imperium of Mans Best Friend even if the Sietcher in question has an intelligence of four or less which is impressive.

Night Lords
Barkspawn (Dragon Age): Fearless. Loyal. Honorable. Incorruptible by malcontents and lawlessness.

Iron Hands
Dog (Half Life): Extremely loyal. Extremely affronted by traitors. Falls into ambushes easy. Also has literal Iron Hands. You only get this level of in depth analysis here on The Sietch.

Death Guard
Shukaku (Naruto): Giant oversized trash panda canine. Anime is a plague.

Thousand Sons
Mira (Silent Hill): Manipulative and Cunning. This shiba inu is a literal mastermind who can orchestrate plans within plans that drive all of the Dog-Emperors foes as mad as a cat! Also gives sympathetic licks and likes music and computers.

White Scars
Lockjaw (Marvel Comics): Good boy won't get lost in the Webway will you?

Word Bearers
Saint Angelo di Roma (Final Fantasy VIII): Loyal and easily trained to do new tricks. Which is perfect for the Word Bearers since they're basically Ultramarines. Also very religious defender of the oppressed.

Alpha Legion
Cerberus (World of Warcraft): Now with three heads for triple the scheming! Which head is which? THERE IS NO WAY OF KNOWING... except I guess discerning left from right.

(Dog) Emperors Children
I left this one open only because the idea of Scooby Doo fathering anything directly terrifies me.

Two Lost Legions
(Open Applications to all Canines Primarch Prospects!)

How much more immeasurably improved is the Warhammer 40K Setting, Lore and the position of the Imperium of Man (and Best Friends) now?
Good joke - but sad thing is,they still would be better then WH40 canon.But,considered that only Gendo Ikari could be worst father then Emprah,it is not suprise for me.
 
Good joke - but sad thing is,they still would be better then WH40 canon.But,considered that only Gendo Ikari could be worst father then Emprah,it is not suprise for me.

Any theories on the two Lost Primarchs? What famous Canines could fulfill those roles?

Were those Canine Primarchs forgotten because they succumbed to Feline corruption or perhaps Cats themselves!?!?!
 
Any theories on the two Lost Primarchs? What famous Canines could fulfill those roles?

Were those Canine Primarchs forgotten because they succumbed to Feline corruption or perhaps Cats themselves!?!?!
Worst.Both get catgirls harems.You knew,what Scooby do must do after that.
 

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