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Humor/Comedy ScatterPatter Incorrect Quote Generator

Bear Ribs

Comrade
Comrade
Joined
Dec 25, 2019
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6,126
This thing's a treasure. Anybody else had fun generating bad quotes with it? There's fewer prompts available with more people but I find the longer ones funnier myself.


Bob: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Alice: Alright, what's 30x17?
Bob: 47
Alice: That's not even close.
Bob: But it was fast.

Bob: What are your goals?
Alice: To pet all the dogs.
Bob: No, fitness goals.
Alice: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Alice: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Bob: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Charlie: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Bob, learn to listen.
Dana: What if it bites itself and I die?
Ebert: That’s voodoo.
Fran: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Bob: That’s correlation, not causation.
Dana: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Ebert: That’s kinky.
Alice: Oh my God.

*The squad is over at Alice's house*
Bob: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Alice: ... N-No...
Alice, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Bob, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Charlie: I see a-
Alice, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Bob: Oh, well I-
Alice: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Alice, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Dana: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Ebert: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Alice: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Alice: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Alice, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Alice: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Fran, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Alice:
Bob: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Alice:
Alice, ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
 

Battlegrinder

Someday we will win, no matter what it takes.
Moderator
Staff Member
Founder
Obozny
Comrade
Joined
Aug 11, 2019
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4,989
I haven't heard of this before, but I recognize a few of the jokes, looks like he's mining Tumblr for quotes.
 

Bear Ribs

Comrade
Comrade
Joined
Dec 25, 2019
Reaction score
6,126
Yeah, it pretty much just lets you attach your own names to existing quotes, though I still somehow find it quite fun. They have good taste in which jokes to steal.
 
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