ROB has commisioned you with a grand and noble task, destroy the EU.

[Agent23]

For whatever reason,the dictatorial political regime controlling a part of a small continent on an obscure planet has angered a ROB.
This ROB has decided that it will be easiest to simply pluck a random inhabitant of that planet, namely yourself, and has granted you near ROB powers.
You can summon whatever technology and forces you wish from all over the multiverse, as long as:
1) You do not rewrite memories or use telepathy to alter people's views and desires and outlook.
2) Your meddling stays hidden, so no, you can not land a legion's worth of Chaos Space marines in Brussels or shoot the Eclipse's superlaser at Strasbourg, or spray Flood spores all over the continent so as to use the good old approach of "there is a man, there is a problem, there is no man there is no problem..."

At the end of the day all nations within the EU must be out of the EU, and they must suffer minimal economic damage.

In the event that you are to succeed you shall receive eternal life, in the event of your body's destruction you will awaken in your bed in a brand new clone body.
You shall be further augmented with the best of cyberware from the universes of Altered Carbon, Cyberpunk 2077 and Deus Ex.
You shall furthermore be granted domain over one of the countries that made up the wretched conglomeration, receive a personal styped of several billion each year, and have the ability to summon wormholes that lead to the universes listed above, as well as to Star Trek, Babylon 5, Star Wars and your 12 favorite harem/hentai animes at any point in their respective timelines.
The wormholes shall be the size of a Stargate wormhole, and you can bring through anything that fits.
If you complete the task within one year ROB will also throw in your personal High Guard Glorious Heritage class Cruiser, crewed by avatars with the appearance of your choice, and an A.I. fanatically loyal to you.Upgraded with transporters, an Asgard hyperdrive and a cloaking device, of course.

Discuss!

 

[Agent23]

@ATP @Butch R. Mann @Batrix2070 @TheRejectionist enjoy.

Anyway, here is what I would do.

Summon the computer from the novel The Planet Buyer and use it to manipulate financial markets until anti-EU countries become massively wealthy and the pro-EU countries are experiencing huge difficulties, buy up the stock of all the biggest European corporations and force them to move thier headquarters and manufacturing East or out of the EU entirely.
Use a holodeck to generate the most disgusting and perverted porn imaginable, all starring pro-EU politicians and EU functionaries, later on we might make videos of them conspiring to betray the people of the EU for their own ideological goals.
Use a Trek transporter to mass produce copies of Jaime Retief then bribe Eurosceptic countries to make the clones their representatives in Brussels.

 

[Bassoe]

I'm gonna grab the the pdf of the plans for Professor Meisner's hyperdrive from Jerry Oltion's Getaway Special and anonymously* upload them to the web then watch the corporatocracy crash and burn with the loss of its best tools.

*

 

[Chiron]

Could I spread around the Goblins from Goblin Slayer? The effort of fighting them would bankrupt the EU and cause mass friction. Sure they die easily, but with its disarmed population and the goblins' craftiness and labryrinthine sewers, etc of Europe, eradicating them would be a quite straining task as I intend to dump Hobgoblin and Shaman types, a Paladin type here and another there. The sheer horror they inflict would cause the locals to turn inward and ignore State Laws if they don't flee.

 

[Agent23]

Could I spread around the Goblins from Goblin Slayer? The effort of fighting them would bankrupt the EU and cause mass friction. Sure they die easily, but with its disarmed population and the goblins' craftiness and labryrinthine sewers, etc of Europe, eradicating them would be a quite straining task as I intend to dump Hobgoblin and Shaman types, a Paladin type here and another there. The sheer horror they inflict would cause the locals to turn inward and ignore State Laws if they don't flee.

Um, that would go counter to the hidden meddling and limited economic damage aspects of the operation.

 

[bintananth]

If I have near-ROB powers and can make changes to reality without getting my lasy arse off my sofa I don't need all the other goodies too.

Step one: make all EU specific infrastructure vanish.

Step two: any and all records and documents (written/digital/video/audio/&c) of, about, or mentioning the EU also vanish.

Step three: All the Euros revert to the assorted national currencies it replaced.

Step four: Anyone who doesn't quickly come to accept that the EU was just some sort of collective mass-hallucination gets exposed to an assortment of interesting substances meant to incapacitate them (mentally and/or physically).

Step five: take a nap, then rinse and repeat as necessary.

EDIT: I am not altering anyone's memories. I am merely removing any and all evidence that the EU ever existed.

 

[Agent23]

If I have near-ROB powers and can make changes to reality without getting my lasy arse off my sofa I don't need all the other goodies too.

Step one: make all EU specific infrastructure vanish.

Step two: any and all records and documents (written/digital/video/audio/&c) of, about, or mentioning the EU also vanish.

Step three: All the Euros revert to the assorted national currencies it replaced.

Step four: Anyone who doesn't quickly come to accept that the EU was just some sort of collective mass-hallucination gets exposed to an assortment of interesting substances meant to incapacitate them (mentally and/or physically).

Step five: take a nap, then rinse and repeat as necessary.

EDIT: I am not altering anyone's memories. I am merely removing any and all evidence that the EU ever existed.

Ahem.

You can summon whatever technology and forces you wish from all over the multiverse, as long as:

 

[bintananth]

Ahem.

Ok, so I'd have to get a bit more creative in how I pull this off.

Transporters and replicators for removing, replacing, and or introducing all the physical objects. As for all the digital stuff, I'm sure at least one setting in the multiverse has the computer tech to pull that off. Evidence of my meddling? I was never there so there is none.

 

[Agent23]

For my next trick I will bring Culture minds and have them argue with and dogpile people on social media about the evils of the EU.
Given their massive advantage in cognitive capacity and processing power I am pretty sure that they will be able to convince everyone, from the decision makers to the broader populace that the EU is a bad idea and that they can all do better going at it alone, with the minds being tasked to invent alternate economic and political policies for each country and arguing them into existence.

Yes, I basically subcontracted the work to godlike A.I. sue me.

 

[Batrix2070]

Okay, a tough one has hit.
As it is, I would gather a team of Poles from all over the Multiverse from timelines in which Poland is a superpower and after aligning them I would throw them into the EU!Poland giving them huge money to start the process of elite replacement by creating fictional but untraceable identities.
They exchange the elites for themselves and start to change Poland into an anti-EU country and start to use the Polish position to play brazenly screwing up all the negative tendencies to a high level(especially they turn the Polish position as a German assembly plant into an asset beating the Germans). To make it easier for them I give them the technology from Halo which at the beginning is the work of only Polish scientists and engineers and for the rest seems to be magic.
In this way, they turn Poland into one of the main players in the EU, and then snatch power from the hands of the Franco-German coalition. And when the burden of power has shifted entirely to Poland, the Polish president, using Poland's inhuman and absurd economic and military superiority over the rest of Europe, announces the dissolution of the European Union and the creation in its place of the Polish Republic/Commowealth of a Million Nations and annexes the territory of the rest of the EU countries.
And all I do is watch as the machine put into motion by me runs itself. I don't have to continue to lift a finger when the new elites get into power and technology gives Poland an advantage.

There is no rule against inserting something else instead of the EU.😛

 

[TheRejectionist]

If Italy hadn't specialized and actually competent intelligence servise because of the years of lead I would simply go V style.

 

[TheRejectionist]

But to be simple, SOMEHOW wreck the French & German economic axis.

 

[ATP]

UE is falling anyway becouse of lack of money for retired,so why bother?
But,lot of people would suffer in that.
So...There is polish writer Dukaj,who have many interesting ideas.One of them was dudes which could rewrite reality - for example,army who come to conqer you become your army which always was loyal to you.
It is not brainwashing,so i could use it.
And turn UE into one big Polish Commonwealth,which always was polish commonwealth.

 

[Agent23]

UE is falling anyway becouse of lack of money for retired,so why bother?
But,lot of people would suffer in that.
So...There is polish writer Dukaj,who have many interesting ideas.One of them was dudes which could rewrite reality - for example,army who come to conqer you become your army which always was loyal to you.
It is not brainwashing,so i could use it.
And turn UE into one big Polish Commonwealth,which always was polish commonwealth.

You guys really need to watch Andromeda.