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Well then, don't chicken out and continue a game longer than that... If you don't need to take something from someone else, you don't need to be at war, it's not something you need to do, unless you have it planned out well you don't necessarily profit from having one. Yes, colonies take a while...

Huh? Stellaris? Hard? That's somehow completely different from my experience. But i don't complain about Dwarf Fortress either, so it may be a skewed perspective. Depending on map size, AI empire settings and so on, may be ok, seems a bit long though. What are you doing in that time? You should...