four looks the most functional out of the bunch.
Images The Mall Ninja Thread
- Thread starter Bear Ribs
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four looks the most functional out of the bunch.
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
Having used Ulus to cook before and found them to be great, I could see 2 making a decent vegetable chopper if it can actually hold an edge. I'd take it for that purpose because I'm not reaching for any of them in combat, of course.
One appears to be what happens when your sword has erectile dysfunction and I don't want to be the butt of those jokes. Also the position of the photograph implies that the guy is lying on the floor, presumably after having accidentally cut his own throat swinging it around.
Three... I cannot see how three is going to be more of a threat to enemies than the moron using it with how many blades in all directions it has.
I'll agree four is probably the most useful as an actual weapon, presuming the ax blade has a tang and isn't just superglued into that pewter dragon's mouth or something.
One appears to be what happens when your sword has erectile dysfunction and I don't want to be the butt of those jokes. Also the position of the photograph implies that the guy is lying on the floor, presumably after having accidentally cut his own throat swinging it around.
Three... I cannot see how three is going to be more of a threat to enemies than the moron using it with how many blades in all directions it has.
I'll agree four is probably the most useful as an actual weapon, presuming the ax blade has a tang and isn't just superglued into that pewter dragon's mouth or something.
PsihoKekec
Swashbuckling Accountant
Talk about taking refuge in audacity
stephen the barbarian
Well-known member
the art of camouflage. they think you're going for one of the flashy swords, never noticing the ar.Talk about taking refuge in audacity
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
I'm reminded of Nabari No Ou, a contemporary fantasy anime with modern-day ninja clans continuing to battle each other in the shadows.the art of camouflage. they think you're going for one of the flashy swords, never noticing the ar.
One character uses a compact pistol as his weapon of choice, and he's genuinely mystified that all the other ninjas are going around with swords and shuriken instead of buying a gun like he did.
And a shot of a typical Mall Ninja's den...
That has to be a parody or something. I refuse to believe a real person would go "hm, I need to store my fidget spinners, which for some reason I still have in the year of our lord 2022. I know, I'll hange them on the hooks I use to hold my nunchucks, right next to my rainbow energy sword, KA-Bar knife, batarang, and handcuffs."
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
Always possible, but if so somebody spent several thousand dollars collecting Mall Ninja gear to set up that picture, so you've got to respect the dedication.
And this might be jumping the shark, but here's one of the most legendary bits of Mall Ninja gear ever, the dreaded SharKatar.
And this might be jumping the shark, but here's one of the most legendary bits of Mall Ninja gear ever, the dreaded SharKatar.
I'll answer his question: "What would you call it?"
I'd call it, "The Story of How I Cut Myself Three Times and Stabbed Myself Six Times By Falling Down Once."
I'd call it, "The Story of How I Cut Myself Three Times and Stabbed Myself Six Times By Falling Down Once."
people often times collect weird stuff. you know it isnt practical but its cool so you buy it.
Fidget spinners are safer then fidgeting with anything else on that wall. SAFETY FIRST!
PsihoKekec
Swashbuckling Accountant
''Dulness of the early midlife crisis''
I'd go with "Chastity Bracer".
PsihoKekec
Swashbuckling Accountant
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
Been a while since we've had more Mall Ninja stuff. I think this one technically counts. A nightstand designed so you can easily convert it into a bat and shield for home defense!
www.awesomeinventions.com
I mean, I'll grant this one is lacking in chrome, unnecessary spikes, and engraved dragons but the base concept is so ridiculous as to qualify. Plus it has the standard Mall Ninja probability of inflicting self-harm on the user, take a hit on that shield and it's going to drive the retainer ring for the bat right into your arm.
This Bat And Shield Nightstand Is Perfect For When You're In Need Of Quick Self-Defense
It’s always wise to keep your guard up even while you’re sleeping. This Bat and Shield Nightstand is a bedside table that also doubles as a practical self-defense weapon. You never know when danger could strike. You could be attacked on the street, in an isolated place or even in your own home...
www.awesomeinventions.com
I mean, I'll grant this one is lacking in chrome, unnecessary spikes, and engraved dragons but the base concept is so ridiculous as to qualify. Plus it has the standard Mall Ninja probability of inflicting self-harm on the user, take a hit on that shield and it's going to drive the retainer ring for the bat right into your arm.
PsihoKekec
Swashbuckling Accountant
A mall ninja got taken down
A mall ninja got taken down
that weapon is far more likely to harm its owner then any one else.
Was his last name 'Winchester'?A mall ninja got taken down