(Democrat opposition that called for racist policies suddenly dies on the toilet; people look at Presidential Candidate Skynet questioningly) "Wow. I had no idea Chinese-made smart-toilets would malfunction like that! Remember, fellow citizens: Using anything not made in China is beneficial to your health!"
"Uh, sir? The President just got electrocuted when plugging in his night light."
"Eh, just place a mannequin in the Oval Office: No-one will know the difference for a few weeks, at least. Next?"