US President James A. Garfield and Garfield the Cat switch minds with the help of Alien Space Bats

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WolfBear

Well-known member
What if US President James A. Garfield and Garfield the Cat switch minds with the help of Alien Space Bats? So, Garfield the Cat's mind goes into President Garfield's body right after his inauguration while President Garfield's mind goes into Garfield the Cat's body whenever you think is the best. So, we now have a US President with the mind of a fat, lazy, and cynical tabby cat who loves lasagna--which I'm presuming you're not going to be able to easily find in the 1881 US--and who also has an aspiring killer waiting for him in a couple of months while you also have a fat orange cat whose IQ massively increased and who could easily become a fine scholar and politician but also whose worldview is stuck more than a century in the past, at least initially.

Anyway, what happens afterwards?
 
WolfBear said:
What if US President James A. Garfield and Garfield the Cat switch minds with the help of Alien Space Bats? So, Garfield the Cat's mind goes into President Garfield's body right after his inauguration while President Garfield's mind goes into Garfield the Cat's body whenever you think is the best. So, we now have a US President with the mind of a fat, lazy, and cynical tabby cat who loves lasagna--which I'm presuming you're not going to be able to easily find in the 1881 US--and who also has an aspiring killer waiting for him in a couple of months while you also have a fat orange cat whose IQ massively increased and who could easily become a fine scholar and politician but also whose worldview is stuck more than a century in the past, at least initially.

Anyway, what happens afterwards?
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A massive amount of US government resources is redirected towards the production and development of lasagna, for starters.
I can see Garfield being slightly corrupt so as to guarantee himself a nice, cozy life after his term is up.
I doubt that there will be much hopes for him getting a second term, since he will be way too lazy and uninterested to do anything.
Basically most of the day to day presidential work is delegated to whoever.
Since Garfield should have some knowledge of past affairs and since he is very eager to protect his own skin I am pretty sure that he will beef up his own security, although he might be too lazy to remember that his namesake was killed.
It will be funny if whoever offed the original Garfield doesn't do it in this timeline because out of lazyness or greed Garfield just gives him the job he wanted outright or sells it to the would-be assassin.
 
Agent23 said:
A massive amount of US government resources is redirected towards the production and development of lasagna, for starters.
I can see Garfield being slightly corrupt so as to guarantee himself a nice, cozy life after his term is up.
I doubt that there will be much hopes for him getting a second term, since he will be way too lazy and uninterested to do anything.
Basically most of the day to day presidential work is delegated to whoever.
Since Garfield should have some knowledge of past affairs and since he is very eager to protect his own skin I am pretty sure that he will beef up his own security, although he might be too lazy to remember that his namesake was killed.
It will be funny if whoever offed the original Garfield doesn't do it in this timeline because out of lazyness or greed Garfield just gives him the job he wanted outright or sells it to the would-be assassin.
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Do you think that *President Garfield (the cat in the president's body) would ally with the Stalwarts or with the Half-Breeds?
 
WolfBear said:
Do you think that *President Garfield (the cat in the president's body) would ally with the Stalwarts or with the Half-Breeds?
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He'd sleep it out, they will fight, he will wake up, and somehow he will look like the person holding the middle ground and the Elder Statesman.
But if he does have to pick a side it will either be the one that bribes him the most or the first one that tries to enlist his help and bores him enough for him to say "Ok, fine, whatever!" :ROFLMAO:
 
Agent23 said:
He'd sleep it out, they will fight, he will wake up, and somehow he will look like the person holding the middle ground and the Elder Statesman.
But if he does have to pick a side it will either be the one that bribes him the most or the first one that tries to enlist his help and bores him enough for him to say "Ok, fine, whatever!" :ROFLMAO:
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So, he's basically going to be a compromise man and a people-pleaser, not caring what other politicians are going to do just so long as he'll actually get his lasagna? :D
 
WolfBear said:
So, he's basically going to be a compromise man and a people-pleaser, not caring what other politicians are going to do just so long as he'll actually get his lasagna? :D
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Yeah, the government will slow down to a crawl and be subject to his ever-changing, selfish whims.

In short, a new golden age for Murika.
 
Agent23 said:
Well, despite his lazyness and gluttony, Garfield wasn't all that fat.
IIRC there were a few bigger cats poping up in the tv show.
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Eh, Garfield being morbidly obese has been a running gag on the comic for at least forty years now. The art style's shifted enough to make him not look it as much but the comic still definitely emphasizes his fatness. His stomach's grown so fat his legs can' reach the ground multiple times.

iu


And the scale is often afraid for Garfield to step on it and makes sarcastic comments about how horrifyingly fat he is.

garfield.jpg
 
Bear Ribs said:
Eh, Garfield being morbidly obese has been a running gag on the comic for at least forty years now. The art style's shifted enough to make him not look it as much but the comic still definitely emphasizes his fatness. His stomach's grown so fat his legs can' reach the ground multiple times.

iu


And the scale is often afraid for Garfield to step on it and makes sarcastic comments about how horrifyingly fat he is.

garfield.jpg
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I mean, most of the time he is pretty good at packing it in.
 
Agent23 said:
And he will probably lie atop the desk.
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I can only imagine Stalwarts arguing that this makes Garfield incompetent for the job and that his VP Chester Arthur should thus take over.

Bear Ribs said:
Taft is no longer considered the fattest US president.
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FWIW, AFAIK, weight is partly heritable. So, even if Garfield constantly and consistently pigs out on food, there's no guarantee that he'll ever actually become as fat as Taft was.

Sailor.X said:
A whole lot of Lasagna eating going on in the Oval Office.
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He'll probably need to import the best Italian chefs since wasn't lasagna largely unknown in the US in 1881?
 
WolfBear said:
He'll probably need to import the best Italian chefs since wasn't lasagna largely unknown in the US in 1881?
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Um, it is just layers of tomato sauce, meatloaf, oil and cheese stuffed between layers of something like very broad plate-spaghetti.
That shouldn't be too hard to cook.
Also, was it even invented in that form back in the 19th century.

Oh, and we forgot the political angle, like Republicans becoming far more popular with Italian migrants if the President is so obsessed with Italian food.

I mean, there was very little love lost between the slummier democrat-controlled parts of port cities where most European migrants were deposited and the Republicans, which were IIRC primarily urban professionals and people from the northern hinterland.

Between Garfield pissing off the progressive wing with his hands-off, self-centered approach to governance and his "obvious pandering" to Italians, might something change in the Republican party?
 
Agent23 said:
Between Garfield pissing off the progressive wing with his hands-off, self-centered approach to governance and his "obvious pandering" to Italians, might something change in the Republican party?
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You mean something similar to the current GOP's ostensibly pro-working class transformation?
 
Agent23 said:
Or a Republican-affiliated Tamany Hall or Italian political machine in the USA...
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Now that would be interesting! Would Garfield win reelection in 1884 (assuming that he's not assassinated by Guiteau in this TL) or would someone such as Blaine succeed in blocking his path towards renomination?
 
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