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PS, I know that a lot of people would dislike the 1k limit, but I wanted this to be more original.

1000 years in the past, minimum. So you can get Beloslaw the Brave, and maybe his father or his son(s). Me, I can talk to a hell of a lot of people. For starters, I will be showing Basil the Bulgsrslayer and a few other 10th century Roman emperors and potentates what happened to...

So, your friendly neighbourhood ASB has decided that you need a weekend side gig, and of course you have little say in the matter. The ASB in question wants you to take important guests on tours of your country/city/local library/miscellaneous "attraction". The ASB will even let you choose...