Welcome to the ROB's shop of small items.

Agent23

Ни шагу назад!
One day the usual ROB grabs you and pulls you into a windowless shop with too many odd angles that don't quite fit with this whole 4d reality business.

After you manage to focus your attention on the counter and get your head to stop spinning the rob explains that this is his shop of inter-dimensional nick-knacks.

Congrtulations, you are the first customer, and you may request as many as 3 palm-sized items, absolutely free of charge.

The catch is that they must not be able to self replicate or change their size.

Happy Shopping.
 

Val the Moofia Boss

Well-known member
Only thing I can think of would be a hypospray from Star Trek. Makes me immune to almost any illness and can be presumably be used on many other people before it runs out of juice.
 

The Whispering Monk

Well-known member
Osaul
Well, the tri-corder that can scan anything is a good one. Should also hold a vast library to compare whatever you scan to.

Hypospray is a pretty darn good idea @Val the Moofia Boss Able to cure illness and disease and even prolong your life!!!

Lastly, I'm thinking the skill imbuer. A device I can place on the head to grant knowledge and skills. Won't harm you and you'll still need to practice a bit, especially as you'll need to develop true motor memory for some skills. Languages, technical, etc...
 

Bassoe

Well-known member
I think I'll take a copy of the Encyclopaedia Everythingiana from Orion's Arm, the Slow Zone-compatible ipad equivalent with a complete database on technological uplifting the shipwrecked humans brought to the Tines planet in Vernor Vinge's A Fire Upon The Deep and the C-Cube from Artemis Fowl. That ought to handle it.
 

Zyobot

Just a time-traveling robot stranded on Earth.
A very creative what-if, I must say!

I would've picked a fully outfitted Infinity Gauntlet, but seeing as it's not pocket-sized, I don't suppose we could just count all the Infinity Stones as one item and call it a deal? :p If not, then I guess I'll have to pick my top three stones and contemplate which ones I want, though thankfully, ROB here doesn't seem like the "hurried" type.
 

Bear Ribs

Well-known member
Hmm, this is a nice one.

Aladdin's Ring. Most people have only heard remixes of the original story but in 1001 Nights, Aladdin had two genies. The Djinn of the Ring was somewhat less powerful than the Djinn of the lamp but the difference as insignificant for any task less than taking over the world (specifically it can be overruled by other Djinn, that's really its only weakness), which happened to be the evil African's goal. The ring also granted unlimited wishes so a pretty good deal.

Palm-sized bottle of Qi pills. ROB probably has a few varieties so I'll go with whichever both turns me into a cultivator and grants the most BS power, which are both pretty common in Cultivator fic so I'll just browse the selection. This will grant enormous personal power and a relatively easy path to immortality, and only grows even more BS with time.

Brooch of Number Numbing. Okay yeah, I have a genie for utility and I'm a cultivator with hax even by the standards of other cultivators, I don't need more power and this thing is hilarious. It's a DnD item that you wear as a brooch, and while you wear it anybody you interact with forgets how numbers work. Like you can tell them five is less than three and as long as you wear the brooch, they won't be able to refute it and will just accept that's how numbers work. In-game it's mostly used to cheat at haggling but consider the implications in the modern day, of f'rex making a YouTube video where you claim to have more likes than all other accounts combined and everybody who sees the video agrees, or futzing with the WEF by waltzing in and rewiring their understanding of basic math. There are countless options for immense pranks with it to a ridiculous degree, and as a Cultivator it could be extremely useful if I happen to meet an elder to explain to them that my five years of cultivation are far longer than their quarter-million years, and have made me far stronger than they could possibly be in such a short time.
 

Bassoe

Well-known member
The Ruby Sunstone from Dinotopia? Yeah, it's a corruptible, potentially sentient artifact of ancient evil which already destroyed one precursor civilization, but considering just how it corrupts people*, I doubt anyone would notice a difference in my personality and motivations except that suddenly, I'd actually have the prowess to succeed at them.

* Extreme hunger for power, technophilia, xenophobia and paranoia that everyone else is also a power-hungry technophilic xenophobic paranoid. Plus Tinker abilities and the stone itself can be used as an unlimited energy source, albeit only for one device at a time.
Dinotopia: The World Beneath said:
Crabb-Triumphant.jpg


"Listen, captain. I'll make it sweet," said Crabb. "I've got a strutter full of loot; I've got the red rock here; I've got all of your notes; and I know from the maps how to get off this island. Here's my bargain. You and I ship out together, and find a buyer for all this fancy science. We split the profits fifty-fifty, and then we build a fleet of attack strutters. The world would be ours, and we could come back and rid this island of scalies."
 

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