Thus Buzzes the Babylon Bee

[stephen the barbarian]

‘Guns Should Not Be In The Hands Of The Mentally Unstable,’ Says Senile Man With Nukes

 

[Husky_Khan]

Pregnant Ken Doll!



*Not available for sale in Florida, Texas or Saudi Arabia.

 

[The Whispering Monk]

I wouldn't be surprised.

 

[PsihoKekec]

Just the matter of time, probably this year already. It used to be years before satire became reality, now it is matter of months.

 

[ATP]

Just the matter of time, probably this year already. It used to be years before satire became reality, now it is matter of months.

Well,in polish commie times we have joke that we should not joke about what stupid thing could our commie do,becouse they would certainly made it true.
Now,it seems,it old polish joke is our reality.

 

[Agent23]

Well,in polish commie times we have joke that we should not joke about what stupid thing could our commie do,becouse they would certainly made it true.
Now,it seems,it old polish joke is our reality.

I think in the west it is called "...hold my beer" and "xxx was not written as a how-to manual"

 

[Ixian]

This British journalist infiltrated a far-right group for a documentary and then got jumped by Antifa while handing out flyers ... Yes, there's video

Alright, I'm gonna be honest here, I really want to get my eyes on this documentary. It's called The Enemy Within: The Far Right: Dispatches, and it follows undercover Channel 4 journalist, Elliot, who has infiltrated the far-right political group Patriotic Alternative—a group with branches all...

notthebee.com

For a minute I wondered what would happen if this was shared at SV or SB, then I remembered they don't believe Antifa even exists and not even photo evidence can convince them otherwise.

 

[Bigking321]

Nah.

They believe it doesn't exist but it would be totally great if it did and how dare you say those great people that are fighting so hard against fascism did anything bad but they totally don't exist.

 

[bintananth]

I think in the west it is called "...hold my beer"

You forgot "... and watch this."

Americans sometimes let children use high explosives without any adult supervision whatsoever. This is called "Tuesday".

 

[Agent23]

You forgot "... and watch this."

Americans sometimes let children use high explosives without any adult supervision whatsoever. This is called "Tuesday".

As a teen I had the pleasure to witness artillery exercises and the explosive demolition of an old thermal plant.

Let us just say that since then all fireworks have been a massive annoyance.

 

[bintananth]

As a teen I had the pleasure to witness artillery exercises and the explosive demolition of an old thermal plant.

Let us just say that since then all fireworks have been a massive annoyance.

You should see the 4th of July at an American park. The clouds of gunpowder smoke get really silly and it's a miracle if the ambulances on standby aren't needed because that little kid running around over there might be playing with high explosives while the adults present just sorta shrug and go "whatever".

 

[Scottty]

You should see the 4th of July at an American park. The clouds of gunpowder smoke get really silly and it's a miracle if the ambulances on standby aren't needed because that little kid running around over there might be playing with high explosives while the adults present just sorta shrug and go "whatever".

Better to be ruled by Libertarians who are willing to allow people to be as stupid as they want, and let Darwin do his work, than a nanny-state ruled by busybody control-freaks who deny people agency or choices on the pretense of it being about keeping them safe.

 

[Cherico]

Better to be ruled by Libertarians who are willing to allow people to be as stupid as they want, and let Darwin do his work, than a nanny-state ruled by busybody control-freaks who deny people agency or choices on the pretense of it being about keeping them safe.

the nanny state would kill far far more people.

 

[ATP]

the nanny state would kill far far more people.

Already did.And,if somebody do not stop them,they would kill much more.Considering that they are ecologist,maybe even 90% of population.

 

[Scottty]

Already did.And,if somebody do not stop them,they would kill much more.Considering that they are ecologist,maybe even 90% of population.

And if they didn't have enviro-crazy, they would find some other reason.

 

[PsihoKekec]

Marlboro Adds Puberty Blockers To Cigarettes To Make Them Legal For Kids

RICHMOND, VA—Cigarette maker Marlboro has announced that they have added puberty blockers to cigarettes to make them legal for kids.

"Now that our smooth Marlboro cigarettes can block puberty, 13 and 14-year-old kids should be able to use them legally, without parental consent," said a spokesperson for the company.

Cited as "lung-affirming care," the cigarette manufacturer's decision to supplement their products with puberty blockers has caused progressives to praise Marlboro as a true advocate for children's health.

"Well, if these things have puberty blockers in them, they must be good for kids," said Pediatrician Dr. Ima G. Reumer, who specializes in non-invasive, gender-affirming mastectomies and genital mutilations for tikes. "I'll have my staff add a couple of packs of Marlboros to my patients' recovery packages."

Critics have pointed out the cigarette manufacturer's sordid history of using deceptive marketing tactics to make young, susceptible populations think cigarettes were cool. But these critics were quickly and violently silenced by trans activists for daring to question a child's desire to please woke parents by changing genders.

At publishing time, Anheuser-Busch announced plans to dip their toe in the lucrative vulnerable-children market by adding testosterone to their beer, thus making it legal for kids.

 

[stephen the barbarian]

Marlboro Adds Puberty Blockers To Cigarettes To Make Them Legal For Kids

it took me a moment to remember which thread i was in. you know as well as i do that someone would do this if they thought they could get away with it.

 

[bintananth]

it took me a moment to remember which thread i was in. you know as well as i do that someone would do this if they thought they could get away with it.

I had to do a double-take too ...

 

[Bear Ribs]

 

[Husky_Khan]

Real story behind why Elon Musk is no longer buying Twitter revealed.

Elon Musk Backs Out Of Twitter Deal After Realizing He Can Read The Babylon Bee By Going Directly To Their Website

AUSTIN, TX — The tech world is reeling from the news that Elon has officially withdrawn his offer to buy Twitter after he realized he can still read the Babylon Bee by going directly to their website.

babylonbee.com