Sarah Palin in Fallout New Vegas

[LTR]

This is a repost of my pictorial 'Lets Play' of role playing a Sarah Palin character in the amazing computer role playing game Fallout: New Vegas, a delightful post-apocalyptic setting. The original thread was started in June of 2013 so some references... maybe dated or hyperlinks long broken... Hopefully you Enjoy.

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When people play role playing games, they often role play as what 'they' would do, or some non-specific entity.

When I play Fallout New Vegas however, I play as an actual character. Or at least this time I am...

Meet my new character, Courier Extraodinaire Sarah Palin.

Str: 4
Per: 8
End: 5
Cha: 8
Int: 2
Agl: 5
Luck: 8

Whaddaya mean now that ya missed a spot? That's free health care for ya...

What a ridiculous question!

Only one answer really...

Uh oh... the Low Intelligence might be starting to show already...

Engaging in the ol' chase me through a door and into a frag mine routine. Kinda smart for her, but then again, Sarah Palin is a hunter.

Sarah Palin has a solution to prison overcrowding. (and her Black Widow perk is already paying dividends)

You were a Powder Ganger... now you're just powder... yeah...

Buck up or stay in the truck!

Uh huh

Deputy Beagle earns the special helmet so he won't hurt himself.

So.... that's it for now. I'm hoping to engage in a pictorial based saga of my journey, reacting to the world as Sarah Palin would. Or how the public perception of her would anyways.

As far as the game is concerned, I chose only one perk, Good Natured, and three tag skills, Energy Weapons (I've been through two playthroughs with Small Guns and its boring now), Speech (obviously) and Medicine. (It was the only Housewife based trait of the bunch) So far, she's helped Goodsprings defeat the Powder Gangers terrorizing the town, and made friends with everyone. Sarah Palin however, isn't much of a scavenger and so she doesn't go rifling through everyones house, grabbing things that can be grabbed without karma penalties. That's just unrealistic. So unless it's from villains or their possessions or otherwise unclaimed, she's not taking it. It'd be wrong. Then she paid her respects at the Yangtze Memorial before heading up to Sloane... more to get the marker down then anything, before following the railroad back down to the NCR Correctional Facility and then down to Primm, in hot pursuit of that fancily dressed fellow and his Khan-esque cohorts. While in Primm, as you can see, she saved the Deputy and killed all of the Powder Gangers there.

Lest we forget. Support our troops!

Now she's currently heading South, to get a pardon for Meyers so he can become the Sheriff for Primm, because she knows the current one is too cowardly and a fancy robot as a Sheriff? C'mon now...

Meyers should be the Sheriff... why?

!!!Small Town Values!!!

!!!Tough On Crime!!!

!!!End Federal Bureaucracy!!!

Well there you have it so far... Hour One of Fallout New Vegas as Sarah Palin.

If anyone has any feedback, suggestions, recommendations that this is a waste of time, please feel free to share. I'm not actually sure how amusing this all actually is.

 

[LTR]

Chapter Two: Nipton and Mr. Fox

Sarah Palin makes her way south, battling raiders and radscorpions, before finally coming upon the City of Nipton in flames and her first encounter with the villainous Legion.

Sarah Palin enters Nipton and is immediately wary.

First encounter between Courier Palin and the Legion

I didn't realize Nipton had an ACORN office.

Profli... wha? I'm sorry I don't understand.

Wait WHORES? That is bad!!!

I hope I don't regret making this gut response later...

Sarah Palin immediately issues a retraction that Nipton "Got what was coming to them."

Oh it's on buddy!

Laser to the face!

The Legion has displayed incredible skill when fighting defenseless civilians, women and children in Nipton, but now they face Sarah Palin.

Perhaps engaging six Legionaries and two dogs on a whim was a poor idea.

Five gallon hat helps keep Sarah Palin's half pint brain nice and cool in the Mojave heat.

Justice is served buddy!

Once the terrorist leader was dispatched, the rank and file were reduced to ash! (ZOMG that rhymes sorta)

Sarah Palin doesn't break into random houses or loots the bodies of innocents. It's wrong and immoral. (and yes... I actually follow this rule... *sighs*)

Look at all of that stuff!!! No... dammit... Sarah Palin doesn't loot from the innocent... argh...

Another sobering lesson in political corruption...

INT 2 Moment: Sarah Palin is undoubtedly wondering who this Mr. Fox fellow is.

First Van Jones and Lois Lerner, now Joseph B. Steyn. Even in the future, Secular Progressive political corruption knows no bounds, whether under Obama or Kimball.

 

[LTR]

CHAPTER THREE: The Legions Most Wanted

Behold, a hard drinking, gun toting, plain speaking, entrepeneurial cowgirl! No it's not Sarah Palin, it's Sharon of Rose Cassidy... or Cass for short.

Statues with blood? That can mean only one thing... Clearly God is on the NCR's side.

Tell me more of this phenomenon!!!

Ohhhhh figurative... I get it now. Duh...

Hmmmm nope... still don't see any blood on the statues. I have no idea what that Cass lady is talking about. Half of the people I've met in California so far seem to be crazy. Time to leave this bastion of liberalism and go to Nevada, where hopefully Conservative American values can still be restored!

Nevada has been looking a little rough ever since Sharron Angle's lost the election.

The Legion has abducted prisoners from Nipton to sell into slavery! And from what I can remember, slavery is bad! They must be stopped. But I'm outnumbered four to one, and at least two of those Legionaries are veterans. I will have to use all of my cunning and guile and skill to defeat them.

Unlike the Legion, Sarah Palin is an early riser. (It's three AM and the Legion has abducted your loved ones. Who do you call? Hitlery or Sarah Palin?)

LASER TO THE FACE PART DEUX!

Well check this out Decanus! You're fired!

It seems the one frag mine simply slowed them down. This is bad! I'm sure if I keep running away, God will deliver me salvation.

Oh thank goodness, I've run into a heavily armed caravan of merchants. Now for once, they get to bail me out!

This just proves that businesses are people too!

Ya can't outrun a laser! It's beam travels at the speed of sound! Bet you wish you didn't wake up to a frag mine at your feet now limpy!

Now wait a gosh darned minute now... how come I'm losing karma when I take stuff from the bad guys? What kind of mixed message is that sending? I won't stand for this moral relationship... moral realism... moral... moral relativity here now. Also it says I'm vilified by these Legion terrorists now. Well good riddance to them! I hope they hate me, damn terrorists! What're they going to do? Send Seal Team Six after me? I don't think so.


Literally five minutes of game time later...

Oh boy, look at the fancy clothes on those folks. I better steer clear of them guys! I'll run towards that Ranger Fort up ahead!

Oh no... the Ranger station is empty, and I finally found out who those fancy pants folks are! Even worse, there's four of them and they're tougher then the last four Legion folks I ran into to. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this pickle... but I got an idea.

I call this trick the Gravina Maneuver.You run into certain area like this ranger station here and as they're pursuing you, ya run up to the walkway along the top of the walls and then wait for them to chase you inside. Then as soon as they are about to reach you...

Ya jump over the edge of the wall and leave them inside of the fort! How's that for a Race to Nowhere! See ya suckers later!

Next up... Novac...

 

[LTR]

Chapter Four: A Boone for Sarah Palin

Oh sweet Jesus... it looks like that Dinosaur is eating that poor Mexican kid!

I don't get it... Why is it called Novac again?

Sarah Palin supports our veterans, both past and present.

With Ranger Andy's Takedown, I'll be able to backpedal out of danger and drop foes quicker then Fox News backpedaled and dropped me as an employee.

These Novac ranchers are good, family focused, hard working Americans. So if they need a helping hand in finding out who is killing their cattle, I'm more then willing to help them out anyway I can. (except via farm subsidies)

Holy Guacamole! That's the biggest Smurf I've ever seen! Never a fan of Smurfs, they propagate a homosexual lifestyle. Better whip out the AR-15 for this one!

Who should own an AR-15? Anyone who wants one... .bitch...

What's the appropriate amount of force to use to defend your property? LETHAL FORCE and we work UP from there.

I am pretty sneaky but I had good teachers. Despite Boone's initial hostility, he soon realizes I am a big supporter of our troops and opens up to me about a disconcerting problem about his wifes passing. Well don't worry Boone, you picked the right lady for the job. This Mama Grizzly will sniff out whose at fault here and deliver up a target for extra-judicial punishment.

Okay sure... I figured it was the Mexican fellow with the criminal past that killed Boone's wife first but apparently I'm wrong. But that's not racism or racial profiling. This is just good police work.

The next most likely suspect is probably that crazy poor person I saw earlier. Stastically poor people commit crimes because they're too lazy to work.

Molerat man coming from the Underneath? But I just got done interviewing the Mexican fella and I know he didn't do it. I guess I'll pursue this motel lobby angle.

At first, I had reservations about illegally accessing the Hotel Safe illegally, but then I realized you sometimes have to break the law, to save it. But am I really breaking the law? I'm a self authorized Agent of the Law and can verbally and secretly give myself my own search warrant.

Sarah Palin, despite her Level Two Intelligence, reads the Bill of Sale and realizes who is responsible for Boone's missing wife.

Before there were drone strikes, there were people like Boone.

You say it like hunting terrorists isn't enough motivation in itself.

Sarah Palin supports our veterans. But will they support her?

Her logic, though simpleminded, is irresistable.

Don't worry, Sarah Palin is used to getting that look from people after she says... anything.

Uh oh... Sarah Palin has her first companion now.

Next up... Sarah Palin confronts the Spectre of Communism... literally... (Not literally)

 

[LTR]

Chapter Five: The Ghost of Commies Ass

I have misjudged this man completely and have finally met someone of intelligence on this journey. He fills me in on two things I believe strongly in, the existing threat of Communism... and Ghosts!

Oh no... somebodies gotta put a stop to them before the Moon goes Red, just like Mars!

Finally I've met a scientist who actually makes sense, speaks on the facts and isn't motivated by Big Science or political ideology.

Gee..

Willickers...

Boone! You just gunned down three Commie Ghosts in three shots! At this rate I won't even have to do anyth-

Oh thanks Boone. Leave me the Glowing One.

Two questions. First... what is a ghoul? Second, where are the Communist ghosts. I was promised Communist ghosts...

C'mon... you KNOW this is what she would say first.

He doesn't seem amused by the statement. And what is this Great Journey? Sounds more like a Long March to me you damn dirty, Green party commie sonofabitch. Give me one good reason not to turn you into ash!

Sweet Jesus! They're Christians looking for salvation. How can I be of assistance?

Can't you read? It says STOP!

...sniffle... I thought Smurfs were supposed to be nice...

If you're going where I think you're going buddy, you better stop right there before you say something you regret...

Did you just call religion mumbo-jumbo? DID YOU!?!?!

YOU COMMUNIST WHORE!

Boone versus the Communist Whore... whose taking bets?

Oh crap, it's like one of those stupid action movies where the Hero is able to hit everything with one shot but can't hit the broad side of the barn when fighting a named character...

...Nevermind...

Praise Jesus!

Next up... The Rocket of Babel.

 

[LTR]

Chapter Six: Rocket of Babel

Unlike some folks, I only get recognized for genuine achievements.

Don't feel bad Chris! You'll get used to being a Saint.

After all, I did.

Hey if those Global Warming kool-aid drinkers at NASA can launch rockets, why can't I?

And they say its the Democrats who base their policy actions on feelings.

I grew up in an America that strives to achieve noble goals "not because they are easy... but because they are hard." But fast forward almost (two hundred) fifty years and our national leaders seem to have lost all of Kennedy's confidence and brio. Instead of announce ambitious new goals for the space program, we have the head of NASA... hearing this new rationale for our space program... "Holding hands and singing Kumbaya with Tribal countries. What does that have to do with our once proud and pioneering space program? -American By the Heart (2281 edition)

Like so many Americans, my family and I watched the moon landing on an old black-and-white TV set. As with Theodore Roosevelt, JFK's ambition to put a man on the moon perfectly captured a nation that feared neither hard work nor failure. -American By the Heart (2281 edition)

Now I'm proud to say I'm joining those great men of history.

Oh $#!t

Moving right along...

Oh dear... looks like the NCR hasn't learned anything from Obama's past mistakes either. I better nip this in the bud!

Actually now that you mention it...

That's not surprising. Anyone who believes in Solar Power is likely an idiot. Let me talk to this guy and set him straight.

You're fired!

You betcha I am!

Next up... The Flowers of Apocalypse.

 

[LTR]

Chapter Seven: Unscripted

In what maybe Sarah Palin's most insightful interview ever given, she has a personal one on one conversation with noted scientist and scholar, Ignacio Rivas of the Helios 1 Research Team. Their candid discussion touches not only on the future of alternative energy, but also military policy, foreign relations, the evolving role of NGO's and other subjects.

Transcript has been edited due to space concerns and posted without added commentary.

Uor wellcum...

 

[LTR]

CHAPTER EIGHT: Solar Hazard

I shouldn't trust the voice, but his logic is impeccable. Since I am a law biding citizen, I have nothing to hide and should reveal myself to the local authorities.

Oh my gosh! I've been betrayed! I never thought law enforcement would use their power and authority in a deceptive manner.

In other news... check out my glasses!

Science..??? Does not compute...

Aha! Success. I can fix it. (after reading a repair book to temporarily increase her skills)

Flowers of Pocklips scientistic says it humane to share evenly and he make sense with words so I do that. (Plus it was a campaign promise)

Brownouts? Really? I knew renewable energy sources like solar were inherently unreliable. Drill baby drill!

What is happening? What is happening? The shinies!

The glasses! They do nothing!


WALPERRRRRRR!

Wait? There was juice somewhere? Where is the juice? Was that robot I needed science to fix a juice maker? I don't understand!

Lemme tell you a secret Ignacio. Sometimes, when no one is looking, I act like a moderate. But if you mess with me... I'll shoot a laser into your face.

Well that was fun. I must say I learned a lot about renewable energy like Solar Power. My visit at Helios has pretty much reinforced my opinion that morons are in charge of renewable energy policy, that solar energy is inherently unreliable, and it requires massive government subsidies. On the other hand, someday, we might be able to use Solar Energy as a weapon of mass destruction or even better, as a solar powered drilling device. So more research is needed.

Anyways, it's time Boone and I move on. But first... I must go back to Primm and meet someone.

Science. What a waste of time. I don't need to examine anything before repairing it.

Uh oh. Sarah Palin now has her own drone.

You know, I'm wondering... whatever happened to that terrorist cell that wanted to assassinate me when I headed up to Novac?

Oh... nevermind...

Shooting Legionaries in the face with energy weapons is becoming a habit.

The furious battle raged on for five days and two nights but in the end...

Sarah Palin was victorious and we all celebrated by eating the large amounts of jello left on the battlefield afterwards. Well not all of us...

Boulder City looks... different then I expected. Yet the irony of the name is not lost on me.

Once again I support our veterans in the War of... I mean on... Terror.

You mean like a city sized IED? What a brilliant strategy!

Hmmm I might have to retract that statement...

I'd like to end my campaign visit to Boulder City by standing here with young Private Kowalsky and stating to everyone, Support our troops and pray for their victory and safe return!

This is the closest I'll ever come to being an actual Neoconservative.

Next up...? I honestly have no idea. Does Sarah Palin make her way to New Vegas? Or does she take that inviting offer to go up to Zion Valley to support small businesses and have a meet and greet with her future Utah constituency?

 

[LTR]

Chapter Nine: Operation Restored Hope

Have you heard this radio advertisement about the Sierra Madre Casino, it sounds like an amazing place to take a break from fixing the Mojave and fighting terrorists? Boone and I decided to head there for some R&R.

Why would you put your Hotel in the middle of a minefield? Oh well... let's keep going.

Not going to lie... I find the entrance to the Resort to be a little underwhelming and below my expectations.

A pity the Concierge wasn't a bit more... headstrong? That's not the way to get... ahead... in life. He'll never be the head of a major corporation.

Okay sorry Boone, let's keep moving.

First off, hardcore mode just sounds perverse and disgusting. Secondly, if I'm too low level for this area, then I guess this journey was for naught. Time to go around and see the local sights I suppose.

Since she passed? Yes, I suppose a bullet to the head is considered a natural cause of death here in the Mojave.

Sarah Palin is polling high with the NCR military.

Hopefully this Operation Restore Hope will turn out better then the last Operation Restore Hope that took place in the desert. Let me show swarmy Bill Clinton the proper way to intervene in a conflict.

My sentiments exactly.

This reminds me, we'll need some Badass Music to introduce us. ED-E, strike up a tune!

But before we go killing Legionaries, looks like we need to help around camp first.

Do I have medical experience? Does looking after five kids and one husband count?

It doesn't.

Dr. Mom reporting for duty.

Oh if only Max Cleland could see me now.

<Insert your own insensitive Max Cleland joke here>

I see him! I see HIM! I see the thief!

Clearly the military is about as effective guarding against drug abuse as they are in policing sexual assault cases.

Well time to head back to the medical tent and report that I caught the thief to Doc- GAH WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?

You're welcome.

Also... you might want to invest in some better MP's considering thieves and giant wheeled robots are wandering around here freely at night. Just saying.

 

[LTR]

Chapter Ten: The Mother of All Battles
Not really...

Say no more. Governor Sarah Palin is reporting for duty!

Our contemporary Light Brigade forms up. It consists of Sarah Palin, the main character, Boone, a veteran 1st Recon Sharpshooter, ED-E, a lovable drone of death, some guy given the generic name of Sergeant Cooper and two un-named NCR troopers. We are now taking bets in who will die in the following away mission.

Into the valley of death rode (ran) the six...

Note one of the un-named NCR troopers is leading the way.

That's not a good way to get a... leg up... on the competition. I guess he won't be... legging it out of here. I guess he won't be winning any foot races anytime soon.

Okay Boone, I'll stop sorry.

There's one more! REST IN PIECES!

Jesus is in the center. C'mon you didn't notice the layout?

Wait... you mean some people who liberate Nelson just kill these guys for shits and giggles instead of just untying them?

You were known as Dead Sea.

Now you're just Dead... see?

It appears he's shaking my hand... not trying to be witty here... just something nice I noticed.

As far as Operations Restore Hopes go, the current tally is Bill Clinton: Zero.... Sarah Palin: One.

This is the closest I'll ever get to being considered libertarian.

Vegas baby! It's so close I can almost drone strike it.

For those of you wondering, Sarah Palin has been pursuing the main quest this entire time... it just wasn't terribly interesting.

Soldier! How are you capable of talking and drinking at the same time?

Also his statement amuses me greatly. Peace at any cost!

This is a war of President Kimballs choosing. And he has taken our sons and daughters to fight this war and has neglected to even provide basic body armor for our kids serving in the Mojave. Why do our soldiers have to spend their devalued NCR military pay purchasing equipment they should already have? Why President Kimball? WHY?

Like the great Japanese philosopher Sun Tzu once said: The best defense is a strong offense and a swift boot to the ass.

Stars and garters Boone. If I wasn't married...

Hey yourself stranger.

Next up... With frikkin laser beams on their heads.

 

[LTR]

Chapter 11: Dressing Down

I just met this lovely lady named Veronica. She's smart, witty, beautiful and a survivor just like me.

And despite her individualistic streak, she still knows her place as a provider for the family.

Oh no... not the Brotherhood of Steel. The stories I've heard about them.

Why thank you. I've had that effect on people ever since I entered politics.

Glad I could be of service.

Well other then the lasers beams on their heads... not really.

I'm always in need of a running mate.

What's more dangerous then one Grizzly? Two grizzlies.

I know exactly how you feel. Like your Brotherhood, I too am a Social Conservative.

I can almost see my reflection in this strong, young womans fiery yet feminine spirit and passion.

Oh no... I just came from California. It's even worse there.

This proves Veronica is just like me. A real woman raised up properly on traditional family values.

What?!?

Oh hehehehe... I get it. Funny joke. I mean... whew...for a second I thought you were going all lesbian on me... Golly wouldn't that'd be something?

Next up... Vegas baby!

 

[LTR]

Chapter 12: New Vegas Stripped

Sarah Palin is about to complete the final leg of her journey to New Vegas, dutifully following the ancient Interstate that has long fallen into disrepair. With her new companion Veronica and her loyal strike drone ED-E accompanying her, the erstwhile Mama Grizzly will soon come face to face with the pinnacle of Mojave civilization.

But how will she react?

Some of the graffiti at least is amusing on the road to New Vegas. Plus sunny skies, a nice cool breeze coming off of Lake Mead, what's not to like?

Really? REALLY? Legion Assassins this far into NCR and Vegas territory! Well it's a good thing I'm on a trade route because...

There's yet another travelling merchant on the road not too far away... Now let us join battle on evenly numbered terms!

Veronica reveals she packs a mean right hook.

President Kimball and Mr. House have done an awful job of fighting crime. While traveling on the main road, within sight of Vegas' city walls, we stumble across a sacked caravan. We bury the ashes of the innocent, and strip the dead bandits of their combat armor. Now Veronica is looking stylish, especially with that lovely hat of hers.

Ringo is a good friend whom I saved in Goodsprings. He gave me a tip about Utah... I'm becoming rather intrigued about traveling up there and visiting New Canaan, see how my Mormon friends (who aren't true Christians) are doing.

We have entered Vegas through the North Gate through a district known as 'Freeside.' Needless to say I'm not impressed. Trash on the streets. Unattended children hunting down rats for food. Rampant drug use. Socialized utilities failing to deliver product to the locals. And of course... the endemic crime. Veronica can barely walk down the sidewalk without some thug trying to force himself upon her at knife point.

Then she punches them. And then they explode into flames. I cannot explain it beyond saying... Deus Vult.

Here's a hard working old timer that was helpfully giving me advice at the North Gate.

Now we have male whores? When did this happen? Outside of the Middle East I mean.

Oh a gated community! Finally something positive in this city.

Oh for Petes sake... you again? I'll meet your Boss when I'm good and ready.

Strike One against the Strip.

Lesbian debauchery in the streets with soldiers of the government?

Strike Two...

Rude customer service. That's strike three.

How am I, as a God fearing, gun wielding American citizen, supposed to kill your Boss without my AR-15?

Strike Four.

Yes. Yes... NO NEVER! GET SOME SOAP AND CLEAN YOUR MOUTH. What is with this land and all of its whoremongering?

WHAT? WHAT IN DARNATION DOES THAT EVEN MEAN MISTER? THAT'S IT! I'M TALKING TO THIS MR. HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND GIVING HIM A PEACE OF MY MIND!

Next up... Palin on the House.

 

[LTR]

Chapter 13: The House Always Wins

No. No I do not want to be entertained by you.

Again... did not need to hear that. Robo-whores... words fail me.

I have never seen a greater hive of scum and villainy.

There might be barbarism in the Wasteland, but it's no worse then what I see in Freeside or Gomorrah or Mayor Bloomberg's New York City.

I will not be one of your whores!

Oh you're talking about recovering that useless platinum chip. In that case... let's talk.

I got bills to pay.

I'm sorry. I'm not helping you further your debauchery Mr. House.

I'd like to see you try! This is the only casino that didn't try to strip me of my Constitutionally protected 2nd Amendment rights.

Sigh... fine... I'll take another look at the Strip. Maybe it was a bad first impression.

So far. So good. Why hello there Miss.

ARGH! I can't believe that woman just said that to me! The Strip clearly encourages rampant sexual deviancy!

And what's the deal with her hat?

I'm warning you buddy! And I will not abandon my principles for a few pieces of silver!

I'm sorry?

On... the House? Perhaps I should give Mr. House another chance.

It might seem like corruption but it's not. As an important politician, it's standard to have ones accommodations compensated for... I mean, it's not really for my benefit. But for the country that I am well taken care of and comfortable as I work on my constituents behalf. *coughs*

Next Up... From my cold dead hands!

 

[LTR]

Chapter 14: The Tops

Oh he's a Christian business owner. How lovely!

Prepare to di-...Damn it... why do people keep using the inherent politicians weakness to vacation themed bribes against me!

He seems trustworthy. After all he's comping me!

What an amazing suite. Except for the floors, those stains are horrible!

Hmmmm I wonder where Benny is? He said he'd be meeting me here after he had a drink.

One dinner and an eight hour nap later...

Oh no! The elevator mysteriously doesn't work! How is Benny going to meet me now?

Fell for it? Fell for what?

...

Oh my gosh! It's a trap! He never meant to meet me here!

Okay Veronica. Let us prepare for battle! I wonder what Benny is sending to eliminate us. A group of seven foot tall mobsters armed with Tommy guns? A professional mercenary team in combat armor and toting laser rifles? Or maybe a reprogrammed Sentry Bot?

Or... four men armed with .22 silenced pistols and straight razors wearing off the rack business suits. I can't believe I equipped my Plasma Defender for this.

Veronica KO kills one of the mobsters with a patented right hook.

Pity he wasn't more... headstrong.

Now the floor has even more stains to clean up.

Oh thank goodness. The floors are filthy!

Wait a minute. This isn't housekeeping! Benny is that you!

Alerio Bin Laden has picked the wrong time to bother me!

Sarah Palin doesn't negotiate with terrorists.

Fedor Emelianenko must be jealous. Look at that limb removing ground and pound!

Like I give a hoot if the terrorists shun me.

Next up... Palinoconservatism

 

[Shadepen97]

This is amazing! And the well done picture based New Vegas Role-play I've seen! I actually like that most of links were both informative and functional. The puns made me chuckle and the commentary was consistent, and perhaps best of all made me think that this is what a Fallout-Universe Sarah Palin would do in the Courier's place. Perhaps Palin picked up the courier job in the first place to one up Bill Clinton due to a drinking contest?

Edit: Keep up the good work LTR!

 

[LTR]

Chapter 15: Project for the New Californian Century

GAH! How are you still alive? I killed you... with a SLEDGEHAMMER! How come no one old me you could come back like this!

Yes Man quickly wins Sarah Palin over now that they've both failed to kill each other and thus are even in the revenge department.

I, Sarah Palin, can possess the power to shape the future of the Mojave? If only William Kristol and Robert Kagan could see me now.

Finally I won't be hampered by liberals who are weak on terrorism.

Fire artillery on anyone who comes close to their borders? This tribe sounds amazing. I must meet them immediately. Maybe they can help secure our borders!

Cultured? San Franciscans made it this far East?! Oh wait... clean and super polite... nevermind.

I stopped listening when you mentioned the word 'downside.' A heavily armed private militia of dogmatic, ex-military, social conservatives storing weapons and supplies in bunkers and hiding from the government cannot have a downside.

Sarah Palin apparently thinks leaving the robot who is programmed to be nice to anyone who talks to him in front of the Tops Casino in the middle of the Vegas Strip to not be a problem. Oh well, moving right along.

Sarah Palin is finally invited to the halls of political power.

Yes we must not give into the terrorists Ambassador.

Am I ever!

Started off as a local Mayor? Me too! This Ambassador Crocker seems like a good man. But while he's content with being Ambassador, I still have greater ambition.

The obligatory whore reference of this chapter.

<Insert indignant Sarah Palin comment about prostitution and homosexuality here>

Burglarizing hotel rooms is becoming a bad, but beneficial, habit of mine.

That's much better now isn't it?

Wait... what plan are we stopping again and why?

Next up... Ignorant Failure

 

[Tyzuris]

One thing I hate about Fallout is tying how many skill points you can gain per level to Intelligence level.

You have to sacrifice a lot of progress if you want a low intel playthrough.

 

[LTR]

Chapter 16: Gun Rights, a National Concern

I get this strange feeling the Omerta's don't want to talk. This is beginning to look like a trap, like that Katie Couric interview.

Legitimate gun store owners being forced to sell firearms to organized criminals? Clearly Eric Holder is behind this operation!

Sounds like the standard Obama Administration response to the issue.

Sarah Palin may die as she has lived.

Why does everyone keep saying that?

That girly .22 pistol I got off Benny's assassins finally came in handy!

Veronica does what she does best. She's going to make some man a happy husband and father someday!

Oh... I don't know. I probably shouldn't. Gambling is sinful behavior.

Then again, maybe I can donate all of my winnings to my personal charity. The Sarah Palin House.

Too bad her House is currently deep in Legion territory.

Oh gee, I must be naturally talented at this!

Oooooo free steaks!

You do sound like my kind of man!

Yes. No more of this Omerta Fast & Furious business! You are free to operate your gun business free of bureaucratic and government meddling.

Oh you gave me a Pimp Boy 3000! How... uh... sweet... of you.

This Mama Grizzly is leading the hunt for terrorists and won't accept any cuts anywhere!

I love it when a wall pulls away to reveal a hidden chamber full of weapons like a Bond film.

We are going to get along just fine!

Next up... The War On Drugs & Poverty

 

[LTR]

Chapter 17: Deathwish

Sarah Palin has been recruited to help cure the addictions of two unfortunately educated white males. Needless to say, she agreed to do it. Will Freeside survive?

Oh don't worry quest tracker... she'll take care of the drug dealer.

The 'intervention' begins as soon as the drug dealer is found.

Damn it Dixon. You shouldn't of said that.

I'm only going to ask you nice once...

Is that sarcasm buddy? I ain't no Saint...

Actually you are... Remember Chapter Six?

I'm a crusader!

Using the Liberator I got as a trophy off a Legion officer, I liberate the drug addicts from their evil dealer.

She also liberates Dixon's face from his skull.

Veronica is too busy cheerleading in the background to assist.

Sarah Palin takes on the John Wayne method of drug rehabiliation.

OMG it actually worked?

Typically when one does an intervention with someones addictive behavior, it involves a complex ambush style meeting where the addict is confronted by a group of his loved ones, friends and family who confront him over how his behavior has harmed both his life and that of others.

A Sarah Palin intervention involves her walking up to drug addicts and giving them a John Wayne style dressing down.

The other difference is that when Sarah Palin intervenes, it has a one hundred percent success rate.

Tom Cruise must be pissed right now.

The hard working people of North Vegas are an independent and strong willed community of entrepreneurs who have been suffering under the oppression of a bunch of welfare yearning squatters.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's homeless people who are too lazy to work!

Ya got that right! It's nice to finally find a community organizer who isn't afraid to have the cahones to tackle illegal immigration.

Obligatory whore reference.

Next up: Enhanced Speech Check Techniques