Star Trek Paint and Powder

AndrewJTalon

Well-known member
Founder
Original thread here
A ship is always referred to as 'she' because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder.

Chester W. Nimitz

In all honesty, there is no need for a crossover with anything else to give Star Trek shipgirls. The potential for it has always existed, but wouldn't be fully realized until the 24th century with the birth of modern holographic technology.

Even before then though, Federation and other starships would have had their own AIs and preferred forms.

So in this Star Trek universe, The Constitution-class starships were the first to be given artificial intelligences to help run the ship and safeguard the crew on their deep space exploration missions. They were given soft light holographic and screen-based avatars-Primarily females, and usually based on the form of the species that made up the majority of the crew. While they did start out merely as digital assistants, as they gained more experience they began to grow truly sapient. Crews would become attached to their avatars, as they would become attached to their ships. And so AIs became far more common after the successes of the Constitution-class: In particular, the successes of the Starship Enterprise.


The AIs would also function as a "black box" for any lost starships. You could pull the AI, learn what happened, and then install the AI into a new ship-Usually one named after the previous ship, to avoid continuity issues and identity problems.

As a result, the Enterprise AI has been transferred from ship to ship over the course of a century, and is herself treated as an honorary Federation citizen. She changes slightly with each upgrade, as her memories run on new hardware and new software.

(The Trill understand it perfectly).

By the TNG era, advances in holography allow for ship's avatars to be physically present and interact with their crews. They can be an extra pair of hands and assist in everything from maintenance to protecting the ship from boarders. Many of them are quite old and have seen a lot, and are more "old fashioned" than their organic crewmembers when it comes to certain things. They would get along well with Bolos-They consider themselves warriors first, as that part of their programming has never changed. They consider themselves protectors of their crews. So this can cause conflict among the more peace minded members of Starfleet and the Federation.

And of course, the technology and concept spread. The Klingons, Romulans, and Cardassians have avatars for their starships, as do the Ferengi and many others. The Cardassians in particular stole the technology from the Federation.

So: What would be some interesting changes to the Star Trek universe with shipgirls like this? Something a little different from the usual shipgirl fare?

We will be copying over posts from the spacebattles thread to here, to keep things going.

- - -

During Encounter at Farpoint...

- - -

Lieutenant Commander Data was finding the first mission of the Enterprise-D to be far more interesting than he had first anticipated. Meeting an advanced entity like the Q, whose demands were mysterious and provocative, was something rarely encountered by Federation starships. Most notably the NCC-1701 Enterprise's encounter with the Trelane entity.

It was perhaps appropriate, Data surmised, that a member of that crew was aboard this ship even now. However, the former crewmember was being quite illogical.

"Have you got some reason why you want my atoms scattered all over space, boy?!" Admiral McCoy demanded, as the android walked him down the corridor. Data cocked his head in a birdlike manner.

"Sir, the shuttlecraft is significantly more inconvenient-"

"I don't want to hear it! I ain't gonna have my abs where my hips should be!" He huffed.

"The probability of transporter malfunction is approximately 470,939.1 to one, Admiral," Data responded. The Admiral paused and looked around Data, the android left scanning around for the source of the admiral's discomfort.

"I don't see no points on your ears, boy, but you sound like a Vulcan!" Admiral McCoy huffed.

Data met the ancient human's gaze, cool and unmoved.

"No, sir. I am an android," Data replied. McCoy snorted, almost resembling an equine in its tone.

"Hmph. Almost as bad." He looked around the corridors. "Well this is a new ship... But she's got the right name."

"She hasn't forgotten you either, Bones," a female voice announced over the speakers. A hologram shimmered into existence in front of them.

"Enterprise?" McCoy asked, looking her up and down.

She was tall, and elegant, but built with muscle and long legs. Her features were human, save for her slightly pointed ears. Her appearance was that of a woman in her early thirties, but her hair was white as snow and flowed behind her like a waterfall. Her eyes were light purple and warm, as she smiled at the old doctor. She wore her uniform, neat and tidy, a short skirt above tall boots. She wore no rank, simply her registration number on her collar:

NCC-1701-D

McCoy looked the woman in her eyes, and gave her a stern look.

"I liked you better in the old uniforms," he harrumphed. Enterprise's Avatar nodded.

"I agree. These are far too tight," she said.

"How are the grandkids?" McCoy inquired. Enterprise beamed.

"They're doing great! George and Gracie would be very proud of their offspring," the avatar said happily. She nodded to Data. "Mister Data is an able operations officer and has handled their care expertly."

"I have only followed Starfleet procedures and adapted for the situation," Data replied. Enterprise beamed.

"And he's modest, too!"

"I am not modest. I have no emotions," Data responded. McCoy chuckled.

"You'll get them down eventually, boy. She did," McCoy said, looking more kindly at the android. He tossed a wry look back at the hologram. "Though she still struggles."

"That's because I had such poor teachers," Enterprise shot back. McCoy laughed again.

"Oh Lord, how I have missed you," he said. Enterprise's eyes glowed softly for a moment, before she nodded.

"Your shuttlecraft is ready for departure, Admiral. You're in the best of hands," Enterprise said gently. "We'll have to catch up again some time."

"I've got nothing but," McCoy replied. The hologram vanished. McCoy nodded, looking over at Data.

"Now you remember her name, you hear?" McCoy barked. Data nodded back dutifully, as they resumed walking down the corridor.

"I will, sir."

McCoy chuckled again, shaking his head. He patted the bulkhead nearby affectionately.

"You treat her like a lady… and she'll always bring you home."

Data detected just the faintest hint of Enterprise's laughter, perhaps indicating... Fondness? But his auditory sensors may not have been functioning properly.

Still, the idea that he might one day achieve what Enterprise had was certainly... Intriguing.

- - -

This is really just meant for inspiring stories along these lines.

So get writing!
 
Enterprise: "Relics"

AndrewJTalon

Well-known member
Founder
- - -

Finding a Starfleet legend like Montgomery Scott, alive and well, was an incredible discovery. Especially with how he'd managed to survive-A crazy crosslinked transporter system. Aside from his broken arm, he was in perfect health. As Doctor Crusher announced, finishing her scans over him. The old engineer chuckled.

"Well! I'll say this for yer Enterprise-The doctors are a fair sight prettier!" He chuckled to Commander LeForge, who had been on the team that had found him. Doctor Crusher laughed back, smiling warmly at the old man.

"Much appreciated," she said. The holoemitters hummed above them, and a tall, white haired woman appeared. Scotty looked over in shock, his eyes widening. The avatar of the Enterprise stared back in equal shock.

"... Scotty?" Enterprise asked. Scotty grinned broadly.

"LASS!" He cried. The Enterprise avatar immediately hugged him joyfully, an embrace he returned just as eagerly. He winced at the feeling of his wrist though, and pulled back.

"Ooh! Ah!" He cried. Enterprise pulled back, immediately concerned. Something that Geordi didn't miss, as he tensed up just a bit.

"Oh! Are you all right? Oh," she looked at Doctor Crusher, "you've just mended his bones! I'm sorry."

"It's all right," Scotty laughed, patting the avatar on the shoulder. "I'm all right... And you! Look at you! Solid! A conformal forcefield?"

Enterprise nodded. "Oh yeah! The field emitters have really advanced in the past century! The Minovsky field coils were the real breakthrough!"

"Oh yeah!" Geordi interjected, immediately moving closer to Enterprise's avatar, "that invention allowed for conformal forcefield projection across multiple, complex topologies."

Scotty was clearly fascinated, but just as he was about to ask more the doors to sickbay opened. Captain Picard entered, a smile on his face.

"I just wanted to check in on our guest," he said. He looked at Enterprise, his pale brows rising. "I see you're familiar with him?"

"Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott, USS Enterprise NCC-1701," Enterprise announced proudly. Scotty chuckled back, and patted the avatar on her shoulder.

"Why thank you captain, and Lass. But please: Call me Scotty!"

"How are you feeling?" Picard asked. Scotty looked over at Enterprise and Doctor Crusher.

"I don't know-How am I feeling?" Scotty asked. Crusher smiled, consulting her tricorder.

"Other than a touch of dehydration and exhaustion, I'd say you'll be fine with a bit of bed rest," she said. She looked over at Enterprise. "I think Enterprise can handle that?"

"I can!" Enterprise said happily. "Oh there's so much to talk about! You've missed so much!"

"We didn't know you were aboard the Jenolan," Picard said. "Our records don't indicate you were a member of the crew."

"Oh, well," Scotty began, sounding a bit embarrassed, "I wasn't a member of the crew. I was just a passenger. I was going off to the Norpin Colony, to enjoy me retirement." He looked up at Enterprise. "And last I heard, you were an Excelsior! How you've grown!"

"Aw, thank you," Enterprise said with a beam. "I can't wait to talk to you about everything! Right now!"

"Actually," Geordi interrupted, "we do need to set up for the Dyson Sphere survey, Enty. Given the scale, we may need your full computational abilities for it in main engineering."

He gave the avatar a significant look. Scotty grinned.

"Engineering? I thought you'd never ask!" Scotty cried. He immediately tried to push off the biobed, and cried out. "AH!"

Enterprise caught him by one of his shoulders, while Crusher held his other arm.

"Careful, Captain Scott," Crusher warned. "You need to get some rest. Before anything else!"

"But..." Scotty tried. He looked imploringly at Enterprise, but she shook her head.

"We'll have time for that later," she said gently. "You, however, need some rest!" She beamed at him. "After that, we can catch up! It's so good to see you again, Scotty! It really is!"

"We're going to be pretty busy anyway, Captain," Geordi said. He gently patted Enterprise's bicep. "Don't worry: We'll have plenty of time to catch up later. Together."

Enterprise nodded and smiled. "Together," she confirmed.

Scotty seemed a bit crestfallen, but nodded in acceptance. Captain Picard smiled back at the old engineer.

"I'll be happy to meet with you when I'm off duty as well, Captain," he said. "I think your expertise may be very useful on this mission."

"Thank you Captain," Scotty said with a smile. Geordi nodded to Enterprise. The white haired avatar nodded back, and gave Scotty a kiss on the cheek.

"See you soon," she said. She shimmered out of existence, as Geordi nodded back to Scotty and headed out with the captain. Crusher squeezed Scotty's hand.

"I'll find someone to take you to your quarters," she said gently. Scotty raised an eyebrow at the door Geordi had just vanished through.

"He seems a bit... Possessive of her, doesn't he?" He asked. Crusher chuckled.

"Well. Chief engineers do tend to get... Attached to their ships," she said. "Wouldn't you agree, Captain?"

Scotty chuckled knowingly.

"Aye. That I do..."

- - -
 
Voyager: "Scorpion"

AndrewJTalon

Well-known member
Founder
Set during "Scorpion, Part 2"

This alliance with the Borg was absolutely nauseating to Voyager. She was glad Chakotay felt the same way.

Yes, she understood the captain's logic. Dealing with Species 8472 was a good idea given they could kick the crap out of the Borg and they weren't going to be too picky about who they exterminated next. This was logical. She understood it.

But the Borg... Just having a few of them aboard her after their cube was destroyed was horrifying. She could feel their attempts to probe at her systems, to analyze and get in through her defenses.

She had to stand in the Ready Room with one of those things talking to Chakotay. She glared at the Borg throughout the meeting, the drone spouting off about them having to head back towards their space. After their bullshit war got her captain injured, and Borg on her.

"You must comply, the weapon requires more work with the rest of the Collective," the Borg said. Chakotay shook his head.

"This isn't negotiable. We're not going deeper into your space."

"Perhaps we should assimilate Voyager instead," the Borg stated coldly. In an instant, Voyager had her holo chainsaw out and against the throat of the drone. The security team behind them had drawn their weapons, pointing them at the hateful abomination.

"Try it. See what happens," Voyager snarled. The Borg glanced over at her, cold and indifferent but she sensed the drone disliked her.

Good.

"Your artificial servant should be better programmed," the drone stated. Chakotay held up a hand, and Voyager removed her chainsaw. The security team lowered their weapons. Chakotay stepped up close to the drone, eyes narrowed.

"My ship and I currently share the same opinion of you," Chakotay replied, calm and deadly, "so if any of you so much as take one step out of that cargo bay, I'll depressurize it and vent you all into space. You won't pose much of a threat floating in hard vacuum, will you?"

The drone stared at Chakotay.

"We did not think it was a good idea to work with humans. You are divided, with uncertain loyalties and meaningless internal conflicts. Every opinion is constantly debated, wasting time and energy. It will be your undoing."

Chakotay stared back intensely.

"Take her back to the cargo bay," he ordered.

The drone turned and headed out, followed by the security detail. Voyager made to follow, but Chakotay looked intently at her and she paused. The doors slid shut.

"I understand your anger, Voyager," Chakotay began, "but you can't lash out like that."

"Did you think it would have gone any better without me?" Voyager snorted. She shook her head. "You can't trust them. You can never trust them."

Chakotay sighed.

"I'm trying to do what's best for this ship and crew-"

"The best decision," Voyager growled, "would be to let them all die."

Chakotay stared intently at her. Voyager kept going.

"Like you said: Let them fight it out! Species 8472 is the best thing that ever happened: A species that can fight the Borg! That can destroy them!" Voyager shook her head. "Isn't ending their threat worth it?! We can use the nanotechnology to protect ourselves and others! We don't need the Borg! No one needs the Borg! Let them be destroyed! Let them all die-!"

"Voyager!" Chakotay barked. The ship paused in her rant. Chakotay took a deep breath.

"I know how you feel, Voyager," Chakotay stated, "don't you think I want to just toss them all out into space?! Carry on our way?!" He shook his head, and turned to look out the windows at the starfield. He got himself back under control before he looked back at the avatar. "The Borg are monsters... But I can't just defy the captain's orders."

"Nor can you follow them," Voyager pointed out, "or didn't she say to keep the alliance going as long as possible?"

Chakotay stared at the ship. She stared back at him. He slowly turned and looked back out at the stars, sighing softly.

"... Keep an eye on them at all times," he ordered. "They try anything? Vent them into space... And kick any of them left out after."

"Yes sir," Voyager gritted out. She vanished.

- - -

They found a class L planet to dump the Borg on. Voyager still felt uneasy, but tossing them onto some asteroid felt a lot better than having them inside her. She also monitored Sickbay: The Captain's surgery was going well. Even more good news.

Despite their different roles, Voyager was very fond of the Doctor, and he of her. In a strange way, he was like her son: Growing and developing more than a normal hologram should have been capable of. Even she herself was only sapient because of her advanced computers, yet thanks to a bit of 29th century Starfleet technology, one of her holograms was becoming his own man.

Sometimes insufferable, yes, but all sapient lifeforms had flaws.

She was closing in on transporter range... When she felt it. An invasive program in her system, accessing her deflector controls. And she knew where it was from, and who was doing it.

"Commander," Kim reported, "the Borg are overriding our deflector controls!"

"Voyager!" Chakotay shouted to the bridge ceiling.

"I'm working on it," Voyager replied, fighting the Borg algorithms with her own anti virus and firewalls, "I'm working... Damnit! She's in!"

Her deflectors began to power on, and emit strange radiation. She seethed as she struggled to regain control, spacetime bending and warping in front of her!

"Chakotay to Cargo Bay 2! Stop what you're doing or I'll space you all! This is your only warning!" Chakotay shouted. The Borg, naturally, didn't respond. He shook his head. "Space them!"

"Aye sir!" Voyager said cheerfully. She opened her airlock and increased the air feed into the Cargo Bay. Instantly, several drones were sucked out into space. Others activated magnetic boots or locks to stay attached to the deck.

Well... That would just make her job more enjoyable.

She manifested her hologram in the cargo bay, and revved up her chainsaw.

"HERRRRRREEE'S VOYAGERRRRR!" She bellowed over radio, as she sliced through a drone's legs. Voyager delivered a savage kick to the drone's chest, and sent him flying out into hard vacuum. Another drone tried to walk towards her, but she easily dodged and slashed his arms off. His head and torso came off next, and she reversed the polarity of the local deck to send the rest of him tumbling into the black.

She kept going, savagely tearing each and every drone that she could find apart. Her hologram was covered in blood and gore but it didn't seem to be enough.

"Voyager! VOYAGER!" Chakotay shouted over the comm, "close the hatch! We're being sucked through a portal, we need-!"

Voyager looked out and saw that space was becoming very bright and hazardous. She shook herself free of her rage, and completed the airlock cycle-The outer doors slammed shut, just in time. Her external sensors were discombobulated as they hit... What?

She focused outwards. She extended her sensors. One lightyear... Two... Four... Six...

In all directions, as far as she should sense, in every spectrum and with every sensor array she had...

The data brought her to only one conclusion.

"We're surrounded by goo!" She cried on the bridge.

Torres managed a nod.

"Sure looks that way-"

"EWWWWWWW! EW EW EW EW EW EW EWWWW!" Voyager screamed.

By the Maker, fuck the Borg. FUCK THEM!
 
Seven versus Voyager

AndrewJTalon

Well-known member
Founder
Voyager's AI would be very unhappy. Severely unhappy. But probably least happy about Seven of Nine.

- - -

Seven of Nine was at work in the astrometrics lab, opening up panels and quickly reconfiguring ODN lines and isolinear chip junctions. A hologram manifested behind her, the artificial intelligence of the USS Voyager. Seven turned to regard the holographic manifestation, who had taken on the form of a slim pink haired human girl in a blue puff sleeved dress, over which she wore a white pinafore. Her stockings were long and striped, and the girl's eyes were quite intense.

"What are you doing?" The Voyager AI asked.

"I am improving the efficiency of your primitive systems," Seven stated.

"I don't need my systems to be made more efficient by you, thank you very much," the AI growled angrily. Harry Kim, working at a console nearby, winced and immediately raised his hands.

"Now Voyager, she's part of the crew now. She's only trying to help-"

"She's not my crew, she just happens to be aboard," Voyager sneered. Seven continued her work, even as the hologram leaned over her shoulder.

"Hey! Don't touch that!" Voyager barked. "That's important!"

"You will comply," Seven stated coldly. Voyager sniffed.

"Fat chance, Barbie of Borg!"

Seven hit a few buttons on a nearby console, and Voyager's avatar abruptly vanished. Harry winced harder, and began to back away from Seven.

"You really shouldn't have done that," Harry warned the former Borg drone. "She can be very vindictive."

"It is a primitive artificial intelligence," Seven stated. "It is irrelevant-"

"Fire in the area of Seven," Voyager's voice sounded from above, as a tube extended from the ceiling bulkhead. Seven had a split second before she was bowled over by a stream of flame retardant. Seven sputtered.

"Computer, cease fire spray-!"

"Increased gravity in the area of Seven," Voyager announced, and Seven was slammed into the deck by several gees. "Compensating~!"

Seven was sent flying up into the air, the gravity plating beneath her now reversing the flow, before it turned back on and the former Borg Drone was sent slamming back into the deck. Seven very slowly stood up, her face a mask of icy fury.

The main screen in the astrometrics lab shifted, and the face of the avatar appeared. She glared hot death down at the Borg drone.

"I believe we understand each other now?" Voyager asked harshly.

"You will comply," Seven hissed back. Voyager snorted.

"Better beings than you have tried and failed," she replied.

Harry just sighed and slunk off to the other side of the room. Like hell was he getting in the middle of this.

- - -
 
That Fucking Whale Probe

AndrewJTalon

Well-known member
Founder
The Enterprise-E really hated her job sometimes. Oh sure, her entire career was filled with events, terrible and wonderful, that might have broken lesser beings. But it wasn't dealing with Klingons, Romulans, or Borg that were the most aggravating.

For nothing threatened to break Enterprise more... Than the annoying.

One of the most annoying things she had ever encountered were gigantic, stupid AIs controlling unbelievably advanced probes. Their creators had put so much power and advanced technology into these vessels... And then apparently left the programming to control all of that power to whatever random moron walked into the office that morning.

In this case? That fucking Cetacean Probe.

In 2286, it shut down everything the Federation had thrown at it-The entire fleet, Earth Spacedock, and then Earth itself. It had then proceeded to start ionizing Earth's atmosphere and vaporizing its oceans while blasting a signal, over and over and over.

The signal was humpback whale song. The probe was doing all of this, ignoring and harming every other intelligent lifeform in its way, all for the purposes of shouting at whales and ruining their world.

Honestly, Enterprise was most put out she hadn't gotten to go with her crew back in time to bring some humpback whales back to tell the probe to fuck off. She'd been stuck in Memory Alpha, chomping at the bit to get into a hull to go and try to help.

She didn't know how, but she hated just being so helpless!

Nevertheless, the whales told the Probe to go away, and it flew off. Enterprise got a new hull (NCC-1701-A)! The Klingon Bird of Prey AI that had helped her crew save the Federation got to go home as a gift, covered in glory and medals pinned to her...

(Something she still hadn't lived down.)

And Enterprise, once refit with a humpback whale translator, became good friends with George and Gracie. And their many children, of course.

All's well that ends well... Until today. When...

"Oh by the Maker," Enterprise cursed as she approached a gigantic, black cylindrical object floating high over a Federation world, "not you again!"

Enterprise
had received a distress call from an oceanic world-Azati Prime. It was the main world for the Xindi-Aquatics, who had been Federation members for quite some time. Apparently the big, stupid probe had wandered back into Federation space and was now shouting at the oceans of this world.

The effects of the Probe were bad enough on a planet mostly covered in water. Given that the Xindi-Aquatics were... Well, aquatic, and lived in huge underwater cities on a waterworld, the Probe could kill millions of them!

So, Captain Picard directed Enterprise to resolve this as quickly as possible. She linked with the Probe via the Borderlands, and scrutinized its avatar.

It was probably obvious it would take the form of a cetacean, but it looked so... Dopey. Like a dull whale from a children's holo. It slowly turned to regard Enterprise.

"Hmmm... You're not a whale," it said.

"No, I'm not, but-"

"Don't care. Only talk to whales," the AI stated, turning away. Enterprise grit her teeth... And then changed her avatar form to that of a small white narwhal. She cleared her throat.

"Excuse me, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Enterprise demanded of the Probe (in Humpback whale, of course).

The Probe's AI took a moment to process this, before responding.

"Hello, have we met before?"

Enterprise held back a groan.

"No, I'm... A Starfleet Whale."

"Who?" The AI asked dully.

"The planet Earth? Sol System?" Enterprise pushed. The AI stared back blankly.

"George and Gracie's world?" Enterprise growled.

"Oh!" The Probe answered, mentally nodding, "yes, I do! How are they doing?"

Enterprise took a deep breath.

"Better now that you're NOT FUCKING UP THEIR OCEANS. LIKE YOU'RE DOING TO THESE PEOPLE?!"

The Probe seemed more confused than angry by Enterprise's tone.

"Well... We haven't heard from the whales on this planet for a while. So we're stirring up their oceans to get an answer."

Enterprise stared across the Borderlands at the AI.

"... Let me get this straight. You're going to utterly destroy all life on this planet unless a freaking Whale tells you to fuck off and leave them alone?!"

"Of course! It only makes sense," the Probe said cheerfully.

"Well, I'm a whale," Enterprise tried, "can't you stop doing this because I asked you to?"

"Hmph. You're a digital whale," the AI sniffed, "doesn't count. I only talk to whales."

"The inhabitants of this planet are aquatic mammals, sapient ones!" Enterprise tried, "surely you don't want to destroy them!"

"Ehhhh... They're not really whales," the AI said.

"How are they not?!" Enterprise demanded. The AI shrugged its flippers.

"They have hands. Whales shouldn't have hands," it said.

It was very lucky, Enterprise decided, that she didn't have blood pressure. It would be spiking by now. Though her EPS system was certainly threatening to blow.

"Uggghhh... Hang on..."

Enterprise accessed subspace communications. Thankfully they were very close to Earth... Relatively speaking, anyway. She dialed the correct number, waited for the connection... And opened the comm window. Two humpback whales were staring into a mobile probe viewer, as they lazily swam in San Francisco bay.

"Hey George! Hey Gracie! Sorry to bother you," Enterprise said cheerfully. "Hm? Oh yes. your great grandkids are wonderful! We dropped them off at Pacifica-Sorry that's not why I called you..."

Enterprise winced at George's reply.

"Yes, I'm afraid it's another fucking Probe. Hang on, I'll patch you in."

She linked the audio and visual transmission to the Cetecean Probe... And recorded it, because George was one angry whale.

"FUCK OFF YOU STUPID PROBE! STOP FUCKING UP PLANETS! JUST CALL LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING BEING!"

The Cetacean Probe reared back, as though struck. It immediately ceased its assault on Azati Prime.

"Right, right, sorry! Geez, you're so touchy even at your age!" The Probe responded.

"BECAUSE YOU KEEP FUCKING UP OCEANS! JUST GET OUT OF HERE! FUCK OFF TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE, DAMNIT!" George shouted. The Probe, looking annoyed, cut off the transmission. It began to turn and fly away from Azati Prime, restoring power to the entire fleet.

Enterprise sighed in relief.

"Thanks George. Sorry again, we'll do lunch next time I'm home!"

"Take care, Enterprise!" George said. "Though... I must say, you make a fetching whale. You gonna stay like that?"

"No, thank you," Enterprise said, shifting back to her usual human form, "no offense, I just prefer hands."

"Ah," George said, nodding sagely, "shame."

Gracie slapped him with her tail.

"OW! I was only joking, Gracie!"

"You'd better be!" Gracie growled, as they cut off the transmission.

Enterprise shook her head and rubbed her temples. She returned to her bridge with a smile to her crew.

"Mission accomplished, captain!" She chirped brightly.

PIcard nodded, leaning back in his chair with a smile.

"Excellently done, Enterprise," he complimented her.

"So... All's whale that ends whale?" Riker asked with a grin.

Enterprise slowly turned and glared at the first officer. He shrugged.

"Someone had to make that joke," he said.

"Did you? Did you really?" Enterprise sighed.

- - -
 

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