All Star Wars all the time for Disney+
Andor, a series no one asked for about that Mexican dude who died in R
ogue One. In case you forgot, his name was something Andor. Cassie or something.
Obi Wan Kenobi. After Andor fails, Obi Wan Kenobi, another new Star Wars television series will likely be their only hope. Along with Ewan McGregor reprising his role, Hayden Christensen will be back as Darth Vader in the series.
Or at least it would be the only hope if Disney wasn't still making a half dozen more Star Wars projects for Disney Plus! Like
Lando, featuring a character named Lando who is in fact Black... and thus has to be directed by a Black Director, the same one who created the much beloved film
Dear White People.
There's also
The Acolyte featuring Leslye Headland who also helped produce
*googles* The Bacherlorette... Srsly? Wait a minute, I recognize her, she's the lady in all of those Youtube videos pointing out how woke Star Wars is... Shit! That's not a good sign if that's all I know her from.
But don't worry, if those don't suit your tastes, we have two animated Star Wars cartoons series,
The Bad Batch (allegedly produced in partnership China's exclusive Wuhan Production Studio) and
A Droid Story which is hopefully a deligthful tale about IG-88 murdering people and being a father figure to a growing (and constantly hungry) World Devastator.
DO YOU LIKE STAR WARS? Don't worry, there's also
Star Wars Visions, a series of short films about Star Wars!
Also beyond Star Wars, they're remaking
Willow into a television series! Why
Willow? Because they couldn't get their grubby hands on
The Princess Bride yet probably. What's that? You want more remakes of old and forgotten Disney properties?
How about 1992's
The Mighty Ducks... except this time it'll be called
Game Changers!
"In present day Minnesota, the Mighty Ducks have evolved from scrappy underdogs to an ultra-competitive, powerhouse youth hockey team. After 12-year-old Evan (Brady Noon) is unceremoniously cut from the Ducks, he and his mom Alex (Graham) set out to build their own ragtag team of misfits to challenge the cutthroat, win-at-all-costs culture of competitive youth sports. With the help of Gordon Bombay (Estevez), they discover the joys of playing just for the love of the game."
What? I don't even know...
Also they're updating
Turner & Hooch! It'll star Josh Peck. I think he was in the
Red Dawn remake which tells you he knows a quality role when he sees one. Considering his role as the dumb, ugly, stupid younger brother to Chris Hemsworth, presumably he'll be the dog in this film. Or maybe he will be reprising Tom Hanks character...
ALSO IN DEVELOPMENT! A prequel series to
Beauty & the Beast, a new version of
Swiss Family Robinson and... and... and... holy shit... something originally adapted for television.
The Mysterious Benedict Society, based off of some Young Adult novel series, apparently those are still relevant, and B
ig Shot, a drama series starring John Stamos as the coach of a Girls High School Basketball team!
Oh my gosssssssshhhhh I'm so excited...
I can't wait for Phase Three!