Turn 34 - I Ain't The Sharpest Tool In The Shed
Turn 34 - I Ain’t The Sharpest Tool In The Shed
Spring comes in like, well, spring. It’s nothing special, really, just more… spring like, you guess.
Of course, it also means that you are wearing the single most over the top ornate gown you’ve ever worn, complete with a wig of all things, as your darling daughter has gone so far around the bend in wedding planning that you are shocked.
And kicking yourself.
Because Sarah and Tony had gone so utterly nerdy that they decided to have a full up maximum Baroque wedding with all of the stops pulled out, all the fripperies and frivolities pulled in, and then fine tuning the whole thing up to 11.
Thank God for Air Conditioning, because you are absolutely certain that you would die from heat exhaustion if you so much as thought about going outside. The ruffles have ruffles, the layers have layers, there’s enough lace involved in this thing that you are certain there is now a lace shortage Empire wide.
And the wig, good god the wig. You wear your hair sensibly, not too short, not too long, comfortable. This wig weighs more than your combat helmet and is a frosted confection that is so dizzyingly complicated that you got a headache trying to figure it out.
Willis didn’t escape either, although you must say he really rocks the outfit. It’s just as over the top extravagant, and amusingly he’s having to wear high heeled buckled boots with it. Of course he wears the whole thing with total aplomb. It’s probably his fault anyways.
The bridesmaids are wearing gowns that are only marginally less over the top ornate than yours, with slightly less… exuberant wigs. But evidently Sarah’s friends came into this knowing they’d get stuffed into those monstrosities.
Nerds. All of them.
Tony looks like he just stepped out of a recruiting poster for Condottiere. Complete with a rapier that looks quite suitable for the swashing of many buckles. And still managing to look more Italian than should be allowed by law.
Your daughter’s gown makes yours look drab and plain. As she paces down the aisle to an exceptionally over the top wedding march that you vaguely recognize, even if it’s not the ‘traditional’ one, on Willis’ arm, she looks positively radiant. You are quite certain that you could easily purchase an entire lance of new Troopers with how much that dress cost, as outside the sheer insane baroque complexity of it you can see hundreds of gems glittering from where they decorate the intricate patterns of embroidery and lace. There are pearls, there are garnets, sapphires, emeralds, rubies, diamonds, you name the gem, there’s that gem. And somehow it works. It manages that indescribable balance between too gaudy and gauche, and too ‘try-hard’. It simply works.
OK, you admit it, it’s an absolutely gorgeous wedding. And you want to kick yourself because you are certain that if you hadn’t pushed those two as hard as you did they’d not be torturing you with this extravaganza.
The press and the people seem to be loving it, at least. So there’s that much.
After the sheer torture of the reception (Do people not realize just how hard it is to sit down with a bustle that huge?) the newlyweds head off on their honeymoon.
Maybe you’ll get more grandbabies out of this, would be the silver lining on the entire affair.
Parliament seems determined to be… helpful. Well, mostly so. Apart from the ordinary business of governance that proves quite smooth this year, there are a few proposals and pieces of legislation that you’ll need to consider and sign off on.
First of all, a bill to encourage internal emigration of culturally Polish citizens of Griffin’s Roost to Nowy Gdansk. The Chamber of Delegates points out that the climate alone is a serious barrier to many people, such that incentives would be needed if you want to see any real growth via internal migration. The Senate is less sanguine about this, thinking that time alone would be enough when combined with economic opportunities. It should be noted that the Delegates and Senators from Nowy Gdansk are amenable to either proposal.
Secondly, both the Senate and Chamber of Delegates are proposing to tighten and strengthen environmental protection laws Empire wide. As it stands every planet sets their own environmental policy, this bill would transfer this to the Imperial level and standardize things across all planets, with individual planets being able to set more stringent requirements if required by local conditions.
Business interests are firmly against the bill, then again they’ve opposed every environmental initiative that’s ever come up and have been lobbying hard at the Planetary level to weaken or even eliminate environmental laws you’ve put in place in the past.
Finally there is legislation from the Chamber of Delegates that, to be honest, is a minor power grab but one that really wouldn’t harm you politically. A number of delegates from Griffin’s Roost have pushed through a bill that would mandate that the next two DoME projects be, in order, building water purification systems on the coast of Phoenix and then building a mega-pipeline to transport the water to the interior in order to open the entire continent up for mining and exploitation.
Shifting away from Parliament, a consortium of racing executives representing various wheeled vehicle racing types have approached the crown. Representatives of endurance racing, stock car racing, Formula racing, off-road racing, and even karting have all gotten together and are requesting an Imperial Imprimatur allowing them to consolidate into a single governing body on the same model as the Hovercraft Racing League.
As it stands, in aggregate the various motorsports are managing to remain solvent, but they are all individually struggling due to the dominance of hovercraft racing thanks to your patronage and the participation of the twins.
Right now, thanks to your Imprimatur and patronage, the Hovercraft Racing League is functionally exempt from antitrust considerations, allowing them to consolidate operations to a degree that is driving the more traditional racing leagues into a severe competitive disadvantage.
You have two different options. First of all, withdraw your patronage of the Hovercraft Racing League, which would force it to split off the various sub-leagues (endurance races, sprint races, formula races, etc) into their own bodies. This would have severe consequences for the HRL, as the massive profitability of the Formula races, which the twins compete in, allows the League to offer substantial purses for endurance, sprint, and the lower level leagues. Severing the sub-leagues apart would quite likely see the quick death of the endurance and sprint leagues, as they’d be unlikely to be immediately viable at the scale they currently are at without the overall League support.
Second you could agree to extend your sponsorship to the more traditional forms of motorsports, allowing them to consolidate and enjoy the same corporate advantages as the HRL. This would allow the two fully profitable series, stock car and Formula, to drive resources and support to the less profitable series and thus permit the whole to become financially sound.
Spring comes in like, well, spring. It’s nothing special, really, just more… spring like, you guess.
Of course, it also means that you are wearing the single most over the top ornate gown you’ve ever worn, complete with a wig of all things, as your darling daughter has gone so far around the bend in wedding planning that you are shocked.
And kicking yourself.
Because Sarah and Tony had gone so utterly nerdy that they decided to have a full up maximum Baroque wedding with all of the stops pulled out, all the fripperies and frivolities pulled in, and then fine tuning the whole thing up to 11.
Thank God for Air Conditioning, because you are absolutely certain that you would die from heat exhaustion if you so much as thought about going outside. The ruffles have ruffles, the layers have layers, there’s enough lace involved in this thing that you are certain there is now a lace shortage Empire wide.
And the wig, good god the wig. You wear your hair sensibly, not too short, not too long, comfortable. This wig weighs more than your combat helmet and is a frosted confection that is so dizzyingly complicated that you got a headache trying to figure it out.
Willis didn’t escape either, although you must say he really rocks the outfit. It’s just as over the top extravagant, and amusingly he’s having to wear high heeled buckled boots with it. Of course he wears the whole thing with total aplomb. It’s probably his fault anyways.
The bridesmaids are wearing gowns that are only marginally less over the top ornate than yours, with slightly less… exuberant wigs. But evidently Sarah’s friends came into this knowing they’d get stuffed into those monstrosities.
Nerds. All of them.
Tony looks like he just stepped out of a recruiting poster for Condottiere. Complete with a rapier that looks quite suitable for the swashing of many buckles. And still managing to look more Italian than should be allowed by law.
Your daughter’s gown makes yours look drab and plain. As she paces down the aisle to an exceptionally over the top wedding march that you vaguely recognize, even if it’s not the ‘traditional’ one, on Willis’ arm, she looks positively radiant. You are quite certain that you could easily purchase an entire lance of new Troopers with how much that dress cost, as outside the sheer insane baroque complexity of it you can see hundreds of gems glittering from where they decorate the intricate patterns of embroidery and lace. There are pearls, there are garnets, sapphires, emeralds, rubies, diamonds, you name the gem, there’s that gem. And somehow it works. It manages that indescribable balance between too gaudy and gauche, and too ‘try-hard’. It simply works.
OK, you admit it, it’s an absolutely gorgeous wedding. And you want to kick yourself because you are certain that if you hadn’t pushed those two as hard as you did they’d not be torturing you with this extravaganza.
The press and the people seem to be loving it, at least. So there’s that much.
After the sheer torture of the reception (Do people not realize just how hard it is to sit down with a bustle that huge?) the newlyweds head off on their honeymoon.
Maybe you’ll get more grandbabies out of this, would be the silver lining on the entire affair.
Parliament seems determined to be… helpful. Well, mostly so. Apart from the ordinary business of governance that proves quite smooth this year, there are a few proposals and pieces of legislation that you’ll need to consider and sign off on.
First of all, a bill to encourage internal emigration of culturally Polish citizens of Griffin’s Roost to Nowy Gdansk. The Chamber of Delegates points out that the climate alone is a serious barrier to many people, such that incentives would be needed if you want to see any real growth via internal migration. The Senate is less sanguine about this, thinking that time alone would be enough when combined with economic opportunities. It should be noted that the Delegates and Senators from Nowy Gdansk are amenable to either proposal.
| [] | Side with Chamber of Delegates | Costs 50,000, transfers 10,000 POP from Griffin’s Roost to Nowy Gdansk, +25% GDP Nowy Gdansk next 5 turns, -1% GDP Griffin’s Roost this turn only. +5 Support Chamber of Delegates, -5 Support Senate |
| [] | Side With Senate | Transfers 1,000 POP from Griffin’s Roost to Nowy Gdansk, +5% GDP Nowy Gdansk this turn only +5 Support Senate, -5 Support Chamber of Delegates |
| [] | Side With Neither | -5 Support Senate, -5 Support Chamber of Delegates |
Secondly, both the Senate and Chamber of Delegates are proposing to tighten and strengthen environmental protection laws Empire wide. As it stands every planet sets their own environmental policy, this bill would transfer this to the Imperial level and standardize things across all planets, with individual planets being able to set more stringent requirements if required by local conditions.
Business interests are firmly against the bill, then again they’ve opposed every environmental initiative that’s ever come up and have been lobbying hard at the Planetary level to weaken or even eliminate environmental laws you’ve put in place in the past.
| [] | Approve | +1 POP Limit all planets. +10 Health all planets, +5 Research Event Rating, -50 Econ Rating, -10 Approval, +5 Politics |
| [] | Veto | -10 Support Senate, -10 Support Chamber of Delegates, -5 Politics, -5 Research Rating, -1 POP Limit all planets, -5 Health all planets, +10 Econ Rating |
Finally there is legislation from the Chamber of Delegates that, to be honest, is a minor power grab but one that really wouldn’t harm you politically. A number of delegates from Griffin’s Roost have pushed through a bill that would mandate that the next two DoME projects be, in order, building water purification systems on the coast of Phoenix and then building a mega-pipeline to transport the water to the interior in order to open the entire continent up for mining and exploitation.
| [] | Agree | +1 Influence Chamber of Delegates, +10 Support Chamber of Delegates |
| [] | Oppose | -10 Support Chamber of Delegates |
Shifting away from Parliament, a consortium of racing executives representing various wheeled vehicle racing types have approached the crown. Representatives of endurance racing, stock car racing, Formula racing, off-road racing, and even karting have all gotten together and are requesting an Imperial Imprimatur allowing them to consolidate into a single governing body on the same model as the Hovercraft Racing League.
As it stands, in aggregate the various motorsports are managing to remain solvent, but they are all individually struggling due to the dominance of hovercraft racing thanks to your patronage and the participation of the twins.
Right now, thanks to your Imprimatur and patronage, the Hovercraft Racing League is functionally exempt from antitrust considerations, allowing them to consolidate operations to a degree that is driving the more traditional racing leagues into a severe competitive disadvantage.
You have two different options. First of all, withdraw your patronage of the Hovercraft Racing League, which would force it to split off the various sub-leagues (endurance races, sprint races, formula races, etc) into their own bodies. This would have severe consequences for the HRL, as the massive profitability of the Formula races, which the twins compete in, allows the League to offer substantial purses for endurance, sprint, and the lower level leagues. Severing the sub-leagues apart would quite likely see the quick death of the endurance and sprint leagues, as they’d be unlikely to be immediately viable at the scale they currently are at without the overall League support.
Second you could agree to extend your sponsorship to the more traditional forms of motorsports, allowing them to consolidate and enjoy the same corporate advantages as the HRL. This would allow the two fully profitable series, stock car and Formula, to drive resources and support to the less profitable series and thus permit the whole to become financially sound.
| [] | Withdraw HRL patronage | The twins would be unhappy. -10 Approval Change, +5 Economy Event |
| [] | Extend patronage to traditional motorsports | Opens new event chains, +1% tax rate next year |
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