Turn 104 - Teach Us Not To Be Too Loud
You take a deep breath, and authorize the RRF to be deployed to Nouvelle Picardie, with a brief prayer for the soul of the Duc, or at least his sanity.
No seriously, that was praying, not cackling like mad and grinning like an idiot. Praying. Just… in a new and creative way. That’s your story and you are sticking to it.
The RRF Division celebrated the movement orders by blitzing through Griffsport on their way to the military drop port, snarling up traffic and for some reason buying every single can of fluorescent spray paint they could find in city stores while they were doing it. You have a bad feeling about this.
You get a report several weeks later from General Fitzpatrick, complete with video featuring the howls of outrage from the Duc… as evidently the RRF decided that simply engaging in high speed objective raids was too boring for them, so they instead went to a large cliff overlooking the Ducal palace and capital city, and in plain view of the entire city conducted an impromptu painting lesson making use of the fluorescent paints they purchased featuring the Duc engaged in the obtaining of unlawful carnal knowledge of sheep. In figures large enough to be fully visible from the city, and with paint that is all but indelible. And glows in the dark. Brightly.
They then vamoosed before the Ducal forces could reach them, while loudly broadcasting baa-ing noises upon the command to deploy ‘
Duc de Nouvelle Picardie Mating Calls’.
Several days later they went off gallivanting around again, after spending most of that time ‘borrowing’ a number of print shops in the occupied area, and proceeded to plaster road signs wherever there weren’t any enemy forces with posters advertising things like velcro gloves, knee-pads, and inflatable sheep blow up dolls, all with the Ducal Seal Of Approval and the slogan ‘Tel qu'utilisé par le duc de Nouvelle Picardie’ or ‘As Used By The Duc de Nouvelle Picardie’ and with the Ducal Palace’s gift shop address listed.
Within less than a week after arrival, the RRF has so enraged the Duc that he’s publicly declared multi-million franc bounties on their heads. Offensive operations are becoming easier, as the RRF will first show up, usually waving large sheep flags, then race off with an inordinate number of Ducal forces being lured out of their defenses to chase them, enraged by their mockery. Said Ducal forces promptly get butchered by your regular forces the moment they are too far away from their defensive positions to escape in time.
The general does wryly report that there are complaints coming in from your own signal troops over the RRF appropriating their gear to broadcast more taunts and insults. You have to admit that you find some of their ideas a bit offensive, like the Duc de Nouvelle Picardie Official Toilet Bowl Brush shaped like a tongue…
The RRF is very skillfully avoiding getting cornered by virtue of their great speed and excellent sensors, targeting not enemy forces but enemy morale, and even more skillfully targeting the known temper of the Duc, driving him into a blind fury. It does mean that any prospect of any sort of negotiated peace is now well and truly off the table, but you figure that that wasn’t a reasonable consideration anyways.
General Fitzpatrick estimates that the RRF will reduce the amount of time needed to reduce the ducal defenses by at least 6 months thanks to their activities, assuming that they don’t cause the Duc to expire from a stroke beforehand. It’s an interesting application of the ancient wisdom from Sun Tzu regarding choleric opponents. Seems the ancients knew a thing or two.
You don’t have all that much time available to devote to watching the Olympics, but from what you do see Team Griffon is doing superbly, although not nearly as dominant as the last Olympics. Reviews are generally quite positive, and the letters and videos you’ve gotten from your daughter have been quite enjoyable, showing how much she is enjoying herself.
You’ve narrowed down the choices for where you’ll be sending your daughter for high school to two, and for some reason your great-aunt, Tiberius, and oddly enough the Black Pumpernickel representative start snickering when you mention it in passing while enjoying a performance. None of them will tell you why.
You don’t get it, the academics for the school look quite good, it has excellent reviews, it meets all the criteria of not being an ‘upper class’ school where your daughter would be isolated from the ‘common’ folk.
Parliament is in session and it seems that Yet Another Farm Bill is in the docket this year. This one is a bit different in that it is oriented around providing Imperial assistance for people who wish to operate small garden farms as well as truck farms, rather than more extensive establishments. Moreover the assistance seems to mostly consist of educational resources, training, and the provision of suitable seeds for the purpose rather than significant economic subsidies. It would apply even in fairly heavily urbanized planets like those found in the Core without affecting the major agricorps that control agriculture there, while also not competing with the agriworlds and their traditions of large numbers of family farms producing goods for export.
It’s an interesting concept, and the numbers seem quite reasonable to you.
| [] | Action | Argument | Effects |
| [] | Sign the Farm Bill of 3034 | For a relatively small amount of money, especially in comparison to the yearly budget spent on things like cultural preservation and sports, we can encourage people to maintain gardens and small truck farms, increasing self-sustenance and ensuring greater variety in foodstuffs. Studies show that fresh vegetables and fruits grown in such gardens are viewed favorably over commercially grown equivalents and encourage healthier eating habits.
Furthermore, studies indicate that the majority of the funds spent on this program would benefit the lower middle class rather than the wealthy. Since the spending is for educational resources and basic seeds, there is nothing within it that would be attractive to a millionaire dilettante. |
- Increases Agriculture level to 3
- Approximately $96,000,000.00 in additional upkeep prior to efficiency reductions
- Increases POP limit by 10
- +1 Politics
- -1 Economic Event
|
| [] | Veto the Farm Bill of 3034 | We should not be wasting time and money on something this ridiculous and niche. There are plenty of healthy options in the grocery store from recognized providers who don’t require having their hands held in order to perform their work. If somebody wants to garden let them do their own research on their own dime, the taxpayers should have nothing to do with it. It’s irrelevant that we spend money on other things that are equally frivolous, just because we’ve been dumb about other things doesn’t mean we should be dumb here too. |
- +1 Approval Change
- +1 Economy
- -1 Research Event
- -1 Politics
- -5 support
- Chamber of Delegates
- Imperial Senate
|
