Kioras
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Yeah, I do understand that. Reformating the text to post right is annoying.
Also seeing if you can get your Muse back.
Regardless good luck.
Blessings To This Wonderful Overlord! (A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI Story)
- Thread starter JasonSanjo
- Start date
Yeah, I do understand that. Reformating the text to post right is annoying.
Also seeing if you can get your Muse back.
Regardless good luck.
Chapter 16: Sight-Seeing
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Blessings To This Wonderful Overlord!
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Chapter Sixteen: Sight-Seeing
Nerimaki wasn’t surprised when Arue walked into her parents’ bar, carrying armloads of paper. While it didn’t happen every day, it wasn’t unusual to see the Crimson Magic Clan’s number one writer spend hours at a table, writing. What did surprise Nerimaki, however, was that Arue wasn’t alone.
There was a blond woman with her, wearing the blue robes of an Axis Church Priest. While Nerimaki had never had the occasion to interact with them herself, she had heard… concerning… things from the Crimson Magic Clanners who handled bringing mail and supplies between Arcanletia and the Crimson Magic Village.
There were also a number of… creatures… looking almost like what she had heard goblins looked like. She had never heard of a brown or blue goblin, though, so they were probably something else. The weapons most of them were carrying did bring her some amount of alarm, but they didn’t appear hostile, the unsettling leering of the one in the scary mask aside.
Lastly, and this Nerimaki found very, very important, there was a man. At first she took him for a Crimson Magic Clanner, but then she saw his eyes – rather than the deep crimson of her fellow villagers, his eyes appeared to be shifting between blue and green, depending on the angle. How odd.
But really, Arue, with a man? This was unprecedented! She had to tell someone!
Surreptitiously, Nerimaki snuck out of the bar. Her dad would probably berate her later for not finishing the sweeping, but this was far more important than mere cleaning!
Nerimaki found Funifura in the living room of her house, where she was busily playing with her little brother.
… Well, actually, it was more like she was doting on her little brother, who was struggling to get away.
Really, Nerimaki had no idea why Funifura was like that. But, just like with the cleaning, it wasn’t important at the moment.
“Funifura!”
“Eh? Ah, Nerimaki. What’s up?” Funifura asked, raising her head briefly to look at her.
“Something happened! Arue is… Arue is…!”
“What about Arue?” Funifura asked, returning her attention to her brother. “Did she make you read something weird, again? I’ve told you before, you shouldn’t-”
“Arue is with a guy!”
“Eh?” Funifura was so surprised by this revelation that she barely noticed as her brother squirmed out of her grip and beat a hasty retreat up the stairs. She fixed Nerimaki with her gaze, eyes shining. “Tell me everything.”
“I’ll do one better,” Nerimaki said. “I’ll show you. They’re at the bar, right now!”
“Then let’s go! Come on, we’ll pick up Dodonko on the way!”
“Um, Arue?” I asked.
The Crimson Magic Clanner didn’t even look up from her notebook. “Yes?”
“Why’s there a bunch of girls staring at us through the window?”
At the mention of “girls”, Cecily’s head whipped around so fast I seriously wondered if she didn’t give herself whiplash. Twisting her body around in her seat, she stared at the window, where not one, not two, but three teenage girls could be seen hunched by the corner of the window, their crimson eyes shining in the surrounding darkness. If I didn’t already know about that particular quirk of the Crimson Magic Clan, I would have probably thought there was a bunch of monsters outside.
Arue looked up as Cecily’s chair hit the floor.
“Oh, those three? Looks like Nerimaki, the bar owner’s daughter, and Funifura and Dodonko.”
“’Dodonko’? The hell kinda name is that…?” I murmured. “Sounds like Diddy Kong’s sister or something.”
Cecily, for her part, was fairly squealing as she looked at the three girls in the window. “Oh, they’re all so cute! I can’t contain myself!”
Oh, wow, that didn’t sound like the prologue to a crime at all. “Uh, Cecily, you should probably-”
Before I could even finish my sentence, the Priest ran out of the bar. I watched through the window as the three girls’ eyes widened in shock an instant before they all scattered, a dark shape I could only assume was Cecily chasing after them.
… You know, it was strange. On the one hand, I felt like I should intervene, but on the other, those three girls were obviously spying on us for whatever reason, so…
“I feel conflicted.”
Arue looked at me sharply. “Oh? Because the demon sealed inside of you is fighting to get out and wreak havoc on the world?”
“… Yeah, sure, let’s go with that.”
A few minutes later, Cecily returned, looking dejected.
“I can’t believe they got away…”
“Good,” I deadpanned as she knelt and picked up her chair. She sat. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your behavior. I don’t know if they have sexual harassment laws around here or not, but you probably shouldn’t antagonize the locals either way.”
“Antagonize the locals? Me?” Cecily asked innocently.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Yes. You.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said dismissively. “And anyway, what about what you were doing to that one guy we ran into when we entered the village?”
“He had it coming,” I said flatly. “Totally different.”
“Hmm? If you say so…”
I stared at Cecily for a moment, then shook my head and turned to Arue. “Alright, let’s continue where we left off, shall we?”
Arue smiled.
The next day, after spending the night in one of the rental rooms at the bar – I paid extra to put Cecily in her own room; I did not need her trying to sneak into my bed – I had breakfast and then set out to look for Smasher.
Fortunately, he wasn’t hard to find. The other Minions and I – Cecily had excused herself, saying she was going to “look around the village” – found the missing Brown in pretty much the same spot we’d inadvertently left him the day before. The orc was missing, though.
“Hey, Smasher,” I said as I knelt next to the Brown. “You okay?”
Smasher opened his eyes. “Oh, Overlord,” he said. He sounded tired.
“You okay, Smasher?” I asked again. “You look exhausted.”
“… I smash,” he said slowly, grinning.
“Yeah, I remember,” I said, nodding. “Good job. Do you need healing?”
Smasher moved his hips and immediately winced. “Yes, please, Master.”
“Floom, fix him up,” I ordered. Straightening, I looked around. The Greens were already scouting the area for signs of hostiles, but it didn’t hurt to keep a lookout myself, as well. I did keep a tab on the proceedings out of the corner of my eye, though.
“What is happen to you?” Floom asked as he healed up the Brown.
Smasher’s grin only widened. “I smash.”
The other Minions exchanged puzzled looks. “What you is smash?” Slasher asked.
“Orcs,” Smasher said gleefully. “Many, many orcs.”
“Sorry we weren’t here to help out,” I said without turning. So more orcs showed up after we left, huh? But where were the corpses? Did Smasher get knocked unconscious and left for dead?
“Is no problem, Overlord,” the Brown replied cordially. Well, he was really proving himself to be the bigger man here, wasn’t he? I should get him something nice, to show he’s appreciated. Maybe some knuckledusters, so he could smash things even if he drops his mace?
“Well, as soon as you’re healed up, we’re heading back to the village. One of the locals agreed to show us to an area where there’s plenty of Fire Drakes.”
“Okies, Overlord.”
“So these are Fire Drakes, huh?” I asked as I beheld the two creatures before me. Just like their sketched pictures in the Belzerg Monster Manual (5th edition), they looked like Komodo dragons… only bigger than horses and with bright red scales covering their reptilian forms.
“They are indeed. Good luck to you,” Arue said behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw her standing a ways off, Cecily next to her.
“You can do it, Overlord! Woo!” the blond Priest cheered, pumping her fist in the air and then waving it around. She had rejoined us shortly after we returned to the village. I rolled my eyes at the display and returned my attention to the Fire Drakes, which had begun circling in opposite directions, clearly intending to catch the Minions and myself in a cross-fire.
“Slasher,” I said as I watched the two fire-breathing lizards warily.
“Yes, Overlord?”
“Remember to aim for the eyes.”
The Brown blinked. “Er, okies, Overlord, but- Wheeeeeee!”
His query turned into a gleeful shout as I punted the Minion at the leftmost Fire Drake. I had learned a while back that he derived a strange joy from sailing through the air, so why not take advantage of it? Taking a homicidal Minion to the face was sure to ruin anyone’s day, especially when said Minion was armed to the teeth.
With one Fire Drake distracted by the Brown currently stabbing its eyes out while cackling maniacally, I turned to its companion. To my alarm, it had opened up its mouth and was drawing in a breath, a fiery conflagration gathering at the back of its throat.
I did the first thing that came to my mind. Raising my left arm and pointing, I shouted, “Create Water!”
A high-pressure jet of water shot from my outstretched finger, straight down the beast’s gullet. While I doubted the Basic Magic spell would be enough to put out the flames gathering inside of the Fire Drake, it did create a sudden explosion of steam, which in turn caused the monster to cough violently. On its second cough, it accidentally swallowed the ball of fire, which detonated inside its belly with a dull noise. Unlike the time I had done something similar to a One-Punch Bear, however, it didn’t seem to have much effect beyond causing the monster’s belly to expand briefly. As the Fire Drake continued coughing, I took advantage of its distraction.
“Smasher, charge! Beat that fucker to a pulp! Greens, assist!”
“For the Master!”
The three Minions let out a wordless battle cry and charged. Smasher smashed his mace into the side of the Fire Drake’s face, staggering it, while Stabby and Stabbit jumped up on its back and immediately sank their blades deep into the base of its neck.
Within moments, the beast was felled. Once I was satisfied it wouldn’t be getting back up – courtesy of Smasher’s mace coming down to crush the monster’s skull to a pulp – I turned my attention to Slasher.
The Fire Drake was bleeding profusely from numerous cuts to the face, but it was still kicking, trying vainly to hit Slasher with its fire breath. Unfortunately, the Minion was holding on to its head via a knife sticking out of its neck – how the heck was it even still alive? – and clearly had the upper hand. Frankly, it didn’t look like I would have to intervene at all.
Five seconds later, I was proven right, as Slasher drew the Unicorn Bunny horn from its resting place in one of his belts and stabbed straight down, burying the improvised weapon deep inside the Fire Drake’s skull. It let out a single, tiny jet of flame as it exhaled, then collapsed.
“Good job, everyone. See if you can get the teeth and claws out. And maybe some scales, too; we can probably sell it all in the village.” As I said this, I stepped forward and absorbed the life force orbs that popped out of the two dead Fire Drakes – red, as I’d presumed, and roughly volleyball-sized.
“That was very impressive,” Arue said as I rejoined the women. “The way you used the Fire Drake’s own fire breath against it, and then had your Minions finish it off… It speaks of both resourcefulness and tactical ability.”
“Heh, thanks,” I said, grinning. “It wasn’t that big of a deal, though; there were only two of them. If a whole bunch of ‘em showed up-”
I cut myself off as Arue pointed behind me. Turning, I saw five more of the red-scaled monsters appear from between the trees. They did not look happy.
I drew my longsword. “Right. Saves me the trouble of hunting you down. Minions…!”
We returned to the Crimson Magic Village several hours later. With no less than twelve Fire Drakes – and a single One-Punch Bear, who was a lot easier to defeat this time around – dead and my Minions loaded down with scavenged body parts, I could safely say our sojourn had been a resounding success. I was seriously contemplating leaving just as soon as I could sell everything, but Arue convinced me to stay another day, even offering to show me around the village in exchange for helping her with her writing.
Really, she was so much more helpful and pleasant to talk to than some other women I could name… Seriously, why did the first woman to show any romantic interest in me in this world have to be a fucking gold digger?! Why couldn’t I ever attract the attention of a nice, down-to-Earth girl who liked me for me?
“Atchoo!”
“Are you okay, Luna? You’re not coming down with something, are you?”
“I hope not! I have far too much work to do to get sick.”
“I hear ya.”
“I wonder what he’s doing…”
“Hmm? Did you say something?”
“Nothing!”
Unfortunately, it didn’t seem I had much more luck with women in this world than the last one. Nothing but gold diggers and the mentally unstable… Oh, well, a man could dream.
“Say, Arue, do you know anyplace I could sell all this stuff?” I asked, gesturing to the Minions’ cargo.
The Crimson Magic Village’s number one writer nodded. “This village has several magic item craftsmen, and monster parts are important crafting ingredients. You might be able to sell parts for a good price to the individual craftsmen, but I think it would be easier if you just sold it all to the general store. You won’t get quite as good a price, but it’ll let you sell it all at once.”
“Sounds good to me. Where to?”
“Follow me.”
As I followed Arue down the street, the Minions in tow, I couldn’t help but feel as if we were being watched. Glancing around, I soon spotted three faces peeking out from behind a building. While I couldn’t say for sure from this distance, I was fairly certain it was the same trio of girls from the other night. Why, though?
“Hey, Arue,” I said, “do you know why those three are following us?”
Arue looked back at me. “Who?”
“I think it’s those three girls we saw yesterday,” I clarified. “The Donkey Kong triplets.”
She blinked. “What?”
“Never mind. It’s probably not important, anyway… Just feels a bit weird.”
Arue regarded me quietly for a moment as we walked. “… If you’re talking about Nerimaki, Funifura and Dodonko, I imagine it’s because they’re curious. We don’t get many visitors here.”
“Yeah, I gathered as much the other day. Isn’t that a problem? I mean, you can’t do much trade.”
She shrugged. “It’s true we don’t get any caravans up here,” she said, “but we have several Arch-wizards who’ve set up teleport points in Arcanletia. They go there once a month to buy and sell wares.”
I blinked. “Oh, really? That’s convenient.” And surprisingly practical, given these people’s “tendencies”…
“Ah, there’s the general store,” Arue said suddenly, pointing to a two-story building not far-off.
“Perfect. Let’s sell this stuff and then you can show me around.”
“I’ll be happy to. Shouldn’t we wait for Cecily, though?”
“Hell, no. She ran off on her own, she can stay on her own, as far as I’m concerned.”
“You two have a very strange relationship.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
A short while later, we were wandering around the Crimson Magic Village, starting at the gate and working our way through the village.
“This here is no mere griffin statue. In reality, it’s a griffin that was struck by petrification magic and then put on a pedestal to serve as a warning to other monsters.”
“Wait, seriously? Wow. Hey, what’s that building over there?”
“Over there is the Monster Museum. It’s where you can read up on the biology of various monsters as well as see examples of various monster parts and their uses. There’s even several stuffed monsters.”
“Ohhh, I gotta see that before I leave! What’s next?”
“This is the Deadly Poison Café.”
“’Deadly...’ Really? That’s not a name to attract customers, is it?”
“The owner thought it sounded cool.”
“Of course he did… What’s that building next to it?”
“That’s the Goblin Slayer armor shop.”
“… You’re kidding me.”
“Why would I joke about a name?”
“No, never mind. Let’s just continue on.”
“This is the Public Bathhouse.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Maybe I’ll visit before I leave. Hey, do you have a sauna?”
“… I don’t know what that is.”
“Dang.”
“This is the Cat-Ears Shrine.”
“Yeah, the, uh, giant cat ears on the roof kinda gave it away. And… is that a neko girl doll in there?”
“I don’t know what ‘neko’ means, but the doll was gifted to our village by a traveler after he was saved from monsters. He said it was his most prized possession.”
Yeah… Definitely another reincarnator. Probably Japanese, if the doll’s swimsuit is any indication… This village sure has some weird tourist attractions.
“This is a holy sword,” Arue said at our next stop: a large stone at the side of the road, with a sword stuck in it. “It is said that whoever manages to draw the sword from its resting place will receive a great power…!”
“…”
“What’s the matter?” Arue asked, giving me a quizzical look.
“… That’s very clearly the Master Sword.”
“The what?”
I stared at the sword sticking out of the stone. No matter how you looked at it, it was a dead ringer for the Master Sword, from the Zelda games. The long, shiny blade, the royal blue hilt and the vaguely wing-shaped cross-guard… No, hang on. The blade was straight – didn’t the Master Sword have a bulge in it, near the hilt? Also, this sword didn’t have the Tri-force emblazoned on it anywhere that I could see. And the cross-guard was actually a golden yellow, not blue like the handle. It might have had a slightly longer hilt, as well, as this was clearly a longsword, and I only remembered Link wielding the Master Sword one-handed.
So it was a fake, then. Did a reincarnator come here with the ability to create powerful magic items and try to make a copy from memory?
“Ah, welcome, welcome!”
“Eh?”
I turned as a muscular, middle-aged man appeared from behind a nearby tree. He wore a simple tunic and apron, very unlike the rest of the villagers, who all seemed to favor wizard’s robes. He was rubbing his hands together as he smiled at me.
“Would you like the chance to draw the holy sword, good sir? Why, just for today, you could have the chance to earn this mythical blade, and all for the low, low price of 1,000 eris!”
Ah, so it was a scam. Figures. Still… I focused on my magic senses, just to make sure, and found that the sword was indeed radiating powerful magic. In addition, there appeared to be a secondary effect of some kind, wreathing itself around the blade and even the stone. A seal?
A thought occurred to me, then. I turned to the man, all smiles. “Sure, I’d like to try.”
“Thank you, thank you!” the man said as he happily accepted payment. “Please, step right up and give it your best, sir!”
“Oh, I will,” I said, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. I stepped onto the stone and gripped the sword’s hilt with both hands. I could feel the magic flowing between my fingers. I took a deep breath, then quietly whispered, “Evil Presence.”
“Go for it, Master!” “You is can do it!” “Woooo!”
Weeks ago, when I first “acquired” the Dark Castle, I had fought a bunch of undead for it, and their leader had carried a powerful magical artifact around his neck. The artifact had a curse on it… A curse I broke with the power of the Gauntlet. The magic of the curse had been wreathed around the artifact and drawn its power from it, much like the magic currently wreathing itself around the sword and the stone. Logically, there was a chance I could use the same method, here.
As I exerted power through the Gauntlet, tendrils of magic began appearing all along the length of the blade. The tendrils turned into arcs of lightning as the magics fought against each other. Gritting my teeth, I poured more power into it… and then, I felt the magic binding the sword to the stone begin to fray, like the threads of a tapestry. I just… had to… tug… there!
With a victorious roar, I pulled with all my might. There was a metallic shing as the blade tore itself free of the stone, and I very nearly lost my balance with the sudden shift of momentum. I stepped down from the stone and turned, taking a moment to bleed off the gathered momentum before I raised the sword up and swung it experimentally several times. I then put the blade on the edge of my finger to find the balance point.
“Good grip,” I said to no one. “A bit lighter than I’m used to, but perfectly balanced for slashing. Let’s see how she sings.”
I switched my grip around, holding the sword up by the hilt between my thumb and forefinger, the blade pointing down. I took a moment to calm myself, then rapped the blade with my other hand.
The sword sang beautifully. One node was located near the tip, the other in the hilt, right below the cross-guard. Perfection.
“This is probably the best sword I’ve ever had, actually,” I said quietly. Then I smiled. “Thanks!”
The would-be scam artist who’d taken my money was sitting on his ass on the ground, face pale and trembling. “B-b-but… that sword was sealed…”
“Indeed,” Arue agreed solemnly. “It was enchanted to be sealed within the stone until the 10,000th attempt. And yet, less than a hundred people have risen to the challenge.”
“I guess that means the sword chose me, then,” I said, trying and failing to hide the smug grin on my face.
“Yes!” Arue exclaimed, her eye shining crimson. “Forsooth, you are the chosen wielder of the holy sword! There is no other explanation for the seal failing so early! Now, you must go forth and wield it against the forces of darkness, save the world from ruin, and-”
“Okay, let’s not get carried away,” I interrupted her. I rested the blade against my shoulder and turned to the scam artist. “So, 1,000 eris times 10,000 tries, huh? That’s quite a tidy sum you would’ve made if I hadn’t come along. Too bad for you.”
The man groaned miserably as the Minions laughed and pointed at him.
“So, Arue,” I said, turning back to my guide. “What’s next on the tour?”
“This is the Wishing Pond. It is said since ancient times that if you throw in an ax or a coin you have a chance of summoning the goddess of riches to reward you.”
“Looks like an ordinary pond, to me. Well, aside from the fountain. That’s pretty neat. Why an ax, though…?”
“No one knows. It’s very popular, however. If the blacksmith didn’t routinely dredge the pond, it would be nothing but a pile of metal.”
“… Uh-huh…”
“This is an ancient underground facility that is said to be home to a weapon capable of destroying the world,” Arue said as we stopped outside of what looked like the door to a bomb shelter.
I said as much. “Seriously? It looks kinda like a bomb shelter if you ask me.”
The Crimson Magic Clanner gave me a puzzled look. “What’s a bomb shelter?”
“Never mind. Why’s there a factory over there?”
“Fac… to… reeh?”
I gestured toward the big, concrete building. “That thing. It’s clearly a factory of some sort. What’s that about?”
“Oh, the mysterious facility… No one knows who built it, or why. The inside is mostly empty.”
“Huh. Probably built by some reincarnator, back in the day… You have a lot of weird stuff in your village. So what’s next?”
Arue hummed thoughtfully. “We’ve seen pretty much everything in the village… There’s still a few more tourist spots, but they’re a ways outside the bounds of the village itself. See those mountains? We have several-”
“Yeah, there’s no way we’re making it there and back before dark. We’ll just skip ‘em… Thanks for the tour!”
“You’re welcome, oh, Overlord,” Arue said solemnly, making a show of giving me a deep bow.
“… Please don’t,” I said.
“You have a unique class,” she said. “What’s wrong with drawing attention to it? You should be proud of it.”
I sighed. I’d told Arue about the whole thing after she heard Cecily refer to me as “Overlord” before. As expected, she’s been absolutely thrilled about it, especially the part about the Gauntlet. “That’s not the point. Just… Ah, never mind. Can we go back to the bar, now? I wanna get something to eat and go to sleep. I should probably look for Cecily, too…”
“As you wish.”
The next day, it was finally time to leave the Crimson Magic Village behind. The two days I’d spent here had been very productive, to say the least – I’d gotten the red life force I’d wanted, I’d gained a lot of XP, a decent amount of cash from selling monster parts, and I even netted myself a magic sword!
… I never did find Cecily, though, which was weird, but at the very least she stumbled down the stairs this morning after I sent some of the Minions to knock on her door. She was bleary-eyed and clearly hadn’t slept much.
“Why are we up this early?” she asked drearily.
“Because we’re leaving. Why else?”
“The sun’s barely up.”
“Exactly; we want to cover as much ground as possible. Or do you prefer taking it slow and running into a bunch more monsters on the way?”
“… Fine.”
We left the bar after breakfast. To my mild surprise, Arue was waiting for us by the griffin “statue”.
“Hey, good morning,” I greeted her, giving the Crimson Magic Clanner a warm smile. “It’s been fun. Thanks for helping me out while I was here.”
“The pleasure is mine, Overlord,” she said, her eye shining.
“… Really?” I asked in a deadpan.
She smiled impishly and turned to Cecily. “Cecily-”
“I’m going to miss you so much!” the blond Priest exclaimed and hugged Arue’s head to her chest. “Promise Big Sis Cecily you’ll be a good girl, okay?”
“You barely interacted with her, though,” I muttered, shaking my head.
Eventually, Arue was able to extract herself from Cecily’s grip. “A-anyway, good luck to you both,” she said, clearly shaken by Cecily’s goodbye. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to me. “I will always remember the lessons you’ve taught me, Teacher.”
“Ah… ‘teacher’ is a bit-”
“I foresee great things in your future, Overlord,” Arue said dramatically, interrupting me. “I have no doubt news of your deeds will reach even to the Crimson Magic Village.”
“Well, we’ll see,” I said noncommittally. “Time will tell.”
“Time will tell, indeed,” Arue agreed, nodding. Then she smiled. “Goodbye.”
I returned the smile. “Goodbye, Arue. Keep on writing.”
“I will.”
With that, we left the Crimson Magic Village behind.
As she watched Jason, Cecily and the Minions go, Arue opened up her notebook and continued writing.
“‘And so, the Overlord left the Crimson Magic Village behind to continue pursuing his life’s ambition: to conquer the world…’”
Closing the notebook, Arue turned around... to come face-to-face with Nerimaki, Dodonko and Funifura.
“Oh, good morning.”
“““Tell us everything!”””
End Chapter Sixteen
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Chapter Sixteen: Sight-Seeing
Nerimaki wasn’t surprised when Arue walked into her parents’ bar, carrying armloads of paper. While it didn’t happen every day, it wasn’t unusual to see the Crimson Magic Clan’s number one writer spend hours at a table, writing. What did surprise Nerimaki, however, was that Arue wasn’t alone.
There was a blond woman with her, wearing the blue robes of an Axis Church Priest. While Nerimaki had never had the occasion to interact with them herself, she had heard… concerning… things from the Crimson Magic Clanners who handled bringing mail and supplies between Arcanletia and the Crimson Magic Village.
There were also a number of… creatures… looking almost like what she had heard goblins looked like. She had never heard of a brown or blue goblin, though, so they were probably something else. The weapons most of them were carrying did bring her some amount of alarm, but they didn’t appear hostile, the unsettling leering of the one in the scary mask aside.
Lastly, and this Nerimaki found very, very important, there was a man. At first she took him for a Crimson Magic Clanner, but then she saw his eyes – rather than the deep crimson of her fellow villagers, his eyes appeared to be shifting between blue and green, depending on the angle. How odd.
But really, Arue, with a man? This was unprecedented! She had to tell someone!
Surreptitiously, Nerimaki snuck out of the bar. Her dad would probably berate her later for not finishing the sweeping, but this was far more important than mere cleaning!
Nerimaki found Funifura in the living room of her house, where she was busily playing with her little brother.
… Well, actually, it was more like she was doting on her little brother, who was struggling to get away.
Really, Nerimaki had no idea why Funifura was like that. But, just like with the cleaning, it wasn’t important at the moment.
“Funifura!”
“Eh? Ah, Nerimaki. What’s up?” Funifura asked, raising her head briefly to look at her.
“Something happened! Arue is… Arue is…!”
“What about Arue?” Funifura asked, returning her attention to her brother. “Did she make you read something weird, again? I’ve told you before, you shouldn’t-”
“Arue is with a guy!”
“Eh?” Funifura was so surprised by this revelation that she barely noticed as her brother squirmed out of her grip and beat a hasty retreat up the stairs. She fixed Nerimaki with her gaze, eyes shining. “Tell me everything.”
“I’ll do one better,” Nerimaki said. “I’ll show you. They’re at the bar, right now!”
“Then let’s go! Come on, we’ll pick up Dodonko on the way!”
“Um, Arue?” I asked.
The Crimson Magic Clanner didn’t even look up from her notebook. “Yes?”
“Why’s there a bunch of girls staring at us through the window?”
At the mention of “girls”, Cecily’s head whipped around so fast I seriously wondered if she didn’t give herself whiplash. Twisting her body around in her seat, she stared at the window, where not one, not two, but three teenage girls could be seen hunched by the corner of the window, their crimson eyes shining in the surrounding darkness. If I didn’t already know about that particular quirk of the Crimson Magic Clan, I would have probably thought there was a bunch of monsters outside.
Arue looked up as Cecily’s chair hit the floor.
“Oh, those three? Looks like Nerimaki, the bar owner’s daughter, and Funifura and Dodonko.”
“’Dodonko’? The hell kinda name is that…?” I murmured. “Sounds like Diddy Kong’s sister or something.”
Cecily, for her part, was fairly squealing as she looked at the three girls in the window. “Oh, they’re all so cute! I can’t contain myself!”
Oh, wow, that didn’t sound like the prologue to a crime at all. “Uh, Cecily, you should probably-”
Before I could even finish my sentence, the Priest ran out of the bar. I watched through the window as the three girls’ eyes widened in shock an instant before they all scattered, a dark shape I could only assume was Cecily chasing after them.
… You know, it was strange. On the one hand, I felt like I should intervene, but on the other, those three girls were obviously spying on us for whatever reason, so…
“I feel conflicted.”
Arue looked at me sharply. “Oh? Because the demon sealed inside of you is fighting to get out and wreak havoc on the world?”
“… Yeah, sure, let’s go with that.”
A few minutes later, Cecily returned, looking dejected.
“I can’t believe they got away…”
“Good,” I deadpanned as she knelt and picked up her chair. She sat. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your behavior. I don’t know if they have sexual harassment laws around here or not, but you probably shouldn’t antagonize the locals either way.”
“Antagonize the locals? Me?” Cecily asked innocently.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Yes. You.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said dismissively. “And anyway, what about what you were doing to that one guy we ran into when we entered the village?”
“He had it coming,” I said flatly. “Totally different.”
“Hmm? If you say so…”
I stared at Cecily for a moment, then shook my head and turned to Arue. “Alright, let’s continue where we left off, shall we?”
Arue smiled.
The next day, after spending the night in one of the rental rooms at the bar – I paid extra to put Cecily in her own room; I did not need her trying to sneak into my bed – I had breakfast and then set out to look for Smasher.
Fortunately, he wasn’t hard to find. The other Minions and I – Cecily had excused herself, saying she was going to “look around the village” – found the missing Brown in pretty much the same spot we’d inadvertently left him the day before. The orc was missing, though.
“Hey, Smasher,” I said as I knelt next to the Brown. “You okay?”
Smasher opened his eyes. “Oh, Overlord,” he said. He sounded tired.
“You okay, Smasher?” I asked again. “You look exhausted.”
“… I smash,” he said slowly, grinning.
“Yeah, I remember,” I said, nodding. “Good job. Do you need healing?”
Smasher moved his hips and immediately winced. “Yes, please, Master.”
“Floom, fix him up,” I ordered. Straightening, I looked around. The Greens were already scouting the area for signs of hostiles, but it didn’t hurt to keep a lookout myself, as well. I did keep a tab on the proceedings out of the corner of my eye, though.
“What is happen to you?” Floom asked as he healed up the Brown.
Smasher’s grin only widened. “I smash.”
The other Minions exchanged puzzled looks. “What you is smash?” Slasher asked.
“Orcs,” Smasher said gleefully. “Many, many orcs.”
“Sorry we weren’t here to help out,” I said without turning. So more orcs showed up after we left, huh? But where were the corpses? Did Smasher get knocked unconscious and left for dead?
“Is no problem, Overlord,” the Brown replied cordially. Well, he was really proving himself to be the bigger man here, wasn’t he? I should get him something nice, to show he’s appreciated. Maybe some knuckledusters, so he could smash things even if he drops his mace?
“Well, as soon as you’re healed up, we’re heading back to the village. One of the locals agreed to show us to an area where there’s plenty of Fire Drakes.”
“Okies, Overlord.”
“So these are Fire Drakes, huh?” I asked as I beheld the two creatures before me. Just like their sketched pictures in the Belzerg Monster Manual (5th edition), they looked like Komodo dragons… only bigger than horses and with bright red scales covering their reptilian forms.
“They are indeed. Good luck to you,” Arue said behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw her standing a ways off, Cecily next to her.
“You can do it, Overlord! Woo!” the blond Priest cheered, pumping her fist in the air and then waving it around. She had rejoined us shortly after we returned to the village. I rolled my eyes at the display and returned my attention to the Fire Drakes, which had begun circling in opposite directions, clearly intending to catch the Minions and myself in a cross-fire.
“Slasher,” I said as I watched the two fire-breathing lizards warily.
“Yes, Overlord?”
“Remember to aim for the eyes.”
The Brown blinked. “Er, okies, Overlord, but- Wheeeeeee!”
His query turned into a gleeful shout as I punted the Minion at the leftmost Fire Drake. I had learned a while back that he derived a strange joy from sailing through the air, so why not take advantage of it? Taking a homicidal Minion to the face was sure to ruin anyone’s day, especially when said Minion was armed to the teeth.
With one Fire Drake distracted by the Brown currently stabbing its eyes out while cackling maniacally, I turned to its companion. To my alarm, it had opened up its mouth and was drawing in a breath, a fiery conflagration gathering at the back of its throat.
I did the first thing that came to my mind. Raising my left arm and pointing, I shouted, “Create Water!”
A high-pressure jet of water shot from my outstretched finger, straight down the beast’s gullet. While I doubted the Basic Magic spell would be enough to put out the flames gathering inside of the Fire Drake, it did create a sudden explosion of steam, which in turn caused the monster to cough violently. On its second cough, it accidentally swallowed the ball of fire, which detonated inside its belly with a dull noise. Unlike the time I had done something similar to a One-Punch Bear, however, it didn’t seem to have much effect beyond causing the monster’s belly to expand briefly. As the Fire Drake continued coughing, I took advantage of its distraction.
“Smasher, charge! Beat that fucker to a pulp! Greens, assist!”
“For the Master!”
The three Minions let out a wordless battle cry and charged. Smasher smashed his mace into the side of the Fire Drake’s face, staggering it, while Stabby and Stabbit jumped up on its back and immediately sank their blades deep into the base of its neck.
Within moments, the beast was felled. Once I was satisfied it wouldn’t be getting back up – courtesy of Smasher’s mace coming down to crush the monster’s skull to a pulp – I turned my attention to Slasher.
The Fire Drake was bleeding profusely from numerous cuts to the face, but it was still kicking, trying vainly to hit Slasher with its fire breath. Unfortunately, the Minion was holding on to its head via a knife sticking out of its neck – how the heck was it even still alive? – and clearly had the upper hand. Frankly, it didn’t look like I would have to intervene at all.
Five seconds later, I was proven right, as Slasher drew the Unicorn Bunny horn from its resting place in one of his belts and stabbed straight down, burying the improvised weapon deep inside the Fire Drake’s skull. It let out a single, tiny jet of flame as it exhaled, then collapsed.
“Good job, everyone. See if you can get the teeth and claws out. And maybe some scales, too; we can probably sell it all in the village.” As I said this, I stepped forward and absorbed the life force orbs that popped out of the two dead Fire Drakes – red, as I’d presumed, and roughly volleyball-sized.
“That was very impressive,” Arue said as I rejoined the women. “The way you used the Fire Drake’s own fire breath against it, and then had your Minions finish it off… It speaks of both resourcefulness and tactical ability.”
“Heh, thanks,” I said, grinning. “It wasn’t that big of a deal, though; there were only two of them. If a whole bunch of ‘em showed up-”
I cut myself off as Arue pointed behind me. Turning, I saw five more of the red-scaled monsters appear from between the trees. They did not look happy.
I drew my longsword. “Right. Saves me the trouble of hunting you down. Minions…!”
We returned to the Crimson Magic Village several hours later. With no less than twelve Fire Drakes – and a single One-Punch Bear, who was a lot easier to defeat this time around – dead and my Minions loaded down with scavenged body parts, I could safely say our sojourn had been a resounding success. I was seriously contemplating leaving just as soon as I could sell everything, but Arue convinced me to stay another day, even offering to show me around the village in exchange for helping her with her writing.
Really, she was so much more helpful and pleasant to talk to than some other women I could name… Seriously, why did the first woman to show any romantic interest in me in this world have to be a fucking gold digger?! Why couldn’t I ever attract the attention of a nice, down-to-Earth girl who liked me for me?
“Atchoo!”
“Are you okay, Luna? You’re not coming down with something, are you?”
“I hope not! I have far too much work to do to get sick.”
“I hear ya.”
“I wonder what he’s doing…”
“Hmm? Did you say something?”
“Nothing!”
Unfortunately, it didn’t seem I had much more luck with women in this world than the last one. Nothing but gold diggers and the mentally unstable… Oh, well, a man could dream.
“Say, Arue, do you know anyplace I could sell all this stuff?” I asked, gesturing to the Minions’ cargo.
The Crimson Magic Village’s number one writer nodded. “This village has several magic item craftsmen, and monster parts are important crafting ingredients. You might be able to sell parts for a good price to the individual craftsmen, but I think it would be easier if you just sold it all to the general store. You won’t get quite as good a price, but it’ll let you sell it all at once.”
“Sounds good to me. Where to?”
“Follow me.”
As I followed Arue down the street, the Minions in tow, I couldn’t help but feel as if we were being watched. Glancing around, I soon spotted three faces peeking out from behind a building. While I couldn’t say for sure from this distance, I was fairly certain it was the same trio of girls from the other night. Why, though?
“Hey, Arue,” I said, “do you know why those three are following us?”
Arue looked back at me. “Who?”
“I think it’s those three girls we saw yesterday,” I clarified. “The Donkey Kong triplets.”
She blinked. “What?”
“Never mind. It’s probably not important, anyway… Just feels a bit weird.”
Arue regarded me quietly for a moment as we walked. “… If you’re talking about Nerimaki, Funifura and Dodonko, I imagine it’s because they’re curious. We don’t get many visitors here.”
“Yeah, I gathered as much the other day. Isn’t that a problem? I mean, you can’t do much trade.”
She shrugged. “It’s true we don’t get any caravans up here,” she said, “but we have several Arch-wizards who’ve set up teleport points in Arcanletia. They go there once a month to buy and sell wares.”
I blinked. “Oh, really? That’s convenient.” And surprisingly practical, given these people’s “tendencies”…
“Ah, there’s the general store,” Arue said suddenly, pointing to a two-story building not far-off.
“Perfect. Let’s sell this stuff and then you can show me around.”
“I’ll be happy to. Shouldn’t we wait for Cecily, though?”
“Hell, no. She ran off on her own, she can stay on her own, as far as I’m concerned.”
“You two have a very strange relationship.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
A short while later, we were wandering around the Crimson Magic Village, starting at the gate and working our way through the village.
“This here is no mere griffin statue. In reality, it’s a griffin that was struck by petrification magic and then put on a pedestal to serve as a warning to other monsters.”
“Wait, seriously? Wow. Hey, what’s that building over there?”
“Over there is the Monster Museum. It’s where you can read up on the biology of various monsters as well as see examples of various monster parts and their uses. There’s even several stuffed monsters.”
“Ohhh, I gotta see that before I leave! What’s next?”
“This is the Deadly Poison Café.”
“’Deadly...’ Really? That’s not a name to attract customers, is it?”
“The owner thought it sounded cool.”
“Of course he did… What’s that building next to it?”
“That’s the Goblin Slayer armor shop.”
“… You’re kidding me.”
“Why would I joke about a name?”
“No, never mind. Let’s just continue on.”
“This is the Public Bathhouse.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Maybe I’ll visit before I leave. Hey, do you have a sauna?”
“… I don’t know what that is.”
“Dang.”
“This is the Cat-Ears Shrine.”
“Yeah, the, uh, giant cat ears on the roof kinda gave it away. And… is that a neko girl doll in there?”
“I don’t know what ‘neko’ means, but the doll was gifted to our village by a traveler after he was saved from monsters. He said it was his most prized possession.”
Yeah… Definitely another reincarnator. Probably Japanese, if the doll’s swimsuit is any indication… This village sure has some weird tourist attractions.
“This is a holy sword,” Arue said at our next stop: a large stone at the side of the road, with a sword stuck in it. “It is said that whoever manages to draw the sword from its resting place will receive a great power…!”
“…”
“What’s the matter?” Arue asked, giving me a quizzical look.
“… That’s very clearly the Master Sword.”
“The what?”
I stared at the sword sticking out of the stone. No matter how you looked at it, it was a dead ringer for the Master Sword, from the Zelda games. The long, shiny blade, the royal blue hilt and the vaguely wing-shaped cross-guard… No, hang on. The blade was straight – didn’t the Master Sword have a bulge in it, near the hilt? Also, this sword didn’t have the Tri-force emblazoned on it anywhere that I could see. And the cross-guard was actually a golden yellow, not blue like the handle. It might have had a slightly longer hilt, as well, as this was clearly a longsword, and I only remembered Link wielding the Master Sword one-handed.
So it was a fake, then. Did a reincarnator come here with the ability to create powerful magic items and try to make a copy from memory?
“Ah, welcome, welcome!”
“Eh?”
I turned as a muscular, middle-aged man appeared from behind a nearby tree. He wore a simple tunic and apron, very unlike the rest of the villagers, who all seemed to favor wizard’s robes. He was rubbing his hands together as he smiled at me.
“Would you like the chance to draw the holy sword, good sir? Why, just for today, you could have the chance to earn this mythical blade, and all for the low, low price of 1,000 eris!”
Ah, so it was a scam. Figures. Still… I focused on my magic senses, just to make sure, and found that the sword was indeed radiating powerful magic. In addition, there appeared to be a secondary effect of some kind, wreathing itself around the blade and even the stone. A seal?
A thought occurred to me, then. I turned to the man, all smiles. “Sure, I’d like to try.”
“Thank you, thank you!” the man said as he happily accepted payment. “Please, step right up and give it your best, sir!”
“Oh, I will,” I said, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. I stepped onto the stone and gripped the sword’s hilt with both hands. I could feel the magic flowing between my fingers. I took a deep breath, then quietly whispered, “Evil Presence.”
“Go for it, Master!” “You is can do it!” “Woooo!”
Weeks ago, when I first “acquired” the Dark Castle, I had fought a bunch of undead for it, and their leader had carried a powerful magical artifact around his neck. The artifact had a curse on it… A curse I broke with the power of the Gauntlet. The magic of the curse had been wreathed around the artifact and drawn its power from it, much like the magic currently wreathing itself around the sword and the stone. Logically, there was a chance I could use the same method, here.
As I exerted power through the Gauntlet, tendrils of magic began appearing all along the length of the blade. The tendrils turned into arcs of lightning as the magics fought against each other. Gritting my teeth, I poured more power into it… and then, I felt the magic binding the sword to the stone begin to fray, like the threads of a tapestry. I just… had to… tug… there!
With a victorious roar, I pulled with all my might. There was a metallic shing as the blade tore itself free of the stone, and I very nearly lost my balance with the sudden shift of momentum. I stepped down from the stone and turned, taking a moment to bleed off the gathered momentum before I raised the sword up and swung it experimentally several times. I then put the blade on the edge of my finger to find the balance point.
“Good grip,” I said to no one. “A bit lighter than I’m used to, but perfectly balanced for slashing. Let’s see how she sings.”
I switched my grip around, holding the sword up by the hilt between my thumb and forefinger, the blade pointing down. I took a moment to calm myself, then rapped the blade with my other hand.
The sword sang beautifully. One node was located near the tip, the other in the hilt, right below the cross-guard. Perfection.
“This is probably the best sword I’ve ever had, actually,” I said quietly. Then I smiled. “Thanks!”
The would-be scam artist who’d taken my money was sitting on his ass on the ground, face pale and trembling. “B-b-but… that sword was sealed…”
“Indeed,” Arue agreed solemnly. “It was enchanted to be sealed within the stone until the 10,000th attempt. And yet, less than a hundred people have risen to the challenge.”
“I guess that means the sword chose me, then,” I said, trying and failing to hide the smug grin on my face.
“Yes!” Arue exclaimed, her eye shining crimson. “Forsooth, you are the chosen wielder of the holy sword! There is no other explanation for the seal failing so early! Now, you must go forth and wield it against the forces of darkness, save the world from ruin, and-”
“Okay, let’s not get carried away,” I interrupted her. I rested the blade against my shoulder and turned to the scam artist. “So, 1,000 eris times 10,000 tries, huh? That’s quite a tidy sum you would’ve made if I hadn’t come along. Too bad for you.”
The man groaned miserably as the Minions laughed and pointed at him.
“So, Arue,” I said, turning back to my guide. “What’s next on the tour?”
“This is the Wishing Pond. It is said since ancient times that if you throw in an ax or a coin you have a chance of summoning the goddess of riches to reward you.”
“Looks like an ordinary pond, to me. Well, aside from the fountain. That’s pretty neat. Why an ax, though…?”
“No one knows. It’s very popular, however. If the blacksmith didn’t routinely dredge the pond, it would be nothing but a pile of metal.”
“… Uh-huh…”
“This is an ancient underground facility that is said to be home to a weapon capable of destroying the world,” Arue said as we stopped outside of what looked like the door to a bomb shelter.
I said as much. “Seriously? It looks kinda like a bomb shelter if you ask me.”
The Crimson Magic Clanner gave me a puzzled look. “What’s a bomb shelter?”
“Never mind. Why’s there a factory over there?”
“Fac… to… reeh?”
I gestured toward the big, concrete building. “That thing. It’s clearly a factory of some sort. What’s that about?”
“Oh, the mysterious facility… No one knows who built it, or why. The inside is mostly empty.”
“Huh. Probably built by some reincarnator, back in the day… You have a lot of weird stuff in your village. So what’s next?”
Arue hummed thoughtfully. “We’ve seen pretty much everything in the village… There’s still a few more tourist spots, but they’re a ways outside the bounds of the village itself. See those mountains? We have several-”
“Yeah, there’s no way we’re making it there and back before dark. We’ll just skip ‘em… Thanks for the tour!”
“You’re welcome, oh, Overlord,” Arue said solemnly, making a show of giving me a deep bow.
“… Please don’t,” I said.
“You have a unique class,” she said. “What’s wrong with drawing attention to it? You should be proud of it.”
I sighed. I’d told Arue about the whole thing after she heard Cecily refer to me as “Overlord” before. As expected, she’s been absolutely thrilled about it, especially the part about the Gauntlet. “That’s not the point. Just… Ah, never mind. Can we go back to the bar, now? I wanna get something to eat and go to sleep. I should probably look for Cecily, too…”
“As you wish.”
The next day, it was finally time to leave the Crimson Magic Village behind. The two days I’d spent here had been very productive, to say the least – I’d gotten the red life force I’d wanted, I’d gained a lot of XP, a decent amount of cash from selling monster parts, and I even netted myself a magic sword!
… I never did find Cecily, though, which was weird, but at the very least she stumbled down the stairs this morning after I sent some of the Minions to knock on her door. She was bleary-eyed and clearly hadn’t slept much.
“Why are we up this early?” she asked drearily.
“Because we’re leaving. Why else?”
“The sun’s barely up.”
“Exactly; we want to cover as much ground as possible. Or do you prefer taking it slow and running into a bunch more monsters on the way?”
“… Fine.”
We left the bar after breakfast. To my mild surprise, Arue was waiting for us by the griffin “statue”.
“Hey, good morning,” I greeted her, giving the Crimson Magic Clanner a warm smile. “It’s been fun. Thanks for helping me out while I was here.”
“The pleasure is mine, Overlord,” she said, her eye shining.
“… Really?” I asked in a deadpan.
She smiled impishly and turned to Cecily. “Cecily-”
“I’m going to miss you so much!” the blond Priest exclaimed and hugged Arue’s head to her chest. “Promise Big Sis Cecily you’ll be a good girl, okay?”
“You barely interacted with her, though,” I muttered, shaking my head.
Eventually, Arue was able to extract herself from Cecily’s grip. “A-anyway, good luck to you both,” she said, clearly shaken by Cecily’s goodbye. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to me. “I will always remember the lessons you’ve taught me, Teacher.”
“Ah… ‘teacher’ is a bit-”
“I foresee great things in your future, Overlord,” Arue said dramatically, interrupting me. “I have no doubt news of your deeds will reach even to the Crimson Magic Village.”
“Well, we’ll see,” I said noncommittally. “Time will tell.”
“Time will tell, indeed,” Arue agreed, nodding. Then she smiled. “Goodbye.”
I returned the smile. “Goodbye, Arue. Keep on writing.”
“I will.”
With that, we left the Crimson Magic Village behind.
As she watched Jason, Cecily and the Minions go, Arue opened up her notebook and continued writing.
“‘And so, the Overlord left the Crimson Magic Village behind to continue pursuing his life’s ambition: to conquer the world…’”
Closing the notebook, Arue turned around... to come face-to-face with Nerimaki, Dodonko and Funifura.
“Oh, good morning.”
“““Tell us everything!”””
End Chapter Sixteen
Chapter 17: It's Gettin' Hot In Here
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Blessings To This Wonderful Overlord!
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Author’s Notes: A little shorter this time, but since you got it earlier than usual, you don’t get to complain
Chapter Seventeen: It’s Gettin’ Hot In Here
The trip back to Arcanletia went off without a hitch. Sure, we ran into some monsters here and there, but nothing we couldn’t handle. Most important of all, we didn’t run into any orcs.
We passed Noodle’s inn on the way, or what remained of it; it was nothing but a pile of ash and charred wood. Noodle himself was nowhere to be seen.
Indeed, the trip was largely uneventful. Except…
“Dink dink.”
“Dink dink.”
“Dink dink. Dink dink dink dink dink dink. Dink dink. Dink dink dink dink dink dink. Dink dink-”
Someone please kill me!
Fortunately, we reached the city before the Minions’ singing could drive me insane.
You can’t become what you already are.
“Shut up, brain, nobody asked you.”
“Did you say something?” Cecily asked, giving me a puzzled look.
“Nope. Anyway, it’s been nice traveling with you, but we have to be going. Who knows, maybe we’ll run into each other sometime in the future? See you around.”
I turned to leave, but before I could get more than two steps I felt hands close around my wrist.
Dammit.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Cecily asked sweetly. There was no dangerous undertone to it or anything, and for all intents and purposes it sounded like she was just being nice and sincere. The way it contrasted with the steel in her grip spoke volumes of her acting ability.
“Why, to hop on a carriage, of course,” I answered without turning around. “What else?”
“There are no carriages leaving at this time of night,” Cecily said in that same, sweet tone.
I looked up at the sky. Indeed, it looked to be well past the time the carriage driver had always stopped to make camp on the way from Axel to Arcanletia; it was highly unlikely there’d be any regular carriages leaving at this time. I smacked my lips, sighed, and turned to face the Priest.
“Fine, I guess I won’t be leaving until tomorrow,” I said reluctantly. The beaming expression on Cecily’s face would have made my heart flutter if I’d seen it on someone like Wiz, but in this situation it filled me with a sense of wariness.
Despite what some people claimed, context was everything.
“Great! Oh, but you don’t have a place to stay, do you? Not to worry, you can stay in my room at the Axis Church. We can even share a bed~!”
I shot her a deadpan look. Her acting ability was terrifying. If I didn’t already know she was a gold digger, I might’ve actually gone along with it, thinking she was genuinely interested in me.
“Yeah… I think I’m just gonna find a hotel,” I said and began to pull my arm away.
“You’ll have a hard time finding a room,” Cecily said, reaffirming her grip on my wrist.
I took a step back. “I don’t think so. I saw plenty of hotels last time I was-”
Cecily stepped after me. “No hotel’s going to accept the Minions.”
I paused. Back in Axel, I’d faced that exact problem, and eventually ended up having to sleep in a stable. Somehow, I didn’t think a resort town like Arcanletia had many stables to rent out for down-on-their-luck adventurers.
“… That luxury hotel didn’t seem to mind…”
Cecily shook her head. “That was before. I heard from the owner before we left that they’re having problems getting rid of the smell.”
I pressed my lips together. She might be lying, but then Luna said something similar about our table at the Guild, so it was definitely believable. If not even that overpriced hotel would take us…
I can’t believe I’m doing this…
“… Fine. We’ll stay at the Axis Church.”
Cecily released her grip on my wrist and clapped her hands excitedly. “Yay~!”
“Ah, you’ve returned, Cecily! I trust your trip was productive?” Zesta asked as we entered the Axis Church. I was looking around warily, ready for an ambush by zealous recruiters. “And young Jason, as well! Did you have fun?”
At the question, Zesta lightly elbowed me in the ribs while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, his eyes flitting in Cecily’s direction. The Priest, for her part, hid her face in her hands and let out a very girly squeal, like a school girl who just got found out by her friends that she had a crush on someone.
My eye twitched. Turning my attention back to Zesta, I said, “Definitely not in the way you’re thinking.”
“Oh? That’s too bad. Do you require some… advice? I may be an old man, but I have plenty of-”
“No, thank you!” I said quickly and firmly. The last thing I needed was romantic advice – or what passed for it in Zesta’s mind – from an old Arch-priest who spent his days chasing after girls a quarter his own age.
The old man stroked his beard. “Hoh… Shy, are you? Listen to me, you must be bold if you’re going to-”
“I said, ‘no thanks’,” I repeated, my eyes narrowed. “I only came here because it’s late and I need a place to sleep. Cecily… ‘offered’ to let me sleep here.”
Zesta’s eyes widened slightly at that. He looked over at Cecily, who let out another squeal and looked away. He turned back to me. “Well, well, well… You’re bolder than I thought. Perhaps you don’t need this old man’s advice, after all.”
I was pretty sure my eye was visibly twitching, at this point. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. Just give me and the Minions a room to sleep in and I’ll be out of your hair by morning.”
“What? No! You have to sleep in my room!” Cecily interjected, her previous “embarrassment” suddenly forgotten. She stepped closer and looked up at me, her eyes shimmering as she clasped her hands together and leaned into my chest. “You’ll stay with me… won’t you?”
“Uh…” Don’t be taken in by her act, you fool! I cleared my throat. “Does that include the Minions?”
Cecily blinked and looked to the side, at the Minions. Some of them grinned and waved. She looked back at me. “Um…”
“Well, that’s too bad. Guess you gotta find us a room after all, Zesta.”
“W-wait!” Cecily interjected. “Can’t we talk about this?”
“Sorry, the Minions and I are a packaged deal,” I said resolutely, crossing my arms over my chest.
Cecily bit her lip cutely.
“… W-we’re a packaged deal,” I repeated, though in truth I wasn’t entirely sure if I was talking to Cecily or myself.
“… Really?”
“Really.”
“Really, really?”
“… Just give up already,” I forced out while doing my best not to look her in the eye. Seriously, if Cecily suddenly showed up on Earth, she’d make it in Hollywood without even trying. She was like the cute female protagonist in a romantic comedy that didn’t suck!
Cecily hung her head. “I… I see. You hate me.”
I quirked an eyebrow at that. So she was switching tactics, now? Fortunately, I was far more resistant to guilt-tripping than I was begging, as I had learned through painful experience that guilt-tripping was pretty much exclusively used by scammers, and thus could be ignored without tripping up my conscience. Usually, anyway. “Oh, please. Guilt-tripping doesn’t work on me.”
Cecily murmured something under her breath, then switched tactics yet again. Snaking one arm around my neck, she pressed herself up against me – very deliberately pushing up her not-inconsiderable bust – and made the fingers of her other hand wander up my chest. She looked up at me, batting her eyelashes as she did so. “Are you sure…? We could… play together…”
“P-play?” I swallowed. “Play what?”
The blond Priest fixed me with her gaze. “Anything you want to.”
Suddenly, I was acutely aware of how… attractive Cecily was, and that I hadn’t had sex in… how long? It felt like forever. I drew in a breath and pushed her away, all the while a part of me was yelling at me for being an idiot.
Damn it, why’d she have to be a gold digger?!
“Thanks, but no. I… I’ll just sleep, thank you. I’m tired. Very, very… tired.”
I can’t sleep!
Hours later, and I was still lying awake in my bed, staring up at the ceiling.
I sighed.
My mind’s telling me “no”… but my body… my body’s telling me “yes”!
… Fucking hell I hated that song at that moment!
Letting out an exasperated groan, I sat up in bed and looked around. The Minions were scattered around the room – stone cell, was more like it – all soundly asleep. Lucky, brainless fools!
I got out of bed and put on my pants and tunic. I needed to use the bathroom. For… reasons. Yeah.
Taking care not to wake anyone, I slipped out of the room. The corridor outside, like the room itself, was dark, but with the Gauntlet on, I had no trouble seeing everything with perfect clarity, if a bit lacking in coloration. The dark looked so damn gloomy, like this.
Shaking my head, I went off in search of the bathroom. I remembered one of the Priests pointing it out on the way to the room, but where was it, again?
A few minutes later, I heard a sudden creak of wood and almost instinctively ducked back behind the corner I’d just passed. There, further on, the corridor was illuminated by light from a halfway open door. I heard someone conversing, though I couldn’t quite make out the words. After a moment, two Priests exited the room and closed the door. One of them carried one of those handheld candle holders, while the other struggled with a big pile of paper. I watched as they made their way down the corridor and then, once they’d passed around the corner, I quietly walked up to the door they’d come through.
I was probably breaching all sorts of protocol, but frankly, I didn’t care. I turned the handle, opened the door, and slipped inside.
There were boxes in here. Lots of them. A few were open, and contained… papers? I reached down and picked one up. It was a bit difficult to read, what with the lack of contrast with my peculiar type of dark vision, but I recognized it immediately anyway.
An Axis Church registration form.
I blinked and flitted through the papers in the box. Yup, each and every one was a registration form. I checked the next box. Same thing. On a whim, I forced open a third box, and just as I’d suspected, it, too, was filled with the accursed forms.
I did a quick estimate of the number of papers in the box, then counted the number of boxes. If they all contained the same thing, then…
There’s over fifty thousand registration forms in here?!
My mind reeled. No wonder they were passing them out like… like… Actually, I couldn’t think of anything. I would’ve said “candy”, but I’d never heard of anyone passing out free candy the way these people passed out registration forms, not even during Halloween, my favorite holiday.
… What? I liked dressing up and terrifying the trick-or-treaters, so sue me. I always gave them candy, afterwards, anyway. I was probably the most generous candy-giver in the whole of my home town!
Shaking myself, I returned to the present, and the multitude of boxes in front of me. Fifty thousand forms…
Slowly, my lips parted into an evil grin as a plan formed in my mind.
Hours later, the Minions and I were sitting inside the morning carriage to Axel, waiting. I was feeling a bit antsy as I waited there; my plan hinged on us getting out of the city as soon as possible.
The door to the carriage opened and Stabbit scurried inside.
“It is done?” I asked him.
The Minion nodded. “It are done, Overlord.”
“Excellent.”
I banged my fist twice against the ceiling. Immediately, I heard the whip of the driver’s reins and we were off.
Naturally, we’d left the Axis Church early enough that Cecily was still sleeping, and incapable of trying to worm her way into coming along. Of course, if she knew what I’d done, she probably wouldn’t have wanted to, anyway.
I opened the door and stuck my head out, looking back toward Arcanletia. To my delight, there was a trail of black smoke rising from the middle of the city, both thicker and darker than those rising from the many chimneys.
Everything had gone according to plan.
“Who could have done this?!”
“I bet it was those damn Eris cultists!”
Despite the early hours – the sun was still rising over the mountains – there was a large crowd gathered in the middle of Arcanletia, clustered around the Aqua statue that decorated the central square. The statue itself was covered in graffiti, most of it unintelligible scrawls, but standing out was the twirly mustache, pipe beard and monocle on the statue’s face. There had been a top hat fastened to the statue’s head at one point, but it had already fallen into the flames.
Yes, the statue was surrounded by a virtual bonfire as tens of thousands of sheets of paper burned, along with boxes crushed into firewood and, judging by the smell and the onlookers’ inability to put out the flames, copious amounts of cooking oil.
“Oh, no! The statue’s cracking from the heat!”
“Somebody do something! Get more water!”
“Water won’t work! It’s covered in oil!”
“Lady Aquuuuuaaaaaaaa…!”
… I’m pretty sure I giggled myself to sleep.
When I awoke, hours later, it was to the sound of the driver’s fist beating against the top of the carriage.
“Uh? Wha?” I asked intelligently. Blinking, I wiped away some drool from my chin and looked around. “What’s going on?”
“Goblins, sir,” I heard the driver say fearfully. “We’re surrounded!”
“Surrounded…?” I asked, my mind still lagging behind. Once his words registered, I bolted upright, completely awake. “Did you say goblins?!”
Before he or the Minions could reply or even react, I kicked open the carriage door.
“Aha! You’ve walked right into my tra-”
The door slammed closed, then, after bouncing on its hinges. I opened it again while muttering, making sure to use less force the second time around. I jumped out of the carriage and, just as the driver had said, we were surrounded by goblins, all of them wielding primitive-looking bows and spears, and perhaps a knife or two. The closest ones stepped back, watching me warily, clutching their weapons. They opened their mouths to speak, but I beat them to it.
“Mwahahaha! Goblins! Come to me, my pretties! Evil Presence!”
“Sir, I am very much not okay with this!” the driver complained loudly once we were off again.
“Oh, you’ll be fine. They’re harmless,” I returned from inside the carriage.
“The one with the mask keeps leering at me!”
“He’s just being friendly,” I said soothingly.
“He’s sharpening his knives!”
“Don’t worry, he has strict orders not to kill you,” I said dismissively. Turning my attention back to the other passengers inside the carriage, I grinned. “So, what’re your names?”
The Reds looked much the same as the rest of the Minions – like a cross between goblins and Gremlins – except their skin was bright red, they each had ram-like horns on either side of their head above their ears, and they had a long tail, similar to the Blues, only rather than smoothly reptilian it looked more like a stereotypical devil’s tail, complete with spikes on either side, near the middle.
“I is Ash, Overlord,” one of the new Reds said.
“I are Char,” the one next to him chimed in.
I blinked. “Ash and Char? Really?”
They nodded.
“… Damn it, now I gotta get you a white helmet and a red baseball cap,” I muttered, not entirely unhappily. Do they even make those in this world? I could probably ask Edward for the helmet…
I listened with half an ear as the rest of the Reds introduced themselves, stating names like “Burns”, “Cinders”, and the like. All in all, I had ten new Minions, all of them Red, and all of them riding inside the very cramped carriage where I could keep an eye on them, while all my older Minions rode on top, to the driver’s distress.
Setting aside some minor bumps in the road, this trip had been incredibly rewarding.
That night, after we set up camp, I had the Reds demonstrate their abilities. I had them fling fireballs – much weaker than my own, mind you – at each other, setting off and putting out fires, and the like. I will tell you this, seeing the Reds gather around a campfire and inhale the flames, causing them to wink out, was a pretty trippy thing.
It was pretty cool – or should I say, “hot”? – to see their eyes glowing at night. The other Minions’ eyes reflected light somewhat, similar to cats, but the Reds’ eyes glowed with an inner light no matter how dark it got. It wasn’t as intense as my own eyes when I got upset, but it was still cool to see. It also made them terrible nighttime scouts, but then, I had the Greens for that.
… Speaking of the Greens, unlike the other Minions, they appeared just as capable of seeing in complete darkness as I was, contrary to my earlier assumptions. Did I mention that? I felt like I forgot to mention that. My bad.
… My very, very bad…
Anyway, the first night came and went without any problems. Well, unless you counted the driver recounting his woes from having the other Minions keep him company during the day.
Which I didn’t, so there you go.
The next day something interesting happened. We were nearing the edge of the prairie-like stretch of land that separated Arcanletia from the grasslands and forests of the rest of Belzerg when the driver unexpectedly pulled on his reins and the carriage slowed to a stop.
“Eh? What’s going on?” I asked. I’d been dozing off again, having spent much of the night awake with the Reds. Then I perked up. “Is it more goblins?!”
“No, it’s not goblins this time,” I heard the driver answer, then mutter, “Fucking unnatural, I tell you…”
“What is it, then? Bandits?”
“Nothing of the sort. Look out the window.”
I did. There, not far off, I saw what looked like a cloud of smoke which I quickly realized was dust kicked up from the prairie. But by what? I opened the door and squinted as I stuck my head out. Were those… ostriches?
“Those are Dashing Hawkites,” the driver explained. “It’s nearing the end of their mating season, so we’re very lucky to see it in action.”
“Mating season?” I asked, twisting around to look up at the driver.
The man nodded. “Oh, yes. In order to impress the females, the males rush at the hardest object they can find and jump out of the way at the last second. It’s called a chicken race.”
I gave the man a searching look, but finding no hint of deceit, I turned back to watch the approaching dust cloud. That was a really weird mating ritual, if you asked me. Then again, humans had been known to do the exact same thing with cars and motorcycles, so… “They seem to be heading this way.”
“They’re probably aiming for those rocks over there,” the driver said, gesturing in the direction of a big pile of boulders not far from the road. There was a good dozen of the things, some of them lying stacked on top of each other while others lay to the side of the main pile. If the Dashing Hawkites did indeed aim for hard objects for their mating ritual, they would be hard-pressed (get it?) to find anything better around here.
We waited. Before long, the ostri- er, Dashing Hawkites, came close enough that I could make out their individual features. While they did indeed greatly resemble ostriches, their heads and beaks were more akin to those of a hawk or eagle, which likely had something to do with their name. And judging from those legs, they could probably jump and kick something fierce, too. Hell, they could probably just trample most enemies, especially traveling in a herd… flock?… like that.
As I watched, the Dashing Hawkites – No, you know what? That’s a stupid long name. I’m just gonna call them “Hawkites” from now on – dashed toward the pile of boulders. One by one, they leapt aside or over, always at the last second. It was actually kind of impressive, in a harebrained kinda way.
And then one of them tripped. The other Hawkites, unable to alter their course in time, trampled their unfortunate brother, but in doing so several more of them tripped, and before long there was a veritable pile-up of dead and wounded Hawkites in front of the biggest pile of boulders. The survivors continued on as if nothing had happened, and were soon nothing but a cloud of dust on the horizon.
“Oh, that’s unfortunate,” the driver said, wincing. “It’s rare, but accidents like this do happen. Guess we’re gonna have fewer young Hawkites next year.”
For my part, I couldn’t stop staring. It was like one of those ridiculously exaggerated car pile-ups you saw in action movies, except instead of screeching metal and tires it was the screeching of wounded, probably dying, birds. And boy, they were loud.
I’m not sure why, but I exited the carriage. Maybe I wanted to put an end to their suffering, maybe I just wanted a closer look. Either way, I walked silently toward the screeching creatures, only to stop a couple meters away. What should I do? The birds were threshing about wildly, obviously in great pain. Should I just Fireball them into oblivion?
A sudden inspiration struck me, then. They were already dead, anyway, so… I raised my left hand at the nearest Hawkite.
“Evil Presence,” I murmured. A ghostly appendage whipped its way from the Gauntlet to bird, and it went rigid as I held its mind in a vise. As always, I felt it as if it was in the palm of my hand, and just like the minds of goblins, it was small and fragile.
I crushed it. As I did so, however, I willed a bit of life force into the bird and began the change. In theory, there was nothing saying I couldn’t do the same thing to other creatures as I did to goblins. I just needed to figure out the right-
There was a splorch as the bird exploded, feathers and pieces of flesh flying everywhere, along with copious amounts of blood.
… Okay, not Green, then, I mused. I pointed my hand at myself and said, “Create Water.”
After thoroughly hosing myself down – I would dry quickly in the heat and sunshine of the prairie, anyway – I turned my attention back to the Hawkites. I raised my left hand at the nearest one still kicking.
“Evil Presence.”
This time, I used a different color of life force. To my quiet delight, this time the bird didn’t explode, but instead morphed and changed, its broken bones and ruptured organs healing as it did. It grew slightly in height, but more telling than that, its neck shortened and its body widened, becoming more muscular than before. Its coloration changed, too.
Once the transformation was complete, the creature turned to me, flapped its wings once, and let out a single sound.
“Kweh!”
End Chapter Seventeen
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Author’s Notes: A little shorter this time, but since you got it earlier than usual, you don’t get to complain
Chapter Seventeen: It’s Gettin’ Hot In Here
The trip back to Arcanletia went off without a hitch. Sure, we ran into some monsters here and there, but nothing we couldn’t handle. Most important of all, we didn’t run into any orcs.
We passed Noodle’s inn on the way, or what remained of it; it was nothing but a pile of ash and charred wood. Noodle himself was nowhere to be seen.
Indeed, the trip was largely uneventful. Except…
“Dink dink.”
“Dink dink.”
“Dink dink. Dink dink dink dink dink dink. Dink dink. Dink dink dink dink dink dink. Dink dink-”
Someone please kill me!
Fortunately, we reached the city before the Minions’ singing could drive me insane.
You can’t become what you already are.
“Shut up, brain, nobody asked you.”
“Did you say something?” Cecily asked, giving me a puzzled look.
“Nope. Anyway, it’s been nice traveling with you, but we have to be going. Who knows, maybe we’ll run into each other sometime in the future? See you around.”
I turned to leave, but before I could get more than two steps I felt hands close around my wrist.
Dammit.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Cecily asked sweetly. There was no dangerous undertone to it or anything, and for all intents and purposes it sounded like she was just being nice and sincere. The way it contrasted with the steel in her grip spoke volumes of her acting ability.
“Why, to hop on a carriage, of course,” I answered without turning around. “What else?”
“There are no carriages leaving at this time of night,” Cecily said in that same, sweet tone.
I looked up at the sky. Indeed, it looked to be well past the time the carriage driver had always stopped to make camp on the way from Axel to Arcanletia; it was highly unlikely there’d be any regular carriages leaving at this time. I smacked my lips, sighed, and turned to face the Priest.
“Fine, I guess I won’t be leaving until tomorrow,” I said reluctantly. The beaming expression on Cecily’s face would have made my heart flutter if I’d seen it on someone like Wiz, but in this situation it filled me with a sense of wariness.
Despite what some people claimed, context was everything.
“Great! Oh, but you don’t have a place to stay, do you? Not to worry, you can stay in my room at the Axis Church. We can even share a bed~!”
I shot her a deadpan look. Her acting ability was terrifying. If I didn’t already know she was a gold digger, I might’ve actually gone along with it, thinking she was genuinely interested in me.
“Yeah… I think I’m just gonna find a hotel,” I said and began to pull my arm away.
“You’ll have a hard time finding a room,” Cecily said, reaffirming her grip on my wrist.
I took a step back. “I don’t think so. I saw plenty of hotels last time I was-”
Cecily stepped after me. “No hotel’s going to accept the Minions.”
I paused. Back in Axel, I’d faced that exact problem, and eventually ended up having to sleep in a stable. Somehow, I didn’t think a resort town like Arcanletia had many stables to rent out for down-on-their-luck adventurers.
“… That luxury hotel didn’t seem to mind…”
Cecily shook her head. “That was before. I heard from the owner before we left that they’re having problems getting rid of the smell.”
I pressed my lips together. She might be lying, but then Luna said something similar about our table at the Guild, so it was definitely believable. If not even that overpriced hotel would take us…
I can’t believe I’m doing this…
“… Fine. We’ll stay at the Axis Church.”
Cecily released her grip on my wrist and clapped her hands excitedly. “Yay~!”
“Ah, you’ve returned, Cecily! I trust your trip was productive?” Zesta asked as we entered the Axis Church. I was looking around warily, ready for an ambush by zealous recruiters. “And young Jason, as well! Did you have fun?”
At the question, Zesta lightly elbowed me in the ribs while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, his eyes flitting in Cecily’s direction. The Priest, for her part, hid her face in her hands and let out a very girly squeal, like a school girl who just got found out by her friends that she had a crush on someone.
My eye twitched. Turning my attention back to Zesta, I said, “Definitely not in the way you’re thinking.”
“Oh? That’s too bad. Do you require some… advice? I may be an old man, but I have plenty of-”
“No, thank you!” I said quickly and firmly. The last thing I needed was romantic advice – or what passed for it in Zesta’s mind – from an old Arch-priest who spent his days chasing after girls a quarter his own age.
The old man stroked his beard. “Hoh… Shy, are you? Listen to me, you must be bold if you’re going to-”
“I said, ‘no thanks’,” I repeated, my eyes narrowed. “I only came here because it’s late and I need a place to sleep. Cecily… ‘offered’ to let me sleep here.”
Zesta’s eyes widened slightly at that. He looked over at Cecily, who let out another squeal and looked away. He turned back to me. “Well, well, well… You’re bolder than I thought. Perhaps you don’t need this old man’s advice, after all.”
I was pretty sure my eye was visibly twitching, at this point. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. Just give me and the Minions a room to sleep in and I’ll be out of your hair by morning.”
“What? No! You have to sleep in my room!” Cecily interjected, her previous “embarrassment” suddenly forgotten. She stepped closer and looked up at me, her eyes shimmering as she clasped her hands together and leaned into my chest. “You’ll stay with me… won’t you?”
“Uh…” Don’t be taken in by her act, you fool! I cleared my throat. “Does that include the Minions?”
Cecily blinked and looked to the side, at the Minions. Some of them grinned and waved. She looked back at me. “Um…”
“Well, that’s too bad. Guess you gotta find us a room after all, Zesta.”
“W-wait!” Cecily interjected. “Can’t we talk about this?”
“Sorry, the Minions and I are a packaged deal,” I said resolutely, crossing my arms over my chest.
Cecily bit her lip cutely.
“… W-we’re a packaged deal,” I repeated, though in truth I wasn’t entirely sure if I was talking to Cecily or myself.
“… Really?”
“Really.”
“Really, really?”
“… Just give up already,” I forced out while doing my best not to look her in the eye. Seriously, if Cecily suddenly showed up on Earth, she’d make it in Hollywood without even trying. She was like the cute female protagonist in a romantic comedy that didn’t suck!
Cecily hung her head. “I… I see. You hate me.”
I quirked an eyebrow at that. So she was switching tactics, now? Fortunately, I was far more resistant to guilt-tripping than I was begging, as I had learned through painful experience that guilt-tripping was pretty much exclusively used by scammers, and thus could be ignored without tripping up my conscience. Usually, anyway. “Oh, please. Guilt-tripping doesn’t work on me.”
Cecily murmured something under her breath, then switched tactics yet again. Snaking one arm around my neck, she pressed herself up against me – very deliberately pushing up her not-inconsiderable bust – and made the fingers of her other hand wander up my chest. She looked up at me, batting her eyelashes as she did so. “Are you sure…? We could… play together…”
“P-play?” I swallowed. “Play what?”
The blond Priest fixed me with her gaze. “Anything you want to.”
Suddenly, I was acutely aware of how… attractive Cecily was, and that I hadn’t had sex in… how long? It felt like forever. I drew in a breath and pushed her away, all the while a part of me was yelling at me for being an idiot.
Damn it, why’d she have to be a gold digger?!
“Thanks, but no. I… I’ll just sleep, thank you. I’m tired. Very, very… tired.”
I can’t sleep!
Hours later, and I was still lying awake in my bed, staring up at the ceiling.
I sighed.
My mind’s telling me “no”… but my body… my body’s telling me “yes”!
… Fucking hell I hated that song at that moment!
Letting out an exasperated groan, I sat up in bed and looked around. The Minions were scattered around the room – stone cell, was more like it – all soundly asleep. Lucky, brainless fools!
I got out of bed and put on my pants and tunic. I needed to use the bathroom. For… reasons. Yeah.
Taking care not to wake anyone, I slipped out of the room. The corridor outside, like the room itself, was dark, but with the Gauntlet on, I had no trouble seeing everything with perfect clarity, if a bit lacking in coloration. The dark looked so damn gloomy, like this.
Shaking my head, I went off in search of the bathroom. I remembered one of the Priests pointing it out on the way to the room, but where was it, again?
A few minutes later, I heard a sudden creak of wood and almost instinctively ducked back behind the corner I’d just passed. There, further on, the corridor was illuminated by light from a halfway open door. I heard someone conversing, though I couldn’t quite make out the words. After a moment, two Priests exited the room and closed the door. One of them carried one of those handheld candle holders, while the other struggled with a big pile of paper. I watched as they made their way down the corridor and then, once they’d passed around the corner, I quietly walked up to the door they’d come through.
I was probably breaching all sorts of protocol, but frankly, I didn’t care. I turned the handle, opened the door, and slipped inside.
There were boxes in here. Lots of them. A few were open, and contained… papers? I reached down and picked one up. It was a bit difficult to read, what with the lack of contrast with my peculiar type of dark vision, but I recognized it immediately anyway.
An Axis Church registration form.
I blinked and flitted through the papers in the box. Yup, each and every one was a registration form. I checked the next box. Same thing. On a whim, I forced open a third box, and just as I’d suspected, it, too, was filled with the accursed forms.
I did a quick estimate of the number of papers in the box, then counted the number of boxes. If they all contained the same thing, then…
There’s over fifty thousand registration forms in here?!
My mind reeled. No wonder they were passing them out like… like… Actually, I couldn’t think of anything. I would’ve said “candy”, but I’d never heard of anyone passing out free candy the way these people passed out registration forms, not even during Halloween, my favorite holiday.
… What? I liked dressing up and terrifying the trick-or-treaters, so sue me. I always gave them candy, afterwards, anyway. I was probably the most generous candy-giver in the whole of my home town!
Shaking myself, I returned to the present, and the multitude of boxes in front of me. Fifty thousand forms…
Slowly, my lips parted into an evil grin as a plan formed in my mind.
Hours later, the Minions and I were sitting inside the morning carriage to Axel, waiting. I was feeling a bit antsy as I waited there; my plan hinged on us getting out of the city as soon as possible.
The door to the carriage opened and Stabbit scurried inside.
“It is done?” I asked him.
The Minion nodded. “It are done, Overlord.”
“Excellent.”
I banged my fist twice against the ceiling. Immediately, I heard the whip of the driver’s reins and we were off.
Naturally, we’d left the Axis Church early enough that Cecily was still sleeping, and incapable of trying to worm her way into coming along. Of course, if she knew what I’d done, she probably wouldn’t have wanted to, anyway.
I opened the door and stuck my head out, looking back toward Arcanletia. To my delight, there was a trail of black smoke rising from the middle of the city, both thicker and darker than those rising from the many chimneys.
Everything had gone according to plan.
“Who could have done this?!”
“I bet it was those damn Eris cultists!”
Despite the early hours – the sun was still rising over the mountains – there was a large crowd gathered in the middle of Arcanletia, clustered around the Aqua statue that decorated the central square. The statue itself was covered in graffiti, most of it unintelligible scrawls, but standing out was the twirly mustache, pipe beard and monocle on the statue’s face. There had been a top hat fastened to the statue’s head at one point, but it had already fallen into the flames.
Yes, the statue was surrounded by a virtual bonfire as tens of thousands of sheets of paper burned, along with boxes crushed into firewood and, judging by the smell and the onlookers’ inability to put out the flames, copious amounts of cooking oil.
“Oh, no! The statue’s cracking from the heat!”
“Somebody do something! Get more water!”
“Water won’t work! It’s covered in oil!”
“Lady Aquuuuuaaaaaaaa…!”
… I’m pretty sure I giggled myself to sleep.
When I awoke, hours later, it was to the sound of the driver’s fist beating against the top of the carriage.
“Uh? Wha?” I asked intelligently. Blinking, I wiped away some drool from my chin and looked around. “What’s going on?”
“Goblins, sir,” I heard the driver say fearfully. “We’re surrounded!”
“Surrounded…?” I asked, my mind still lagging behind. Once his words registered, I bolted upright, completely awake. “Did you say goblins?!”
Before he or the Minions could reply or even react, I kicked open the carriage door.
“Aha! You’ve walked right into my tra-”
The door slammed closed, then, after bouncing on its hinges. I opened it again while muttering, making sure to use less force the second time around. I jumped out of the carriage and, just as the driver had said, we were surrounded by goblins, all of them wielding primitive-looking bows and spears, and perhaps a knife or two. The closest ones stepped back, watching me warily, clutching their weapons. They opened their mouths to speak, but I beat them to it.
“Mwahahaha! Goblins! Come to me, my pretties! Evil Presence!”
“Sir, I am very much not okay with this!” the driver complained loudly once we were off again.
“Oh, you’ll be fine. They’re harmless,” I returned from inside the carriage.
“The one with the mask keeps leering at me!”
“He’s just being friendly,” I said soothingly.
“He’s sharpening his knives!”
“Don’t worry, he has strict orders not to kill you,” I said dismissively. Turning my attention back to the other passengers inside the carriage, I grinned. “So, what’re your names?”
The Reds looked much the same as the rest of the Minions – like a cross between goblins and Gremlins – except their skin was bright red, they each had ram-like horns on either side of their head above their ears, and they had a long tail, similar to the Blues, only rather than smoothly reptilian it looked more like a stereotypical devil’s tail, complete with spikes on either side, near the middle.
“I is Ash, Overlord,” one of the new Reds said.
“I are Char,” the one next to him chimed in.
I blinked. “Ash and Char? Really?”
They nodded.
“… Damn it, now I gotta get you a white helmet and a red baseball cap,” I muttered, not entirely unhappily. Do they even make those in this world? I could probably ask Edward for the helmet…
I listened with half an ear as the rest of the Reds introduced themselves, stating names like “Burns”, “Cinders”, and the like. All in all, I had ten new Minions, all of them Red, and all of them riding inside the very cramped carriage where I could keep an eye on them, while all my older Minions rode on top, to the driver’s distress.
Setting aside some minor bumps in the road, this trip had been incredibly rewarding.
That night, after we set up camp, I had the Reds demonstrate their abilities. I had them fling fireballs – much weaker than my own, mind you – at each other, setting off and putting out fires, and the like. I will tell you this, seeing the Reds gather around a campfire and inhale the flames, causing them to wink out, was a pretty trippy thing.
It was pretty cool – or should I say, “hot”? – to see their eyes glowing at night. The other Minions’ eyes reflected light somewhat, similar to cats, but the Reds’ eyes glowed with an inner light no matter how dark it got. It wasn’t as intense as my own eyes when I got upset, but it was still cool to see. It also made them terrible nighttime scouts, but then, I had the Greens for that.
… Speaking of the Greens, unlike the other Minions, they appeared just as capable of seeing in complete darkness as I was, contrary to my earlier assumptions. Did I mention that? I felt like I forgot to mention that. My bad.
… My very, very bad…
Anyway, the first night came and went without any problems. Well, unless you counted the driver recounting his woes from having the other Minions keep him company during the day.
Which I didn’t, so there you go.
The next day something interesting happened. We were nearing the edge of the prairie-like stretch of land that separated Arcanletia from the grasslands and forests of the rest of Belzerg when the driver unexpectedly pulled on his reins and the carriage slowed to a stop.
“Eh? What’s going on?” I asked. I’d been dozing off again, having spent much of the night awake with the Reds. Then I perked up. “Is it more goblins?!”
“No, it’s not goblins this time,” I heard the driver answer, then mutter, “Fucking unnatural, I tell you…”
“What is it, then? Bandits?”
“Nothing of the sort. Look out the window.”
I did. There, not far off, I saw what looked like a cloud of smoke which I quickly realized was dust kicked up from the prairie. But by what? I opened the door and squinted as I stuck my head out. Were those… ostriches?
“Those are Dashing Hawkites,” the driver explained. “It’s nearing the end of their mating season, so we’re very lucky to see it in action.”
“Mating season?” I asked, twisting around to look up at the driver.
The man nodded. “Oh, yes. In order to impress the females, the males rush at the hardest object they can find and jump out of the way at the last second. It’s called a chicken race.”
I gave the man a searching look, but finding no hint of deceit, I turned back to watch the approaching dust cloud. That was a really weird mating ritual, if you asked me. Then again, humans had been known to do the exact same thing with cars and motorcycles, so… “They seem to be heading this way.”
“They’re probably aiming for those rocks over there,” the driver said, gesturing in the direction of a big pile of boulders not far from the road. There was a good dozen of the things, some of them lying stacked on top of each other while others lay to the side of the main pile. If the Dashing Hawkites did indeed aim for hard objects for their mating ritual, they would be hard-pressed (get it?) to find anything better around here.
We waited. Before long, the ostri- er, Dashing Hawkites, came close enough that I could make out their individual features. While they did indeed greatly resemble ostriches, their heads and beaks were more akin to those of a hawk or eagle, which likely had something to do with their name. And judging from those legs, they could probably jump and kick something fierce, too. Hell, they could probably just trample most enemies, especially traveling in a herd… flock?… like that.
As I watched, the Dashing Hawkites – No, you know what? That’s a stupid long name. I’m just gonna call them “Hawkites” from now on – dashed toward the pile of boulders. One by one, they leapt aside or over, always at the last second. It was actually kind of impressive, in a harebrained kinda way.
And then one of them tripped. The other Hawkites, unable to alter their course in time, trampled their unfortunate brother, but in doing so several more of them tripped, and before long there was a veritable pile-up of dead and wounded Hawkites in front of the biggest pile of boulders. The survivors continued on as if nothing had happened, and were soon nothing but a cloud of dust on the horizon.
“Oh, that’s unfortunate,” the driver said, wincing. “It’s rare, but accidents like this do happen. Guess we’re gonna have fewer young Hawkites next year.”
For my part, I couldn’t stop staring. It was like one of those ridiculously exaggerated car pile-ups you saw in action movies, except instead of screeching metal and tires it was the screeching of wounded, probably dying, birds. And boy, they were loud.
I’m not sure why, but I exited the carriage. Maybe I wanted to put an end to their suffering, maybe I just wanted a closer look. Either way, I walked silently toward the screeching creatures, only to stop a couple meters away. What should I do? The birds were threshing about wildly, obviously in great pain. Should I just Fireball them into oblivion?
A sudden inspiration struck me, then. They were already dead, anyway, so… I raised my left hand at the nearest Hawkite.
“Evil Presence,” I murmured. A ghostly appendage whipped its way from the Gauntlet to bird, and it went rigid as I held its mind in a vise. As always, I felt it as if it was in the palm of my hand, and just like the minds of goblins, it was small and fragile.
I crushed it. As I did so, however, I willed a bit of life force into the bird and began the change. In theory, there was nothing saying I couldn’t do the same thing to other creatures as I did to goblins. I just needed to figure out the right-
There was a splorch as the bird exploded, feathers and pieces of flesh flying everywhere, along with copious amounts of blood.
… Okay, not Green, then, I mused. I pointed my hand at myself and said, “Create Water.”
After thoroughly hosing myself down – I would dry quickly in the heat and sunshine of the prairie, anyway – I turned my attention back to the Hawkites. I raised my left hand at the nearest one still kicking.
“Evil Presence.”
This time, I used a different color of life force. To my quiet delight, this time the bird didn’t explode, but instead morphed and changed, its broken bones and ruptured organs healing as it did. It grew slightly in height, but more telling than that, its neck shortened and its body widened, becoming more muscular than before. Its coloration changed, too.
Once the transformation was complete, the creature turned to me, flapped its wings once, and let out a single sound.
“Kweh!”
End Chapter Seventeen
Chapter 18: A New Kind Of Warfare (The Bird's The Word)
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Blessings To This Wonderful Overlord!
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Author’s Notes: In celebration of the coming Summer Solstice – and because I’m gonna be too busy on the actual day – have another chapter!
Chapter Eighteen: A New Kind Of Warfare (The Bird’s The Word)
“A Chocobo? I made a fucking Chocobo?!” I asked incredulously as I stared at the bird standing before me. It looked exactly like a Chocobo straight out of Final Fantasy. Well, except for one little detail: it was red. Although, some of the games did have red Chocobos, so it wasn’t like it was all that unbeliev-
“Kweh!” the bird chirped, interrupting my train of thought… and blowing a jet of flame from its beak.
“You breathe fire, too?!” Well, I had used a red life force orb, so it made sense, but…
“Kweh!” the Chocobo (?) chirped again, its tone a happy one. Then it adopted a wide-legged stance and spat a ball of fire the size of my head that sailed a good twenty meters before it impacted the ground and exploded. The explosion wasn’t all that impressive, to tell the truth, but the simple fact that it had that capability in the first place was something else.
“… Okay, so you’re not a regular Chocobo,” I said slowly once I got my jaw working again. I regarded the creature before me, who appeared busy preening at my indirect praise. What should I call it? A Fire Chocobo? No, too in-your-face. “Red Chocobo” didn’t quite cut it, either. Maybe… Wait. Oh, yes, that was perfect.
“From now on, I’ll call your species Crimson Chocobos,” I said, having made my decision. The only living specimen of the newly-named species chirped happily, fairly bouncing on its feet. “Heh. I wonder what Arue would think about that one…”
The high-pitched screech of a wounded Hawkite reminded me that I still had plenty to do.
“Right, right!” I said. Looking around, my gaze fell on one bird that was barely breathing. “Hmmm, I should probably start with the ones closest to death,” I murmured. Taking a deep breath, I reached out my left hand, the jewel on my wrist shining bright yellow.
“Evil Presence.”
In the end, I was able to save no less than fourteen of the avian creatures. It would have been fifteen, but my first attempt was… well… all over the place. Literally.
“Char!” I called out. The Red Minion in question quickly jogged up to me, panting like a particularly enthusiastic dog as he did so.
“Yes, Overlord?”
“I want you to ride the Crimson Chocobo.”
Char blinked and looked at the nearest specimen, which also happened to be the first one I’d “saved”. “Er… What you is mean, Overlord?”
“I want you to sit on top of the big bird, then ride it around,” I explained, making sure to not only use small words, but also gesticulate with my hands to make sure I got the point across. I had noticed that my Minions seemed stupider at first, then gradually grew in intelligence… or at the very least presence of mind.
“Ohhh, okay,” Char said, nodding his understanding. He walked up to the Chocobo. “Oi! Big bird! You is sit down and let me climb-”
Before the Minion could finish, the Crimson Chocobo bent over and promptly closed its beak over his head. Then, to my mounting horror, the giant bird reared its head back and waved the Minion around like a rag doll.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! Put him down! Bad Chocobo!”
Okay, so my plan had some hiccups. I was eventually able to get Char back from the Chocobo by grabbing him by the legs and pulling him out of its grip.
“Eww, I is covered in bird spit,” the Red complained as he sat on the ground, looking none the worse for wear. Well, aside from the aforementioned saliva. Clearly, the Chocobo hadn’t been trying to hurt him, despite appearances.
“Right, let’s try that again,” I said. Turning to the bird, I fixed it with my gaze and pointed down. “Sit.”
The Chocobo gave me a disdainful look.
“Oh, no, don’t look at me like that. I created you. Uh, transformed you. I’m practically your dad. Kinda. Er…” Despite being completely one-sided, I felt the conversation was getting away from me. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Sit. You can do that, can’t you?”
The Chocobo gave me a sour look, then sat down on its haunches, its legs hidden completely by its feathers.
I let out a breath. “Okay, good. Char, climb up.”
“Er… I not is sure I want to, Overlord,” Char said, eyeing the Chocobo warily from his position hiding behind my legs.
“It’s fine, just get on,” I said, finding myself getting impatient. I wanted to see the results of my experi- er, hard work, dammit!
Cautiously, the Red made his way over to the Chocobo, who regarded him in much the same way a cat or a dog might regard an interesting, but not very exciting, person passing them in the street.
“Er, hello big birdie,” Char said hesitantly. “I is Char. I are Red Minion. I is ride you now, okay?”
The Chocobo snorted, but otherwise did nothing. Slowly, Char climbed onboard, seating himself in such a way that his legs dangled down on either side of the Chocobo’s neck.
“I is riding!” the Red Minion said excitedly. “Look at me, Overlord!”
“Yes, yes, very nice,” I said, rolling my eyes but still smiling at the Minion’s excitement. “Now, see if you can get him to carry you around the-”
“Kweh!”
At the sudden chirp, the Chocobo shot to its feet and dashed away, forcing Char to hang on for dear life at the unexpectedly bumpy, high-speed ride.
“Big birdie slow down!” the Minion shouted. “Please, for Char?”
“Kweh!” the Chocobo returned, without slowing even for an instant. Instead, it sped up, making a beeline toward the pile of boulders that had been its demise when it was a Hawkite.
Char screamed and threw his arms up to cover his face, only to reflexively grab onto the giant bird’s feathers when the Chocobo jumped at the last second, sailing not just over the nearest boulder but the entire pile. Flapping its wings, the Chocobo came down for a soft landing on the other side.
“I… I is alive?” Char asked, cracking open one eye. When he saw that he was, indeed, still alive, he opened both eyes and sat up, throwing his arms in the air and crooning out his victory. “I is alive! I is best big birdie rider in woaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
“And there they’re off again,” I murmured, shaking my head. I didn’t know whether the Chocobo was showing off its abilities or just trying to terrify its rider, but the results were much the same.
On the bright side, this meant Char got a lot of training in!
Now, to get the rest of the Reds in on this…
We reached Axel early in the evening. Well, more to the point, we reached the crossroads that marked the meeting point between the main road and the path to the Dark Castle. Not feeling that I had quite a good enough grasp of the Reds to let them into the city just yet, I decided to get off at the crossroads and take everyone to the Dark Castle. I bid the carriage driver goodbye and headed for home, surrounded by Minions and Crimson Chocobos.
“Oi, da Overlord are back! Lower da drawbridge!”
“Drawbridge go down!”
“Raise da portcullis!”
“Portcullis go up!”
“Open da gate!”
“Gate go open!”
I rolled my eyes. Why the Browns manning the gate felt the need to shout everything I had no idea.
“Ohhh, da Mastah bring back Reds!” one of the guards said from atop the gatehouse after we’d entered. “And food!”
He shouldn’t have said that. As one, the Crimson Chocobos looked up at the guard, their eyes narrowed. Then they began spitting fireballs.
“Ack! Bad birdies!” the guard exclaimed as he ducked behind the parapet, the projectiles sailing off harmlessly into the air. He popped back up, shaking his fist. “I is guard Dark Castle! I not target practice!”
“And they’re not food,” I said, before things could escalate any further. “They’re mounts for the Reds.”
“Oi, why Reds get mounts first?” the other guard asked, sounding hurt. “We Browns is be here longest!”
“It just happened,” I said, shrugging. “The world’s never been fair, and I doubt it’s gonna start now. Anyway, go back to guarding the gate. I have stuff to do.”
“Okies, Overlord!” “Yes, Mastah!”
After making sure things were as they should be in the Dark Castle, putting the Chocobos in the admittedly rundown castle stables – I would have to have those renovated at some point – and introducing the Reds to everyone, I left the Dark Castle behind to head into Axel, alone.
I had to tell people I was back, after all.
Not long after the Overlord had gone, the Minions guarding the gate were treated to a rather unusual sight – an army, heading up the path to the Dark Castle. And at its head…
“Oi, stupid salesperson are back.”
“For the last time, I’m not a salesman!” Beldia called back, angrily shaking his fist at the guards. He gestured to the multitude of skeletons and some zombies behind him. Most of them were unarmored, and quite a few were even unarmed; the downside of scrounging up troops at the local communal cemeteries and not being able to just go into town and shop. “As promised, I have returned with an army! Now, will your Overlord come out and treat with me, or do I have to raze this castle to the ground?”
“Da Overlord not talk to salespeople. You is go away.”
Beldia’s eyes narrowed. “I see. Very well, if he will not face me himself, then I will drag him kicking and screaming from his bedchamber if I must! Troops! Form up and- Huh?”
Something sailed over the walls… and crashed right on top of an unfortunate skeleton. Staring, Beldia saw what looked like… an old, broken-down loom? What? He turned back to the walls, laughing.
“What? Did you run out of giant chickens?” he taunted them, thinking back to the guards’ threat last time. It felt so good to be on the other side, for once!
“Act-choo-alley,” one guard said lazily, “we is have many more chickens, now.”
Beldia blinked when he heard a sudden cacophony from behind the walls. It sounded like… birds?
It was then that the Dullahan was treated to a sight he would not forget for as long as he lived. Birds, as big as horses, their plumage bright red, jumped up from behind the walls and sailed through the air, coming down to land surprisingly gently in the open area between the moat and Beldia’s forces. And riding on top of them were more of the accursed goblin-things, only these had horns and skin as red as the birds’ feathers.
“The hell?”
“Oi, listen up!” the goblin-thing riding the lead bird said. “We is da Crimson Cavalry! And we is fight for Overlord!”
Beldia laughed. “There’s ten of you and hundreds of us! You don’t stand a chance!”
“We is see,” the red goblin-thing said dangerously. He steered his bird around to face his compatriots. “Crimson Cavalry! Today, enemy is attack Dark Castle! Is we gonna let them?!”
“““““Nuh-uh!”””””
“Right! Today, we is fight! Foh da Overlord!”
“““““Foh da Overlord!””””” “““““Kweh!”””””
Beldia blinked. “Kweh?” he asked, mimicking the strange bird call… right before all hell broke loose.
The birds scattered, jumping and running at incredible speeds, spitting and breathing fire as they went, while their riders threw fireballs. Before long, a sizable portion of Beldia’s army was either on fire or trampled beneath the over-sized avians’ feet, or both.
“What the hell is going on here?!”
Right then, the lead rider came about and rode straight at Beldia, who screamed and held up an arm to defend… only to widen his eyes in horror as the bird somersaulted over him. For a brief, slow-motion moment, Beldia’s eyes met those of the rider as both he and the bird were upside down above him, slowly turning in midair.
And then the bird let out a “Wark!” and set him on fire.
Time sped back up, and Beldia found himself flat on his back as the bird landed and kicked his feet out from under him, then promptly trampled him into the dirt – incidentally putting out most of the fire – as it ran past, having seemingly forgotten him. Getting up on one knee, Beldia stared after them as they zipped around the battlefield.
“What is this?! What is that?! How are they so fast and mobile?!”
“Ah, you is mean Char?” a voice asked behind him, and Beldia slowly turned to find two of the birds and their riders standing behind him, acting as if there wasn’t a battle raging around them.
“That are triple normal speed… That Minion are like Red Comet,” one of the riders said sagely.
“You is sure it are not thirty percent extra speed?” the other rider asked.
“What you talking? You no can count that high. And what are ‘percent’?”
“Heh, you is right. I are silly.”
With that, the two birds rushed past Beldia, the sheer wind pressure of their passing almost causing him to fall over again. “Uwah?!”
Regaining his balance, Beldia turned around… and saw a nightmare.
Barely a single one of his soldiers – painstakingly raised over the course of two weeks of sneaking around cemeteries at night – was still standing. As he watched, horrified, the birds set the last few on fire and then trampled them into the ground.
What… What is this?! Is this a new kind of warfare? Or is this a nightmare?! In less than five minutes, my entire army has been-! By those damn, mobile birds!
That was when Beldia realized there was nothing left standing on the battlefield… except for a lone, broken-down loom and those birds and their riders, who slowly began circling him.
If only I had my sword…!
To Beldia’s surprise, rather than charge him from all directions or set him on fire, the birds began… dancing. And chirping a strange melody. To add to his bewilderment, the riders looked just as confused as he felt.
“What are you-”
The rest of his words were drowned out by a loud rumbling noise coming from above. Looking up, Beldia saw an innocent, puffy white cloud get vaporized by a huge, burning rock falling from the sky.
A few moments later, his world became nothing but fire and pain.
“I’m back, bitches!” I said cheerfully as I entered the Guild Hall. A handful of confused looks answered my greeting, the rest ignoring me. I puffed in irritation. “Oh, yeah? Well, screw you, too, then.”
I looked to the Guild counter, but sadly Luna was nowhere to be seen. I did see a big pile of lettuce for some reason, though. Weird.
Turning my attention to the left, I let my gaze sweep over the tavern area… until I spotted Kazuma sitting at a table, talking to Aqua who – inexplicably – had climbed onto the table and was currently on all fours and shaking her ass in the air. I bit back a laugh and made my way over.
“Not that I’m complaining about the view, but why are you flaunting your ass at me?” I asked mirthfully.
Aqua froze. Slowly, stiffly, she looked over her shoulder at me, a horrified expression on her face. “Y-you!” she gasped out. Then her eyes narrowed and she pulled down her skirt. “Where do you think you’re looking?! Pervert! Demon!”
I shrugged. “Hey, you’re the one waving your ass in the air. Are you in heat or something?”
“I’m a goddess, not a cat!”
“I dunno, you might look cute with cat ears.” To emphasize my point, I bunched up my hands like cat paws and in as cutesy a voice as I could manage, said, “Meow!”
Aqua, for her part, stood up on her knees, sadly robbing me of the view I’d been enjoying up until that point. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Why are you even here, pervert? Hmph!”
“Hey, I’m an adventurer, too, you know,” I said. “And while I can’t deny the allegation, aren’t you a pervert, too? You’re not even wearing panties.”
“I am too wearing panties!”
“Ha! No, you’re not. I definitely didn’t see any-”
“They’re invisible so perverts like you can’t peek at them,” Aqua said matter-of-factly, even going so far as to wave her finger in the air as if she was giving a lecture or something.
“… You are so fucking stupid.”
“Take that back!” There were tears brimming in her eyes, now. “Kazuma! Tell him!”
“… No, he’s right, you’re an idiot.”
“Waaaaaaaaaaaahhh!”
“Damn right! High-five! … Come on, Kazuma, don’t leave me hanging, here,” I said, my arm outstretched and my hand, sadly, unclapped.
My fellow reincarnator shot me a flat look. “Why are you here?”
“… That hurts, Kazuma, really,” I said nonchalantly as I lowered my hand. “As for why I’m here, I just got back from my trip and thought I’d drop in on my favorite junior adventurers.”
“Who are you calling juniors?!” Kazuma snapped, standing up and slamming his hands on the table. “You’ve only been here a day longer than me! You think I haven’t been busy while you’ve been gone? I’m level 8 now!”
“Oh, really? Cool! Did you learn any-”
“What’s your level?”
“My level? Well, I’m- Uh… Hang on…”
“You don’t know your own level?!”
“Hey, shut up, I’ve been busy,” I said, doing my best to keep the blood from my cheeks as I rooted around in my pockets. “Ah, here it is! Let’s- Hey! That’s mine!”
Kazuma snatched my Adventurer’s Card right out of my hand the moment I pulled it out of my pocket. He stepped back and out of immediate grappling range as he scanned the card. Then his eyes bugged out.
“You’re level 21?!” he asked incredulously, his voice filled with disbelief.
“Like I said, I’ve been busy,” I murmured, then leaned over and took the card back. “Yoink!”
“But… but how?” Kazuma breathed. He stared at me, a shell-shocked expression on his face. “I’ve been working my ass off… I even caught all those cabbages yesterday…”
I frowned. “Cabbages…?”
Kazuma didn’t seem to hear me, however, as he slowly turned his gaze to Aqua. Then his expression hardened. “This is your fault!”
“Me?!”
“Yes, you! You gave him a friggin’ cheat item while I’m stuck with you!”
“Hey, you take that back, Kazuma! You should be honored to have a great goddess like me in your party!”
I rolled my eyes at the ceiling as the pair launched into another argument and instead turned my attention to the other two people present. One of them I vaguely recognized as the female Knight I’d seen Kazuma talking to right before I left Axel, and the other… Wait, isn’t she the little sister? Does that mean Kazuma got ‘em both? Damn, two Crimson Magic Clanners in the same party! I’m jealous, Kazuma!
“Hi, I’m Jason,” I said, giving my best smile as I greeted the pair with an outstretched hand. “Who’re you?”
“Ah, my name is Darkness,” the Knight returned politely, shaking my hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” I said pleasantly. The hell kinda name is ‘Darkness’? Instead of commenting on it, however, I looked over at the Crimson Magic Clanner. “I’m Jason. What’s your name?”
“I’m Megumin,” she said, then immediately added, “the genius Arch-wizard of the Crimson Magic Clan and wielder of Explosion magic!”
Yup, she was a Crimson Magic Clanner, alright. “Don’t think I’ve ever heard of Explosion magic… Anyway, nice to meet you, Megumin!”
She took my hand and shook it, all while looking at me suspiciously. “You… don’t think my name’s weird?”
I blinked. “Why? What’s wrong with your name?” It’s a helluva lot less weird than ‘Darkness’, if you ask me…
“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong with my name!” she said hastily, breaking eye contact.
“Uh-huh… So, where’s your sister?”
Megumin blinked. “Sister?”
“Wait, Megumin, you have a sister?” Kazuma asked, turning his back on a sniffling Aqua. “Is she cute?”
Ignoring him, Megumin fixed me with her stare. “What are you talking about?” she demanded.
I shrugged helplessly. “You know, your sister? The one in the skirt?”
The Arch-wizard gave me a cold glare. “Are you talking about Yunyun?”
I tilted my head. “Is that her name? When I saw you two together, you looked so alike that I just assumed she was your older sister.”
“O-older?!” Megumin sputtered. “I’ll have you know we’re classmates, not sisters! And we’re the same age!” She narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Why do you look so surprised?”
“Er… No reason.”
Megumin pointed her staff at me, the tip touching my nose. “It’s because of her boobs, isn’t it?! I’ll have you know, a woman’s worth isn’t in her mammaries!”
I pushed the staff aside. “I never said it was!”
“You were thinking it!”
“Like hell I was!”
“Pervert!”
“Midget!”
“What did you call me?! You wanna fight, huh? We’ll take this outside right now!”
“Guys, calm down!” Kazuma interjected. “People are staring!”
Indeed, we had the undivided attention of everyone in the Guild Hall. Not that Megumin seemed to care. Thankfully, I still didn’t see Luna anywhere… I was not at my best right now.
“Then let them! Let them watch as I teach this big-boob-loving pervert a lesson!”
“Hey, stop ruining my reputation! I told you, it isn’t like that! I like women of all sizes!”
“Aha! So you’d even go after little girls? Pedophile!”
“That’s not what I said!”
“It sure sounded like it.”
“You stay out of this, you fake goddess!”
“Waaaah, Kazuma, he called me a fake goddess! … Hey, where are you going? Hey!”
As Aqua jumped off the table and chased after the wisely retreating Kazuma, Darkness hurrying after them while throwing glances over her shoulder, Megumin pointed at me again.
“We’re settling this the Crimson Magic Clan way!”
“I don’t know Advanced Magic.”
“That’s not it! We’re settling this with introductions,” Megumin explained. “Whoever has the coolest introduction, wins!”
I blinked.
A couple minutes later, outside the Guild, surrounded by a crowd of adventurers and random pedestrians…
Megumin stood poised before me, her staff held at the ready and her eyes glowing with the trademark crimson of the Crimson Magic Clan. She spoke.
“I am an Arch-wizard and wielder of the most powerful magic in all the world, Explosion! I am the genius of the Crimson Magic Clan, Megumin!” She struck a pose, holding her staff out with her right hand while her left tipped her hat. Her cloak billowed dramatically behind her.
A handful of our onlookers cheered, while the vast majority just looked confused.
Megumin smirked.
And then it was my turn.
I chuckled. Quietly, at first, then with increasing volume and intensity, until finally I was laughing my head off at the sky, my back arched and my head reared back. Then I stopped, straightened, and fixed my opponent with my glare, my eyes shining like miniature suns. I drew my sword and spoke.
“Enemies flee at the mere mention of my name… Monsters bow to my overwhelming might and call me ‘Master’ rather than face me in battle…! I am Jason Sanjo, and I’m a BADASS FREAKIN’ OVERLORD!”
At the culmination of my proclamation I stabbed my sword at the sky, and at that exact moment there was a rumble and then a crash of thunder in the distance. Talk about timing!
Complete and utter silence followed. After what felt like minutes as I held my pose, my sword pointing at the sky, Megumin sank to her knees and hands, her staff clattering against the cobbles.
“I… I concede defeat…” she said weakly, her words barely audible as she trembled. She hung her head, her over-sized hat obscuring her face, no doubt painted with the shame of her loss.
I lowered my sword. “Damn right, you do! Mwahahaha!”
Looks like reading all of Arue’s monologues came in handy, after all!
“What’s wrong with those two?” someone in the crowd whispered.
“Beats me,” somebody whispered back.
… Oi, stop ruining my dramatic scene, here!
Megumin couldn’t believe it. She lost! And it wasn’t even to another Crimson Magic Clanner, but an outsider! The shame was unbearable! It left her unable to even speak!
But damn, if that introduction wasn’t cool! Where did he learn that? And how did he make his eyes shine like that? And the thunder! Did he have a storm demon sealed inside of him? That would be so frickin’ cool!!
… Also, didn’t that sword look awfully familiar? Where did he-
“Ah, well, it’s getting late. I have a package to pick up. See ya ‘round, Megumin.”
Megumin’s head snapped around as her opponent – nay, rival! – walked past her. W-wait! Don’t go!
She hadn’t even declared their rivalry, yet!
Come back!
Alas, before Megumin could find her voice, the man was gone.
Jason Sanjo… Overlord… This isn’t the last you’ve seen of me…! I will have my revenge, I swear it! So sayeth I, Megumin, the genius Arch-wizard of the Crimson Magic Clan and lover of Explosion!
“Overlord!”
“Edward!”
“Your ‘special order’ is ready. Wanna try it on?”
“Hell, yeah!”
Ten minutes later, I was in the back of the store, admiring myself in the mirror. I looked awesome. Despite being made of steel, the aesthetic was closer to that of Durium Armor, from the first Overlord game. The breastplate was a bit wider, covering more of the torso, and the spikes on the helmet were a bit shorter and more utilitarian, but other than that it was as close as I could get it, working from memory and Edward having acted as the sketch artist back when I put in my order. I even made sure to put in the Minion face adorning the lower center of the breastplate.
“There’s actually a bit of adamantite in there,” Edward said, sounding pleased.
I quirked an eyebrow at him. “Adamantite?”
The shopkeeper nodded. “It’s a very hard and durable metal. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to work with and very heavy so you won’t find a whole suit of armor made from the stuff; it would be too heavy to move in, let alone fight! It’s often alloyed with steel to increase durability without making it too heavy, though.”
“Cool. I take it that costs extra? I only brought what we agreed on.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I don’t know why, but when the smith found out the armor was for the Overlord, he said he was honored to forge for the ‘Lord-Above-All’ and threw it in, free of charge.”
“‘Lord-Above-All’?”
Edward shrugged. “I don’t know what he meant by that, but there you go.”
“Huh… Can I meet him?”
He sucked on his teeth. “I dunno… He’s a very private person. Doesn’t like to meet his clients face to face.”
“Oh, okay… Well, you can at least tell him I’m happy with the armor. A million eris to go, right?”
Edward grinned. “You know it.”
“I’ll have to pick up the Minions’ armor tomorrow, though,” I said. “I didn’t bring the Minions, and I’m in a bit of a hurry…”
“That’s fine. Pay now and I promise I won’t sell ‘em before you get back.”
We shared a laugh. As if he’d find anyone who could even wear Minion-sized armor!
“Oh, by the way, I actually wanted to place another order. A helmet, this time…”
“So is everyone clear on this?” Kazuma asked of his party members. They were all gathered in the Guild Hall once more, and discussing their latest quest. “Somebody’s been raiding the communal cemeteries recently, and the Guild wants us to go on patrol and keep more graves from being raided. Because a lot of bodies are missing, they think it’s a Necromancer.” And none of the other adventurers who’ve checked it out have even seen the culprit, so this quest’s gonna be easy money!
Aqua looked surprisingly resolute as she bumped her fist against her chest and said, “You can count on me! Those undead won’t know what hit ‘em!”
“I as well,” Darkness agreed, nodding. “If there is a horde of enemies, living or dead, you can count on me to be at the front line. Surrounded, taking blow after blow, until finally I’m forced to submit to-”
“Okay, enough of that,” Kazuma interrupted. He turned to Megumin. “You understand, Megumin? Don’t cast Explosion in the middle of the cemetery. If we blow the whole thing up we don’t get paid. Megumin? Megumin!”
“Huh? What?” The diminutive Arch-wizard started, having apparently been lost in thought.
“Are you okay?” Kazuma asked. “Did Jason do anything weird after we left?”
“S-something weird?” Darkness stammered. She grabbed Megumin by the shoulders. “W-what did he do? T-tell me everything!”
“It was nothing!” Megumin protested, pushing the Crusader’s hands away. “We had a showdown, is all.”
Kazuma blinked and exchanged a glance with Aqua, who shrugged. “What kind of showdown?”
“… Let’s just say he is a far more formidable foe than I had anticipated,” Megumin said absently. Then she clenched her hands into fists. “But it won’t be the same next time! Just you wait, Overlord!”
“Uhhh… Okay. A-anyway, don’t blow up the cemetery, alright?”
Megumin blinked. “What cemetery?”
Kazuma groaned. “Haven’t you been listening at all?!”
“Of course not. I’ve been plotting my revenge! He thinks he’s so cool, with his awesome lines, glowing eyes and damn weather control magic!”
“Wait, the Gauntlet lets him control the weather, too? Since when?”
“Gauntlet? What are you talking about?”
“Didn’t you see his Gauntlet? It’s like an epic-level magic artifact loaded up with pure evil and destruction.” As he said this, Kazuma glanced over at Aqua, who immediately looked away while whistling innocently, a sweatdrop slowly making its way down the side of her head.
“He… he has an evil magic artifact, too?!” Megumin gasped. “So… cool…! I mean, no fair! If anyone should have an evil magic artifact, it should be a Crimson Magic Clanner. Like me! Especially me!”
“Hey, Kazuma, about this ‘evil artifact’ you just mentioned… As a Crusader, I don’t think I can ignore something like that…!”
“Oh, please, you just want him to use it on you.”
“Grk-! N-no, I don’t…”
Kazuma sighed and shook his head at his party members’ distraction. “Why do I have the feeling tonight is gonna be terrible…?”
I took several deep breaths, steeling myself, and opened the door.
“Good evening. I am here to… ‘talk’,” I said, doing my best to make my voice sound as sinister as possible.
“Oh, hello, Jason! Did you have a nice trip?”
“Aww, how’d you know it was me? I have the mask and the helmet on and everything!”
Wiz giggled. Ah, what a lovely sound. “The glowing eyes gave it away.”
“The glowing-? Aw, damn it!” I pulled down the dark cloth that had been covering my face up to just underneath my eyes, since it was apparently useless. I was grinning.
“Did you have fun on your trip?” Wiz asked as she came over. “Would you like some tea?”
“Yes and yes.”
As she went back behind the counter to prepare the tea, Wiz spoke over her shoulder. “That’s some peculiar-looking armor. Did you pick it up in the Crimson Magic Village?”
“Nah, it was a special order I just picked up today,” I said as I plopped down in my usual seat. “You know Edward, the armorer? I ordered this weeks ago, and he got it like, yesterday, I think.”
“Oh, I see. Would you like some biscuits with the tea?”
“Sure!”
While we were sitting, talking about my trip and drinking tea, Wiz suddenly adopted a serious expression.
“Actually, now that you’re back, I was wondering if you could help me with something…”
“Oh? What is it?” I asked, trying and probably failing not to sound eager. If I’d had a tail I’d probably be wagging it.
“You see, while you’ve been gone, someone’s been going around robbing the graves of the communal cemeteries,” Wiz said sadly. “But whoever it is, they’re not after valuables. The bodies are missing.”
My jovial mood dissipated from the shopkeeper’s words. Not because of the words themselves so much as the sadness in her tone, though. “The bodies…? A Necromancer?”
Wiz nodded. “That’s what I’m thinking. Could you, maybe… go with me tonight? I may not look it, but I was a pretty successful adventurer back in the day, and I can’t just let something like this slide!”
“Sure, no problem,” I said, nodding. “Wait, tonight?”
Another nod. “Yes. The sooner the better.”
“Uh… Okay.” Me, alone with Wiz, at night, under the stars? Hell, yeah!
I fought down my excitement. Grave-robbing was a terrible thing, to be true, but at that moment I couldn’t help but feel somewhat indebted to the culprit.
Tonight was gonna be awesome!
End Chapter Eighteen
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Author’s Notes: In celebration of the coming Summer Solstice – and because I’m gonna be too busy on the actual day – have another chapter!
Chapter Eighteen: A New Kind Of Warfare (The Bird’s The Word)
“A Chocobo? I made a fucking Chocobo?!” I asked incredulously as I stared at the bird standing before me. It looked exactly like a Chocobo straight out of Final Fantasy. Well, except for one little detail: it was red. Although, some of the games did have red Chocobos, so it wasn’t like it was all that unbeliev-
“Kweh!” the bird chirped, interrupting my train of thought… and blowing a jet of flame from its beak.
“You breathe fire, too?!” Well, I had used a red life force orb, so it made sense, but…
“Kweh!” the Chocobo (?) chirped again, its tone a happy one. Then it adopted a wide-legged stance and spat a ball of fire the size of my head that sailed a good twenty meters before it impacted the ground and exploded. The explosion wasn’t all that impressive, to tell the truth, but the simple fact that it had that capability in the first place was something else.
“… Okay, so you’re not a regular Chocobo,” I said slowly once I got my jaw working again. I regarded the creature before me, who appeared busy preening at my indirect praise. What should I call it? A Fire Chocobo? No, too in-your-face. “Red Chocobo” didn’t quite cut it, either. Maybe… Wait. Oh, yes, that was perfect.
“From now on, I’ll call your species Crimson Chocobos,” I said, having made my decision. The only living specimen of the newly-named species chirped happily, fairly bouncing on its feet. “Heh. I wonder what Arue would think about that one…”
The high-pitched screech of a wounded Hawkite reminded me that I still had plenty to do.
“Right, right!” I said. Looking around, my gaze fell on one bird that was barely breathing. “Hmmm, I should probably start with the ones closest to death,” I murmured. Taking a deep breath, I reached out my left hand, the jewel on my wrist shining bright yellow.
“Evil Presence.”
In the end, I was able to save no less than fourteen of the avian creatures. It would have been fifteen, but my first attempt was… well… all over the place. Literally.
“Char!” I called out. The Red Minion in question quickly jogged up to me, panting like a particularly enthusiastic dog as he did so.
“Yes, Overlord?”
“I want you to ride the Crimson Chocobo.”
Char blinked and looked at the nearest specimen, which also happened to be the first one I’d “saved”. “Er… What you is mean, Overlord?”
“I want you to sit on top of the big bird, then ride it around,” I explained, making sure to not only use small words, but also gesticulate with my hands to make sure I got the point across. I had noticed that my Minions seemed stupider at first, then gradually grew in intelligence… or at the very least presence of mind.
“Ohhh, okay,” Char said, nodding his understanding. He walked up to the Chocobo. “Oi! Big bird! You is sit down and let me climb-”
Before the Minion could finish, the Crimson Chocobo bent over and promptly closed its beak over his head. Then, to my mounting horror, the giant bird reared its head back and waved the Minion around like a rag doll.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! Put him down! Bad Chocobo!”
Okay, so my plan had some hiccups. I was eventually able to get Char back from the Chocobo by grabbing him by the legs and pulling him out of its grip.
“Eww, I is covered in bird spit,” the Red complained as he sat on the ground, looking none the worse for wear. Well, aside from the aforementioned saliva. Clearly, the Chocobo hadn’t been trying to hurt him, despite appearances.
“Right, let’s try that again,” I said. Turning to the bird, I fixed it with my gaze and pointed down. “Sit.”
The Chocobo gave me a disdainful look.
“Oh, no, don’t look at me like that. I created you. Uh, transformed you. I’m practically your dad. Kinda. Er…” Despite being completely one-sided, I felt the conversation was getting away from me. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Sit. You can do that, can’t you?”
The Chocobo gave me a sour look, then sat down on its haunches, its legs hidden completely by its feathers.
I let out a breath. “Okay, good. Char, climb up.”
“Er… I not is sure I want to, Overlord,” Char said, eyeing the Chocobo warily from his position hiding behind my legs.
“It’s fine, just get on,” I said, finding myself getting impatient. I wanted to see the results of my experi- er, hard work, dammit!
Cautiously, the Red made his way over to the Chocobo, who regarded him in much the same way a cat or a dog might regard an interesting, but not very exciting, person passing them in the street.
“Er, hello big birdie,” Char said hesitantly. “I is Char. I are Red Minion. I is ride you now, okay?”
The Chocobo snorted, but otherwise did nothing. Slowly, Char climbed onboard, seating himself in such a way that his legs dangled down on either side of the Chocobo’s neck.
“I is riding!” the Red Minion said excitedly. “Look at me, Overlord!”
“Yes, yes, very nice,” I said, rolling my eyes but still smiling at the Minion’s excitement. “Now, see if you can get him to carry you around the-”
“Kweh!”
At the sudden chirp, the Chocobo shot to its feet and dashed away, forcing Char to hang on for dear life at the unexpectedly bumpy, high-speed ride.
“Big birdie slow down!” the Minion shouted. “Please, for Char?”
“Kweh!” the Chocobo returned, without slowing even for an instant. Instead, it sped up, making a beeline toward the pile of boulders that had been its demise when it was a Hawkite.
Char screamed and threw his arms up to cover his face, only to reflexively grab onto the giant bird’s feathers when the Chocobo jumped at the last second, sailing not just over the nearest boulder but the entire pile. Flapping its wings, the Chocobo came down for a soft landing on the other side.
“I… I is alive?” Char asked, cracking open one eye. When he saw that he was, indeed, still alive, he opened both eyes and sat up, throwing his arms in the air and crooning out his victory. “I is alive! I is best big birdie rider in woaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
“And there they’re off again,” I murmured, shaking my head. I didn’t know whether the Chocobo was showing off its abilities or just trying to terrify its rider, but the results were much the same.
On the bright side, this meant Char got a lot of training in!
Now, to get the rest of the Reds in on this…
We reached Axel early in the evening. Well, more to the point, we reached the crossroads that marked the meeting point between the main road and the path to the Dark Castle. Not feeling that I had quite a good enough grasp of the Reds to let them into the city just yet, I decided to get off at the crossroads and take everyone to the Dark Castle. I bid the carriage driver goodbye and headed for home, surrounded by Minions and Crimson Chocobos.
“Oi, da Overlord are back! Lower da drawbridge!”
“Drawbridge go down!”
“Raise da portcullis!”
“Portcullis go up!”
“Open da gate!”
“Gate go open!”
I rolled my eyes. Why the Browns manning the gate felt the need to shout everything I had no idea.
“Ohhh, da Mastah bring back Reds!” one of the guards said from atop the gatehouse after we’d entered. “And food!”
He shouldn’t have said that. As one, the Crimson Chocobos looked up at the guard, their eyes narrowed. Then they began spitting fireballs.
“Ack! Bad birdies!” the guard exclaimed as he ducked behind the parapet, the projectiles sailing off harmlessly into the air. He popped back up, shaking his fist. “I is guard Dark Castle! I not target practice!”
“And they’re not food,” I said, before things could escalate any further. “They’re mounts for the Reds.”
“Oi, why Reds get mounts first?” the other guard asked, sounding hurt. “We Browns is be here longest!”
“It just happened,” I said, shrugging. “The world’s never been fair, and I doubt it’s gonna start now. Anyway, go back to guarding the gate. I have stuff to do.”
“Okies, Overlord!” “Yes, Mastah!”
After making sure things were as they should be in the Dark Castle, putting the Chocobos in the admittedly rundown castle stables – I would have to have those renovated at some point – and introducing the Reds to everyone, I left the Dark Castle behind to head into Axel, alone.
I had to tell people I was back, after all.
Not long after the Overlord had gone, the Minions guarding the gate were treated to a rather unusual sight – an army, heading up the path to the Dark Castle. And at its head…
“Oi, stupid salesperson are back.”
“For the last time, I’m not a salesman!” Beldia called back, angrily shaking his fist at the guards. He gestured to the multitude of skeletons and some zombies behind him. Most of them were unarmored, and quite a few were even unarmed; the downside of scrounging up troops at the local communal cemeteries and not being able to just go into town and shop. “As promised, I have returned with an army! Now, will your Overlord come out and treat with me, or do I have to raze this castle to the ground?”
“Da Overlord not talk to salespeople. You is go away.”
Beldia’s eyes narrowed. “I see. Very well, if he will not face me himself, then I will drag him kicking and screaming from his bedchamber if I must! Troops! Form up and- Huh?”
Something sailed over the walls… and crashed right on top of an unfortunate skeleton. Staring, Beldia saw what looked like… an old, broken-down loom? What? He turned back to the walls, laughing.
“What? Did you run out of giant chickens?” he taunted them, thinking back to the guards’ threat last time. It felt so good to be on the other side, for once!
“Act-choo-alley,” one guard said lazily, “we is have many more chickens, now.”
Beldia blinked when he heard a sudden cacophony from behind the walls. It sounded like… birds?
It was then that the Dullahan was treated to a sight he would not forget for as long as he lived. Birds, as big as horses, their plumage bright red, jumped up from behind the walls and sailed through the air, coming down to land surprisingly gently in the open area between the moat and Beldia’s forces. And riding on top of them were more of the accursed goblin-things, only these had horns and skin as red as the birds’ feathers.
“The hell?”
“Oi, listen up!” the goblin-thing riding the lead bird said. “We is da Crimson Cavalry! And we is fight for Overlord!”
Beldia laughed. “There’s ten of you and hundreds of us! You don’t stand a chance!”
“We is see,” the red goblin-thing said dangerously. He steered his bird around to face his compatriots. “Crimson Cavalry! Today, enemy is attack Dark Castle! Is we gonna let them?!”
“““““Nuh-uh!”””””
“Right! Today, we is fight! Foh da Overlord!”
“““““Foh da Overlord!””””” “““““Kweh!”””””
Beldia blinked. “Kweh?” he asked, mimicking the strange bird call… right before all hell broke loose.
The birds scattered, jumping and running at incredible speeds, spitting and breathing fire as they went, while their riders threw fireballs. Before long, a sizable portion of Beldia’s army was either on fire or trampled beneath the over-sized avians’ feet, or both.
“What the hell is going on here?!”
Right then, the lead rider came about and rode straight at Beldia, who screamed and held up an arm to defend… only to widen his eyes in horror as the bird somersaulted over him. For a brief, slow-motion moment, Beldia’s eyes met those of the rider as both he and the bird were upside down above him, slowly turning in midair.
And then the bird let out a “Wark!” and set him on fire.
Time sped back up, and Beldia found himself flat on his back as the bird landed and kicked his feet out from under him, then promptly trampled him into the dirt – incidentally putting out most of the fire – as it ran past, having seemingly forgotten him. Getting up on one knee, Beldia stared after them as they zipped around the battlefield.
“What is this?! What is that?! How are they so fast and mobile?!”
“Ah, you is mean Char?” a voice asked behind him, and Beldia slowly turned to find two of the birds and their riders standing behind him, acting as if there wasn’t a battle raging around them.
“That are triple normal speed… That Minion are like Red Comet,” one of the riders said sagely.
“You is sure it are not thirty percent extra speed?” the other rider asked.
“What you talking? You no can count that high. And what are ‘percent’?”
“Heh, you is right. I are silly.”
With that, the two birds rushed past Beldia, the sheer wind pressure of their passing almost causing him to fall over again. “Uwah?!”
Regaining his balance, Beldia turned around… and saw a nightmare.
Barely a single one of his soldiers – painstakingly raised over the course of two weeks of sneaking around cemeteries at night – was still standing. As he watched, horrified, the birds set the last few on fire and then trampled them into the ground.
What… What is this?! Is this a new kind of warfare? Or is this a nightmare?! In less than five minutes, my entire army has been-! By those damn, mobile birds!
That was when Beldia realized there was nothing left standing on the battlefield… except for a lone, broken-down loom and those birds and their riders, who slowly began circling him.
If only I had my sword…!
To Beldia’s surprise, rather than charge him from all directions or set him on fire, the birds began… dancing. And chirping a strange melody. To add to his bewilderment, the riders looked just as confused as he felt.
“What are you-”
The rest of his words were drowned out by a loud rumbling noise coming from above. Looking up, Beldia saw an innocent, puffy white cloud get vaporized by a huge, burning rock falling from the sky.
A few moments later, his world became nothing but fire and pain.
“I’m back, bitches!” I said cheerfully as I entered the Guild Hall. A handful of confused looks answered my greeting, the rest ignoring me. I puffed in irritation. “Oh, yeah? Well, screw you, too, then.”
I looked to the Guild counter, but sadly Luna was nowhere to be seen. I did see a big pile of lettuce for some reason, though. Weird.
Turning my attention to the left, I let my gaze sweep over the tavern area… until I spotted Kazuma sitting at a table, talking to Aqua who – inexplicably – had climbed onto the table and was currently on all fours and shaking her ass in the air. I bit back a laugh and made my way over.
“Not that I’m complaining about the view, but why are you flaunting your ass at me?” I asked mirthfully.
Aqua froze. Slowly, stiffly, she looked over her shoulder at me, a horrified expression on her face. “Y-you!” she gasped out. Then her eyes narrowed and she pulled down her skirt. “Where do you think you’re looking?! Pervert! Demon!”
I shrugged. “Hey, you’re the one waving your ass in the air. Are you in heat or something?”
“I’m a goddess, not a cat!”
“I dunno, you might look cute with cat ears.” To emphasize my point, I bunched up my hands like cat paws and in as cutesy a voice as I could manage, said, “Meow!”
Aqua, for her part, stood up on her knees, sadly robbing me of the view I’d been enjoying up until that point. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Why are you even here, pervert? Hmph!”
“Hey, I’m an adventurer, too, you know,” I said. “And while I can’t deny the allegation, aren’t you a pervert, too? You’re not even wearing panties.”
“I am too wearing panties!”
“Ha! No, you’re not. I definitely didn’t see any-”
“They’re invisible so perverts like you can’t peek at them,” Aqua said matter-of-factly, even going so far as to wave her finger in the air as if she was giving a lecture or something.
“… You are so fucking stupid.”
“Take that back!” There were tears brimming in her eyes, now. “Kazuma! Tell him!”
“… No, he’s right, you’re an idiot.”
“Waaaaaaaaaaaahhh!”
“Damn right! High-five! … Come on, Kazuma, don’t leave me hanging, here,” I said, my arm outstretched and my hand, sadly, unclapped.
My fellow reincarnator shot me a flat look. “Why are you here?”
“… That hurts, Kazuma, really,” I said nonchalantly as I lowered my hand. “As for why I’m here, I just got back from my trip and thought I’d drop in on my favorite junior adventurers.”
“Who are you calling juniors?!” Kazuma snapped, standing up and slamming his hands on the table. “You’ve only been here a day longer than me! You think I haven’t been busy while you’ve been gone? I’m level 8 now!”
“Oh, really? Cool! Did you learn any-”
“What’s your level?”
“My level? Well, I’m- Uh… Hang on…”
“You don’t know your own level?!”
“Hey, shut up, I’ve been busy,” I said, doing my best to keep the blood from my cheeks as I rooted around in my pockets. “Ah, here it is! Let’s- Hey! That’s mine!”
Kazuma snatched my Adventurer’s Card right out of my hand the moment I pulled it out of my pocket. He stepped back and out of immediate grappling range as he scanned the card. Then his eyes bugged out.
“You’re level 21?!” he asked incredulously, his voice filled with disbelief.
“Like I said, I’ve been busy,” I murmured, then leaned over and took the card back. “Yoink!”
“But… but how?” Kazuma breathed. He stared at me, a shell-shocked expression on his face. “I’ve been working my ass off… I even caught all those cabbages yesterday…”
I frowned. “Cabbages…?”
Kazuma didn’t seem to hear me, however, as he slowly turned his gaze to Aqua. Then his expression hardened. “This is your fault!”
“Me?!”
“Yes, you! You gave him a friggin’ cheat item while I’m stuck with you!”
“Hey, you take that back, Kazuma! You should be honored to have a great goddess like me in your party!”
I rolled my eyes at the ceiling as the pair launched into another argument and instead turned my attention to the other two people present. One of them I vaguely recognized as the female Knight I’d seen Kazuma talking to right before I left Axel, and the other… Wait, isn’t she the little sister? Does that mean Kazuma got ‘em both? Damn, two Crimson Magic Clanners in the same party! I’m jealous, Kazuma!
“Hi, I’m Jason,” I said, giving my best smile as I greeted the pair with an outstretched hand. “Who’re you?”
“Ah, my name is Darkness,” the Knight returned politely, shaking my hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” I said pleasantly. The hell kinda name is ‘Darkness’? Instead of commenting on it, however, I looked over at the Crimson Magic Clanner. “I’m Jason. What’s your name?”
“I’m Megumin,” she said, then immediately added, “the genius Arch-wizard of the Crimson Magic Clan and wielder of Explosion magic!”
Yup, she was a Crimson Magic Clanner, alright. “Don’t think I’ve ever heard of Explosion magic… Anyway, nice to meet you, Megumin!”
She took my hand and shook it, all while looking at me suspiciously. “You… don’t think my name’s weird?”
I blinked. “Why? What’s wrong with your name?” It’s a helluva lot less weird than ‘Darkness’, if you ask me…
“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong with my name!” she said hastily, breaking eye contact.
“Uh-huh… So, where’s your sister?”
Megumin blinked. “Sister?”
“Wait, Megumin, you have a sister?” Kazuma asked, turning his back on a sniffling Aqua. “Is she cute?”
Ignoring him, Megumin fixed me with her stare. “What are you talking about?” she demanded.
I shrugged helplessly. “You know, your sister? The one in the skirt?”
The Arch-wizard gave me a cold glare. “Are you talking about Yunyun?”
I tilted my head. “Is that her name? When I saw you two together, you looked so alike that I just assumed she was your older sister.”
“O-older?!” Megumin sputtered. “I’ll have you know we’re classmates, not sisters! And we’re the same age!” She narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Why do you look so surprised?”
“Er… No reason.”
Megumin pointed her staff at me, the tip touching my nose. “It’s because of her boobs, isn’t it?! I’ll have you know, a woman’s worth isn’t in her mammaries!”
I pushed the staff aside. “I never said it was!”
“You were thinking it!”
“Like hell I was!”
“Pervert!”
“Midget!”
“What did you call me?! You wanna fight, huh? We’ll take this outside right now!”
“Guys, calm down!” Kazuma interjected. “People are staring!”
Indeed, we had the undivided attention of everyone in the Guild Hall. Not that Megumin seemed to care. Thankfully, I still didn’t see Luna anywhere… I was not at my best right now.
“Then let them! Let them watch as I teach this big-boob-loving pervert a lesson!”
“Hey, stop ruining my reputation! I told you, it isn’t like that! I like women of all sizes!”
“Aha! So you’d even go after little girls? Pedophile!”
“That’s not what I said!”
“It sure sounded like it.”
“You stay out of this, you fake goddess!”
“Waaaah, Kazuma, he called me a fake goddess! … Hey, where are you going? Hey!”
As Aqua jumped off the table and chased after the wisely retreating Kazuma, Darkness hurrying after them while throwing glances over her shoulder, Megumin pointed at me again.
“We’re settling this the Crimson Magic Clan way!”
“I don’t know Advanced Magic.”
“That’s not it! We’re settling this with introductions,” Megumin explained. “Whoever has the coolest introduction, wins!”
I blinked.
A couple minutes later, outside the Guild, surrounded by a crowd of adventurers and random pedestrians…
Megumin stood poised before me, her staff held at the ready and her eyes glowing with the trademark crimson of the Crimson Magic Clan. She spoke.
“I am an Arch-wizard and wielder of the most powerful magic in all the world, Explosion! I am the genius of the Crimson Magic Clan, Megumin!” She struck a pose, holding her staff out with her right hand while her left tipped her hat. Her cloak billowed dramatically behind her.
A handful of our onlookers cheered, while the vast majority just looked confused.
Megumin smirked.
And then it was my turn.
I chuckled. Quietly, at first, then with increasing volume and intensity, until finally I was laughing my head off at the sky, my back arched and my head reared back. Then I stopped, straightened, and fixed my opponent with my glare, my eyes shining like miniature suns. I drew my sword and spoke.
“Enemies flee at the mere mention of my name… Monsters bow to my overwhelming might and call me ‘Master’ rather than face me in battle…! I am Jason Sanjo, and I’m a BADASS FREAKIN’ OVERLORD!”
At the culmination of my proclamation I stabbed my sword at the sky, and at that exact moment there was a rumble and then a crash of thunder in the distance. Talk about timing!
Complete and utter silence followed. After what felt like minutes as I held my pose, my sword pointing at the sky, Megumin sank to her knees and hands, her staff clattering against the cobbles.
“I… I concede defeat…” she said weakly, her words barely audible as she trembled. She hung her head, her over-sized hat obscuring her face, no doubt painted with the shame of her loss.
I lowered my sword. “Damn right, you do! Mwahahaha!”
Looks like reading all of Arue’s monologues came in handy, after all!
“What’s wrong with those two?” someone in the crowd whispered.
“Beats me,” somebody whispered back.
… Oi, stop ruining my dramatic scene, here!
Megumin couldn’t believe it. She lost! And it wasn’t even to another Crimson Magic Clanner, but an outsider! The shame was unbearable! It left her unable to even speak!
But damn, if that introduction wasn’t cool! Where did he learn that? And how did he make his eyes shine like that? And the thunder! Did he have a storm demon sealed inside of him? That would be so frickin’ cool!!
… Also, didn’t that sword look awfully familiar? Where did he-
“Ah, well, it’s getting late. I have a package to pick up. See ya ‘round, Megumin.”
Megumin’s head snapped around as her opponent – nay, rival! – walked past her. W-wait! Don’t go!
She hadn’t even declared their rivalry, yet!
Come back!
Alas, before Megumin could find her voice, the man was gone.
Jason Sanjo… Overlord… This isn’t the last you’ve seen of me…! I will have my revenge, I swear it! So sayeth I, Megumin, the genius Arch-wizard of the Crimson Magic Clan and lover of Explosion!
“Overlord!”
“Edward!”
“Your ‘special order’ is ready. Wanna try it on?”
“Hell, yeah!”
Ten minutes later, I was in the back of the store, admiring myself in the mirror. I looked awesome. Despite being made of steel, the aesthetic was closer to that of Durium Armor, from the first Overlord game. The breastplate was a bit wider, covering more of the torso, and the spikes on the helmet were a bit shorter and more utilitarian, but other than that it was as close as I could get it, working from memory and Edward having acted as the sketch artist back when I put in my order. I even made sure to put in the Minion face adorning the lower center of the breastplate.
“There’s actually a bit of adamantite in there,” Edward said, sounding pleased.
I quirked an eyebrow at him. “Adamantite?”
The shopkeeper nodded. “It’s a very hard and durable metal. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to work with and very heavy so you won’t find a whole suit of armor made from the stuff; it would be too heavy to move in, let alone fight! It’s often alloyed with steel to increase durability without making it too heavy, though.”
“Cool. I take it that costs extra? I only brought what we agreed on.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I don’t know why, but when the smith found out the armor was for the Overlord, he said he was honored to forge for the ‘Lord-Above-All’ and threw it in, free of charge.”
“‘Lord-Above-All’?”
Edward shrugged. “I don’t know what he meant by that, but there you go.”
“Huh… Can I meet him?”
He sucked on his teeth. “I dunno… He’s a very private person. Doesn’t like to meet his clients face to face.”
“Oh, okay… Well, you can at least tell him I’m happy with the armor. A million eris to go, right?”
Edward grinned. “You know it.”
“I’ll have to pick up the Minions’ armor tomorrow, though,” I said. “I didn’t bring the Minions, and I’m in a bit of a hurry…”
“That’s fine. Pay now and I promise I won’t sell ‘em before you get back.”
We shared a laugh. As if he’d find anyone who could even wear Minion-sized armor!
“Oh, by the way, I actually wanted to place another order. A helmet, this time…”
“So is everyone clear on this?” Kazuma asked of his party members. They were all gathered in the Guild Hall once more, and discussing their latest quest. “Somebody’s been raiding the communal cemeteries recently, and the Guild wants us to go on patrol and keep more graves from being raided. Because a lot of bodies are missing, they think it’s a Necromancer.” And none of the other adventurers who’ve checked it out have even seen the culprit, so this quest’s gonna be easy money!
Aqua looked surprisingly resolute as she bumped her fist against her chest and said, “You can count on me! Those undead won’t know what hit ‘em!”
“I as well,” Darkness agreed, nodding. “If there is a horde of enemies, living or dead, you can count on me to be at the front line. Surrounded, taking blow after blow, until finally I’m forced to submit to-”
“Okay, enough of that,” Kazuma interrupted. He turned to Megumin. “You understand, Megumin? Don’t cast Explosion in the middle of the cemetery. If we blow the whole thing up we don’t get paid. Megumin? Megumin!”
“Huh? What?” The diminutive Arch-wizard started, having apparently been lost in thought.
“Are you okay?” Kazuma asked. “Did Jason do anything weird after we left?”
“S-something weird?” Darkness stammered. She grabbed Megumin by the shoulders. “W-what did he do? T-tell me everything!”
“It was nothing!” Megumin protested, pushing the Crusader’s hands away. “We had a showdown, is all.”
Kazuma blinked and exchanged a glance with Aqua, who shrugged. “What kind of showdown?”
“… Let’s just say he is a far more formidable foe than I had anticipated,” Megumin said absently. Then she clenched her hands into fists. “But it won’t be the same next time! Just you wait, Overlord!”
“Uhhh… Okay. A-anyway, don’t blow up the cemetery, alright?”
Megumin blinked. “What cemetery?”
Kazuma groaned. “Haven’t you been listening at all?!”
“Of course not. I’ve been plotting my revenge! He thinks he’s so cool, with his awesome lines, glowing eyes and damn weather control magic!”
“Wait, the Gauntlet lets him control the weather, too? Since when?”
“Gauntlet? What are you talking about?”
“Didn’t you see his Gauntlet? It’s like an epic-level magic artifact loaded up with pure evil and destruction.” As he said this, Kazuma glanced over at Aqua, who immediately looked away while whistling innocently, a sweatdrop slowly making its way down the side of her head.
“He… he has an evil magic artifact, too?!” Megumin gasped. “So… cool…! I mean, no fair! If anyone should have an evil magic artifact, it should be a Crimson Magic Clanner. Like me! Especially me!”
“Hey, Kazuma, about this ‘evil artifact’ you just mentioned… As a Crusader, I don’t think I can ignore something like that…!”
“Oh, please, you just want him to use it on you.”
“Grk-! N-no, I don’t…”
Kazuma sighed and shook his head at his party members’ distraction. “Why do I have the feeling tonight is gonna be terrible…?”
I took several deep breaths, steeling myself, and opened the door.
“Good evening. I am here to… ‘talk’,” I said, doing my best to make my voice sound as sinister as possible.
“Oh, hello, Jason! Did you have a nice trip?”
“Aww, how’d you know it was me? I have the mask and the helmet on and everything!”
Wiz giggled. Ah, what a lovely sound. “The glowing eyes gave it away.”
“The glowing-? Aw, damn it!” I pulled down the dark cloth that had been covering my face up to just underneath my eyes, since it was apparently useless. I was grinning.
“Did you have fun on your trip?” Wiz asked as she came over. “Would you like some tea?”
“Yes and yes.”
As she went back behind the counter to prepare the tea, Wiz spoke over her shoulder. “That’s some peculiar-looking armor. Did you pick it up in the Crimson Magic Village?”
“Nah, it was a special order I just picked up today,” I said as I plopped down in my usual seat. “You know Edward, the armorer? I ordered this weeks ago, and he got it like, yesterday, I think.”
“Oh, I see. Would you like some biscuits with the tea?”
“Sure!”
While we were sitting, talking about my trip and drinking tea, Wiz suddenly adopted a serious expression.
“Actually, now that you’re back, I was wondering if you could help me with something…”
“Oh? What is it?” I asked, trying and probably failing not to sound eager. If I’d had a tail I’d probably be wagging it.
“You see, while you’ve been gone, someone’s been going around robbing the graves of the communal cemeteries,” Wiz said sadly. “But whoever it is, they’re not after valuables. The bodies are missing.”
My jovial mood dissipated from the shopkeeper’s words. Not because of the words themselves so much as the sadness in her tone, though. “The bodies…? A Necromancer?”
Wiz nodded. “That’s what I’m thinking. Could you, maybe… go with me tonight? I may not look it, but I was a pretty successful adventurer back in the day, and I can’t just let something like this slide!”
“Sure, no problem,” I said, nodding. “Wait, tonight?”
Another nod. “Yes. The sooner the better.”
“Uh… Okay.” Me, alone with Wiz, at night, under the stars? Hell, yeah!
I fought down my excitement. Grave-robbing was a terrible thing, to be true, but at that moment I couldn’t help but feel somewhat indebted to the culprit.
Tonight was gonna be awesome!
End Chapter Eighteen
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
I gotta admit I can't follow Kazuma's logic here. Why would nobody being able to see the culprit make the job easier?
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Basically, he's thinking that since nobody's run into the culprit, odds are his party won't, either. In other words: they'd get paid just for walking around.
ShadowLord
Well-known member
Got to say that I'm loving the story so far. Plus Overlord fics that are good are just too rare
Chapter 19: In The Dark Of The Night
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Blessings To This Wonderful Overlord!
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Chapter Nineteen: In The Dark Of The Night
It was late in the evening, nearing midnight, and Kazuma and his party were making their way through one of the communal cemeteries outside the town walls. There was partial cloud cover, and at the moment there was little light save that provided by the lanterns they carried.
“Kazuma, do you think we’re going to run into some powerful undead?” Darkness asked, looking around with an eager smile on her face.
“I hope not,” Kazuma replied. He gave the woman a half-lidded stare. “And don’t sound so thrilled, Darkness.”
As the party’s resident Crusader started sputtering denials, Kazuma turned to Aqua.
“Hey, you said you can sense undead, didn’t you? Do you sense anything right now?”
Aqua tilted her head and hummed thoughtfully. “No… I don’t sense anything. I don’t think there are any undead nearby.”
Kazuma let out a breath. “Well, that’s a relief.”
“It is not!” Megumin interjected. Striking a pose, she added, “If there is a horde of undead, I will make them regret coming back to life with a powerful Explosion! Oh, I hope we find them soon!”
“I told you, if we blow up the cemetery we don’t get paid,” Kazuma said lamely.
“Then why’d you even bring me, if not to see my Explosion in action?!”
Kazuma blinked and slowed down. “That’s a good question, actually. You’re pretty useless on this kind of quest.”
“U-useless?!” Megumin stammered, taken aback. “How dare you! I’m the genius of the Crimson Magic Clan! I’m not useless!”
“Calm down, Megumin,” Kazuma said soothingly. “If we run into a horde of undead, we’ll lure them outside the cemetery and then you can blow them up with Explosion. How’s that?”
“… That’s fine, but don’t think I’ll just forget your earlier words!”
Kazuma rolled his eyes. “Hey, Aqua, keep on the lookout for undead, okay? If you sense anything, let us know right away.”
“Of course! No undead is gonna get past my divine senses!”
Okay, Jason, keep it cool. This isn’t a date, exactly, but still: don’t fuck up.
I glanced over at Wiz, taking in the shopkeeper’s form. Despite the relative darkness, my dark vision let me see her well enough, although the overall lack of contrast meant I couldn’t really make out the details of her dark robe. Her face, on the other hand, stood out, looking even paler in the dark and allowing me to see her features in great detail.
“Hmm? Is there something on my face?” Wiz asked, meeting my gaze. I started.
“Ah, no, nothing. I was just, uh…” I glanced upward, to the horns adorning the top of Wiz’s hood, “looking at your, uh, horns. Kind of an unusual design choice, yeah?”
Wiz giggled and touched one horn with her hand. The horn was about the length of my index finger, and fit neatly in her hand. “They’re fangs, actually. From a dragon my adventuring companions and I slew years ago. I had never fought a dragon before, and I was so scared because it was so big and scary… Of course, it was only a Dragon Whelp, so looking back on it, I definitely overreacted.”
I quirked an eyebrow at that. “You make it sound like you’ve fought a lot of dragons.”
“Well, not a lot… but we did fight dragons more than once, yes.” Wiz’s gaze became distant as she no doubt lost herself in old memories. “It’s been a long time.”
“Has it?” I asked, genuinely curious. “I mean, no offense, but you don’t look very old. Just how old were you when-”
“I am twenty years old.”
“… You’re what?”
“I am twenty years old,” Wiz repeated, her voice sweet, but with just a hint of steel in it.
“Uh… Okay.” Okay, that’s definitely a lie. If she spent years as an adventurer, then retired to open up a store, and her adventuring days were “years ago”… She has to be at least thirty, right? She doesn’t look more than twenty-five at the most, but heck, that goes for me, too, and I’m thirty-four… Is she embarrassed about her age, or something?
In the end, I decided not to comment on it. “So, tell me about your adventuring days. You had companions, right? What were they like?”
“My companions…” Wiz smiled wistfully. “You know, I haven’t seen them since we disbanded. Isn’t that weird? We stay in touch through letters, but…”
“I’m sorry if I brought up bad memories.”
“Oh, no, it’s not like that at all. I just… miss them, sometimes.”
“I understand,” I said, nodding. We continued on in silence for a few moments, and then I asked, “What are their names?”
“Brad and Rosary.”
“Kazumaaaaaaaa!” Aqua said in a high-pitched voice. “I’m bored!”
“It has been several hours,” Megumin said in agreement. “Shouldn’t we stop and rest?”
“Come on, you guys,” Kazuma said, turning to his companions. “This is the last cemetery on our patrol. We’re almost done! You can keep going for a little longer, right?”
Aqua let out a disgruntled noise, but nodded. “I suppose…”
“I’m fine with continuing,” Darkness piped up. “Be it day or night, my body-”
“Well, we’d better get going,” Kazuma said, hurrying his steps. “Come on, people.”
Darkness huffed. “He ignored me…” Then she hugged herself and shivered. “So cruel…”
Doing his level best to ignore the Crusader, Kazuma turned to Aqua. “You still don’t sense any undead, right?”
The goddess shook her head. “None. Which is weird, ‘cause we’ve passed all those open graves…”
“Perhaps the Necromancer is bringing together an army of undead?” Megumin suggested. “If so, he wouldn’t stick around here. Most likely, he has a hideout somewhere. A place where he’s laying low, waiting for the opportune moment to strike…”
Kazuma shuddered. “Don’t say stuff like that, Megumin. What if he suddenly shows up?”
“There is no way the Necromancer would show up to attack a small party like ours,” Megumin said resolutely, though Kazuma noted she was suddenly looking around intently. “No chance whatsoever that we’d suddenly find ourselves surrounded by an army of the undead…”
Kazuma stabbed an accusing finger at the girl. “Hey, shut up! Stop trying to trigger flags!”
“Oh, come on, Kazuma,” Aqua said. “I don’t sense any undead anywhere near here. What’re the odds of the Necromancer suddenly digging himself out of whatever hole he’s hiding in?”
“Not you, too!”
Beldia groaned as he slowly dug his way out of the pile of rocks he’d been buried under. The birds’ spell had summoned a huge rock from the sky, and the impact had broken it into smaller pieces, effectively burying Beldia under a pile of rubble.
… Not that he’d known until just now. In truth, the Dullahan was surprised just to be alive; his armor was dented and broken, and if not for his regeneration the same could no doubt have been said about his body. Hell, he didn’t doubt for a second that his body had been dented and broken until shortly before he woke up.
Still, the deformation of his armor meant there was a plethora of unpleasant poking going on all over the place, especially whenever he moved, hence why digging his way out took so damn long.
Eventually, though, he did, and was presented with pitch-black darkness all around; it must’ve been well past midnight at this point. Just how long was he out?
Strangely enough, as he surveyed the battlefield, Beldia noted a distinct lack of bodies. Had the goblin-things taken them somewhere? If he could find out where, then maybe he could try raising them agai-
No. There was absolutely no point in coming at the Overlord’s forces with mere skeletons and zombies; Beldia had had that bashed into him beyond all shadow of doubt. If he wanted to take the castle, he needed a much larger, stronger force.
… Or perhaps a much smaller one. Turning to look at the castle, Beldia’s eyes narrowed as surveyed the walls. There were torches here and there, and he could see shapes patrolling the battlements, but overall the walls were unguarded most of the time. A single infiltrator, working under cover of darkness, might be able to get in where an army could not.
Unfortunately, Beldia had no infiltrators.
“I’m coming for you, Overlord,” the Dullahan whispered. “If I can’t beat your army, then I’ll just have to beat you.”
With that, Beldia crept away from the pile of rubble – and the crater it was in – and headed toward the castle. The going was slow, not only because he was trying to keep quiet, but also because he couldn’t move very fast with all the dents in his armor poking into his body.
Damn those birds!
Several hours after we had first set out, Wiz and I had almost completed our circuit of the communal cemeteries outside Axel’s walls. We had stopped here and there to examine the open graves, but beyond residual traces of necromantic magic, neither of us had found any real clues as to the identity or whereabouts of the culprit.
Not that I was complaining. After all, the more time spent alone in the dark the more time spent in conversation. I had probably learned more about Wiz on this night alone than I had in all our earlier-
“Look, there’s someone over there!” Wiz said suddenly, pointing.
“Eh?” I asked and looked at where she was pointing. Sure enough, I could make out movement at the far end of the cemetery, and coming closer. “Oh, hey, you’re right.”
The shopkeeper’s voice was a furtive whisper as she said, “Do you think it’s the Necromancer?”
I moved to rub my chin, only to stop when my hand struck armor. Right, I was wearing a helmet. I shrugged. “Well, it might be, but- Oh, wait.”
Now that they were a bit closer than before, I could make out no less than four figures in the dark… all of them familiar to me.
Wiz gave me a confused look. “What’s the matter?”
I chuckled. “It’s fine, I know those guys,” I said in reply to her question. “I’m gonna prank ‘em. Go hide over there and don’t come out until I call you, okay?”
“Huh? Um, o-okay, but don’t take too long, all right? We still need to find that Necromancer.”
“No worries, this won’t take long. Quickly, hide!”
As Wiz went off to hide behind a tombstone, I rubbed my hands together gleefully.
“This is gonna be sweet!”
“Hey, Kazuma, I feel a chill,” Aqua said, looking around. “I don’t think this is just any old Necromancer…”
“Hey, don’t say stuff like that,” Kazuma admonished his companion. It was late at night, now, and the clouds had parted to allow the moon to cast everything in a silvery glow. “This place is creepy enough as it is, yeah? Besides, none of the other adventurers that have patrolled recently have actually seen anything… What are the odds we’d run into-”
“Who dares disturb my slumber?”
As if on cue, a dark shape rose up from behind a nearby tombstone. It was clad in menacing-looking plate armor, and had an evil, yellow glow emanating from its eyes. Its words were spoken with a ghastly, inhuman drawl.
Kazuma felt a chill run down his spine. “W-what?! Is this the Necromancer?!”
Aqua’s eyes narrowed. “No, that’s not a Necromancer,” she said slowly, “that’s… a Lich! I can sense it! You cannot hide from my divine senses, you evil undead!”
“A… a Lich? Isn’t that the most powerful undead of all?!” Oh, crap! We’re so dead!
Behind him, Megumin and Darkness let out gasps of alarm.
“Don’t worry so much, Kazuma,” Aqua said proudly, stepping forward. “I’ll handle this in a jiffy! Turn Undead!”
The light of Aqua’s spell washed over the armored figure… and quickly died away, having done absolutely nothing.
“You cannot hurt me, Priest,” the Lich said, focusing its glowing eyes on the goddess. “I am beyond your meager strength.”
“W-what? Turn Undead didn’t work?!” Aqua’s eyes were wide. “W-well, then, try this! Exorcism!”
Again, Aqua’s spell washed over the Lich, and just like its predecessor, it had no visible effect whatsoever.
“Foolish mortal. Your puny magics are no match for me.”
“I-I’m not a mortal! I’m a goddess!” Aqua protested, though Kazuma could tell from her voice that she was more than a bit shaken. She turned to him, then, her eyes brimming with tears born of fear. “K-K-K-Kazuma! This is no ordinary Lich! It’s some kind of super Lich!”
“A super Lich…” Darkness breathed. It was clear she was getting excited. “A Lich is known as the ‘No-Life King’… the most powerful of all undead. And this is an even stronger type…”
Before Kazuma could ask what the hell she was doing, the Crusader rushed forward to interpose herself between the Lich and the rest of her party members. As she did, she drew her sword.
“Stand back, everyone! I will face this Lich myself!” Darkness’ voice was proud, but the delighted look in her eyes as she looked back over her shoulder told Kazuma her head was in totally the wrong place. “J-just leave me behind, okay? D-don’t hesitate! Just r-run!”
Kazuma stifled a groan. “Darkness, you-”
At that moment, Darkness let out a shout, nay, a battle cry, and dashed toward the Lich, her greatsword held high above her head. The Lich drew its own sword and prepared to meet her.
“Darkness, look out! You-”
Alas, Kazuma’s warning fell on deaf ears. Darkness swung her sword, and…
“Did… did you just miss?” the Lich asked, dumbfounded, the inhuman drawl in its voice apparently forgotten in the face of the sheer absurdity of the situation presenting itself.
Darkness, for her part, stood to the side and slightly behind the Lich, her arms out, her sword having struck nothing but air. As Kazuma watched, the Crusader’s face went several shades darker, almost certainly from blushing.
“K… Kazuma!” Darkness called out without looking back. “This Lich is indeed far too powerful for me! I… I will sacrifice myself to buy you time! You three should run and not look back!”
As Kazuma debated doing just that, Megumin spoke up.
“Hey, Kazuma, we’re not really gonna leave her behind, are we?” she asked worriedly. “True, it’s a Lich, but if I can just get off my Explosion, then maybe we could-”
“No!” Kazuma barked at the Arch-wizard. “I told you, if you blow up the cemetery, we don’t get paid!”
“But, Kazuma,” Aqua interjected, her voice whiny as she cowered behind a tombstone, “this Lich is something else… Even my divine magic won’t work on him!”
Kazuma grit his teeth. Indeed, it looked like they didn’t stand a chance, so retreat was probably the best option, not that he’d complain about running away in the face of such an adversary. Heck, just looking at the Lich gave him chills! But at the same time, he felt a tugging at his conscience at the thought of leaving their Crusader behind…
“Okay, seriously, did you just miss again?” the Lich asked incredulously as Darkness took another swing, only to miss when the Lich… did absolutely nothing. “Where the hell did you learn how to use a sword? I’ve seen kids with better swings than that!”
Darkness flinched. “Grk! This Lich is not only powerful, but ruthless, as well! Such brutal honesty…!”
“… What’s wrong with you?” the Lich deadpanned… and then, finally, something clicked inside Kazuma’s head. He’d heard that voice before. And, now that he looked closer, that armor looked familiar, as well.
“It’s you!”
Beldia had – with some difficulty – made his way across the moat to scale the wall. He had to pause underneath the parapet as a guard walked past, but then climbed on top of the rampart.
So far, so good. Except…
The glowing goblin-thing that he’d encountered two weeks before was walking along the rampart, right towards him! It was only a matter of seconds before the phosphorescent light would reach him, at which point the alarm would be raised and Beldia’s mission ruined beyond all hope of salvage!
The Dullahan backed up slowly even as he looked around wildly for a hiding place, but found none. He couldn’t drop down from the edge of the rampart without alerting the guards to his presence with the noise, and the only steps leading down that he could see were past the glowing goblin-thing…
… but there was one other path open to him. There were several buildings scattered around the courtyard besides the central keep, and one of them was built right up against the outer wall. If he could make his way onto the roof and hide on the other side of the ridge…
Said and done. Moving as quietly as he could manage while still staying out of the glowing goblin-thing’s circle of illumination, Beldia made his way to the edge of the rampart and slowly – and very cautiously – stepped onto the roof. The wood was old and creaky, but at that moment there was a blast of wind in the night that, thankfully, blew away from the goblin-thing and carried the noise away. Moving quickly, the roof creaking in protest under his feet, Beldia moved across the roof and away from the light.
It worked! He silently thanked the wind for aiding him in his mission as he hid on the other side of the roof’s ridge. Holding his head up in his hands, he peered over the edge. The glowing goblin-thing was going back toward the gatehouse, now, and none of the other guards were anywhere nearby, and the wind was still blowing. Perfect.
Beldia rose. Alas, in the dark he didn’t immediately notice the slightly darker patch of wood and inadvertently stepped on it. The instant he raised his other foot to continue walking, his weight was concentrated on that dark patch… which turned out to be rotten.
The Dullahan let out a rather comical yelp as the roof gave way and he fell into the building below. He smacked into a wooden beam, his body jackknifing from the impact, and slowly slid off it before crashing onto a half-rotten wooden cart filled with hay. The hay softened the impact somewhat, but the force from the drop was still enough to break the old, rotten wood and so the entire thing collapsed into a heap with a loud crash.
Beldia groaned as he dragged himself to his feet, spitting some hay out of his mouth as he did. Even with the wind blowing outside, there was a good chance the guards heard all that. He had to hide! Or, better yet, find a way out before they-
“Kweh.”
Slowly, oh so very slowly, Beldia turned. There, watching him with curious eyes, was one of the thrice-damned fire birds. Why was it here? Why-
“Wark!” he heard then, and the Dullahan turned his head over in his grip to see another fire bird stand up from behind a low wall. It was munching on something green, and pieces of hay fell away from its head as it straightened.
Wait a minute. Hay. Low walls. A wooden cart. Food.
… Was this a stable?
“Woheeho!” yet another bird called out, and it was then that a good dozen of the crimson-feathered monstrosities rose up from behind the many low walls dividing the stalls. One by one, they turned to look at Beldia.
“Um… Nice birdies?”
The fire bird that had first noticed the Dullahan flapped its wings, its curious expression turning into one of anger. “KWEH!”
Beldia screamed.
“Aww, you found me out?” I asked as I looked at Kazuma. I drooped my head in exaggerated defeat and raised my arms over my head. “Fine, fine. It’s me.”
I put my hands on either side of my helmet and removed it, then held it under one arm. In the face of the utterly furious look Kazuma was directing at me, I couldn’t help but grin.
“How you doin’, Kazuma?”
“You asshole!” he all but shouted. “I almost pissed myself! What the hell?!”
Of course, he wasn’t the only one taken aback by my little stunt. Darkness was staring at me, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Megumin’s eyes were shining as she looked at me, probably as furious as Kazuma. And Aqua-
“You! I knew you couldn’t be human! Filthy Lich!”
“No, I’m totally human,” I deadpanned. As far as I know, anyway. “That’s why your spells didn’t work, duh.”
The goddess blinked and lost her haughty attitude in an instant. Her eyes widened and her mouth formed an “o” as she popped the bottom of her fist into her palm. “Oh! That explains it!”
I shook my head at the display of delayed clarity and turned back to Kazuma. “So, what are you guys up to?”
My junior’s lips formed a thin line before he spoke. “We-”
“We came here to fight an evil Necromancer!” Megumin declared, striking a pose with one foot on top of a tombstone. The fingers of her left hand – the one not holding her staff – formed a “V” shape as she passed it across her face. “Art thou friend or foe in the face of this our quest, Overlord? Also, that armor is totally cool. Where did you get it? Is it enchanted? Do you have a demon sealed inside your-”
The diminutive Arch-wizard’s words were cut off when Kazuma put a hand over her face. A she began sputtering her outrage at the interruption, the capital-A Adventurer gave me a sour look.
“Yeah, we took a quest to patrol the cemetery in case whoever’s been stealing all these bodies came back. Is that why you’re here?”
I blinked. Somebody put a quest out? Damn! “Kinda, yeah. A friend of mine asked me to look into it, so here I am. I didn’t know there was a quest, though.”
A triumphant look passed over Kazuma’s face. “Ah, so that’s it! Well, then, since we’re here on official business and you’re not, clearly we’re the seniors here.”
I shot him a flat look. “Seriously? The whole junior/senior thing is that important to you?”
Kazuma’s face flushed slightly. “A-anyway, have you seen anything?”
“Nah. You guys are the first ones I’ve run into since coming out here. It’s been pretty dead. Pardon the pun.”
Kazuma sighed. Why did he sound so relieved? “I see. Well, we’re on the last leg of our patrol, so we’re just gonna call it a night.”
“What? But, Kazuma, what about the Lich?!” Aqua exclaimed suddenly.
“Obviously you were just sensing Jason,” Kazuma replied, waving it off. “Or maybe his Gauntlet, I don’t know. Either way, we’re out. I wanna go to bed.”
“Now wait a minute!” Megumin protested. She turned to me. “I have so many questions! Like, why were you- Hey! Let go of my cape!”
Kazuma did not. “Let’s go home.”
“But-!”
I watched as Kazuma dragged the protesting Megumin away, Aqua following close behind them while poking her tongue out at me, a gesture I promptly returned. Chuckling at the taken-aback expression on her face, I turned to the final member of their little group.
“Shouldn’t you go, as well?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at Darkness. “They’re leaving you behind, you know.”
“Eh? Ah! Everyone, please wait for me!” Darkness sheathed her sword and hurried after her party members. Once she caught up to them she looked back over her shoulder at me, a strange look in her eye as her gaze roamed over my armor to linger on my Gauntlet.
What was up with that? Well, whatever. After watching them go, I turned my back and walked over to where I’d left Wiz.
It was then I was treated to a sight that sent me instantly into panic mode.
“Wiz! What happened? Why are you transparent?!”
“H-help…”
Without thinking, I summoned a life force orb and gently pushed it into Wiz’s chest. Immediately, her body solidified, and the glazed-over look in her eyes gave way to the clarity of consciousness. She blinked.
“Eh? What just happened?” she asked. She sat up and looked at me. “What did you just…?”
I smacked my lips. “Ah… I guess I should explain that, huh?” I said slowly. “But more importantly, why were you transparent, just now?”
Wiz averted her gaze, a troubled look on her face. “That’s… a long story.”
I sat down. In a soft voice, I said, “I’ve got time.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it when she saw my face. She looked away again, her gaze growing distant.
“It all started a few months before I quit adventuring…”
After what felt like an eternity of getting trampled, pecked and set on fire, Beldia crashed through the door leading out of the stable, the old and partially rotten wood offering little resistance to his armored form. Once outside, he looked around wildly before his eyes settled on the castle wall. The alarm had been raised and he could see goblin-things running around all over the place, not to mention he was currently on fire.
He had no choice but to retreat.
Knocking over a single goblin-thing that came running at him, the Dullahan staggered up the stone steps leading up to the top of the rampart. There he was met with three of the goblin-things – the two guards who had given him such trouble over the past few weeks, and the glowing one, as well. Pushing past them, screaming, Beldia ran toward the parapet and leapt.
For a brief moment, he was airborne, falling like a shooting star from the top of the wall into the moat below. The waters, while dangerous in their own right, at least served to put out the flames. If he could just crawl ashore quickly, then-
His foot struck something. Feeling around with his free hand, Beldia’s fingers eventually closed around a familiar shape.
Huh. So this was where his sword went. Apparently the guards hadn’t lied about not having it, after all.
Gripping the hilt, Beldia hefted the sword over his shoulder and slowly walked across the bottom of the moat. Reaching the brick wall marking the edge, he started to climb upward. While the moat wasn’t all that deep, the fact that he was holding not only his head but now also his sword made the climb a difficult one, to say the least. Still, he was eventually able to make his way out of the water.
Beldia seriously considered just lying down and letting his regeneration take care of his fresh injuries, but he knew that the goblin-things were hot on his trail. Hell, if he was unlucky, they would send out those fucking birds after him.
If he never saw another bird in his life, it would still be too soon.
And so, the Dullahan half-staggered, half-ran away from the Overlord’s castle, sword in hand. Behind him, he heard the gate crash open, followed by angry bird calls.
“No… No!” He hurried his steps, but between his injuries and the dents in his armor, moving quickly was all but impossible. And he could feel the ground begin to shake as the birds came closer… “No!”
His knees folded and he fell. Not forward, but backward, landing flat on his back; raising his head, he saw two of the bird riders go past, carrying a rope between them. Had they used it to fell him?
“Well, well, well,” a rider said as he slowed his bird next to the Dullahan. “If it aren’t stupid salesperson general of salesperson army.”
Beldia groaned. Was this it? Was this the end for him? Looking back, he’d had a good run, even if he didn’t get to do all the things he wanted. Hell, he never even got to finish the investigation the Demon King sent him to-
The Demon King!
Beldia groaned. Over the course of his feud with the unseen Overlord, Beldia had completely forgotten about his mission! He was a failure as a Demon King army general! Nay, as a Knight! If only he had his- Wait a second.
I have my sword!
First giggling, then cackling, Beldia stabbed the tip of his sword into the ground and used it as a crutch to stand up. Looking around at the fire bird riders surrounding him, he let out a guffaw.
“Finally, I’ll have my revenge!” the Dullahan bellowed. “First I’ll deal with you, and then your master! Tonight, you will pay for-”
“What’s going on here? Who is this?”
Beldia paused. That voice didn’t belong to any of the goblin-things. Slowly, puzzled, he turned around… and was met with an armored figure, not entirely unlike himself. Well, except for the obvious difference that the figure’s armor wasn’t dented everywhere, and his head was on his shoulders as opposed to carried under his arm.
“He are stupid salesperson we is telling you about, Overlord,” one of the guards called out from the rampart, prompting Beldia to turn around, red flashing before his vision.
“I’m not- Wait, ‘Overlord’?” Beldia turned back to the newcomer. Sure enough, he looked the part of a force of evil, what with the sinister-looking armor, the face obscured by shadows, and the faintly glowing eyes… even if he was a bit short. “Are you really… the Overlord?”
The man nodded. “That’s right.”
“… So we finally meet face to face.”
“Indeed we do,” the Overlord agreed, nodding. “I’ve heard much about you from my Minions.”
“Your Minions,” Beldia ground out, “have put me through hell. For weeks now, I’ve been trying to meet with you, but every time they’ve turned me away. They threw rocks at me! And birds! And a fucking cow!”
The man chuckled good-naturedly. “Yeah, they can get a bit overzealous in following my commands. You saw the sign, didn’t you? But you know what? I’m in a good mood, and your courage and persistence in the face of adversity has impressed me.”
With those words, the Overlord put his hand on Beldia’s shoulder and fixed the Dullahan with an honest, forthright gaze.
“What are you selling?”
End Chapter Nineteen
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Chapter Nineteen: In The Dark Of The Night
It was late in the evening, nearing midnight, and Kazuma and his party were making their way through one of the communal cemeteries outside the town walls. There was partial cloud cover, and at the moment there was little light save that provided by the lanterns they carried.
“Kazuma, do you think we’re going to run into some powerful undead?” Darkness asked, looking around with an eager smile on her face.
“I hope not,” Kazuma replied. He gave the woman a half-lidded stare. “And don’t sound so thrilled, Darkness.”
As the party’s resident Crusader started sputtering denials, Kazuma turned to Aqua.
“Hey, you said you can sense undead, didn’t you? Do you sense anything right now?”
Aqua tilted her head and hummed thoughtfully. “No… I don’t sense anything. I don’t think there are any undead nearby.”
Kazuma let out a breath. “Well, that’s a relief.”
“It is not!” Megumin interjected. Striking a pose, she added, “If there is a horde of undead, I will make them regret coming back to life with a powerful Explosion! Oh, I hope we find them soon!”
“I told you, if we blow up the cemetery we don’t get paid,” Kazuma said lamely.
“Then why’d you even bring me, if not to see my Explosion in action?!”
Kazuma blinked and slowed down. “That’s a good question, actually. You’re pretty useless on this kind of quest.”
“U-useless?!” Megumin stammered, taken aback. “How dare you! I’m the genius of the Crimson Magic Clan! I’m not useless!”
“Calm down, Megumin,” Kazuma said soothingly. “If we run into a horde of undead, we’ll lure them outside the cemetery and then you can blow them up with Explosion. How’s that?”
“… That’s fine, but don’t think I’ll just forget your earlier words!”
Kazuma rolled his eyes. “Hey, Aqua, keep on the lookout for undead, okay? If you sense anything, let us know right away.”
“Of course! No undead is gonna get past my divine senses!”
Okay, Jason, keep it cool. This isn’t a date, exactly, but still: don’t fuck up.
I glanced over at Wiz, taking in the shopkeeper’s form. Despite the relative darkness, my dark vision let me see her well enough, although the overall lack of contrast meant I couldn’t really make out the details of her dark robe. Her face, on the other hand, stood out, looking even paler in the dark and allowing me to see her features in great detail.
“Hmm? Is there something on my face?” Wiz asked, meeting my gaze. I started.
“Ah, no, nothing. I was just, uh…” I glanced upward, to the horns adorning the top of Wiz’s hood, “looking at your, uh, horns. Kind of an unusual design choice, yeah?”
Wiz giggled and touched one horn with her hand. The horn was about the length of my index finger, and fit neatly in her hand. “They’re fangs, actually. From a dragon my adventuring companions and I slew years ago. I had never fought a dragon before, and I was so scared because it was so big and scary… Of course, it was only a Dragon Whelp, so looking back on it, I definitely overreacted.”
I quirked an eyebrow at that. “You make it sound like you’ve fought a lot of dragons.”
“Well, not a lot… but we did fight dragons more than once, yes.” Wiz’s gaze became distant as she no doubt lost herself in old memories. “It’s been a long time.”
“Has it?” I asked, genuinely curious. “I mean, no offense, but you don’t look very old. Just how old were you when-”
“I am twenty years old.”
“… You’re what?”
“I am twenty years old,” Wiz repeated, her voice sweet, but with just a hint of steel in it.
“Uh… Okay.” Okay, that’s definitely a lie. If she spent years as an adventurer, then retired to open up a store, and her adventuring days were “years ago”… She has to be at least thirty, right? She doesn’t look more than twenty-five at the most, but heck, that goes for me, too, and I’m thirty-four… Is she embarrassed about her age, or something?
In the end, I decided not to comment on it. “So, tell me about your adventuring days. You had companions, right? What were they like?”
“My companions…” Wiz smiled wistfully. “You know, I haven’t seen them since we disbanded. Isn’t that weird? We stay in touch through letters, but…”
“I’m sorry if I brought up bad memories.”
“Oh, no, it’s not like that at all. I just… miss them, sometimes.”
“I understand,” I said, nodding. We continued on in silence for a few moments, and then I asked, “What are their names?”
“Brad and Rosary.”
“Kazumaaaaaaaa!” Aqua said in a high-pitched voice. “I’m bored!”
“It has been several hours,” Megumin said in agreement. “Shouldn’t we stop and rest?”
“Come on, you guys,” Kazuma said, turning to his companions. “This is the last cemetery on our patrol. We’re almost done! You can keep going for a little longer, right?”
Aqua let out a disgruntled noise, but nodded. “I suppose…”
“I’m fine with continuing,” Darkness piped up. “Be it day or night, my body-”
“Well, we’d better get going,” Kazuma said, hurrying his steps. “Come on, people.”
Darkness huffed. “He ignored me…” Then she hugged herself and shivered. “So cruel…”
Doing his level best to ignore the Crusader, Kazuma turned to Aqua. “You still don’t sense any undead, right?”
The goddess shook her head. “None. Which is weird, ‘cause we’ve passed all those open graves…”
“Perhaps the Necromancer is bringing together an army of undead?” Megumin suggested. “If so, he wouldn’t stick around here. Most likely, he has a hideout somewhere. A place where he’s laying low, waiting for the opportune moment to strike…”
Kazuma shuddered. “Don’t say stuff like that, Megumin. What if he suddenly shows up?”
“There is no way the Necromancer would show up to attack a small party like ours,” Megumin said resolutely, though Kazuma noted she was suddenly looking around intently. “No chance whatsoever that we’d suddenly find ourselves surrounded by an army of the undead…”
Kazuma stabbed an accusing finger at the girl. “Hey, shut up! Stop trying to trigger flags!”
“Oh, come on, Kazuma,” Aqua said. “I don’t sense any undead anywhere near here. What’re the odds of the Necromancer suddenly digging himself out of whatever hole he’s hiding in?”
“Not you, too!”
Beldia groaned as he slowly dug his way out of the pile of rocks he’d been buried under. The birds’ spell had summoned a huge rock from the sky, and the impact had broken it into smaller pieces, effectively burying Beldia under a pile of rubble.
… Not that he’d known until just now. In truth, the Dullahan was surprised just to be alive; his armor was dented and broken, and if not for his regeneration the same could no doubt have been said about his body. Hell, he didn’t doubt for a second that his body had been dented and broken until shortly before he woke up.
Still, the deformation of his armor meant there was a plethora of unpleasant poking going on all over the place, especially whenever he moved, hence why digging his way out took so damn long.
Eventually, though, he did, and was presented with pitch-black darkness all around; it must’ve been well past midnight at this point. Just how long was he out?
Strangely enough, as he surveyed the battlefield, Beldia noted a distinct lack of bodies. Had the goblin-things taken them somewhere? If he could find out where, then maybe he could try raising them agai-
No. There was absolutely no point in coming at the Overlord’s forces with mere skeletons and zombies; Beldia had had that bashed into him beyond all shadow of doubt. If he wanted to take the castle, he needed a much larger, stronger force.
… Or perhaps a much smaller one. Turning to look at the castle, Beldia’s eyes narrowed as surveyed the walls. There were torches here and there, and he could see shapes patrolling the battlements, but overall the walls were unguarded most of the time. A single infiltrator, working under cover of darkness, might be able to get in where an army could not.
Unfortunately, Beldia had no infiltrators.
“I’m coming for you, Overlord,” the Dullahan whispered. “If I can’t beat your army, then I’ll just have to beat you.”
With that, Beldia crept away from the pile of rubble – and the crater it was in – and headed toward the castle. The going was slow, not only because he was trying to keep quiet, but also because he couldn’t move very fast with all the dents in his armor poking into his body.
Damn those birds!
Several hours after we had first set out, Wiz and I had almost completed our circuit of the communal cemeteries outside Axel’s walls. We had stopped here and there to examine the open graves, but beyond residual traces of necromantic magic, neither of us had found any real clues as to the identity or whereabouts of the culprit.
Not that I was complaining. After all, the more time spent alone in the dark the more time spent in conversation. I had probably learned more about Wiz on this night alone than I had in all our earlier-
“Look, there’s someone over there!” Wiz said suddenly, pointing.
“Eh?” I asked and looked at where she was pointing. Sure enough, I could make out movement at the far end of the cemetery, and coming closer. “Oh, hey, you’re right.”
The shopkeeper’s voice was a furtive whisper as she said, “Do you think it’s the Necromancer?”
I moved to rub my chin, only to stop when my hand struck armor. Right, I was wearing a helmet. I shrugged. “Well, it might be, but- Oh, wait.”
Now that they were a bit closer than before, I could make out no less than four figures in the dark… all of them familiar to me.
Wiz gave me a confused look. “What’s the matter?”
I chuckled. “It’s fine, I know those guys,” I said in reply to her question. “I’m gonna prank ‘em. Go hide over there and don’t come out until I call you, okay?”
“Huh? Um, o-okay, but don’t take too long, all right? We still need to find that Necromancer.”
“No worries, this won’t take long. Quickly, hide!”
As Wiz went off to hide behind a tombstone, I rubbed my hands together gleefully.
“This is gonna be sweet!”
“Hey, Kazuma, I feel a chill,” Aqua said, looking around. “I don’t think this is just any old Necromancer…”
“Hey, don’t say stuff like that,” Kazuma admonished his companion. It was late at night, now, and the clouds had parted to allow the moon to cast everything in a silvery glow. “This place is creepy enough as it is, yeah? Besides, none of the other adventurers that have patrolled recently have actually seen anything… What are the odds we’d run into-”
“Who dares disturb my slumber?”
As if on cue, a dark shape rose up from behind a nearby tombstone. It was clad in menacing-looking plate armor, and had an evil, yellow glow emanating from its eyes. Its words were spoken with a ghastly, inhuman drawl.
Kazuma felt a chill run down his spine. “W-what?! Is this the Necromancer?!”
Aqua’s eyes narrowed. “No, that’s not a Necromancer,” she said slowly, “that’s… a Lich! I can sense it! You cannot hide from my divine senses, you evil undead!”
“A… a Lich? Isn’t that the most powerful undead of all?!” Oh, crap! We’re so dead!
Behind him, Megumin and Darkness let out gasps of alarm.
“Don’t worry so much, Kazuma,” Aqua said proudly, stepping forward. “I’ll handle this in a jiffy! Turn Undead!”
The light of Aqua’s spell washed over the armored figure… and quickly died away, having done absolutely nothing.
“You cannot hurt me, Priest,” the Lich said, focusing its glowing eyes on the goddess. “I am beyond your meager strength.”
“W-what? Turn Undead didn’t work?!” Aqua’s eyes were wide. “W-well, then, try this! Exorcism!”
Again, Aqua’s spell washed over the Lich, and just like its predecessor, it had no visible effect whatsoever.
“Foolish mortal. Your puny magics are no match for me.”
“I-I’m not a mortal! I’m a goddess!” Aqua protested, though Kazuma could tell from her voice that she was more than a bit shaken. She turned to him, then, her eyes brimming with tears born of fear. “K-K-K-Kazuma! This is no ordinary Lich! It’s some kind of super Lich!”
“A super Lich…” Darkness breathed. It was clear she was getting excited. “A Lich is known as the ‘No-Life King’… the most powerful of all undead. And this is an even stronger type…”
Before Kazuma could ask what the hell she was doing, the Crusader rushed forward to interpose herself between the Lich and the rest of her party members. As she did, she drew her sword.
“Stand back, everyone! I will face this Lich myself!” Darkness’ voice was proud, but the delighted look in her eyes as she looked back over her shoulder told Kazuma her head was in totally the wrong place. “J-just leave me behind, okay? D-don’t hesitate! Just r-run!”
Kazuma stifled a groan. “Darkness, you-”
At that moment, Darkness let out a shout, nay, a battle cry, and dashed toward the Lich, her greatsword held high above her head. The Lich drew its own sword and prepared to meet her.
“Darkness, look out! You-”
Alas, Kazuma’s warning fell on deaf ears. Darkness swung her sword, and…
“Did… did you just miss?” the Lich asked, dumbfounded, the inhuman drawl in its voice apparently forgotten in the face of the sheer absurdity of the situation presenting itself.
Darkness, for her part, stood to the side and slightly behind the Lich, her arms out, her sword having struck nothing but air. As Kazuma watched, the Crusader’s face went several shades darker, almost certainly from blushing.
“K… Kazuma!” Darkness called out without looking back. “This Lich is indeed far too powerful for me! I… I will sacrifice myself to buy you time! You three should run and not look back!”
As Kazuma debated doing just that, Megumin spoke up.
“Hey, Kazuma, we’re not really gonna leave her behind, are we?” she asked worriedly. “True, it’s a Lich, but if I can just get off my Explosion, then maybe we could-”
“No!” Kazuma barked at the Arch-wizard. “I told you, if you blow up the cemetery, we don’t get paid!”
“But, Kazuma,” Aqua interjected, her voice whiny as she cowered behind a tombstone, “this Lich is something else… Even my divine magic won’t work on him!”
Kazuma grit his teeth. Indeed, it looked like they didn’t stand a chance, so retreat was probably the best option, not that he’d complain about running away in the face of such an adversary. Heck, just looking at the Lich gave him chills! But at the same time, he felt a tugging at his conscience at the thought of leaving their Crusader behind…
“Okay, seriously, did you just miss again?” the Lich asked incredulously as Darkness took another swing, only to miss when the Lich… did absolutely nothing. “Where the hell did you learn how to use a sword? I’ve seen kids with better swings than that!”
Darkness flinched. “Grk! This Lich is not only powerful, but ruthless, as well! Such brutal honesty…!”
“… What’s wrong with you?” the Lich deadpanned… and then, finally, something clicked inside Kazuma’s head. He’d heard that voice before. And, now that he looked closer, that armor looked familiar, as well.
“It’s you!”
Beldia had – with some difficulty – made his way across the moat to scale the wall. He had to pause underneath the parapet as a guard walked past, but then climbed on top of the rampart.
So far, so good. Except…
The glowing goblin-thing that he’d encountered two weeks before was walking along the rampart, right towards him! It was only a matter of seconds before the phosphorescent light would reach him, at which point the alarm would be raised and Beldia’s mission ruined beyond all hope of salvage!
The Dullahan backed up slowly even as he looked around wildly for a hiding place, but found none. He couldn’t drop down from the edge of the rampart without alerting the guards to his presence with the noise, and the only steps leading down that he could see were past the glowing goblin-thing…
… but there was one other path open to him. There were several buildings scattered around the courtyard besides the central keep, and one of them was built right up against the outer wall. If he could make his way onto the roof and hide on the other side of the ridge…
Said and done. Moving as quietly as he could manage while still staying out of the glowing goblin-thing’s circle of illumination, Beldia made his way to the edge of the rampart and slowly – and very cautiously – stepped onto the roof. The wood was old and creaky, but at that moment there was a blast of wind in the night that, thankfully, blew away from the goblin-thing and carried the noise away. Moving quickly, the roof creaking in protest under his feet, Beldia moved across the roof and away from the light.
It worked! He silently thanked the wind for aiding him in his mission as he hid on the other side of the roof’s ridge. Holding his head up in his hands, he peered over the edge. The glowing goblin-thing was going back toward the gatehouse, now, and none of the other guards were anywhere nearby, and the wind was still blowing. Perfect.
Beldia rose. Alas, in the dark he didn’t immediately notice the slightly darker patch of wood and inadvertently stepped on it. The instant he raised his other foot to continue walking, his weight was concentrated on that dark patch… which turned out to be rotten.
The Dullahan let out a rather comical yelp as the roof gave way and he fell into the building below. He smacked into a wooden beam, his body jackknifing from the impact, and slowly slid off it before crashing onto a half-rotten wooden cart filled with hay. The hay softened the impact somewhat, but the force from the drop was still enough to break the old, rotten wood and so the entire thing collapsed into a heap with a loud crash.
Beldia groaned as he dragged himself to his feet, spitting some hay out of his mouth as he did. Even with the wind blowing outside, there was a good chance the guards heard all that. He had to hide! Or, better yet, find a way out before they-
“Kweh.”
Slowly, oh so very slowly, Beldia turned. There, watching him with curious eyes, was one of the thrice-damned fire birds. Why was it here? Why-
“Wark!” he heard then, and the Dullahan turned his head over in his grip to see another fire bird stand up from behind a low wall. It was munching on something green, and pieces of hay fell away from its head as it straightened.
Wait a minute. Hay. Low walls. A wooden cart. Food.
… Was this a stable?
“Woheeho!” yet another bird called out, and it was then that a good dozen of the crimson-feathered monstrosities rose up from behind the many low walls dividing the stalls. One by one, they turned to look at Beldia.
“Um… Nice birdies?”
The fire bird that had first noticed the Dullahan flapped its wings, its curious expression turning into one of anger. “KWEH!”
Beldia screamed.
“Aww, you found me out?” I asked as I looked at Kazuma. I drooped my head in exaggerated defeat and raised my arms over my head. “Fine, fine. It’s me.”
I put my hands on either side of my helmet and removed it, then held it under one arm. In the face of the utterly furious look Kazuma was directing at me, I couldn’t help but grin.
“How you doin’, Kazuma?”
“You asshole!” he all but shouted. “I almost pissed myself! What the hell?!”
Of course, he wasn’t the only one taken aback by my little stunt. Darkness was staring at me, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Megumin’s eyes were shining as she looked at me, probably as furious as Kazuma. And Aqua-
“You! I knew you couldn’t be human! Filthy Lich!”
“No, I’m totally human,” I deadpanned. As far as I know, anyway. “That’s why your spells didn’t work, duh.”
The goddess blinked and lost her haughty attitude in an instant. Her eyes widened and her mouth formed an “o” as she popped the bottom of her fist into her palm. “Oh! That explains it!”
I shook my head at the display of delayed clarity and turned back to Kazuma. “So, what are you guys up to?”
My junior’s lips formed a thin line before he spoke. “We-”
“We came here to fight an evil Necromancer!” Megumin declared, striking a pose with one foot on top of a tombstone. The fingers of her left hand – the one not holding her staff – formed a “V” shape as she passed it across her face. “Art thou friend or foe in the face of this our quest, Overlord? Also, that armor is totally cool. Where did you get it? Is it enchanted? Do you have a demon sealed inside your-”
The diminutive Arch-wizard’s words were cut off when Kazuma put a hand over her face. A she began sputtering her outrage at the interruption, the capital-A Adventurer gave me a sour look.
“Yeah, we took a quest to patrol the cemetery in case whoever’s been stealing all these bodies came back. Is that why you’re here?”
I blinked. Somebody put a quest out? Damn! “Kinda, yeah. A friend of mine asked me to look into it, so here I am. I didn’t know there was a quest, though.”
A triumphant look passed over Kazuma’s face. “Ah, so that’s it! Well, then, since we’re here on official business and you’re not, clearly we’re the seniors here.”
I shot him a flat look. “Seriously? The whole junior/senior thing is that important to you?”
Kazuma’s face flushed slightly. “A-anyway, have you seen anything?”
“Nah. You guys are the first ones I’ve run into since coming out here. It’s been pretty dead. Pardon the pun.”
Kazuma sighed. Why did he sound so relieved? “I see. Well, we’re on the last leg of our patrol, so we’re just gonna call it a night.”
“What? But, Kazuma, what about the Lich?!” Aqua exclaimed suddenly.
“Obviously you were just sensing Jason,” Kazuma replied, waving it off. “Or maybe his Gauntlet, I don’t know. Either way, we’re out. I wanna go to bed.”
“Now wait a minute!” Megumin protested. She turned to me. “I have so many questions! Like, why were you- Hey! Let go of my cape!”
Kazuma did not. “Let’s go home.”
“But-!”
I watched as Kazuma dragged the protesting Megumin away, Aqua following close behind them while poking her tongue out at me, a gesture I promptly returned. Chuckling at the taken-aback expression on her face, I turned to the final member of their little group.
“Shouldn’t you go, as well?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at Darkness. “They’re leaving you behind, you know.”
“Eh? Ah! Everyone, please wait for me!” Darkness sheathed her sword and hurried after her party members. Once she caught up to them she looked back over her shoulder at me, a strange look in her eye as her gaze roamed over my armor to linger on my Gauntlet.
What was up with that? Well, whatever. After watching them go, I turned my back and walked over to where I’d left Wiz.
It was then I was treated to a sight that sent me instantly into panic mode.
“Wiz! What happened? Why are you transparent?!”
“H-help…”
Without thinking, I summoned a life force orb and gently pushed it into Wiz’s chest. Immediately, her body solidified, and the glazed-over look in her eyes gave way to the clarity of consciousness. She blinked.
“Eh? What just happened?” she asked. She sat up and looked at me. “What did you just…?”
I smacked my lips. “Ah… I guess I should explain that, huh?” I said slowly. “But more importantly, why were you transparent, just now?”
Wiz averted her gaze, a troubled look on her face. “That’s… a long story.”
I sat down. In a soft voice, I said, “I’ve got time.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it when she saw my face. She looked away again, her gaze growing distant.
“It all started a few months before I quit adventuring…”
After what felt like an eternity of getting trampled, pecked and set on fire, Beldia crashed through the door leading out of the stable, the old and partially rotten wood offering little resistance to his armored form. Once outside, he looked around wildly before his eyes settled on the castle wall. The alarm had been raised and he could see goblin-things running around all over the place, not to mention he was currently on fire.
He had no choice but to retreat.
Knocking over a single goblin-thing that came running at him, the Dullahan staggered up the stone steps leading up to the top of the rampart. There he was met with three of the goblin-things – the two guards who had given him such trouble over the past few weeks, and the glowing one, as well. Pushing past them, screaming, Beldia ran toward the parapet and leapt.
For a brief moment, he was airborne, falling like a shooting star from the top of the wall into the moat below. The waters, while dangerous in their own right, at least served to put out the flames. If he could just crawl ashore quickly, then-
His foot struck something. Feeling around with his free hand, Beldia’s fingers eventually closed around a familiar shape.
Huh. So this was where his sword went. Apparently the guards hadn’t lied about not having it, after all.
Gripping the hilt, Beldia hefted the sword over his shoulder and slowly walked across the bottom of the moat. Reaching the brick wall marking the edge, he started to climb upward. While the moat wasn’t all that deep, the fact that he was holding not only his head but now also his sword made the climb a difficult one, to say the least. Still, he was eventually able to make his way out of the water.
Beldia seriously considered just lying down and letting his regeneration take care of his fresh injuries, but he knew that the goblin-things were hot on his trail. Hell, if he was unlucky, they would send out those fucking birds after him.
If he never saw another bird in his life, it would still be too soon.
And so, the Dullahan half-staggered, half-ran away from the Overlord’s castle, sword in hand. Behind him, he heard the gate crash open, followed by angry bird calls.
“No… No!” He hurried his steps, but between his injuries and the dents in his armor, moving quickly was all but impossible. And he could feel the ground begin to shake as the birds came closer… “No!”
His knees folded and he fell. Not forward, but backward, landing flat on his back; raising his head, he saw two of the bird riders go past, carrying a rope between them. Had they used it to fell him?
“Well, well, well,” a rider said as he slowed his bird next to the Dullahan. “If it aren’t stupid salesperson general of salesperson army.”
Beldia groaned. Was this it? Was this the end for him? Looking back, he’d had a good run, even if he didn’t get to do all the things he wanted. Hell, he never even got to finish the investigation the Demon King sent him to-
The Demon King!
Beldia groaned. Over the course of his feud with the unseen Overlord, Beldia had completely forgotten about his mission! He was a failure as a Demon King army general! Nay, as a Knight! If only he had his- Wait a second.
I have my sword!
First giggling, then cackling, Beldia stabbed the tip of his sword into the ground and used it as a crutch to stand up. Looking around at the fire bird riders surrounding him, he let out a guffaw.
“Finally, I’ll have my revenge!” the Dullahan bellowed. “First I’ll deal with you, and then your master! Tonight, you will pay for-”
“What’s going on here? Who is this?”
Beldia paused. That voice didn’t belong to any of the goblin-things. Slowly, puzzled, he turned around… and was met with an armored figure, not entirely unlike himself. Well, except for the obvious difference that the figure’s armor wasn’t dented everywhere, and his head was on his shoulders as opposed to carried under his arm.
“He are stupid salesperson we is telling you about, Overlord,” one of the guards called out from the rampart, prompting Beldia to turn around, red flashing before his vision.
“I’m not- Wait, ‘Overlord’?” Beldia turned back to the newcomer. Sure enough, he looked the part of a force of evil, what with the sinister-looking armor, the face obscured by shadows, and the faintly glowing eyes… even if he was a bit short. “Are you really… the Overlord?”
The man nodded. “That’s right.”
“… So we finally meet face to face.”
“Indeed we do,” the Overlord agreed, nodding. “I’ve heard much about you from my Minions.”
“Your Minions,” Beldia ground out, “have put me through hell. For weeks now, I’ve been trying to meet with you, but every time they’ve turned me away. They threw rocks at me! And birds! And a fucking cow!”
The man chuckled good-naturedly. “Yeah, they can get a bit overzealous in following my commands. You saw the sign, didn’t you? But you know what? I’m in a good mood, and your courage and persistence in the face of adversity has impressed me.”
With those words, the Overlord put his hand on Beldia’s shoulder and fixed the Dullahan with an honest, forthright gaze.
“What are you selling?”
End Chapter Nineteen
Chapter 19.5 (Omake 1): In The Dark Of The Night (Reprise)
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Blessings To This Wonderful Overlord!
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Author's Notes: Set to the tune of "In The Dark Of The Night", from the movie Anastasia.
Chapter 19.5 (Omake One): In The Dark Of The Night (Reprise)
At night, in the highest room of the tallest tower of the Dark Castle, I was surrounded by dozens of Minions of all colors. They had makeshift wings strapped to their arms and were running around, singing and dancing.
“““““In the dark of the night~! In the dark of the night~!”””””
I raised my arms in the air. “Come my Minions, rise for your Master, let your Evil shine~!”
I pointed at the open window, my other hand holding a picture of Wiz. “Find her now, yes, fly ever faster~!”
The Minions gathered together in a file and rushed out the window, their arms flapping as they sang. “““““In the dark of the night~! In the dark of the night~! In the dark of the night~!”””””
“She’ll be mine~!” I finished dramatically, staring at the picture.
There was silence, then. After a few moments as I stood there, my arms in the air, I heard a single Minion speak.
“Er, Overlord?”
“What is it, Lampy?” I asked, lowering my arms and looking toward the window, where the glowing Minion was hunched over the windowsill.
“Minions not are fly very well,” he said apologetically.
I made my way over to join him. Looking down, I saw a pile of Minions at the foot of the tower, their bodies broken and occasionally twitching. I scowled.
“Dammit, I knew I should’ve given them balloons…”
End Chapter 19.5
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Author's Notes: Set to the tune of "In The Dark Of The Night", from the movie Anastasia.
Chapter 19.5 (Omake One): In The Dark Of The Night (Reprise)
At night, in the highest room of the tallest tower of the Dark Castle, I was surrounded by dozens of Minions of all colors. They had makeshift wings strapped to their arms and were running around, singing and dancing.
“““““In the dark of the night~! In the dark of the night~!”””””
I raised my arms in the air. “Come my Minions, rise for your Master, let your Evil shine~!”
I pointed at the open window, my other hand holding a picture of Wiz. “Find her now, yes, fly ever faster~!”
The Minions gathered together in a file and rushed out the window, their arms flapping as they sang. “““““In the dark of the night~! In the dark of the night~! In the dark of the night~!”””””
“She’ll be mine~!” I finished dramatically, staring at the picture.
There was silence, then. After a few moments as I stood there, my arms in the air, I heard a single Minion speak.
“Er, Overlord?”
“What is it, Lampy?” I asked, lowering my arms and looking toward the window, where the glowing Minion was hunched over the windowsill.
“Minions not are fly very well,” he said apologetically.
I made my way over to join him. Looking down, I saw a pile of Minions at the foot of the tower, their bodies broken and occasionally twitching. I scowled.
“Dammit, I knew I should’ve given them balloons…”
End Chapter 19.5
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
I know, right? At least in this story he gets the screen time he deserves.
Chapter 20: A Roller Coaster Ride of Emotions, Part I
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Blessings To This Wonderful Overlord!
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Chapter Twenty: A Roller Coaster Ride Of Emotions, Part I
“… then he ran away screaming. I don’t know what’s wrong with the traveling merchants in this kingdom, but that guy was just fucking weird. He totally tripped and lost his head.” Seriously, though, first Wiz, then that guy? Are all intelligent undead in this world merchants? Fucking weird.
I had just finished telling Luna about my trip and the events after my return, having gone to the Guild after picking up the Minions’ armor from Edward and sending the Minions home with it. I had left out everything concerning Wiz, though, as the shopkeeper had sworn me to secrecy regarding her… status… as an undead. Undead – intelligent or not – weren’t looked kindly upon in this world. Which made sense, as the majority were unintelligent beasts bent on killing anyone and anything that crossed their path, but still, you’d think people could be at least a little open-minded. In any case…
Luna put a hand over her mouth and giggled. “It sounds like he had issues.”
I snorted. “Issues? More like subscriptions.”
“What?”
“Oh, sorry, that one only makes sense in English.”
“… Is that the language you speak in your home country?”
“One of them, yeah,” I said dismissively. “Anyway, I can feel my neck starting to burn from all the stares, so I’m gonna go.”
Luna mewled in disappointment. “Already?”
“Luna,” I said, flicking a thumb over my shoulder, “there’s, like, ten guys in line behind me.”
The Guild employee looked past me and sweatdropped. “O-oh, right.”
“Talk to ya later,” I said, giving her a wink and a wave before I turned and walked away from the counter.
“Finally!”
I turned to the speaker. “You say something?” I asked menacingly, my eyes glowing.
The man shrank back. “N-nothing!”
“Damn right,” I said, then grinned behind my helmet and continued walking. With Luna down, I had finally informed everyone I was back in town. Now, to go find a quest and- Oh, hey, was that Kazuma and Aqua over there? Oh, and they had their backs to me…
I giggled internally as I steered my steps away from the quest board and over to where the pair sat. Making sure to walk quietly – which wasn’t as hard as you’d think with full plate on, as long as you moved slowly – I snuck up behind them. They were eating, which helped keep my approach unnoticed. I reached out and grabbed each adventurer by their hair and slowly, but forcefully, pulled them back so they were looking upward. At the same time I leaned forward and looked down upon them, my eyes glowing.
“I have come for your souls.”
As expected, my fellow adventurers screamed in abject terror.
I laughed and let go, then quickly seated myself across from the pair. “So, how you guys doin’?”
Aqua was teary-eyed. “Jerk! Demon! Brute!”
“I… hate you… so much,” Kazuma ground out between gasping breaths. His hair was disheveled and his expression haunted. I couldn’t help but laugh again.
“Aww, I like you, too!”
“Are you sure you’re not a Devil?” Aqua asked as she straightened her hair. She didn’t look quite as disheveled and out-of-sorts as Kazuma, but was still very much disturbed.
“Why? You wanna dance under the pale moonlight?”
“What?” The goddess blinked, while next to her Kazuma groaned.
“Just ignore him. If we do, he’ll go away,” he said sourly.
“Whaddya think I am, a product of your imagination?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. “I’m not. Or am I?” I wiggled my fingers at him. “Wooo-ooooo-oooh!”
“… Please just go away.”
“Don’t worry, I will,” I said soothingly. “But not yet. So what’re you guys up to?”
“We’re trying to have lunch.”
“Nice, nice. Äta bör man annars dör man~.”
“What?”
“Nothing. So, got any quests lined up?”
Aqua opened her mouth to answer-
“No, Aqua, don’t! It’s a trick!” Kazuma exclaimed, slapping a hand over her mouth before she could speak. “If we tell him, he’s gonna try and come along! Or ambush us once we get there!”
“Oh, please, as if I have that kind of time,” I said, huffing and crossing my arms over my chest. Note to self: Look up good ambush points on the map, later.
Aqua pushed Kazuma’s hand away. “Get your hands off me! I can take care of myself!”
“Of course you can,” I said, nodding. “It’s not like there are ‘super Liches’ around that’re immune to your powers or anything.”
“I…” Aqua trailed off. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Suddenly, she shot to her feet, her chair clattering to the floor behind her. She was glowing with a pale blue light. “Sacred Turn Undead!”
I calmly regarded her as the spell washed over me and then faded. Blinking a few times to clear away the spots in my vision, I smiled. “Nice light show. You here all week?”
The goddess bit her lip in consternation. It was rather cute, actually. “Damn it.”
“Well, I’m gonna grab a quest,” I said and rose. “See ya guys ‘round.”
“I hope not,” I heard Kazuma mutter, to which I chuckled. Looking over my shoulder as I walked away, I saw Aqua pick up her chair. When she noticed me looking, she blew me a raspberry. For a goddess, she sure liked to act like a kid. I laughed loudly.
“Ah, quest board, my old friend,” I said once I reached my goal. “What presents do you have for me today…?”
Let’s see… “Teach my son-”, no. “Magical experiments-”, no… “I am looking for those who are tender to their party members.” Huh. This is still here?
I reached out to touch the paper. Instantly, I felt an intense pressure at the back of my head, like someone was trying to bore a hole in my skull through gaze alone. Yup, she was still here.
Weird… Why doesn’t she have a party, yet? I mean, she’s not Megumin’s sister, and they’re apparently not partying up, either, so it’s not like she’s trying to protect Megumin like I thought way back when…
I tore the paper from the board. A ways behind me, I heard a gasp.
Let’s see what kind of person you are.
I turned around and let my eyes roam the room. As expected, I soon spotted the Crimson Magic Clanner sitting alone in a corner, at a table for two with… a house of cards on the table? Huh. I took a deep breath, then walked on over.
“Hey. Yunyun, right? Mind if I sit?”
The woman instantly panicked. “H-h-h-how do you know my name?”
“I talked to Megumin,” I said casually as I sat, deciding to take the question as an invitation. “I heard you were still looking for a party.”
Yunyun’s eyes widened. “M-Megumin told you…?”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. She hadn’t, exactly, but sometimes you could extrapolate from incomplete data. “So. You’re a Crimson Magic Clanner?”
“A-ah, yes! Yes, I am!” She stood up and awkwardly bowed while lowering her gaze shyly to the floor. “M-my name is Yunyun, a-and I’m a Crimson Magic Clanner, and I’m, um… and I’m an Arch-wizard… a-a-and my favorite food is-”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down,” I said, holding my hands up in a placating manner. “Take a deep breath. We just met. No need to go overboard.”
“Y-yes, I’m sorry.” With that, the Arch-wizard plopped herself back down in her seat, her hands in her lap, her arms straight, and her gaze fixed on the middle of the table. Wow, this girl was tense.
“Anyway,” I said after a moment’s awkward silence, “I’m Jason. Nice to meet you.”
Yunyun started and looked up at me. “Ah! Yes! N-nice to meet you, too!”
I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring manner as our eyes met. “Right. Your class is Arch-wizard, right? What’s your level?”
“I-I’m level 6,” she said hesitantly. “Um, what’s yours…?”
“I’m level 21.”
Silence fell. After a moment, Yunyun rose.
“I-I’m sorry for wasting your time.” She started to dismantle the house of cards, her face despondent.
“Now, hold on just a minute,” I said. “Sit your ass back down.”
“Huh?” she asked, giving me a perplexed look. “What?”
“Sit down,” I repeated, a little softer this time. “Now, you listen to me: just because I’m a higher level doesn’t mean we can’t party up. Hell, I can probably help you level up quicker, if nothing else.”
Yunyun looked at me, her mouth forming an “o”. After a moment, she found her voice. “Y-you will? I-I mean, you can?”
“Sure. XP goes to whoever lands the killing blow, right? I can wear monsters down for you so you can finish them off. Standard grinding technique, yeah?”
Yunyun blinked several times, then gave me an odd look. “Are you… Have you ever visited the Crimson Magic Village?”
Now it was my turn to blink. “Huh? Yeah, like a week ago. Why?”
“… So that’s why…” she murmured, almost too softly for me to hear.
“So that’s why what?” I asked.
“U-um,” she said uncertainly, “this might sound strange, but… while you were in the village… what did you think of… of the way people… behaved?”
“What, the over-the-top posing and introductions and all that?”
Yunyun mutely nodded.
“Well, at first I thought it was annoying,” I said earnestly, “but it kinda grew on me after a bit. Not really my thing, though.” Well, except to mess with people…
“R-really? So, you don’t care either way? You don’t think it’s… weird?”
“Oh, it’s weird alright. But so what? Everyone’s weird in their own way.”
Yunyun was looking straight at me, now, her eyes shining with surprise, and… hope? “S-so you don’t care if someone is… weird?”
I hesitated. The way she said that was… a little alarming. “Well… I guess not?”
She murmured something I couldn’t make out.
“Come again?”
“Ah, no, never mind,” she said quickly. “A-anyway, my name is Yunyun, and I’m a Crimson Magic Clanner, a-and an Arch-wizard, and-”
“Yeah, I know, you already told me,” I deadpanned. Shockingly, this girl seemed to be even more socially awkward than I was. Hell, she actually reminded me of a younger me! Although, I didn’t remember stuttering quite so much…
“I-I’m sorry.”
“And stop apologizing,” I said, shaking my head. “Really, it’s getting a bit annoying. Stand up for yourself! Be proud of who you are and all that.”
“I’m sor- I-I mean… um…” Yunyun trailed off, the struggle of trying to come up with something to say showing clearly on her face. Wow.
“Relax,” I said. “Take a deep breath and start over. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s fine.”
She looked on the verge of tears, now. “I-I, um, o-okay. I-if you say so.”
I nodded. “I do. Now, on to business: you’re an Arch-wizard. That means you know Advanced Magic, right? What kind of…”
I trailed off when I saw the horrified look on Yunyun’s face. Did something just happen?
“I… I don’t…” She trailed off, mumbling.
“What? You don’t what?”
Yunyun lowered her head. “I… I… I-don’t-know-Advanced-Magic-I-only-know-Intermediate-Magic-I’m-so-sorry!!”
I blinked. I took a couple moments to interpret her rapid-fire words, then sighed. “I see. Well, that’s fine.”
Her eyes were wide as saucers as she whipped her head up and stared at me. “Eh?!”
“It’s fine. You’re only level 6, right? Intermediate Magic’s more than enough considering your level.”
Yunyun’s mouth was ajar. “Wha…?”
“Only idiots strive for perfection,” I said, leaning back. “If you can’t accept anything less than the best, then you’ll never get anything done. Trust me, I know that from personal experience.”
“Oh… I-I see.”
“So, we gonna party up?”
“You… you still want to? E-even though I only know Intermediate Magic…?”
I shrugged. “Sure. You’ll learn Advanced Magic one day, won’t you?”
“I.. Of course, I… I will! Yes!”
“Good enough for me. Welcome to the party, Yunyun.” I smiled warmly and extended my right hand, intending to shake hers… only to pause when I saw something very alarming, indeed. “Are… are you crying?”
“I’m… I’m… Waaaaaaaaaah!”
“Whoa, wait! Wh-why are you crying?! Hey!”
“Look at that guy… Now he’s making a girl cry! He’s pure evil, I tell you!”
Kazuma sighed as he followed Aqua’s gaze. Indeed, over on the other side of the Guild Hall, Jason was sitting in front of a girl bawling her eyes out. The Overlord was getting dirty looks from all around, female ones especially. Did he just break up with the poor girl? Kazuma wouldn’t put it past the guy to be a successful womanizer on top of everything else.
“Damn you… Cheat items, power-leveling, and now you’re plowing the field, too?!” Kazuma clenched his right hand into a fist. “That should be me fighting girls off with a stick, not you! Where’s my cute girlfriend, huh?!”
“Eh? Did you say something, Kazuma?” Aqua asked, turning around.
“Nothing. I said nothing.”
“Hey, why do you look so pissed? Did something happen?”
“No, nothing’s happened. That’s the problem!”
Aqua tilted her head in confusion. “Huh?”
Curse you, Overlord! I won’t be your “junior” forever! You’ll see, or my name isn’t Kazuma Satou…!
“Hey, why are you shaking your fist at the ceiling? Why is your face like that? Seriously, did something happen when I wasn’t looking?”
Tears streamed down Kazuma’s face. One day I’ll have you call me “senior”! I swear it!
“A-are you sure about this, Mister Jason?”
“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be? And please, just call me ‘Jason’.”
“O-okay, but… it’s so big…”
“Don’t worry, it’s only the two of us here. Nobody’s gonna see if you end up slimy.”
“W-wait! You said something very concerning just now! Wh-why would I end up slimy?”
“Well, you see, these things produce a very slimy substance, and if you’re not careful you might end up covered in it.”
“That sounds horrible! Why do people do this?!”
“Well, it’s easy money, for one thing.”
“E-easy money?”
“Oh, yes. You see, Yunyun, in life, money is very important indeed. It’s a sad state of affairs when you think about it, but there you go. At least this way, you can earn a fair amount of it quickly… with a minor risk of getting covered in slimy stuff.”
“I-I’m not sure I wanna do this…”
“Just trust me. Hell, you might even come to enjoy it.”
“O-okay, if you say so…”
“I do. Now, prepare yourself! Spread your legs – yes, just like that – and take a deep breath. Now, put your hands up like this – yes, that’s right – and start pulling just like I explained before.”
“D-do I really have to? This feels very strange.”
“You want to be an adventurer, don’t you?”
“Y-yeah, but…”
“Then go ahead and do it. It’ll be good practice for later in life, trust me.”
“O-okay, then. H-here I go!”
With that, Yunyun took a deep breath, cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted, “C-come on over here, you slimy, over-sized amphibian! Y-your mother was a- I-I’m sorry, Jason, I can’t do this! It’s so mean!”
“Well, it’s fine,” I said, looking at the nearest Giant Toad, which had already turned and was hopping towards us. “Just that bit of shouting was enough. Now, what did I tell you this was called?”
“P-pulling aggro?”
“That’s right. Good girl,” I said, nodding appreciatively. “Knowing how and when to pull aggro is very important, no matter if you’re going solo or if you’re in a party. Of course, normally it’s the role of the party tank to handle that, but it’s good if everyone in the party knows how to. Remember that! Now, I’ll take care of this first one, just to show you how it’s done, and then you can pull another. Okay?”
“Y-yes, sir!”
“Very good. Stand behind me, if you please.”
Yunyun moved to stand behind me, and then I waited for the Giant Toad to come within range. Once it did, I let loose with what was fast becoming my favorite spell, outside of Evil Presence.
“Fireball!” I shouted, and an instant later there was a meaty thwump followed by a whoosh as the fiery projectile impacted its target and flames washed over the unfortunate amphibian. It collapsed, quite dead. Naturally, I absorbed the life force, the Gauntlet’s jewel briefly glowing blue. “One Giant Toad, lightly grilled!” I said gleefully. “Alright, Yunyun, pull another. Now it’s your turn. And remember: Giant Toads are weak to fire spells!”
“O-okay!” The Arch-wizard turned in the direction of the nearest living amphibian, took a deep breath, and shouted, “Get over here, you slimy- I-I’m sorry, I-I just can’t do it! Do I really have to learn this?”
“Yes, you do,” I said resolutely, crossing my arms over my chest. “However, it seems even that tiny bit of shouting worked. It’s probably because your voice is higher-pitched than mine, so it carries better. Or maybe they just don’t like high-pitched noises in general.” Hey, there’s even a third one hopping this way! Hmm… Maybe we should try whistling, next? “Anyway, it’s hopping on over, so be ready with the fire magic!”
“R-right! Here I go! … Fireball!”
As expected, Yunyun’s spell easily killed the giant amphibian. Somewhat less expected, however, was that while my kill could easily be called “lightly grilled”, Yunyun’s was perhaps better described as “extra crispy”.
Damn, and she’s only level six… Crimson Magic Clanners are something else, alright. I gave a big smile behind my helmet as the Arch-wizard turned around. “Excellent work, Yunyun! Now, let’s kill three more and then we can turn this quest in at the Guild!”
Yunyun smiled and clenched her hands into fists, nodding happily. “O-okay!”
“One thing, though.”
“Wh-what?”
“Never forget to keep an eye on your surroundings.”
“Eh?” Yunyun asked… an instant before a long, slimy, prehensile tongue curled itself around her midsection and pulled her off her feet. “Aaaaaaaah-!”
I cupped my right hand by my mouth and shouted, “Don’t worry, I’ll get you out and hose you off, after!”
“I don’t wanna have to be hosed o-” And then she was swallowed. I sighed wistfully.
They grow up so fast!
“Five Giant Toads dead,” Luna said once Yunyun and I returned to the Guild. “That’s 25,000 eris. Along with the quest reward, that comes to 125,000 total.”
“Thank you very much, Luna!” I said happily. “Yunyun, thank the nice lady.”
“L-lady?” Luna repeated, eye twitching slightly. I winked at her, to show I didn’t mean anything by it. Yunyun, meanwhile, started bowing frantically next to me.
“Th-thank you very much!” she stammered, looking down shyly.
Aw, she was so cute! It was hard to believe she was… Hmm. Actually, I didn’t know how old she was. She looked nineteen, maybe even twenty, but didn’t Megumin claim they were the same age? Then again, she might’ve been lying out of jealousy over their… slight differences in physical development.
No joke, Yunyun looked to be five, six years older, easy.
I felt a tug on my arm, then, right before Luna leaned over and whispered into my ear, or rather, into the side of my helmet. “Hey. What’s with this girl?”
“She’s an adventurer,” I whispered back. “An Arch-wizard, if you can believe it. Powerful, too. Her name is Yunyun.”
“I know all that, I’ve seen her around the Guild,” came Luna’s dismissive reply. “Why is she with you?”
“Oh, I saw her party-up request on the board. We talked, and we decided to join up. Now I’m showing her the ropes, since she’s pretty new.”
Luna frowned. “Okay, but-”
“U-um, Mister Jason?”
“Just Jason, please,” I said, turning to Yunyun. “What’s up?”
The Arch-wizard lowered her gaze as she started poking her index fingers together. “Um, I-I was wondering… I-if you’re free, if maybe you would like to… Um…” Yunyun swallowed. “I-if you would like to… play a game with me?”
“A game? Sure, why not?”
“R-really?! G-great!” She smiled, looking about ready to start bouncing around with happiness.
Oh, gods, she was so fucking cute! How could I say no?
I gave Luna a nod in goodbye and started walking after Yunyun when suddenly something occurred to me. I grinned. “Hey, you wanna come over to my place and meet the Minions?”
At my words I heard a choking gasp coming from the direction of the Guild counter, but when I looked over Luna was nowhere to be seen. Weird. Maybe she had something she needed to do? I reoriented on Yunyun, who was looking at me with wide eyes.
“M-Minions?” she asked in wonder.
“Oh, yeah. They’re also a part of the party. Sort of.”
“Eh?! I-I have more party members aside from you?!”
“Yup. So, whaddya say? Wanna meet ‘em?”
“B-b-but what if they don’t like me?”
“Oh, you’ll be fine. Trust me. Hell, they might even wanna play that game of yours.”
“You live in a castle?!” Yunyun asked, staring up in wonder as we approached the Dark Castle about an hour later.
“Yup. Well, ‘squatting’ might be more accurate, but sure, it’s home.” I waved to the guards as we approached. “And there’s the Minions. Two of ‘em, anyway.”
“Oi! Da Overlord are back! Raise da portcullis!”
“Portcullis go up!”
“Lower da drawbridge!”
“Drawbridge go down!”
“Open da gate!”
“Gate go open!”
“Um… Why are they shouting like that?” Yunyun asked timidly.
I sighed. “You know what? I have no idea. They probably think it’s fun or something.”
“O-oh, I see…” It didn’t sound like she did, honestly, but hey, she was probably being polite.
“Welcome back to Dark Castle, Overlord,” Lampy greeted us on the other side of the gate. His gaze lingered on Yunyun. “You is bring guest?”
“Yes, I brought a guest,” I said, turning around. “Yunyun, this is Lampy. Lampy, Yunyun.”
“H-hello,” Yunyun said, giving a tiny wave, which Lampy returned with a big grin and a rapid side-to-side flapping of one hand.
“Hellos, Yunyun!”
Yunyun tugged at my arm, then, and I leaned closer as she whispered, “U-um, are they… Are they goblins?”
“Distant relation,” I semi-confirmed. “Don’t call them goblins, though; they don’t like it. They’re Minions.”
“O-oh… Okay. Um, why is he glowing…?”
“Overlord!” a voice called out, then, and I turned to see Char approaching.
“Ah, Char,” I greeted the Red. “How are things?”
“Things is very good, Overlord!” he supplied, straightening and shooting off a salute with one hand. I idly wondered where he picked that up. “Hole in ceiling are fixed and Chocobos are fed and ready to run!”
“Good, good,” I said, nodding in appreciation of the Minion’s efforts. “I don’t think we’ll be doing too much running today. Although… Hey, Yunyun, wanna see the Chocobos?”
The Arch-wizard blinked. “What are Chocobos?”
“They is da best mount a Minion could ask for,” Char replied before I could. I chuckled.
“Yeah, something like that. Come on, the stable’s right over here.”
Char ran off ahead of us, and by the time Yunyun and I reached the stables he was leading two Chocobos out of it.
Yunyun’s eyes went wide at the sight. “They’re birds?” she asked in wonder. “They’re so big… a-and red! I’ve never seen anything like it!”
“Yeah, they’re pretty awesome,” I said, and I admit, I probably felt a little too smug at her reaction. I gestured to the nearest bird. “Go ahead, say hello.”
“Eh? I can?”
“Sure. They’re friendly.” For the most part…
“A-all right, then.” Carefully, looking ready to bolt at a moment’s notice, Yunyun approached the Chocobo, her right hand held out as if she was expecting a handshake. “H-hello! I’m Yunyun. How are-”
Before she could finish, the Chocobo bit down on her head and started swinging her about. After a few moments it let go, leaving the Arch-wizard to fall flat on her butt.
“Wh-wh-wh-what did I do wrong?!” Yunyun was teary-eyed… and covered in saliva. “Why do you hate me?!”
I bit back a laugh. “He doesn’t hate you,” I said. “That’s just what Chocobos do, for some reason. I think it might be to put their scent on you, or something. It means he considers you a friend.”
Yunyun’s eyes looked about ready to pop out of their sockets as she stared up at the Chocobo. “A… f-friend? You think I’m a friend?!”
“Kweh!” the Chocobo chirped happily.
“… You’re not gonna cry are you?” I asked cautiously.
Yunyun turned away, wiping at her face with her sleeve. “N-no…”
I shook my head. This girl was way too emotional for her own good. “Hey, you wanna ride him?”
“Huh?”
“You wanna ride him?” I repeated. “That’s what Chocobos are used for, after all. Look at Char over there.” I pointed to where Char was sitting on top of the other Chocobo, presumably the same one he’d ridden on that first day. When Yunyun looked over, the Red Minion waved.
She got to her feet. “I… I can ride- Eh?!”
In the middle of the girl’s question, the Chocobo ran a half-circle around her, dipped its head low, and rushed her, putting its head between her legs and straightening. The shocked Yunyun landed unsteadily on its back.
“Wha- what’s going on?!”
“He wants you to ride him,” I said, smiling slightly as I leaned against the wall of the stable.
“H-how do I steer?”
“Well, first off, you put your legs behind his wings. He needs those to maneuver, you see.”
“O-okay… Like this?”
“That’s right. Now, remember to hold on tight, okay? I haven’t had the chance to have any saddles made, so it’s bareback or nothing. You steer with your legs, like a horse.”
“I-I’ve never ridden a ho-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
I started when the Chocobo suddenly took off like a rocket. “Wait, come back! Yunyun!”
Before I or anyone could do much of anything, the Chocobo jumped, bounced off the side of the stable, and leapt over the castle wall.
“Oh, that’s not good,” I murmured as Yunyun’s screams faded into the distance. I turned to Char. “Char, get everyone mounted up. We’re going after her!”
“That’s it!” Beldia cursed, his voice hoarse, as he walked down the road. Since he was traveling in daylight, he’d had to disguise himself… which he accomplished by dressing himself in old bandages and donning a dirty cloak and hood, with his head secured to his shoulders with the aid of the bandages. “I’ve had it! Even going back in disgrace is better than this… this torture!”
It galled him to admit it, but the Overlord had him beat. Whether in the ferocity of his Minions or the terror of his psychological warfare, the Overlord was on a whole other level. To think, that just four words delivered at the right time, with the right tone and inflection, could inflict such massive damage… Beldia had spent most of the night and morning running around the countryside, screaming his head off. Literally, as he’d kept dropping it. Truly, the Overlord was an existence of pure evil the likes of which the world had never known.
Beldia shook himself. No, he would not think about that. The Demon King’s mission be damned, the Dullahan would go back, admit his defeat, and then maybe the Demon King would grant him an army he could use to crush the Overlord once and for all… Surely, after hearing his re-telling of events, the Demon King would understand the threat they all faced?
Unfortunately, the journey to the Demon King’s lands was a long and arduous one, and it would take him- Okay, why was that blue-haired girl coming the other way staring at him so intently?
“Hey, hey, Kazuma,” Aqua whispered to Kazuma. “See that guy over there? The one in the cloak and the bandages?”
“What about him?” Kazuma asked, disinterested. He and the rest of their party were on their way back to Axel after finishing up a quest to rid a farm of giant insects that kept eating the crops… Unfortunately, they’d gotten caught in the middle when said crops decided to fight back against the aggressors. While they had finished the quest successfully, it had not been fun, and right now the young Adventurer simply wanted to cash in on what little reward remained, drown his sorrows in drink, and go to bed. Alas, they had one, final, hill to climb before they could lay eyes on the town.
“There’s something weird about him… I can sense it! I think he might be- Huh? Do you hear screaming?”
Kazuma, Aqua, Megumin – who was riding on Darkness’ back, having exhausted her mana when she blew up most of the farmers’ fields and reduced the quest reward to almost nothing – and Darkness all turned to look as someone rapidly approached them… Someone who was letting off a drawn-out, high-pitched scream.
“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!”
The passing of something bright red with something mostly black and brown on top threw up a cloud of dust and almost knocked Kazuma off his feet from the wind pressure alone. As one, the four adventurers stared after the high-speed apparition.
“W-was that Yunyun?”
“Was that the girl from this morning?”
“W-was she crying?”
“Was that a Chocobo?!”
“Gangway!”
Kazuma and gang barely threw themselves aside as not one, but a whole herd – or possibly flock – of the red birds came rushing by after the first. Getting back on his feet and staring, Kazuma saw red-skinned Minions riding each and every one of the birds… except for one.
The Adventurer’s hands clenched into fists. ““Overlord…!”” Then he blinked upon noticing his speech being echoed… by Aqua.
“So it’s not enough to scare everyone you come across and make an innocent girl cry, but now you have to chase her down, too? Unforgivable! As a goddess, I cannot ignore this injustice!”
Kazuma stared. Was Aqua… actually acting like a goddess, for once? “Hey, what are you-”
Alas, Aqua ran off before he could finish. While she obviously couldn’t match the speed of those red Chocobos, her high stats ensured that she was going at a clip far beyond what Kazuma himself could achieve.
As the goddess disappeared over the hill, Megumin smacked Darkness over the head. “Hey! Go after them!”
“Eh? Why?” Darkness asked, looking over her shoulder at the Arch-wizard. Then her eyes widened. “Y-you think he’s trying to kidnap that girl? A-and bring her to a secluded location, where he will do all sorts of unspeakable things to her?! Is that why she’s crying?!”
“I don’t think so,” Megumin said, shaking her head. “I know that girl; she cries over everything. However, where the Overlord goes, cool things are bound to happen! Also, I want a closer look at those birds… and the demons riding them. Now, go!”
“Y-yes, ma’am!”
“I’m not a ma’am! I’m seventeen!”
“Sorry~!”
And so, Kazuma was left in the dust. He grit his teeth. “Even my own party members…!”
““Damn you, Overlord! … Eh?””
Kazuma blinked and turned his head to the side… to where the cloaked stranger was picking himself up off the road after being trampled by the Chocobos. The two stared at one another.
“Did you just say… ‘Overlord’?” the stranger asked, his voice hoarser than any Kazuma had ever heard in his life.
“I did… Did you?”
“Uh-uh.”
“Then… he’s made you suffer, too?”
“He has.”
“… Is that why you’re covered in bandages?”
“That’s… part of it.”
Silence fell. After a few moments, Kazuma spoke again.
“Hey… You wanna get a drink?”
The stranger sniffled beneath his hood. “I’d like that, yes.”
“I’m Kazuma, by the way.”
“I’m Bel...phron. Belphron, that’s my name.”
“Nice to meet you, Belphron.”
“You as well, Kazuma.”
End Chapter Twenty
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Chapter Twenty: A Roller Coaster Ride Of Emotions, Part I
“… then he ran away screaming. I don’t know what’s wrong with the traveling merchants in this kingdom, but that guy was just fucking weird. He totally tripped and lost his head.” Seriously, though, first Wiz, then that guy? Are all intelligent undead in this world merchants? Fucking weird.
I had just finished telling Luna about my trip and the events after my return, having gone to the Guild after picking up the Minions’ armor from Edward and sending the Minions home with it. I had left out everything concerning Wiz, though, as the shopkeeper had sworn me to secrecy regarding her… status… as an undead. Undead – intelligent or not – weren’t looked kindly upon in this world. Which made sense, as the majority were unintelligent beasts bent on killing anyone and anything that crossed their path, but still, you’d think people could be at least a little open-minded. In any case…
Luna put a hand over her mouth and giggled. “It sounds like he had issues.”
I snorted. “Issues? More like subscriptions.”
“What?”
“Oh, sorry, that one only makes sense in English.”
“… Is that the language you speak in your home country?”
“One of them, yeah,” I said dismissively. “Anyway, I can feel my neck starting to burn from all the stares, so I’m gonna go.”
Luna mewled in disappointment. “Already?”
“Luna,” I said, flicking a thumb over my shoulder, “there’s, like, ten guys in line behind me.”
The Guild employee looked past me and sweatdropped. “O-oh, right.”
“Talk to ya later,” I said, giving her a wink and a wave before I turned and walked away from the counter.
“Finally!”
I turned to the speaker. “You say something?” I asked menacingly, my eyes glowing.
The man shrank back. “N-nothing!”
“Damn right,” I said, then grinned behind my helmet and continued walking. With Luna down, I had finally informed everyone I was back in town. Now, to go find a quest and- Oh, hey, was that Kazuma and Aqua over there? Oh, and they had their backs to me…
I giggled internally as I steered my steps away from the quest board and over to where the pair sat. Making sure to walk quietly – which wasn’t as hard as you’d think with full plate on, as long as you moved slowly – I snuck up behind them. They were eating, which helped keep my approach unnoticed. I reached out and grabbed each adventurer by their hair and slowly, but forcefully, pulled them back so they were looking upward. At the same time I leaned forward and looked down upon them, my eyes glowing.
“I have come for your souls.”
As expected, my fellow adventurers screamed in abject terror.
I laughed and let go, then quickly seated myself across from the pair. “So, how you guys doin’?”
Aqua was teary-eyed. “Jerk! Demon! Brute!”
“I… hate you… so much,” Kazuma ground out between gasping breaths. His hair was disheveled and his expression haunted. I couldn’t help but laugh again.
“Aww, I like you, too!”
“Are you sure you’re not a Devil?” Aqua asked as she straightened her hair. She didn’t look quite as disheveled and out-of-sorts as Kazuma, but was still very much disturbed.
“Why? You wanna dance under the pale moonlight?”
“What?” The goddess blinked, while next to her Kazuma groaned.
“Just ignore him. If we do, he’ll go away,” he said sourly.
“Whaddya think I am, a product of your imagination?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. “I’m not. Or am I?” I wiggled my fingers at him. “Wooo-ooooo-oooh!”
“… Please just go away.”
“Don’t worry, I will,” I said soothingly. “But not yet. So what’re you guys up to?”
“We’re trying to have lunch.”
“Nice, nice. Äta bör man annars dör man~.”
“What?”
“Nothing. So, got any quests lined up?”
Aqua opened her mouth to answer-
“No, Aqua, don’t! It’s a trick!” Kazuma exclaimed, slapping a hand over her mouth before she could speak. “If we tell him, he’s gonna try and come along! Or ambush us once we get there!”
“Oh, please, as if I have that kind of time,” I said, huffing and crossing my arms over my chest. Note to self: Look up good ambush points on the map, later.
Aqua pushed Kazuma’s hand away. “Get your hands off me! I can take care of myself!”
“Of course you can,” I said, nodding. “It’s not like there are ‘super Liches’ around that’re immune to your powers or anything.”
“I…” Aqua trailed off. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Suddenly, she shot to her feet, her chair clattering to the floor behind her. She was glowing with a pale blue light. “Sacred Turn Undead!”
I calmly regarded her as the spell washed over me and then faded. Blinking a few times to clear away the spots in my vision, I smiled. “Nice light show. You here all week?”
The goddess bit her lip in consternation. It was rather cute, actually. “Damn it.”
“Well, I’m gonna grab a quest,” I said and rose. “See ya guys ‘round.”
“I hope not,” I heard Kazuma mutter, to which I chuckled. Looking over my shoulder as I walked away, I saw Aqua pick up her chair. When she noticed me looking, she blew me a raspberry. For a goddess, she sure liked to act like a kid. I laughed loudly.
“Ah, quest board, my old friend,” I said once I reached my goal. “What presents do you have for me today…?”
Let’s see… “Teach my son-”, no. “Magical experiments-”, no… “I am looking for those who are tender to their party members.” Huh. This is still here?
I reached out to touch the paper. Instantly, I felt an intense pressure at the back of my head, like someone was trying to bore a hole in my skull through gaze alone. Yup, she was still here.
Weird… Why doesn’t she have a party, yet? I mean, she’s not Megumin’s sister, and they’re apparently not partying up, either, so it’s not like she’s trying to protect Megumin like I thought way back when…
I tore the paper from the board. A ways behind me, I heard a gasp.
Let’s see what kind of person you are.
I turned around and let my eyes roam the room. As expected, I soon spotted the Crimson Magic Clanner sitting alone in a corner, at a table for two with… a house of cards on the table? Huh. I took a deep breath, then walked on over.
“Hey. Yunyun, right? Mind if I sit?”
The woman instantly panicked. “H-h-h-how do you know my name?”
“I talked to Megumin,” I said casually as I sat, deciding to take the question as an invitation. “I heard you were still looking for a party.”
Yunyun’s eyes widened. “M-Megumin told you…?”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. She hadn’t, exactly, but sometimes you could extrapolate from incomplete data. “So. You’re a Crimson Magic Clanner?”
“A-ah, yes! Yes, I am!” She stood up and awkwardly bowed while lowering her gaze shyly to the floor. “M-my name is Yunyun, a-and I’m a Crimson Magic Clanner, and I’m, um… and I’m an Arch-wizard… a-a-and my favorite food is-”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down,” I said, holding my hands up in a placating manner. “Take a deep breath. We just met. No need to go overboard.”
“Y-yes, I’m sorry.” With that, the Arch-wizard plopped herself back down in her seat, her hands in her lap, her arms straight, and her gaze fixed on the middle of the table. Wow, this girl was tense.
“Anyway,” I said after a moment’s awkward silence, “I’m Jason. Nice to meet you.”
Yunyun started and looked up at me. “Ah! Yes! N-nice to meet you, too!”
I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring manner as our eyes met. “Right. Your class is Arch-wizard, right? What’s your level?”
“I-I’m level 6,” she said hesitantly. “Um, what’s yours…?”
“I’m level 21.”
Silence fell. After a moment, Yunyun rose.
“I-I’m sorry for wasting your time.” She started to dismantle the house of cards, her face despondent.
“Now, hold on just a minute,” I said. “Sit your ass back down.”
“Huh?” she asked, giving me a perplexed look. “What?”
“Sit down,” I repeated, a little softer this time. “Now, you listen to me: just because I’m a higher level doesn’t mean we can’t party up. Hell, I can probably help you level up quicker, if nothing else.”
Yunyun looked at me, her mouth forming an “o”. After a moment, she found her voice. “Y-you will? I-I mean, you can?”
“Sure. XP goes to whoever lands the killing blow, right? I can wear monsters down for you so you can finish them off. Standard grinding technique, yeah?”
Yunyun blinked several times, then gave me an odd look. “Are you… Have you ever visited the Crimson Magic Village?”
Now it was my turn to blink. “Huh? Yeah, like a week ago. Why?”
“… So that’s why…” she murmured, almost too softly for me to hear.
“So that’s why what?” I asked.
“U-um,” she said uncertainly, “this might sound strange, but… while you were in the village… what did you think of… of the way people… behaved?”
“What, the over-the-top posing and introductions and all that?”
Yunyun mutely nodded.
“Well, at first I thought it was annoying,” I said earnestly, “but it kinda grew on me after a bit. Not really my thing, though.” Well, except to mess with people…
“R-really? So, you don’t care either way? You don’t think it’s… weird?”
“Oh, it’s weird alright. But so what? Everyone’s weird in their own way.”
Yunyun was looking straight at me, now, her eyes shining with surprise, and… hope? “S-so you don’t care if someone is… weird?”
I hesitated. The way she said that was… a little alarming. “Well… I guess not?”
She murmured something I couldn’t make out.
“Come again?”
“Ah, no, never mind,” she said quickly. “A-anyway, my name is Yunyun, and I’m a Crimson Magic Clanner, a-and an Arch-wizard, and-”
“Yeah, I know, you already told me,” I deadpanned. Shockingly, this girl seemed to be even more socially awkward than I was. Hell, she actually reminded me of a younger me! Although, I didn’t remember stuttering quite so much…
“I-I’m sorry.”
“And stop apologizing,” I said, shaking my head. “Really, it’s getting a bit annoying. Stand up for yourself! Be proud of who you are and all that.”
“I’m sor- I-I mean… um…” Yunyun trailed off, the struggle of trying to come up with something to say showing clearly on her face. Wow.
“Relax,” I said. “Take a deep breath and start over. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s fine.”
She looked on the verge of tears, now. “I-I, um, o-okay. I-if you say so.”
I nodded. “I do. Now, on to business: you’re an Arch-wizard. That means you know Advanced Magic, right? What kind of…”
I trailed off when I saw the horrified look on Yunyun’s face. Did something just happen?
“I… I don’t…” She trailed off, mumbling.
“What? You don’t what?”
Yunyun lowered her head. “I… I… I-don’t-know-Advanced-Magic-I-only-know-Intermediate-Magic-I’m-so-sorry!!”
I blinked. I took a couple moments to interpret her rapid-fire words, then sighed. “I see. Well, that’s fine.”
Her eyes were wide as saucers as she whipped her head up and stared at me. “Eh?!”
“It’s fine. You’re only level 6, right? Intermediate Magic’s more than enough considering your level.”
Yunyun’s mouth was ajar. “Wha…?”
“Only idiots strive for perfection,” I said, leaning back. “If you can’t accept anything less than the best, then you’ll never get anything done. Trust me, I know that from personal experience.”
“Oh… I-I see.”
“So, we gonna party up?”
“You… you still want to? E-even though I only know Intermediate Magic…?”
I shrugged. “Sure. You’ll learn Advanced Magic one day, won’t you?”
“I.. Of course, I… I will! Yes!”
“Good enough for me. Welcome to the party, Yunyun.” I smiled warmly and extended my right hand, intending to shake hers… only to pause when I saw something very alarming, indeed. “Are… are you crying?”
“I’m… I’m… Waaaaaaaaaah!”
“Whoa, wait! Wh-why are you crying?! Hey!”
“Look at that guy… Now he’s making a girl cry! He’s pure evil, I tell you!”
Kazuma sighed as he followed Aqua’s gaze. Indeed, over on the other side of the Guild Hall, Jason was sitting in front of a girl bawling her eyes out. The Overlord was getting dirty looks from all around, female ones especially. Did he just break up with the poor girl? Kazuma wouldn’t put it past the guy to be a successful womanizer on top of everything else.
“Damn you… Cheat items, power-leveling, and now you’re plowing the field, too?!” Kazuma clenched his right hand into a fist. “That should be me fighting girls off with a stick, not you! Where’s my cute girlfriend, huh?!”
“Eh? Did you say something, Kazuma?” Aqua asked, turning around.
“Nothing. I said nothing.”
“Hey, why do you look so pissed? Did something happen?”
“No, nothing’s happened. That’s the problem!”
Aqua tilted her head in confusion. “Huh?”
Curse you, Overlord! I won’t be your “junior” forever! You’ll see, or my name isn’t Kazuma Satou…!
“Hey, why are you shaking your fist at the ceiling? Why is your face like that? Seriously, did something happen when I wasn’t looking?”
Tears streamed down Kazuma’s face. One day I’ll have you call me “senior”! I swear it!
“A-are you sure about this, Mister Jason?”
“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be? And please, just call me ‘Jason’.”
“O-okay, but… it’s so big…”
“Don’t worry, it’s only the two of us here. Nobody’s gonna see if you end up slimy.”
“W-wait! You said something very concerning just now! Wh-why would I end up slimy?”
“Well, you see, these things produce a very slimy substance, and if you’re not careful you might end up covered in it.”
“That sounds horrible! Why do people do this?!”
“Well, it’s easy money, for one thing.”
“E-easy money?”
“Oh, yes. You see, Yunyun, in life, money is very important indeed. It’s a sad state of affairs when you think about it, but there you go. At least this way, you can earn a fair amount of it quickly… with a minor risk of getting covered in slimy stuff.”
“I-I’m not sure I wanna do this…”
“Just trust me. Hell, you might even come to enjoy it.”
“O-okay, if you say so…”
“I do. Now, prepare yourself! Spread your legs – yes, just like that – and take a deep breath. Now, put your hands up like this – yes, that’s right – and start pulling just like I explained before.”
“D-do I really have to? This feels very strange.”
“You want to be an adventurer, don’t you?”
“Y-yeah, but…”
“Then go ahead and do it. It’ll be good practice for later in life, trust me.”
“O-okay, then. H-here I go!”
With that, Yunyun took a deep breath, cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted, “C-come on over here, you slimy, over-sized amphibian! Y-your mother was a- I-I’m sorry, Jason, I can’t do this! It’s so mean!”
“Well, it’s fine,” I said, looking at the nearest Giant Toad, which had already turned and was hopping towards us. “Just that bit of shouting was enough. Now, what did I tell you this was called?”
“P-pulling aggro?”
“That’s right. Good girl,” I said, nodding appreciatively. “Knowing how and when to pull aggro is very important, no matter if you’re going solo or if you’re in a party. Of course, normally it’s the role of the party tank to handle that, but it’s good if everyone in the party knows how to. Remember that! Now, I’ll take care of this first one, just to show you how it’s done, and then you can pull another. Okay?”
“Y-yes, sir!”
“Very good. Stand behind me, if you please.”
Yunyun moved to stand behind me, and then I waited for the Giant Toad to come within range. Once it did, I let loose with what was fast becoming my favorite spell, outside of Evil Presence.
“Fireball!” I shouted, and an instant later there was a meaty thwump followed by a whoosh as the fiery projectile impacted its target and flames washed over the unfortunate amphibian. It collapsed, quite dead. Naturally, I absorbed the life force, the Gauntlet’s jewel briefly glowing blue. “One Giant Toad, lightly grilled!” I said gleefully. “Alright, Yunyun, pull another. Now it’s your turn. And remember: Giant Toads are weak to fire spells!”
“O-okay!” The Arch-wizard turned in the direction of the nearest living amphibian, took a deep breath, and shouted, “Get over here, you slimy- I-I’m sorry, I-I just can’t do it! Do I really have to learn this?”
“Yes, you do,” I said resolutely, crossing my arms over my chest. “However, it seems even that tiny bit of shouting worked. It’s probably because your voice is higher-pitched than mine, so it carries better. Or maybe they just don’t like high-pitched noises in general.” Hey, there’s even a third one hopping this way! Hmm… Maybe we should try whistling, next? “Anyway, it’s hopping on over, so be ready with the fire magic!”
“R-right! Here I go! … Fireball!”
As expected, Yunyun’s spell easily killed the giant amphibian. Somewhat less expected, however, was that while my kill could easily be called “lightly grilled”, Yunyun’s was perhaps better described as “extra crispy”.
Damn, and she’s only level six… Crimson Magic Clanners are something else, alright. I gave a big smile behind my helmet as the Arch-wizard turned around. “Excellent work, Yunyun! Now, let’s kill three more and then we can turn this quest in at the Guild!”
Yunyun smiled and clenched her hands into fists, nodding happily. “O-okay!”
“One thing, though.”
“Wh-what?”
“Never forget to keep an eye on your surroundings.”
“Eh?” Yunyun asked… an instant before a long, slimy, prehensile tongue curled itself around her midsection and pulled her off her feet. “Aaaaaaaah-!”
I cupped my right hand by my mouth and shouted, “Don’t worry, I’ll get you out and hose you off, after!”
“I don’t wanna have to be hosed o-” And then she was swallowed. I sighed wistfully.
They grow up so fast!
“Five Giant Toads dead,” Luna said once Yunyun and I returned to the Guild. “That’s 25,000 eris. Along with the quest reward, that comes to 125,000 total.”
“Thank you very much, Luna!” I said happily. “Yunyun, thank the nice lady.”
“L-lady?” Luna repeated, eye twitching slightly. I winked at her, to show I didn’t mean anything by it. Yunyun, meanwhile, started bowing frantically next to me.
“Th-thank you very much!” she stammered, looking down shyly.
Aw, she was so cute! It was hard to believe she was… Hmm. Actually, I didn’t know how old she was. She looked nineteen, maybe even twenty, but didn’t Megumin claim they were the same age? Then again, she might’ve been lying out of jealousy over their… slight differences in physical development.
No joke, Yunyun looked to be five, six years older, easy.
I felt a tug on my arm, then, right before Luna leaned over and whispered into my ear, or rather, into the side of my helmet. “Hey. What’s with this girl?”
“She’s an adventurer,” I whispered back. “An Arch-wizard, if you can believe it. Powerful, too. Her name is Yunyun.”
“I know all that, I’ve seen her around the Guild,” came Luna’s dismissive reply. “Why is she with you?”
“Oh, I saw her party-up request on the board. We talked, and we decided to join up. Now I’m showing her the ropes, since she’s pretty new.”
Luna frowned. “Okay, but-”
“U-um, Mister Jason?”
“Just Jason, please,” I said, turning to Yunyun. “What’s up?”
The Arch-wizard lowered her gaze as she started poking her index fingers together. “Um, I-I was wondering… I-if you’re free, if maybe you would like to… Um…” Yunyun swallowed. “I-if you would like to… play a game with me?”
“A game? Sure, why not?”
“R-really?! G-great!” She smiled, looking about ready to start bouncing around with happiness.
Oh, gods, she was so fucking cute! How could I say no?
I gave Luna a nod in goodbye and started walking after Yunyun when suddenly something occurred to me. I grinned. “Hey, you wanna come over to my place and meet the Minions?”
At my words I heard a choking gasp coming from the direction of the Guild counter, but when I looked over Luna was nowhere to be seen. Weird. Maybe she had something she needed to do? I reoriented on Yunyun, who was looking at me with wide eyes.
“M-Minions?” she asked in wonder.
“Oh, yeah. They’re also a part of the party. Sort of.”
“Eh?! I-I have more party members aside from you?!”
“Yup. So, whaddya say? Wanna meet ‘em?”
“B-b-but what if they don’t like me?”
“Oh, you’ll be fine. Trust me. Hell, they might even wanna play that game of yours.”
“You live in a castle?!” Yunyun asked, staring up in wonder as we approached the Dark Castle about an hour later.
“Yup. Well, ‘squatting’ might be more accurate, but sure, it’s home.” I waved to the guards as we approached. “And there’s the Minions. Two of ‘em, anyway.”
“Oi! Da Overlord are back! Raise da portcullis!”
“Portcullis go up!”
“Lower da drawbridge!”
“Drawbridge go down!”
“Open da gate!”
“Gate go open!”
“Um… Why are they shouting like that?” Yunyun asked timidly.
I sighed. “You know what? I have no idea. They probably think it’s fun or something.”
“O-oh, I see…” It didn’t sound like she did, honestly, but hey, she was probably being polite.
“Welcome back to Dark Castle, Overlord,” Lampy greeted us on the other side of the gate. His gaze lingered on Yunyun. “You is bring guest?”
“Yes, I brought a guest,” I said, turning around. “Yunyun, this is Lampy. Lampy, Yunyun.”
“H-hello,” Yunyun said, giving a tiny wave, which Lampy returned with a big grin and a rapid side-to-side flapping of one hand.
“Hellos, Yunyun!”
Yunyun tugged at my arm, then, and I leaned closer as she whispered, “U-um, are they… Are they goblins?”
“Distant relation,” I semi-confirmed. “Don’t call them goblins, though; they don’t like it. They’re Minions.”
“O-oh… Okay. Um, why is he glowing…?”
“Overlord!” a voice called out, then, and I turned to see Char approaching.
“Ah, Char,” I greeted the Red. “How are things?”
“Things is very good, Overlord!” he supplied, straightening and shooting off a salute with one hand. I idly wondered where he picked that up. “Hole in ceiling are fixed and Chocobos are fed and ready to run!”
“Good, good,” I said, nodding in appreciation of the Minion’s efforts. “I don’t think we’ll be doing too much running today. Although… Hey, Yunyun, wanna see the Chocobos?”
The Arch-wizard blinked. “What are Chocobos?”
“They is da best mount a Minion could ask for,” Char replied before I could. I chuckled.
“Yeah, something like that. Come on, the stable’s right over here.”
Char ran off ahead of us, and by the time Yunyun and I reached the stables he was leading two Chocobos out of it.
Yunyun’s eyes went wide at the sight. “They’re birds?” she asked in wonder. “They’re so big… a-and red! I’ve never seen anything like it!”
“Yeah, they’re pretty awesome,” I said, and I admit, I probably felt a little too smug at her reaction. I gestured to the nearest bird. “Go ahead, say hello.”
“Eh? I can?”
“Sure. They’re friendly.” For the most part…
“A-all right, then.” Carefully, looking ready to bolt at a moment’s notice, Yunyun approached the Chocobo, her right hand held out as if she was expecting a handshake. “H-hello! I’m Yunyun. How are-”
Before she could finish, the Chocobo bit down on her head and started swinging her about. After a few moments it let go, leaving the Arch-wizard to fall flat on her butt.
“Wh-wh-wh-what did I do wrong?!” Yunyun was teary-eyed… and covered in saliva. “Why do you hate me?!”
I bit back a laugh. “He doesn’t hate you,” I said. “That’s just what Chocobos do, for some reason. I think it might be to put their scent on you, or something. It means he considers you a friend.”
Yunyun’s eyes looked about ready to pop out of their sockets as she stared up at the Chocobo. “A… f-friend? You think I’m a friend?!”
“Kweh!” the Chocobo chirped happily.
“… You’re not gonna cry are you?” I asked cautiously.
Yunyun turned away, wiping at her face with her sleeve. “N-no…”
I shook my head. This girl was way too emotional for her own good. “Hey, you wanna ride him?”
“Huh?”
“You wanna ride him?” I repeated. “That’s what Chocobos are used for, after all. Look at Char over there.” I pointed to where Char was sitting on top of the other Chocobo, presumably the same one he’d ridden on that first day. When Yunyun looked over, the Red Minion waved.
She got to her feet. “I… I can ride- Eh?!”
In the middle of the girl’s question, the Chocobo ran a half-circle around her, dipped its head low, and rushed her, putting its head between her legs and straightening. The shocked Yunyun landed unsteadily on its back.
“Wha- what’s going on?!”
“He wants you to ride him,” I said, smiling slightly as I leaned against the wall of the stable.
“H-how do I steer?”
“Well, first off, you put your legs behind his wings. He needs those to maneuver, you see.”
“O-okay… Like this?”
“That’s right. Now, remember to hold on tight, okay? I haven’t had the chance to have any saddles made, so it’s bareback or nothing. You steer with your legs, like a horse.”
“I-I’ve never ridden a ho-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
I started when the Chocobo suddenly took off like a rocket. “Wait, come back! Yunyun!”
Before I or anyone could do much of anything, the Chocobo jumped, bounced off the side of the stable, and leapt over the castle wall.
“Oh, that’s not good,” I murmured as Yunyun’s screams faded into the distance. I turned to Char. “Char, get everyone mounted up. We’re going after her!”
“That’s it!” Beldia cursed, his voice hoarse, as he walked down the road. Since he was traveling in daylight, he’d had to disguise himself… which he accomplished by dressing himself in old bandages and donning a dirty cloak and hood, with his head secured to his shoulders with the aid of the bandages. “I’ve had it! Even going back in disgrace is better than this… this torture!”
It galled him to admit it, but the Overlord had him beat. Whether in the ferocity of his Minions or the terror of his psychological warfare, the Overlord was on a whole other level. To think, that just four words delivered at the right time, with the right tone and inflection, could inflict such massive damage… Beldia had spent most of the night and morning running around the countryside, screaming his head off. Literally, as he’d kept dropping it. Truly, the Overlord was an existence of pure evil the likes of which the world had never known.
Beldia shook himself. No, he would not think about that. The Demon King’s mission be damned, the Dullahan would go back, admit his defeat, and then maybe the Demon King would grant him an army he could use to crush the Overlord once and for all… Surely, after hearing his re-telling of events, the Demon King would understand the threat they all faced?
Unfortunately, the journey to the Demon King’s lands was a long and arduous one, and it would take him- Okay, why was that blue-haired girl coming the other way staring at him so intently?
“Hey, hey, Kazuma,” Aqua whispered to Kazuma. “See that guy over there? The one in the cloak and the bandages?”
“What about him?” Kazuma asked, disinterested. He and the rest of their party were on their way back to Axel after finishing up a quest to rid a farm of giant insects that kept eating the crops… Unfortunately, they’d gotten caught in the middle when said crops decided to fight back against the aggressors. While they had finished the quest successfully, it had not been fun, and right now the young Adventurer simply wanted to cash in on what little reward remained, drown his sorrows in drink, and go to bed. Alas, they had one, final, hill to climb before they could lay eyes on the town.
“There’s something weird about him… I can sense it! I think he might be- Huh? Do you hear screaming?”
Kazuma, Aqua, Megumin – who was riding on Darkness’ back, having exhausted her mana when she blew up most of the farmers’ fields and reduced the quest reward to almost nothing – and Darkness all turned to look as someone rapidly approached them… Someone who was letting off a drawn-out, high-pitched scream.
“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!”
The passing of something bright red with something mostly black and brown on top threw up a cloud of dust and almost knocked Kazuma off his feet from the wind pressure alone. As one, the four adventurers stared after the high-speed apparition.
“W-was that Yunyun?”
“Was that the girl from this morning?”
“W-was she crying?”
“Was that a Chocobo?!”
“Gangway!”
Kazuma and gang barely threw themselves aside as not one, but a whole herd – or possibly flock – of the red birds came rushing by after the first. Getting back on his feet and staring, Kazuma saw red-skinned Minions riding each and every one of the birds… except for one.
The Adventurer’s hands clenched into fists. ““Overlord…!”” Then he blinked upon noticing his speech being echoed… by Aqua.
“So it’s not enough to scare everyone you come across and make an innocent girl cry, but now you have to chase her down, too? Unforgivable! As a goddess, I cannot ignore this injustice!”
Kazuma stared. Was Aqua… actually acting like a goddess, for once? “Hey, what are you-”
Alas, Aqua ran off before he could finish. While she obviously couldn’t match the speed of those red Chocobos, her high stats ensured that she was going at a clip far beyond what Kazuma himself could achieve.
As the goddess disappeared over the hill, Megumin smacked Darkness over the head. “Hey! Go after them!”
“Eh? Why?” Darkness asked, looking over her shoulder at the Arch-wizard. Then her eyes widened. “Y-you think he’s trying to kidnap that girl? A-and bring her to a secluded location, where he will do all sorts of unspeakable things to her?! Is that why she’s crying?!”
“I don’t think so,” Megumin said, shaking her head. “I know that girl; she cries over everything. However, where the Overlord goes, cool things are bound to happen! Also, I want a closer look at those birds… and the demons riding them. Now, go!”
“Y-yes, ma’am!”
“I’m not a ma’am! I’m seventeen!”
“Sorry~!”
And so, Kazuma was left in the dust. He grit his teeth. “Even my own party members…!”
““Damn you, Overlord! … Eh?””
Kazuma blinked and turned his head to the side… to where the cloaked stranger was picking himself up off the road after being trampled by the Chocobos. The two stared at one another.
“Did you just say… ‘Overlord’?” the stranger asked, his voice hoarser than any Kazuma had ever heard in his life.
“I did… Did you?”
“Uh-uh.”
“Then… he’s made you suffer, too?”
“He has.”
“… Is that why you’re covered in bandages?”
“That’s… part of it.”
Silence fell. After a few moments, Kazuma spoke again.
“Hey… You wanna get a drink?”
The stranger sniffled beneath his hood. “I’d like that, yes.”
“I’m Kazuma, by the way.”
“I’m Bel...phron. Belphron, that’s my name.”
“Nice to meet you, Belphron.”
“You as well, Kazuma.”
End Chapter Twenty
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Chapter 21: A Roller Coaster Ride Of Emotions, Part II
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Blessings To This Wonderful Overlord!
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Chapter 21: A Roller Coaster Ride Of Emotions, Part II
You know, I really should’ve taken the time to learn to ride these things, I mused as I rode on in pursuit of Yunyun, my Chocobo lagging further and further behind as it rode its twisty path forward, a direct result of my inexpert steering. I hadn’t ridden a horse since I was a kid, and honestly didn’t remember too much of it, not to mention that Chocobos had a very different anatomy which made for some decidedly different riding characteristics. Plus, it had only been a couple days since I got the Chocobos, and I’d been too busy to really familiarize myself with them. Behind me, the Minions did their best to follow me like the tail of an unusually wobbly comet.
Unfortunately, this meant that Yunyun was getting further and further away from us; being too panicked to even attempt to steer properly, the Crimson Magic Clanner was carried away at speed by the Crimson Chocobo, which didn’t seem the least bit inclined to slow down. When it carried her past a pair of surprised town watchmen, through the gate and into Axel beyond, I swore to myself.
“Char!” I called out, prompting the Minion to ride up beside me. “Forget about following me; go and stop Yunyun! Bring the rest of the Reds with you.”
“Okies, Overlord,” the Red Minion acknowledged. He saluted, then turned to look over his shoulder. “Oi! Crimson Cavaly is follow me! We is stop Yunyun!”
“Without hurting her or anyone else!” I clarified, having just then been struck with a sense of foreboding. “That part’s very important!”
“You is hear Overlord!” Char called out. “We is stop Yunyun, but we no is hurties her or anyone! You’s got that?!”
There was a chorus of confirmations, and then the Reds rode off, charging past the town watchmen into the town. For my part, so as to prevent a panic – and to slow down and try to get my bearings back – I slowed to a halt by the gate and the confused and somewhat unnerved guards.
“Hold!” one of them called out, unnecessarily, after I stopped. “What’s going on here? What’s with those weird birds?”
“They’re Chocobos,” I answered quickly. “They’re basically horses. Look, a new rider panicked and rode off, and we’re trying to get her back under control. There’s nothing, uh, untoward going on. So don’t raise the alarm or anything. I’ll take care of everything.”
The older of the two watchmen squinted up at me. “Hey, aren’t you that ‘Overlord’ fellow?”
“Yeah, that’s right,” I responded, nodding. Beneath me, the Chocobo buckled back a couple steps under my awkward steering. Fortunately, as a two-legged animal, it didn’t have the same trouble with buckling as a horse. I petted the bird soothingly on the back of its head as I looked at the watchmen. “The girl you saw riding into town is my party member.”
“Well, that explains it, then,” the older watchman said, nodding as if nothing was wrong. “I’ve heard all kinds of weird things about you and your creatures. You seem like an alright lot, if a bit smelly.”
“A-are you sure?” the younger watchman asked, shooting his companion a dubious look. “They just charged into town…”
The older watchman waved it off. “He’s a registered adventurer and hasn’t caused any trouble before,” he said dismissively. “That’s more than can be said for most of ‘em. I say we leave it to him.”
“But-”
“Look, do you wanna stay here, in the shade, or go running about town like a headless chicken in the sun?”
The younger watchman hesitated. “Well, when you put it that way…”
“Thanks for your understanding,” I said, relieved. I rode past them. “I won’t forget it!”
Now where the hell did Yunyun go?
Yunyun had stopped screaming. Not because her panic had subsided, but rather because it didn’t seem to be helping, anyhow. The Chocobo didn’t stop its mad dash, however, and as they came into the town proper Yunyun soon found herself calling out “Sorry!”, “Look out!”, “Please get out of the way!” and variations thereof so many times in such a short span of time that she lost track. Fortunately – whether through luck or skill or both – the Chocobo managed to avoid running over anyone. It did, however, leap into the air to avoid smashing head-first into a wagon, and to Yunyun’s distress it kicked off the roof of the vehicle and landed on top of a building, then began running and hopping across rooftops.
It had to be said that adding significant height on top of everything else did nothing to ease Yunyun’s sense of complete and utter panic. To wit, the sense of weightlessness at the apex of each hop between buildings was particularly unnerving to the poor young Crimson Magic Clanner, and after the first time looking down she scarcely dared to even keep her eyes open.
As such, it was with some relief that Yunyun found herself coming to a sudden and surprising stop. Cracking an eye open, she looked about and saw that she was in an alley, empty save for some wooden boxes, her arms held tightly around the Chocobo’s neck. Opening her other eye, Yunyun tilted her head back. The Chocobo, its deep blue eyes making a sharp contrast to its bright red plumage, looked back at her.
“Wark!” it chirped happily.
Yunyun blinked and bit her lip. “Um…”
“Kweh!”
“I… Huh?” Slowly, she straightened, her face coming closer to the Chocobo’s. “What?”
“Kweh! Wark! Woo-hee-hoo!” the Chocobo chirped, emphasizing each noise with vigorous movements that almost caused its rider to fall off now that she was no longer desperately clinging onto its neck.
Yunyun took a moment to regain her balance and licked her lips. “I… I’m afraid I don’t understand…”
“Kweh,” the Chocobo said… shrugging? It felt like a shrug, the way it caused Yunyun to bob up and down briefly.
She hesitated. For all intents and purposes, it seemed like the strange bird was talking to her… Was it trying to calm her down? To be… friendly? “Are you… You are talking to me… aren’t you? I’m not imagining it?”
“Wark!” the Chocobo said brightly… alas not answering Yunyun’s question at all.
“I… I’m very sorry, but I don’t understand you!” she said desperately, finding herself getting nervous. Here she was, being talked to in what seemed to be a friendly manner, and she couldn’t even understand the words being spoken… er, chirped. “But you seem to understand me… I-I’m very sorry for being rude!”
“Kweh,” the Chocobo replied, shrugging again. “Wark!”
With that, it set off again, albeit at a much more leisurely pace than before, to the point where Yunyun didn’t even have to hold on. Not that that stopped her from doing so anyway.
“Eh? Where are we going?”
“Woo-hee-hoo!”
“I’m truly very sorry, but I really don’t understand!”
“I is no see Yunyun,” Cinders said to Char, who frowned.
“Me neither,” he returned, looking around. They had lost sight of Yunyun when she rode through the town gate, only to catch a glimpse of her hopping over the rooftops before she disappeared again. At the moment, Char and the other Reds had slowed to a stop in the middle of a busy – though currently rather panicked and accident-stricken – intersection to debate their next course of action. They ignored the pointing and staring.
“Maybe she are invisible?” Burns suggested.
Char shook his head. “Nah, I no think so. She are probably hiding.”
“Ohhh, it are hide-and-go-seek game, now?” Cinders asked with a grin. “I is like play tag, but that good game, too.”
Char pondered this, rubbing his chin in the same way he had seen the Overlord do on many an occasion. “You is could be right… Okies! Crimson Cavalry, we is spread out and hide-go-seek for Yunyun!”
“Wait,” Burns said suddenly. “How big are playing field?”
“It are probably town,” Char answered after a moment’s thought. “It be cheating if they leave. We is proud and fair Reds, not cheaty Greens.”
The other Reds nodded at this masterful piece of logic.
“Okies, Crimson Cavalry!” Char called out, “Hide-go-seek for Yunyun!”
“““““Okies!”””””
I rode into town, looking everywhere but to no avail. I saw plenty of signs of the Chocobos’ passing – the many panicked people and occasional overturned cart was evidence enough of that – but I could find no hide nor hair – or should that be feather? – of either the Minions or Yunyun. Where could they have gone?
I continued on at a leisurely pace, straining to listen for the telltale chirps and other noises produced by the Chocobos as my eyes roamed the streets and buildings of the town, doing my best to ignore the stares and whispers of the pedestrians. The helmet really helped with the last part.
After a couple minutes, I heard what I could only describe as a continuous roar. Looking back whence I’d come, I saw a rapidly approaching dust cloud, a blue-clad figure at its head. I blinked and focused on the figure. Aqua?
Yes, it was the goddess, running toward me at an impressive clip, her feet kicking up a cloud of dust in her wake. What in the world was she up to?
“I’ve finally caught you!” she called out as she neared. She reared back one arm, her fist becoming suddenly enveloped in multicolored light. “Face divine punishment for making innocent girls cry, demon! God Strike!”
Blinking at the strange proclamation, I leaned back slightly, prompting my Chocobo to take a step back as Aqua leapt into the air and punched… nothing. There was a brief, slow-motion moment as she turned her head to look at me as she passed by, her expression changing from righteous fury to surprise to panic… and then time sped back up and the goddess sailed past on account of her own accumulated momentum. I trotted on after her as she crashed and rolled along the street, completely out of control. She squawked comically as her tumble took her up and over a tiny, grassy knoll… and into the river beyond with a splash.
I rode to the top of the knoll and dismounted. Looking out across the water, I saw Aqua surface, the Arch-priest drawing back a breath as she did so. She was clearly disoriented and very much disheveled, her hair covering her face as she turned this way and that.
“So what was that all about?” I called out to her. Orienting on the sound of my voice, the goddess turned her head in my direction and used her hands to part her hair.
“You!” she said, scowling. “You’re not gonna get away with this!”
“Get away with what?” I asked, tilting my head at her. “It’s not my fault you decided to throw yourself in the river.”
“Yes it is! You moved!”
I shot her a deadpan look. “I moved. Right. So again, what was that all about?”
“You made that girl cry,” Aqua replied, crossing her arms over her chest. “Twice, even! I saw it!”
“If you’re talking about Yunyun, she was crying from happiness this morning,” I retorted. “You know, since she finally found a party. Apparently she’s been having a tough time of it.”
“Ha! As if I’m gonna believe that! And even if it was true, what about just now, huh?”
I hesitated. “Ah… That’s…”
Aqua pointed at me. “Aha! I knew it! Filthy demon! What did you do to her, huh?!”
“I didn’t do anything!” I protested. “She got on the Chocobo and then it ran off. I’m trying to catch her.”
The goddess snorted. “Oh, please,” she said, crossing her arms once more. “Do you really think I’m stupid enough to fall for that?”
“… Is that a trick question?”
“Wha- Hey!” Aqua scowled. “Why are you always so mean to me?!”
“Why are you always casting spells at me?” I countered.
“Because it’s my duty as a goddess to purify the world’s evils! Like you and your Gauntlet!”
“You mean the Gauntlet that you gave to me?”
Aqua twitched and looked away. “That… That was a momentary lapse in judgment…”
I snorted a laugh. “‘Momentary’. Right. And I’m the fucking-”
“Overlord!”
I turned at the call to find Darkness approaching… carrying Megumin on her back, for some reason. Was she injured? No, that didn’t make any sense; she had Aqua in her party, and the goddess knew the Heal spell, didn’t she? Besides, she didn’t look injured… “Oh, hey Megumin. Darkness.”
“Hey, don’t ignore me!” Aqua called from the river. I ignored her.
Darkness was breathing pretty heavily as she slowed to a stop in front of me, no doubt from carrying Megumin for however far a distance. The Crusader opened her mouth. “Over-”
“Overlord!” Megumin exclaimed, somehow managing to sound dramatic despite her less-than-dramatic position being piggybacked by Darkness. She pointed her staff at the Chocobo. “What is that bird?!”
“It’s a Chocobo,” I answered. “Look, I’m kinda in a hurry, alright? Yunyun got on one of these and ran off, and I’m trying to find her.”
“Y-yes!” Darkness piped up suddenly. “I saw that! She was crying and screaming! Just what did you do to her?!”
“I didn’t do anything,” I said, rolling my eyes. Was the Crusader going to get all up in my grill about this, like Aqua had? True, Crusaders were basically this world’s version of paladins, so being all uptight and goody-two-shoes was probably their default setting… which didn’t really bode well for me under the circumstances. Better explain things fast. “She got on a Chocobo and it ran off and she panicked. End of story.”
As we talked, Megumin climbed off of Darkness’ back and approached my Chocobo. Deep blue eyes met shining crimson eye as the diminutive Arch-wizard looked up. “You, Chocobo!” she said resolutely. “I demand that you ride me!”
The Chocobo started and stared. “Kweh?!”
Ears flashing red, Megumin coughed. “I-I mean, I demand that you let me ride you!”
Oh, gods, please let that not be a Freudian slip, I thought as I turned to observe the exchange.
The Crimson Chocobo and the Crimson Magic Clanner stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, the only sound being the splashing coming from the river and the sound of pedestrians passing by. Then the Chocobo haughtily turned its beak up and away.
“Kweh.”
Darkness gasped lightly. “Ah, she was rejected…”
Megumin gawked. “What?! Why?!”
“Wark.”
“Please! I beg you!”
“That’s not gonna work,” I said matter-of-factly. “Crimson Chocobos choose their riders, not the other way around.”
“C-Crimson?” Megumin repeated, turning to me. “It’s called a Crimson Chocobo?!”
“Yup. Because of the plumage,” I said, gesturing to the Chocobo’s bright red feathers.
Megumin’s knuckles whitened as she held tightly onto her staff. “That’s it… It must be fate!” She threw her arms out, her cape billowing dramatically behind her as she fixed the Chocobo with her stare, her eye shining bright red. “We both have ‘Crimson’ in our names! We’re destined to be mount and rider! Can’t you see?!”
The Chocobo looked at Megumin quietly for a moment… then turned its head away. “Kweh.”
“Oh… Rejected again,” Darkness murmured. She clenched her right hand into a fist and pressed it to her chest. “Megumin… How do you feel…?”
The Arch-wizard, for her part, staggered back as if struck. “But why?!”
At that moment, Aqua reached the top of the knoll, having trudged her way up out of the river. “Don’t be fooled, Megumin! That’s some kind of Devil bird, I’m sure of it! Don’t be taken in by-”
“Create Water.”
Aqua sputtered and started teetering backward as the jet of water shot from my hand into her face. After a moment precariously balanced on one leg, she fell, tumbling screaming downhill and hitting the water with a loud splash.
“Just for the record, Chocobos have nothing to do with Devils or demons of any kind,” I said once I turned back around. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I seriously need to go find Yunyun and-”
“M-Mister Jason!”
I blinked. Looking over to the left, I saw a Chocobo trotting along down the street toward us, Yunyun on its back.
“Oh, you got him under control?” I asked, smiling and inwardly sighing in relief. “Good job, Yunyun.”
The Crimson Magic Clanner looked down abashedly, her cheeks slightly red as the Chocobo came to a stop. “Th-thank you. He’s really nice when you get to know him. H-he scared me at first, but… I think we’re…” She blinked, her eyes wet with barely-contained tears. “...I think we’re friends now.”
“That’s great,” I said, nodding. I looked around. “Um, you wouldn’t happen to have seen the Reds…?”
Yunyun blinked again. “No… not since the gate.”
“Damn,” I muttered. “Guess I gotta look for ‘em… Figures.”
“Yunyun!” Megumin stepped forth, pointing her staff at her fellow Arch-wizard. “How? How did you tame that thing?! Tell me!”
“Huh? Oh, Megumin… I-I didn’t really tame him…”
“Right, like I said before, Chocobos choose their riders,” I spoke up. “That one chose Yunyun. Then, because apparently he decided to show off what he could do, he ran off like a damn roadrunner on a caffeine high.” I shot the Chocobo in question a dirty look, prompting the bird to look away awkwardly. Well, at least he had the decency to be ashamed.
Megumin spent a long moment staring up at Yunyun, her expression unreadable. Then she turned and began climbing onto my Chocobo, who protested loudly. “I’m gonna ride a Chocobo, too! Anything Yunyun can do, I can do better!”
“M-Megumin!” Yunyun exclaimed. “Th-that’s mean!”
Of course, the Chocobo wasn’t about to just stand there and let her climb onboard. It flapped its wings once, throwing Megumin off to land on her butt on the ground. “Kweh!”
“Ow!” The Arch-wizard rubbed her rear. “Why won’t you let me ride you?!”
“Wark!” the Chocobo chirped in an annoyed tone… an instant before it let out a warning breath of flame above Megumin’s head. Alas, it had the opposite effect.
“You breathe fire, too?!” Megumin squealed.
I sighed and rubbed my temples. This was starting to get complicated. “Look, Megumin-”
“I’m back! And don’t think you-”
“Create Water.”
There was a surprised cry, a sputter, and a splash. Then, “Why do you always have to spray me in the face?!”
Sniggering, I turned my back on the river goddess and focused on Megumin, my gaze stopping to linger on the suddenly red-faced Crusader. Was she upset about the way I treated Aqua? Eh, whatever. “Look, Megu-”
“Megumin! Your hat’s on fire!” Yunyun interrupted me, her voice aghast.
“Eh?” Megumin, who’d been completely absorbed in cooing and awwing at the very uncomfortable-looking Chocobo, blinked. Removing her pointy, somewhat droopy, hat, her eye widened as she saw that it was, indeed, on fire. Before she could panic about it, I lazily raised my hand.
“Create Water.”
The water not only extinguished the flames, but also knocked the hat out of the Crimson Magic Clanner’s grip. She let out a surprised yelp and ran after it as it tumbled down the street.
I wasted no time in getting back on my Chocobo. “Okay, Yunyun, now’s our chance! Let’s go!”
“Huh? Go where?”
“We gotta go find the Reds,” I answered, only half-lying. In truth I also wanted to get away from Kazuma’s party members; Megumin was acting way too fangirly over the Chocobos for my liking, and Aqua was being extra stupid and annoying for some reason. And Darkness… Well, Darkness hadn’t really done anything, but I had a sneaking suspicion she might join the fray at any time.
“Hey, wait a moment, Overlord!”
Yeah, like that. “Sorry, can’t stay, gotta go. Bye!”
With that I took off, Yunyun following close behind. Unlike before, she seemed to have good control of her Chocobo.
Seriously, good job, Yunyun. Now to find the Reds and get back to the Dark Castle.
In the end, it took several hours to find the Reds, as not only had they scattered across Axel, but apparently a number of them had gotten it into their heads that we were playing hide-and-seek.
Really, I had no idea what went through the Minions’ minds at times. Sometimes I wondered if they didn’t all suffer from some kind of ADD.
Then again, I can get pretty easily distracted myself, so I probably shouldn’t talk…
In any case, by the time I bid Yunyun adieu and returned to the Dark Castle, it was already nighttime. Feeling surprisingly tired from the day’s activities, I promptly went to bed and didn’t rise again until well after the sun.
I don’t wanna do any quests today… Maybe I should go visit Wiz?
Beldia groaned as he blearily opened his eyes. Thanks to his regeneration he didn’t suffer from hangovers, but even so he was still feeling disoriented from the previous night’s activities. For starters, where was he? He didn’t recognize the ceiling. Was he in a hotel?
Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Beldia had to quickly grab his head when it almost fell off his shoulders, the bandages having come undone at some point during the night. With some difficulty he remade them, then stood up and looked around.
He was in a small room, occupied by little beyond a single bed, a wardrobe, and a low stool. There was a window on one wall, looking out over a busy street. Okay, so he was still in Axel, at least. Probably.
Turning to the opposite wall, the Dullahan turned the knob of the room’s only door and stepped outside… into a fairly nondescript hallway, with some minor decorations here and there. There were two more doors, as well as a staircase leading down. Frowning, Beldia tried thinking back to the previous night.
He’d met that guy… Kazuma? Yes, Kazuma. And they went to a bar, where Kazuma bought him a drink, and then… some other guy joined them? What was his name, again? Dirt? Anyway, they’d spent the evening drinking and talking… about the Overlord.
A flash of anger passed through Beldia’s mind. Oh, yes, the Overlord. The bane of his existence. And Kazuma and Dirt had suffered at his hands as well, though after they shared stories they had all agreed that Beldia had taken the worst of it. And then they kept buying him drinks, and… they went bar-hopping? Yes, he distinctly remembered seeing the interior of several different bars, so they had to have gone bar-hopping. And… then what?
Beldia shook his head. Everything else was a blur of bars, drinking, singing and talking. And drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. Kazuma bought most of the drinks, didn’t he? Maybe; the Dullahan couldn’t remember, exactly.
“What happened after that…?”
At that moment, someone came up the stairs. “Oh, Mister Beldia! Good morning!”
Beldia blinked and stared at the familiar, extremely busty brunette. “Wiz?” he asked incredulously. “Why are you here? Where are we?”
“Oh, this is the upper floor of my store, silly,” the Lich – and fellow Demon King general – replied, laughing. “Don’t you remember? You were drunk and singing outside my store last night. I was so surprised to see you in Axel! I invited you to stay the night in my guestroom, since it was so late, and you offered to work in my store as thanks since you didn’t have any money.”
I did what, now? “What? Are you being serious right now?”
Wiz nodded happily. “Uh-huh! Oh, it’s going to be so great to finally have someone to help me mind the store!”
“Uhhhhh…”
Then she clapped her hands together. “Oh, on that note, I need to go run some errands. Would you mind terribly looking after the store for me while I’m gone?”
Beldia, still reeling from the sheer unreality of the situation, slowly nodded his head… with the aid of his hands, which made the motion more than a little awkward. “Er… Fine.”
“Great! Please, follow me and I’ll tell you all about how to run the register!”
Bemused, Beldia followed Wiz down the stairs. How the hell did things end up this way…?
Alas, there were no answers forthcoming; Wiz didn’t know much more than she had already told him, but was more than happy to chatter away about the mysterious workings of the “register” – a strange, mechanical contraption that was apparently used to calculate the price of purchases, among other things. The Lich gave him a rundown on its use, but he wasn’t really listening, being too lost in his own thoughts to pay attention. After a few minutes she excused herself, saying she would be back in a couple hours.
And so, Beldia was left alone – a tall, armored Dullahan covered in bandages and a large cloak and hood manning the register. Unsurprisingly, the small number of people who came to the store left quickly at the sight of him. Beldia didn’t blame them; even with his head attached with bandages and wearing his disguise, he cut an imposing figure, not the least on account of his glowing red eyes.
The Dullahan bit back a curse at the thought. There was someone else who had glowing eyes… someone who had been his nemesis for several weeks, now, and quite possibly his most implacable foe ever.
… No. No, there was nothing “quite possibly” about it; the Overlord was, by far, the most horrific enemy Beldia had ever come across, whether during his life as a Knight or his undeath as a Dullahan. Well, hopefully, he could lay low here for the time being until he could prepare for the journey back to-
At that moment, the door to the store opened. “Hey, Wiz! How you do- Huh?”
Beldia’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of the armored figure standing in the doorway. It was the Overlord! Why was he here? Had he tracked him here? Was this all a setup?!
The Overlord walked into the store. “Oh, hey, it’s the salesman!”
He are stupid salesperson we is telling you about, Overlord… Wark! … Oi, stupid salesperson are back… Kweh! … Oi, no salespeople! … Nuh-uh. I fart at your general direction! … We’s would. We’s would very much… The Overlord are busy! He no see salespeople! … Wark! … Your mother are the fluffy rodent, and your father smell like old berries! … Act-choo-alley, we is have many more chickens, now… Kweh! … You saw the sign, didn’t you? … We is da Crimson Cavalry! And we is fight for Overlord! … Kweh… Wark! … KWEH! … What are you selling? What are you selling? … You no can read very important sign? … What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? I’s unclog my nose at you, you son of a window-dresser! What are you selling? Wark! What are you selling? Foh da Overlord! What are you selling? What are you selling? Kweh! What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? Da Overlord not talk to salespeople. You is go away. What are you selling? What are you selling? Wark! What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling?
“You should have told me you worked for Wiz,” the Overlord said cheerfully, snapping the Dullahan out of his thoughts. “So, what are you selling today?”
Beldia… twitched.
End Chapter 21
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Chapter 21: A Roller Coaster Ride Of Emotions, Part II
You know, I really should’ve taken the time to learn to ride these things, I mused as I rode on in pursuit of Yunyun, my Chocobo lagging further and further behind as it rode its twisty path forward, a direct result of my inexpert steering. I hadn’t ridden a horse since I was a kid, and honestly didn’t remember too much of it, not to mention that Chocobos had a very different anatomy which made for some decidedly different riding characteristics. Plus, it had only been a couple days since I got the Chocobos, and I’d been too busy to really familiarize myself with them. Behind me, the Minions did their best to follow me like the tail of an unusually wobbly comet.
Unfortunately, this meant that Yunyun was getting further and further away from us; being too panicked to even attempt to steer properly, the Crimson Magic Clanner was carried away at speed by the Crimson Chocobo, which didn’t seem the least bit inclined to slow down. When it carried her past a pair of surprised town watchmen, through the gate and into Axel beyond, I swore to myself.
“Char!” I called out, prompting the Minion to ride up beside me. “Forget about following me; go and stop Yunyun! Bring the rest of the Reds with you.”
“Okies, Overlord,” the Red Minion acknowledged. He saluted, then turned to look over his shoulder. “Oi! Crimson Cavaly is follow me! We is stop Yunyun!”
“Without hurting her or anyone else!” I clarified, having just then been struck with a sense of foreboding. “That part’s very important!”
“You is hear Overlord!” Char called out. “We is stop Yunyun, but we no is hurties her or anyone! You’s got that?!”
There was a chorus of confirmations, and then the Reds rode off, charging past the town watchmen into the town. For my part, so as to prevent a panic – and to slow down and try to get my bearings back – I slowed to a halt by the gate and the confused and somewhat unnerved guards.
“Hold!” one of them called out, unnecessarily, after I stopped. “What’s going on here? What’s with those weird birds?”
“They’re Chocobos,” I answered quickly. “They’re basically horses. Look, a new rider panicked and rode off, and we’re trying to get her back under control. There’s nothing, uh, untoward going on. So don’t raise the alarm or anything. I’ll take care of everything.”
The older of the two watchmen squinted up at me. “Hey, aren’t you that ‘Overlord’ fellow?”
“Yeah, that’s right,” I responded, nodding. Beneath me, the Chocobo buckled back a couple steps under my awkward steering. Fortunately, as a two-legged animal, it didn’t have the same trouble with buckling as a horse. I petted the bird soothingly on the back of its head as I looked at the watchmen. “The girl you saw riding into town is my party member.”
“Well, that explains it, then,” the older watchman said, nodding as if nothing was wrong. “I’ve heard all kinds of weird things about you and your creatures. You seem like an alright lot, if a bit smelly.”
“A-are you sure?” the younger watchman asked, shooting his companion a dubious look. “They just charged into town…”
The older watchman waved it off. “He’s a registered adventurer and hasn’t caused any trouble before,” he said dismissively. “That’s more than can be said for most of ‘em. I say we leave it to him.”
“But-”
“Look, do you wanna stay here, in the shade, or go running about town like a headless chicken in the sun?”
The younger watchman hesitated. “Well, when you put it that way…”
“Thanks for your understanding,” I said, relieved. I rode past them. “I won’t forget it!”
Now where the hell did Yunyun go?
Yunyun had stopped screaming. Not because her panic had subsided, but rather because it didn’t seem to be helping, anyhow. The Chocobo didn’t stop its mad dash, however, and as they came into the town proper Yunyun soon found herself calling out “Sorry!”, “Look out!”, “Please get out of the way!” and variations thereof so many times in such a short span of time that she lost track. Fortunately – whether through luck or skill or both – the Chocobo managed to avoid running over anyone. It did, however, leap into the air to avoid smashing head-first into a wagon, and to Yunyun’s distress it kicked off the roof of the vehicle and landed on top of a building, then began running and hopping across rooftops.
It had to be said that adding significant height on top of everything else did nothing to ease Yunyun’s sense of complete and utter panic. To wit, the sense of weightlessness at the apex of each hop between buildings was particularly unnerving to the poor young Crimson Magic Clanner, and after the first time looking down she scarcely dared to even keep her eyes open.
As such, it was with some relief that Yunyun found herself coming to a sudden and surprising stop. Cracking an eye open, she looked about and saw that she was in an alley, empty save for some wooden boxes, her arms held tightly around the Chocobo’s neck. Opening her other eye, Yunyun tilted her head back. The Chocobo, its deep blue eyes making a sharp contrast to its bright red plumage, looked back at her.
“Wark!” it chirped happily.
Yunyun blinked and bit her lip. “Um…”
“Kweh!”
“I… Huh?” Slowly, she straightened, her face coming closer to the Chocobo’s. “What?”
“Kweh! Wark! Woo-hee-hoo!” the Chocobo chirped, emphasizing each noise with vigorous movements that almost caused its rider to fall off now that she was no longer desperately clinging onto its neck.
Yunyun took a moment to regain her balance and licked her lips. “I… I’m afraid I don’t understand…”
“Kweh,” the Chocobo said… shrugging? It felt like a shrug, the way it caused Yunyun to bob up and down briefly.
She hesitated. For all intents and purposes, it seemed like the strange bird was talking to her… Was it trying to calm her down? To be… friendly? “Are you… You are talking to me… aren’t you? I’m not imagining it?”
“Wark!” the Chocobo said brightly… alas not answering Yunyun’s question at all.
“I… I’m very sorry, but I don’t understand you!” she said desperately, finding herself getting nervous. Here she was, being talked to in what seemed to be a friendly manner, and she couldn’t even understand the words being spoken… er, chirped. “But you seem to understand me… I-I’m very sorry for being rude!”
“Kweh,” the Chocobo replied, shrugging again. “Wark!”
With that, it set off again, albeit at a much more leisurely pace than before, to the point where Yunyun didn’t even have to hold on. Not that that stopped her from doing so anyway.
“Eh? Where are we going?”
“Woo-hee-hoo!”
“I’m truly very sorry, but I really don’t understand!”
“I is no see Yunyun,” Cinders said to Char, who frowned.
“Me neither,” he returned, looking around. They had lost sight of Yunyun when she rode through the town gate, only to catch a glimpse of her hopping over the rooftops before she disappeared again. At the moment, Char and the other Reds had slowed to a stop in the middle of a busy – though currently rather panicked and accident-stricken – intersection to debate their next course of action. They ignored the pointing and staring.
“Maybe she are invisible?” Burns suggested.
Char shook his head. “Nah, I no think so. She are probably hiding.”
“Ohhh, it are hide-and-go-seek game, now?” Cinders asked with a grin. “I is like play tag, but that good game, too.”
Char pondered this, rubbing his chin in the same way he had seen the Overlord do on many an occasion. “You is could be right… Okies! Crimson Cavalry, we is spread out and hide-go-seek for Yunyun!”
“Wait,” Burns said suddenly. “How big are playing field?”
“It are probably town,” Char answered after a moment’s thought. “It be cheating if they leave. We is proud and fair Reds, not cheaty Greens.”
The other Reds nodded at this masterful piece of logic.
“Okies, Crimson Cavalry!” Char called out, “Hide-go-seek for Yunyun!”
“““““Okies!”””””
I rode into town, looking everywhere but to no avail. I saw plenty of signs of the Chocobos’ passing – the many panicked people and occasional overturned cart was evidence enough of that – but I could find no hide nor hair – or should that be feather? – of either the Minions or Yunyun. Where could they have gone?
I continued on at a leisurely pace, straining to listen for the telltale chirps and other noises produced by the Chocobos as my eyes roamed the streets and buildings of the town, doing my best to ignore the stares and whispers of the pedestrians. The helmet really helped with the last part.
After a couple minutes, I heard what I could only describe as a continuous roar. Looking back whence I’d come, I saw a rapidly approaching dust cloud, a blue-clad figure at its head. I blinked and focused on the figure. Aqua?
Yes, it was the goddess, running toward me at an impressive clip, her feet kicking up a cloud of dust in her wake. What in the world was she up to?
“I’ve finally caught you!” she called out as she neared. She reared back one arm, her fist becoming suddenly enveloped in multicolored light. “Face divine punishment for making innocent girls cry, demon! God Strike!”
Blinking at the strange proclamation, I leaned back slightly, prompting my Chocobo to take a step back as Aqua leapt into the air and punched… nothing. There was a brief, slow-motion moment as she turned her head to look at me as she passed by, her expression changing from righteous fury to surprise to panic… and then time sped back up and the goddess sailed past on account of her own accumulated momentum. I trotted on after her as she crashed and rolled along the street, completely out of control. She squawked comically as her tumble took her up and over a tiny, grassy knoll… and into the river beyond with a splash.
I rode to the top of the knoll and dismounted. Looking out across the water, I saw Aqua surface, the Arch-priest drawing back a breath as she did so. She was clearly disoriented and very much disheveled, her hair covering her face as she turned this way and that.
“So what was that all about?” I called out to her. Orienting on the sound of my voice, the goddess turned her head in my direction and used her hands to part her hair.
“You!” she said, scowling. “You’re not gonna get away with this!”
“Get away with what?” I asked, tilting my head at her. “It’s not my fault you decided to throw yourself in the river.”
“Yes it is! You moved!”
I shot her a deadpan look. “I moved. Right. So again, what was that all about?”
“You made that girl cry,” Aqua replied, crossing her arms over her chest. “Twice, even! I saw it!”
“If you’re talking about Yunyun, she was crying from happiness this morning,” I retorted. “You know, since she finally found a party. Apparently she’s been having a tough time of it.”
“Ha! As if I’m gonna believe that! And even if it was true, what about just now, huh?”
I hesitated. “Ah… That’s…”
Aqua pointed at me. “Aha! I knew it! Filthy demon! What did you do to her, huh?!”
“I didn’t do anything!” I protested. “She got on the Chocobo and then it ran off. I’m trying to catch her.”
The goddess snorted. “Oh, please,” she said, crossing her arms once more. “Do you really think I’m stupid enough to fall for that?”
“… Is that a trick question?”
“Wha- Hey!” Aqua scowled. “Why are you always so mean to me?!”
“Why are you always casting spells at me?” I countered.
“Because it’s my duty as a goddess to purify the world’s evils! Like you and your Gauntlet!”
“You mean the Gauntlet that you gave to me?”
Aqua twitched and looked away. “That… That was a momentary lapse in judgment…”
I snorted a laugh. “‘Momentary’. Right. And I’m the fucking-”
“Overlord!”
I turned at the call to find Darkness approaching… carrying Megumin on her back, for some reason. Was she injured? No, that didn’t make any sense; she had Aqua in her party, and the goddess knew the Heal spell, didn’t she? Besides, she didn’t look injured… “Oh, hey Megumin. Darkness.”
“Hey, don’t ignore me!” Aqua called from the river. I ignored her.
Darkness was breathing pretty heavily as she slowed to a stop in front of me, no doubt from carrying Megumin for however far a distance. The Crusader opened her mouth. “Over-”
“Overlord!” Megumin exclaimed, somehow managing to sound dramatic despite her less-than-dramatic position being piggybacked by Darkness. She pointed her staff at the Chocobo. “What is that bird?!”
“It’s a Chocobo,” I answered. “Look, I’m kinda in a hurry, alright? Yunyun got on one of these and ran off, and I’m trying to find her.”
“Y-yes!” Darkness piped up suddenly. “I saw that! She was crying and screaming! Just what did you do to her?!”
“I didn’t do anything,” I said, rolling my eyes. Was the Crusader going to get all up in my grill about this, like Aqua had? True, Crusaders were basically this world’s version of paladins, so being all uptight and goody-two-shoes was probably their default setting… which didn’t really bode well for me under the circumstances. Better explain things fast. “She got on a Chocobo and it ran off and she panicked. End of story.”
As we talked, Megumin climbed off of Darkness’ back and approached my Chocobo. Deep blue eyes met shining crimson eye as the diminutive Arch-wizard looked up. “You, Chocobo!” she said resolutely. “I demand that you ride me!”
The Chocobo started and stared. “Kweh?!”
Ears flashing red, Megumin coughed. “I-I mean, I demand that you let me ride you!”
Oh, gods, please let that not be a Freudian slip, I thought as I turned to observe the exchange.
The Crimson Chocobo and the Crimson Magic Clanner stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, the only sound being the splashing coming from the river and the sound of pedestrians passing by. Then the Chocobo haughtily turned its beak up and away.
“Kweh.”
Darkness gasped lightly. “Ah, she was rejected…”
Megumin gawked. “What?! Why?!”
“Wark.”
“Please! I beg you!”
“That’s not gonna work,” I said matter-of-factly. “Crimson Chocobos choose their riders, not the other way around.”
“C-Crimson?” Megumin repeated, turning to me. “It’s called a Crimson Chocobo?!”
“Yup. Because of the plumage,” I said, gesturing to the Chocobo’s bright red feathers.
Megumin’s knuckles whitened as she held tightly onto her staff. “That’s it… It must be fate!” She threw her arms out, her cape billowing dramatically behind her as she fixed the Chocobo with her stare, her eye shining bright red. “We both have ‘Crimson’ in our names! We’re destined to be mount and rider! Can’t you see?!”
The Chocobo looked at Megumin quietly for a moment… then turned its head away. “Kweh.”
“Oh… Rejected again,” Darkness murmured. She clenched her right hand into a fist and pressed it to her chest. “Megumin… How do you feel…?”
The Arch-wizard, for her part, staggered back as if struck. “But why?!”
At that moment, Aqua reached the top of the knoll, having trudged her way up out of the river. “Don’t be fooled, Megumin! That’s some kind of Devil bird, I’m sure of it! Don’t be taken in by-”
“Create Water.”
Aqua sputtered and started teetering backward as the jet of water shot from my hand into her face. After a moment precariously balanced on one leg, she fell, tumbling screaming downhill and hitting the water with a loud splash.
“Just for the record, Chocobos have nothing to do with Devils or demons of any kind,” I said once I turned back around. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I seriously need to go find Yunyun and-”
“M-Mister Jason!”
I blinked. Looking over to the left, I saw a Chocobo trotting along down the street toward us, Yunyun on its back.
“Oh, you got him under control?” I asked, smiling and inwardly sighing in relief. “Good job, Yunyun.”
The Crimson Magic Clanner looked down abashedly, her cheeks slightly red as the Chocobo came to a stop. “Th-thank you. He’s really nice when you get to know him. H-he scared me at first, but… I think we’re…” She blinked, her eyes wet with barely-contained tears. “...I think we’re friends now.”
“That’s great,” I said, nodding. I looked around. “Um, you wouldn’t happen to have seen the Reds…?”
Yunyun blinked again. “No… not since the gate.”
“Damn,” I muttered. “Guess I gotta look for ‘em… Figures.”
“Yunyun!” Megumin stepped forth, pointing her staff at her fellow Arch-wizard. “How? How did you tame that thing?! Tell me!”
“Huh? Oh, Megumin… I-I didn’t really tame him…”
“Right, like I said before, Chocobos choose their riders,” I spoke up. “That one chose Yunyun. Then, because apparently he decided to show off what he could do, he ran off like a damn roadrunner on a caffeine high.” I shot the Chocobo in question a dirty look, prompting the bird to look away awkwardly. Well, at least he had the decency to be ashamed.
Megumin spent a long moment staring up at Yunyun, her expression unreadable. Then she turned and began climbing onto my Chocobo, who protested loudly. “I’m gonna ride a Chocobo, too! Anything Yunyun can do, I can do better!”
“M-Megumin!” Yunyun exclaimed. “Th-that’s mean!”
Of course, the Chocobo wasn’t about to just stand there and let her climb onboard. It flapped its wings once, throwing Megumin off to land on her butt on the ground. “Kweh!”
“Ow!” The Arch-wizard rubbed her rear. “Why won’t you let me ride you?!”
“Wark!” the Chocobo chirped in an annoyed tone… an instant before it let out a warning breath of flame above Megumin’s head. Alas, it had the opposite effect.
“You breathe fire, too?!” Megumin squealed.
I sighed and rubbed my temples. This was starting to get complicated. “Look, Megumin-”
“I’m back! And don’t think you-”
“Create Water.”
There was a surprised cry, a sputter, and a splash. Then, “Why do you always have to spray me in the face?!”
Sniggering, I turned my back on the river goddess and focused on Megumin, my gaze stopping to linger on the suddenly red-faced Crusader. Was she upset about the way I treated Aqua? Eh, whatever. “Look, Megu-”
“Megumin! Your hat’s on fire!” Yunyun interrupted me, her voice aghast.
“Eh?” Megumin, who’d been completely absorbed in cooing and awwing at the very uncomfortable-looking Chocobo, blinked. Removing her pointy, somewhat droopy, hat, her eye widened as she saw that it was, indeed, on fire. Before she could panic about it, I lazily raised my hand.
“Create Water.”
The water not only extinguished the flames, but also knocked the hat out of the Crimson Magic Clanner’s grip. She let out a surprised yelp and ran after it as it tumbled down the street.
I wasted no time in getting back on my Chocobo. “Okay, Yunyun, now’s our chance! Let’s go!”
“Huh? Go where?”
“We gotta go find the Reds,” I answered, only half-lying. In truth I also wanted to get away from Kazuma’s party members; Megumin was acting way too fangirly over the Chocobos for my liking, and Aqua was being extra stupid and annoying for some reason. And Darkness… Well, Darkness hadn’t really done anything, but I had a sneaking suspicion she might join the fray at any time.
“Hey, wait a moment, Overlord!”
Yeah, like that. “Sorry, can’t stay, gotta go. Bye!”
With that I took off, Yunyun following close behind. Unlike before, she seemed to have good control of her Chocobo.
Seriously, good job, Yunyun. Now to find the Reds and get back to the Dark Castle.
In the end, it took several hours to find the Reds, as not only had they scattered across Axel, but apparently a number of them had gotten it into their heads that we were playing hide-and-seek.
Really, I had no idea what went through the Minions’ minds at times. Sometimes I wondered if they didn’t all suffer from some kind of ADD.
Then again, I can get pretty easily distracted myself, so I probably shouldn’t talk…
In any case, by the time I bid Yunyun adieu and returned to the Dark Castle, it was already nighttime. Feeling surprisingly tired from the day’s activities, I promptly went to bed and didn’t rise again until well after the sun.
I don’t wanna do any quests today… Maybe I should go visit Wiz?
Beldia groaned as he blearily opened his eyes. Thanks to his regeneration he didn’t suffer from hangovers, but even so he was still feeling disoriented from the previous night’s activities. For starters, where was he? He didn’t recognize the ceiling. Was he in a hotel?
Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Beldia had to quickly grab his head when it almost fell off his shoulders, the bandages having come undone at some point during the night. With some difficulty he remade them, then stood up and looked around.
He was in a small room, occupied by little beyond a single bed, a wardrobe, and a low stool. There was a window on one wall, looking out over a busy street. Okay, so he was still in Axel, at least. Probably.
Turning to the opposite wall, the Dullahan turned the knob of the room’s only door and stepped outside… into a fairly nondescript hallway, with some minor decorations here and there. There were two more doors, as well as a staircase leading down. Frowning, Beldia tried thinking back to the previous night.
He’d met that guy… Kazuma? Yes, Kazuma. And they went to a bar, where Kazuma bought him a drink, and then… some other guy joined them? What was his name, again? Dirt? Anyway, they’d spent the evening drinking and talking… about the Overlord.
A flash of anger passed through Beldia’s mind. Oh, yes, the Overlord. The bane of his existence. And Kazuma and Dirt had suffered at his hands as well, though after they shared stories they had all agreed that Beldia had taken the worst of it. And then they kept buying him drinks, and… they went bar-hopping? Yes, he distinctly remembered seeing the interior of several different bars, so they had to have gone bar-hopping. And… then what?
Beldia shook his head. Everything else was a blur of bars, drinking, singing and talking. And drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. Kazuma bought most of the drinks, didn’t he? Maybe; the Dullahan couldn’t remember, exactly.
“What happened after that…?”
At that moment, someone came up the stairs. “Oh, Mister Beldia! Good morning!”
Beldia blinked and stared at the familiar, extremely busty brunette. “Wiz?” he asked incredulously. “Why are you here? Where are we?”
“Oh, this is the upper floor of my store, silly,” the Lich – and fellow Demon King general – replied, laughing. “Don’t you remember? You were drunk and singing outside my store last night. I was so surprised to see you in Axel! I invited you to stay the night in my guestroom, since it was so late, and you offered to work in my store as thanks since you didn’t have any money.”
I did what, now? “What? Are you being serious right now?”
Wiz nodded happily. “Uh-huh! Oh, it’s going to be so great to finally have someone to help me mind the store!”
“Uhhhhh…”
Then she clapped her hands together. “Oh, on that note, I need to go run some errands. Would you mind terribly looking after the store for me while I’m gone?”
Beldia, still reeling from the sheer unreality of the situation, slowly nodded his head… with the aid of his hands, which made the motion more than a little awkward. “Er… Fine.”
“Great! Please, follow me and I’ll tell you all about how to run the register!”
Bemused, Beldia followed Wiz down the stairs. How the hell did things end up this way…?
Alas, there were no answers forthcoming; Wiz didn’t know much more than she had already told him, but was more than happy to chatter away about the mysterious workings of the “register” – a strange, mechanical contraption that was apparently used to calculate the price of purchases, among other things. The Lich gave him a rundown on its use, but he wasn’t really listening, being too lost in his own thoughts to pay attention. After a few minutes she excused herself, saying she would be back in a couple hours.
And so, Beldia was left alone – a tall, armored Dullahan covered in bandages and a large cloak and hood manning the register. Unsurprisingly, the small number of people who came to the store left quickly at the sight of him. Beldia didn’t blame them; even with his head attached with bandages and wearing his disguise, he cut an imposing figure, not the least on account of his glowing red eyes.
The Dullahan bit back a curse at the thought. There was someone else who had glowing eyes… someone who had been his nemesis for several weeks, now, and quite possibly his most implacable foe ever.
… No. No, there was nothing “quite possibly” about it; the Overlord was, by far, the most horrific enemy Beldia had ever come across, whether during his life as a Knight or his undeath as a Dullahan. Well, hopefully, he could lay low here for the time being until he could prepare for the journey back to-
At that moment, the door to the store opened. “Hey, Wiz! How you do- Huh?”
Beldia’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of the armored figure standing in the doorway. It was the Overlord! Why was he here? Had he tracked him here? Was this all a setup?!
The Overlord walked into the store. “Oh, hey, it’s the salesman!”
He are stupid salesperson we is telling you about, Overlord… Wark! … Oi, stupid salesperson are back… Kweh! … Oi, no salespeople! … Nuh-uh. I fart at your general direction! … We’s would. We’s would very much… The Overlord are busy! He no see salespeople! … Wark! … Your mother are the fluffy rodent, and your father smell like old berries! … Act-choo-alley, we is have many more chickens, now… Kweh! … You saw the sign, didn’t you? … We is da Crimson Cavalry! And we is fight for Overlord! … Kweh… Wark! … KWEH! … What are you selling? What are you selling? … You no can read very important sign? … What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? I’s unclog my nose at you, you son of a window-dresser! What are you selling? Wark! What are you selling? Foh da Overlord! What are you selling? What are you selling? Kweh! What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? Da Overlord not talk to salespeople. You is go away. What are you selling? What are you selling? Wark! What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling? What are you selling?
“You should have told me you worked for Wiz,” the Overlord said cheerfully, snapping the Dullahan out of his thoughts. “So, what are you selling today?”
Beldia… twitched.
End Chapter 21
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
And the Minion's mistake now becomes the truth and Beldia has been consigned to salesmanship. Sad we're nearing the end of what was written, I really hope this one continues past what you already have.
Kioras
Active member
And thus does farce become truth, in the end between drinks and depression Belinda has become a salesman.
With Wiz’s business sense there is no escape for him.
Chapter 22: A Day In The Death (Wait, that doesn't sound right...)
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Blessings To This Wonderful Overlord! Dullahan!
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Author’s Notes: Okay, because I’m gonna be busy for most of the week, I pulled an all-nighter and got you guys this chapter ahead of time! You’d damn well better appreciate it! 😡
... Incidentally, does anyone know of a way to make strike-through text in the Threadmark Label?
Chapter 22: A Day In The Death(Wait, that doesn’t sound right…)
“Hello? Anyone home?”
Beldia blinked as the Overlord waved a hand in front of his face, the motion catching his attention and bringing him back to reality.
“Ah, so you are home. You kinda blacked out for a bit, there,” the Overlord said, his voice casual and unconcerned.
Beldia felt his nostrils flare. So, his tormentor was just going to pretend nothing was wrong, was that it? Taking a deep breath, Beldia began slamming the counter with an armored fist.
“I-” Slam. “-am-” Slam. “-not-” Slam. “-a fucking-” Slam. “-salesman!”
Silence fell. In that moment, you could have heard a pin drop. Finally, after what felt like a small eternity as the two armored figures gazed at each other, the Overlord reached out and put his hand on Beldia’s shoulder.
“Look,” he said, his voice serious, “just because you haven’t found your sales pitch yet doesn’t mean you don’t have one. You just gotta dig deep.”
“Bwuh?” Beldia asked, his words failing him in the face of the sheer absurdity of the reply. That was not the reaction he expected.
“Believe it or not, I actually used to be a salesman myself, back in the day. Years ago, sure, but I know what you’re going through. Yes, things may seem bleak right now, but if you keep at it, someday you’ll be a proper salesman. I believe in you!”
With those words, the Overlord let go of Beldia’s shoulder, and the Dullahan stared mutely as the other man went over to a table full of bottles. He picked up several, then came back to the counter and plopped them down.
“In fact, I’m gonna help you. I’m guessing Wiz isn’t here, which is a shame, but since I’m here anyway, I might as well buy something. I’d like these potions, please.”
“Bluh?”
“Ah… Cat got your tongue, huh? First sale? Don’t worry, I got this. Let’s see, how much is… Yeah, okay. Here. Keep the change.”
After counting out a number of coins and putting them on the counter, the Overlord picked up the bottles and put them inside of a small sack at his hip. He looked up at Beldia, and the Dullahan could somehow feel the warmth of his smile underneath the helmet.
“Hey, first sale! Congratulations. Feels good, right? Don’t worry, it gets easier with every sale. Soon enough, you’ll be selling stuff like it’s ice-cold drinks on a hot day. Especially if it is. Keep at it!”
With that, the Overlord turned and walked out of the store, leaving Beldia to stare at the door. After a moment, he threw his head back and raised his hands above his head.
“What the hell just happened?!”
And then his world became topsy-turvy as the bandages came loose and his head fell off.
“Damn it!”
Beldia was not having a good day. After Wiz came back – and to his chagrin, congratulated him on making a sale – he stomped back upstairs to the guestroom to look for his sword. To his growing distress, he didn’t find it anywhere. He asked Wiz about it, of course, but she only told him that he didn’t have it when he showed up the previous night.
So where was it? Did he leave it at one of the bars the previous night? He hoped not, as he couldn’t for the life, er, death, of him remember which ones – or even how many – he’d been to. Where would he even start looking?
Maybe I should just go to the nearest bar and then work my way through them all? It would probably take a while, but…
With no better idea presenting itself, the Dullahan proceeded to do just that. Stopping only to tell Wiz he had something he had to do, he left the store and made his way through Axel.
Unsurprisingly, children stared at him as he passed by, their mothers – and fathers, in some cases – pulling them aside with fear written clear on their faces. While Beldia could disguise the fact that he was a Dullahan with the aid of the bandages and cloak, there was no hiding his ominously glowing, red eyes, nor his imposing height or the – admittedly dented and broken – armor he wore.
If anything, his appearance made his quest easier, as the people he asked for directions were more than happy to quickly answer him in the hopes of hastening his passing-by.
Unfortunately, while he did indeed find many bars that he had frequented the previous night – at least according to the bartenders and serving girls working there – none of them knew anything about the whereabouts of his sword. Hell, most of them didn’t even recall seeing him with it!
So I must have lost it pretty early during the bar-hopping… But where? I have no way of knowing the order in which I went to the bars, except that I probably went later to the ones where I didn’t have my sword with me. Damn it, this is all your fault, Overlord!
“Hey, hey, Mister,” a voice said, and Beldia looked down to see a small child, a boy of perhaps five or six years of age, staring up at him. “Why are you so big and scary-looking?”
“Mato, don’t talk like that!” a woman – probably the boy’s mother – admonished him. She took his hand and started to pull him away. “It’s rude!”
“But I wanna know!”
“I became this way after many trials and tribulations, each more arduous than the last,” Beldia said tonelessly, stopping the pair in their tracks. “Or so I thought. Nothing could have prepared me for the terror I’ve experienced in the past weeks…”
“Cool!” the boy cooed. “What happened?”
“Mato! Sir, I’m very sorry about my son, he’s-”
“It’s fine,” Beldia said, waving it off. “Listen, boy. The things I’ve seen-”
“W-wait a moment!” the mother interrupted. “I don’t want my son to hear anything scary! N-no offense, sir.”
“Scary?” Beldia snorted. He raised his hand and stared at his palm, his mind drifting to the… events… of the past few weeks. “There is nothing ‘scary’ about the things I’ve been through! ‘Scary’ doesn’t do it justice!” He clenched his hand into a fist. “This is a tale of pure, unadulterated horror! The creatures I’ve faced, the abomination that commands them…”
“That’s so cool! What happened, Mister?”
“Mato! Sir, I am very sorry, but I will not have my son listen to such… such…!”
“Go, then!” Beldia all but roared. “Flee from reality if you think you can! But know this: the truth is so vast and terrible that your feeble minds cannot even begin to comprehend its true scope! Perhaps, one day, the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up to you such terrifying vistas of reality, and of your frightful position therein, that you shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of-”
“Yeesh, Belphron, keep it down, will you?” a voice said suddenly, cutting off Beldia’s tirade. With the interruption, the blackness that had been enveloping his vision faded, and he noticed the mother and child had long since fled. He turned, and found himself face-to-face with a man with brown hair and green eyes.
“Kazuma?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” the young adventurer confirmed. He had rings under his eyes, and the eyes themselves were bloodshot. He rubbed the side of his head with his hand. “Damn, how can you be so chipper? My head feels like it’s gonna explode. And you drank so much more than I did… What kinda tolerance you got, anyway?” Then he blinked. “Wait, is that why your eyes are always red? Are you an alcoholic?”
“Kazuma,” Beldia repeated, ignoring the questions in favor of his own, far more important one. “Do you know where my sword went?”
“Your sword?” Kazuma frowned, putting a hand on his chin in thought. “Your sword… Oh! I remember!”
“You do?!” Beldia was ecstatic. “Where is it?!”
“Um… Well… It was like this…” Kazuma cleared his throat. “We went drinking, but after a while we ran out of money. Then you said something along the lines of ‘The drinking must go on!’ and then Dust mentioned there was an all-night pawn shop nearby…”
Beldia felt his breath leave him. Timidly, he asked, “I sold my sword…?”
Kazuma winced sympathetically. “Yeah… I tried to stop you, but you insisted. Sorry. Everything after that’s pretty blurry… I think we might’ve gone bar-hopping.”
“Kazuma… Where…” Beldia swallowed. “Where is the pawn shop?”
“Huh? I don’t remember. I’d never been there before last night, and honestly, even the stuff before the bar-hopping’s pretty blurry…”
“I have to find my sword!” Beldia exclaimed, grabbing Kazuma by the front of his tunic and shaking him. “It’s a family heirloom! I can’t lose it!”
“Alright, alright! Take it easy!” Kazuma pushed down on Beldia’s hands, and the Dullahan let go. “I’ll help you. We just gotta find Dust, right?”
“Dust… Right. Where is he?”
Kazuma hummed thoughtfully. “At this time of day… Unless he’s on a quest, he’s probably loitering at the Guild.”
“Then let’s go!” Beldia turned and stomped off.
“Uh, Belphron?” Kazuma called after him. “The Guild’s the other way.”
The Dullahan stopped. After taking a moment to compose himself, he turned. “Fine. You go first.”
Kazuma sighed. “You know, I actually had plans today… Uh, but finding your sword comes first.” He hastily added the last bit when Beldia sent a glare his way. “You know, you can be pretty intimidating when you want to be. Your eyes glow just like-”
“Don’t. Mention. His. Name.” There was an audible grinding noise as Beldia grit his teeth, his fists shaking with barely-contained anger.
“O-okay, easy there, Belphron. We’ll just… Yeah, let’s just go find Dust. Okay? The Guild’s this way.”
“Thank you,” Beldia said sincerely, unclenching his fists. After a pause, he added, “Sorry about snapping at you, Kazuma.”
“It’s okay. Believe it or not, I know what it’s like to feel frustrated.”
Believe it or not, I actually used to be a salesman myself, back in the day. Believe it or not. Believe it or not. What are you selling today? Kweh! What are you selling? Believe it or not. Wark! Oi, no salespeople! What are you selling? Believe it or not. What are you-
“Hey, uh, Belphron? Are you okay?” Kazuma asked concernedly, looking up at the Dullahan.
“Bluh?” Beldia asked intelligently. Then he shook himself. “I-I’m fine. Let’s just go. Now.”
“Uh… Right. Come along, then.”
“What do you mean he’s not here?!”
“I-I’m very sorry, sir, but I haven’t seen him all day!” the Guild employee stammered. The blonde’s breasts jiggled impressively as Beldia shook her back and forth, and under different circumstances the Dullahan would have probably been quite transfixed by the sight, but he had more important things to worry about right now, dammit!
“Hey, Belphron, calm down,” Kazuma said, putting a soothing hand on Beldia’s shoulder. “If Dust’s not here, there’s not much we can do. Let’s just go look for him someplace else.”
Beldia grunted and let go, giving the woman a chance to catch her breath. His gaze swept across the room, taking in the rather large number of adventurers – normally his enemies – staring at the scene taking place. “Have any of you seen Dust?!” he roared.
There were whispers all over as people started conferring with each other.
“He’s looking for Dust?” “I bet he’s in trouble again.” “Look at that guy. What level do you think he is?” “What happened to his armor, though? It’s all dented.” “Man, Dust’s such an idiot, always causing trouble…”
Kazuma shook his head. “This is getting us nowhere. It’s obvious no-one’s seen him.”
Beldia took a calming breath. “So what do we do now? Kazuma, I cannot stress this enough, I cannot let that sword go. It’s… precious to me.”
“Why, was it a present from your mom or something?” Kazuma asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes. When Beldia didn’t reply, his eyes widened. “Wait, are you telling me-”
Beldia sniffled. “She gave it to me when I graduated the Knights Academy,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “It’s been with me ever since.”
“Oh. Uh…” Kazuma trailed off. “Well. Uh… Why don’t we just ask around for the place? I mean, there can’t be that many all-night pawn shops in town, can there?”
Beldia drew in a sharp breath through his nose, coughed, and straightened. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. Let’s do that.”
As it turned out, there were. Being the most adventurer-dense city in all of Belzerg, perhaps even the continent, Axel didn’t merely have far more pawn shops than most other cities, but the majority of them were all-night shops, too.
“No greatswords at the moment, no. Some might ship next week, though.”
“… You get items shipped to you? Aren’t you a pawn shop?”
“Hey, kid, listen: sometimes, you gotta-”
“I don’t care about that! We’re leaving!”
“S-sorry about that! He really needs a greatsword today, you see…”
“Eh? No, I ain’t seen no greatsword. Those things are pretty rare, ya?”
“Damn it! Come on, Kazuma. We’re leaving.”
“Hey, wait a mo’! How ‘bout a longsword? I got three-”
“Not interested!”
“I wish I could help you, really, but we weren’t even open last night. Y’see, the Missus and me make it a point to close the shop once a week and-”
“I don’t want to hear about your dried-up sex life, old man! I just want to find my sword!”
“Hey, now, youngster, that’s no way to talk to your-”
“He didn’t mean it! Really! He’s just very upset about losing his sword, please forgive him!”
“Greatsword? No, but I have this fine, two-handed warhammer! Just look at that polished shaft and that huge, massive-”
“Not interested.”
“Are you sure? I mean, look at this solid, glistening head-”
“There is something very wrong with you!”
“No, I don’t recall anyone pawning a greatsword, sorry.”
“Th-that’s okay. Sorry for wasting your time.”
“Is your companion crying?”
“Please pretend you didn’t see that.”
“This is impossible!” Beldia wailed after he and Kazuma exited the fifth pawn shop, his voice filled with despair. “I’ve lost it! Mother, I’m so sorry! Please forgive your errant son! Mommy-!”
“Damn it, Belphron, keep it together!” Kazuma hissed. “People are staring!”
“I don’t care! I lost the one keepsake I had of my mother! I’m a failure as a son!”
“Man, you guys are so loud,” a whining voice said from above. “Keep it down, will ya? I have a headache.”
“Sorry, sorry!” Kazuma called out apologetically. “Really, we’re very so- Dust? Is that you?”
Beldia turned around so fast his head almost fell off. After taking a moment to surreptitiously adjust the bandages, he looked up. Sure enough, leaning out of a second-story window in the building they’d just passed was none other than the third member of their drinking trio – the blond-haired adventurer, Dust. He looked even more terrible than Kazuma, his eyes nearly as red as Beldia’s own, his face haggard and his hair and clothes disheveled. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all.
“Yeah, it’s me,” the adventurer drawled. He yawned and immediately winced, the action apparently bringing him pain. “Though I kinda wish I wasn’t me, right now. I drank way too much last night. Even I have my limits, you know?”
“Dust,” Beldia spoke, making sure to keep his voice level, but strong; the kind of voice that carried over a crowd. “Where is my sword?”
Dust blinked. “Huh?”
“Man, if your sword’s that important to you, why’d you sell it in the first place?” Dust asked once he’d exited the hotel and Beldia had explained the situation. “I mean, personally, I think it’s kinda weird for a guy to put that much importance on a sword, but-”
“It’s not just a sword!” Beldia interrupted him. “It’s a keepsake! An heirloom! A-”
“It was a present from his mom,” Kazuma supplied helpfully.
“Thank you, Kazuma, for your contribution,” Beldia said coldly. Turning back to Dust, he was surprised to find the other adventurer with one hand over his mouth, trying and failing to suppress laughter.
“Pffft… It… It was a present from your mom?” he asked. “Pfffffft-! Hahahahahahahahaha!”
Beldia lunged.
“Ack! No! Please let go of my head!”
“Say you’re sorry!”
“F-fine! I’m sorry! … Sorry that you’re such a momma’s boy! Wahahaha- Ow, ow, ow! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! Please let go!”
Kazuma rubbed his temples and sighed. “Idiots…”
At long last, with Dust’s guidance, the group reached the pawn shop they’d visited the previous night.
“You remember us, right, old guy?” Dust asked of the middle-aged shopkeeper. “We were here yesterday. This guy here-” He flicked a thumb over his shoulder at Beldia. “-sold you his greatsword. Now he wants it back ‘cause it was a… Pfft… A present from his mom.”
Beldia smacked Dust on the top of his head, causing the hung-over adventurer to let out a pained groan and sink to his knees while holding his head. The Dullahan turned to the shopkeeper.
“Do you have my sword or not?”
“The greatsword you sold me last night, huh…?”
Beldia gasped. This was it! This was truly it! “Yes! Where is-”
“I sold it an hour ago.”
Beldia felt his world shatter. Staggering back, his mind whirled with thoughts and emotions. Surprise. Confusion. Anger. Shame. Despair.
“Who did you sell it to?” Kazuma asked, and with the question a thin ray of light pierced the darkness within Beldia’s mind. The Dullahan blinked back tears.
Kazuma…!
“Who did I sell it to?” the shopkeeper asked thoughtfully. He closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “Hmm… I didn’t see the guy’s face, ‘cause he was wearing a helmet. Armor, too.”
Beldia almost stumbled as despair overtook him once more. “You… You didn’t see his face?”
The shopkeeper shook his head.
“What did the armor look like?” Kazuma pressed on, once more saving Beldia from the brink of emotional breakdown. “Was it… kinda evil-looking? Like, intimidating?”
The shopkeeper rubbed his chin. “Now that you mention it, it kinda was.”
Beldia, Kazuma and Dust – who had only just gotten back up off the floor – all exchanged looks.
“And the guy… was he kinda short?” Dust asked, grimacing as he massaged his head.
“Yeah, he was. About the same height as you,” the shopkeeper answered, gesturing toward Kazuma. “Or maybe a little taller; it’s hard to say, what with the armor an’ all.”
Kazuma and Dust’s lips became thin lines as they both glanced at Beldia. The Dullahan, for his part, raised his fists into the air, anger filling him.
“Damn you-”
“Hey! No shouting in the store!” the shopkeeper barked, prompting Dust to wince with the noise. He pointed at the door. “If you have to shout, take it outside!”
“R-right, sorry about that,” Beldia said sheepishly, dropping his arms. He quietly exited the pawn shop, Kazuma and Dust in tow, the latter with his fingers in his ears and a dreading expression on his face. Once the door closed behind them, the Dullahan took a deep breath and raised his fists to the sky.
“DAMN YOU, OVERLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!”
“Oblivious Evil!” The words were accompanied by the vigorous – and surprisingly loud – shaking of a rattle.
“Shut up, Bones,” I said absently, not really listening. “Alright, listen up, Minions,” I continued as I looked around the Throne Room, a gleeful grin on my face. There were maybe a dozen or so Minions of all four colors gathered around me, watching me attentively. Well, except for Floom, who was looking at a fly lazily flying around his head. “Today, we’re going to try and do some experimenting. To that end, I’ve bought these.” I held up the potions.
The rattle shook again. “Melter of Minds!”
Without looking, I smacked Bones with the back of my Gauntlet, sending him sprawling to the floor, disoriented but largely unharmed. Clearly, I didn’t use enough force.
“Ohhh, you is buy us colorful beer?” Smasher asked hopefully, his ears perking up. “You is best Overlord!”
“I no are want any!” Slasher exclaimed immediately, almost fearfully. He waved his hands in the air as if to ward off some great evil. “It are nuh-uh for me!”
“Well, okay, that’s fine,” I said, shrugging and filing away the reaction for later consideration. I turned to the others. “Cinders, get over here. I want you to try this one.”
Cinders reached up and took the proffered bottle. He squinted at the label. “Fi… Fir… Fir-eating lotion?” he asked, blinking. “What are that? And why it eat fir? What fir ever do to lotion?”
“It says ‘Fire-breathing potion’,” I corrected for him, even as I was quietly impressed the Minion could even read that much. Perhaps I could institute some kind of basic reading and writing program and bring them up to, say, the level of struggling elementary schoolers?
“Ohhh, I is can breathe fire if I are drink this? Not just throw?” Cinders asked, an excited grin making its way onto his face. The red, strangely glittering contents of the bottle sloshed around as he held it up for inspection.
“That’s what we’re gonna find out. Drink it.”
“Okies, Overlord. Cheerios!”
With that, the Red threw his head back and downed the potion in a single, drawn-out gulp. He burped and wiped his chin.
“It are taste funny,” he said, looking at the empty bottle. “Like explodey powder and sulfur.”
I blinked. “How do you know what sul- No, never mind. Did it do anything?”
Cinders tilted his head in apparent thought. “I’s not sure. Maybe it-”
He burped again. The results this time were rather… different… as half the gathered Minions were suddenly set on fire and started running around, screaming. Including Cinders himself, who apparently forgot he was immune to it.
“Accidental Arsonist!” Sadly, Bones was not one of the burning Minions.
Better put them out before they set something else on fire… “Create Water!”
As the water rushed toward them, the Minions’ screams became much louder and their running around much more frantic.
Evidently, when given the choice between fiery death or being dunked in water, non-Blue Minions preferred the former. I shook my head in exasperation as I adjusted my aim.
Minions…
Meanwhile, somewhere in Axel…
An armored figure whistled to himself as he walked down the street. To think that he would find such a fine, enchanted greatsword, and in a pawn shop, no less! Sure, it was too large and heavy for him to actually wield it normally, but that’s what his cheat ability was for.
Next time, Overlord, I’ll show you who’s boss! Or my name isn’t Yoshimitsu, the Monster Slayer!
End Chapter 22
A Konosuba/Overlord (no, not that one!) SI story
Disclaimer: Konosuba belongs to Natsume Akatsuki; Overlord belongs to Triumph Studios and Codemasters. I’m just borrowing them to tell some (hopefully entertaining) stories.
Author’s Notes: Okay, because I’m gonna be busy for most of the week, I pulled an all-nighter and got you guys this chapter ahead of time! You’d damn well better appreciate it! 😡
... Incidentally, does anyone know of a way to make strike-through text in the Threadmark Label?
Chapter 22: A Day In The Death
“Hello? Anyone home?”
Beldia blinked as the Overlord waved a hand in front of his face, the motion catching his attention and bringing him back to reality.
“Ah, so you are home. You kinda blacked out for a bit, there,” the Overlord said, his voice casual and unconcerned.
Beldia felt his nostrils flare. So, his tormentor was just going to pretend nothing was wrong, was that it? Taking a deep breath, Beldia began slamming the counter with an armored fist.
“I-” Slam. “-am-” Slam. “-not-” Slam. “-a fucking-” Slam. “-salesman!”
Silence fell. In that moment, you could have heard a pin drop. Finally, after what felt like a small eternity as the two armored figures gazed at each other, the Overlord reached out and put his hand on Beldia’s shoulder.
“Look,” he said, his voice serious, “just because you haven’t found your sales pitch yet doesn’t mean you don’t have one. You just gotta dig deep.”
“Bwuh?” Beldia asked, his words failing him in the face of the sheer absurdity of the reply. That was not the reaction he expected.
“Believe it or not, I actually used to be a salesman myself, back in the day. Years ago, sure, but I know what you’re going through. Yes, things may seem bleak right now, but if you keep at it, someday you’ll be a proper salesman. I believe in you!”
With those words, the Overlord let go of Beldia’s shoulder, and the Dullahan stared mutely as the other man went over to a table full of bottles. He picked up several, then came back to the counter and plopped them down.
“In fact, I’m gonna help you. I’m guessing Wiz isn’t here, which is a shame, but since I’m here anyway, I might as well buy something. I’d like these potions, please.”
“Bluh?”
“Ah… Cat got your tongue, huh? First sale? Don’t worry, I got this. Let’s see, how much is… Yeah, okay. Here. Keep the change.”
After counting out a number of coins and putting them on the counter, the Overlord picked up the bottles and put them inside of a small sack at his hip. He looked up at Beldia, and the Dullahan could somehow feel the warmth of his smile underneath the helmet.
“Hey, first sale! Congratulations. Feels good, right? Don’t worry, it gets easier with every sale. Soon enough, you’ll be selling stuff like it’s ice-cold drinks on a hot day. Especially if it is. Keep at it!”
With that, the Overlord turned and walked out of the store, leaving Beldia to stare at the door. After a moment, he threw his head back and raised his hands above his head.
“What the hell just happened?!”
And then his world became topsy-turvy as the bandages came loose and his head fell off.
“Damn it!”
Beldia was not having a good day. After Wiz came back – and to his chagrin, congratulated him on making a sale – he stomped back upstairs to the guestroom to look for his sword. To his growing distress, he didn’t find it anywhere. He asked Wiz about it, of course, but she only told him that he didn’t have it when he showed up the previous night.
So where was it? Did he leave it at one of the bars the previous night? He hoped not, as he couldn’t for the life, er, death, of him remember which ones – or even how many – he’d been to. Where would he even start looking?
Maybe I should just go to the nearest bar and then work my way through them all? It would probably take a while, but…
With no better idea presenting itself, the Dullahan proceeded to do just that. Stopping only to tell Wiz he had something he had to do, he left the store and made his way through Axel.
Unsurprisingly, children stared at him as he passed by, their mothers – and fathers, in some cases – pulling them aside with fear written clear on their faces. While Beldia could disguise the fact that he was a Dullahan with the aid of the bandages and cloak, there was no hiding his ominously glowing, red eyes, nor his imposing height or the – admittedly dented and broken – armor he wore.
If anything, his appearance made his quest easier, as the people he asked for directions were more than happy to quickly answer him in the hopes of hastening his passing-by.
Unfortunately, while he did indeed find many bars that he had frequented the previous night – at least according to the bartenders and serving girls working there – none of them knew anything about the whereabouts of his sword. Hell, most of them didn’t even recall seeing him with it!
So I must have lost it pretty early during the bar-hopping… But where? I have no way of knowing the order in which I went to the bars, except that I probably went later to the ones where I didn’t have my sword with me. Damn it, this is all your fault, Overlord!
“Hey, hey, Mister,” a voice said, and Beldia looked down to see a small child, a boy of perhaps five or six years of age, staring up at him. “Why are you so big and scary-looking?”
“Mato, don’t talk like that!” a woman – probably the boy’s mother – admonished him. She took his hand and started to pull him away. “It’s rude!”
“But I wanna know!”
“I became this way after many trials and tribulations, each more arduous than the last,” Beldia said tonelessly, stopping the pair in their tracks. “Or so I thought. Nothing could have prepared me for the terror I’ve experienced in the past weeks…”
“Cool!” the boy cooed. “What happened?”
“Mato! Sir, I’m very sorry about my son, he’s-”
“It’s fine,” Beldia said, waving it off. “Listen, boy. The things I’ve seen-”
“W-wait a moment!” the mother interrupted. “I don’t want my son to hear anything scary! N-no offense, sir.”
“Scary?” Beldia snorted. He raised his hand and stared at his palm, his mind drifting to the… events… of the past few weeks. “There is nothing ‘scary’ about the things I’ve been through! ‘Scary’ doesn’t do it justice!” He clenched his hand into a fist. “This is a tale of pure, unadulterated horror! The creatures I’ve faced, the abomination that commands them…”
“That’s so cool! What happened, Mister?”
“Mato! Sir, I am very sorry, but I will not have my son listen to such… such…!”
“Go, then!” Beldia all but roared. “Flee from reality if you think you can! But know this: the truth is so vast and terrible that your feeble minds cannot even begin to comprehend its true scope! Perhaps, one day, the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up to you such terrifying vistas of reality, and of your frightful position therein, that you shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of-”
“Yeesh, Belphron, keep it down, will you?” a voice said suddenly, cutting off Beldia’s tirade. With the interruption, the blackness that had been enveloping his vision faded, and he noticed the mother and child had long since fled. He turned, and found himself face-to-face with a man with brown hair and green eyes.
“Kazuma?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” the young adventurer confirmed. He had rings under his eyes, and the eyes themselves were bloodshot. He rubbed the side of his head with his hand. “Damn, how can you be so chipper? My head feels like it’s gonna explode. And you drank so much more than I did… What kinda tolerance you got, anyway?” Then he blinked. “Wait, is that why your eyes are always red? Are you an alcoholic?”
“Kazuma,” Beldia repeated, ignoring the questions in favor of his own, far more important one. “Do you know where my sword went?”
“Your sword?” Kazuma frowned, putting a hand on his chin in thought. “Your sword… Oh! I remember!”
“You do?!” Beldia was ecstatic. “Where is it?!”
“Um… Well… It was like this…” Kazuma cleared his throat. “We went drinking, but after a while we ran out of money. Then you said something along the lines of ‘The drinking must go on!’ and then Dust mentioned there was an all-night pawn shop nearby…”
Beldia felt his breath leave him. Timidly, he asked, “I sold my sword…?”
Kazuma winced sympathetically. “Yeah… I tried to stop you, but you insisted. Sorry. Everything after that’s pretty blurry… I think we might’ve gone bar-hopping.”
“Kazuma… Where…” Beldia swallowed. “Where is the pawn shop?”
“Huh? I don’t remember. I’d never been there before last night, and honestly, even the stuff before the bar-hopping’s pretty blurry…”
“I have to find my sword!” Beldia exclaimed, grabbing Kazuma by the front of his tunic and shaking him. “It’s a family heirloom! I can’t lose it!”
“Alright, alright! Take it easy!” Kazuma pushed down on Beldia’s hands, and the Dullahan let go. “I’ll help you. We just gotta find Dust, right?”
“Dust… Right. Where is he?”
Kazuma hummed thoughtfully. “At this time of day… Unless he’s on a quest, he’s probably loitering at the Guild.”
“Then let’s go!” Beldia turned and stomped off.
“Uh, Belphron?” Kazuma called after him. “The Guild’s the other way.”
The Dullahan stopped. After taking a moment to compose himself, he turned. “Fine. You go first.”
Kazuma sighed. “You know, I actually had plans today… Uh, but finding your sword comes first.” He hastily added the last bit when Beldia sent a glare his way. “You know, you can be pretty intimidating when you want to be. Your eyes glow just like-”
“Don’t. Mention. His. Name.” There was an audible grinding noise as Beldia grit his teeth, his fists shaking with barely-contained anger.
“O-okay, easy there, Belphron. We’ll just… Yeah, let’s just go find Dust. Okay? The Guild’s this way.”
“Thank you,” Beldia said sincerely, unclenching his fists. After a pause, he added, “Sorry about snapping at you, Kazuma.”
“It’s okay. Believe it or not, I know what it’s like to feel frustrated.”
Believe it or not, I actually used to be a salesman myself, back in the day. Believe it or not. Believe it or not. What are you selling today? Kweh! What are you selling? Believe it or not. Wark! Oi, no salespeople! What are you selling? Believe it or not. What are you-
“Hey, uh, Belphron? Are you okay?” Kazuma asked concernedly, looking up at the Dullahan.
“Bluh?” Beldia asked intelligently. Then he shook himself. “I-I’m fine. Let’s just go. Now.”
“Uh… Right. Come along, then.”
“What do you mean he’s not here?!”
“I-I’m very sorry, sir, but I haven’t seen him all day!” the Guild employee stammered. The blonde’s breasts jiggled impressively as Beldia shook her back and forth, and under different circumstances the Dullahan would have probably been quite transfixed by the sight, but he had more important things to worry about right now, dammit!
“Hey, Belphron, calm down,” Kazuma said, putting a soothing hand on Beldia’s shoulder. “If Dust’s not here, there’s not much we can do. Let’s just go look for him someplace else.”
Beldia grunted and let go, giving the woman a chance to catch her breath. His gaze swept across the room, taking in the rather large number of adventurers – normally his enemies – staring at the scene taking place. “Have any of you seen Dust?!” he roared.
There were whispers all over as people started conferring with each other.
“He’s looking for Dust?” “I bet he’s in trouble again.” “Look at that guy. What level do you think he is?” “What happened to his armor, though? It’s all dented.” “Man, Dust’s such an idiot, always causing trouble…”
Kazuma shook his head. “This is getting us nowhere. It’s obvious no-one’s seen him.”
Beldia took a calming breath. “So what do we do now? Kazuma, I cannot stress this enough, I cannot let that sword go. It’s… precious to me.”
“Why, was it a present from your mom or something?” Kazuma asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes. When Beldia didn’t reply, his eyes widened. “Wait, are you telling me-”
Beldia sniffled. “She gave it to me when I graduated the Knights Academy,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “It’s been with me ever since.”
“Oh. Uh…” Kazuma trailed off. “Well. Uh… Why don’t we just ask around for the place? I mean, there can’t be that many all-night pawn shops in town, can there?”
Beldia drew in a sharp breath through his nose, coughed, and straightened. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. Let’s do that.”
As it turned out, there were. Being the most adventurer-dense city in all of Belzerg, perhaps even the continent, Axel didn’t merely have far more pawn shops than most other cities, but the majority of them were all-night shops, too.
“No greatswords at the moment, no. Some might ship next week, though.”
“… You get items shipped to you? Aren’t you a pawn shop?”
“Hey, kid, listen: sometimes, you gotta-”
“I don’t care about that! We’re leaving!”
“S-sorry about that! He really needs a greatsword today, you see…”
“Eh? No, I ain’t seen no greatsword. Those things are pretty rare, ya?”
“Damn it! Come on, Kazuma. We’re leaving.”
“Hey, wait a mo’! How ‘bout a longsword? I got three-”
“Not interested!”
“I wish I could help you, really, but we weren’t even open last night. Y’see, the Missus and me make it a point to close the shop once a week and-”
“I don’t want to hear about your dried-up sex life, old man! I just want to find my sword!”
“Hey, now, youngster, that’s no way to talk to your-”
“He didn’t mean it! Really! He’s just very upset about losing his sword, please forgive him!”
“Greatsword? No, but I have this fine, two-handed warhammer! Just look at that polished shaft and that huge, massive-”
“Not interested.”
“Are you sure? I mean, look at this solid, glistening head-”
“There is something very wrong with you!”
“No, I don’t recall anyone pawning a greatsword, sorry.”
“Th-that’s okay. Sorry for wasting your time.”
“Is your companion crying?”
“Please pretend you didn’t see that.”
“This is impossible!” Beldia wailed after he and Kazuma exited the fifth pawn shop, his voice filled with despair. “I’ve lost it! Mother, I’m so sorry! Please forgive your errant son! Mommy-!”
“Damn it, Belphron, keep it together!” Kazuma hissed. “People are staring!”
“I don’t care! I lost the one keepsake I had of my mother! I’m a failure as a son!”
“Man, you guys are so loud,” a whining voice said from above. “Keep it down, will ya? I have a headache.”
“Sorry, sorry!” Kazuma called out apologetically. “Really, we’re very so- Dust? Is that you?”
Beldia turned around so fast his head almost fell off. After taking a moment to surreptitiously adjust the bandages, he looked up. Sure enough, leaning out of a second-story window in the building they’d just passed was none other than the third member of their drinking trio – the blond-haired adventurer, Dust. He looked even more terrible than Kazuma, his eyes nearly as red as Beldia’s own, his face haggard and his hair and clothes disheveled. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all.
“Yeah, it’s me,” the adventurer drawled. He yawned and immediately winced, the action apparently bringing him pain. “Though I kinda wish I wasn’t me, right now. I drank way too much last night. Even I have my limits, you know?”
“Dust,” Beldia spoke, making sure to keep his voice level, but strong; the kind of voice that carried over a crowd. “Where is my sword?”
Dust blinked. “Huh?”
“Man, if your sword’s that important to you, why’d you sell it in the first place?” Dust asked once he’d exited the hotel and Beldia had explained the situation. “I mean, personally, I think it’s kinda weird for a guy to put that much importance on a sword, but-”
“It’s not just a sword!” Beldia interrupted him. “It’s a keepsake! An heirloom! A-”
“It was a present from his mom,” Kazuma supplied helpfully.
“Thank you, Kazuma, for your contribution,” Beldia said coldly. Turning back to Dust, he was surprised to find the other adventurer with one hand over his mouth, trying and failing to suppress laughter.
“Pffft… It… It was a present from your mom?” he asked. “Pfffffft-! Hahahahahahahahaha!”
Beldia lunged.
“Ack! No! Please let go of my head!”
“Say you’re sorry!”
“F-fine! I’m sorry! … Sorry that you’re such a momma’s boy! Wahahaha- Ow, ow, ow! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! Please let go!”
Kazuma rubbed his temples and sighed. “Idiots…”
At long last, with Dust’s guidance, the group reached the pawn shop they’d visited the previous night.
“You remember us, right, old guy?” Dust asked of the middle-aged shopkeeper. “We were here yesterday. This guy here-” He flicked a thumb over his shoulder at Beldia. “-sold you his greatsword. Now he wants it back ‘cause it was a… Pfft… A present from his mom.”
Beldia smacked Dust on the top of his head, causing the hung-over adventurer to let out a pained groan and sink to his knees while holding his head. The Dullahan turned to the shopkeeper.
“Do you have my sword or not?”
“The greatsword you sold me last night, huh…?”
Beldia gasped. This was it! This was truly it! “Yes! Where is-”
“I sold it an hour ago.”
Beldia felt his world shatter. Staggering back, his mind whirled with thoughts and emotions. Surprise. Confusion. Anger. Shame. Despair.
“Who did you sell it to?” Kazuma asked, and with the question a thin ray of light pierced the darkness within Beldia’s mind. The Dullahan blinked back tears.
Kazuma…!
“Who did I sell it to?” the shopkeeper asked thoughtfully. He closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “Hmm… I didn’t see the guy’s face, ‘cause he was wearing a helmet. Armor, too.”
Beldia almost stumbled as despair overtook him once more. “You… You didn’t see his face?”
The shopkeeper shook his head.
“What did the armor look like?” Kazuma pressed on, once more saving Beldia from the brink of emotional breakdown. “Was it… kinda evil-looking? Like, intimidating?”
The shopkeeper rubbed his chin. “Now that you mention it, it kinda was.”
Beldia, Kazuma and Dust – who had only just gotten back up off the floor – all exchanged looks.
“And the guy… was he kinda short?” Dust asked, grimacing as he massaged his head.
“Yeah, he was. About the same height as you,” the shopkeeper answered, gesturing toward Kazuma. “Or maybe a little taller; it’s hard to say, what with the armor an’ all.”
Kazuma and Dust’s lips became thin lines as they both glanced at Beldia. The Dullahan, for his part, raised his fists into the air, anger filling him.
“Damn you-”
“Hey! No shouting in the store!” the shopkeeper barked, prompting Dust to wince with the noise. He pointed at the door. “If you have to shout, take it outside!”
“R-right, sorry about that,” Beldia said sheepishly, dropping his arms. He quietly exited the pawn shop, Kazuma and Dust in tow, the latter with his fingers in his ears and a dreading expression on his face. Once the door closed behind them, the Dullahan took a deep breath and raised his fists to the sky.
“DAMN YOU, OVERLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!”
“Oblivious Evil!” The words were accompanied by the vigorous – and surprisingly loud – shaking of a rattle.
“Shut up, Bones,” I said absently, not really listening. “Alright, listen up, Minions,” I continued as I looked around the Throne Room, a gleeful grin on my face. There were maybe a dozen or so Minions of all four colors gathered around me, watching me attentively. Well, except for Floom, who was looking at a fly lazily flying around his head. “Today, we’re going to try and do some experimenting. To that end, I’ve bought these.” I held up the potions.
The rattle shook again. “Melter of Minds!”
Without looking, I smacked Bones with the back of my Gauntlet, sending him sprawling to the floor, disoriented but largely unharmed. Clearly, I didn’t use enough force.
“Ohhh, you is buy us colorful beer?” Smasher asked hopefully, his ears perking up. “You is best Overlord!”
“I no are want any!” Slasher exclaimed immediately, almost fearfully. He waved his hands in the air as if to ward off some great evil. “It are nuh-uh for me!”
“Well, okay, that’s fine,” I said, shrugging and filing away the reaction for later consideration. I turned to the others. “Cinders, get over here. I want you to try this one.”
Cinders reached up and took the proffered bottle. He squinted at the label. “Fi… Fir… Fir-eating lotion?” he asked, blinking. “What are that? And why it eat fir? What fir ever do to lotion?”
“It says ‘Fire-breathing potion’,” I corrected for him, even as I was quietly impressed the Minion could even read that much. Perhaps I could institute some kind of basic reading and writing program and bring them up to, say, the level of struggling elementary schoolers?
“Ohhh, I is can breathe fire if I are drink this? Not just throw?” Cinders asked, an excited grin making its way onto his face. The red, strangely glittering contents of the bottle sloshed around as he held it up for inspection.
“That’s what we’re gonna find out. Drink it.”
“Okies, Overlord. Cheerios!”
With that, the Red threw his head back and downed the potion in a single, drawn-out gulp. He burped and wiped his chin.
“It are taste funny,” he said, looking at the empty bottle. “Like explodey powder and sulfur.”
I blinked. “How do you know what sul- No, never mind. Did it do anything?”
Cinders tilted his head in apparent thought. “I’s not sure. Maybe it-”
He burped again. The results this time were rather… different… as half the gathered Minions were suddenly set on fire and started running around, screaming. Including Cinders himself, who apparently forgot he was immune to it.
“Accidental Arsonist!” Sadly, Bones was not one of the burning Minions.
Better put them out before they set something else on fire… “Create Water!”
As the water rushed toward them, the Minions’ screams became much louder and their running around much more frantic.
Evidently, when given the choice between fiery death or being dunked in water, non-Blue Minions preferred the former. I shook my head in exasperation as I adjusted my aim.
Minions…
Meanwhile, somewhere in Axel…
An armored figure whistled to himself as he walked down the street. To think that he would find such a fine, enchanted greatsword, and in a pawn shop, no less! Sure, it was too large and heavy for him to actually wield it normally, but that’s what his cheat ability was for.
Next time, Overlord, I’ll show you who’s boss! Or my name isn’t Yoshimitsu, the Monster Slayer!
End Chapter 22
Kioras
Active member
I blame Aqua.
She handed out cheat items and Jason choose one from a game just as quirky and off the world as the setting of Konsuba.
She granted it without a problem and thus the insanity multiplied.
The gauntlet just plays so well to the tropes of the world that he is destined to be the next Demon Lord who does nothing, or as he prefers to call himself Overlord.
She handed out cheat items and Jason choose one from a game just as quirky and off the world as the setting of Konsuba.
She granted it without a problem and thus the insanity multiplied.
The gauntlet just plays so well to the tropes of the world that he is destined to be the next Demon Lord who does nothing, or as he prefers to call himself Overlord.
High Lord Rokland
Active member
Nah, worse. He is gonna make a Legit realm. Actual public serves and progress. With Wiz as his Queen.
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
At least in the light novels, the reason Eris' secret identity is Chris the Thief is because she's kept on the bounce constantly having to steal back cheat items after their Isekai owner has passed away. Aqua handed out so many that worldbreaker items are all over the place and Eris is busy constantly gathering them up to keep the sheer amount of BS items from destroying the place.
JasonSanjo
Your Overlord and Jester
Gotta admit, this dicussion seems to be jolting my muse just a little. She's still in a coma, but I swear she's twitching...
Who knows, 2021 might be the year I finally get this story back on track. No promises, though.
Who knows, 2021 might be the year I finally get this story back on track. No promises, though.